1 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:21,521 [man] Nice! 2 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,152 [funky upbeat music playing] 3 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,709 I love this belt. 4 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,264 Only 30 minutes more TV. Okay, hon? 5 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,812 This lamp. Sweet. Oh. 6 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,315 [music playing on TV] 7 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,318 Donnie's gonna be here any minute. 8 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,279 Yeah. Whoa. [groans] 9 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:28,338 [brakes screech] 10 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,428 [sniffs] 11 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,429 [horn honks] 12 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,432 [chuckles] 13 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,735 Welcome home, Sean Floyd. 14 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,573 All right, Donnie's here. See you guys tomorrow. 15 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,658 All right, honey. 16 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,409 -Have fun camping, kiddo. -Bye! 17 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,413 -[groaning] -[man on TV] Oh, yeah. Ah, Ooh. 18 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,082 -[woman moaning] -Oh, my God. 19 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,375 [man] Ooh. 20 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,417 Holy shit. 21 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,002 -What is this? -I don't know! 22 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,171 -Oh, my God. -[father] Work! 23 00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:13,466 -Just walk over, hit the button on the TV. -What are they doing? 24 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,051 Okay, I'll see you guys later. 25 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,637 -[mother] What are you doing? -[moaning, panting] 26 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,223 Dude, what are you doing? Are you serious? 27 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:24,102 Sean Floyd, back on American soil for one week only! 28 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,437 Dude, turn that off. My little brother is crying in there. 29 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,231 -[cell phone clicks] -That's crazy porn. 30 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:29,399 [Donnie] She's a big girl. 31 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,442 What are you wearing? 32 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,070 They're my hiking shorts. 33 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,281 Why do those cover your belly button but not your balls? 34 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:38,992 What's that on your face? You spilled something on your face. 35 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,328 It looks like you drank a glass of Ed Sheeran's pubes. 36 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,206 In fact, the '80s nostalgia wave we're living in, it's about to crest. 37 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,458 When it does, I'm gonna be swimming in puss. Know why? 38 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,169 Are you growing a Narcos coke 'stache? 39 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,254 I am growing a Narcos coke 'stache, my friend. 40 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,964 -You're growing a coke 'stache. -Mm-hmm. 41 00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,674 Donnie Escobar, right here. 42 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:55,592 -Wow. -That's right. 43 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,010 [snickers] 44 00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,303 How you doing, pal? 45 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,388 -I'm good. How are you? -Glad to have you back. 46 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,599 Ah, it's good to be back and... 47 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,309 Oh, we're hugging. 48 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,436 -[rap music playing] -♪ That I'm sipping on ♪ 49 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,272 ♪ Ass that I'm gripping on Leather that I'm sitting on ♪ 50 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,648 ♪ Put this in your stereo ♪ 51 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,358 ♪ Press play, now here we go ♪ 52 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,195 Oh, hey, dudes. 53 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,113 'Sup, Virgin Megastore? 54 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,365 -[woman] Excuse me? -[Donnie] Oh, shit. 55 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:21,701 -Hey, Mrs. Abelar. -Hey. 56 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:22,619 Hi. 57 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:26,039 [sighs] Jeremy, what are you doing over there? 58 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,249 -[mouthing] -[Mrs. Abelar] Jeremy! 59 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,211 I can see you are jerking off the walking stick! 60 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,545 Mom, I'm packing. 61 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:36,007 Your dad and I are leaving in an hour, and I want you out of here ASAP. 62 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:37,217 Okay, I'm going! 63 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,344 Oh, God, I so need this vacation. 64 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,888 Six hours, I'll be in Napa with a Zinfandel. 65 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,389 [both] Bye, Mrs. Abelar. 66 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,807 Look who the fuck is back. 67 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,185 -[Sean] What's up, man? -[laughing] What's up, man? 68 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:51,272 Yo, you dogs ready to get... [softly] ...fucked up? 69 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,482 -Oh, yeah. -Show him the ID. 70 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,776 [in normal voice] It's a military ID. 71 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,611 [chuckling] 1991, dude. 72 00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:59,239 -What? You buy stuff with this? -[Donnie] Fuck yeah, he does. 73 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,491 Jack Jessop reporting for booze. 74 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,825 You don't look like this guy. 75 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,452 This guy looks like a soldier. 76 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,162 -You look like Pocahontas. -[Jeremy scoffs] 77 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,498 -No one says shit to an Army ranger. -All right. 78 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,417 I found this outside the booth at the gun and knife show 79 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,587 when I was picking up this bad boy. Check it out. Check it out. 80 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:15,588 Huh? 81 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:16,756 -Whoa. -Oh, shit. 82 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:17,799 Hoo-rah! 83 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,300 -Pretty tight, huh? -Yeah, it's cool. 84 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:22,512 This is in case we run into any crazy shit out in the woods. 85 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,473 -Like, fucking crazy shit! Shit. Fuck! -Whoa, man! 86 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,225 -I'm-- Sorry, dude. -[Donnie] Come on, man. 87 00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:31,020 I try to act like I'm riding a bike, but I still got the training wheels on. 88 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,397 -You feel me? -[Donnie] Yeah. 89 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,440 -Let's pack up the van. -Let's do it! 90 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:38,569 -Yeah, let's just get out of here. -[Sean] Let's pack it up. Hit the road. 91 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,196 [Donnie] Why are there so many bags? 92 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:41,572 -What is all this shit? -Oh! 93 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:47,078 Uh... Yeah, there's a slight change of plans, dude. 94 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:50,331 It sucks total donkey dick. 95 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,834 -Stop going through my shit, perv. -[Donnie] Sarah? 96 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,336 No. No. No! 97 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,463 No, no. No way. [chuckles] No, no, no. 98 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,841 -For real? -Why does this feel so awkward? 99 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,926 Jeremy, did you not tell them that we were coming? 100 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,805 I was-- I'm telling them now. Like, they're learning of it right now. 101 00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,932 -Are you kidding? -They're coming. 102 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,018 Welcome back, Sean. 103 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:11,894 Hey! Hey, what's up? 104 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,606 -Do you not hug people anymore? -[Sean] Oh, yeah, sorry. 105 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,108 -They don't hug in Germany? -[Sean] Yeah. 106 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,944 Welcome back. I mean, I'm back. You're not back. 107 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,363 I'm just back for the next week. Hey, Sarah, what's up? 108 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,531 Were you really in Germany? 109 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,492 There was a rumor you were in rehab for bath salts. 110 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,578 -Everyone's talking about it. -What? No. 111 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,580 Nein! Nein! I was in Germany. Yeah. 112 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,415 Cool hiking gear. 113 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,208 [Sean] Hmm? Oh. What? 114 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,419 -How'd that get tucked in? -[Sarah] Stop! 115 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,212 -You're ruining my bra! -I don't care. 116 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,548 [Sarah] This shit's expensive. Stop! 117 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:43,009 Jeremy said we're going six miles into the woods. 118 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:43,926 Yeah! 119 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,595 Yeah. I'm glad you're coming, though. 120 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,472 It's gonna be worth it when you see me twerking 121 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,182 with Mother Nature. [chuckles] 122 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,185 Are you gonna be twerking against a tree or... 123 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,354 -How does that work? -I don't know. 124 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,023 -[laughs] -[Donnie] Excuse me! 125 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,317 This is supposed to be a bros trip. 126 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,278 So I need a group meeting. Now! Sean! 127 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,073 -Sounds mad. Yeah. -I gotta go. Um... 128 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:06,908 Bye. 129 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,870 Hey, did you guys know that people think I've been in rehab? 130 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:11,829 -Yeah. -[Donnie] Yeah. 131 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:15,041 [stammers] Yeah, it's some bullshit rumor, dude. Forget about it. 132 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,627 Look, I'm feeling fucking betrayed with you, J-Tron. 133 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,170 Chad and my sister broke up yesterday, 134 00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,130 so she bailed on Cancun with his family. 135 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,299 -That's fine. -[chuckles] Oh, what? They broke up? 136 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,637 -That sucks. -Yeah, she found out he cheated on her-- 137 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,722 I don't care what happened. 138 00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:32,683 I'm not going camping with my ex this weekend. 139 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,061 Wait, I thought you guys were never "official." 140 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,271 Yeah, that's one of our many disputes. Thank you, Sean. 141 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:41,401 Spring break. Indigonanza... 142 00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:45,029 -is about bros. Bonding. -Uh-huh. 143 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,489 Ceremoniously drinking 144 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,951 a bottle of Indigo Caribbean Spiced Rum in 48 hours. 145 00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,246 -That's the tradition. -This is true. 146 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:56,541 Plus, we only have Sean for one week before he goes back to dipping his balls 147 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:58,376 in sauerkraut for the rest of the school year. 148 00:06:58,459 --> 00:06:59,877 That's not something we do. 149 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,213 All right. This is shitty for me too, okay? 150 00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:04,090 My girlfriend freaked out when she found out 151 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,217 ladies were coming and I didn't invite her. 152 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,095 How many times do I have to tell you? You're being catfished. 153 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,723 Her name is Kendall Jenners. 154 00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:14,517 With an S. 155 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,978 -Not real. -That's her name, okay? 156 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,646 She's real, all right? 157 00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:22,316 We're gonna meet this summer at theater camp and we're gonna have sex. 158 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:25,319 Hey, actually, that reminds me, Sean. 159 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:28,948 This weekend might actually be your chance to bang my sister. 160 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,117 -Whoa, whoa! -What the fuck? 161 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,871 She's my twin sister, okay? We have this special connection thing. 162 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,331 If she's having sex, it's like if I'm having sex. 163 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:40,084 -Dude, that's gro-- Don't say that! Now-- -Why not? 164 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,753 Why would you not want me to feel sex? Sex is great. 165 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:43,754 It's your fucking twin. 166 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,173 -Don't be disgust-- -[screaming] 167 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:48,593 -[Donnie] Jesus Christ! -Stop pouting in there, cheddar bush. 168 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,763 It's gonna be like this the whole fucking time. 169 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,515 [sighs] Scared me. 170 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:56,893 [girl] Here we go. 171 00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:59,353 -[Sean] Bye! -[Sarah] Bye, Mrs. Abelar. 172 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,064 -[Jeremy] Bye! -Fuck you, Mrs. Abelar. 173 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,941 Don't say "fuck you" to my mom, man.  174 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,904 -We say "fuck you" to Mom all the time. -Well, yeah, but she's, like, our mom. 175 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:11,782 I just don't think any Abelar woman should be disrespected… 176 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,242 like that. 177 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,703 [sighs] Yeah. 178 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,622 Ah, they're good kids. 179 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,041 -They're nightmares. -I know, hon. Let's go. 180 00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,335 -They're my suicidal nightmares. -I know, I know. 181 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,549 ["Free Song" by Maria Taylor playing on radio] 182 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,968 ♪ ...to do what I want ♪ 183 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:35,181 -[inhales sharply] Uh... [sighs] -♪ So free ♪ 184 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,897 -♪ I'm free ♪ -[softly] Uh, thanks, man. 185 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,315 [chuckles softly] 186 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,361 [in normal voice] Hey, um, I'm really sorry about Chad. 187 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,113 [clicks tongue] Thanks. [inhales sharply] 188 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,243 So, do you guys keep in touch at all? Or... 189 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:58,329 Oh, well, we broke up 17 hours ago. 190 00:08:58,871 --> 00:08:59,956 So... 191 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,332 I'll keep you posted. 192 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:04,919 ♪ To show the love you lack ♪ 193 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:11,342 -[cell phone vibrates] -♪ Even if nobody loves you back ♪ 194 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,303 [sighs] 195 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,013 -[chuckles] -[Sarah] Hey! 196 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,225 Are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance? 197 00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,351 Oh, wow, really? 198 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,687 You know what, Sarah? I'm gonna have to think about it, 199 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:23,813 but thank you for asking. 200 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,315 Actually, I just wanted to warn whoever you end up going with 201 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,733 that you shart during blow jobs. 202 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,777 -That happened one time! -Happened two times. 203 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,988 -You said you'd never-- -[Sarah laughing] 204 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,532 -Dog, you sharted mid-beej? -[all laughing] 205 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,081 ♪ Got me ready Why are you taking long? ♪ 206 00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,875 [Jeremy] All right. Stay in the van. Be cool. I got this. 207 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:46,586 Hoo-rah! 208 00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,922 -♪ Now do it, do it, do it, do it ♪ -[bell dings] 209 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,094 -[rock music playing on stereo] -What's up? 210 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,263 You got ID? 211 00:09:58,472 --> 00:09:59,724 Blammo! [coughs] 212 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,645 [clerk] Hmm... Ranger, huh? 213 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,189 $47.65. 214 00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:10,484 Military discount. [clicks tongue] 215 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:14,363 -[Sean] Stop. Wipe it on your dirty butt. -No! Not on my... Ah! Not on my butt! 216 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,865 Know what? Just keep the change. 217 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,076 -You have a great day. No receipt. Heh. -[bell dings] 218 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,828 ["Dougou Badia" by Amadou andamp; Mariam playing] 219 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:27,835 ♪ Djamayo ounalyendé aounana Dougou badia dela ♪ 220 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:36,886 ♪ Djamayo ounalyendé aounana Mogo gnana djé dela ♪ 221 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,557 [laughs] That's not funny, man. 222 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,227 Yeah, you're great. Yeah, I'm just gonna put it in there. 223 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:49,273 All right, guys. Let's get these Snow Mates ready for their cover shoot. 224 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,026 ♪ While they laugh and shake their head Still we coming in ♪ 225 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:55,738 ♪ Now, love, you lead the way We go, go, go ♪ 226 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,157 ♪ We go, go, go ♪ 227 00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,575 [inhales sharply] Ow. 228 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,494 -♪ Still we coming in ♪ -Here. 229 00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:04,413 ♪ We go, go, go ♪ 230 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,207 ♪ We go, go, go ♪ 231 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,418 ♪ Yeah ♪ 232 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,586 [car alarm beeps] 233 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,631 ♪ Yeah ♪ 234 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,842 ♪ Let it play, let it play Let’s make it a holiday ♪ 235 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,010 ♪ Yeah ♪ 236 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:21,055 ♪ Every day, every day A party every way ♪ 237 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,264 ♪ Yeah ♪ 238 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,100 Jeremy, where are you taking us? 239 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:28,521 We're going deep into Mother Nature's puss... 240 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,649 all the way up past the ovaries. 241 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,110 Whoo! 242 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,034 Kendall gets so wet for this shit. 243 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,745 -[camera shutter clicking] -I'm sure that he does. 244 00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,923 [all panting] 245 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,185 Oh, this is it, dogs. 246 00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:10,354 This is base camp. 247 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:13,190 -[all groan, sigh] -[Sean] Fucking finally! Jesus Christ. 248 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,359 [Sean whistling] 249 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,777 [Jeremy] Oh, here we go. 250 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:19,989 Here we go. Oh, what the fuck? 251 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,415 Fuck Chad, right? 252 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,792 [inhales sharply] Uh, yeah. 253 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,086 High school relationships are bullshit, anyway. 254 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,505 I just feel really embarrassed. 255 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:37,798 Yeah. 256 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,634 But what if you tried to just... 257 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:44,180 you know, do something to take your mind off of it a little bit? 258 00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:48,726 You could hook up with Sean. 259 00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:54,023 Come on, it might be fun just to hook up with someone that's nice for a change. 260 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:58,194 Plus, you've always kind of liked him, and he got kind of hot in Germany. 261 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,114 [girl] I wouldn't say "hot." 262 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,534 I feel like he finished going through puberty. 263 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,328 [both laugh] 264 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,457 -You're blowing it with Becky. -Man, they just broke up. 265 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,293 This is the Rent cast party all over again. 266 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,962 This is not like the Rent cast party. Okay? It's not like that. 267 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,923 Remember what happened at the Rent cast party? 268 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:21,675 You sat on the couch sipping your Mike's Hard. 269 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,385 Her hand on your thigh. 270 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,429 You were on the couch and you squeezed his thigh. 271 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,723 Then I asked if he wanted to go smoke on the roof. 272 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,600 Wait, yeah, what did he say again? 273 00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,269 I told her that I passed on grass. 274 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:36,440 Which doesn't make any sense because we smoke literally all the time. 275 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,025 They literally smoke all the time. 276 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,652 And you sat there watching as she left. 277 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,195 I just got up and left. 278 00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,948 I told you that I couldn't stand up because... 279 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,909 -Maybe he just had a boner. -I had a boner. 280 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,077 Oh, ew. 281 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,162 Who gets a boner from someone touching their thigh? 282 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,915 You're being cock blocked, literally, by your own cock. 283 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,542 I don't know, man. I can't control it. 284 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,627 She then goes upstairs, makes out with Chad, 285 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,004 and they've been fucking dating till this moment. 286 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,089 The Rent cast party? 287 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,424 That was your chance to be with Becky, and you blew it. 288 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,552 -[Jeremy] Yeah, Donnie's right. -Thank you. 289 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,679 Musical theater's the ultimate aphrodisiac. 290 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:09,265 That's why me and Kendall are composing an R-rated musical 291 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,225 based on the songs of Britney Spears. 292 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,395 Dude, get this, all right? It's called Blonde to Bald to Back Again. 293 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,939 Shit is gonna be so fucking tight, dude. I can't wait. 294 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,024 I mean, you remember Christmas Eve, right? 295 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,986 When I sang Kendall my "Oops! I Did It Again" solo? 296 00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:25,781 Dude, I had to Urban Dictionary the shit she said she was gonna do to my body. 297 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,283 Oh, dude, I almost forgot. 298 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,244 I got you something, dude. It's for you and Becks. 299 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,871 It glows in the dark and shit. 300 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,623 [Sean] What? "The Fuck King Condom"? 301 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,750 Yeah. King of fucking, dude. 302 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:41,088 Or you can go raw, dog. I mean, I'm down to be an uncle. 303 00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,507 Stop it with the fucking your sister stuff. 304 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,677 As weird as this fucking guy is, he's right about one thing. 305 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,554 Becky's always had a thing for you. 306 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,222 No, that's 100% conjecture. 307 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,225 [stammers] I don't know. I'm slow-playing it, okay? 308 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,686 You're no-playing it. Be her rebound, okay? 309 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:58,606 Take off your practice sweats and crash the fucking boards. 310 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,024 -Yeah. -[Donnie] Play dirty. 311 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:03,152 You think I didn't throw a few 'bows to get where I am with Sarah? 312 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,654 What? Where do you think you are with Sarah? 313 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,822 You guys hate each other. 314 00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:08,657 Donnie? 315 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:12,786 Drink up, bitch. 316 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,413 -[thuds] -[all groan] Oh! 317 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:15,497 -[Sean] Snap. -[Jeremy] Fuck! 318 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,624 What was that? 319 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,666 [Becky] Oh! 320 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,335 -Why? -[laughing] 321 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,003 Fuck! 322 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,213 Well, nature's great, but it's still spring break. 323 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,257 And I'm ready to rage. 324 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:26,800 Let the games begin. 325 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:30,054 Actually, Sarah, this is a bros trip that you're intruding on. 326 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,597 Indigonanza's our thing. 327 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,683 So I'm gonna be the one who officially starts everything off. 328 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,601 Okay. 329 00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:37,269 -Let-- -Indigonanza begin. 330 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,480 [Donnie chuckles] 331 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,357 Okay. Let-- 332 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,025 -Let Indigonanza begin. -This is my thing. 333 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,027 Guys, it's important to him, so... 334 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,820 Let Indigonanza... 335 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,781 begin. 336 00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:50,616 -[whoops] -[rap music plays] 337 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,743 I liked it better when she said it. 338 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,288 ♪ Turn down for what, turn down for what Turn down for what ♪ 339 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,666 ♪ We don't turn down for what We in VIP, yellin' ♪ 340 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,209 ♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪ 341 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,795 ♪ We all VIP, yellin' More bottles, more bitches ♪ 342 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:05,089 ♪ We in VIP, yellin' More bottles, more bitches ♪ 343 00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:08,300 ♪ We in VIP, yellin' More bottles, more bitches ♪ 344 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,594 ♪ Hey, more bottles of that rosé ♪ 345 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,846 ♪ More redbones that look like Solé ♪ 346 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,391 ♪ Booty fatter than a burrito From Chick-fil-A ♪ 347 00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:18,060 ♪ I'm trying to take that ass home Like Triple-A ♪ 348 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,813 [all laughing] 349 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:23,023 ♪ You better, you better Listen what the core say ♪ 350 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,275 ♪ Turn down for what Turn down for what ♪ 351 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,987 ♪ Unless you turning her Face down and ass up ♪ 352 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,656 ♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪ 353 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,617 ♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪ 354 00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:36,120 ♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪ 355 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,664 ♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪ 356 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,418 [inaudible] 357 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:47,006 [Becky] I mean, look at him. [laughs] 358 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,008 [whispering] He's going to town on that trail mix. 359 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,843 Do you still have your bong bear? 360 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:51,969 Yeah, I do. 361 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,263 -[Sarah] Get over there and make a move. -[burps] 362 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,682 [whispering] You should fuck my sister. 363 00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:59,935 -[in normal voice] I'm gonna piss. -Thanks for letting me know. 364 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,520 -[Sarah] Go get 'em. -[Becky] Okay. 365 00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,439 -Nice ass. -[Becky] Okay. Fine. 366 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,275 [clicks tongue] Hey! 367 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,278 -Quit hogging that trail mix. -[Sean] Okay. 368 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,780 [Becky and Sean laugh] 369 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,366 -[Becky] Oh... -Coming in. 370 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,995 -[Sean] Beep, beep, beep. -No, that's enough. Thank you. [chuckles] 371 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,794 Uh, so did you hear about the-- the bear thing? 372 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,047 -No. -Yeah. 373 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,215 Here's one right now. Oh! 374 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,092 -Whoa! What? -What? 375 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,136 -It's just a-- It's a bong bear. -The bear bong. 376 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,096 Bear bong! [chuckles] 377 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:41,935 Hey, if you wanted, we could... we could go hot box the tent later. 378 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,522 We could do that. 379 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:46,857 -I'm free now. -You're free? 380 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,735 Uh, that's kind of perfect, 'cause I'm free. 381 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:52,279 -Yeah, our schedules lined up perfectly. -[laughs] 382 00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,073 -Uh, let's go now. -Okay! 383 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,074 -Here we go. -Cool. 384 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,366 Oh, my God. Did you hear that? 385 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,452 Jeremy's talking to himself. We gotta fuck with him. 386 00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:00,412 We gotta go. We gotta go right now. Let's go. 387 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,539 -Sorry. -[Jeremy speaking indistinctly] 388 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:03,916 Bye. 389 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,501 This knife is so sharp, 390 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,419 it can cut piss. 391 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:10,255 Oh, what's that? 392 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:14,051 -Are you pissing on this endangered fern? -[whispering] What the fuck is he doing? 393 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:18,055 Oh, shit, it's an anthill. [chuckling] I'd better get 'em. 394 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:18,972 Let's get him. 395 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,225 -We approach a wild teen. -You're dead! 396 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,352 -[blade slicing] -[screams] 397 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,658 -Oh, shit. I think I cut myself. -Did you-- Did you just... 398 00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,243 -[spurting] -Oh, no! 399 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,495 Why-- why are you looking down there? 400 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,664 Keep your eyes above... No. What are you doing? 401 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,249 That's not okay. That's... 402 00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:53,674 [all scream] 403 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,385 Where'd my dick go? Did you see my dick, Sean? 404 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,386 Sean, you didn't it? 405 00:18:57,469 --> 00:19:00,097 What about you, Donnie? [crying] Did you see my dick? 406 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,432 -[gasps] -What is-- What is happening? 407 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,394 -I just cut off my dick. -Jeremy, is this a fucking prank? 408 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,312 Don't be stupid. Come on, show me your dick. 409 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,814 I cut off my dick, Becky! 410 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:13,652 -I cut my dick off! -[thunder rumbling] 411 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,904 -Oh, my God, it's not a prank. -[Sean] Help! Help him! 412 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,614 [Jeremy crying, moaning] 413 00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,408 I don't think it'll be okay. 414 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,076 You'll be fine, man. We'll lay you down. 415 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,828 -[all grunt] -[Sean] Come on. 416 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,413 Here we go. Put this under his head. 417 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,708 Shit. That's a lot of blood, goddammit! That's a lot of blood. 418 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:30,627 -[groans] I'm gonna fucking die. -[Donnie] Jeremy's gonna die. 419 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,880 We can all stand here and have a meltdown 420 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,132 or we can get our shit together and save Jeremy. 421 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:36,633 Oh, my God, I'm gonna die! 422 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,678 -We need to call 911, now. -[Sean] Yeah, get our phones. 423 00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,681 -Kendall... theater camp. -[Sean] My phone's in the van. 424 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,767 -[Donnie] Don't die. -Fuck. I don't have any service. Do you? 425 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:46,935 -I don't. -Fuck. Me neither. 426 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,812 -I got nothing. -Fuck. You don't have service? 427 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,564 Just-- Oh, give me one second to think. 428 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:53,025 Okay. I'm going to the top of the ridge. Give me your phones. 429 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,152 Okay. One of them has to have service, right? 430 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,613 -What's the passcodes? -3-5-3-2. 431 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,574 69-69, which is pretty ironic now. 432 00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:03,035 -Mine's 0-0-4-7. -0-0-4-7. 433 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,828 -Go. -What's your passcode, Donnie? 434 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,663 -All ones, dude. All ones. -Okay. 435 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,834 Guys! Hey, guys, in times like these, we-- we gotta... Fucking... 436 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,586 -[Donnie] Just go! -[Sarah] Get out of here! 437 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:15,088 -[Sean] Yeah, I'm going! -[Becky] Oh, my God. Okay, Jeremy. 438 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,967 Someone... Someone needs to find the... penis. 439 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,427 -[Jeremy] Get my penis. -Okay. 440 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,929 -Get my penis. -[Donnie] Yeah. 441 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,805 Dude, I'm gonna get your fucking peen. 442 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,515 I'm taking this. I'm getting a flashlight. 443 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,809 -I'm gonna go with Donnie. -Yeah, I'll stay with Jeremy. 444 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,604 -It's gonna be okay, right? All good? -It's gonna be okay. Yeah. 445 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,731 You're gonna get my dick. I'm gonna get my dick back. 446 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,274 Yeah, we're gonna find it. 447 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,819 Just for scale, what am I looking for? Like half this? A-- a quarter? 448 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,030 I'm not gonna tell her how big my dick is. 449 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,366 -I'm gonna take it as a quarter. -[Jeremy groans] 450 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,409 If this doesn't work out, Becky, 451 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,912 -I'm gonna be your sister now. -Okay. 452 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,705 -You already have the hair for it. -Yeah. 453 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,544 Hey! That is a cliff. 454 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:58,090 All right. [clears throat] Okay. [panting] 455 00:20:58,173 --> 00:20:59,800 Nope. All right, come on. 456 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,469 Crap. No, come on! Come on! 457 00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:04,012 Come on! Bars! Bars! We got bars! 458 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,682 We got bars. Oh, baby mama. 459 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,685 All right. I can hear you now. 460 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:11,645 Fuck yeah. 461 00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:13,146 [line ringing] 462 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,065 [operator] 911, what's your emergency? 463 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,358 Hello! Hello! Hello! 464 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,404 911. I have a medical emergency. I need a medevac pronto. 465 00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:24,783 My friend has lost his penis. He cut it off. I think it was an accident. 466 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:25,701 Okay. 467 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,247 [Sarah] Okay. Come on. Okay. 468 00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:32,332 -[Sarah and Donnie groan] -[Sarah] Fuck. 469 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,292 Shit! 470 00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:34,960 [grunts] 471 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,923 -If I was a dick, where would I be? -You are a dick. That shouldn't be hard. 472 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,091 -[Donnie grunts] -Oh, my God. 473 00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:42,134 -[Donnie] What? -Found it! 474 00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,218 [Donnie] Where? 475 00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:44,761 [Sarah] Oh. 476 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,596 It's a pine cone. 477 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,889 It's gotta be here somewhere. 478 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,017 I mean, how fucking far could this dick fly? 479 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:52,602 It could be anywhere within a thousand-foot radius. 480 00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:55,522 [operator] Okay, sir, I'm triangulating your current location. 481 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:57,190 -Uh... -[phone beeps] 482 00:21:57,524 --> 00:22:00,569 "Hey, babe, I'm sorry I was an idiot. Where are you?" 483 00:22:01,069 --> 00:22:03,905 "I bailed on Cancun. Are you at your house?" 484 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,116 -Oh, come on. -We're sending a medevac helicopter. 485 00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:07,367 Okay, yes. Thank you. 486 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:08,285 [phone beeps] 487 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:11,455 "I want to make this work. I miss you. You're the shit." 488 00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:16,460 Crash the boards, Sean. 489 00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:20,630 Fuck Chad, man. Fuck you. 490 00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:23,550 You're a... 491 00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,472 dirty taint. 492 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,057 Fuck, yeah. 493 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,477 Shit. 494 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,436 Send. 495 00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:35,729 [sighs] 496 00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:38,899 Fucking send. 497 00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:42,194 -Send it. Come on. -Did you get a signal? 498 00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:44,279 [both scream, gasp] 499 00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:47,032 -Oh! -Sean? 500 00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:50,285 Please tell me that wasn't all the phones. 501 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,244 No, no. 502 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:55,207 -I mean, yes, it was... -It was. 503 00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:57,751 ...all the phones. But, hey, hey, I called 911. 504 00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,379 I talked to them. They're gonna send a medevac in 30 minutes. 505 00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:02,005 -So... So that's good! -Okay. 506 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,423 -Yeah! -Let's go. Let's go. 507 00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:04,716 That's-- All right. 508 00:23:06,259 --> 00:23:08,970 Hold on! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Whoa! 509 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,430 It's a fucking mushroom, dude. 510 00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:13,517 -Everything looks like a dick at night! -What is that? 511 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:14,893 Hmm? 512 00:23:14,976 --> 00:23:17,479 Is that a piece of coyote scat? Are there coyotes here? 513 00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,148 That's not shit. 514 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,484 [Sarah] What do you mean? 515 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:24,194 That's Jeremy's dick. 516 00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:25,195 Oh, my God. 517 00:23:25,904 --> 00:23:28,031 [retches] 518 00:23:31,618 --> 00:23:32,619 Damn it. 519 00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,414 I'm gonna get some sticks to pick that up with. 520 00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:37,165 [groans] 521 00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:39,042 -The medevac's on its way. -[sighs] 522 00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,127 We got the dick! 523 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:41,711 -Yes. -And Sarah puked on it. 524 00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:43,380 -[Sarah] Donnie! -Sean lost the phones. 525 00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:44,339 [both] What? 526 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,550 First my dick, and now my 7, Sean! 527 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,428 Is my pee-pee okay? 528 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,721 -Okay. We gotta keep this warm. -Okay. 529 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,433 Where is it? I wanna see it. Where-- 530 00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:55,934 [Sarah] Warm it up, baby. Come on. 531 00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:57,727 -Whoa! -What are you doing? 532 00:23:57,811 --> 00:24:00,272 I'm keeping the capillaries open. Stop yelling at me. 533 00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,565 You gotta put that on ice! 534 00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:03,775 I don't know. They don't teach you this in health class. 535 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,861 My dick is on a stick! 536 00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:07,946 -Gotta put it on some ice. -Ice, ice! 537 00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:12,117 [Becky and Sarah] Ew! 538 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:30,260 [sighs] 539 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,721 Do you think the helicopter is gonna find us? 540 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,433 I hope so. 541 00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:38,768 Yeah, I do. Yeah. 542 00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,982 [Jeremy] ♪ I think I did it again ♪ 543 00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:47,861 ♪ I made you believe ♪ 544 00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:51,698 ♪ We're more than just friends ♪ 545 00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:53,617 [whispering] Is this normal? 546 00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:57,078 It's from his Britney Spears musical he's writing with his fake girlfriend. 547 00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:01,333 ♪ Oh, baby, it might... ♪ 548 00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:05,128 [Donnie and Jeremy] ♪ ...seem like a crush ♪ 549 00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:08,507 ♪ But it doesn't mean ♪ 550 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:13,386 ♪ That I'm serious ♪ 551 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:20,894 [all joining in] ♪ 'Cause to lose all my senses ♪ 552 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:25,982 -[sniffles] -♪ That is just so typically me ♪ 553 00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:28,902 ♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪ 554 00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:32,531 ♪ Oops, I did it again ♪ 555 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:36,159 ♪ I played with your heart ♪ 556 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:39,663 ♪ Got lost in the game ♪ 557 00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:41,706 ♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪ 558 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:45,752 ♪ Oops, you think I'm in love ♪ 559 00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:49,756 -♪ That I'm sent from above ♪ -[helicopter blades whirring] 560 00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:52,008 -Hey! Look at this! -[Jeremy] ♪ I'm not ♪ 561 00:25:52,092 --> 00:25:55,053 -Yes! Yay! -♪ That innocent ♪ 562 00:25:55,136 --> 00:25:57,931 -[all shouting] -[Sean] Over here! Come on! Hey! 563 00:25:58,056 --> 00:25:59,432 -Wait. Where are you going? -[Sarah] Hey! 564 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:01,476 Oh, my God. It didn't see us. It didn't see us. 565 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,519 [Donnie] Okay. 566 00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:05,605 -This. This'll get their attention. -What are you doing? 567 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,148 Fuck this! Everybody run. 568 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:09,025 -[Sean] What? Oh, my God. -[Sarah] Oh, my God. 569 00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:10,902 What? Yo! Yo! 570 00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:13,071 [Donnie] Get your head down, Jeremy. 571 00:26:13,154 --> 00:26:14,906 Fuck you, Donnie! 572 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,492 [screams] Oh... Okay. 573 00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:19,035 Guys? 574 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,746 -What the fuck? -Guys! 575 00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:24,165 Seriously? 576 00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:28,003 Wow, Donnie, I am so impressed. This is some of your best work. 577 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,057 [screams] 578 00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:42,726 Becky! Becky! 579 00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:43,768 [shrieks] 580 00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:47,022 -What the fuck! -Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 581 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:49,482 -[Jeremy continues screaming] -Damn, that was dope. 582 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:50,734 -[Becky] You okay? -[Jeremy] No. 583 00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:52,152 [Sarah] Holy shit. That was crazy. 584 00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:55,113 -Oh, hey! It worked! Hey, we're here! -[all shouting] 585 00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:58,575 -Let's get the dick. I got it. Let's go. -[Becky] Let's go, Jeremy. 586 00:26:58,658 --> 00:27:01,077 -[Jeremy groaning] -[Sean] Oh, hey! 587 00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:02,787 Hey, guys. Come on! 588 00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,376 -[Sarah] Hey, look! Hey! -[Sean] Hey! 589 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,419 -[Donnie] Hey! -[Becky] Hi. 590 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,713 Hey! 591 00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:17,218 We'll get him to East General Hospital, ASAP. 592 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:21,014 As long as it's within twelve hours, a severed member can still be reattached. 593 00:27:21,097 --> 00:27:22,265 -Yes! -Okay, thank you. 594 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,059 [man] Your friends did a good job. You're gonna be okay. 595 00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:24,976 [Becky] Thank you! 596 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,562 Whose idea was it to set off the fireball? 597 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:28,855 That was all me, dude. 598 00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:30,273 You're a fucking idiot! 599 00:27:30,357 --> 00:27:32,609 We saw you guys on our initial approach. 600 00:27:32,692 --> 00:27:35,987 Hike down to your car and you can meet him at the hospital. 601 00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:38,657 Okay. [laughing] Okay, okay. Hey. 602 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:42,410 You're gonna be okay. Yeah. We're gonna see you at the hospital, okay? 603 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,330 Becky, you need to shut the fuck up. You're wasting time. We gotta go. 604 00:27:45,413 --> 00:27:46,456 Okay, yeah! Yeah! 605 00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:48,416 -He's not gonna die! -He's gonna be fine. 606 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:52,337 -[whoops] -[Sean] Stay strong, Jeremy! 607 00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:53,797 [Sarah] Bye, Jeremy. 608 00:27:57,258 --> 00:27:59,469 Look. He's reverse-Terminator-ing. 609 00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:00,720 That's epic. 610 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,892 Okay. He's gonna be okay. 611 00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:08,395 -[laughs] -Oh, my God. Thank God. 612 00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:14,609 -[giggles] He's good. -He's good. 613 00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:20,115 -[all laughing] -[crying, sniffles] 614 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:21,366 Whoo! 615 00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:46,474 -[Becky] He really lost a lot of blood. -[Sarah] Yeah, man, I'm covered. 616 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,853 Can I propose a little toast to the first responders? 617 00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:51,771 -[Sean] Yes. -May the heroes that-- 618 00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:56,025 -Guys? -What? 619 00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:58,111 -What? -Guys! 620 00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:00,321 What? Ah! 621 00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:04,242 -What is it? [gasps] -[Sarah] What? [gasps] 622 00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:09,581 Sean? 623 00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:12,208 You gave the EMT the wrong cooler? 624 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:15,378 No! No, no. No way. 625 00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:17,964 -Wait. Wait, we have the dick! -Donnie, no! 626 00:29:18,047 --> 00:29:19,841 -[Donnie] Wait! Come back! -[all shouting] Oh! 627 00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:23,011 -[groans] Oh, shit! -[Sarah] The ice... 628 00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:33,271 -[Donnie sighs] -[sighs] 629 00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:34,898 We have my brother's dick. 630 00:29:35,356 --> 00:29:37,734 With no ice and no phones. 631 00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:41,321 -[Becky] We have 12 hours, right? -Yeah, I think the EMT meant if it's, 632 00:29:41,404 --> 00:29:42,322 you know, on ice. 633 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:44,741 Oh, shit! Oh, wait. They-- they-- 634 00:29:44,824 --> 00:29:46,034 They also told us to hike down. 635 00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,744 They probably don't think we're here anymore. 636 00:29:47,827 --> 00:29:50,163 Shit. Look, I'm willing to wait and see. 637 00:29:50,246 --> 00:29:52,373 But by that time, Jeremy's dick is gonna be rotten 638 00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:53,416 and have flies on it-- 639 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:55,835 No, no, no, no, we can't freak out. Don't freak out. 640 00:29:56,252 --> 00:29:57,170 We'll hike down. 641 00:29:57,545 --> 00:30:01,466 We'll... We'll find someone with ice or a phone along the way. 642 00:30:01,716 --> 00:30:02,967 And worst case, 643 00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:06,763 we'll be back in the parking lot in, like, six or seven hours. 644 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:08,765 This is gonna work. 645 00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,186 Yeah, okay, Becky's right. Let's do this. 646 00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:15,021 This is gonna work. That's a good plan. 647 00:30:16,731 --> 00:30:19,234 Okay, let's leave our shit. We'll move faster. 648 00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:21,277 -Okay. It's gonna be a long way. -Okay, let's go. 649 00:30:21,694 --> 00:30:22,529 [Sarah] Okay. 650 00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:29,327 [man, echoing] Hey, stay with us. Don't head for the light! 651 00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:30,537 Hang in there, buddy. 652 00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:33,206 We got a male. Severed penis. Cut clean to the base. 653 00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:35,291 -[woman] Oh, shit. -[man] What? 654 00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:38,127 [woman] There's no penis. It's just two cans of Flittson. 655 00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:39,295 My dick isn't in there? 656 00:30:39,879 --> 00:30:42,715 Just cans. There's literally no penis. It's just two cans of beer. 657 00:30:43,007 --> 00:30:47,178 [echoing] You guys, where's my dick? 658 00:30:52,058 --> 00:30:53,726 [Sean] I don't think this is a good plan. 659 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:57,063 I told Becky it was. We've been hiking for over an hour, and there's no one. 660 00:30:57,146 --> 00:31:00,692 [Donnie] Of course it's not a good plan. There are no good plans in this situation. 661 00:31:00,775 --> 00:31:02,235 Look, um... [sighs] 662 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,444 -Dude. -What? 663 00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:05,572 -Uh, he texted her. -Who texted her? 664 00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:07,031 -Chad. -What? 665 00:31:07,156 --> 00:31:09,033 When I was calling 911 from Becky's phone, 666 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:10,451 -[groans] -Chad texted, 667 00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:11,828 and said he wants to get back together. 668 00:31:11,911 --> 00:31:14,122 -Rent cast party, man. -Yeah, I, um... 669 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,583 Oh, man, I think I fucked up. 670 00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:19,252 I, like, I think I texted him back as her. 671 00:31:20,086 --> 00:31:22,255 [Donnie] Whoa. That is epic. What did you say? 672 00:31:22,338 --> 00:31:25,216 I said, "Fuck you," and then I called him a dirty taint. 673 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,718 -[laughs] -Guys! Guys? 674 00:31:27,218 --> 00:31:29,095 We're gonna stop and pee really quick. 675 00:31:29,178 --> 00:31:31,848 Ginger Pablo Escobar, please keep your eyes downhill. 676 00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:33,975 [Donnie] Ha! Hope you pee on your shoes. 677 00:31:34,642 --> 00:31:35,727 People are noticing. 678 00:31:35,810 --> 00:31:37,687 It still looks like you blew Chester Cheetah. 679 00:31:37,770 --> 00:31:39,272 -Oh, shit! -What? 680 00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,399 -Is Donnie coming to perv on me? -[Becky] No. 681 00:31:41,482 --> 00:31:42,734 Hey, Sean! 682 00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:46,070 Sean, there's a ranger lookout station. They might have ice. 683 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:47,906 Hey, that's good. 684 00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:49,407 That's awesome. Let's go. 685 00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:51,910 -♪ I'm gonna win for you ♪ -Sorry. 686 00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:55,121 -♪ Like I know you want me to do ♪ -Over there. Come on. 687 00:31:55,204 --> 00:31:56,623 -♪ Hey! ♪ -Let's go! 688 00:31:57,206 --> 00:31:58,291 Let's go! 689 00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:00,710 [Sean] Hello? 690 00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:03,296 -Hello, anybody? -[Donnie] Hello? 691 00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:05,715 -Hello? -Hello? 692 00:32:06,215 --> 00:32:08,593 We need some help! It's an emergency! 693 00:32:08,676 --> 00:32:09,844 -Excuse me? -Hello? 694 00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,220 [Becky and Donnie] Hello? 695 00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:12,347 Is anybody home? 696 00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,307 Seems like we have to break into this bitch. 697 00:32:14,390 --> 00:32:15,808 What? We're not doing that. 698 00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,560 I don't know. This is government property. 699 00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:18,853 I feel like it would be... 700 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,104 a bad idea. 701 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,065 Damn. 702 00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:24,984 But, yeah, you know, this is a time-sensitive case 703 00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:26,819 so it's a good call. It's a good call. 704 00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:35,370 -[all sigh] -[Donnie] Mm, it's empty. 705 00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:36,579 [Sarah] Great. 706 00:32:39,999 --> 00:32:42,251 [Donnie] Please have ice. Please have ice. 707 00:32:42,377 --> 00:32:44,420 -[flies buzzing] -[Becky] Oh, dude. No, close that. 708 00:32:45,421 --> 00:32:46,714 [coughs] 709 00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:49,425 Well maybe there's still a phone or radio or something, right? 710 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:50,802 -Yeah? Yeah. -Yeah. Okay. 711 00:32:56,349 --> 00:32:58,893 -[rattling] -[screaming] Oh, my God! 712 00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,520 Oh, my God! 713 00:33:00,603 --> 00:33:01,562 [all gasp] 714 00:33:05,274 --> 00:33:06,818 -[Sarah] Oh! -[Becky] No, no, no. 715 00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:08,903 I think the rattlesnake bit the dick. 716 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:11,030 [Donnie] Oh, my God. A snake bit the dick? 717 00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:12,865 We have to get the venom out somehow. 718 00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:14,826 -Yeah. How do we do that? -We have to get it out. 719 00:33:14,909 --> 00:33:17,495 Maybe if we shake it a lot, the venom will pour out. 720 00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:18,871 No, we have to, uh... 721 00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,543 Someone has to suck it out. 722 00:33:27,130 --> 00:33:31,092 It seems only fair that the person who's had that dick in their mouth do it. 723 00:33:33,594 --> 00:33:35,555 Donnie, what the fuck are you talking about? 724 00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:39,183 -I'm obviously referring to Becky. -What? 725 00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:43,104 You guys shared a womb together, so obviously at some point in the dark... 726 00:33:43,229 --> 00:33:45,481 -that dick went in your mouth. -This idiot. 727 00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:47,859 -Are you fucking kidding me? -Fumbling around. 728 00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:51,571 Donnie, I didn't suck his fetus penis when I was in the womb. 729 00:33:51,654 --> 00:33:53,031 I am his sister. 730 00:33:53,114 --> 00:33:55,074 I am obviously the last person to suck the dick. 731 00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:57,744 -You're sucking before I do. -[Donnie] I'm sucking... [laughs] 732 00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:59,829 I am not sucking my brother's dick. End of story. 733 00:33:59,912 --> 00:34:02,331 The women should suck the dick. We don't even know how. 734 00:34:02,415 --> 00:34:06,127 It's not even the same kind of sucking, you stupid idiot. 735 00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:09,756 -[Donnie] I am not going to do it! -[Sarah] You should. This is your fault. 736 00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:11,883 -[Becky] Yeah, you should. -I'll do it. 737 00:34:12,258 --> 00:34:16,471 I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll suck it! I will suck the dick. 738 00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:19,724 I lost the phones. 739 00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:22,018 I gave them the wrong cooler. 740 00:34:24,103 --> 00:34:25,188 I'll suck the penis. 741 00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:28,775 -It's really cool of you. Thanks. -Yeah. 742 00:34:29,108 --> 00:34:29,984 Just, uh... 743 00:34:31,444 --> 00:34:32,779 I'd like to do it... 744 00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:34,947 alone. 745 00:34:35,531 --> 00:34:36,574 Yeah, you got it. 746 00:34:36,657 --> 00:34:38,367 -I'll tell your story. -Okay. 747 00:34:38,993 --> 00:34:39,952 You're a hero. 748 00:34:40,036 --> 00:34:40,912 Yup. 749 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:49,003 You da man. 750 00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:18,157 [gulps] 751 00:35:19,075 --> 00:35:19,909 Thanks. 752 00:35:22,203 --> 00:35:23,037 [clears throat] 753 00:35:24,580 --> 00:35:26,999 Man, we came all the way up here for nothing. 754 00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:31,587 I really fucked this up. I'm sorry. 755 00:35:32,004 --> 00:35:34,924 What now? We're just gonna run down this mountain and pray that J-Tron's D 756 00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:36,509 doesn't fester before the car? 757 00:35:37,677 --> 00:35:39,804 We've only been hiking for three hours. 758 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,515 That means we still have nine hours. 759 00:35:42,598 --> 00:35:45,935 -That was before it got bit by a snake. -[high-pitched whining] 760 00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:48,688 You guys hear that? 761 00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,066 Dude, look! 762 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:53,860 [Becky] A drone? 763 00:35:54,735 --> 00:35:56,154 Wait a minute. Wait. 764 00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:57,405 If there's a drone, 765 00:35:57,488 --> 00:36:00,449 that means there's a person, and they probably have a phone. 766 00:36:01,242 --> 00:36:03,703 We should-- We should follow it. Let's go get Sean. 767 00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,747 -Sean! Sean, there's a drone-- Oh! -[loud sucking] 768 00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:08,040 [all screaming] 769 00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:10,543 -[yelps] Don't look at me! -Sorry. Sorry. 770 00:36:10,626 --> 00:36:14,422 Uh, it's just-- There's a drone, so there's people, and we need to go now. 771 00:36:14,505 --> 00:36:16,424 Oh, my God. That's great. Okay. Um... 772 00:36:16,507 --> 00:36:20,303 Just-- Stop looking. One second. I gotta... [sucks loudly] 773 00:36:20,386 --> 00:36:22,180 I'm getting a lot of venom out of this thing. 774 00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:24,265 [drone buzzing] 775 00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:28,269 [Donnie] Hey! 776 00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,065 Come here! [pants] 777 00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:35,193 [Sarah] There. Get it. 778 00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:36,861 [Sean] Stop! 779 00:36:37,486 --> 00:36:39,488 [all panting] 780 00:36:40,573 --> 00:36:42,867 -Where'd it go? -Does anybody see it? 781 00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:46,621 Oh! There it goes. 782 00:36:47,079 --> 00:36:48,039 I got this shit. 783 00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:20,154 [inaudible] 784 00:37:22,949 --> 00:37:24,242 [Sarah screams] 785 00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:26,035 -[yelps] Sarah! -Oh, shit! 786 00:37:26,118 --> 00:37:26,953 Fuck! 787 00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:29,872 -Oh, my God! [gasps] Oh! -Fuck! 788 00:37:30,164 --> 00:37:31,832 I got it! [laughs] 789 00:37:32,541 --> 00:37:35,044 -[Becky] Are you okay? -[Sarah] Yeah, totally! 790 00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,422 -There are people there. They have a boat. -[Donnie] Nice! 791 00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:39,757 Watch this. 792 00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:43,261 Let's get wet! [screams] 793 00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:45,012 -[Sean] Oh, shit. -[Becky] Oh, my God. 794 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:49,767 -[laughing] Holy fuck. -Whoo! 795 00:37:49,850 --> 00:37:50,768 Yeah! 796 00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:52,812 -That was pretty cool. -Yeah. 797 00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,022 Yeah. It looks easy. He made it look easy! 798 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:57,400 -Yeah. Do-- do you wanna go next? -Yeah! 799 00:37:57,733 --> 00:37:58,859 Yeah, yeah. No, I'll go. 800 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:02,280 Hey, I get the feeling that you maybe don't wanna jump. 801 00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:05,574 So, uh, we can try to find a way to hike down. 802 00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:08,202 -No, I wanna-- I want to go. -Okay. 803 00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:09,829 Es geht um die Wurst, ja? 804 00:38:09,912 --> 00:38:11,998 Which means "it's do or die" in German. 805 00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:13,916 Actually, the literal German translation is, 806 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,918 "it's all about sausage," which is funny-- 807 00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:18,254 Are you making a dick joke right now? We, like, gotta go. 808 00:38:18,337 --> 00:38:19,922 Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, okay. Let's do it. 809 00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:21,048 -Let's do it. -All right. 810 00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:24,302 I'm not gonna take the long way, I'm gonna take the Sean way, huh? 811 00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:26,095 -Oh, shit! -[Becky] Oh, my God! 812 00:38:26,178 --> 00:38:28,347 -Fuck! Oh, fuck. -[Donnie] Oh! 813 00:38:30,516 --> 00:38:33,227 [screaming] 814 00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:35,771 Yeah! 815 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,275 I'm good! I'm good! Whoo! 816 00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:44,447 -[all panting] -So, the "Sean way" is going for 817 00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:47,033 the maximum amount of pain you can inflict on your body? 818 00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:48,951 No, no. Honestly, it didn't hurt that much. 819 00:38:49,035 --> 00:38:52,455 It was actually really fun. I actually-- It was a fun ride. 820 00:38:52,538 --> 00:38:53,998 -[Donnie groans] -Ooh. 821 00:38:54,081 --> 00:38:55,541 Oh, my God. 822 00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:58,044 Dude, uh, your back is like... 823 00:38:58,836 --> 00:38:59,670 red raw. 824 00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,507 -[Sean wails] -[laughs] 825 00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:05,593 [Sean, groaning] Oh my-- Oh, my God. 826 00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:07,636 -[helicopter blades whirring] -Oh, fuck me. 827 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:08,763 You guys, look. 828 00:39:09,388 --> 00:39:10,348 Huh? 829 00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:14,685 -[Donnie] Oh! That's so dumb. -[all mumbling] 830 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:18,230 They fucking came back. And we're not there. That's awesome. 831 00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:21,275 [screams] Ow! 832 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,820 -Damn it! -All right, man! Jesus. We're all mad. 833 00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:26,739 No, the wind blew against my back. 834 00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:28,407 It's okay. I'm fine. 835 00:39:29,116 --> 00:39:30,284 -[screams] -[laughs] 836 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,202 What? 837 00:39:31,911 --> 00:39:34,914 You guys, come on. Let's... Let's just keep going. 838 00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:38,793 -[woman speaking indistinctly over PA] -[monitor beeping] 839 00:39:40,252 --> 00:39:43,130 -The helicopter went back to the campsite. -Yes. 840 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,216 -But your friends weren't there. -No. 841 00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:49,595 So, the doctor's gonna need to operate before this gets infected. 842 00:39:49,678 --> 00:39:51,263 Okay. No, my friends, 843 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:53,724 they'll-- they'll get me my penis back. I know they will. 844 00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:58,062 Okay, I know they will, too. If they don't, though, you'll be fine. 845 00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:02,525 We can do a full penal reconstruction using a graft from your forearm or glute. 846 00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,110 The results are fantastic. 847 00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:06,195 -Really? -Absolutely. 848 00:40:06,278 --> 00:40:08,280 In addition to increased self-esteem, 849 00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,658 most patients report successful ejaculation 850 00:40:10,741 --> 00:40:12,326 in ten percent of sexual encounters. 851 00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:15,246 On a pleasure scale, we're hitting mid- to high-threes. 852 00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:16,539 Is that good? 853 00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:18,290 Those numbers sound bad. 854 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:21,210 Well, in comparison with not having a penis, 855 00:40:21,293 --> 00:40:22,795 I think those numbers sound great. 856 00:40:22,878 --> 00:40:25,131 Okay. I will wait for my dick. 857 00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:29,051 I have a strong dick. I know it'll last days out in the wild. 858 00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:29,969 No. 859 00:40:30,052 --> 00:40:32,847 Everyone thinks their penis is special. It's not. 860 00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:37,184 Okay? It's like one of these flowers. Right? 861 00:40:37,726 --> 00:40:41,188 If you remove it from the body, cut off its flow of blood, 862 00:40:41,689 --> 00:40:45,651 and then eventually, if left on its own, it will wilt... 863 00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:47,278 and die. 864 00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:55,828 HBO's on Channel 3. 865 00:41:00,624 --> 00:41:02,209 Come on, guys. 866 00:41:03,169 --> 00:41:06,672 I know you're doing whatever it takes to get here as fast as you can. 867 00:41:08,716 --> 00:41:09,800 [Sean] Hey, Becky! 868 00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:14,346 [stammering] Hey, don't beat yourself up over the helicopter. 869 00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:17,558 I think you're doing great. I've always thought you were really great. 870 00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:20,811 [Becky] Uh, are you forgetting the time you totally rejected me? 871 00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:24,064 [Sean] That never happened. I don't remember that happening. 872 00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:27,276 [Becky] Come on. Remember the Rent cast party? 873 00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:30,112 -Kinda made a move. -I... might remember. 874 00:41:31,071 --> 00:41:33,532 I had a momentary crush on you. 875 00:41:36,243 --> 00:41:38,454 -[Sean] You had a crush on me? -[Becky] I just thought-- 876 00:41:38,537 --> 00:41:40,539 [panting] Sean, emergency bro discussion. 877 00:41:40,623 --> 00:41:42,374 -[Sean] One sec, man. -911, Sean. 878 00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,877 -You better go. Sounds very important. -Sorry. 879 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,255 Sean, Sean, you are not gonna believe what I found in the woods. 880 00:41:48,589 --> 00:41:50,883 Wait till you feast your eyes on these. 881 00:41:52,426 --> 00:41:54,220 What are those? Why do you have those? 882 00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:57,097 When Sarah went behind that big bush to dry off or whatever, 883 00:41:57,181 --> 00:41:58,891 I went after her, 'cause I needed to pee. 884 00:41:58,974 --> 00:42:01,769 Okay, I find those waiting on a rock. 885 00:42:02,311 --> 00:42:03,354 For me. 886 00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:05,022 Knew she came to win me back. 887 00:42:05,105 --> 00:42:09,485 What? Maybe she just didn't want to wear wet underwear, you psychopath. 888 00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:11,612 That's like serial killer behavior. 889 00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:12,863 Okay, these are a sign. 890 00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:15,991 She wants us to be together. And you know what, Sean? 891 00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:18,035 I'll tell you the truth. I'm ready to forgive her. 892 00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:19,411 Forgive her for what? 893 00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,747 Over Christmas break, usual spot, 894 00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:23,165 abandoned church my grandma used to take me to. 895 00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:25,543 Before we start hooking up, I throw around I want a DTR. 896 00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:28,045 -She freaks out. -DTR? 897 00:42:28,128 --> 00:42:29,547 You said you wanted dick to rim? 898 00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:32,424 No. What? I wanted to "define the relationship." 899 00:42:32,508 --> 00:42:34,969 -What the fuck is dick to rim? -I don't know. Butt stuff. 900 00:42:35,469 --> 00:42:37,137 What has happened to you in Germany? 901 00:42:38,430 --> 00:42:41,308 Anyway, I tell her I wanna DTR. 902 00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:43,686 And she's all like, "Relationships are bullshit." 903 00:42:43,769 --> 00:42:45,771 Then I feel like an idiot. I don't know what to do. 904 00:42:45,854 --> 00:42:48,482 So I kick her out of a car... may or may not have been moving. 905 00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:51,110 -Wow, that's really mean. -I also told her... 906 00:42:51,193 --> 00:42:52,778 um, that I never liked her. 907 00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:55,364 -[clicks tongue] Wow, man. -And she was gaining weight. 908 00:42:59,034 --> 00:43:01,245 Sean! [whispering] This is a power play. 909 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:02,538 She wants me back. 910 00:43:02,621 --> 00:43:04,623 [Sean] Come on, Donnie. The camp's around this bend. 911 00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:09,003 -[Sarah] Hi! Hello. Hey, bud! -[Donnie] Hey, buddy. 912 00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:10,588 -[Sean] Hey, there. -[Becky] Hey, hi. 913 00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,047 -Oh, my God. -Okay. 914 00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:13,591 -[Donnie] Whoo! -[Sarah] Hey. 915 00:43:14,091 --> 00:43:15,259 I believe this belongs to you. 916 00:43:15,342 --> 00:43:19,221 And I believe you're the bitch that fucked it up! 917 00:43:19,305 --> 00:43:20,431 -What now? -Whoa. 918 00:43:20,514 --> 00:43:22,600 You better have cash to pay for this. 919 00:43:23,058 --> 00:43:25,269 Okay, uh, where are your parents? 920 00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:27,438 My dad went fly-fishing. 921 00:43:27,521 --> 00:43:29,565 What about the boat? Where are the keys? 922 00:43:29,648 --> 00:43:32,067 Because we're in an emergency, and we need some help. 923 00:43:32,192 --> 00:43:36,488 All right. If I'm gonna give you the keys, then I wanna see some stuff. 924 00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:39,700 -[laughing] Okay. -[laughs] 925 00:43:39,783 --> 00:43:42,828 -No. Ugh. -We are not going to show you our boobs. 926 00:43:42,911 --> 00:43:43,996 Bitch, please! 927 00:43:44,371 --> 00:43:46,290 I'm 11, not five. 928 00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:49,168 -I've seen thousands of titties. -[chuckles] 929 00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:51,629 I wanna see you two scissor. 930 00:43:51,712 --> 00:43:52,921 [gasps] 931 00:43:53,005 --> 00:43:54,048 -[Becky] Yeah! -[Sean] Oh! 932 00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:56,884 -Take that, you little perv. Gross. -That is inappropriate. 933 00:43:57,259 --> 00:43:59,136 I'm not helping you with shit! 934 00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:01,221 Stay the fuck away from me! 935 00:44:02,097 --> 00:44:04,558 -Kid's a monster. -Jesus Christ. 936 00:44:05,059 --> 00:44:06,477 I kind of love him, though. 937 00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:08,854 Okay, if we're not outta here in, like, an hour… 938 00:44:08,937 --> 00:44:11,357 -Jeremy will be dickless... -[Sarah] The rest of his life. 939 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,192 That's decades with no dick. 940 00:44:13,692 --> 00:44:15,277 No. We need that boat. 941 00:44:15,569 --> 00:44:17,488 Fuck this little baby Bieber wannabe. 942 00:44:17,863 --> 00:44:19,198 [Sarah] What are you doing? 943 00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:22,785 Listen here, you little terrorist. This is my brother's dick. 944 00:44:23,118 --> 00:44:25,537 He's in the hospital right now, and he needs us. 945 00:44:25,621 --> 00:44:28,999 We need your boat so we can get to the hospital to reattach it. 946 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:33,087 Listen, kid, when we're around, dicks get cut and dicks get sucked. 947 00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,630 I saw him suck this dick. 948 00:44:34,713 --> 00:44:37,299 I sucked that dick this morning. Now, give us the keys. 949 00:44:37,383 --> 00:44:39,551 [shrieks] 950 00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:40,928 [Becky] Yes! 951 00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:45,391 [Sean] All right. Tell your dad the boat's gonna be at the south campground lot. 952 00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:47,476 Jesus, Sean, that dick really fucked him up. 953 00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:49,645 He hasn't said a word since you showed him the dick. 954 00:44:49,728 --> 00:44:51,271 What if he never talks again? 955 00:44:53,315 --> 00:44:55,317 -[Sean] Whatever. Fuck this kid. -[Becky] The worst. 956 00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:56,652 [Donnie] Piece of shit, anyway. 957 00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,490 [man] Hey, buddy. 958 00:45:03,158 --> 00:45:05,411 Son are-- Are you okay? 959 00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:07,621 Dicks get cut. 960 00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,874 Dicks get sucked. 961 00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:15,796 -[Sarah] All right. I got you. -[Becky] Okay. 962 00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:17,756 Good God. Hey! 963 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,842 -Hey! -Oh, shit! 964 00:45:19,967 --> 00:45:23,387 -[Donnie] Oh, my God! Go! -Guys, we gotta go! 965 00:45:23,470 --> 00:45:26,557 -Go! Shit! There's too many keys. -[Sarah] I'm getting the anchor. 966 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,435 Hello, sir, I can completely explain what's going on here. 967 00:45:29,518 --> 00:45:31,395 What have you done to my son? 968 00:45:31,478 --> 00:45:33,188 It's a good thing you're-- Okay, fuck this. 969 00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,107 [man] I'll kill all of you perverts! 970 00:45:35,190 --> 00:45:37,818 -[Becky screams] -[man screams] 971 00:45:37,901 --> 00:45:40,362 -[man grunts] -[shrieks] 972 00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:42,531 -Hey, he has a bruise. Leave him alone. -[keys jingle] 973 00:45:42,614 --> 00:45:44,116 [yelps] You're a fucker! 974 00:45:44,199 --> 00:45:46,160 -Hit me again. I fucking dare you! -[grunts] 975 00:45:46,243 --> 00:45:49,329 -[screams] -Oh, my God. Ugh. Go. 976 00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:51,206 [Donnie] Let's go! Come on! Move! 977 00:45:51,331 --> 00:45:52,291 [Sarah] I got it! 978 00:45:52,374 --> 00:45:54,001 I'm gonna kill you, son of a bitch. 979 00:45:54,084 --> 00:45:55,169 Back the fuck up! 980 00:45:55,919 --> 00:45:58,005 -[laughs] -Oh, fuck. 981 00:45:58,088 --> 00:46:00,841 Oh, God. It's slipping, guys! 982 00:46:00,924 --> 00:46:03,886 Shit! He's Cliffhanger-ing! Oh, hold it, Sean. 983 00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:06,263 -Fucker! -[groans] 984 00:46:06,346 --> 00:46:08,432 -[Sarah] Oh, my God! Oh, my God. -I got it. 985 00:46:08,515 --> 00:46:11,018 [motor whirs] 986 00:46:11,101 --> 00:46:13,771 -[Donnie] Fucker! -[Sean] Auf Wiedersehen! 987 00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:15,439 [man] Hey! That's my boat! 988 00:46:15,522 --> 00:46:16,982 Come back with my boat! 989 00:46:17,649 --> 00:46:20,319 -[chuckles] Holy shit. -[Sean] Whoo! 990 00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:22,821 That was insane. 991 00:46:23,322 --> 00:46:26,074 -That guy tried to murder us. -Yeah. He was crazy. 992 00:46:26,241 --> 00:46:29,787 I mean, in all fairness, he probably thought we molested his kid. 993 00:46:29,870 --> 00:46:32,539 I shouldn't have said, "Dicks get cut and dicks get sucked." 994 00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:33,665 That was too much. 995 00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:36,210 Nice going, pinch hit. 996 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:39,254 [chuckles] Yeah, thanks. I learned from the best. 997 00:46:41,131 --> 00:46:43,842 When you nailed me in the head with a beer can. 998 00:46:44,301 --> 00:46:46,804 Oh, yeah. [laughs] That was awesome. 999 00:46:47,262 --> 00:46:48,347 [both laugh] 1000 00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:54,853 By the way, I got your sign and... message received. 1001 00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:56,939 -My sign? -Yeah. 1002 00:46:58,732 --> 00:46:59,566 Look familiar? 1003 00:47:01,109 --> 00:47:05,155 If I'm wearing your underwear, that means you're not wearing any. 1004 00:47:06,031 --> 00:47:07,533 Those aren't my underwear. 1005 00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:09,993 Oh, my-- Oh, my God. 1006 00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,370 Man, that's gross. 1007 00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:13,747 -Okay, don't tell anyone. -[Sarah chuckles] I-- 1008 00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,958 I really appreciate that you tried. 1009 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:19,378 I think we're actually gonna make it to the hospital in time. 1010 00:47:19,461 --> 00:47:21,421 -We're a good team. -[chuckles] Yeah. 1011 00:47:22,756 --> 00:47:25,759 -["Ruff Ryders' Anthem" playing] -♪ Stop, drop ♪ 1012 00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:27,845 -Yeah! -[Donnie] Yeah. 1013 00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:29,763 -Oh, yeah. -♪ Oh ♪ 1014 00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:31,849 Time to cooler it up. Whoo! 1015 00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:33,976 -[all exclaim] -♪ That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪ 1016 00:47:34,059 --> 00:47:37,145 -Whoo! Yeah! -♪ Stop, drop, shut 'em down ♪ 1017 00:47:37,229 --> 00:47:39,106 -♪ Open up shop ♪ -[Sean] Whoo! 1018 00:47:39,189 --> 00:47:44,111 ♪ Oh, no That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪ 1019 00:47:44,403 --> 00:47:46,154 [Donnie] Let's find Jeremy and get some ice. 1020 00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,657 -[Sean] Get that dick to the hospital! -[Sarah] God! Donnie! 1021 00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:49,616 Oh, my God. 1022 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:52,119 It's all crumbed. Like a churro. 1023 00:47:52,578 --> 00:47:55,205 -[Becky] Oh, my God. We made it! -Let's go get some ice. 1024 00:47:55,289 --> 00:47:56,123 Yes! 1025 00:47:57,624 --> 00:47:59,376 ♪ Shut 'em down, open up shop ♪ 1026 00:47:59,459 --> 00:48:01,712 -[Becky] Let's go! Let's go! -[horn honks] 1027 00:48:01,795 --> 00:48:03,797 [monitor beeping] 1028 00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:08,302 I have read the literature, and I've come to the conclusion 1029 00:48:08,385 --> 00:48:10,804 that I do not fucking want this, okay? 1030 00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,556 -I don't want a butt dick. -Hey! 1031 00:48:13,181 --> 00:48:16,518 Don't you yell at me. I'm not the one who got drunk and... Pfft. 1032 00:48:16,602 --> 00:48:19,396 Ob-- Obviously, you don't have a dick. 1033 00:48:19,479 --> 00:48:21,565 No, I don't have a dick! 1034 00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:23,734 No one in this room has a dick. 1035 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:26,194 Right? 1036 00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:28,864 -Yeah. -Okay. 1037 00:48:35,996 --> 00:48:37,998 Let's hope they're on their way. 1038 00:48:42,085 --> 00:48:43,670 [Sean] Think we should call your parents? 1039 00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,422 What's your mom's number? 1040 00:48:46,131 --> 00:48:47,299 Uh, it's... Uh... 1041 00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:50,594 [clicks tongue] I don't know it. 1042 00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:52,763 -At all? No? -No. Mm-mm. 1043 00:48:52,846 --> 00:48:56,892 I don't know. I just programmed them into my first phone. I was 11. 1044 00:48:56,975 --> 00:48:59,561 We can maybe check if they left a message on your phone. 1045 00:48:59,645 --> 00:49:01,396 [Becky] Don't leave a message, just text me. 1046 00:49:02,397 --> 00:49:04,650 [automated voice] You have one new message. 1047 00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:07,361 [guy] Fuck you, Becky. You're the taint. 1048 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:09,821 -Is that Chad? -You hear me? 1049 00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:11,073 -Um... -You're the real taint. 1050 00:49:11,156 --> 00:49:12,240 I'm glad this is over. 1051 00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,159 You deserve to be alone. 1052 00:49:14,451 --> 00:49:18,080 I want you to take that note I wrote you our four-month anniversary and burn it. 1053 00:49:18,163 --> 00:49:19,748 I don't mean any of that anymore. 1054 00:49:19,831 --> 00:49:20,749 -[banging on phone] -Ah! 1055 00:49:20,832 --> 00:49:22,876 You made me so mad, I dropped my vape! 1056 00:49:23,251 --> 00:49:26,672 You owe me a new vape, Becky. You hurt my feelings, dawg. 1057 00:49:26,755 --> 00:49:27,589 [phone beeps] 1058 00:49:29,591 --> 00:49:31,843 Becky, um, I have to tell you something. 1059 00:49:32,135 --> 00:49:33,178 When-- Um... 1060 00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:37,516 -I'm really sorry, but... -What? No, no. It's not your fault. 1061 00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,601 It's just really fucked up 1062 00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:43,105 how someone you thought cared about you can lie to your face. 1063 00:49:46,066 --> 00:49:46,942 Yeah. Yeah. 1064 00:49:47,567 --> 00:49:49,444 [engine revving] 1065 00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:54,032 [tires squeal] 1066 00:49:55,909 --> 00:49:58,954 Wow. Damn. Girl, you are a really good driver. 1067 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:00,789 -[chuckles] Thanks. -God. 1068 00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:03,375 You're like a young Furiosa. 1069 00:50:11,508 --> 00:50:13,135 [tires screech] 1070 00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:16,972 All right, man, we gotta get this dick on life support. 1071 00:50:17,055 --> 00:50:18,932 -We need bags and ice. -Oh, my God, dude. 1072 00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:20,726 This looks like a cat shat in a cooler. 1073 00:50:20,809 --> 00:50:22,436 -Oh, shit. -Ugh. 1074 00:50:22,561 --> 00:50:23,854 Should we... Should we clean it? 1075 00:50:23,937 --> 00:50:26,857 I'm fucked if I know. What do you even clean a dick with? 1076 00:50:26,940 --> 00:50:28,358 Doxycycline. 1077 00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:30,193 Or a Z-Pak. 1078 00:50:31,737 --> 00:50:34,156 I've had everything in the book. It works. Trust me. 1079 00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:36,867 Which one of you's is it? You? 1080 00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:38,827 You? 1081 00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:40,829 Or is it the ranger? 1082 00:50:40,912 --> 00:50:44,249 Yeah, actually it is for the-- the young, uh, ranger. 1083 00:50:44,332 --> 00:50:46,126 We need stuff to clean his wound. 1084 00:50:46,668 --> 00:50:47,961 A wounded soldier? 1085 00:50:48,503 --> 00:50:50,964 Um... We need to clean his, uh... 1086 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:57,137 [softly] Penis. 1087 00:50:57,637 --> 00:50:59,806 Three inches. Severed at the base. 1088 00:51:00,932 --> 00:51:02,184 I've seen this before. 1089 00:51:02,934 --> 00:51:03,894 You have? 1090 00:51:03,977 --> 00:51:07,564 It would be my honor and a privilege if I could do this for you. 1091 00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:11,860 -Let's do it. -Okay. 1092 00:51:11,943 --> 00:51:13,945 [chuckles softly] Let's do it! 1093 00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:16,239 All right, let's go. 1094 00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:17,783 [Donnie] He's been in this situation. 1095 00:51:17,866 --> 00:51:19,659 If we're gonna trust someone, it might as well be this guy. 1096 00:51:19,743 --> 00:51:21,453 [classical music playing] 1097 00:51:23,830 --> 00:51:25,082 Whoa, whoopsie. 1098 00:51:29,294 --> 00:51:30,670 [swishes] 1099 00:51:41,890 --> 00:51:43,225 [inhales sharply] 1100 00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:51,566 His dick's gonna be even better. 1101 00:52:03,411 --> 00:52:04,746 Wow. 1102 00:52:05,705 --> 00:52:07,374 [man] Fresh ice. Good as new. 1103 00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:10,669 Oh, wow. 1104 00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:12,921 That is amazing. 1105 00:52:13,004 --> 00:52:14,214 -[man] Yup. -[chuckles softly] 1106 00:52:14,297 --> 00:52:16,550 -Thank you. -My pleasure. 1107 00:52:17,425 --> 00:52:18,426 Good luck, soldiers. 1108 00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:19,928 -Hey, yeah. -[man] Oh, hey. 1109 00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:23,098 If you need anything, this is my card. 1110 00:52:24,474 --> 00:52:27,602 -Let your sergeant know what happened. -Absolutely. Will do. 1111 00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:29,312 Yeah. What the hell's that? 1112 00:52:30,021 --> 00:52:31,189 It's just my wallet. 1113 00:52:32,649 --> 00:52:35,986 -[Donnie] Ow! -Crestview High School. 1114 00:52:36,653 --> 00:52:37,737 Junior. 1115 00:52:39,614 --> 00:52:40,866 The hell's going on here? 1116 00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:43,076 [chuckles] It's just a really old high school ID. 1117 00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,202 Says it's from this year. 1118 00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:46,037 -Does it? Mm-hmm. -[man] Yeah. 1119 00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:47,372 -[Sean] Okay. -[Donnie] Fuck. 1120 00:52:49,207 --> 00:52:50,250 [man grunts] 1121 00:52:50,333 --> 00:52:53,712 Did you boys lie about being servicemen so you could buy alcohol? 1122 00:52:53,795 --> 00:52:55,630 [Sean] No. No, absolutely not. 1123 00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:58,633 There is no way we would ever lie. It's... 1124 00:53:02,679 --> 00:53:04,890 Our-- Our friend Jeremy, he lied. 1125 00:53:05,515 --> 00:53:08,476 [yells] You mean, I just cleaned a civilian dick? 1126 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,062 -I am so, so sorry. -Stay cool, man. 1127 00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:13,023 -Get the hell over here! -Fuck. 1128 00:53:13,106 --> 00:53:14,524 -Go, dude! Go! -Come back here. 1129 00:53:15,984 --> 00:53:16,985 [man grunts] 1130 00:53:17,068 --> 00:53:18,612 [Donnie and Sean screaming] 1131 00:53:18,695 --> 00:53:20,488 [Donnie] We have got to go! 1132 00:53:21,281 --> 00:53:22,240 He looks mad! 1133 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:24,159 -[Sean] Go! -[Becky] Oh, come on. Okay. 1134 00:53:24,534 --> 00:53:26,536 -Here it is! Unlock! -Unlock the door, Becky. 1135 00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:28,914 -[Becky] I'm pressing unlock. -[Sarah] Open the door. 1136 00:53:31,124 --> 00:53:32,125 [both scream] 1137 00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:34,377 Shit! He's got a fucking bow and arrow! Go! 1138 00:53:34,461 --> 00:53:38,590 The only dicks that I touch are mine and my husband's. 1139 00:53:39,090 --> 00:53:40,217 [Sean] Go! Shit! 1140 00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:42,928 -Go, go, go, go, go, go! -[tires squeal] 1141 00:53:43,637 --> 00:53:44,554 Hey! 1142 00:53:44,638 --> 00:53:46,640 [Sarah] Go! Go, go, go, go, go! 1143 00:53:46,723 --> 00:53:48,141 -[Sean] That was crazy. -[Sarah] God. 1144 00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,143 [panting] Oh, my God. Holy shit. 1145 00:53:50,227 --> 00:53:52,479 [panting] Guys, we made it. 1146 00:53:52,812 --> 00:53:53,688 [screams] 1147 00:53:53,772 --> 00:53:55,565 [all screaming] 1148 00:53:55,649 --> 00:53:57,984 -Oh, my God! -Oh, my God! Holy shit! 1149 00:53:58,068 --> 00:53:59,027 Fuck you! 1150 00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:01,071 Yeah, fuck you! 1151 00:54:01,154 --> 00:54:03,156 -Holy fuck! Are you okay? -Ow... 1152 00:54:03,281 --> 00:54:05,575 [stammers] You look okay. Looks like just the tip went in. 1153 00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:08,161 Come on, Donnie. You love just the tip. 1154 00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:10,121 Fuck, that's really funny, but not right now. 1155 00:54:10,205 --> 00:54:11,665 -[Sarah chuckles] -[groans] 1156 00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:16,294 Did you say Kendall Jenners? With an S? 1157 00:54:16,378 --> 00:54:18,838 We're supposed to meet for the first time this summer. 1158 00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:21,508 That name is like Catfishing 101. 1159 00:54:21,591 --> 00:54:22,592 Why does everyone say that? 1160 00:54:22,676 --> 00:54:24,636 She likes to text. She doesn't like talking. 1161 00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,263 That is definitely a catfish. 1162 00:54:26,846 --> 00:54:28,974 Okay, look. Anyway, if I'm gonna die, 1163 00:54:30,016 --> 00:54:33,353 [sighs] I need her to know... that I love her. 1164 00:54:33,436 --> 00:54:36,439 You're not gonna die. You just won't have a penis. 1165 00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:38,441 I'd rather die than not have my penis. 1166 00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:39,943 We've waited all day. 1167 00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,903 It's been almost 12 hours. 1168 00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:43,738 We haven't heard anything from your friends. 1169 00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:46,157 -Yeah, but there's still time. -Nah. 1170 00:54:46,449 --> 00:54:49,160 Look at the flower. Look. It still has most of its petals. 1171 00:54:49,786 --> 00:54:52,289 What? No. Dude-- The flower... 1172 00:54:52,622 --> 00:54:54,040 that was an example. 1173 00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:57,711 Did you think that that flower was magically linked to your penis? 1174 00:54:59,671 --> 00:55:01,840 This isn't Beauty and the Beast. 1175 00:55:01,923 --> 00:55:05,719 But me and my friends are fucking idiots. They're gonna need more time. 1176 00:55:05,802 --> 00:55:07,804 Honestly, it's not looking good. 1177 00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:11,474 So, let's just hope your friends are arriving right now. 1178 00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:14,602 [tires screech] 1179 00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:17,272 [panting] 1180 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:20,317 Hi! Hi! We're here for Jeremy Abelar. 1181 00:55:20,817 --> 00:55:23,028 We have a-- a special delivery. 1182 00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:25,238 Uh, one moment. [stammers] 1183 00:55:25,447 --> 00:55:27,324 -Abelar? Abelar. -[Becky] Abelar. Yes. 1184 00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:28,908 A-B- Oh-- Ooh... 1185 00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:31,161 I just gotta go back here. 1186 00:55:31,244 --> 00:55:33,330 [sighs] That's it. 1187 00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:35,582 Ah! Yep. 1188 00:55:35,915 --> 00:55:37,667 Ah, we don't have a patient under that name. 1189 00:55:38,084 --> 00:55:41,713 Uh, the helicopter EMT said they would be bringing him here. 1190 00:55:41,796 --> 00:55:43,506 I don't know what to tell you. He's not here. 1191 00:55:43,590 --> 00:55:44,924 They sometimes reroute medevacs. 1192 00:55:45,008 --> 00:55:47,218 I'd try Clarkson Memorial. They have a helipad. 1193 00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,143 [echoing] Fu... 1194 00:55:56,728 --> 00:55:58,688 [tires screeching] 1195 00:56:00,106 --> 00:56:01,107 ...ck! 1196 00:56:01,232 --> 00:56:03,401 [panting] Let's go. 1197 00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:07,364 Go, go, go, go, go! 1198 00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:11,368 Everybody, listen up! 1199 00:56:11,618 --> 00:56:13,703 There is a penis in this cooler! 1200 00:56:13,787 --> 00:56:15,497 Are we in the right place or what? 1201 00:56:15,705 --> 00:56:16,748 Is that the penis? 1202 00:56:16,831 --> 00:56:18,166 -Yes! Yes! -Thank God. Yes. 1203 00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:20,710 Oh! We didn't think you guys were gonna make it. 1204 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:23,546 -The penis is here! -[nurse grunts] 1205 00:56:23,838 --> 00:56:26,633 Page the anesthesiologist. I want to get into surgery immediately. 1206 00:56:26,716 --> 00:56:28,551 -[Becky and Sean] Yes! -[doctor] Hey! 1207 00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:31,805 You guys did good. 1208 00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,599 Ooh! Also, it got bit by a snake. 1209 00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:37,977 I sucked it pretty good, but you should still check for venom. 1210 00:56:41,731 --> 00:56:42,732 [doctor] Prep the OR! 1211 00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:43,900 Goddamn hero. 1212 00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:47,153 -Yes! -[all giggle, exclaim] 1213 00:56:47,237 --> 00:56:49,531 -[Sean] Yes! Oh, God. -[Donnie] Ow! Oh, ow! 1214 00:56:49,614 --> 00:56:52,075 -Someone's thumb went in my hole. -You okay? 1215 00:57:00,834 --> 00:57:03,169 -[sighs] -You can scoot closer. 1216 00:57:04,129 --> 00:57:05,964 -[chuckles softly] -You're kind of far away. 1217 00:57:06,047 --> 00:57:07,257 [groans] Yeah. 1218 00:57:07,757 --> 00:57:09,008 [sighs] 1219 00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:14,139 Hey, thank you for your shirt, also, by the way. 1220 00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:15,557 Oh, yeah, no problem. 1221 00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:18,393 -[Sean] It's comfortable. It smells good. -Looks great on you. 1222 00:57:18,476 --> 00:57:19,310 Thanks. 1223 00:57:27,193 --> 00:57:29,279 Hey, um, you know what? Uh... 1224 00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:34,242 Remember at the Rent cast party? 1225 00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:39,330 -Mm-hmm? -I actually had a crush on you, too. 1226 00:57:44,711 --> 00:57:45,879 [sighs] 1227 00:57:46,838 --> 00:57:47,839 You-- you did? 1228 00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,258 Yeah. 1229 00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:53,470 Yeah, also momentarily. 1230 00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:55,972 -Um... -Right. 1231 00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:57,765 Yeah, I mean... 1232 00:57:58,391 --> 00:57:59,476 I don't know. 1233 00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:07,358 Wow, the Fuck King? 1234 00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:11,154 -[chuckles softly] -The Fuck-- Are you the Fuck King? 1235 00:58:11,821 --> 00:58:14,073 Uh, no, that's not me. I'm not the Fuck King. 1236 00:58:14,574 --> 00:58:16,576 -Just a fuck prince. -I wouldn't even... 1237 00:58:16,993 --> 00:58:18,411 I think I'm more of a jester. 1238 00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:19,662 -You're a fuck jester. -Yeah. 1239 00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,289 That's-- that's more fun. 1240 00:58:21,789 --> 00:58:24,417 You wanted to use it at the hospital here? 1241 00:58:24,959 --> 00:58:26,336 Well... Um... 1242 00:58:27,378 --> 00:58:28,421 [clicks tongue] 1243 00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:32,717 Jeremy actually gave it to me to use with you. 1244 00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:36,179 -And I said, "That's crazy." -That's really weird. 1245 00:58:36,262 --> 00:58:38,681 -[Sean] I'm on the same page. It's weird. -I'm his sister. 1246 00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:40,099 So it's not really mine. 1247 00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:42,268 -Ew! Ew! -I know! I know! 1248 00:58:42,977 --> 00:58:44,229 -Why? -Yeah. 1249 00:58:44,395 --> 00:58:46,481 -The Fuck King? Come on. -I know. It's weird. 1250 00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:50,276 I mean, it's not like you still have a crush on me. 1251 00:58:53,696 --> 00:58:54,948 Do you still have a crush on me? 1252 00:58:58,493 --> 00:58:59,661 -[woman] Excuse me. -Wha-- 1253 00:58:59,744 --> 00:59:01,829 Come with me. The doctor would like to see you. 1254 00:59:01,955 --> 00:59:04,415 -[Becky] Okay, yeah, great. Let's go. -Yeah, let's go. 1255 00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:07,335 [Becky] Um... Donnie. Hey. 1256 00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:09,671 The doctor wants to see us. Let's go. 1257 00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:12,006 -Okay. -Were you just... 1258 00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:13,299 God damn. 1259 00:59:15,843 --> 00:59:17,512 -Sean. Let's go. -Yeah. 1260 00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:21,558 Yeah. Yeah, I'm on my-- Yeah, I'm on my way. 1261 00:59:23,685 --> 00:59:25,270 -What's your problem? -[Sean] Nothing. 1262 00:59:25,353 --> 00:59:28,273 I lost something. I can't remember... 1263 00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:29,691 if I... 1264 00:59:30,942 --> 00:59:33,403 -Sean, do you have a boner? -I don't have a boner. 1265 00:59:33,486 --> 00:59:34,988 Just my back hurts, and... 1266 00:59:35,488 --> 00:59:36,406 So... 1267 00:59:36,781 --> 00:59:40,451 basically every time you touch Sean, he gets a raging bonie. 1268 00:59:42,328 --> 00:59:44,914 See? I told you. You give him boners. 1269 00:59:44,998 --> 00:59:45,873 [Sean] What? 1270 00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:48,251 I don't have a bonie. 1271 00:59:48,585 --> 00:59:49,419 [seat squeaks] 1272 00:59:51,629 --> 00:59:52,589 Did you just fart? 1273 00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:53,673 No, it was the seat. 1274 00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,092 Oh, my God. Do you have the farts and a boner? 1275 00:59:56,175 --> 01:00:00,555 -I don't have farts or a boner. [scoffs] -[Sarah] One of those is a lie. 1276 01:00:00,638 --> 01:00:03,933 -Let's... You got it. You got it. -Do you, buddy. 1277 01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:06,185 -Thank you. -Shocking, man. 1278 01:00:06,352 --> 01:00:07,186 Thanks. 1279 01:00:09,981 --> 01:00:10,982 [seat squeaks] 1280 01:00:13,067 --> 01:00:14,569 [grunts, inhales sharply] 1281 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,951 Good news. Surgery went perfectly. 1282 01:00:22,035 --> 01:00:23,328 -[sighs] -Oh, my God. 1283 01:00:23,411 --> 01:00:24,996 Well, not perfectly. 1284 01:00:25,079 --> 01:00:26,873 But as good as we could have hoped. 1285 01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:30,335 We have a successful reattachment, and your friend's gonna be fine. 1286 01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:32,712 What about the snake venom? 1287 01:00:33,087 --> 01:00:34,422 There was no venom in the penis. 1288 01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:36,674 Yeah, man. You sucked that shit out. 1289 01:00:36,758 --> 01:00:38,760 -[both whoop] -[doctor] No. 1290 01:00:38,843 --> 01:00:41,929 -There was never any venom in the penis. -Huh? 1291 01:00:42,096 --> 01:00:44,390 It's impossible to suck venom out of a bite wound. 1292 01:00:45,475 --> 01:00:46,726 It was a defensive bite. 1293 01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:48,061 Whatever, man. 1294 01:00:48,144 --> 01:00:50,772 -Don't listen. He doesn't know shit. -Yeah. 1295 01:00:50,855 --> 01:00:52,398 Right. I'm just a doctor. 1296 01:00:52,940 --> 01:00:56,486 Anyway, your friend whose dick you sucked for no reason 1297 01:00:56,569 --> 01:00:59,864 is gonna be under a bit longer, but you can go in and see him. 1298 01:00:59,947 --> 01:01:02,367 Sure he'd love to wake up to some friendly faces. 1299 01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:04,911 Salty. 1300 01:01:05,828 --> 01:01:08,956 -[sighs] -[chuckles nervously] 1301 01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:09,916 Here we go. 1302 01:01:10,291 --> 01:01:11,167 All right. 1303 01:01:11,584 --> 01:01:12,919 [Becky] Let's do it. 1304 01:01:24,806 --> 01:01:25,932 Who's this? 1305 01:01:28,476 --> 01:01:30,311 Um, hi, excuse me. Nurse. 1306 01:01:30,436 --> 01:01:33,981 The doctor told us the wrong room. We're looking for Jeremy Abelar. 1307 01:01:34,190 --> 01:01:36,401 Jeremy... Abelar. 1308 01:01:37,402 --> 01:01:40,113 No, we don't have a Jeremy Abelar in recovery. 1309 01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:43,241 The doctor told us that he transferred from surgery. 1310 01:01:43,324 --> 01:01:46,119 Let's make this simpler. It's the guy that got his wiener reattached. 1311 01:01:46,202 --> 01:01:48,579 Yeah. That's him. Reginald Knudson. 1312 01:01:48,955 --> 01:01:51,124 -No, no, no. -The other person for a severed penis. 1313 01:01:51,207 --> 01:01:52,041 Yeah. 1314 01:01:52,125 --> 01:01:52,959 [chuckles] 1315 01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:57,088 If there was somebody else here with a severed penis, trust me, I'd know. 1316 01:01:57,171 --> 01:01:58,339 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1317 01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:02,135 If-- if Jeremy's not here, then... 1318 01:02:02,844 --> 01:02:05,138 We gave someone else Jeremy's penis. 1319 01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:06,556 [Sean] What? 1320 01:02:07,598 --> 01:02:08,933 That's our friend's dick? 1321 01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:10,685 That's our friend's dick. 1322 01:02:10,768 --> 01:02:13,396 -That's our friend's dick! Oh, my God. -That right? 1323 01:02:13,479 --> 01:02:15,565 -What kind of fucking hospital is this? -Security! 1324 01:02:16,399 --> 01:02:17,650 [groans] 1325 01:02:18,192 --> 01:02:20,236 -You have my friend's penis. -[nurse grunts] 1326 01:02:20,319 --> 01:02:22,655 [Donnie] Hang on for one second. It's a simple mistake. 1327 01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,867 It's an honest mistake, I'm sure. But you guys have the wrong penis, okay? 1328 01:02:25,950 --> 01:02:27,618 You have the wrong penis and... 1329 01:02:28,995 --> 01:02:31,581 [groans] You all saw that! You're witnesses! 1330 01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:33,166 -Are you okay? -That's a felony! 1331 01:02:33,249 --> 01:02:36,085 All right, we need to figure out if there's a head of the hospital 1332 01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:38,379 and explain the situation and see if-- 1333 01:02:38,463 --> 01:02:41,090 And what? They'll just grow him another dick 1334 01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:42,925 with their magic dick-making machine? 1335 01:02:43,259 --> 01:02:44,260 -[sighs] -[Donnie grunts] 1336 01:02:44,343 --> 01:02:47,680 -I'm not just gonna give up. -You have no idea where Jeremy is. 1337 01:02:48,347 --> 01:02:49,599 It's pretty obvious we're done. 1338 01:02:49,682 --> 01:02:50,725 That's awesome, Donnie. 1339 01:02:50,808 --> 01:02:53,186 Sarah, I'm sorry. Can you tell your boyfriend or whatever 1340 01:02:53,269 --> 01:02:55,605 to stop throwing a little baby boy tantrum right now. 1341 01:02:57,148 --> 01:02:59,942 Maybe I should be more like you. Right? Manipulate things. 1342 01:03:00,026 --> 01:03:03,654 Make 'em go my way. Like what you did with the medevac. 1343 01:03:04,030 --> 01:03:06,073 -Shut the fuck up. -What are you talking about? 1344 01:03:06,199 --> 01:03:09,660 Uh, while your brother was lying there, maybe about to die, uh... 1345 01:03:10,411 --> 01:03:13,539 Sean was pretending to be you and texting Chad from your phone. 1346 01:03:14,999 --> 01:03:15,833 [Becky] Sean. 1347 01:03:16,542 --> 01:03:17,877 Sea-- Sean? 1348 01:03:18,586 --> 01:03:19,796 Are you serious? 1349 01:03:20,296 --> 01:03:23,257 -You-- -It was-- It was an accident. I was-- 1350 01:03:23,341 --> 01:03:25,968 How is texting my boyfriend as me an accident? 1351 01:03:26,052 --> 01:03:27,720 You guys weren't even technically together. 1352 01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:30,389 What? What? What did you say? What did you say to him? 1353 01:03:31,599 --> 01:03:35,019 I said, "Fuck you. We're done." And then I called him "dirty taint." 1354 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:37,480 Wow. 1355 01:03:37,563 --> 01:03:39,565 -Yeah. -Um, okay. 1356 01:03:39,774 --> 01:03:41,526 The-- the voicemail? 1357 01:03:43,110 --> 01:03:45,196 [sighs] The voicemail he sent me. 1358 01:03:46,447 --> 01:03:49,283 I, um... I need to... I need to go. [sniffles] 1359 01:03:50,076 --> 01:03:52,829 -I'm sorry. I need to borrow your phone. -No. What the hell? 1360 01:03:52,912 --> 01:03:54,705 You do not want to fuck with me right now! 1361 01:03:56,582 --> 01:03:58,960 Just messaging Chad and telling him to pick me up. 1362 01:03:59,043 --> 01:04:00,378 Becky... 1363 01:04:04,674 --> 01:04:06,217 [Becky] Of course, he's online. Okay. 1364 01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:07,885 He's coming to pick me up. 1365 01:04:08,302 --> 01:04:09,136 Thank you. 1366 01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:10,847 Sarah, let's go. 1367 01:04:18,312 --> 01:04:21,482 Becky! Becky! [sighs] 1368 01:04:21,566 --> 01:04:22,608 Becky. 1369 01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:26,320 Use the twin connection. 1370 01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:28,447 Find me. 1371 01:04:28,823 --> 01:04:32,243 If you can hear me, please hurry up and come and save me. 1372 01:04:32,326 --> 01:04:33,286 [clears throat] 1373 01:04:33,369 --> 01:04:34,203 Becky! 1374 01:04:34,287 --> 01:04:36,497 Nope, it's me Darlene. Hello. 1375 01:04:36,622 --> 01:04:38,374 Um, so... 1376 01:04:38,457 --> 01:04:40,418 we got you an operating room. 1377 01:04:40,501 --> 01:04:41,669 I'm telling you, lady. 1378 01:04:42,003 --> 01:04:43,170 My friends are close. 1379 01:04:43,504 --> 01:04:45,882 And I'm telling you, it doesn't matter if they're close. 1380 01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:50,845 By now, unless your penis somehow got fresh, oxygenated blood in it, 1381 01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:53,264 it's dead. 1382 01:04:53,598 --> 01:04:57,560 No, no, no, no! Don't. [sobs] 1383 01:04:57,643 --> 01:04:58,644 Oh, my God. 1384 01:04:59,103 --> 01:05:02,815 There's no point in waiting any longer for trash to arrive. 1385 01:05:03,190 --> 01:05:05,359 [sighs] Okay, fine. 1386 01:05:06,319 --> 01:05:07,778 Let's do the butt-skin dick. 1387 01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:09,906 A graft is no longer an option. 1388 01:05:09,989 --> 01:05:11,532 -What? -Do you smell that? 1389 01:05:11,616 --> 01:05:14,327 You know we don't serve blue cheese in the cafeteria, right? 1390 01:05:14,410 --> 01:05:15,494 That-- that is... 1391 01:05:16,245 --> 01:05:17,288 That's your hole. 1392 01:05:17,830 --> 01:05:18,664 I'm sorry. 1393 01:05:19,832 --> 01:05:22,043 The anesthesiologist will be in shortly. 1394 01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:27,924 Wow. So this is really happening. 1395 01:05:32,094 --> 01:05:34,013 I can't believe I shat on your chances with Becky. 1396 01:05:34,138 --> 01:05:37,725 [sighs] Yeah, it's my own fault. I'm a fucking idiot. 1397 01:05:38,142 --> 01:05:39,352 Uh, no. 1398 01:05:40,561 --> 01:05:44,565 Also, I'm really sorry I started the rumor about you going to rehab for bath salts. 1399 01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:46,067 What? That was you? 1400 01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:49,195 I feel like we both now know I have problems with abandonment. 1401 01:05:49,278 --> 01:05:50,404 -Yep. -[man] I can't believe 1402 01:05:50,488 --> 01:05:52,156 I found a dick in the sewer. 1403 01:05:52,448 --> 01:05:55,534 Believe it, young'un. You just got your dick cherry popped. 1404 01:05:55,618 --> 01:05:56,827 Gonna need a new cooler. 1405 01:05:57,703 --> 01:05:58,829 -[man] Fuck. -[Donnie] Dude. 1406 01:05:58,913 --> 01:06:02,208 -[Sean] Yo. Yo, yo, yo. -They have the redneck's dick. 1407 01:06:02,875 --> 01:06:03,834 If... 1408 01:06:04,710 --> 01:06:06,295 we can get it to the doctor... 1409 01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:11,509 then the doctor can reattach it and we can get Jeremy's penis back. 1410 01:06:11,842 --> 01:06:13,469 We haven't been good friends to each other. 1411 01:06:13,552 --> 01:06:15,846 -I feel like I've been a good friend-- -But... 1412 01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,807 we can be best friends for Jeremy. 1413 01:06:18,724 --> 01:06:19,600 Let's do it. 1414 01:06:27,274 --> 01:06:29,276 -[door shuts] -[monitor beeping] 1415 01:06:31,696 --> 01:06:32,697 Hey, man. 1416 01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:34,407 Who the hell are you? 1417 01:06:35,324 --> 01:06:37,952 -I said no visitors. -Uh, I'm really sorry. 1418 01:06:38,369 --> 01:06:40,788 There's something that you should know about... 1419 01:06:41,747 --> 01:06:42,873 your penis. 1420 01:06:43,207 --> 01:06:45,710 Er, I mean, it's not your penis... 1421 01:06:46,293 --> 01:06:48,170 You have our friend Jeremy's penis. 1422 01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:50,256 What the hell are you talking about? 1423 01:06:50,339 --> 01:06:52,842 -They put our friend's penis on you. -Yes, they did. 1424 01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:57,054 Like, not like when I was out, they put your friend's dick on my face-- 1425 01:06:57,179 --> 01:07:00,182 I don't know, maybe that happened. But then they sewed it on you. 1426 01:07:03,352 --> 01:07:06,480 You're gonna see right away it's our friend Jeremy's penis. 1427 01:07:07,231 --> 01:07:09,608 [gasps] Oh, my God. 1428 01:07:10,401 --> 01:07:11,402 That is not my dick. 1429 01:07:11,485 --> 01:07:13,237 That's not your dick. It's what I said. 1430 01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:15,906 Why? Why? Why is it so ugly? 1431 01:07:15,990 --> 01:07:17,533 -[Sean] Yeah. -Oh, my God. 1432 01:07:17,867 --> 01:07:20,119 Where did they find this? A little Navajo boy? 1433 01:07:20,202 --> 01:07:21,454 It's a normal-looking dick. 1434 01:07:21,537 --> 01:07:23,581 Once the swelling goes down, it's gonna get smaller? 1435 01:07:23,664 --> 01:07:26,876 Are you fucking kidding me? How am I supposed to work with this? 1436 01:07:27,668 --> 01:07:30,713 Ugh. You two again? Hey! Am I gonna have to call security? 1437 01:07:30,796 --> 01:07:32,631 Oh, hey, it's Dr. Malpractice. 1438 01:07:32,757 --> 01:07:35,301 Guess what? You sewed the wrong dick onto the wrong body. 1439 01:07:35,384 --> 01:07:37,762 If you don't want us to fuck your world up, you listen. 1440 01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:41,140 Two water sanitation workers just came into the hospital with his dick. 1441 01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:43,350 -What? My real penis is here? -Yeah, man. 1442 01:07:43,434 --> 01:07:45,561 [Donnie] What we need you to do is reattach 'em. 1443 01:07:45,895 --> 01:07:49,774 Guys... [scoffs] You don't just pop 'em on and off. 1444 01:07:49,857 --> 01:07:51,609 It's a delicate operation. 1445 01:07:52,109 --> 01:07:53,486 It's not a fucking LEGO set. 1446 01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:56,322 That dick is staying on that body. 1447 01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:59,617 Are you trying to tell me that I'm stuck with this... 1448 01:08:00,785 --> 01:08:02,620 -this thing? -Hey, man. 1449 01:08:03,037 --> 01:08:03,871 That thing... 1450 01:08:04,663 --> 01:08:05,790 that fucking thing... 1451 01:08:06,624 --> 01:08:09,502 belonged to a goddamn majestic person. 1452 01:08:09,877 --> 01:08:11,337 And you need to respect 1453 01:08:11,420 --> 01:08:14,632 that you got a part of my friend on you now forever. 1454 01:08:15,424 --> 01:08:17,051 Okay? You got a piece of Jeremy. 1455 01:08:17,510 --> 01:08:18,636 It's a good dick. 1456 01:08:20,596 --> 01:08:22,473 You need to honor that penis. 1457 01:08:22,556 --> 01:08:26,685 And bring it as much joy as Jeremy brings us 1458 01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:28,687 every time you take it out. 1459 01:08:28,771 --> 01:08:31,273 Because it belonged to a great dude. 1460 01:08:31,357 --> 01:08:32,191 The best. 1461 01:08:33,484 --> 01:08:35,903 You guys seem like some really good friends. 1462 01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:39,615 I wish I would have listened to my buddies 1463 01:08:39,698 --> 01:08:42,326 when they told me that Cheryl was a psycho bitch. 1464 01:08:42,701 --> 01:08:44,078 Never would have let her tie me up. 1465 01:08:44,453 --> 01:08:46,413 I thought she just wanted to get freaky. 1466 01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:49,208 -Maybe do some butt stuff. -That's awesome. 1467 01:08:49,291 --> 01:08:50,501 Anything goes, you know? 1468 01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:54,630 She put on her sexy little Juicy Cooter slip. 1469 01:08:57,007 --> 01:08:58,592 Got my rod all hard. 1470 01:08:58,676 --> 01:08:59,593 Cool. 1471 01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:02,388 She started licking all up in my ear, you know. 1472 01:09:03,013 --> 01:09:05,391 Saying sexy sweet nothings and whatnot. 1473 01:09:05,766 --> 01:09:07,768 And she leans in and she whispers... 1474 01:09:09,311 --> 01:09:11,564 "I know about you and my sister." 1475 01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:16,944 Yeah, and then she whips out a pair of scissors... and bam! 1476 01:09:17,736 --> 01:09:19,822 She snips my dick clean off. 1477 01:09:19,905 --> 01:09:21,574 -Yep. -And then she flushed it. 1478 01:09:21,866 --> 01:09:24,493 -[gags] -She flushed my pee-pee like a poo-poo. 1479 01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,246 She sounds like one bag of trash. 1480 01:09:27,329 --> 01:09:28,247 [Reginald] Yep. 1481 01:09:28,831 --> 01:09:30,332 You know what the craziest part is? 1482 01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:34,670 I still love her. 1483 01:09:35,379 --> 01:09:36,213 There it is. 1484 01:09:36,797 --> 01:09:39,592 You know, I know it's just a dirty toilet dick but, doctor... 1485 01:09:41,218 --> 01:09:44,722 I'd like to give these two young men my old penis. 1486 01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:47,892 -That's awesome. -You know, that might work. 1487 01:09:47,975 --> 01:09:49,685 Yeah. Because... 1488 01:09:51,061 --> 01:09:54,648 everybody deserves a second chance. 1489 01:09:54,773 --> 01:09:56,734 [woman, crying] Even me? 1490 01:09:58,485 --> 01:09:59,361 Cheryl. 1491 01:10:00,487 --> 01:10:03,240 Oh, baby. I'm sorry, baby. 1492 01:10:03,824 --> 01:10:05,242 Baby, I'm so sorry. 1493 01:10:05,326 --> 01:10:08,204 No, baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing. 1494 01:10:08,287 --> 01:10:10,789 I don't know what I was thinking. 1495 01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:15,753 I just went in. I-- I grabbed 'em and I snipped it. 1496 01:10:15,836 --> 01:10:18,839 You got through it real easy, too. I was surprised. 1497 01:10:18,923 --> 01:10:20,466 Can you ever forgive me? 1498 01:10:20,549 --> 01:10:22,927 If I could suck it back on, I would. 1499 01:10:23,010 --> 01:10:25,512 I know it was the drugs. I know it was the drugs. 1500 01:10:25,596 --> 01:10:27,223 You know it was the drugs. 1501 01:10:27,306 --> 01:10:28,724 -Baby. -Yeah? 1502 01:10:28,807 --> 01:10:31,852 -And how about a little kiss? -[Reginald] Yeah, okay. [pants] 1503 01:10:32,519 --> 01:10:34,521 That feels good. Little kisses of an angel. 1504 01:10:34,605 --> 01:10:37,399 -Yeah. It's okay. -Oh, my God. 1505 01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:41,278 -Baby. Oh, I love you so much. -I love you so much. 1506 01:10:41,362 --> 01:10:42,446 -Let's go. -Oh, Jesus. 1507 01:10:42,529 --> 01:10:45,532 -[Cheryl] You're my king. -[Reginald] The scepter has been repaired. 1508 01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:47,826 [Cheryl] When's little Reggie gonna be ready for me to... 1509 01:10:47,910 --> 01:10:50,037 Hey, guys! Guys, guys! Look... 1510 01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,624 I think they can attach Reginald's penis to your friend. 1511 01:10:54,083 --> 01:10:57,419 Okay? It's in the cold storage. One floor up, end of the hall. 1512 01:10:57,920 --> 01:10:59,004 Take my key card. 1513 01:10:59,672 --> 01:11:01,882 -Why aren't you coming? -"Why aren't you coming?" 1514 01:11:01,966 --> 01:11:05,052 How about I don't want to get sued? If they ask, I'll tell them you stole it. 1515 01:11:05,135 --> 01:11:07,429 Wow. That's so great of you. You're so nice. 1516 01:11:07,513 --> 01:11:09,306 -[groans] -[Donnie] Oh! 1517 01:11:09,390 --> 01:11:10,224 Oh, Scheiße! 1518 01:11:10,307 --> 01:11:11,809 What the fuck did you do that for? 1519 01:11:11,892 --> 01:11:14,561 So they believe we stole the key card. I don't know. 1520 01:11:14,645 --> 01:11:17,314 I have a super fucking sensitive nose, you guys. 1521 01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:20,234 -[Cheryl exclaims] -[Reginald, screaming] Why? Why? 1522 01:11:20,317 --> 01:11:21,986 Oh, my God! 1523 01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:24,446 -Holy shi-- -Oh, my God! 1524 01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:25,364 She cut it off again! 1525 01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:29,827 I did, 'cause you don't deserve no cock, you cheating son of a bitch. 1526 01:11:29,910 --> 01:11:32,288 Oh, you fucking crazy ho bag! 1527 01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:34,581 -Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need that! -It's my cock! 1528 01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:36,083 It's my dick. [grunts] 1529 01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:40,087 -[laughing, grunting] -[grunts] 1530 01:11:40,796 --> 01:11:42,339 -[doctor] Jesus! -Oh! 1531 01:11:42,423 --> 01:11:44,466 You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cut it up 1532 01:11:44,550 --> 01:11:46,719 like a little three-year-old's lunch. 1533 01:11:46,802 --> 01:11:49,847 -She will do it. Trust me. -[Cheryl] I'll do it. I'm crazy! 1534 01:11:49,930 --> 01:11:51,598 -[hisses] -[Sean] Oh! You're crazy, lady! 1535 01:11:52,725 --> 01:11:53,851 [Cheryl grunts, yelps] 1536 01:11:53,934 --> 01:11:55,519 Ow! Where'd she go? 1537 01:11:55,602 --> 01:11:57,646 -[panting] Where is she? -[screams] 1538 01:11:57,730 --> 01:11:59,023 Oh, my God. [screams] 1539 01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:01,734 -Oh, fuck! -What the fuck? 1540 01:12:01,817 --> 01:12:05,529 I don't care how many times you reattach it, Reggie. 1541 01:12:05,904 --> 01:12:08,949 I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna cut it off, 1542 01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:12,536 and I'm gonna flush it every time. 1543 01:12:12,619 --> 01:12:14,747 -Don't you dare. -[Sean] Get it, Donnie! Get it, Donnie! 1544 01:12:14,830 --> 01:12:16,081 [Reginald] She'll do it. 1545 01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:19,501 -[Donnie] Cheryl, give me that. -[Cheryl screaming] 1546 01:12:19,626 --> 01:12:21,211 -[Donnie groans] -[groans] 1547 01:12:22,588 --> 01:12:24,006 -[crunches] -[screams] 1548 01:12:24,423 --> 01:12:26,675 -Oh! -[Donnie groans] 1549 01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:28,218 [screaming] 1550 01:12:28,302 --> 01:12:30,929 -Blow it down! Blow the dick down. -[splashing] 1551 01:12:31,013 --> 01:12:32,181 [Donnie gurgling] 1552 01:12:32,681 --> 01:12:33,891 I got you now. 1553 01:12:35,309 --> 01:12:38,479 -Whoa! Whoa! [grunts] -[yells] 1554 01:12:38,562 --> 01:12:40,272 -Wait a minute, baby! -What? 1555 01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:41,690 [crying] I love you. 1556 01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:45,903 I love you too, Reggie. Why do you think I'm doing all this? 1557 01:12:46,111 --> 01:12:47,321 -Security! -[yells] 1558 01:12:47,571 --> 01:12:48,906 -[grunts] -[groans] 1559 01:12:48,989 --> 01:12:51,533 -[Cheryl] Mission accomplished, bitch! -God damn it! 1560 01:12:51,617 --> 01:12:53,118 -[gurgling] -[Sean] Oh! 1561 01:12:55,913 --> 01:12:58,123 [crying] It was just supposed to be camping. 1562 01:13:00,667 --> 01:13:02,753 -Oh, fuck. -I'm gonna pick it up. 1563 01:13:03,921 --> 01:13:06,340 I'm gonna flip it like dog poop. [grunts] 1564 01:13:09,843 --> 01:13:12,846 Well, boys, I guess you get your wish. You got your friend's dick back. 1565 01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:14,973 Thanks! Let's go. Come on. 1566 01:13:15,057 --> 01:13:16,308 Good luck, boys! 1567 01:13:17,059 --> 01:13:18,018 Oh, shit. 1568 01:13:18,268 --> 01:13:20,354 -[monitor alarm beeps] -[sputtering] 1569 01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:22,106 You okay? 1570 01:13:25,734 --> 01:13:28,237 -Oh, hey, it's the girls. It's the girls. -What? 1571 01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:32,074 Hey. 1572 01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:34,243 What's going on? 1573 01:13:34,618 --> 01:13:36,870 We-- we have Jeremy's penis. [chuckles] 1574 01:13:36,954 --> 01:13:38,831 Thought it got sewn on to that other guy. 1575 01:13:39,123 --> 01:13:40,791 -Oh, it-- It did. -Well, yeah. 1576 01:13:40,874 --> 01:13:42,501 -[car honking] -[stereo playing] 1577 01:13:48,298 --> 01:13:49,258 'Sup, babe? 1578 01:13:49,341 --> 01:13:50,717 [scoffs] It's fucking Chad. 1579 01:13:59,518 --> 01:14:02,187 Here. Take-- take it. [sighs] 1580 01:14:04,356 --> 01:14:06,358 I know you're done with me, but the receptionist said 1581 01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:08,444 there are five other hospitals Jeremy could be in. 1582 01:14:08,527 --> 01:14:12,865 We're gonna drive around and call around and see if we can find out where he is. 1583 01:14:12,948 --> 01:14:15,367 And if we figure it out before you... 1584 01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:19,538 I will text you. I'll text... Chad. 1585 01:14:20,789 --> 01:14:22,416 As me this time, not as you. 1586 01:14:25,043 --> 01:14:26,170 Do it. 1587 01:14:26,837 --> 01:14:30,215 You know what, I am really sorry that I sent that text. 1588 01:14:30,382 --> 01:14:32,551 But you deserve to be with somebody who respects you. 1589 01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,306 Not somebody who cheats on you. 1590 01:14:40,726 --> 01:14:43,270 You're amazing, and I really like you. 1591 01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:44,938 And I've always liked you. 1592 01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:48,692 [stammering] And not... always... I haven't... 1593 01:14:48,901 --> 01:14:51,320 I don't, like, like you like a lot. Like a lot, a lot. 1594 01:14:51,403 --> 01:14:53,906 I just think you're cool, and I think you think I'm cool, 1595 01:14:53,989 --> 01:14:56,867 and that we're cool together. And it's cool that we... 1596 01:14:56,950 --> 01:14:58,619 have this thing and-- 1597 01:14:58,911 --> 01:15:01,371 You know, I am not trying to make... [stammers] 1598 01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:03,832 [coughing] 1599 01:15:08,086 --> 01:15:10,464 God. Oh, no, no, no, no. No. No, no, no. 1600 01:15:10,547 --> 01:15:12,758 Don't worry, I put it in a baggie like dog shit. 1601 01:15:13,217 --> 01:15:14,676 [Becky] It's still pretty gross. 1602 01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:16,470 -Ugh. -[coughs] Sorry. 1603 01:15:18,889 --> 01:15:19,765 Ugh. 1604 01:15:21,350 --> 01:15:22,267 [sighs] 1605 01:15:22,768 --> 01:15:25,771 Anyway, I'm really sorry about everything and... 1606 01:15:27,898 --> 01:15:29,149 I hope that you can forgive me. 1607 01:15:30,067 --> 01:15:32,402 [exhales deeply] Yeah. 1608 01:15:34,029 --> 01:15:36,532 -[sighs] -[horn honks] 1609 01:15:36,865 --> 01:15:39,326 -Come on down, babe. Let's go. -[Becky] Great. 1610 01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:40,744 One sec. 1611 01:15:41,787 --> 01:15:43,747 Why the fuck did I message Chad? 1612 01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:46,583 Come on. Let's go. 1613 01:15:47,918 --> 01:15:50,254 -We're going to save Jeremy. -[Sarah sighs] 1614 01:15:52,881 --> 01:15:54,216 You guys coming or... 1615 01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:57,844 What? So, my speech was good? 1616 01:15:58,262 --> 01:15:59,096 [scoffs] No. 1617 01:15:59,596 --> 01:16:02,266 But, hey, I think I got what you were trying to say. 1618 01:16:02,599 --> 01:16:06,144 You messed up. You're sorry. I deserve respect. 1619 01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:07,729 We like each other. 1620 01:16:08,772 --> 01:16:09,815 Yeah. 1621 01:16:10,148 --> 01:16:11,024 I got it. 1622 01:16:12,442 --> 01:16:15,946 -Cool. -Let's go get Jeremy his dick back. 1623 01:16:16,029 --> 01:16:18,240 -[both] Yeah! -Whoo! 1624 01:16:20,075 --> 01:16:22,911 -'Sup, babe? -Sorry, Chad, we're broken up. Bye. 1625 01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:25,789 -[Donnie] 'Sup, Chad? -What the fuck? Are you serious? 1626 01:16:25,872 --> 01:16:27,332 I drove all the way out here! 1627 01:16:27,666 --> 01:16:28,917 Your loss, Becky. 1628 01:16:29,001 --> 01:16:32,254 I even got a fake ID so we could drink margaritas in Cancun. 1629 01:16:33,297 --> 01:16:35,257 -Wait. Holy shit. Stop the car. -What? 1630 01:16:35,340 --> 01:16:36,883 -[Sarah] What? -Stop the car. Stop. 1631 01:16:36,967 --> 01:16:38,719 -I know how to find Jeremy. -How? 1632 01:16:38,844 --> 01:16:41,013 Jeremy bought us booze on the drive out to the mountains. 1633 01:16:41,096 --> 01:16:42,055 So, what? 1634 01:16:42,139 --> 01:16:45,100 The military ID was the one in his wallet. His fake! 1635 01:16:45,183 --> 01:16:48,979 Oh! The hospital admitted him under the name on his fake ID. 1636 01:16:49,062 --> 01:16:52,232 -Jack motherfucking Jessop! -[all laughing] 1637 01:16:52,316 --> 01:16:53,483 What the fuck? 1638 01:16:53,567 --> 01:16:55,193 -[Donnie] Holy shit. -I'm calling it in. 1639 01:16:55,277 --> 01:16:58,196 -Which hospital? You said there were five. -East General. The first place. 1640 01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:01,199 -[phone ringing] -East General Hospital? 1641 01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:05,579 Hi, can you connect us to Jack Jessop, please? 1642 01:17:05,704 --> 01:17:06,622 One moment. 1643 01:17:08,081 --> 01:17:10,250 [keyboard clacking over phone] 1644 01:17:13,295 --> 01:17:14,755 [nurse] And connecting you now. 1645 01:17:14,838 --> 01:17:17,215 -Yes. -Yes! No, yes! 1646 01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:19,801 [all laughing] 1647 01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,136 [man] Just relax. 1648 01:17:22,179 --> 01:17:23,639 And count back from 100. 1649 01:17:23,722 --> 01:17:25,974 We'll be back shortly to take you into the OR. 1650 01:17:27,559 --> 01:17:28,810 [phone ringing] 1651 01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:33,190 [grunts softly] 1652 01:17:34,733 --> 01:17:37,194 -Hello? -Jeremy! 1653 01:17:37,277 --> 01:17:38,153 Jeremy! 1654 01:17:38,236 --> 01:17:40,781 Becky, where are you guys? They're trying to sew up my nub. 1655 01:17:40,864 --> 01:17:43,617 No, no, no! Tell them no. We're gonna be there soon, okay? 1656 01:17:43,700 --> 01:17:45,202 Please tell me you have my pee-pee. 1657 01:17:45,285 --> 01:17:46,411 We have it! 1658 01:17:46,495 --> 01:17:49,206 -Yes. -Please, I just want my pee-pee back. 1659 01:17:49,289 --> 01:17:52,042 -Stop calling it your pee-pee. -The doctor, Becky. 1660 01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:54,544 He said it's too late. 1661 01:17:55,045 --> 01:17:58,465 They pumped me with a lot of drugs, and now they're taking me to surgery. 1662 01:17:58,548 --> 01:18:00,550 -Ooh, no, no, no, no, no. -No, no, no, no, no. 1663 01:18:00,634 --> 01:18:01,635 Don't. Hold off. 1664 01:18:01,718 --> 01:18:04,513 -Nurse. Nurse. -We're gonna be there really soon. 1665 01:18:04,596 --> 01:18:07,349 -Do not let them take you into surgery. -Hi, Grandpa. 1666 01:18:08,016 --> 01:18:09,226 [busy signal beeps] 1667 01:18:09,309 --> 01:18:10,811 -Oh, shit. -[Sean] We gotta go. 1668 01:18:11,478 --> 01:18:13,313 -Yeah, we gotta. -We gotta go. We gotta go. 1669 01:18:16,274 --> 01:18:20,696 [man] Oh! He is out. Let's get him into surgery. 1670 01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,532 Say night-night to The Danish Girl. 1671 01:18:29,996 --> 01:18:31,164 [brakes screech] 1672 01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:32,624 [Sean] Let's go! 1673 01:18:34,167 --> 01:18:35,043 Come on! 1674 01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:37,129 [choir sings "Oops, I Did It Again"] 1675 01:18:40,215 --> 01:18:44,136 ♪ Oops, I did it again ♪ 1676 01:18:44,219 --> 01:18:49,558 ♪ I played with your heart Got lost in the game ♪ 1677 01:18:49,891 --> 01:18:51,643 ♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪ 1678 01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:55,105 ♪ Oops, you think I'm in love ♪ 1679 01:18:55,647 --> 01:18:59,985 ♪ That I'm sent from above ♪ 1680 01:19:00,068 --> 01:19:03,280 ♪ I'm not that innocent ♪ 1681 01:19:05,282 --> 01:19:08,994 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1682 01:19:09,077 --> 01:19:10,370 No! 1683 01:19:10,495 --> 01:19:14,833 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1684 01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:18,295 ♪ I think I did it again ♪ 1685 01:19:18,879 --> 01:19:21,423 ♪ I made you believe ♪ 1686 01:19:21,506 --> 01:19:24,092 ♪ We're more than just friends ♪ 1687 01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:29,681 ♪ Oh, baby It might seem like a crush ♪ 1688 01:19:29,765 --> 01:19:31,558 ♪ But that doesn't mean ♪ 1689 01:19:31,641 --> 01:19:35,645 -[man] Hey, stop those kids! -♪ That I'm serious ♪ 1690 01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:41,067 -♪ 'Cause to lose all my senses ♪ -[shrieks] 1691 01:19:41,151 --> 01:19:44,905 ♪ That is just so typically me ♪ 1692 01:19:45,572 --> 01:19:46,990 ♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪ 1693 01:19:47,073 --> 01:19:50,911 -♪ Oops, I did it again ♪ -[distorted] Crash the boards! 1694 01:19:50,994 --> 01:19:53,121 -[groans] -♪ I played with your heart ♪ 1695 01:19:53,580 --> 01:19:56,041 ♪ Got lost in the game ♪ 1696 01:19:56,124 --> 01:19:57,751 ♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪ 1697 01:19:57,834 --> 01:20:00,712 ♪ Oops, you think I'm in love ♪ 1698 01:20:00,796 --> 01:20:01,838 Yes! 1699 01:20:01,922 --> 01:20:05,383 ♪ Got sent from above ♪ 1700 01:20:05,467 --> 01:20:08,637 ♪ I'm not that innocent ♪ 1701 01:20:09,095 --> 01:20:11,097 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1702 01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:14,142 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1703 01:20:14,392 --> 01:20:18,522 ♪ Yeah, oh! ♪ 1704 01:20:18,605 --> 01:20:21,525 ♪ I'm not that innocent ♪ 1705 01:20:22,359 --> 01:20:28,490 Stop! Stop the surgery! I have the dick! [panting] 1706 01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:37,082 Oh, shit. 1707 01:20:38,166 --> 01:20:40,043 [monitor beeping] 1708 01:20:40,752 --> 01:20:43,255 Um, excuse me? 1709 01:20:47,551 --> 01:20:48,969 I think this belongs to him. 1710 01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:03,608 Look, I'm really sorry that I freaked out when you tried to ask what our deal was. 1711 01:21:07,445 --> 01:21:09,781 But if you're still interested, maybe we could DTR sometime. 1712 01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:10,740 Yes. 1713 01:21:11,783 --> 01:21:13,368 What? [coughs] Yeah. No, yeah. 1714 01:21:13,451 --> 01:21:15,453 -That was a really quick answer. -What? 1715 01:21:15,537 --> 01:21:16,413 That'd be cool. 1716 01:21:18,248 --> 01:21:20,500 I can't wait, Sarah. 1717 01:21:23,712 --> 01:21:24,629 Me too, Donnie. 1718 01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:30,886 Just to clarify, we're talking about "dick to rim," 1719 01:21:30,969 --> 01:21:32,762 not "define the relationship," right? 1720 01:21:36,725 --> 01:21:37,642 I'm kidding. 1721 01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:46,735 [Becky] Well, this is probably my last moment of freedom. 1722 01:21:46,818 --> 01:21:49,029 As I'll be grounded for the rest of my life. 1723 01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:51,364 I'm really sorry your parents are gonna kill you. 1724 01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:52,782 Oh, no. It's fine. 1725 01:21:52,866 --> 01:21:56,161 I mean, the rest of this year is gonna be super boring, anyway. 1726 01:21:56,703 --> 01:21:58,747 Someone I know is going back to Germany. 1727 01:22:07,213 --> 01:22:09,090 -Uh... nope. -Oh. 1728 01:22:09,424 --> 01:22:11,343 Uh, I'm sorry, I just... 1729 01:22:12,302 --> 01:22:15,513 I just remembered that you had my brother's dick in your mouth earlier. 1730 01:22:16,681 --> 01:22:18,224 Uh, so maybe... 1731 01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:20,268 maybe we should wait. 1732 01:22:20,852 --> 01:22:22,020 Okay, yeah. 1733 01:22:22,103 --> 01:22:23,021 That makes sense. 1734 01:22:23,104 --> 01:22:25,231 -Totally makes sense. I'm on board. -Cool. 1735 01:22:26,066 --> 01:22:26,942 [kisses] 1736 01:22:27,692 --> 01:22:30,028 -[chuckles] -[kisses] 1737 01:22:30,111 --> 01:22:31,529 -Don't. -Oh. 1738 01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:33,740 -[laughing] Still got dick lips. -Still... Yeah. 1739 01:22:33,823 --> 01:22:36,076 -[chuckles] Dick mouth. -Yeah. 1740 01:22:37,577 --> 01:22:39,871 -Can you smell the dick? Okay. -No. No, no, no. 1741 01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:41,957 -It's just the image of it. Yeah. -Right. 1742 01:22:52,884 --> 01:22:54,135 [grunts] 1743 01:22:58,598 --> 01:23:02,102 -Jesus. What do you have in here? -I got a lot of stuff. I got books. 1744 01:23:02,185 --> 01:23:03,269 Books on what? 1745 01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:06,064 -Books on Germany. -Don't they have those books in Germany? 1746 01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:09,359 -All right, this is it. -Yeah. 1747 01:23:10,568 --> 01:23:12,779 Really think your brother's gonna miss you, bro. 1748 01:23:12,904 --> 01:23:14,698 -Yeah, I know what you mean. -[Donnie laughs] 1749 01:23:14,781 --> 01:23:16,741 -[moaning on TV] -Make it stop! 1750 01:23:16,825 --> 01:23:19,119 -Make it stop! -What the fuck? Seriously? Again? 1751 01:23:19,202 --> 01:23:20,203 -It's so good! -Stop! 1752 01:23:20,662 --> 01:23:23,164 [Donnie] You have to protect your Wi-Fi, Mr. Floyd. 1753 01:23:23,248 --> 01:23:25,500 I don't know how! 1754 01:23:25,583 --> 01:23:28,086 -Turn it off, man. -[horn honks] 1755 01:23:28,628 --> 01:23:30,213 [Sean] What? Is this my ride? 1756 01:23:30,296 --> 01:23:32,173 -What? -What is this thing? 1757 01:23:35,677 --> 01:23:37,262 -Hey. -Hey. 1758 01:23:37,971 --> 01:23:39,973 -Ready to go? -Yeah! Oh, yeah. 1759 01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,725 Sean, good luck finishing rehab. 1760 01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:43,893 -Ha! -Thank you. 1761 01:23:43,977 --> 01:23:45,270 [Donnie and Sarah chuckle] 1762 01:23:45,353 --> 01:23:47,355 I know I said I'd drive you to the airport, just us, 1763 01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:49,357 but someone got out of the hospital early. 1764 01:23:49,441 --> 01:23:51,443 [hip-hop music playing] 1765 01:24:01,578 --> 01:24:02,871 What's up? 1766 01:24:03,329 --> 01:24:04,247 Dude! 1767 01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:05,790 -[laughs] Cool. -That's so sick. 1768 01:24:05,874 --> 01:24:07,000 What's up, dogs? 1769 01:24:07,083 --> 01:24:09,919 Jeremy insisted that our parents rent him 1770 01:24:10,003 --> 01:24:11,921 -a wheelchair van. -[imitates engine revving] 1771 01:24:12,005 --> 01:24:15,592 It's like we have a dumb Stephen Hawking just rascaling around the house. 1772 01:24:15,675 --> 01:24:17,552 -Heh. -[in robotic voice] I cut my dick off. 1773 01:24:17,635 --> 01:24:20,096 Fucking pimp, right? I look like Professor X. 1774 01:24:20,263 --> 01:24:21,556 "Scott, you're a chump. 1775 01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:24,434 Logan's been tapping Jean since day one." [chuckles] 1776 01:24:24,809 --> 01:24:26,019 [chuckles] Oh, yeah. 1777 01:24:26,102 --> 01:24:29,689 Hey, Sean, also, don't tell Kendall about S-ing my D. 1778 01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:32,484 She's already pissed she can't be riding this dragon, you feel? 1779 01:24:32,984 --> 01:24:35,111 Right, yeah, she would be pissed if she were real. 1780 01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:45,205 Hey, guys. I'm Kendall. 1781 01:24:45,288 --> 01:24:48,416 Jennersss. 1782 01:24:49,250 --> 01:24:52,003 Thanks for making sure Little J made his way back home. 1783 01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:54,172 -Little J. -Oh, our pleasure. 1784 01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:57,300 -She calls it Little J? Disgusting. -[Kendall] I gotta give you two kisses. 1785 01:24:57,383 --> 01:24:59,552 -Okay. Two more kisses, but just two. -Okay. 1786 01:25:00,804 --> 01:25:03,389 Kendall, I told you just two! You're gonna rip the stitches. 1787 01:25:03,473 --> 01:25:05,183 I'm sorry, I just love you so much. 1788 01:25:05,266 --> 01:25:06,851 Why did you fuck with the ramp? 1789 01:25:06,976 --> 01:25:09,104 You gotta get back in. We're going to the airport. 1790 01:25:09,729 --> 01:25:10,772 Fuck me! All right, yeah. 1791 01:25:10,855 --> 01:25:12,440 -Let's get back in the van. -Come on. 1792 01:25:12,524 --> 01:25:13,817 Nice meeting you guys. 1793 01:25:13,900 --> 01:25:15,652 -Get back in the van. -[Sean] Let's roll. 1794 01:25:15,735 --> 01:25:17,612 -[Jeremy] Okay. -You got this. Come on, babe. 1795 01:25:17,695 --> 01:25:21,407 Bye, Jeremy's girlfriend. Hope you enjoy his Franken-peen when it's healed. 1796 01:25:21,533 --> 01:25:23,368 [chuckles] Franken-peen's funny. 1797 01:25:23,451 --> 01:25:25,328 -Good, right? -[Kendall] Come on. Keep it up. 1798 01:25:25,411 --> 01:25:26,329 I love you, babe. 1799 01:25:26,496 --> 01:25:29,040 -[Jeremy] I love you too, babe. -[Kendall] 1800 01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:33,711 So, I could drive you to soccer practice if you wanted. 1801 01:25:34,546 --> 01:25:35,380 Yeah. 1802 01:25:35,880 --> 01:25:38,091 Maybe we can stop by the church parking lot on the way. 1803 01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:43,012 [exhales] Yeah, absolutely. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Is it weird to say thank you? 1804 01:25:43,096 --> 01:25:45,140 -[chuckles] Little bit. -Yeah, it's strange. 1805 01:25:45,932 --> 01:25:46,808 All right. 1806 01:25:47,308 --> 01:25:48,935 So I wanted to... 1807 01:25:49,310 --> 01:25:50,562 give you something... 1808 01:25:50,645 --> 01:25:54,399 when I dropped you off at the airport, but now we got these two tagging along. 1809 01:25:54,482 --> 01:25:55,441 Ah, bummer. 1810 01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:59,904 Yeah, but what I wanted to give you was, um... 1811 01:26:01,364 --> 01:26:02,448 Give you this. 1812 01:26:03,283 --> 01:26:04,492 Oh. [chuckles] 1813 01:26:04,617 --> 01:26:06,077 [both] The Fuck King. 1814 01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:08,538 What is the Fuck King without his condom crown? 1815 01:26:08,621 --> 01:26:10,540 Wow. Returns. 1816 01:26:10,623 --> 01:26:14,043 -Mm-hmm. -I don't know... I don't know why I... 1817 01:26:14,127 --> 01:26:15,086 Right, yeah. 1818 01:26:20,842 --> 01:26:22,468 -Oh, my God. -[huffs] 1819 01:26:23,386 --> 01:26:25,346 [Donnie] You know we can see you, right? 1820 01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:26,639 [Sarah chuckles] 1821 01:26:26,723 --> 01:26:30,143 Yo, Jeremy, Sean's tonguing your sister pretty hard right now. 1822 01:26:30,226 --> 01:26:32,854 What? Hold on. I'm missing it. I'm missing it. Hold up. 1823 01:26:32,937 --> 01:26:34,689 [Donnie] You know he had a dick in his mouth? 1824 01:26:34,772 --> 01:26:37,150 Yeah, well, in 20 minutes, I'll have a dick in mine. 1825 01:26:37,233 --> 01:26:39,235 ["Bad Ones" playing] 1826 01:26:39,777 --> 01:26:41,946 What? What? Really? 1827 01:26:42,780 --> 01:26:43,656 No. 1828 01:26:44,949 --> 01:26:45,867 Great. Thanks. 1829 01:26:46,576 --> 01:26:48,077 ♪ If I was one of the good ones ♪ 1830 01:26:48,161 --> 01:26:50,371 -[Jeremy] Yo, can you see them? -[Kendall] I can't, babe. 1831 01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:51,497 [Jeremy] I gotta get out. 1832 01:26:51,581 --> 01:26:53,875 -[Sarah] Becky! -[Donnie] Go, Sean. Take it horizontal. 1833 01:26:53,958 --> 01:26:57,212 -[Sarah] Stop making out with him! -[Jeremy] Okay, I'll just do it myself. 1834 01:26:57,295 --> 01:26:59,005 [Sarah] Oh, my God. He's gonna get a boner. 1835 01:26:59,172 --> 01:27:00,673 -[ramp buzzes] -[Donnie] Yeah! 1836 01:27:00,757 --> 01:27:02,258 [Jeremy groans] 1837 01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:03,676 -[Kendall] Babe? -[Jeremy] Wait. 1838 01:27:03,760 --> 01:27:05,929 -[Sarah] Jeremy! -[Donnie] Get back in the car. 1839 01:27:06,054 --> 01:27:08,681 -Jeremy, get back in the car. -[Sarah] You're gonna get dirty. 1840 01:27:08,765 --> 01:27:10,642 [Jeremy] Get it, Becky! This is her choice. 1841 01:27:10,725 --> 01:27:12,685 [Donnie] Jeremy, it's not like you can't walk. 1842 01:27:12,769 --> 01:27:15,939 -Your legs are fine. -[Sarah] What are you doing? Oh, my God! 1843 01:27:16,105 --> 01:27:18,107 [Jeremy] Hips! Use those hips, girl! 1844 01:27:18,191 --> 01:27:21,361 [Sarah] Jeremy, stop being so fucking weird. It's your sister. 1845 01:27:21,444 --> 01:27:23,738 [Kendall] Oh, my God, babe. How's Little J? 1846 01:27:24,489 --> 01:27:27,325 -Oh, my God. -[Jeremy] I'm gonna grab my own ass. 1847 01:27:27,408 --> 01:27:29,535 And then, Becky, tell me if you feel it, too. 1848 01:27:29,619 --> 01:27:32,914 -[Sarah] There's no twin connection, dude. -[Jeremy] Oh, here we go. 1849 01:27:32,997 --> 01:27:34,040 [Kendall] It's beautiful. 1850 01:27:34,123 --> 01:27:37,502 [Donnie] I thought it'd be weird to watch your best friend make out, but... 1851 01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:39,420 I'm getting into it. 1852 01:27:39,796 --> 01:27:43,091 [Jeremy] You guys, this is awesome. But I think I fucked up my stitches. 1853 01:27:43,174 --> 01:27:45,927 -[Kendall] I told you to be careful. -[Sarah] Let's cut to the music. 1854 01:27:46,010 --> 01:27:49,180 -["I Miss My Dick" plays] -♪ I miss my dick, dick, dick ♪ 1855 01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:52,684 ♪ I miss my dick I miss my dick, dick, dick, yeah ♪ 1856 01:27:52,767 --> 01:27:55,937 ♪ Dragon shirt, camping best Merrell boots, they're the best ♪ 1857 01:27:56,020 --> 01:27:59,399 ♪ Lauryn Hill swaggin', playin' suckers Like a game of chess ♪ 1858 01:27:59,482 --> 01:28:02,694 ♪ Pants sagging, cargo pocket Packing heat, no Smith andamp; Wes ♪ 1859 01:28:02,777 --> 01:28:05,947 ♪ Mess with the balisong Let's take a trip and ride along ♪ 1860 01:28:06,030 --> 01:28:09,284 ♪ Bags packed, I got the bong Cheefing on some Tommy Chong ♪ 1861 01:28:09,367 --> 01:28:12,662 ♪ Oh, my God, what is wrong? I think I chopped my fucking dong ♪ 1862 01:28:12,745 --> 01:28:15,873 ♪ Yeah, it's true if you ain't noticed 6'1", two balls with no dick ♪ 1863 01:28:15,957 --> 01:28:19,294 ♪ What the fuck, I don't deserve this Chopped my dick, not on purpose ♪ 1864 01:28:19,377 --> 01:28:22,338 ♪ And Sean is out here nature twerking ♪ 1865 01:28:22,422 --> 01:28:25,633 ♪ Donnie's drunk and Sarah's mad Becky's pissed at Mom and Dad ♪ 1866 01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:29,137 ♪ Trying to throw a party After breaking up with fucking Chad ♪ 1867 01:28:29,220 --> 01:28:32,348 ♪ Now I'm here with no dick I pray to God and still no dick ♪ 1868 01:28:32,432 --> 01:28:35,226 ♪ I ain't got a dick But it don't mean shit ♪ 1869 01:28:35,310 --> 01:28:38,479 ♪ I can still smoke weed I can still get lit ♪ 1870 01:28:38,563 --> 01:28:41,733 ♪ And if you staring at my crotch Might as well take a pic ♪ 1871 01:28:41,816 --> 01:28:45,194 ♪ All the ladies come and flock 'Cause they miss my dick ♪ 1872 01:28:45,278 --> 01:28:48,323 ♪ I miss my dick I miss my dick, dick ♪ 1873 01:28:48,406 --> 01:28:50,658 ♪ I miss my dick, dick ♪ 1874 01:28:50,742 --> 01:28:52,994 ♪ I miss my dick I miss my dick ♪ 1875 01:28:53,077 --> 01:28:54,829 ♪ Dick, dick, yeah ♪ 1876 01:28:54,912 --> 01:28:58,416 ♪ I miss my dick, dick, dick ♪ 1877 01:28:59,042 --> 01:29:02,086 ♪ Balls wrapped in rubber bands Ready to die just like a cramp ♪ 1878 01:29:02,170 --> 01:29:05,465 ♪ Dead lobster, helicopter Pick me up, went to the hospital ♪ 1879 01:29:05,548 --> 01:29:08,509 ♪ Doctor says, "Impossible I have to sew your Popsicle" ♪ 1880 01:29:08,593 --> 01:29:11,679 ♪ Life is full of obstacles But this shit can't be possible ♪ 1881 01:29:11,763 --> 01:29:14,932 ♪ Like the way I lost my dick Doctor says too late, can't fix ♪ 1882 01:29:15,016 --> 01:29:18,144 ♪ Tell me, how could it be like this? Yo, dog, think of something quick ♪ 1883 01:29:18,227 --> 01:29:21,898 ♪ Tell me how am I gonna fuck my bitch How am I gonna live life without my dick ♪ 1884 01:29:21,981 --> 01:29:24,525 ♪ Can I get a boner? Organ donors? Put me on a wait list ♪ 1885 01:29:24,609 --> 01:29:26,694 ♪ Doc says face it I tried to tell you once ♪ 1886 01:29:26,778 --> 01:29:28,821 ♪ I don't wanna tell you twice ♪ 1887 01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:30,448 ♪ Major case of blue balls cooking ♪ 1888 01:29:30,531 --> 01:29:33,701 ♪ I'll be cumming rice By the time I get it back ♪ 1889 01:29:33,785 --> 01:29:35,411 ♪ Too late now, it's in his hands ♪ 1890 01:29:35,495 --> 01:29:38,748 ♪ Homies punked a redneck They said, "Nah, boy, you getting jack" ♪ 1891 01:29:38,831 --> 01:29:41,626 ♪ I ain't got a dick But it don't mean shit ♪ 1892 01:29:41,709 --> 01:29:44,921 ♪ I can still smoke weed I can still get lit ♪ 1893 01:29:45,004 --> 01:29:48,174 ♪ And if you staring at my crotch Might as well take a pic ♪ 1894 01:29:48,257 --> 01:29:51,386 ♪ All the ladies come and flock 'Cause they miss my dick ♪ 1895 01:29:51,469 --> 01:29:52,470 ♪ I miss my dick ♪ 1896 01:29:52,553 --> 01:29:56,182 -I miss my dick. I wish it was here. -♪ I miss my dick ♪ 1897 01:29:56,265 --> 01:29:59,811 -I dunno, I might... grow a beard, -♪ I miss my dick ♪ 1898 01:29:59,894 --> 01:30:04,107 -I might start playing World of Warcraft. -♪ I miss my dick ♪ 1899 01:30:09,695 --> 01:30:12,156 There's some trail mix in my teeth right now.