1
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,307
So, my dad cleaned out
our bomb shelter,

2
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:10,679
and he sent me
my favorite doll.

3
00:00:10,681 --> 00:00:13,081
"Military Mary:
super soldier by day...

4
00:00:13,644 --> 00:00:14,654
(GASPS)

5
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,146
"...fairy princess
by night!"

6
00:00:18,149 --> 00:00:19,549
(HUMS EXCITEDLY)

7
00:00:21,452 --> 00:00:24,732
How'd she get that scar?
From a bayonet, or a unicorn?

8
00:00:25,756 --> 00:00:27,326
I don't know.
She came with the scar,

9
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,228
and her background
is classified.

10
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:33,561
You know, Zuri,
I was just about your age
when my dad gave me Mary.

11
00:00:33,564 --> 00:00:36,044
This doll helped
get me through some
pretty tough times.

12
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,536
You mean like back
in India, when I was
bitten by that cobra

13
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:42,169
and had to walk
five miles to obtain
some used anti-venom?

14
00:00:42,173 --> 00:00:44,483
Uphill?

15
00:00:44,475 --> 00:00:46,675
No, but one time
I had to walk home
from the mall

16
00:00:46,677 --> 00:00:48,447
'cause my dad forgot
to pick me up.

17
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,549
You win.

18
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:54,532
My point is, Military Mary
is very special to me,

19
00:00:54,525 --> 00:00:57,825
and she deserves
a very special
little girl to play with.

20
00:00:57,828 --> 00:00:59,588
So Zuri,

21
00:00:59,590 --> 00:01:02,090
her new orders
are to bunk with you.

22
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,743
Thank you.

23
00:01:05,736 --> 00:01:10,436
But are you sure
she wouldn't be happier
back in the bomb shelter?

24
00:01:10,441 --> 00:01:13,101
(SCOFFS) This is a
20 million dollar penthouse.

25
00:01:13,104 --> 00:01:14,254
I think she'll adjust.

26
00:01:14,245 --> 00:01:15,375
(CHUCKLES)

27
00:01:16,647 --> 00:01:19,577
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

28
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:23,250
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie

29
00:01:23,254 --> 00:01:26,724
♪ It feels like a party
every day

30
00:01:26,717 --> 00:01:30,487
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie

31
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:34,091
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way

32
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:37,434
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie

33
00:01:37,428 --> 00:01:40,868
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around

34
00:01:40,871 --> 00:01:44,641
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground

35
00:01:44,635 --> 00:01:48,605
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town

36
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,779
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down

37
00:01:51,782 --> 00:01:53,612
♪ Hey Jessie

38
00:01:55,486 --> 00:01:57,116
♪ Hey Jessie

39
00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:02,719
♪ It feels like a party
every day

40
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:05,703
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪

41
00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:14,413
Has anyone
seen my keys?

42
00:02:14,405 --> 00:02:15,665
(RETCHES)

43
00:02:17,908 --> 00:02:19,168
Found them.

44
00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:20,770
Oh, thanks.

45
00:02:20,771 --> 00:02:22,871
By any chance,
has anyone seen
my nose-hair trimmers?

46
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,175
Feel free
to take a look.

47
00:02:27,178 --> 00:02:28,818
Sorry, guys,

48
00:02:28,819 --> 00:02:30,819
I just can't seem
to focus these days,

49
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:33,281
and I feel all woozy inside.

50
00:02:33,284 --> 00:02:34,534
Maybe you're sick.

51
00:02:34,525 --> 00:02:36,485
It's Salma Espinosa.

52
00:02:36,487 --> 00:02:37,527
Is that contagious?

53
00:02:38,189 --> 00:02:39,729
It's not a disease!

54
00:02:39,730 --> 00:02:42,430
It's the name of the most
beautiful woman on earth!

55
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:43,893
She's the neighbor's
personal chef,

56
00:02:43,894 --> 00:02:46,644
and let's just say
she is one hot tamale.

57
00:02:47,698 --> 00:02:50,368
Bertram, we're going
to help you get Salma.

58
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,671
Oh. Absolutely not.

59
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,583
But aren't you tired
of spending your nights

60
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:57,205
polishing your nesting dolls
with your tears?

61
00:02:57,208 --> 00:02:58,478
Yes.

62
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,851
But there's no way
I'm letting you two meddle
in my personal life.

63
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,794
Okay.

64
00:03:06,917 --> 00:03:09,957
Just so we're clear,
we are going to
meddle, right?

65
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,890
Like Michael Phelps
at the Olympics.

66
00:03:16,527 --> 00:03:19,627
Okay, Mary. Your mission
is to scratch my back.

67
00:03:21,272 --> 00:03:23,232
Ah, mission accomplished.

68
00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:25,444
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

69
00:03:26,537 --> 00:03:27,937
Uh, it's Darla.

70
00:03:27,938 --> 00:03:29,338
This could take a while.

71
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:30,810
She has unlimited
bragging minutes.

72
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,554
Darla, hi!

73
00:03:36,547 --> 00:03:40,547
Oh! Oh, you're calling
from your boyfriend's
private submarine?

74
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:42,952
Lucky you.

75
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:47,934
Ooh, a Bunny-Bot 3000!

76
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:52,698
Hey, is that an original
Military Mary doll?

77
00:03:52,703 --> 00:03:56,743
(CHUCKLES)
Simon Sneed is the name,
toy collecting is my game.

78
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,467
As is making rather
obvious rhymes, apparently.

79
00:04:01,312 --> 00:04:02,312
Watch this.

80
00:04:03,274 --> 00:04:05,524
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)

81
00:04:05,516 --> 00:04:07,346
You're the best
boy or girl ever!

82
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:10,818
Tell your mommy to buy
my DVDs, backpacks,
and lunch boxes.

83
00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:13,382
And best of all.

84
00:04:13,384 --> 00:04:14,894
Hold out your hands.

85
00:04:14,885 --> 00:04:16,025
(WHIRRING)

86
00:04:16,887 --> 00:04:18,427
(GASPS)

87
00:04:18,429 --> 00:04:19,959
Chocolate poop?

88
00:04:22,032 --> 00:04:23,362
Delicious!

89
00:04:25,436 --> 00:04:26,666
I'll tell you what.

90
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,567
I'll take that old,
scar-faced doll
off your hands

91
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,800
in exchange
for the brand new
Bunny-Bot.

92
00:04:32,303 --> 00:04:33,443
Deal!

93
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,005
BOTH: Sucker!

94
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,850
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

95
00:04:41,852 --> 00:04:43,812
Luke, are you almost here?

96
00:04:43,814 --> 00:04:46,964
Great. Initiating Operation
Beauty and the Butler.

97
00:04:46,957 --> 00:04:48,757
I'm calling her right now.

98
00:04:52,323 --> 00:04:53,923
Salma Espinosa?

99
00:04:53,924 --> 00:04:55,904
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Yo, this is Tony
from the lobby.

100
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,066
I need to see youse
down here real quick.

101
00:04:58,068 --> 00:04:59,068
Go Jets!

102
00:05:00,971 --> 00:05:02,031
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

103
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,535
Hola, Bertram.

104
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,537
(STAMMERS)

105
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:15,493
You know, you two
have a lot in common.

106
00:05:15,486 --> 00:05:17,486
Like cooking,
and...

107
00:05:18,349 --> 00:05:19,449
...breathing.

108
00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:23,351
So, have fun
with that. Bye!

109
00:05:31,462 --> 00:05:32,602
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

110
00:05:32,603 --> 00:05:34,573
(HICCUPS) Oh.

111
00:05:34,565 --> 00:05:37,705
I'm sorry, I always get
hiccups when I'm nervous.

112
00:05:37,708 --> 00:05:40,768
Especially when
I'm around beautiful women.

113
00:05:40,771 --> 00:05:42,941
Oh, you think
I'm beautiful?

114
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,853
You make me turn
as red as the tomatoes
in my paella.

115
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,647
I love paella.

116
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:52,079
Oh, well... Perhaps we could
cook for each other sometime.

117
00:05:52,082 --> 00:05:55,032
Like this Saturday?
(HICCUPPING CONTINUES)

118
00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:57,985
I should be over
these hiccups by then.

119
00:05:57,988 --> 00:06:01,528
Well, this Saturday
there is a salsa contest
in the park.

120
00:06:01,532 --> 00:06:04,062
(GASPS) We could
enter together...

121
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:07,544
I love salsa!
I'm the salsa king!

122
00:06:07,538 --> 00:06:12,398
Bueno. Oh, I cannot wait
to salsa the night away.

123
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:16,806
(HICCUPS)

124
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:21,108
She meant the salsa
dancing contest!

125
00:06:21,111 --> 00:06:22,151
What did you
think she meant?

126
00:06:22,152 --> 00:06:23,982
A salsa making contest!

127
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:27,524
You know,
diced tomatoes,
onions, cilantro!

128
00:06:27,518 --> 00:06:29,988
Who dances in the park?
That's crazy!

129
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,620
And making salsa
in the park is sane?

130
00:06:34,124 --> 00:06:36,834
You two got me into this,
you're gonna get me out.

131
00:06:36,827 --> 00:06:40,027
You've got three days
to teach me how
to salsa dance.

132
00:06:41,532 --> 00:06:43,602
Is three days
going to be enough?

133
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:47,144
Only if we can cut down
his nap time to less
than six hours a day.

134
00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:54,081
I cannot believe
you gave Jessie's
doll away.

135
00:06:54,084 --> 00:06:56,454
She will be very upset.

136
00:06:56,447 --> 00:06:58,117
Okay, done with Darla.

137
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,818
The sub went under a whale
so she lost reception.

138
00:07:02,493 --> 00:07:05,563
Then I guess
we're done here.
Better go home.

139
00:07:05,556 --> 00:07:07,096
Wait, wait, wait!

140
00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:08,597
Where's Military Mary?

141
00:07:11,101 --> 00:07:14,741
She shipped out.
She promised to write.

142
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:17,035
What do you mean,
"shipped out"?

143
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,107
Okay, okay. Fine.

144
00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:21,509
I cannot tell a lie.

145
00:07:21,512 --> 00:07:23,812
Ravi traded her
to a toy dealer.

146
00:07:24,975 --> 00:07:28,045
She can tell a lie!

147
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:32,178
Zuri traded your
precious memories for
an incontinent varmint!

148
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,134
On the bright side,
I made out like a bandit.

149
00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:38,657
Meet Bunny-Bot.

150
00:07:39,229 --> 00:07:41,129
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)

151
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:46,244
So you traded
Military Mary

152
00:07:46,236 --> 00:07:48,566
for a bunny that
poops chocolate?

153
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,240
It's Swiss!
With almonds!

154
00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:02,550
One, two, three.
Five, six, seven.
(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)

155
00:08:02,553 --> 00:08:05,163
I've seen better rotation
from the washing machine.

156
00:08:05,155 --> 00:08:07,115
Like you've ever seen
a washing machine.

157
00:08:07,117 --> 00:08:09,517
(GASPS)

158
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,760
Okay, okay, let's just
try some basic steps.
Ready?

159
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,713
(EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH)

160
00:08:27,578 --> 00:08:29,208
Now you.

161
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,609
Have you met me?

162
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,585
Stupid Poopy-Bot.

163
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,588
Jessie.

164
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,550
I made my bed,

165
00:08:41,552 --> 00:08:44,052
did my homework,
and cleaned my closet.

166
00:08:44,054 --> 00:08:46,164
Is there anything else
you want me to do?

167
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,929
Oh, oh,
the silent treatment.

168
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,831
Well, two can play
at that game.

169
00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:57,136
I don't want to
play that game!

170
00:08:58,268 --> 00:08:59,938
Just be mad!
Yell at me.

171
00:09:00,971 --> 00:09:03,171
I'm not mad
at you, okay, Zuri.

172
00:09:04,314 --> 00:09:06,024
I'm just disappointed.

173
00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:07,616
Military Mary
meant a lot to me,

174
00:09:07,618 --> 00:09:09,618
and what you did
really hurt my feelings.

175
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:16,033
I didn't mean to hurt her.

176
00:09:16,026 --> 00:09:18,726
I hate to say
I told you so, but...

177
00:09:18,729 --> 00:09:20,259
Oh, who am I kidding?

178
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,190
Actually, I quite enjoy it.

179
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,274
This is terrible.

180
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:28,165
And no amount
of chocolate poop
can make it better.

181
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,870
Doesn't hurt, though.

182
00:09:36,607 --> 00:09:37,947
(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)

183
00:09:37,948 --> 00:09:40,208
Bertram, clean up
that footwork,

184
00:09:41,151 --> 00:09:43,011
straighten your frame,

185
00:09:43,914 --> 00:09:45,964
and tuck in your butt!

186
00:09:45,956 --> 00:09:47,916
If I could, I would!

187
00:09:47,918 --> 00:09:49,318
(MUSIC STOPS)

188
00:09:49,319 --> 00:09:52,719
I keep hearing this
voice in my head
saying I can't do this.

189
00:09:52,723 --> 00:09:54,323
Oh, just ignore it.

190
00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:55,234
That's what we do
when we hear your voice,
right?

191
00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:59,197
(GRUNTS)
I give up!

192
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,629
Bertram, do you ever
want to get a girlfriend?

193
00:10:01,632 --> 00:10:04,302
You've already been
alone for like 70 years.

194
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:10,207
All right.
I'll do it for Salma.

195
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,740
The only thing missing
is the perfect outfit.

196
00:10:12,743 --> 00:10:15,323
And while I'm at it,
I'll try to find something
for you, too, Bertram!

197
00:10:17,187 --> 00:10:18,347
(MUSIC STARTS)
Keep dancing.

198
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:21,290
(SIGHS)

199
00:10:25,656 --> 00:10:27,256
I hate this
more than you do.

200
00:10:27,257 --> 00:10:28,997
I find that
hard to believe.

201
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,262
Believe it.

202
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:38,768
Hey, Sneed.

203
00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:42,170
I want Military Mary back,

204
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:45,782
so I'll make you an offer
you can't refuse, see?

205
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,247
Play your cards right

206
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:51,118
and we both walk away
from this, see?

207
00:10:53,423 --> 00:10:56,693
She loves
gangster movies.

208
00:10:56,687 --> 00:10:58,757
I'll give you
the same answer
I gave my mother

209
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,859
when she asked me
to move out... No!

210
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,233
There you guys are!

211
00:11:04,234 --> 00:11:06,144
You know you're not
supposed to leave
the penthouse without me.

212
00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:10,736
I came to trade
my best toys to get
Military Mary back for you.

213
00:11:10,741 --> 00:11:13,941
Oh, that's
so sweet, Zuri.

214
00:11:13,944 --> 00:11:16,254
What's your excuse?
I was her hostage!

215
00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:21,009
Hi, sir.

216
00:11:21,011 --> 00:11:24,181
My name is Jessie.
Clearly there's been
a little mistake here,

217
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:27,394
so Zuri will just give you
back your Bunny-Poopy-Bot,

218
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,217
and you give us
Military Mary.

219
00:11:29,219 --> 00:11:30,789
No way!

220
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,791
Only seven of these dolls
with scars were ever made.

221
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,804
Which means I'm gonna
make some money.

222
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,726
Have you no heart?

223
00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:39,868
Jessie's father
gave her that toy!

224
00:11:39,870 --> 00:11:44,840
So what? My mother
gave me an ulcer.
Boo-hoo!

225
00:11:44,835 --> 00:11:47,235
Look, Missy, if you want
your precious doll back,

226
00:11:47,237 --> 00:11:49,407
you can bid on it
at the Toy-tacular,

227
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,709
like the rest of
the pathetic geeks.

228
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,811
Valued customers, I mean.

229
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:56,916
Wait...

230
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:59,187
Don't worry, Mary!
We will find you!

231
00:11:59,189 --> 00:12:01,849
Only tell him your name,
rank, and serial number!

232
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,353
She'll be okay.

233
00:12:04,354 --> 00:12:06,734
She has kung fu grip
and fairy dust.

234
00:12:11,802 --> 00:12:13,462
(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)

235
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,167
I'm so proud
of Bertram.

236
00:12:19,169 --> 00:12:21,069
I can't believe
he's actually doing it.

237
00:12:21,071 --> 00:12:24,211
The way you dressed him,
I can't believe he actually
left the house.

238
00:12:26,216 --> 00:12:29,246
You are doing wonderfully,
guapo, but you seem
a little nervous.

239
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,479
Nervous?
I'm not nervous.

240
00:12:34,324 --> 00:12:37,094
I'm barely aware
that there are three
incredibly stern judges

241
00:12:37,087 --> 00:12:38,857
watching my every move.

242
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:41,390
(HICCUPS)

243
00:12:41,391 --> 00:12:43,431
Do not worry.

244
00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:46,003
Now that
they are watching...
Twirl me!

245
00:12:45,996 --> 00:12:48,296
Now? Are you sure?
(HICCUPPING CONTINUES)

246
00:12:48,298 --> 00:12:50,938
We're doing so well with
this "one, two, three" thing.

247
00:12:52,342 --> 00:12:54,102
(HOOTS EXCITEDLY)

248
00:12:54,104 --> 00:12:55,884
Ooh, here comes
the twirl!

249
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,406
Twirl her like
spaghetti, Bertram!

250
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,950
(EXCLAIMS JOYFULLY)

251
00:13:09,159 --> 00:13:13,059
You have no business
being out on that
dance floor with her!

252
00:13:13,964 --> 00:13:15,334
You stink!

253
00:13:15,325 --> 00:13:18,025
You should've stuck
to making salsa!

254
00:13:18,869 --> 00:13:21,169
Totalmente horrible!

255
00:13:21,171 --> 00:13:22,431
Que lastima.

256
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,884
Quiet, Bertrams!

257
00:13:28,879 --> 00:13:31,279
Bertram,
where are you going?

258
00:13:31,281 --> 00:13:34,921
We are doing the salsa,
not the running man!

259
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:37,815
What happened?
He was doing so great.

260
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,247
Oh, I knew I shouldn't
have mentioned spaghetti.

261
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:42,420
He's probably hip deep
in meatballs by now.

262
00:13:44,054 --> 00:13:45,134
We can fix this.

263
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,495
One of us should go
wrangle Bertram

264
00:13:46,496 --> 00:13:48,396
while the other dances
with his beautiful partner.

265
00:13:49,159 --> 00:13:50,159
Luke?

266
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,143
Hi. I'm Bertram 2.0.

267
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,005
Congratulations
on your free upgrade.

268
00:13:58,538 --> 00:13:59,908
Bam!

269
00:14:05,275 --> 00:14:08,015
(PANTS)
Sold out?

270
00:14:08,018 --> 00:14:10,078
It's just a bunch
of old toys,

271
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,880
not a Blake Shelton
concert!

272
00:14:15,285 --> 00:14:17,425
I think I found
our way in.
(GASPS)

273
00:14:19,529 --> 00:14:20,929
We fake a neck injury?

274
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,491
No.

275
00:14:23,493 --> 00:14:25,173
No, we conk those
Snuggle Bugs on the head,

276
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:27,435
take their costumes,
put them in the back
of the Snug-Mobile,

277
00:14:27,437 --> 00:14:29,197
lock the doors,
hide the keys
in a dumpster...

278
00:14:29,199 --> 00:14:32,969
Or we could just
take three costumes off
of this unattended rack.

279
00:14:34,044 --> 00:14:35,314
You're no fun.

280
00:14:39,249 --> 00:14:41,209
Bertram,
what's going on?

281
00:14:41,211 --> 00:14:43,351
I can't believe
I thought this would work.

282
00:14:43,353 --> 00:14:45,263
Well, you usually need
someone to push you.

283
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,217
I'm not talking
about the swing,

284
00:14:48,218 --> 00:14:50,918
I'm talking about
the dance contest.

285
00:14:50,921 --> 00:14:53,361
I really thought
I could pull this off.

286
00:14:53,363 --> 00:14:55,633
But all those people
were staring,

287
00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:58,565
and the judges
were so judge-y.

288
00:14:58,568 --> 00:15:00,368
But you were doing
great out there.

289
00:15:00,370 --> 00:15:02,070
Really? Was I?

290
00:15:02,272 --> 00:15:04,232
Yes!

291
00:15:04,234 --> 00:15:06,414
You should've seen
how excited Salma was
dancing with you.

292
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,006
She looked like you
the day you got your
new pressure cooker.

293
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,679
That excited?

294
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,180
Yes, that excited.

295
00:15:13,183 --> 00:15:15,153
Bertram, you've
worked so hard.

296
00:15:15,145 --> 00:15:16,985
You're a great dancer now.

297
00:15:16,987 --> 00:15:18,447
Salma thinks you can do it,

298
00:15:18,448 --> 00:15:20,388
Luke and I think
you can do it.

299
00:15:20,390 --> 00:15:23,550
The only person saying
you can't do it is you.

300
00:15:23,553 --> 00:15:26,233
Well, there were actually
four of me saying it.

301
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,226
Huh?

302
00:15:27,697 --> 00:15:29,197
Long story.

303
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,300
Which there is no time for,

304
00:15:32,302 --> 00:15:35,312
because the girl of your
dreams is waiting for you
on that dance floor,

305
00:15:35,305 --> 00:15:37,235
and she needs you
to win this contest!

306
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,438
You really think
I can do this?

307
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:41,470
Yes!

308
00:15:41,471 --> 00:15:43,371
Now, why aren't you moving?

309
00:15:43,373 --> 00:15:45,383
Because I'm stuck
in this swing!

310
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,247
(GRUNTS)

311
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,548
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
Let's go.

312
00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:54,283
There's Sneed!

313
00:15:55,025 --> 00:15:56,255
(STATIC)

314
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,326
Attention,
ladies and gentlemen.

315
00:15:58,328 --> 00:16:02,058
Remember to stick around
for the big toy auction
after the show.

316
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:05,602
The first item up
for bid is a rare
Military Mary doll.

317
00:16:05,595 --> 00:16:07,035
(ALL GASP)

318
00:16:07,037 --> 00:16:09,337
The bidding
will start at $1,000.

319
00:16:09,339 --> 00:16:12,369
(ALL GASP)
ALL: $1,000.

320
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,302
That makes it
the most expensive
thing I own!

321
00:16:14,304 --> 00:16:16,614
I don't want to
split hairs here,

322
00:16:16,606 --> 00:16:19,976
but you did give
the doll to me.

323
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,309
Do you really want
to bring that up
right now?

324
00:16:22,512 --> 00:16:26,162
Jessie, where are you
going to get a $1,000?

325
00:16:26,156 --> 00:16:29,386
They cut up your credit card
at a frozen yogurt stand.

326
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,759
I never should've
splurged on sprinkles.

327
00:16:31,761 --> 00:16:33,591
Okay, you guys go
buzz around Sneed,

328
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:37,333
and I'll grab Mary with
whichever one of these
is my real arm.

329
00:16:39,069 --> 00:16:40,599
Before the bidding begins,

330
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,300
the Snuggle Bugs
will be performing
their hit single,

331
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,513
As Long As You Bug Me.

332
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,435
JESSIE:
Hey. Wait, wait,
wait... What?

333
00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:50,107
Hey, watch it, bro,
keep your feelers
to yourself.

334
00:16:54,644 --> 00:16:57,294
(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)

335
00:16:57,287 --> 00:16:58,387
Oh, God.

336
00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:01,018
Sorry I cut out.
Can I cut back in?

337
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,320
Sure, we have to
make it look smooth.

338
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,723
Let's do the reverse copa.

339
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:07,034
Five, six,
seven, eight...

340
00:17:15,465 --> 00:17:17,565
Maybe we should
try that again.
You think?

341
00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:19,337
Five, six,
seven, eight.

342
00:17:24,414 --> 00:17:26,584
I'm sorry, Salma.
If you knew me better,

343
00:17:26,576 --> 00:17:29,776
you'd know I typically
don't run away like that.

344
00:17:29,779 --> 00:17:31,449
Or run, period.

345
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,352
I'm just glad
you are back.

346
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:36,394
Your little friend
was a bit of a showboat.

347
00:17:40,730 --> 00:17:42,460
(CROWD CHEERING)

348
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,766
Luke, we're dancing
so well,

349
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,097
that all that's left
is us and Bertram.

350
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,300
We have to stop
being so awesome.
(SCOFFS)

351
00:17:52,302 --> 00:17:53,442
That's like asking me
to stop breathing.

352
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,714
Is that an option?

353
00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:01,478
Salma, it's time
to win that trophy.

354
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,451
Maybe we should
let them win.

355
00:18:03,453 --> 00:18:05,293
They are only children.

356
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,685
They both have
giant trust funds,

357
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,556
and they'll never
have to work a day
in their lives.

358
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,561
Let us do this!

359
00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:32,280
(ALL CHEERING)

360
00:18:36,246 --> 00:18:40,186
Bertram,
you were wonderful.

361
00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:42,450
You think that
was good, you should
see me make salsa.

362
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:45,704
(GASPS)

363
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,426
We did it!

364
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,127
We did it!
(CHUCKLES)

365
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,460
They did it? What?

366
00:18:53,263 --> 00:18:54,503
(BERTRAM SIGHS)

367
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,405
I'm really sorry, Salma.

368
00:18:58,408 --> 00:19:00,408
I know you wanted
to win that trophy.

369
00:19:00,410 --> 00:19:02,510
Do not be silly,
Bertram.

370
00:19:02,512 --> 00:19:04,612
I got something
much better.

371
00:19:04,614 --> 00:19:07,424
A cute new novio.

372
00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:08,777
You won a car?

373
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:11,820
No, silly.

374
00:19:11,821 --> 00:19:13,621
Novio means boyfriend.

375
00:19:13,623 --> 00:19:15,493
Oh. (CHUCKLES)

376
00:19:15,485 --> 00:19:18,485
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Wow.

377
00:19:18,488 --> 00:19:21,428
Sorry, Bertram.
We weren't trying to win,

378
00:19:21,431 --> 00:19:23,861
but when you combine
me with a dance floor
and a crowd,

379
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,703
there's only
so many ways
it can end.

380
00:19:26,696 --> 00:19:28,296
But we're totes
proud of you,

381
00:19:28,298 --> 00:19:29,698
and we really want
you to have this.

382
00:19:29,699 --> 00:19:33,499
Thanks, but Salma
and I already have
everything we need.

383
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,653
Si, guapo.

384
00:19:35,645 --> 00:19:37,305
(CHUCKLES)

385
00:19:37,307 --> 00:19:39,477
Ugh! Let's get out
of here before she starts
running her fingers

386
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:40,609
through his scalp.

387
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,458
JESSIE: Okay, looks like
we're gonna have to perform.

388
00:19:50,460 --> 00:19:52,690
Just follow my lead
and try to fake your
way through this.

389
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,392
RAVI: Are you kidding?

390
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:57,574
We have seen every
Snuggle Bugs episode
a zillion times.

391
00:19:57,567 --> 00:19:59,897
ZURI: It's the reason
I have no attention span!

392
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,331
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING)

393
00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:04,833
JESSIE: Whoa, whoa.

394
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,544
Watch out, watch out.
Hey! Hey! Hey!

395
00:20:09,539 --> 00:20:11,439
Whoa, okay! That's...
That's not right.

396
00:20:11,441 --> 00:20:13,311
Uh...

397
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,883
Kids actually
watch this stuff?

398
00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:16,594
Whoa. Hey, hey!

399
00:20:16,586 --> 00:20:17,616
Whoa!

400
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,387
(PANTS) Whoa.

401
00:20:19,389 --> 00:20:20,819
Wait. Huh?

402
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,690
(GRUNTS) Stuck...

403
00:20:22,692 --> 00:20:24,452
Whoa!

404
00:20:24,454 --> 00:20:25,604
(ALL GASP)

405
00:20:26,656 --> 00:20:27,896
(CROWD CHEER)

406
00:20:27,897 --> 00:20:28,957
(ALL BOOING)

407
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,299
Get me down.

408
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:32,661
On it!

409
00:20:34,664 --> 00:20:35,774
Whoa!

410
00:20:35,765 --> 00:20:36,865
(THUD)

411
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:39,968
Thanks a lot.

412
00:20:39,969 --> 00:20:40,969
My bad.

413
00:20:42,772 --> 00:20:44,942
Stop them!
They're after my doll.

414
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:47,724
Wait, uh, that's not
your doll, it's Zuri's.

415
00:20:47,717 --> 00:20:49,847
She traded it
fair and square!

416
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,649
What is fair about
taking advantage

417
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,881
of a gullible,
thoughtless little girl?

418
00:20:53,883 --> 00:20:55,463
No offense.

419
00:20:56,386 --> 00:20:57,756
Wait! Stop!

420
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:01,257
Friends, parents,
Snuggle Bug enthusiasts.

421
00:21:04,534 --> 00:21:06,044
Toys are special.

422
00:21:06,035 --> 00:21:08,565
They're not just
things to buy and sell,

423
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:11,668
they're part
of our happiest
childhood moments,

424
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:14,542
our most precious memories.

425
00:21:14,544 --> 00:21:15,614
Preach!

426
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:20,577
So, we should take
really good care
of our toys,

427
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,980
because at one
time or another,

428
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,693
they took pretty
good care of us.

429
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:29,756
And this man tricked
my little Zuri

430
00:21:29,759 --> 00:21:33,659
into trading away
my Military Mary
for some cheap Poopy-Bot,

431
00:21:33,663 --> 00:21:35,503
which is already out of poop!

432
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:36,825
(ALL GASP)

433
00:21:36,826 --> 00:21:39,596
And he lied about
Mary's real value.

434
00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,369
(ALL GASP)

435
00:21:41,371 --> 00:21:44,701
And he did not
provide a receipt!

436
00:21:44,704 --> 00:21:48,814
What, no gasps
of indignation at this lack
of common business courtesy?

437
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:51,880
Come on!

438
00:21:51,881 --> 00:21:54,411
My profit margins
are razor thin.

439
00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:56,054
If I don't cheat
your spoiled brats,

440
00:21:56,045 --> 00:21:57,915
how am I supposed
to pay for my sports car?

441
00:21:59,749 --> 00:22:00,949
Get him!

442
00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:02,450
(KIDS YELLING)

443
00:22:02,452 --> 00:22:05,632
SNEED: Ow! Mom?
Quit it!

444
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,625
We should
get out of here.

445
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:09,797
Looks like Sneed's about
to get the chocolate
beat out of him.

446
00:22:14,904 --> 00:22:17,374
Aw, Zuri,
you're playing with Mary.

447
00:22:17,367 --> 00:22:18,707
You know you don't have to.

448
00:22:18,708 --> 00:22:20,008
Are you kidding me?

449
00:22:20,009 --> 00:22:24,339
I'm not taking
my eyes off of her.
She's valuable.

450
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,823
Yeah, $1,000
is a lot of cash.

451
00:22:27,617 --> 00:22:29,117
I don't mean the money.

452
00:22:29,118 --> 00:22:31,818
She's valuable because
you gave her to me.

453
00:22:32,682 --> 00:22:34,022
Aw.

454
00:22:35,785 --> 00:22:38,755
Plus, Military Mary
is really fun.

455
00:22:38,758 --> 00:22:39,888
Oh, I know, right?

456
00:22:39,889 --> 00:22:42,659
One time I had her
rescue the president
from evil aliens.

457
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:46,072
Well, today Mary
is on a secret mission.

458
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:48,035
The whole world
hangs in the balance.

459
00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:54,542
All right, Chubbs.

460
00:22:54,544 --> 00:22:56,914
Tell us where
you hid the honey!

461
00:22:56,906 --> 00:23:00,946
Or fuzzy-wuzzy
won't be so fuzzy.

462
00:23:03,953 --> 00:23:07,493
This brings back
so many happy, childhood
interrogation memories.