1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,967 {\an8}Contrary to popular belief, the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo 2 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,010 wasn't racist. 3 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,052 It was racial. 4 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,929 - There's a difference. 5 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,014 Mr. Aquino, 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,265 passing notes and giggling? 7 00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,267 Not on my watch. 8 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,810 "Could the postcolonial reconstruction 9 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,812 of the American Southwest be any cooler?" 10 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,772 How dare you be sarcastic with me! 11 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:23,857 Mr. Wallace, it's sincere. 12 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,941 I'm that nerdy. 13 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,109 How's this for sincere? 14 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,318 Extra reading tonight. 15 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,737 On Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. 16 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:29,904 - Oh, man! 17 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,448 MR. WALLACE: Dissect the Rosenbergs' timeline 18 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,491 and see how it lines up with the show The Americans. 19 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,243 Passing notes is a slippery slope. 20 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:36,619 Hi, Teach. 21 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,079 You bored me to death! 22 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,372 Oh, God! Ahh! 23 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,750 - Oh, God! Ahh! Oh, God. 24 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,585 Oh, my God. That was so cool. 25 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:47,380 I'm your sub, Mr. Boner, and I'm hard for history. 26 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,882 I don't-- I don't deserve to die. 27 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,508 - Oh, God! Oh, God! - Yes. Yes, yes, yes. 28 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,720 We still good to try that new WWE-themed ice cream place, 29 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,763 Stone Cold Creamery? 30 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,389 Gimme a hell yeah! 31 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:57,640 Hey. Chrissy, right? 32 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,017 Arabella, don't hurt us! 33 00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,935 One of us could be the person to solve global warming. 34 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,187 You know my name? 35 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,314 That skeleton thing you did was so dank. 36 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,566 Like, such a subversion of Western hegemony. 37 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,859 Oh, yeah, that's, uh, 38 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,611 my least favorite kind of hegemony. 39 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,988 We're protesting fast fashion at Camry's later. 40 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,448 - You should come. - Uh, yeah. 41 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,491 Okay, I'll be there. 42 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,909 TTYL, Chrissy. 43 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,368 We have to stop at Forever 21. 44 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,788 I'm gonna hang out with Arabella and her friends today? 45 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,915 Sure, she's popular, but what's the big deal? 46 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,167 They're somebody. People remember their names. 47 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,044 They're not just "new girl." Oh, God. 48 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,629 What do I wear to protest fast fashion? 49 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:28,880 What's slow? A turtleneck? 50 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,465 You mean after we get ice cream, right? 51 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,300 The flavors will put you in a suplex. 52 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,219 - Cool if we reschedule? - Totally. 53 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,303 TTYL. 54 00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:38,139 LOL, NP... 55 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,933 if "LOL, NP" stood for 56 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,770 "Losing one's laughter. Nihilism, pain." 57 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:03,790 {\an8}So, uh, don't forget it's our weekly deer skinning tonight. 58 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,209 {\an8}Gonna show you how to remove soft tissue from the hide. 59 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,544 {\an8}Ugh, vom. 60 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:08,878 {\an8}Okay, can you just put down that book 61 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:09,921 and eat your breakfast? 62 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,673 {\an8}It's the novelization of Parasite. 63 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,550 {\an8}And breakfast is a social construct. 64 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,718 {\an8}Last week, you wanted dinosaur-shaped pancakes, 65 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,846 {\an8}and now you're protesting the idea of breakfast? 66 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,390 Some of us are interested in growth, 67 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,432 not just being a shill. 68 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:22,809 {\an8}I literally support anarchy. 69 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,352 {\an8}That outfit is anarchy. 70 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:25,979 {\an8}All right, Chrissy, what has gotten into you? 71 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,230 {\an8}Stop calling me that. 72 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,107 {\an8}My girlfriends call me Skelli-Trash Bride. 73 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,151 {\an8}Wait a minute--you don't have any friends that are girls. 74 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,486 I have more of a life outside of this house than you think. 75 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,697 {\an8}Coming from the girl who took Erwin to the fall dance? 76 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,657 - I'm right here. - Whatever! 77 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,534 - I'm gonna be late. Bye. 78 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,619 {\an8}Wait a minute. Who is driving you to school? 79 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,454 {\an8}- Are they old enough? - My friend Camry. 80 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,082 {\an8}And she repeated eighth grade three times, so yeah. 81 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,293 Maybe your new friends like your shitty attitude, 82 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,335 but I don't. 83 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,670 Don't touch me. 84 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,755 I wanna hang out with people my own age, 85 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,759 {\an8}not skin deer with some ancient, dried out hag. 86 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,054 {\an8}Oh, by the way, Chrissy took one of your Wiccan tools 87 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,347 {\an8}- earlier. - What? 88 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,016 {\an8}Why the fuck didn't you say something sooner? 89 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,100 {\an8}Maybe don't shit on me 90 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,435 {\an8}for being someone's fall dance date. 91 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,689 {\an8}That little fucking brat. 92 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,279 {\an8}And where does she get off calling me a hag? 93 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,572 I am 34. 94 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,449 Thank you very much. 95 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,750 Haruch vas divinite! 96 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,258 Hey, Laura, I'm joining a rec softball team. 97 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,052 You in? Oh, God. What's this? 98 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,803 I'm borrowing youth from this baby. 99 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,889 So you're taking this hag thing hard, huh? 100 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,015 Chrissy took a Wiccan tool 101 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,391 that can conjure the darkest evils, 102 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,477 and it's all because of those popular girls. 103 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,811 She's only listening to them, 104 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,105 so I have to transform myself into an actual tween 105 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,357 - to get through to her. - Oh. 106 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,524 Well, when you put it like that, 107 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,235 this kidnapping is actually cool and normal. 108 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,277 Oh, grow up. 109 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,528 They're in a state of deep slumber. 110 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,614 They might as well be in a spa right now. 111 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:00,907 This is gonna be painful for me. 112 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,242 Lock the garage door. 113 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,702 No matter how much I beg you, do not open it. 114 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,079 All right, but later, 115 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,830 I get to do one weird thing in the garage. 116 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,626 Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! 117 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,670 Erwin, this wasn't worth it! I'll Let Chrissy die! 118 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,046 Please open the garage! 119 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,383 Would it kill you to smile? 120 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,926 I promised Chrissy a weekend 121 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,928 of gambling and smoking cigars. 122 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,180 The real gamble is letting daughter try tobacco. 123 00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,641 - Ah, hold up, hold up. 124 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,059 I'm getting a text. 125 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,187 "Hey, Dad. 126 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,814 "Can't make this weekend. 127 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,357 Have a crazy school project." 128 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,650 Grimacing emoji. 129 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,694 "Working at Bennigan's." What? 130 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,196 I'm being upstaged by the fucking yo-yo kid? 131 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,156 Son of a bitch, pulling the ol' 132 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,284 "school project" routine on me? 133 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,660 It's code for butt stuff. 134 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,578 Snake with Arms, cadaver. 135 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,457 Oh, God! I killed an armadillo! 136 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,085 Fucking stairs... 137 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,837 All right, you sick fuck. 138 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,505 Ahh! Zombie armadillo! 139 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,966 It's me, the Devil, in a dead armadillo. 140 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,134 Wait, what do you want from me? 141 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,593 - Are--are we friends now? - Where is she? 142 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,179 I heard about your "school project," perv. 143 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,681 Your pee-pee's getting the guillotine. 144 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,099 I guess that was her cover. 145 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,767 I haven't seen Chrissy in days. 146 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,311 Ever since she got popular. 147 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,353 What the f-- 148 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,479 When did this happen? 149 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,189 Tell me everything you know, now! 150 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,524 This week! What's wrong? 151 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,735 Popular people are a menace to society. 152 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,153 And this is me talking. 153 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,780 I've seen this crap play out for hundreds of years. 154 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,657 First, she's popular in middle school. 155 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,702 Then she joins a middle tier sorority in college. 156 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,037 Before you know it, she's married 157 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,705 to some dick-nose named Trent 158 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,124 who works in mergers and acquisitions. 159 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,043 She'll be so wrapped up in that kind of shit, 160 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,086 she'll lose sight of what's really important in life. 161 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,130 - Her real friends-- - Universal supremacy! 162 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,882 There's gotta be something we can do, right? 163 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,717 Nah. We can't do shit. 164 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:43,968 Chrissy's popular now. 165 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,970 She won't listen to anyone except... 166 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,847 a more popular kid. 167 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,183 You're gonna possess someone more popular and get her back? 168 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,809 You kidding? If I possess, 169 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,561 Chrissy will sniff me out. 170 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:54,771 I got it! You. 171 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,980 - What? - Only you can help her. 172 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,482 No, no, no. I can't become popular. 173 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:58,775 I'm more of a wallflower. 174 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,401 Not just popular, 175 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,237 the kind of kid she doesn't use as a cover story. 176 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,781 Plus, she seems to like you. 177 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,033 Or she did, at least. 178 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:08,910 You know what? 179 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,329 Let's make me the coolest gosh-darn kid 180 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,622 this town has ever seen. 181 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,457 Now you're talkin', Benny! 182 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:22,715 All right, Laura. 183 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,509 You're wiser and hotter than these morons. 184 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,968 I'll have Chrissy back before lunch. 185 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,387 Just a reminder, 186 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,430 Principal Dawkins is holding a safety assembly 187 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,723 in the theater this afternoon 188 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,642 on the new dangers of teenager-ness. 189 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,352 Attendance is mandatory. 190 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,562 Hi. Where can I find Chrissy Feinberg? 191 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,147 I'm her lab partner. 192 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,273 Why don't you just text her? 193 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,817 Uh, because cell phones are brain poison. 194 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,110 Read a book, you dumb idiot. 195 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,237 Whoa, uncool. Weaponizing intelligence? 196 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,072 Not a behavior I wanna see normalized. 197 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,157 - Are you all right? - I just feel so gaslit. 198 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,784 Get away from us, toxic new girl. 199 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,744 Aw, wait, come on, come on. 200 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:52,912 I--I didn't mean... 201 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,372 wait a minute, why do I give a shit? 202 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,249 Stupid fuckin' teen spell, 203 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,334 making me all hormonal and emotional. 204 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,975 - You vape? - Sometimes. 205 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,560 You know it gives you popcorn lung. 206 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,520 - What are you, my mom? - Uh, me? No-- 207 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,896 I'm Abigail Carter-Lange, 208 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,481 new in town, no discernible past, 209 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:21,774 so don't bother looking me up. 210 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,068 - Okay? - So what's the haps, huh? 211 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,446 Where do the, uh, cool kids go to let loose 212 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,156 and play with otherworldly artifacts? 213 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,240 Are you confused? 214 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,452 Is toxic new girl bothering you? 215 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,037 - No, she just, like-- - Who made those braces, Amtrak? 216 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,457 Those shoes should come with a Content Warning. 217 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,916 Let's leave before toxic new girl 218 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,334 tries to red-pill us. 219 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,046 Well, who made your shoes, huh? 220 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,131 Amtrak? 221 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,424 Damn it. 222 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:50,553 "Slimm Timm"? 223 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,805 Who the hell is Slimm Timm? 224 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,478 All right, first step in making you cool as shit 225 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,563 was getting you this cool-as-shit hat. 226 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,565 I will agree with you, sir, on this. 227 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,567 - This hat is super cool. - Keep it on. 228 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,985 I'm gonna pull your hair to control you. 229 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,528 Ooh, like Ratatouille. 230 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,572 If you don't shut up, you're gonna fuck up my whole plan. 231 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,199 Oh, and--and what is your plan, sir? 232 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,658 Let's just say you're about to look 233 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,328 like the biggest badass in middle school history. 234 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,039 - Now mush. - Whoa, wait. H-how? 235 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,749 I started a credible rumor that you're banging 236 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,000 the hottest teacher in school. 237 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,168 Wait. You what? 238 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,003 Miss Rainy, you are utterly depraved! 239 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,005 - How could you? - Principal Dawkins, 240 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,798 I swear those photos aren't real. 241 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,467 Bennigan, please. Tell the truth. 242 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,594 Of course. The truth is... 243 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,970 That I nailed Ms. Rainy 244 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,181 in ways that would make God cry. 245 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,850 Oh, God. 246 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,268 - Please, no! Please, no! - That is so messed up. 247 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,645 She was my favorite teacher, and now she's a perv. 248 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:41,687 I don't get it. 249 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,022 Why aren't people worshipping you? 250 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,525 You told people that I slept with a teacher. 251 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,109 - That's cool. - That's not cool! 252 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,653 It's a heinous crime! 253 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,696 Poor Miss Rainy. What are they gonna do to her? 254 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:53,115 Hey, hey, hey, hey. All press is good press. 255 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,243 As long as people are talking. 256 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,079 -"Slimm Timm." 257 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,123 W-w-w-w-w-wowy kazowee, 258 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,250 shizbags! 259 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,292 Aye! Aye! 260 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,253 Kamerickle Spurkles with all the latest tea 261 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,296 on the cray and creepy. 262 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,799 Hold onto yer tables and piss on this! 263 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,050 {\an8}Slimm Timm. 264 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:13,427 {\an8}Teens across the world posted stories 265 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,596 of a slender man who roams the globe 266 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:19,100 in search of young hearts to devour. 267 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,226 How the hell don't I know this freak? 268 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,310 It's my whole thing. 269 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,562 The more you believe in him, 270 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,438 the more real he becomes. 271 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,482 A tulpa. Fuck. Of course. 272 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,733 Acolytes will often offer him 273 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,360 their weakest member in exchange 274 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,737 {\an8}for his eternal love and admiration. 275 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,114 {\an8}Don't forget to smash Subscribe 276 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,491 {\an8}for more sick vids and dank memes. 277 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,743 Those bitches are gonna sacrifice Chrissy. 278 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,161 Hey, you, where in this school 279 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,663 do kids go to do dark shit, huh? 280 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,747 Tell me now. Come on. 281 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,416 That depends who you're referring to. 282 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,668 Manga girls read guro under the bleachers. 283 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,045 Then you got the art kids, total smackheads. 284 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,880 Okay, okay. Well, what about the popular girls? 285 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,132 Always something new with them. 286 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,466 Just look at their ShitSta page. 287 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,135 They'll post all their dark shit there. 288 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,428 The fuck is... 289 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,305 Look, if that's some social media bullshit, 290 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,723 there's no way Chrissy has one of those. 291 00:09:58,723 --> 00:09:59,765 Chrissy Feinberg? 292 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,017 Uh, yes, she does. 293 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,144 Her page is growing in numbers as we speak. 294 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,354 Climbing to the top ten student body influencers 295 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,731 in just under three days, and-- 296 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,859 Save it for your podcast, loser, and show me. 297 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,068 She likes free jazz? 298 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,361 Since when? 299 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,655 Hey, guys, sorry I haven't posted in forever. 300 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,824 Laura's been sucking the life out of me. 301 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,743 Can't wait to get out of the hag's prison 302 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,370 and into my happy place, hangin' with my girlies. 303 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,374 Hey, where is this? 304 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,542 The old boiler room. 305 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,960 It's the tragic and haunted site 306 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,420 where they take kids to get bullied. 307 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,172 Nearly 40 years ago, they went too far-- 308 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,674 Oh, my God, I'm gonna turn your ribcage into a lampshade. 309 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,843 Shut up and tell me where the fuck it is. 310 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,720 Look, I want to get popular 311 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,138 and talk some sense into Chrissy 312 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,181 just as much as you do, sir-- 313 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,265 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. 314 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,725 But we can't hurt anyone. Deal? 315 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,143 This idea's harmless. 316 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,519 See those cool kids over there cutting class? 317 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,562 - Yeah. - We're gonna 318 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,105 do one of those viral pranks 319 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,650 that kids love to make you look like a fuckin' stud. 320 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,401 Okay. And we're gonna do this by... 321 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,737 On my signal, a team of Beast Guards 322 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,114 are gonna beat the shit out of that cool kid. 323 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,616 I mean, really decimate the guy. 324 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,327 Then I figure you jump out, strip to your undies, 325 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,829 dive into a kiddie pool of tapioca pudding, 326 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,749 and you will yell "swag" or "kazooie." 327 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,460 Wha--no! H-how is that a prank to you? 328 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,337 Beating someone within an inch of their life? 329 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,755 Holy shit, kid. 330 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,256 You are fuckin' hopeless. 331 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,426 First, it's, "Ew, sex with teachers is a crime." 332 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,136 - It is. - Now you're against pranks. 333 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:22,223 This isn't the '80s, Mr. Satan, sir, okay? 334 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,809 Why can't we just get popular by being, like, a decent person? 335 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,227 All right, you don't wanna listen to me? 336 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,436 Try it. Be decent. 337 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,313 Let's watch you crash and burn, dipshit. 338 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,524 Fine. Respectfully, I will. 339 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,610 What do you want? We're ditching class. 340 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,529 - Beat it. - Hey, I've been there. 341 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,698 Skipping class is just a way to say, 342 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,158 "Hey, I'm so, so scared, 343 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,537 and in my life, this is the one thing I can control." 344 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,372 But Brian, hey. 345 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,290 Look at me, bud. Look at me. 346 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,835 You. Are. Valid. 347 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,256 I'm so afraid of the future. 348 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,717 Sometimes I feel invisible, and this is the only way 349 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,094 - I feel seen. - Shh, shh, shh. I gotcha. 350 00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,847 Ol' Benny Boy Superstar's gotcha. 351 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:07,059 You are the single coolest kid I've ever met. 352 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,185 - Welcome, king. 353 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,687 STUDENT 1: Yeah! No, he is cool. 354 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,647 STUDENT 2: Emotional maturity is the tits. 355 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,525 - Holy shit. - That worked? That worked! 356 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:17,403 I never thought to just talk to the popular people. 357 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,072 Big deal, "kazooie" would've accomplished the same thing, 358 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,323 but with more sex appeal. 359 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,743 Now for phase two. 360 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,828 You ever see someone and think, man, 361 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,621 that looks just like the child version 362 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,165 of somebody I used to nail? 363 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,624 I--I never thought that. 364 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:41,927 Skelli-Trash Bride, hurry up 365 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,513 and sit your sacrificial ass on that pentagram. 366 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,182 You got it... Bish. 367 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,391 You don't call her bish! 368 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,685 Sorry. Sage Dragomire. 369 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,149 I can't believe she chose dungeons and dipshits over me. 370 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,610 And as your principal, I am obligated to speak up 371 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,487 about the latest trend I'm seeing, 372 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,197 worshipping the occult. 373 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,032 You are not "the daughters of the witches 374 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,617 they could not burn," all right? 375 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,243 - You're 12. - Whoo-ey. 376 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,537 Wow, popularity really is a trip. 377 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,914 So what's the plan? 378 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,333 Do I pull Chrissy aside and we do a heart-to-heart 379 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,834 about how, popular or not, 380 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,044 - true friends will-- - No, no. 381 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,129 Get up on stage and read this speech I wrote. 382 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,298 "Friends, as the new popular kid, 383 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,966 "I must warn you about the scourge 384 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,468 "that is Chrissy Feinberg. 385 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:23,969 "Her impression of Charles Barkley 386 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,763 is the most racist thing I've ever seen"? 387 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:26,889 Wait, wait, no. 388 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,349 You want to cancel your own daughter? 389 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,433 It's for her own good. 390 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,601 But what about being kind? 391 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,144 That's how we got cool in the first place. 392 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:35,147 I did opiates with Rasputin. Don't lecture me about "cool." 393 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,982 Now get up there and read the damn speech. 394 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,776 - She'll be a pariah. - Good. 395 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,487 All the more reason for her to ditch the mortal bullshit 396 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:44,156 - and make chaos reign with me. - Wow. 397 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,742 You're so insecure that she has other people in her life 398 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,245 you'd rather she be totally alone. 399 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,413 Which means I make you insecure 400 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,998 because I have a real connection with her, 401 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,583 - and you don't. - You little fuckin'... 402 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,626 All right, all right. Look. 403 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:56,961 I'm not gonna mince words here. 404 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,337 Read the speech, or I'll murder 405 00:13:58,337 --> 00:13:59,547 - your whole family. 406 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:00,840 Hey, everybody. 407 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,175 The new cool kid Bennigan should give a speech. 408 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,135 - Speech! Speech! 409 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,471 Oh, Slimm Timm, hear my plea. 410 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,182 We call you forth as witches three. 411 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,309 With tainted blood, we sacrifice, 412 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,770 to hear your call as cold as ice. 413 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,939 Please accept this mortal coil, 414 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,149 bone to dust, and soul to soil. 415 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,862 Deus mar varicht. Deus mar varicht. 416 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,281 Ugh! God, these girls are amateurs. 417 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,283 Deus mar varicht. 418 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,662 Oh, shit, it's working. 419 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:43,007 Yippee-ki-yi-yay... 420 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,385 Here I come. Here comes Slimm Timm. 421 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,429 Tumm Timmy Tumm. 422 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,351 I can growl too, bitch. 423 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:23,964 - Whoa! Hey. 424 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:25,049 Hey, guys. 425 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,051 Crazy seeing you all round here. 426 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,844 Got lost looking for the bathroom. 427 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,012 Whazzup? 428 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,264 What the-- where is he, Chrissy? 429 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,390 It didn't work. 430 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,476 We rehearsed your fake sacrifice all week. 431 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,810 - Fake? - You said 432 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,604 your Wiccan tools could help us summon Slimm Timm 433 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,230 so we could finally hold him accountable 434 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,107 for all those young girls he preyed on. 435 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,484 I know, I'm sorry. 436 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,069 I-I used my powers to make me look half-dead. 437 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,445 It should have lured him to me. 438 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,948 The only thing it lured was that toxic new girl. 439 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,199 What a waste. 440 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,826 See you never, Chrissy. 441 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:53,994 Hey. 442 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,704 So Arabella ditched you, huh? 443 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,331 I guess she really sucks. 444 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,499 Sorry, who are you? 445 00:15:58,499 --> 00:15:59,875 Abigail, from earlier? 446 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,585 I just wanna be alone right now. 447 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:02,962 And I'm the one that sucks. 448 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,088 I screwed up. 449 00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,130 That's not true. 450 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,298 Plus, who cares what they think? 451 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,384 I thought I raised you--I... 452 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:11,387 I thought you'd be cooler than trying to impress bullies. 453 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,680 Maybe this sounds stupid, 454 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,598 but I moved around so much growing up 455 00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,934 that I never had girlfriends my own age. 456 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,435 So I guess when they noticed me, 457 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:22,189 it felt like it might be my only chance to have friends. 458 00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:23,857 See ya. 459 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,070 I really am a fuckin' hag. 460 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,991 Store-bought cloves? Come on. 461 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,159 No one even bothers to forage their own shit anymore. 462 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,369 Bunch of posers. 463 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,787 It's like, are we trying to be real witches 464 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,913 or make a fucking pie? 465 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:39,999 Hmm? 466 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,753 Oh, fuck. 467 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,505 Where the hell'd he go? 468 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,424 Fuck. Fuck. Chrissy! 469 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,553 Uh... what's up, guys? 470 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,762 - We love you, Bennigan! 471 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:57,474 Hmm. I...I just, uh... wanted to say... 472 00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,559 Stay on the script, you-- 473 00:16:58,559 --> 00:16:59,768 I...I... 474 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,853 Think about your mother. 475 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,062 Think about your father. 476 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,439 I'm gonna kill your family. 477 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,982 - I can't do it. - Ah! 478 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:07,276 - Can't do what? - I've had a crazy 48. 479 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,820 I used to think I was a pretty good person, 480 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,614 that I used to be someone who cared about his friends. 481 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,700 I was ready to throw that all away. 482 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,326 Well, I'm done being a pushover. 483 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,203 I'm done lying. 484 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,831 STUDENT 1: You just revealed an armadillo. 485 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,791 STUDENT 2: Yeah, that doesn't mean anything to us. 486 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,376 I'm done taking orders from you. 487 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,336 I'd rather Chrissy blow me off until the end of time 488 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,588 than say those mean things. 489 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,256 Ha! What are you gonna do, twerp? 490 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:31,425 You're still the same nerdy bitch, Bennigan. 491 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:32,801 Oh, yeah? Well, you forgot 492 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,553 the most important part of being a nerd. 493 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,430 What's that? 494 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,432 Always carry a writing utensil. 495 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,270 - STUDENT 3: Armadillo murderer! 496 00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,813 - STUDENT 4: Not cool! 497 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,399 Wait, no, no, no. I can explain. 498 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,860 That Armadillo did a Charles Barkley impression, 499 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,862 and it's the most racist thing I've ever seen. 500 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,322 - STUDENT 5: Hell yeah! - STUDENT 6: Very cool! 501 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,698 STUDENT 7: That's my Bennigan! 502 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,991 We should get Sasquatch next. 503 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,868 I've never seen him wear pants. 504 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,385 OMG! 505 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,512 I totally just screamed. 506 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,721 It's Slimm Timm. 507 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,056 I thought it was Pete Davidson. 508 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,602 - Run! - Strong women don't avoid 509 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,270 tough challenges, Skelli-Trash. 510 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,480 Get in formation, girls. 511 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,732 It's time to hold him accountable. 512 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,610 Whatever. Hey, Slimm Timm, over here! 513 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,986 - It's me you want. - Slimm Timm? 514 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,279 More like Dimm Timm. 515 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,532 You're an ageless being who exploits tweens. 516 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,033 Literally grow up. 517 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,409 Piggybacking off that, Slimm Timm, 518 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,161 have you ever heard of toxic parasocial 519 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,496 sexual power dynamics? 520 00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:54,383 Now you die. 521 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,593 - Enough talk. 522 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,928 Time to take action. 523 00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,179 Can someone please help? 524 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,848 This is a contemplative think piece 525 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:01,974 for Vulture 526 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,559 that not only enumerates your crimes, 527 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,727 but puts the media on trial for their complicit-- 528 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,980 - Whoa, nice hit. 529 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,273 If we somehow survive this, 530 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,649 I'm gonna be a social pariah. 531 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:13,068 When I was your age, I had the same fears. 532 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,278 But if you're true to yourself, 533 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,779 the right friends will come along. 534 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,322 Wait, aren't we both 13? 535 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:18,949 Uh, no. I'm 14. 536 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,869 I shall devour you all. 537 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,454 Hey. No heavy petting. 538 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:29,835 Mortal tools cannot kill Slimm Timm. 539 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,795 Wait. Y'all manifested him, right? 540 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,839 It's like that Stephen King miniseries. 541 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,215 Just stop believing in him. 542 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,300 I don't believe. I don't believe. 543 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,426 Ahh, I fucked up! 544 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:38,594 He's not Tinker Bell. 545 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:39,845 The only way to destroy him... 546 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,763 Is with the tool that summoned him. 547 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,056 Was about to say that. 548 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,141 Shit. Shit! 549 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,517 What the phrase? What was it? 550 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,145 Um, "revi", or, uh, "rembi--" 551 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,773 - Reverterte. - Reverterte unde venisti. 552 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,496 That was fucking awesome. 553 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,707 Accountability does not equal violence. 554 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,042 Not cool, Chrissy. 555 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,336 In some ways, you're worse than Slimm Timm. 556 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,462 You're welcome. 557 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,464 You, uh... you okay? 558 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,590 I'm fine. 559 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,175 Except I nearly got us both killed 560 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,010 so I could have somewhere to sit at lunch. 561 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,094 You think that's bad? 562 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,596 At Matt Levy's bar mitzvah, 563 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,431 I once drank my own pee on a dare. 564 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,769 Hey, um, have you ever been to Jake's Pizza? 565 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,187 They have the best breadsticks. 566 00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,688 We should, uh, go sometime. 567 00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,023 Yeah, that would be... 568 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,234 - Oh, shit. 569 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,860 - Where are you going? - I forgot! 570 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:38,362 I'm, uh, babysitting tonight. 571 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:39,988 And every night! I'm a teen mom! 572 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,323 Don't look for me. 573 00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:42,950 Bye. 574 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,910 Damn, she's fast. 575 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,545 Oh, wow, I feel like I've been asleep for 6,000 years. 576 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,464 I feel fucking great. 577 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,720 Hey, Bennigan, way to hold that racist accountable. 578 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,640 Bennigan, yo. Yeesh. You okay? 579 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,558 Yeah. Long story. You? 580 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,018 Yeah, same. 581 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:13,689 Hey, so, uh, normally I wouldn't say anything, 582 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,899 but you blew me off all last week, 583 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,734 and that wasn't cool. 584 00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:21,071 I'm sorry. I just got so caught up 585 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,198 - in being popular and-- - No, I get it. 586 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,741 You're trying so hard to become popular 587 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:25,867 that before you know it, 588 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,035 you're slaughtering an armadillo 589 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,121 in front of a group of your peers. 590 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,372 Huh. 591 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,707 I know we couldn't go earlier, 592 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,418 so I managed to sneak your favorite. 593 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:37,629 The Macho Man Candy Savage flavor? 594 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,589 Ooh, yeah. 595 00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,560 Bennigan wrecked my shit. 596 00:21:53,061 --> 00:21:55,439 {\an8}What, so Chrissy could ice me out of Armageddon? 597 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:56,481 Pass. 598 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,150 That weirdo cares more about her 599 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,152 than I realized. 600 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,821 That might be, as the kids say... 601 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,531 problematic. 602 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,254 Look, before you can say anything, I'm sorry. 603 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:21,548 You were right. Those girls were just trouble. 604 00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:23,258 We could spend the weekend 605 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,093 skinning that deer like you wanted. 606 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,179 Eh, you should be with your friends, you know? 607 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,388 Go see a movie with Bennigan 608 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,474 or get breadsticks from Jake's Pizza. 609 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,559 Does this mean I'm not grounded? 610 00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:34,394 Get out of here before I change my mind. 611 00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:36,188 Oh, my gosh. Thanks, Mom. 612 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,231 I'll be back later. 613 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,443 At least we still have each o... 614 00:22:42,235 --> 00:22:43,195 Whatever. 615 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,738 "Hey, Erwin, how was your whole 616 00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:47,532 heartwarming comeback saga with your rec softball league?" 617 00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:49,409 "Good, thanks for asking." 618 00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:50,452 Dick. 619 00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:20,190 Captioned by Captionmax