1 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:13,638 {\an8}Divina virtute, in infernum detrude! 2 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:18,184 Divina virtute, in infernum detrude! 3 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,103 Oh, God, please save our boy! 4 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,397 Cunning serpent, you shall no more 5 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,607 - dare deceive-- - Dare deceive the human race. 6 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,693 Boring me over here, Father Cleare. 7 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,739 Get out of him, you son of a bitch! 8 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,073 Now! 9 00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,243 Daddy? 10 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,373 Aw, that's actually kind of sweet. 11 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,170 Well, that's it, possession 101. 12 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,130 - Okay, you ready? - I think so. 13 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,590 When I'm inside, which button do I press 14 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,966 to make him kiss the priest? 15 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,177 Just visualize yourself going into him, 16 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,429 then bend your knees, clench your butt cheeks, 17 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,556 open your mouth, and whoosh. 18 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,640 Go on. You got this. 19 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,684 All right. Let's rock this possesh! 20 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,061 Get inside that little boy. 21 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,236 We can start over. 22 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,697 We can forgive? 23 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,994 Hello? Is--can anyone hear me? 24 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,746 Oh, I'm doing it. 25 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,331 Pee pee poo poo. 26 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:22,957 - The serpent has returned! 27 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,584 I'll kill you, you bastard! 28 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:25,960 Okay, bye! 29 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,212 MR. LALISH: You little motherfucker! 30 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,630 - Die, you piece of shit! - Ow! Daddy, stop. 31 00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,719 The um-- the demon must be in me now. 32 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,558 Whoo! That kid smelled like a garbage truck, 33 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:41,893 but I loved it. 34 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,771 It takes demons years to mimic a human's voice. 35 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,356 You did it on your first try. 36 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:47,816 I want to possess a baby horse 37 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:48,983 when it's being birthed. 38 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,151 - You could. - Or a movie star 39 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,694 - and do a car chase scene. - Why not? 40 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,279 Or a sex scene with Regé-Jean Page. 41 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:54,739 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 42 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:58,118 I know this shit's a rush, but you gotta pace yourself. 43 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,411 Come on, let's go home. 44 00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,789 - Step on me. - Okay. 45 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,671 - You go, girl! 46 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,089 Thank you, thank you. You're too much. 47 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,507 She's a natural. 48 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,051 Aw, come on. 49 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,011 Custody weekend's over already? 50 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,888 Awesome time as always, Daddy-o. 51 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,933 And next time, I'll teach you how to turn stuff into spiders. 52 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,309 Pregnant spiders! 53 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,602 - BEAST 1: Bye, human girl. - BEAST 2: Bye. Goodbye, now. 54 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,729 Couple more visitations with my girl, 55 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,607 and she'll be begging to ditch her mom to live with me. 56 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,443 Then zip, zap, zop, I'll be back on top, baby. 57 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,363 - Let's get this party started. 58 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,408 - - Oh, shit. 59 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,326 Thought it was gonna be balloons. 60 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,911 Well, don't let the weapons go to waste. 61 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,621 Start killing each other. 62 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,673 {\an8}Hey, tell the foreman if his son looks at me again, 63 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,383 {\an8}I will shoot him with my nail gun. 64 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,552 {\an8}When I yell fart, you yell face! 65 00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,138 {\an8}- Fart! - Face! 66 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,849 - Pee pee poo poo. - Now, this is content. 67 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,892 {\an8}- Okay? Looks great. - Ugh, God. 68 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,101 {\an8}- See you tomorrow, Bill. - It's fun! 69 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,187 {\an8}Christina! Dinner! Now! 70 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,480 {\an8}Well, someone's extra vinegary today. 71 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:10,982 {\an8}I control your bowel movements, Erwin. 72 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,817 {\an8}- Keep making that fucking salad. - Ooh. 73 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,277 {\an8}Chrissy's weekend with her father 74 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,528 {\an8}is getting to you, I see. 75 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,863 Look what he's got her doing. 76 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,990 I-it's devil in The Exorcist shit. 77 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,326 He's turning my daughter into an evil cliché. 78 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,744 {\an8}And you're turning into a cliché 79 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,245 {\an8}- of a jealous ex. - Chrissy! 80 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,914 {\an8}- I will not say it again! - 81 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,624 {\an8}Get back in your vacant corpse now! 82 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,460 {\an8}Hey, Laur, don't you just love it? 83 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,004 Whoo! Makes you work up a sweat. 84 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,964 {\an8}I might go for a jog as a deer later. 85 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,966 {\an8}Animals are more difficult, but Dad says I'm a natural. 86 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,301 {\an8}- You look thirsty. - Congrats, honey. 87 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,011 {\an8}Soon you'll be butchering the clergy. 88 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,846 {\an8}Just because I'm having fun with Dad doesn't mean 89 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,598 {\an8}you have to lash out. Don't be jelly. 90 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,058 {\an8}I'm looking out, honey. 91 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,434 {\an8}I know your dad's endgame-- 92 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,436 {\an8}to win you over so he can use your power 93 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,271 {\an8}to turn the universe into his hellscape. 94 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:53,441 {\an8}Duh. What you don't get is I'm actually using him. 95 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,109 {\an8}I know exactly what I'm doing. 96 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,945 {\an8}Oh, Jesus Christ, Chrissy. No, you don't. 97 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,529 {\an8}You have evil in your DNA. 98 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,156 {\an8}Hey, come on, you're not that bad. 99 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,033 {\an8} You keep doing what you're doing, 100 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,326 that evil will spread in you 101 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,245 {\an8}and the normal life you said you wanted-- 102 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,705 {\an8}friends, school, homecoming, sleepovers--gone. 103 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,416 {\an8}You'll be a soulless shell of a human and become-- 104 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,711 {\an8}honestly, like, a successful CEO in all likelihood. 105 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:14,837 {\an8}So, what, I should just suppress 106 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,214 {\an8}an entire side of myself? 107 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,341 You're not Billy Elliot. You're the Antichrist. 108 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,425 {\an8}Don't suppress. 109 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,552 {\an8}Be more conscious of your choices. 110 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,055 {\an8}Maybe use your powers to do some good. 111 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,516 I just wanted to make the mailman fart! 112 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,228 That went well. 113 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,063 No tests today. 114 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,356 And if you see Chrissy, 115 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,108 tell her that she has a really cool, 116 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,859 normal-sized forehead. 117 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,528 That's what I want. 118 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,322 And, uh, pee pee poo poo. 119 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,991 "Pee pee poo poo" is my catchphrase. 120 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,826 That could be our generation's "Got Milk?" 121 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,578 So what's it feel like being in someone? 122 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:48,830 Each body's different. 123 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,457 Right now it's acid reflux and a deep longing 124 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,167 for someone named Pablo. 125 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,003 - Mm. - Hmm. 126 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,755 Like, how is this evil, you know? 127 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,550 Don't you think it's shady 128 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,260 to secretly enter people's bodies 129 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,553 without their consent? 130 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,263 No, I'm just entering them real quick. 131 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,556 - Right, sure-- - I mean, 132 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,100 I'm just having fun with people inside them. 133 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,186 No--well, it's not like they'll remember it. 134 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,813 Oh, God, I feel like an asshole. 135 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,023 So what should I do? 136 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,733 Should I stop using possession all together? 137 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,276 Or, ugh, maybe my mom has a point 138 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,569 about using it for good? 139 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,029 I mean, if you're possessing people 140 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,196 for moral reasons, 141 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,906 like to help them make better choices, 142 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,158 - that would be-- - Then I can possess my cake 143 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,284 and eat it too. 144 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,994 Can you actually possess a cake? 145 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,246 Don't you fucking touch that! 146 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,540 No gluten-free options? You're a fascist. 147 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,792 I'll rip out your heart and make you eat it. 148 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,003 - STUDENT 1: Oh, shit. Oh, no! - STUDENT 2: Yeah, get him! 149 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,588 - Ooh. 150 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,298 It was always gonna end this way. 151 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:41,424 Now's your chance. 152 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,592 Get that cake! 153 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,635 Fight! Fight! Fight! 154 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:45,928 Wait, wait, wait! 155 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,597 Uh, I, uh-- 156 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,390 I-I-I don't dislike your cooking. 157 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,934 It's me that I dislike. 158 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,604 - - Way past that point, asshole. 159 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,938 What the fuck just happened? 160 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,523 I-I'm sorry for taking 161 00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,233 your criticism personally. 162 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,985 This is all I have in my life. 163 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,154 - I love you. - Aw. 164 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,280 What the fu-- 165 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,573 Yes, and I love you too. 166 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,408 Ew. 167 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:11,537 Yes, and, uh, I'm your mother. 168 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,414 Yes, and now everything makes sense. 169 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,708 Let's never fight again, Mommy. 170 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:16,918 Oh, okay. 171 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,212 - Pee pee-- - Poo poo. 172 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,464 What the fuck is wrong with everybody here? 173 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,800 Holy shit. That actually felt great. 174 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,385 You're kind of like a superhero. 175 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:29,097 Nah, I'm just your friendly, neighborhood Antichrist. 176 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,307 Come back here. I want to chop you up. 177 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,017 - You'll never catch me! - Okay, Snake with Arms, 178 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,936 any word yet from Jerrup and The Cootie Realm 179 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,104 swearing fealty to me? 180 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,563 {\an8} Nope. Nothing yet. 181 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:38,773 Are you shittin' me? 182 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,108 I'm about to bring the hammer down 183 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,275 on time and space, 184 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,652 and they're dragging their feet 185 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:43,903 on kissing my ass? 186 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:44,987 All right. 187 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,407 Let's head over there and boil their firstborns alive. 188 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,545 Ta-da! 189 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,587 Hi. 190 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,464 Look who's here. Asmodeus. 191 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,175 Yes! The Grand Demon of Possessión. 192 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,802 Dark Lord of Ulrich. 193 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,138 - King of all the-- - King douche of Crapstown. 194 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,014 Population, you. 195 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,641 - Roasted. 196 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:14,934 This guy used to work for me. 197 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,061 Uh, I possessed hundreds of thousands of humans 198 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,397 in service of him, okay, 199 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,899 inciting a myriad of fratricides, holocausts-- 200 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,192 Why are you here, Azzy? 201 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,027 You need some cash? I'm flat out. 202 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:28,364 Last eve whilst soul-hopping on the corporeal plane, 203 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,907 what did I behold? 204 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,661 Satan educating his demon semen in the art of possessión. 205 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:37,081 Thus here I am to make good on our deal. 206 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,374 I got lots of deals going on. 207 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,750 What deal are we talking about? 208 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,545 Our contract stated that once the Antichrist arrives, 209 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,298 I would be at the helm of Maximus Dawnus with you 210 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,008 in exchange for everything in my name. 211 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,759 And so I relinquished to you 212 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:52,138 my wife, my land, my thousands of children. 213 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:56,100 Now the Antichrist has arrived. 214 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,811 Oh, yeah. That contract wasn't real. 215 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,771 - Mm. What? - I made it all up. 216 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:01,856 Pretty good, eh? 217 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,191 Well, but my lawyer was present. 218 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,525 - You mean this lawyer? - Ay. 219 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,069 Rhett, there you are. Satan here is trying-- 220 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,613 I created him. 221 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,780 Wh-what? 222 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,491 But I knew him for thousands of years. 223 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,658 We wrote a series 224 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,118 of best-selling mystery novels together. 225 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,661 Yeah, it's called a long con. 226 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,039 - I gave you my family. - And I got rid of them. 227 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,374 If I had to hear one more boring story 228 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,752 from that yak farmer you call a wife-- 229 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,171 We were to ride the ashen skies 230 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,923 and rule the realms together. 231 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,591 There was never a "we." 232 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,093 I will be with my daughter, you dumb fuck. 233 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,972 Aw, I'm a bad widdle boy. 234 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,058 Unhand me, you cretin. 235 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,936 I'll get my revenge, Satan. You'll see! 236 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,813 You'll all--aah! 237 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,357 Now, let's go boil the babies 238 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,650 while their heads are still soft. 239 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,363 We're through, Jason. 240 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,281 I'm a person, not an appendage. 241 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,783 - STUDENT 1: Yeah, Camry. - STUDENT 2: Good for you, girl. 242 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:54,825 STUDENT 3: That's what I'm talking about. 243 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,035 I'm an ally. 244 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,995 Let's go unionize the guidance counselors. 245 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,122 I'm late for band, but maybe I can come over 246 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,707 after my family bike ride after school 247 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,251 and we can help people around town? 248 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,503 Like community service? 249 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,588 Oh, my God, I'm in! 250 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,883 If I wanted to hear about your problems, Sharon, 251 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,052 I would have became a therapist, not a librarian. 252 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,637 One more helping won't hurt. 253 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,224 Just kidding. I'm all ears. 254 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,226 Lunch is on me. 255 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,728 Let's kick this hero shit in high gear. 256 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:26,274 ♪ Anytime day or night ♪ 257 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:29,360 ♪ You get a little uptight ♪ 258 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,905 ♪ And you need a little lovin' ♪ 259 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:36,325 ♪ To make it all right ♪ 260 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:40,454 ♪ Just a phone call has got me running ♪ 261 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:44,500 ♪ Honey, hold on, 'cause I'm coming ♪ 262 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,502 ♪ To give you what you need ♪ 263 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,670 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 264 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,797 Whoa. Whoo-hoo! 265 00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,841 ♪ 'Cause love's on the way ♪ 266 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,676 ♪ And I'm coming ♪ 267 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:54,802 Hello, Middletown. 268 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,137 I am here to help. 269 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,888 Pee pee poo poo, y'all! 270 00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:03,728 ♪ Anywhere near or far ♪ 271 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,197 Bonjour, Antichrist. 272 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,825 Now, let's find the gates of Tartarus 273 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:21,954 and begin Maximus Dawnus on our own. 274 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,175 God damn it. 275 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,637 Chrissy, come on. 276 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:41,641 If Tawnee's mom honks again, I will make Tawnee an orphan. 277 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,646 Look, I'm sorry I was harsh before. 278 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,397 It is my job to look out for you. 279 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,650 And yeah, sometimes I can be a bit hyperbolic. 280 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,027 But no harm, no foul, 281 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,780 and I'm good to move on if you are. 282 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,657 - Yes. - Really? 283 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,409 Yes. 284 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,619 I love you, honey. 285 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:04,121 And I love you, Mommy. 286 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,248 There's a demon inside my daughter, 287 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,167 and I know it's that shitstain's fault. 288 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,669 So when he gets back, why don't you tell him 289 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,004 he's lost visitation rights to everything but my katana? 290 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,507 Don't mean to interrupt, 291 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,884 but evil Chrissy just caught a bird and ate it. 292 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,011 Single motherhood is tough, ain't it? 293 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,431 Blast these inferior human tools. 294 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,016 We gotta get this demon out of Chrissy 295 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,434 before it does harm to her body. 296 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,645 And then I need to find her soul, wherever that is. 297 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,105 Oh, we're gonna hustle the demon. 298 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,357 A little Color of Money game. I like it. 299 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,900 This is a Soul Stang, Darlene. 300 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,402 It knocks souls out of bodies 301 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,696 with the speed and strength of a Shinkansen bullet train. 302 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,280 I push, you catch. 303 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,907 Ooh, just like at my sister's home birth. 304 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,867 For the record, I only dropped the baby 305 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,536 because the blood made her so slippery. 306 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,787 Caught the placenta, though. 307 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,541 The jar is charged with a binding spell. 308 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,084 So once the demon is in the lizard-- 309 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,919 - Hello, Mommy. - 310 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,088 Hello, my wonderful daughter. 311 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:56,298 Can we drive to these coordinates? 312 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,634 Funch's Diner in Kalamazoo, Michigan? 313 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,177 It's not where the gates of Tartarus 314 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,429 are located or anything. 315 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,596 It's... 316 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,765 For Earth history project. 317 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,559 We sure can, darling. 318 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,352 Better go put your head in that bucket of water 319 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,479 for 30 seconds, because as we both know, 320 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:14,150 that's what human girls do before a road trip! 321 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,278 Yes. We both know this very well. 322 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:30,583 Yello. 323 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,380 I can just come back in ten, if-- 324 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,965 - Stay back! 325 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,010 Oh, whoops. 326 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,349 Very clever, Chère-Mere. 327 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,769 It appears the jig that was once down... 328 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,312 Is now up. 329 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,189 What did you do with my daughter's soul? 330 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,681 Hello? Who am I in? 331 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,266 Oh, are you kidding me? 332 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,935 I could squat all day with these knees. 333 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,312 Uh, this feels problematic. 334 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,647 Hey, please be careful with my body. 335 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,232 I'm more flexible than I am strong. 336 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,858 A dangerous combination. 337 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,735 You know what would have been good for the ride home? 338 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:40,820 Burgers. 339 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,904 Oh, it would have been yum yum. 340 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,030 What now, buzzkill? 341 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:45,491 She-Beast call. Asmodeus possess daughter. 342 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,701 That sick bastard. 343 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,412 Looks like Daddy's gotta save his girl. 344 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,665 Ew, I got this weird feeling. 345 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,543 What is that? Concern? 346 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,420 Think I need to take a shit. 347 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,256 And so I, Mr. Robber, 348 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,258 have learned the error of my ways. 349 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,260 Uh, thank--thank you? 350 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,722 Whoo, I'm about to possess 351 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,391 the hell out of my bed. 352 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,309 Good work. Time to go home. 353 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,563 I am upset! 354 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,523 I'm coming, my children. 355 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,942 - We need answers, Mayor. - Do something. 356 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,193 Come on, everyone. 357 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:25,030 You didn't elect me to "answer your questions." 358 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,782 Friends, compatriots. 359 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,201 Talk to me. Tell me what ails you. 360 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,828 Today I was minding my business, 361 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,247 when all of a sudden I helped my disabled neighbor, Craig, 362 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,582 get his cat out of a tree. 363 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,000 I remember you! 364 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,502 Uh, the mayor remembers everyone. 365 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,713 - What a kind deed. - Kind, my ass. 366 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,964 I would never do that for Craig. 367 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,132 He slept with my wife. 368 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,383 - - Oh. 369 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,926 I'm sure Craig saw your kindness 370 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,845 and was inspired to be a better man. 371 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,096 Uh, Craig here. Yeah, I saw it 372 00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,806 as acceptance of me sleeping with his wife, 373 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,808 - so I slept with her again. - Okay, sir, 374 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,351 that doesn't add up at all. 375 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,186 I threw my trash in the garbage. 376 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,605 I would never do that. 377 00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,899 That's what Big Trash wants us to do. 378 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,610 Space aliens must have put chips in us. 379 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,069 - We're in The Matrix. - Birds are manipulating 380 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,154 - our thoughts. - I can't remember 381 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,405 why I'm upset. 382 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:09,283 Stop it! 383 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,243 I helped you all to make better choices, 384 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,454 become better yous, and this is how you act? 385 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,414 Don't you see you're all just scared of change? 386 00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,832 Suck my ass! 387 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,792 Suck my ass, you ungrateful turds! 388 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,377 None of you deserved my help. 389 00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:21,503 It's him. 390 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,671 The government's controlling us. 391 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,714 Down with the mayor! 392 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,132 PERSON 1: Hey, let's beat him up. 393 00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,134 - PERSON 2: Beat him up! - Down with the mayor! 394 00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:28,427 I'm naked. 395 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,387 Aah! 396 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:33,474 Not down with the mayor! 397 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,225 Whoa, what's happening? 398 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,685 Hey, let's beat him up! 399 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,853 Beat him up! 400 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,229 Don't beat him up! 401 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,398 I got this truck stacked with wicker chairs. 402 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,733 Let's burn him alive! 403 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,197 Ooh, driving without my lumbar pillow 404 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,074 and I still feel great. 405 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,701 Chrissy? Chrissy? 406 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,119 Is that you? Oh, fuck you. 407 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,413 Miss Feinberg, can we please switch back soon? 408 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,916 I feel weird being inside your daughter. 409 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,125 Hands where I can see them. 410 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,627 Oh, God, no. I didn't mean that. 411 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,462 This would all be easier, dickhead, if you told me 412 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,755 where you left my daughter's soul. 413 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,215 If you unhand me now, 414 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,300 I shall spare you when I reinhabit your daughter 415 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,970 and carry out Maximus Dawnus on my own. 416 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:15,099 And I will be the ultimate ruler! 417 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:18,018 And Satan, the prick, will be ultimate drooler. 418 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,270 Hey, Laur, this guy's got beef with Satan too. 419 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,814 You should get some margs and talk it out. 420 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,983 - Aah! 421 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,109 Plug up your brain holes. 422 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,987 The mayor's trying to get in there. 423 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,613 Where the fuck did you come from? 424 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,617 Guys, please stop. 425 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,452 Ooh, what is this? A flash mob? 426 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,663 - I'm into it. - What the fuck is this? 427 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,206 Your daughter. 428 00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,041 That-that doesn't make any sense. 429 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,002 Oh, it's soul mitosis. 430 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,712 Her soul's overexerted from splitting 431 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,130 into too many host bodies. 432 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,548 She's lost control. 433 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,634 And soon her soul will be spread so thin, 434 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:53,095 she'll be lost forever. 435 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,025 This is all her father's fault. 436 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,526 If he didn't push her like he always does-- 437 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:10,237 Um, Miss Feinberg, from your suggestion, 438 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,114 she used her powers for good. 439 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:15,242 Looks like she got a little carried away? 440 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,077 So what--ugh! 441 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,039 Get your trash soul 442 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,290 out of my daughter, Azzy. 443 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,167 Satan? You idiot. 444 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,002 That wasn't Azzy. That was Bennigan. 445 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,212 And now you got me into this soul-swapping horseshit. 446 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,380 What the hell is a Bennigan? 447 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:29,715 A good friend of your daughter's, 448 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,050 Mr. Chrissy's dad. She didn't mention me? 449 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,135 - That's fine. - That's Azzy in my body. 450 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,928 I'm Darlene in Bennigan's body. 451 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,764 Oh, I'm not Azzy. That's Azzy. 452 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,557 - The fuck? - Wait, now I'm confused. 453 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:39,933 Everybody shut up. 454 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,393 I'm sick of this Freaky Friday bull-- 455 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,146 That fixes it. 456 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,230 What the hell did you do? 457 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,315 Azzy ran off with Chrissy. 458 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,441 I don't know who's who. 459 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,568 I'm going after her soul. You get her body. 460 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:50,903 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Calm down. 461 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,113 How's it feel? Not bad, huh? 462 00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,449 I feel a little like Beyoncé, 463 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,493 but also a little incontinent. 464 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,953 Welcome to the duality of me, little buddy. 465 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,538 Chrissy? 466 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,165 Mom? 467 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,126 Yes, sweetie. I'm here. 468 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,003 Mom, you were right. 469 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,922 Even when I try to do good, it turns bad. 470 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,507 - I'm evil. - No, Chrissy. 471 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,801 I shouldn't have said you'd turn evil. 472 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,762 I've just felt overwhelmed by your dad being in your life, 473 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:19,098 so I tried to control you, and I messed up. 474 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,808 Mom! 475 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:23,143 Something's wrong. 476 00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:25,729 Huh? 477 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,606 - Where am I? - How did I get here? 478 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:30,359 Chrissy? Chrissy, answer me! 479 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,736 Chrissy, you are still inside of these people. 480 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,279 You need to get out now. 481 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,865 She's in cahoots with the spirits controlling us. 482 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,283 - Kill her! - She's a witch! 483 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,869 Well, yeah, technically, but not in the way you mean. 484 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:45,040 Witch! Witch! 485 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,000 Now, Delaware Transit Conglomerate, 486 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,627 show me the route to the Kalamazoo 487 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,088 and the gates of Tartarus! 488 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:54,133 Take Route 301, straight up your ass. 489 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,843 Satan, ha-ha! 490 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:58,428 Today is the day you'll rue taking everything from me. 491 00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,264 I don't rue shit. 492 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,057 Get out of my daughter, you bum. 493 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,019 Aah! 494 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,521 - En garde. 495 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,696 I'll do it, man! 496 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,156 - Whoa. - I swear I'll do it. 497 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,949 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Oh, I'll do it. 498 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,284 - Azzy, Azzy. 499 00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,161 Put the gun down. 500 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,413 This isn't about her. It's about us. 501 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,623 I-I know I made mistakes, Azzy. 502 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,083 I shouldn't have made that deal with you 503 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,169 unless I intended to follow through on it. 504 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,172 I get now what you sacrificed. 505 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,800 Family, it's the one thing that matters. 506 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,010 Oh. 507 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,387 But I have a family 508 00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,139 and you don't anymore. 509 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,224 What? No! 510 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,772 Being a dad sure is something. 511 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,692 Guess it was concern and taking a shit. 512 00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,319 Ugh, this is the one way 513 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,862 I didn't want to die. 514 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,114 Chrissy, there's nothing I'd love more 515 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,365 than to murder all these people, 516 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,992 but I know you're still in there. 517 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,536 You need to fight! 518 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,580 You can't be gone. No! 519 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,165 You can't be! 520 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,291 You are not gone. 521 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,795 Pee pee poo poo. 522 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,005 Oh. 523 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:17,883 - Pee pee poo poo. - Pee pee poo poo. 524 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,676 Pee pee poo poo. 525 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,970 Pee pee poo poo! 526 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,848 - Pee pee poo poo, yeah. - Pee pee poo poo. 527 00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,183 That's it, baby, come on. 528 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,267 Pee pee poo poo. 529 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:29,853 Come on, baby. Pee pee poo poo. 530 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:33,148 - Pee pee poo poo! 531 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,533 Looking for this sack of skin? 532 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,953 Blammo! 533 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,579 - Mom? - Chrissy! 534 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,081 - There's my girl. - You're okay. 535 00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,501 Oh, God, what did I do? 536 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,835 I really lost myself. 537 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,545 Aw, don't be so hard on yourself. 538 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:56,964 I've done that plenty of times. 539 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,590 You had your first soul binge. 540 00:20:58,674 --> 00:20:59,841 And she's had her last. 541 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,593 She doesn't need your emotional support. 542 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,428 I've been doing this alone for 13 years. 543 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:04,721 Oh, wait, so you're a single mom? 544 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,306 - Yeah, I am. - Can we-- 545 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,849 - can we just go home? - And y-you know what? 546 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,726 Just get everyone back in their bodies, okay? 547 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,019 I-I can't take a second more 548 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,105 of this fucking soul-swapping bullshit. 549 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,856 So we're square, right? 550 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,984 Dinner in two weeks at my favorite spot, 551 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:18,860 The Ground Round. 552 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,445 I'm buying. 553 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,572 Aw, I'll miss you, my little friend. 554 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,658 And I you, me. 555 00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:30,914 So an entire store for just wicker furniture. 556 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:32,708 How are they even in business? 557 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,751 It's gotta be a drug front. 558 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:37,629 Hey, you're not still beating yourself up, are you? 559 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,299 What? No. Mom, I'm good. 560 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,217 This is all part of growing up. 561 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,636 And I'm proud of you for trying to do the right thing. 562 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,680 So now you know what not to do, right? 563 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,682 Yeah, yeah. You live and you learn. 564 00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:51,685 I get it. Seriously, I'm totally okay. 565 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,271 All right, then. Coolio. 566 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:55,856 Hey, I was thinking, 567 00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:57,941 maybe you should join a club at school. 568 00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,651 You know? Or maybe start one. 569 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,987 Something for charity? 570 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:04,448 Or--or a recycling club? 571 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:06,033 I don't know, it just-- it might be nice 572 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:09,077 for you to do some real good. 573 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,370 Yeah? 574 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:48,742 Captioned by Captionmax