1
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,600
All right?
2
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,240
Yeah. You?
3
00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,320
Yeah.
4
00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,040
Do you want some toa... Oh.
5
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,040
- So?
- What?
6
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,440
Ask me about the date!
7
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,280
Oh, right. Good?
8
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:31,960
- Yeah. He's, uh... He's funny, isn't he?
- Definitely.
9
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,880
Sort of... rough and...
10
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:36,640
rugged?
11
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:38,720
Like he lives under a bridge.
12
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:47,960
- All right?
- Yeah.
13
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,160
Is Roxy in there?
14
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,440
- Yeah, why?
- Well, I've just popped round to see her.
15
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,040
Surely you've popped round
to deliver my mail?
16
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,320
You haven't got any mail.
Can I come in, then?
17
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:58,400
It's like a zombie movie.
18
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,680
You're always just outside the house
trying to get in.
19
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,120
Don't be antisocial.
20
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,080
- Can I have that last bit of toast?
- Yeah.
21
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,560
Ah. Cheers, babe.
22
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,760
- Do you want something on it?
- No, you're all right.
23
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,720
- Got any peanut butter?
- No.
24
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,440
- Don't worry about it, honestly.
- Sure? I'll pop out and...
25
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,640
- Honestly, don't worry.
- All right, good.
26
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,160
Oh! I didn't tell you, did I?
Sue Fyers at work got fired.
27
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,240
What for?
28
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:32,320
Flashing.
29
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,440
Front or back?
30
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,680
Dunno, but the union's involved.
I'm staying out of it.
31
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,040
- Right, I've got to go.
- All right. See you later, mate.
32
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,280
Get out!
33
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,840
- Eh?
- What is it?
34
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,400
A woman suing a doctor
for a botched surgery.
35
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,000
- Right.
- Someone blows hot and cold, don't they?
36
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,840
Could've done with an egg,
but forget about it.
37
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,640
What happened to you last night?
You bailed early.
38
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,480
Yeah, sorry. Um...
39
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,080
What time did you get home?
40
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,000
Uh... About ten.
41
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,080
I got in at four.
42
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,000
Completely smashed.
43
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,480
Covered in kebab and fanny juice.
44
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,240
Don't ask me how.
45
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:08,760
I wasn't gonna.
46
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,560
Did too much chang,
so I was lying in bed doing the luge...
47
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:15,000
till the alarm went off,
then, boom, shower! Coffee.
48
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,880
Suit straight down the dry cleaners. Work.
49
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,200
I got home and I cried a little bit.
50
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,960
Dry cleaners are used to it.
I've shat myself twice.
51
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,120
Right. Um...
52
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,480
Just, sorry, to go back to... me.
53
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,320
I, um...
54
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:37,200
I think that I was crying
because I don't want to give up on her,
55
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,880
you know, I don't want to give up on us.
And... all I want to do is
56
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,320
just... talk to her and beg her
57
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,320
to let us go back to how it was.
58
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,880
- Matt...
- But I don't want to stifle her. I don't...
59
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,760
- Women don't want this.
- Yeah.
60
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,600
OK? It's pathetic.
61
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,560
Begging.
62
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,400
How is that good for a family?
63
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,200
Females choose mates
based on their strength.
64
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,480
OK? On their power.
65
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,400
Their capabilities to provide...
66
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,360
and keep them safe.
67
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,680
We're descended
from fucking cavemen, Matt.
68
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,160
We go out,
we kill a saber-toothed tiger,
69
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,600
we bring it back, we share it out,
70
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,200
and then we give the fittest bird
a good fucking seeing to.
71
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,480
That's where we're from.
72
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,120
Yeah, I just don't think
that's really... me.
73
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,240
No, it's not.
74
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:33,160
Being you
75
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,120
will not win her back.
It's as simple as that.
76
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,200
- You've tried that, didn't work.
- Yeah. No.
77
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,640
She thinks you're a loser.
78
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,720
Solution?
79
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,520
Be something fucking better!
80
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,280
Be something fucking stronger.
81
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:47,680
- Yeah?
- Mm.
82
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:48,720
Lie.
83
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,200
Cheat.
84
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:51,920
Just be a man.
85
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:55,440
But not you.
86
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,840
When did you start...
having all this done?
87
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,200
'Bout five years ago.
88
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,360
Started on, like, botox...
89
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,360
and, like, filler for wrinkles an' that.
90
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,840
How old were you?
91
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,480
Early 20s.
92
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,120
What wrinkles did you have?
93
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,840
Dunno, like, frown lines an' that.
94
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,040
- Right.
- Yeah, then I proper got into it.
95
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,520
I just couldn't get enough.
96
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,600
And then I got my lips done,
97
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,560
and I had a bit of a reaction.
98
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,640
But that settled down in the end.
99
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,360
And then I wanted to go bigger,
then this happened.
100
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,480
My whole face was paralyzed.
It's only just gone back to normal.
101
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,880
- Has it?
- Yeah.
102
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,080
My boobs leak.
103
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,720
They're fake an' all.
104
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,480
- Are they?
- Yeah.
105
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,240
I mean, rock hard.
106
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,320
Right.
107
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,800
Yeah.
108
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,760
Sorry, and that was the same guy...
that did your face?
109
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,000
Yeah. I was furious.
110
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,040
- Still am.
- Are you?
111
00:04:58,880 --> 00:04:59,880
It's hard to tell.
112
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,240
If you think
he botched my face and chest,
113
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,680
you should see my minge.
114
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,320
It's like a butcher's bin.
115
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:09,640
Sorry,
116
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,040
you went back to him to have your...
117
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,520
- Minge.
- Yeah, I know. I didn't want to say the...
118
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,080
Yeah, he did it for half price, though.
'Cause of how he'd ruined my face.
119
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,160
Right.
120
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,480
Why would you want to have that done?
121
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,840
I think I've got a problem.
122
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,360
Yeah.
123
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:31,880
I mean, it might be...
124
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,000
like an addiction.
125
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,560
- What, do you mean, like, I can't help it?
- Well, I guess so,
126
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:42,160
but... I mean, if you acknowledge it,
there's a chance you can...
127
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,480
get... you know, get help.
128
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,760
- Do you think I'm mental?
- Well...
129
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,400
No more than the rest of us.
130
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,800
As I say, we're all screwed up
in one way or another.
131
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,360
It sort of makes you normal.
132
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,720
- Are you laughing?
- No.
133
00:05:58,800 --> 00:05:59,800
Crying?
134
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,000
- Oh.
- Oh...
135
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,080
Um...
136
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,280
No, they've fucked my tear ducts.
137
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,480
- Take a picture.
- Yeah.
138
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,400
- Got it?
- Yeah. Great.
139
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,480
- Hiya.
- Hey.
140
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,880
Are you going
to that am-dram cabaret thing?
141
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,440
I dunno. Why?
142
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,400
Well... wondered if you'd like
to come with me?
143
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,920
- What do you mean? You mean you're going?
- Yeah.
144
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,800
Thought we could have a drink before
and sit together.
145
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,480
Right. I'm not sure if I'm going.
146
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,160
Right. Well, would you like to go...
147
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,080
with me?
148
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,960
Well, with everyone, really.
Everyone's going. We'd all be there.
149
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,280
Yeah, but I'm saying
would you like to sit with me?
150
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,200
But I don't know if I'm going.
And we don't know
151
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,016
- what seats will be free.
- If you don't want
152
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,816
- to go with me, just say.
- No, it's not that.
153
00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,520
- I haven't even checked my diary.
- Well, go on, then.
154
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,640
- What?
- Well, check it. It's right there.
155
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,480
Oh, no.
It's hardly on the right page, is it?
156
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:16,040
- There's nothing in there at the moment.
- Yeah. Right. Well, I'll, uh...
157
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,640
pencil that in, then.
158
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,360
Um, I will have to check my master diary
as well.
159
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,480
- You've got a master diary?
- Yeah.
160
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,160
I've got work here,
and then personal at home,
161
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,800
so I tend to mix and match,
actually, so... Tony?
162
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,000
Can I just... Sorry, Kath, I've got...
163
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,560
Tony, we've got our, um...
164
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,040
meeting.
165
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,040
Um... Shut the door.
166
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,480
Kath just asked me to sit next to her
at the cabaret thing.
167
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:49,520
Great.
168
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,320
- I need to get out of it.
- Why?
169
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,920
- Please help me get out of it. Please.
- How?
170
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,280
Say you're thinking
of killing yourself again.
171
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,960
Say I'm thinking
of killing myself next Thursday?
172
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,400
Well, I'll tell her, then.
173
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,240
You'll tell her you can't go with her
'cause I'm thinking of killing myself?
174
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,760
I'm not saying
I'm thinking of killing myself
175
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,400
'cause you're too chicken to say
you don't want to go on a date.
176
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,400
For fuck's sake,
it's just a favor.
177
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,560
And do you know the fable,
The Boy Who Cried Wolf?
178
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,200
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Right.
179
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,840
So, what happens when
I really am thinking of killing myself,
180
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,360
and everyone goes, "Nah, he's just trying
to get his cowardly brother-in-law
181
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,480
out of a date"?
182
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,160
Well, no, that's different in that case,
isn't it?
183
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,640
'Cause he admitted it.
He was like, "Nah, only joking."
184
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,080
So they all knew he was lying.
185
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,120
And he kept doing it, so it was obvious.
186
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,481
We'll only use this lie once,
and we'll never admit to it.
187
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:40,160
So, the moral of that fable is:
"Never admit you were lying,
188
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,320
- ever..."
- Yeah.
189
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,920
"...and always use different lies
each time"?
190
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,440
Yeah.
191
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:47,760
Nice message.
192
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:48,840
- No.
- Come on.
193
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:49,880
No.
194
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,720
- Fuck's sake.
- You're on your own.
195
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,040
There we go, Dad.
196
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,080
Good.
197
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,400
There. You're all right.
198
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,200
- Hi.
- Hiya.
199
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,040
Tony, I'm not going to sit around
and wait for you to make a move,
200
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,400
I have to get on with my life.
201
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:50,080
- Why are you acting weird?
- I'm acting weird?
202
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:51,560
For fuck's sake, Tony!
203
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,400
I'm just a bit fed up, all right?
204
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,040
- My wife died. My dad...
- Yes, I know.
205
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,600
Oh, sorry if that bores you.
206
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,920
Seriously? Fucking hell.
207
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,200
Was it just a drink?
208
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:03,920
Fuck's sake.
209
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,040
It's just a question. Was it just a drink?
210
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,360
Yes, it was just a drink!
211
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,680
OK. Good.
212
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,640
But it might not always be
just a drink, though.
213
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,560
Dad, say, "Simon is a cunt."
214
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,200
What?
215
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,720
"Simon is a cunt."
216
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:33,640
Say it.
217
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,080
- Yeah.
- "Simon is a cunt."
218
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:39,720
Remember that.
219
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000
Right.
220
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,080
All right?
221
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,360
- Is it OK? Not too hot?
- No, it's good.
222
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,280
Yeah. Manage another one?
223
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,240
You'll feel so much better
if you eat this. That's it.
224
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,640
That's better, eh? OK?
225
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:04,880
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
226
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,960
Hi.
227
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,480
- Hi.
- I've brought you a few jumpers.
228
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:14,680
- It's getting a bit chillier outside.
- Great. Thanks.
229
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,160
I mean, yeah,
can never have too many jumpers.
230
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,560
Um... I was gonna call you, actually.
231
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,160
Um, you know the cabaret thing
232
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,600
- that they're doing?
- Yeah.
233
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,080
I wondered if you wanted to come.
234
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,640
I'd have to sort a babysitter.
235
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,600
No, you can bring George.
It's for everyone.
236
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,880
Oh... I'm not sure.
237
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,320
Yeah. Um...
You'd be doing me a favor, actually.
238
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,000
- Kath's asked me to go with her.
- Why?
239
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,960
I think she's got a thing for me.
240
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,360
Well, tell her you can't
241
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,400
'cause you're going
with your wife and child.
242
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,600
Right. Yeah.
243
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,640
- Uh...
- I mean, it's nice of her, though, really,
244
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,840
'cause she probably thought
you were lonely.
245
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,240
- Probably.
- Yeah.
246
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,840
I was thinking of coming,
247
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,080
I just didn't know
whether George would be allowed.
248
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,120
- He is, yeah.
- That's good, yeah.
249
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,200
- OK, well... I'd better go.
- Yeah.
250
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,960
- Thanks for the...
- Um, but I'll see you later.
251
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,760
- Hi. You all right? Yeah, good.
- You all right?
252
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,280
All right?
253
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,080
- Um... Kath, about the, um, cabaret thing.
- Yeah?
254
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,920
I'm gonna go with Jill and George.
255
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,480
Yeah, fine. Brilliant.
256
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:36,680
Great.
257
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,680
- I'm killing myself that night!
- Don't...
258
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:45,840
What?
259
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,800
Oh. Nothing, it was a...
260
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:49,880
Weird!
261
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,400
Do you want a coffee?
262
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,520
Why?
263
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:02,880
Why?
264
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,800
Dunno, 'cause it tastes nice?
265
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,240
Come on,
let's go for a nice coffee, and...
266
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,320
talk about really interesting things
like... advertising.
267
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,440
- Yeah?
- Yeah, all right.
268
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,360
- There you go.
- Thanks.
269
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,280
Did I embarrass myself with Matt, then?
270
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:38,360
Definitely not.
271
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,280
Why would you be embarrassed
about being honest
272
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,400
and saying something nice?
He should be flattered.
273
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,720
I think he was scared!
274
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,760
I'm obviously not his type.
275
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,320
Someone just got there first.
276
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,960
But, um... you didn't do anything wrong.
277
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,360
You showed your feelings.
278
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,040
That's good.
279
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,600
I wish I'd shown my feelings more.
280
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,000
With Lisa. Um...
281
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:02,640
I...
282
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,680
Sometimes, I'd be embarrassed
to hold hands in public.
283
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,480
Or if we were on the phone
and there was people around,
284
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,160
she'd always say, "Bye. Love you."
285
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,200
And I would go, "Me too."
286
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,200
And she'd laugh, 'cause she'd know.
287
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,040
Yeah.
288
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,120
Sometimes, I was out, working late.
289
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,640
The phone would go, and I'd think,
"Oh, God, what's happened?"
290
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,520
And I'd go, "Hello?"
I'd go, "What's wrong?" And, um...
291
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,160
she'd say,
"Nothing's wrong, I just love you."
292
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,560
So... And one day,
you'll meet someone, and it'll be...
293
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,480
Life will be brilliant.
294
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,160
So, uh...
295
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,440
Nothing to feel sad about. Not yet.
296
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,960
I'm going to... walk for...
297
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,800
OK.
298
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,560
- Thanks for the coffee.
- Sure.
299
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,280
Oh, and thanks for telling me that thing
about your wife calling you.
300
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:07,360
It was lovely.
301
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,960
- See you later.
- See you later.
302
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,440
Bad day, I'm afraid.
303
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,240
The last thing you should do
is drink alone.
304
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Mm...
305
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,200
Nice.
306
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,200
Lisa was my greatest achievement.
307
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,840
I've never done anything else, really.
Not of worth.
308
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,160
Nothing else to be proud of.
309
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,040
Just that.
310
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:23,680
I won at life.
311
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:26,920
You did.
312
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,280
I'm not as good as her,
and I'm proud of that.
313
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,040
You're just different.
314
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,360
I'm angry. I'm petty. I'm sad.
315
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,320
I'm jealous of anyone
who's still got someone.
316
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,920
How did you get Lisa if you were so bad?
317
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:50,720
I'm not sure.
318
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,440
I was just nice to her, I think.
319
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,440
You should try that again.
320
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,640
I miss her so much.
321
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,400
I feel sad all the time.
322
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,400
I'm not the person I was.
323
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,240
Lisa dying, I just... It's like...
324
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,680
I lost most of me, and all the good stuff,
all the happiness...
325
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,480
any joy in anything...
326
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,600
I feel like I'm nothing, you know?
327
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,960
That's not true.
328
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,640
People think that I'm sort of OK,
you know,
329
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,816
like I'm getting on with it,
I'm snarky now and again,
330
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,120
and that this is a lapse,
but it's not.
331
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,240
This is me all the time now.
332
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,360
Everything else is the front, you know?
333
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,520
I'm not well, but I remember
334
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,040
what it was like to be normal,
so I do an impression of that.
335
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,960
But this is what I really am.
336
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,160
And I want to be normal again...
337
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,760
...but I'm weak, you know?
338
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,400
When Lisa was dying,
I tried to be brave and put a...
339
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,080
you know, a face on, to be positive,
340
00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:00,160
and even then, I'd break down sometimes,
and she'd...
341
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:02,840
...have to comfort me.
342
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,880
I couldn't even give her that.
When she was dying, she was still on duty.
343
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,560
Looking after me.
344
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,880
She'd have loved that.
345
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,320
I don't know.
346
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:18,800
I do.
347
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:22,760
'Cause I'm a woman too.
348
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,440
And it's better to be needed.
349
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,400
Be strong.
350
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,880
Everybody's struggling.
It's not always their fault.
351
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,200
There's a porter here
with a bit of a BO problem.
352
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,720
I'm quite glad you haven't bumped
into him, to be honest. He stinks.
353
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,000
And do you know why?
354
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,600
'Cause he's working twice as hard
as everyone else.
355
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,440
He's always running around doing stuff
for other people.
356
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:02,680
He's got no idea.
357
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,120
And I was going to say something,
but do you know what came out?
358
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,640
"Thank you for working so hard."
359
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,800
And he nearly cried.
360
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,560
Just tell people
you appreciate 'em now and then, yeah?
361
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,760
- Hi, sorry. Um...
- Oh, hello.
362
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,240
- Can I...? Um...
- Yeah.
363
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,560
- Is it Tony?
- Yeah. Hi. Um...
364
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,360
Has anyone asked you...
365
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,600
not to close the paper
and sell the building?
366
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,000
No.
367
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,120
Right. Um...
368
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,120
Please don't.
369
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,120
A lot of people rely on it. And, um...
370
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,760
I mean, how much will you make
from selling it?
371
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:01,880
Half a million.
372
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,600
Right... Yeah.
373
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,440
That's a lot.
374
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:09,760
Mm.
375
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,560
What will you do with that?
376
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:15,800
New car, maybe.
377
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,680
Ah... I dunno, um...
378
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,000
Potter around a bit.
379
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,440
No, it's just that, you know, if, um...
380
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:29,040
if I don't cash in my chips soon,
you know, none of my...
381
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,440
I might kick the bucket,
then it'd be too late.
382
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,640
I mean, it's not as if I need anything
as such, it's, uh...
383
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,600
Although...
384
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,160
...I wouldn't say no
to the company of a nice lady.
385
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:46,920
That's all that matters.
386
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,000
I had the best marriage imaginable.
387
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000
Magical.
388
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:54,480
Uh...
389
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,040
So, when, um, Lisa, my wife,
390
00:20:58,120 --> 00:20:59,480
when she died,
391
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,080
I was suicidal, and depressed.
392
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,120
And everyone was so nice,
everyone tried to help me and...
393
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:09,400
they sort of saved me, so...
I wanted to do something nice back.
394
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,840
But, um, anyway, you're a nice guy,
and I just want you to know,
395
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,760
you know, the whole story, and, uh...
396
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,000
I mean, if you weren't to sell it, um,
397
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,880
we could... you know, give it another go.
398
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,720
If it didn't work out,
you could sell it next year.
399
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,400
It might work, and...
400
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,560
we could do with someone...
who cared about... success,
401
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,120
'cause we are the biggest bunch
of losers you will ever meet.
402
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,040
But...
403
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:39,200
it's a... it's a good bunch.
404
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,080
It might be nice
to have a challenge again.
405
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:46,120
Cheers.
406
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:51,160
OK.
407
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,160
♪ Isn't it rich? ♪
408
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,040
♪ Aren't we a pair? ♪
409
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:58,080
You're not doing the lyrics right.
Start it again.
410
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:00,000
- Come on.
- OK. All right.
411
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,560
Don't think about it, do it.
Sing it like it means something.
412
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:04,840
♪ Isn't it rich? ♪
413
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,880
Start again so I can hear it!
414
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,240
- ♪ Isn't it rich? ♪
- ♪ Isn't it... rich! ♪
415
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,080
- ♪ Are... ♪
- ♪ Aren't we a pair? ♪
416
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,120
- No, again. "Isn't it rich?"
- Ken, I can't do it, all right?
417
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,080
Who's gonna be a superstar in a year
if he listens to his director?
418
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,976
- But I can't breathe, Ken.
- You. Do it again.
419
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,496
- I could just dance.
- Sing and dance.
420
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,936
- What are you trying to say?
- Can I do the dance on its own?
421
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,120
- If I did it with just the dance.
- He doesn't work well under pressure.
422
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,280
Ken, stop shouting at him!
423
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,096
- I'm so sorry you had to see that.
- It's OK.
424
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,320
I don't normally lose it like that.
I just...
425
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,280
I'm trying to create the best scenario.
426
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:36,960
You can do it without the words.
427
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,280
- Thanks, Ken.
- Just the dance.
428
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:39,840
- Is that what you want to do?
- Yeah.
429
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,880
If that makes you happy,
even if it's shit, and it will be,
430
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,680
I want you to be happy, all right?
431
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:46,856
- Thanks, Ken.
- This is why we do it. It's all right.
432
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,040
Hey, have I told you
about my sister's anus yet?
433
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,600
- Uh... I don't think so.
- Right, listen up.
434
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,080
Silly cow is only having it bleached.
435
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,000
Bleached! That's a thing now,
bleaching your anus.
436
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,176
- Right.
- I said, "For the love of God,
437
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,296
why are you doing that?"
She said, "So it looks nice."
438
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,320
I said, "Fuck me, who's gonna see that?"
439
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,320
More people are going to see mine,
and mine's like a fucking compost heap.
440
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,560
I think we should probably just watch.
441
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,560
- What were you talking about?
- I was telling her about my sister's anus.
442
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,000
I'm fascinated with the anus.
Always have been, always will be.
443
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,360
The man who is tired of the anus
is tired of life.
444
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,240
- You can quote me on that.
- OK, thanks.
445
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,240
How's your material going?
446
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,360
Gonna keep it loose.
447
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,240
I'm sort of
like a performance artist, so...
448
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,200
I can't be constrained in the normal way.
449
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,736
Well, you've got ten minutes,
so you better keep it that tight.
450
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,360
Ten minutes?
I can't do everything in ten minutes.
451
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,360
Oh, fuck this! Sort it out between you.
I'm off for a vape.
452
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,080
If you want me, I'll be in the disableds.
453
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,160
You all right?
454
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,080
- Yeah.
- How's it going?
455
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,240
Just got a great scoop
on Ken Otley's sister's anus.
456
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,000
It's bleached.
457
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:00,840
Good. Well...
458
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:05,120
you might have to cover these sort
of stories for a little while longer,
459
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,120
'cause Paul's agreed
not to close the paper.
460
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:09,880
- Really?
- Yeah.
461
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,400
Oh, thank you!
462
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:13,600
Don't cry.
463
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,160
You work so hard.
464
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,080
You're great.
465
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,880
- Thanks.
- All right.
466
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,480
Aww! Look at her!
Brandy! What's this?
467
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,040
- She looks like a... cartoon mouse.
- What is this?
468
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,360
I don't...
469
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,120
Get your dildo, Brand.
Get your dildo!
470
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:49,600
Good girl!
471
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,040
Brandy, say, "Sausages!"
472
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,240
♪ Once we were lovers ♪
473
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,880
♪ Can they understand? ♪
474
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,400
♪ Closer than others, I was your ♪
475
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,720
♪ I was your man ♪
476
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,480
♪ Don't talk of heartaches ♪
477
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:30,320
♪ Oh, I remember them all ♪
478
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,720
♪ When I'm checking you out
One day... ♪