1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:19,766 --> 00:02:22,018 On the edge of outer space 4 00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:23,978 Space, space, space 5 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:26,064 She's the one with a serious face 6 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:28,191 Face, face, face, face, face 7 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:31,486 And I dropped in, checked it out 8 00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:33,655 Alien girls were all about 9 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,615 Eons since I had a date 10 00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:39,035 Another light-year's too long to wait 11 00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:41,037 - Earth girls - Are easy 12 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,373 - Earth girls - So easy 13 00:02:43,456 --> 00:02:45,583 Earth girls 14 00:02:50,088 --> 00:02:52,131 Hey, those girls are loads of fun 15 00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,217 Fun, fun, fun, fun 16 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,344 Even hotter than the sun 17 00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,012 Sun, sun, sun 18 00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,849 You know that I've had lots of girls 19 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:03,893 Most of them from other worlds 20 00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,020 While trippin' through the galaxy 21 00:03:06,104 --> 00:03:09,190 The Valley girls are the ones for me 22 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,442 - Earth girls - Are easy 23 00:03:11,526 --> 00:03:13,653 - Earth girls - So easy 24 00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:15,988 Earth girls 25 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,560 Earth girls 26 00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,272 Girls 27 00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:52,775 I've had lots of girls 28 00:03:52,859 --> 00:03:54,861 Most of them from other worlds 29 00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:57,071 Eons since I had a date 30 00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:59,991 Another light-year's too long to wait 31 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,285 - Earth girls - Are easy 32 00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:04,662 - Earth girls - So easy 33 00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,706 Earth girls 34 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:11,085 - Earth girls - Are easy 35 00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:13,212 - Earth girls - So easy 36 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,047 Earth girls 37 00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:17,592 - Earth girls - So easy 38 00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:19,594 So easy, so easy 39 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,804 - So easy - Earth girls 40 00:04:21,888 --> 00:04:23,848 Earth girls 41 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,631 Valerie. 42 00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:01,010 - I'm home. - Oh, no. Ted, wait. 43 00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:05,640 You're not supposed to see me in this before the wedding. It's bad luck. 44 00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:07,308 Don't worry about it. 45 00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:12,522 I mean, sweetheart, it's just some stupid superstition anyway. 46 00:05:13,523 --> 00:05:17,652 Yeah, you're right. We met on Friday 13th and look how happy we are. 47 00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:22,657 So, Ted, what happened? You said 11:00. 48 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:28,079 I'm sorry, Val. It was blood and guts night at the old emergency room. 49 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,122 Again? 50 00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:33,292 Gee, I wish you'd called me. 51 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:37,296 I would have, but, you know, five minutes on the phone 52 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:40,049 and that could, uh, cost a life. 53 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,259 You know that. 54 00:05:43,636 --> 00:05:45,221 I'm ready, Teddy. 55 00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:50,393 Oh, what a day. 56 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,605 Boy. 57 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,486 I was fluffing it for you. 58 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,584 Sweetheart, could you get the light, please? 59 00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:25,970 Teddy... 60 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,889 look what I found. 61 00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,974 Sweetheart, I'm sorry, 62 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:33,352 but I have to take out a gallbladder first thing in the morning. 63 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:36,731 - Tomorrow night. I promise. - No, I won't be here tomorrow night. 64 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:39,275 - I'll be at the Nail Expo. - What? 65 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:42,862 The Cuticle Convention, remember? I'll be gone till Monday. 66 00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:45,740 Oh, well, Monday, then. I promise. 67 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:54,415 I was reading an ad for these pyramids that you can get and put over the bed 68 00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,834 and they're supposed to increase sexual energy. 69 00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:59,170 - I thought we could... - Valerie, please. 70 00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,924 - Sorry. - Good night, sweetheart. 71 00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:04,008 Night. 72 00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:14,310 K-Earth 101 southland weather... another gorgeous day in L.A. 73 00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:18,856 Sunny and warm. 86 degrees in Malibu, 94 in the Valley, 88 in Hollywood. 74 00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:21,400 That's K-Earth 101 news. I'm Claudia Marshall. 75 00:07:50,221 --> 00:07:53,224 Hi, Miss Lana. Oh, I'm so sorry. 76 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:57,186 I missed our appointment. You look so great. 77 00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:01,357 - That's a great outfit. - Thanks, dear. That door's a real bitch. 78 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,152 - Hi, Val. - Morning. 79 00:08:05,236 --> 00:08:07,238 It's a really good color for me. 80 00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:10,324 - Wow. - Yeah. 81 00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:11,784 You need a fill. 82 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,830 - Morning, all. - Good morning. 83 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:19,166 You better have a note from your mother, young lady. 84 00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:26,716 I don't know. I'm just not that turned on by her lately. 85 00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,676 I hear oysters are good for potency. 86 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:32,596 Yeah, I tried that once, but they kept slipping off. 87 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,559 If I was any more potent, I'd kill somebody. 88 00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:38,102 - Whoa! - Oh, right! 89 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,021 No, no, no. 90 00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:42,773 I gave this cute, little nurse a ride home the other night, right? 91 00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:45,109 Yeah, and? 92 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,486 And nothing. I'm getting married next month. 93 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:51,115 And why are you so tardy, young lady? 94 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,576 I was up real late last night with Ted. 95 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:56,203 Dr. Dolittle finally came through, huh? 96 00:08:56,287 --> 00:08:58,372 No. He was dead on arrival. 97 00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:02,084 - Again? Sanka? - Sure. 98 00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:04,336 You know, at the rate we've been having sex, 99 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:06,464 we might as well be married already. 100 00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,758 What's it been, like, a week? 101 00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:09,884 Two weeks. 102 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:16,390 Valerie, Ted is obviously a victim of PMS. 103 00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:18,642 - What? - Premarital stress. 104 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:21,854 What'll snap him out of it? 105 00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:25,024 - A new woman. - Thanks. 106 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:28,277 Wait. That's it! We'll make you a new woman. 107 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,322 This is great. This is totally fabulous. Watch this. 108 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,033 Okay, let's see how you look on the makeover machine. 109 00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,201 Oh, housewife from hell. 110 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:40,790 Matron on drugs. Look at that. 111 00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:44,460 That's it. We'll make you blonde with blue eyes. 112 00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:47,880 I don't know. Maybe when I get back from the nail expo... 113 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:51,050 No, skip the expo. Stay home and ambush Ted. 114 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,385 What if he doesn't like it? 115 00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:56,430 At this point, what have you got to lose? 116 00:09:56,514 --> 00:09:58,099 I don't know. 117 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,643 Hey, come on, everybody. We're doing a makeover. 118 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,400 - A perm. - A perm. 119 00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,653 - A butch. - A butch. 120 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,446 - A facial. - A facial. 121 00:10:12,530 --> 00:10:14,573 - A body wrap. - A body wrap. 122 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:17,034 - Gravel scrub. - A gravel scrub. 123 00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:18,786 - Bikini wax. - Bikini wax. 124 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:19,870 A fall. 125 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:23,332 - We'll do it all. - All right! 126 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:37,471 It's time to face the music, It's time to make you see 127 00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:41,392 The root of all your problems is that you don't look like me 128 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:45,563 Now this is gonna hurt you, but I just got to say 129 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:49,608 Your love life's going nowhere 'cause you look like Doris Day 130 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,652 Who's the one they can't resist? 131 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:53,779 The brand new girl 132 00:10:53,863 --> 00:10:55,739 Who's on the most wanted list? 133 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,117 The brand new girl 134 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,829 Honey, if you vixenize, guaranteed he'll get a rise 135 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:05,666 - Believe that you can be a brand new - Brand new 136 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,626 - Brand new - Brand new 137 00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,670 - Brand new - Brand new 138 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,172 Brand new girl 139 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,851 You're cute and fresh and wholesome 140 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,769 But science has a cure 141 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,855 The natural look is nowhere 142 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,398 Your hairdresser knows for sure 143 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:33,319 You gotta learn the art of teasing, change your repertoire 144 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,863 All you need's a little faith 145 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:38,657 And a see-through pushup bra 146 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,413 If you wanna be a femme fatale 147 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:46,457 You can't rest on your L'Oreals 148 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,542 You know, I think she might be right 149 00:11:48,626 --> 00:11:50,336 Grab the bleach, she's seen the light 150 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:53,547 Maybelline 151 00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:55,633 Revlon 152 00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:57,509 Rubbermaid 153 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,512 Talk to me, Max Factor 154 00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:02,765 Who's the one they can't resist? 155 00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,934 - The brand new girl - Brand new 156 00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,727 Who's on the most wanted list? 157 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,938 The brand new girl 158 00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:11,190 Honey, if you vixenize 159 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,234 Guaranteed he'll get a rise 160 00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,611 Believe that can be a brand new 161 00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,863 - Brand new - Brand new 162 00:12:17,947 --> 00:12:19,698 - Brand new - Brand new 163 00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:22,785 - Brand new - Brand 164 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,745 New 165 00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:28,624 Girl 166 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:30,751 Girl. 167 00:12:36,966 --> 00:12:38,384 Hello, Dr. Gallagher. 168 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:41,637 Surprised? 169 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,015 Yes, it's me. 170 00:12:47,268 --> 00:12:51,188 Dr. Gallagher. Why are you looking at me like that? 171 00:12:53,983 --> 00:12:55,317 You want to do what? 172 00:12:56,402 --> 00:12:58,779 Oh, no, no. I couldn't. 173 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:02,908 No, no, please. Stop. 174 00:13:02,992 --> 00:13:04,827 No, no. 175 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:05,911 Well... 176 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:07,955 all right. 177 00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:13,168 Okay. Let's see. 178 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:18,048 Now, champagne, flowers, 179 00:13:18,132 --> 00:13:20,134 sushi, feathers... 180 00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,887 sensual oil... 181 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,556 right, 182 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,892 and incense or, let's see... 183 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,478 "Sprinkle a light bulb with your favorite perfume 184 00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:34,565 to sensualize the atmosphere of your love trap." 185 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:50,873 Oh, no! 186 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:55,753 Oh, God. He's here. 187 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:14,271 Well, this is where we live. 188 00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:18,067 - We? - Yeah. You know, 189 00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:21,862 me and... the cat, Bambi. 190 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,869 Just make yourself at home, all right? 191 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,245 Okay. 192 00:14:50,808 --> 00:14:53,060 " How to Drive a Man Crazy." 193 00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:05,531 Eat me, I'm a cookie! 194 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:10,494 I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed. 195 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,414 I didn't know Ted had company. I'm Valerie. 196 00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:15,874 I don't usually dress like this. 197 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,460 Here comes Dr. Love. 198 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:24,299 All right, Robin, a pileup. 199 00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:25,509 Who's your friend? 200 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:30,806 - Shit! Val. - Ted, what are you doing? 201 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:34,560 - Gee, nothing. - What... what is going on here? 202 00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,562 You brought a girl home to have sex? 203 00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,564 Well, you weren't supposed to be here, Val. 204 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:42,192 - You were going to have sex without me? - Well, no. Of course not. 205 00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:45,070 Look, I don't know what you two had in mind, 206 00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:48,949 but I'm really not into kinky scenes. Bye. 207 00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:52,536 Gee, Val, you look incredible. 208 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,414 You know, honey, she doesn't mean a thing to me, really. 209 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,999 If meaningless sex is what you want, 210 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,001 why can't you have it with me?! 211 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,170 I'm sorry. I made a stupid mistake. 212 00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:05,215 Hey, you know, I thought I wanted a last fling, that's all. 213 00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:08,010 You can't expect me to be more evolved than I really am. 214 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,762 Evolved? I'll show you evolved. 215 00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:13,182 Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Val. 216 00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:15,726 No, no. No, don't do that. That's very dangerous. 217 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,478 Cut it... Val, stop it! 218 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:18,562 Cut it out! 219 00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:23,233 Val, come on! 220 00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,693 Neighbors are watching! 221 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,282 Val, open up. Sweetheart, open the door! 222 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:32,618 You're wanted in emergency, Dr. Love. 223 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:36,163 Val, you can't do this to me! I'm a doctor! 224 00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:39,875 Here! 225 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,835 Take these with you, Dr. Love. 226 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,589 And don't come back! 227 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:54,973 Ted! 228 00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,061 Ted! 229 00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:02,397 Ted, where are you going? 230 00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,741 Go to bed, Mrs. Merkin! 231 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:21,750 You're a liar, and it took me forever 232 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,836 To figure that out 233 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:30,008 You could switch on a smile 234 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,427 Pretend to be tender 235 00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:36,974 But I know now what you're all about 236 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,434 What a nightmare 237 00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:43,230 My friends thought you were a dream 238 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,860 You could switch on a smile 239 00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:51,446 And seem so sincere 240 00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:55,033 But you don't even know what that means 241 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:59,788 I don't think you'll ever understand 242 00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:04,418 Ooh, did cheating on me make you feel like a man? 243 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:09,214 I used to worship the ground you walk on 244 00:18:09,298 --> 00:18:13,635 I did anything you wanted me to 245 00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:18,724 I used to worship the ground you walk on 246 00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:22,811 Now I've lost my faith in you 247 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,364 Sunday mornings I'd wake up 248 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,577 Lie in bed watching you sleep 249 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,499 It was almost religious 250 00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:47,336 How I believed in you 251 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:50,631 It hurt when you destroyed my belief 252 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:55,218 I don't think you'll ever understand 253 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:59,848 Ooh, did cheatin' on me make you feel like a man? 254 00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:04,519 I used to worship the ground you walk on 255 00:19:04,603 --> 00:19:08,607 I did anything you wanted me to 256 00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:13,695 I used to worship the ground you walk on 257 00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:17,449 Now I've lost my faith in you 258 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:22,579 Oh, I've lost my faith in you 259 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:38,804 I used to worship the ground you walk on 260 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:42,015 Didn't think I'd get by without you 261 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:46,937 Now I don't worship the ground you walk on 262 00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:51,650 And I'm stronger than I knew 263 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,446 I'm stronger than you knew 264 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:08,166 - Come here, you. - No, Doctor. What about your wife? 265 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,961 She's in a coma. You're not. 266 00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:13,004 No. 267 00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,760 John? John? 268 00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,766 You weasel dick! 269 00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:32,232 Hello. Oh, Candy. 270 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,026 The worst thing in the world happened. 271 00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:38,780 No, Bambi's fine. It's Ted. 272 00:20:38,864 --> 00:20:41,867 Yeah. The blonde thing did not work. 273 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:46,955 It's the show that shows the ins and outs of the southern California fitness craze. 274 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:50,083 Let's face it. Inner beauty is for losers... 275 00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:46,908 Mac! 276 00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:52,223 Oh, great. 277 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:57,604 Oh, this is too good. 278 00:23:57,687 --> 00:24:00,398 There's a giant blow dryer in my pool. 279 00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:11,159 Oh, shit! 280 00:24:11,242 --> 00:24:14,788 Goddamn it, Ted, you're not gonna control my mind when you're not here. 281 00:24:14,871 --> 00:24:16,831 Okay, Val. 282 00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:21,586 Just release all this negative energy out into the universe. 283 00:24:23,004 --> 00:24:24,965 You're just gonna swim right through it. 284 00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:32,657 Oh, Teddy bear. You're back. 285 00:25:45,003 --> 00:25:48,089 What is this? What's going on here? 286 00:25:49,466 --> 00:25:51,634 This isn't what it looks like, is it? 287 00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:53,803 - Is it? - Is it? 288 00:25:53,887 --> 00:25:57,640 Oh, my God, it is. It's a spaceship. 289 00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:59,768 Oh, like things weren't bad enough. 290 00:25:59,851 --> 00:26:01,394 Now I've been abducted by a UFO. 291 00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:06,357 Now, you guys... you're just gonna do some little experiments on me 292 00:26:06,441 --> 00:26:10,236 and then, um, let me go like in the National Enquirer, right? 293 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:11,571 - Right? - Right? 294 00:26:11,654 --> 00:26:12,655 Right? 295 00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:20,413 Okay, okay. Just don't take out anything I'm gonna need later. 296 00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:28,671 Come on, come on. Get it over with and then let me go, okay? 297 00:26:32,675 --> 00:26:34,677 I don't know why you abducted me anyway. 298 00:26:34,761 --> 00:26:37,347 I'm sure you're looking for somebody more important, 299 00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:39,182 - like Nancy Reagan. - Nancy Reagan. 300 00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:41,351 - Nancy Reagan. - Really, if you let me go, 301 00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:44,813 I'll tell you where to find her because, see, I'm just a manicurist. 302 00:26:44,896 --> 00:26:47,816 I don't know anything about anything except nails. 303 00:26:47,899 --> 00:26:49,442 - You know, nails. - Nails. 304 00:26:49,526 --> 00:26:50,527 - Nails. - Nails. 305 00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:51,611 Nibs. 306 00:26:56,199 --> 00:26:57,867 Really, I can keep my mouth shut. 307 00:26:57,951 --> 00:27:00,954 I'm the kind of person that you can tell anything to and I would never tell. 308 00:27:01,037 --> 00:27:05,375 Ask my cousin Debbie. You know, she got her boobs done, and I never told anyone. 309 00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:08,837 Oh, except I just told you. 310 00:27:13,174 --> 00:27:15,677 Oh, my God. You're aliens. 311 00:27:22,350 --> 00:27:23,434 Zeebo. 312 00:27:24,602 --> 00:27:26,729 Is that your name? Zeebo? 313 00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:29,649 Wiploc. 314 00:27:31,776 --> 00:27:33,945 Wiploc. Hi. 315 00:27:34,028 --> 00:27:36,114 Makelsolakveder. 316 00:27:36,197 --> 00:27:38,992 Maybe I'll just call you Mac. How's that? 317 00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:41,953 - Oh, and I'm Valerie. - Valerie. 318 00:27:42,036 --> 00:27:43,705 - "Walerie." - Volare. 319 00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:47,125 You guys aren't gonna to hurt me, are you? 320 00:27:50,461 --> 00:27:52,338 Your planet is weird. 321 00:27:52,422 --> 00:27:54,549 We're still in my pool. 322 00:27:58,386 --> 00:28:03,391 Well, listen. It was really nice meeting you, fellas, but I have to go. 323 00:28:03,474 --> 00:28:07,645 Feel free to use the pool, really, but you've caught me at sort of a bad time. 324 00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:27,582 Did I do that? I flooded the ship. 325 00:28:27,665 --> 00:28:30,251 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed. 326 00:28:30,335 --> 00:28:33,796 I'm really, really sorry, you guys, but I'm sure you can fix it, right? 327 00:28:37,008 --> 00:28:39,427 Don't freak out, really. This is just like the time 328 00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:42,347 that I dropped my lady Schick in the toilet. 329 00:28:42,430 --> 00:28:46,684 It's really... as soon as it dried out, it worked fine. Really. 330 00:28:52,607 --> 00:28:58,238 Let's go in my house and I'll make some lunch and I'll get the pool drained, 331 00:28:58,321 --> 00:29:02,784 and then you guys can take off, you know, back to your planet. 332 00:29:02,867 --> 00:29:04,702 Blast off. 333 00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:07,956 Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Comprende? 334 00:29:08,039 --> 00:29:10,291 - Comprende? - Comprende? 335 00:29:11,334 --> 00:29:12,335 Comprende. 336 00:29:26,307 --> 00:29:28,685 Be careful. This ladder's a little loose. 337 00:29:29,686 --> 00:29:31,980 Oh, I'm glad you can breathe okay. 338 00:29:32,063 --> 00:29:33,856 The air quality is actually very good today. 339 00:29:37,902 --> 00:29:39,821 Careful. It's kind of wet. 340 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,248 Okay? Well, come on. Let's go in the house. 341 00:29:52,166 --> 00:29:53,167 This way. 342 00:29:56,796 --> 00:29:59,757 Those are lemons. You know, lemonade, lemon Pledge. 343 00:30:00,925 --> 00:30:03,428 It's okay. It's a sprinkler. 344 00:30:03,511 --> 00:30:07,015 Listen, Earth people are gonna freak out if they see you. 345 00:30:07,098 --> 00:30:09,142 No offense, but you do look kinda like wookies, 346 00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:11,894 or werewolves or something, and people hate that. 347 00:30:11,978 --> 00:30:16,149 I mean, they're gonna wanna shoot you or something, so just be cool, okay? 348 00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:21,779 Let's go inside. Come on, come on. 349 00:30:23,531 --> 00:30:25,533 What's going on in my horoscope today? 350 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,373 Well, this is my house. 351 00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:35,209 Sorry about the mess. 352 00:30:35,293 --> 00:30:37,337 Make yourselves at home. 353 00:30:48,473 --> 00:30:50,224 Hi. This is Valerie Gale. 354 00:30:50,308 --> 00:30:52,810 Could you send Woody over to drain my pool? 355 00:30:52,894 --> 00:30:54,937 Yeah. Right away. It's an emergency. I... 356 00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:13,206 I've never seen her do that before! 357 00:31:13,289 --> 00:31:15,917 What is that, some kind of love touch? 358 00:31:21,297 --> 00:31:24,425 Hi. Yeah. Listen. This is a matter of life and death. 359 00:31:24,509 --> 00:31:26,636 See, I lost my contact lens in the pool... 360 00:31:26,719 --> 00:31:29,639 No, no. It's gotta be Woody. He found it the last time. 361 00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:33,643 Hey! Those are Ted's fish! 362 00:31:33,726 --> 00:31:34,852 Thanks. 363 00:31:34,936 --> 00:31:36,604 No. No. No. No. 364 00:31:36,687 --> 00:31:40,566 Not food! Not food! 365 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,904 Let's see. Not much here, 366 00:31:44,987 --> 00:31:48,032 but then, I didn't expect I'd be having aliens for lunch. 367 00:31:48,116 --> 00:31:52,245 Look. Low-cal Pop Tarts. These are natural. 368 00:31:54,205 --> 00:31:55,331 Great. 369 00:32:00,294 --> 00:32:03,631 Okay. We have an entree. What else? 370 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,845 Instant pudding! 371 00:32:08,928 --> 00:32:12,140 Add water? Too much work. 372 00:32:12,223 --> 00:32:14,308 Spray-on cheese! This is great. 373 00:32:16,269 --> 00:32:17,854 You have eggs on your planet? 374 00:32:20,064 --> 00:32:21,858 I could cook those for you. 375 00:32:32,743 --> 00:32:34,579 This is wonderful. 376 00:32:59,020 --> 00:33:01,022 Wiploc! No! No! Not there! 377 00:33:01,105 --> 00:33:02,899 No. Come with me. 378 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:15,328 Okay. So you go in there. 379 00:33:17,455 --> 00:33:19,499 No! No! Come here. No. 380 00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,919 You go in there. 381 00:33:23,002 --> 00:33:24,670 Go in there... 382 00:33:24,754 --> 00:33:27,173 Yeah. And then you flush. 383 00:33:59,288 --> 00:34:02,625 Oh, my God! Woody's here! Whatever you do, just stay inside. 384 00:35:02,643 --> 00:35:04,687 You are Americans. 385 00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:07,064 You're the product of the freest society... 386 00:35:10,151 --> 00:35:12,820 You're tearing me apart! 387 00:35:12,903 --> 00:35:16,324 You say one thing, he says another, and everybody changes back... 388 00:35:16,407 --> 00:35:19,076 - A new car! - A new car! 389 00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:26,500 Hey! How's it going? 390 00:35:27,710 --> 00:35:30,296 - Hey, Woody. - What's that you're sitting on? 391 00:35:30,379 --> 00:35:34,550 - Some kind of giant boogie board? - No, it's my new pool patio. 392 00:35:34,634 --> 00:35:36,927 - Bitchin', huh? - It's pretty rad. 393 00:35:38,638 --> 00:35:41,307 Whoa! Shoot the curl, kitty! 394 00:35:41,390 --> 00:35:43,643 Those little guys love the water, don't they? 395 00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:49,106 Listen, Valerie. How come you want your pool drained? 396 00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:51,734 How come? I don't know. 397 00:35:51,817 --> 00:35:55,363 You know, the water just seems really stale or something. 398 00:35:55,446 --> 00:35:57,531 We've seen a lot of that. 399 00:35:57,615 --> 00:35:59,241 So, how long is this gonna take? 400 00:36:00,576 --> 00:36:01,952 About a day. 401 00:36:04,497 --> 00:36:07,249 Whoa, check out the sets, man. 402 00:36:07,333 --> 00:36:10,586 If I was six inches tall, I'd be out there now. 403 00:36:10,670 --> 00:36:13,005 They were pumping like that this morning... 404 00:36:13,089 --> 00:36:15,383 - I don't believe this. - No, for real. 405 00:36:15,466 --> 00:36:18,886 And I was getting barreled in this totally cool tube. 406 00:36:18,969 --> 00:36:22,556 I had just Sex Waxed my board, really prem'. 407 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,726 Some hotdog shoots his board, hits me in the head. 408 00:36:25,810 --> 00:36:28,562 - Look at that. - This is the worst. 409 00:36:28,646 --> 00:36:31,148 Yeah, it would've been the ride of the decade, too. 410 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:34,610 Well, what am I supposed to do until tomorrow? 411 00:36:34,694 --> 00:36:37,488 Waste your brain. Wax your board. 412 00:36:37,571 --> 00:36:39,156 Pray for waves. 413 00:36:50,084 --> 00:36:52,128 Try this. What'll it be? 414 00:36:53,129 --> 00:36:55,881 What'll it be? 415 00:36:55,965 --> 00:36:59,135 Nice. Make me an Alaskan polar bear heater on the double. 416 00:36:59,218 --> 00:37:00,219 Come on, come on. 417 00:37:00,302 --> 00:37:03,764 We'll make our own music, gorgeous. You and you stay. 418 00:37:03,848 --> 00:37:06,851 Tubby, you go rest your thumbs. I'll drive. 419 00:37:06,934 --> 00:37:09,562 Now watch, baby. Every move a picture. 420 00:37:18,446 --> 00:37:21,741 Is there a doctor in the house? Not right now. 421 00:37:21,824 --> 00:37:24,702 Leave a message when you hear the beep. 422 00:37:24,785 --> 00:37:27,580 Valerie? Are you there? 423 00:37:27,663 --> 00:37:30,708 Please pick up. I need to talk to you. 424 00:37:30,791 --> 00:37:32,418 I'm sorry I was such an asshole. 425 00:37:33,627 --> 00:37:38,883 Val, you've got to believe this. I've never ever been unfaithful to you. Ever. 426 00:37:38,966 --> 00:37:42,553 I'm only guilty of a little kissy-face with one nurse. I swear. 427 00:37:42,636 --> 00:37:46,849 Sweetheart, tou stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life last night. 428 00:37:46,932 --> 00:37:50,770 Val, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. 429 00:37:50,853 --> 00:37:52,563 I'll see you when I get home. Bye. 430 00:37:58,110 --> 00:37:59,820 Come back to Finland. 431 00:37:59,904 --> 00:38:03,491 Come back to winter all year round. 432 00:38:03,574 --> 00:38:07,119 Come back to parkas and goat cheese. 433 00:38:07,203 --> 00:38:09,747 Finland knows what you want- 434 00:38:24,678 --> 00:38:26,263 Okay. Well, we're all set. 435 00:38:27,598 --> 00:38:29,934 - Finland is here? - Finland? 436 00:38:30,017 --> 00:38:31,685 No, this is the Valley. 437 00:38:31,769 --> 00:38:35,064 Finland is the capital of Norway. God, you guys sure learn fast. 438 00:38:35,147 --> 00:38:36,857 I'm sorry I was such an asshole. 439 00:38:38,192 --> 00:38:40,194 See you found a cable station. 440 00:38:40,277 --> 00:38:43,781 Valerie, are you there? Please pick up. 441 00:38:43,864 --> 00:38:45,699 Did Ted call? 442 00:38:45,783 --> 00:38:49,328 I'll be over right after work tonight. Okay, honey? Bye. 443 00:38:49,411 --> 00:38:51,455 Oh, my God! What am I gonna do? 444 00:38:51,539 --> 00:38:53,749 Ted is, like, a trained doctor. 445 00:38:53,833 --> 00:38:56,710 One look at you guys and he's gonna know you're not local. 446 00:38:59,505 --> 00:39:01,966 If I only had about zillion gallons of Nair. 447 00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:02,967 - Nair. - Nair. 448 00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:03,884 Nair. 449 00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:09,056 I'm a sex pixie 450 00:39:09,139 --> 00:39:10,891 Is that okay? 451 00:39:26,323 --> 00:39:28,367 Candy, whatever you do, don't freak out. 452 00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:29,994 - Valerie! - I mean it, don't freak out. 453 00:39:30,077 --> 00:39:32,872 - Promise me you won't freak out. - You are freaking me out! 454 00:39:32,955 --> 00:39:34,790 Okay, okay. Oh, my God. 455 00:39:34,874 --> 00:39:39,753 A UFO landed in my pool and they captured me, but we made friends, 456 00:39:39,837 --> 00:39:42,715 and I fed them Pop Tarts and they're here now, 457 00:39:42,798 --> 00:39:44,592 but Ted's coming home tonight, so you've got to cut their hair. 458 00:39:44,675 --> 00:39:48,554 - What did you say? - Nothing. I'm on drugs. 459 00:39:48,637 --> 00:39:50,264 Candy, you gotta help them. 460 00:39:50,347 --> 00:39:52,224 Would you listen to yourself? 461 00:39:52,308 --> 00:39:57,271 Valerie, no man is worth getting yourself in this state over. 462 00:39:57,354 --> 00:39:59,982 Mel Gibson, maybe, but not Ted! 463 00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:04,028 Valerie, come here. Just sit down, honey. 464 00:40:04,111 --> 00:40:06,614 Relax. Have a mental margarita. 465 00:40:06,697 --> 00:40:08,574 Candy, now I'm gonna show you something 466 00:40:08,657 --> 00:40:11,952 that's gonna totally change your life completely, forever, okay? 467 00:40:12,036 --> 00:40:14,663 Well, in that case, let me get a cigarette. 468 00:40:20,044 --> 00:40:22,796 You got little alien house guests... let's see 'em. 469 00:40:27,217 --> 00:40:28,510 Shit, Valerie! 470 00:40:28,594 --> 00:40:31,639 - Those are aliens! - I told you. 471 00:40:31,722 --> 00:40:33,974 Oh, God! Oh, shit! 472 00:40:34,058 --> 00:40:38,562 Valerie! Valerie! Those are... those are big aliens! 473 00:40:38,646 --> 00:40:42,524 What do they want from us? What do you want from us? 474 00:40:43,734 --> 00:40:46,320 Did they take control of your brain? 475 00:40:46,403 --> 00:40:47,655 I don't think so. 476 00:40:47,738 --> 00:40:49,573 Can they talk? 477 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,618 I ate all the Frusen Gladje. 478 00:40:52,701 --> 00:40:54,662 My panty shields make me feel fresh all day. 479 00:40:55,996 --> 00:40:57,498 Are they straight? 480 00:40:57,581 --> 00:40:59,291 I don't know. They're aliens. 481 00:40:59,375 --> 00:41:01,251 This is Mac, 482 00:41:01,335 --> 00:41:04,213 and this is Zeebo, and this is Wiploc. 483 00:41:06,507 --> 00:41:09,802 Well, they're just darling. Get 'em out of here. 484 00:41:09,885 --> 00:41:12,680 They can't leave until the pool is drained and you know Ted. 485 00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:15,724 I mean, if he finds out they're aliens, he'll wanna call Washington 486 00:41:15,808 --> 00:41:17,810 or dissect them or something. 487 00:41:17,893 --> 00:41:20,813 I mean, I think we could make them look more sort of human. 488 00:41:20,896 --> 00:41:23,357 Yeah, I thought you never wanted to see Ted again. 489 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,068 I don't. I just want to talk to him. 490 00:41:26,151 --> 00:41:27,778 Valerie, this is insane. 491 00:41:28,904 --> 00:41:31,281 Oh, God. They're, like, throwing up on my stuff! 492 00:41:31,365 --> 00:41:32,616 Come on, Candy. 493 00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:38,580 Well, I see split ends are universal. 494 00:41:42,376 --> 00:41:44,545 Lost in space with no conditioner, huh? 495 00:41:44,628 --> 00:41:46,797 I think they've been up there a long time. 496 00:41:49,717 --> 00:41:51,802 Well, it's all dead. It's got to come off. 497 00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:54,888 - Can you do it? - Does Tina Turner wear a wig? 498 00:41:54,972 --> 00:41:56,974 - That's a wig? - That's a wig. 499 00:41:57,057 --> 00:41:59,727 - Great! - No, thanks. It's got spit on it. 500 00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:03,313 - I'll get clothes! - But if I find one flea, the deal's off! 501 00:42:05,899 --> 00:42:09,278 Okay, Val, are you ready? I think they're almost done. 502 00:42:09,361 --> 00:42:12,114 Okay, with the big red one I went for the blond-surfer look. 503 00:42:17,453 --> 00:42:19,580 Which one is that? 504 00:42:19,663 --> 00:42:22,541 Wiploc. We are human now! 505 00:42:23,542 --> 00:42:25,586 I don't believe it! He's even cute! 506 00:42:25,669 --> 00:42:27,421 I know! Bitchin', huh? 507 00:42:29,131 --> 00:42:32,926 Val, you won't believe this. Okay... 508 00:42:34,470 --> 00:42:35,929 Surprise! 509 00:42:40,017 --> 00:42:41,060 Is that Zeebo? 510 00:42:42,061 --> 00:42:44,021 Oh, my God! You're, like, totally black! 511 00:42:47,649 --> 00:42:49,860 Okay... and... 512 00:42:49,943 --> 00:42:52,154 behind door number three... 513 00:42:52,237 --> 00:42:54,364 this is the ultimate! 514 00:43:07,336 --> 00:43:08,754 You're incredible. 515 00:43:13,008 --> 00:43:16,136 Well, it was easy. You know, I started on poodles. 516 00:43:17,346 --> 00:43:20,265 - Good? - Real good. 517 00:43:24,061 --> 00:43:26,688 Okay, okay. Group picture. Come on. 518 00:43:26,772 --> 00:43:28,607 Come on. Get down there. 519 00:43:31,735 --> 00:43:33,153 All right... 520 00:43:33,237 --> 00:43:35,948 now say, Velveeta Slices. 521 00:43:41,036 --> 00:43:43,205 Okay, you guys, what's the plan for tonight? 522 00:43:43,288 --> 00:43:45,249 Whoa! Candy, reality check. 523 00:43:45,332 --> 00:43:47,668 We can't go out with these guys. They're aliens. 524 00:43:47,751 --> 00:43:50,838 So? They can still be dates! 525 00:43:50,921 --> 00:43:53,340 Do you guys have Margaritas on your planet? 526 00:43:53,423 --> 00:43:56,260 Candy, it's just not safe. I'll give you a lift home and that's it. 527 00:43:56,343 --> 00:43:58,011 Don't get your panties in a bunch. 528 00:43:58,095 --> 00:44:02,641 We're with three major cute guys and it's Saturday night! Come on! 529 00:44:10,149 --> 00:44:12,901 You guys are so lucky you crashed in the Valley. 530 00:44:12,985 --> 00:44:15,112 I mean, it's the baddest place on earth. 531 00:44:23,954 --> 00:44:25,497 Candy, sit down! 532 00:44:27,374 --> 00:44:28,584 Hi, sweets. 533 00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:32,713 I think we'd like to keep a low profile, Candy. 534 00:44:32,796 --> 00:44:35,174 Guys, whatcha doing later? 535 00:44:39,052 --> 00:44:41,847 You know, I never would have believed that this could happen. 536 00:44:41,930 --> 00:44:44,600 What, that you'd be cruising the boulevard with shaved Martians? 537 00:44:44,683 --> 00:44:47,895 No. That Ted would do this to me. 538 00:44:47,978 --> 00:44:51,106 Men, boy. Give 'em enough rope and they'll dig their own grave. 539 00:44:51,190 --> 00:44:55,110 - So true. - He said he wanted one last fling. 540 00:44:55,194 --> 00:44:57,779 Maybe that's normal, I don't know. 541 00:44:57,863 --> 00:44:59,990 I'm sure we'll be happy once we're married, 542 00:45:00,073 --> 00:45:03,160 but I just can't pretend like this didn't happen, you know? 543 00:45:03,243 --> 00:45:06,371 Valerie, you work so hard to make Ted happy. 544 00:45:06,455 --> 00:45:08,081 Who is making you happy? 545 00:45:17,382 --> 00:45:19,009 Finland babes! 546 00:45:22,262 --> 00:45:24,431 Hey, didn't you go to Van Nuys High? 547 00:45:25,432 --> 00:45:26,808 Van Nuys High? 548 00:45:26,892 --> 00:45:30,312 - Aren't you Terry Harper's brother? - Terry Harper's brother? 549 00:45:31,772 --> 00:45:33,815 Someone oughta hose those girls down. 550 00:45:33,899 --> 00:45:36,735 - Wanna party? - Wanna party? 551 00:45:36,818 --> 00:45:38,195 Yeah, come on! 552 00:45:40,113 --> 00:45:41,281 Wiploc! 553 00:45:44,618 --> 00:45:45,953 Wiploc! 554 00:45:49,623 --> 00:45:51,166 Look! There they are! 555 00:45:55,337 --> 00:45:57,297 Okay, don't worry. I'll go get him. 556 00:45:57,381 --> 00:45:59,091 - Me, too. - Me, too, too. 557 00:45:59,174 --> 00:46:01,051 Wait, I don't think we all should go. 558 00:46:01,134 --> 00:46:02,844 It's only gonna take a minute. 559 00:46:08,225 --> 00:46:10,143 Come on, you guys, what are you doing? 560 00:46:32,291 --> 00:46:33,875 Where did you buy those? 561 00:46:33,959 --> 00:46:37,546 - They're my dad's. - Those are fabulous. 562 00:46:37,629 --> 00:46:38,630 I know. 563 00:47:11,246 --> 00:47:13,707 Valerie! Hi! Over here! 564 00:47:13,790 --> 00:47:15,584 - Candy! - Hi! 565 00:47:15,667 --> 00:47:17,753 Are you nuts? What are you doing? 566 00:47:17,836 --> 00:47:19,796 Having cocktails. 567 00:47:21,381 --> 00:47:23,550 Alaskan polar bear heater. 568 00:47:23,633 --> 00:47:24,676 Candy, give me a break. 569 00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:29,181 Ted is coming home tonight and there's a UFO in my pool. A UFO! 570 00:47:29,264 --> 00:47:32,642 B.F.D. Ted's not gonna be there for a few hours. 571 00:47:32,726 --> 00:47:35,854 - Just chill out, Val. - We have to get these guys out of here 572 00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:38,357 before anyone figures out they're aliens. 573 00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:41,443 No one's going to know they're aliens, okay? 574 00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:42,527 Tonya! 575 00:47:43,987 --> 00:47:45,822 Hi. You know Val. 576 00:47:45,906 --> 00:47:48,617 - And this is Mac, Wiploc, and Zeebo. - Hi. 577 00:47:48,700 --> 00:47:50,660 They're from Mars or something! Could you die? 578 00:47:51,745 --> 00:47:53,622 Hey, Zeebo, wanna dance? 579 00:47:55,290 --> 00:47:57,667 - Wanna dance? - Great idea. 580 00:48:00,587 --> 00:48:01,797 Wiploc. 581 00:48:03,465 --> 00:48:06,510 - Should I dance? - Sure. 582 00:48:06,593 --> 00:48:09,096 Fine. Hey, party down. 583 00:48:09,179 --> 00:48:12,307 When you're ready for your chauffeur, I'll be out on the patio. 584 00:48:14,768 --> 00:48:16,395 What's her problem? 585 00:48:19,189 --> 00:48:20,607 Two weeks? 586 00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:33,829 Come on. Let's dance. 587 00:48:41,169 --> 00:48:42,170 He left? 588 00:49:04,067 --> 00:49:06,570 You, go rest your thumbs. I'll drive. 589 00:49:37,809 --> 00:49:39,853 You can actually play that? 590 00:49:39,936 --> 00:49:42,981 Valerie, are we limp and hard to manage? 591 00:49:43,982 --> 00:49:46,902 Oh, no, no. You're fine. 592 00:49:46,985 --> 00:49:50,697 I'm sorry. I just don't feel like talking much. 593 00:49:51,907 --> 00:49:54,784 I guess I figured that everything would just fall into place 594 00:49:54,868 --> 00:49:58,038 - if I found Mr. Right. - Mr. Right? 595 00:49:59,039 --> 00:50:00,415 Yeah. 596 00:50:00,499 --> 00:50:03,376 Mr. Right is like the guy you dream of meeting 597 00:50:03,460 --> 00:50:04,753 ever since you're a little girl. 598 00:50:05,754 --> 00:50:09,508 And you'd go anyplace or do anything to be together. 599 00:50:09,591 --> 00:50:13,345 And he feels the same way about you because you're right for each other. 600 00:50:15,180 --> 00:50:18,266 I don't know. Maybe I'm kidding myself. 601 00:50:18,350 --> 00:50:19,935 Maybe there's no such thing. 602 00:50:41,998 --> 00:50:44,042 - Hey, baby. - Hi. 603 00:50:44,125 --> 00:50:46,711 Why be with a zero when you can dance with a hero? 604 00:51:29,629 --> 00:51:33,049 Yo, baby. Why be with a hero when you can dance with a zero? 605 00:51:55,905 --> 00:51:58,867 - Hey, hey, hey! - Back off, Jack! 606 00:51:58,950 --> 00:52:01,077 The lucky lady's with me, all right? 607 00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:03,079 And don't be copping my dance moves. 608 00:52:03,163 --> 00:52:05,415 I'll dance with you both. I don't care. 609 00:52:05,498 --> 00:52:08,668 No, no, no. You don't understand. He can't dance. 610 00:52:09,669 --> 00:52:12,255 All right. I know he can't do this. 611 00:52:29,481 --> 00:52:31,399 Yeah, go! 612 00:52:54,881 --> 00:52:55,715 Come on, man. 613 00:52:59,469 --> 00:53:01,680 Hot damn! Hot damn! 614 00:53:22,742 --> 00:53:24,369 All right! Hey! 615 00:54:10,290 --> 00:54:11,416 Damn! 616 00:54:23,094 --> 00:54:27,098 - I'm going home with him. - I'm going home with him. 617 00:54:28,558 --> 00:54:30,310 I'm going home with him. 618 00:54:32,937 --> 00:54:33,938 Bitch. 619 00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:38,109 You know, I don't even know what planet you're from. 620 00:54:38,193 --> 00:54:39,194 Jhazalla. 621 00:54:40,528 --> 00:54:42,322 We've only been as far as the Moon. 622 00:54:46,659 --> 00:54:48,703 You know, at first, 623 00:54:48,787 --> 00:54:53,166 I thought you kind of looked like a giant Bigfoot or something, 624 00:54:53,249 --> 00:54:58,129 but now, I mean, if I didn't know that you were an alien, 625 00:54:58,213 --> 00:55:01,049 I would just think that you were a really cute guy... 626 00:55:02,509 --> 00:55:04,761 who, I'm sure, has a girlfriend. 627 00:55:04,844 --> 00:55:07,514 No Mr. Right girlfriend. 628 00:55:21,820 --> 00:55:23,112 My God, that's Wiploc. 629 00:55:26,950 --> 00:55:29,661 All right! All right! 630 00:55:43,842 --> 00:55:45,969 Give me your autograph on my forehead. 631 00:55:46,052 --> 00:55:47,303 Sign these. 632 00:55:50,974 --> 00:55:53,852 I can't believe you're frenching an alien in front of all these people. 633 00:55:58,356 --> 00:56:02,610 We go, okay? Come on. Wiploc. 634 00:56:02,694 --> 00:56:05,655 No, I want to be zero. I want to be zero. 635 00:56:08,116 --> 00:56:09,367 No, no, no. 636 00:56:14,205 --> 00:56:16,374 Candy, I'll call ya. 637 00:56:17,417 --> 00:56:19,878 - What was it like? - Oh, my God! You're so lucky! 638 00:56:19,961 --> 00:56:21,254 Did you get his number? 639 00:56:22,463 --> 00:56:24,465 I want his baby. 640 00:56:27,260 --> 00:56:30,597 Sweetheart? Sweetheart, I'm sorry. 641 00:56:31,598 --> 00:56:32,599 Val? 642 00:56:36,936 --> 00:56:38,605 Honey? 643 00:56:38,688 --> 00:56:39,856 Hey, Val? 644 00:56:45,612 --> 00:56:47,822 What? Oh, wait a second. 645 00:56:47,906 --> 00:56:50,450 They said the Commodore would stand up to anything. 646 00:56:53,286 --> 00:56:55,121 Beemer? Beemer? 647 00:56:57,123 --> 00:56:58,124 Beemer. 648 00:57:00,251 --> 00:57:01,961 Aston, where's Martin? 649 00:57:02,045 --> 00:57:04,047 Where's Martin? Where's Val? All right, don't panic. 650 00:57:04,130 --> 00:57:07,550 She probably wasn't here when it happened. 651 00:57:07,634 --> 00:57:10,011 Operator, give me the police. It's an emergency. 652 00:57:23,566 --> 00:57:26,945 Police? This is Dr. Gallagher. 653 00:57:27,028 --> 00:57:29,656 I'd like to report a break-in 654 00:57:29,739 --> 00:57:32,200 and... and a possible kidnapping. 655 00:57:33,201 --> 00:57:34,994 Oh, God. Ted's here. 656 00:57:35,078 --> 00:57:37,830 You guys, act human, okay? 657 00:57:37,914 --> 00:57:39,374 Just act human. 658 00:57:40,708 --> 00:57:42,627 Sweetheart, you're all right. 659 00:57:43,628 --> 00:57:45,964 I was so worried about you. 660 00:57:46,047 --> 00:57:48,591 When I came home, the house was totally wrecked. 661 00:57:51,761 --> 00:57:55,306 - Who are they? - Who? Those guys? 662 00:57:55,390 --> 00:57:57,350 - Yeah. - A band. 663 00:57:57,433 --> 00:58:00,353 Boy, I'm totally clear. 664 00:58:00,436 --> 00:58:03,815 - What's up, Doc? - You mean like a rock 'n' roll band? 665 00:58:03,898 --> 00:58:06,192 What are you doing with a band, Val? 666 00:58:06,275 --> 00:58:08,403 I won them on MTV. 667 00:58:08,486 --> 00:58:11,447 I won an MTV weekend with a band. 668 00:58:11,531 --> 00:58:14,492 Hi. I am Mac. 669 00:58:14,575 --> 00:58:16,285 How is it hanging, Mr. Dude? 670 00:58:16,369 --> 00:58:18,162 - Dr. Dude. - Dr. Dude. 671 00:58:19,872 --> 00:58:21,457 No, Val. Wait a minute. 672 00:58:21,541 --> 00:58:23,960 Listen, I came home to talk to you alone. 673 00:58:24,043 --> 00:58:25,795 I'm sorry, fellas. This is private. 674 00:58:25,878 --> 00:58:27,672 I'm sure you won't mind when I ask you to leave. 675 00:58:27,755 --> 00:58:31,426 Leave? No, no, they can't leave. They're spending the weekend. 676 00:58:31,509 --> 00:58:33,594 No, no, Val. They can't spend the weekend. 677 00:58:33,678 --> 00:58:35,388 This is my house. I say they're out of here. 678 00:58:35,471 --> 00:58:38,850 Your house? Wait, wait. I think I threw you out, Dr. Love. 679 00:58:38,933 --> 00:58:40,852 Yeah? Well, now I'm gonna throw them out. 680 00:58:40,935 --> 00:58:42,729 - So what do you think of that? - No, you're not. 681 00:58:42,812 --> 00:58:44,897 - Yes, I am. They're out of... - No. 682 00:58:44,981 --> 00:58:47,066 - I won them. I get to... - What? 683 00:58:47,150 --> 00:58:52,363 - You're tearing me apart! - Val, these guys are too weird. 684 00:58:52,447 --> 00:58:54,157 You have no business being with people like that. 685 00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:56,451 Listen, I never won a band before and I get them for the whole weekend, 686 00:58:56,534 --> 00:58:57,535 so they're staying. 687 00:58:57,618 --> 00:58:59,412 I want you to be happy. That's fine, but... 688 00:58:59,495 --> 00:59:00,663 - Dr. Dude? - What is it now? 689 00:59:03,166 --> 00:59:05,918 - For you is good. - You animal! 690 00:59:06,919 --> 00:59:09,839 I oughta give you a tracheotomy. Do you know who that was? 691 00:59:09,922 --> 00:59:11,257 - That was Mercedes. - No, Ted, don't! 692 00:59:11,340 --> 00:59:14,010 My most expensive fish! Do you know how much Mercedes cost me? 693 00:59:14,093 --> 00:59:16,179 - He cost me 300 bucks! - Hey, what's going on here? 694 00:59:16,262 --> 00:59:18,056 All right, all right. Break it up. 695 00:59:18,139 --> 00:59:20,975 - Hey, hey! Come on! - Break it up. 696 00:59:21,059 --> 00:59:24,687 - What are you doing? - Who's Dr. Gallagher? 697 00:59:24,771 --> 00:59:28,316 - I'm Dr. Gallagher. - Uh-huh. I'm Officer Demonte. 698 00:59:28,399 --> 00:59:30,193 This is Officer Murphy. 699 00:59:30,276 --> 00:59:32,695 You reported a break-in and possible kidnapping? 700 00:59:32,779 --> 00:59:37,241 Yes, I did, officer, but, thank God, she's here now and she's fine. 701 00:59:37,325 --> 00:59:40,787 However, these degenerates broke into my home 702 00:59:40,870 --> 00:59:43,956 and destroyed my property and I want them arrested right now. 703 00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:45,792 - They're MTV scum! - All right. 704 00:59:45,875 --> 00:59:48,503 Ma'am, you mind telling us what's really going on here? 705 00:59:48,586 --> 00:59:50,088 Officer, sir, 706 00:59:50,171 --> 00:59:53,925 this man does not live here anymore, and he's strangling my guests. 707 00:59:54,008 --> 00:59:57,678 - He was eating my Blue-Gilled Dorky. - Hey, watch your mouth! 708 00:59:57,762 --> 01:00:00,807 10-13. We got a false report. 709 01:00:01,849 --> 01:00:04,477 Just a domestic dispute. 710 01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:07,772 His girlfriend dumped him for a rock band. 711 01:00:07,855 --> 01:00:10,274 - That's bullshit! - Hey, buddy. 712 01:00:10,358 --> 01:00:12,777 Maybe you need to go someplace and cool off, huh? 713 01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:14,195 Let go of me! I'm a doctor! 714 01:00:14,278 --> 01:00:16,906 Good, if we have to bust your arm, you can put on your own cast. 715 01:00:16,989 --> 01:00:20,159 You're right, Val. There is a lot I don't know about you, 716 01:00:20,243 --> 01:00:23,329 but if you thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with you 717 01:00:23,412 --> 01:00:27,625 and your weird friends and that psychotic cat of yours, you're crazy! 718 01:00:27,708 --> 01:00:30,503 - The wedding's off, Val! - Come on, buddy. 719 01:00:35,633 --> 01:00:37,927 You wanna dance with a zero? 720 01:00:38,010 --> 01:00:39,971 I'm sorry. 721 01:00:40,054 --> 01:00:42,473 I think I have to go to my room now. 722 01:01:18,843 --> 01:01:20,219 Is Ted coming back? 723 01:01:24,724 --> 01:01:26,684 No. Ted doesn't wanna come back. 724 01:01:28,477 --> 01:01:32,773 I don't know what Ted wants, but it's not me. 725 01:01:32,857 --> 01:01:34,192 What does Valerie want? 726 01:01:36,819 --> 01:01:39,447 I don't know. I just wanna be happy. 727 01:01:41,199 --> 01:01:42,992 Mac could make Valerie happy. 728 01:01:45,494 --> 01:01:49,165 Thanks, but I don't think anybody could make me feel very good right now. 729 01:01:50,166 --> 01:01:53,794 Mac could make Valerie feel very, very good. 730 01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,424 Wait a minute. Are you, like, coming on to me? 731 01:01:58,507 --> 01:02:01,177 Is this a pass? Because, I mean, if it is, 732 01:02:01,260 --> 01:02:04,180 sex is, like, totally out of the question. 733 01:02:04,263 --> 01:02:05,890 What is sex? 734 01:02:06,891 --> 01:02:09,727 Sex... you know, making love. 735 01:02:11,229 --> 01:02:14,607 A man and a woman like each other, and they take their clothes off, and... 736 01:02:15,650 --> 01:02:18,861 - Okay. - Well, no, no, no! 737 01:02:18,945 --> 01:02:22,782 We can't. No, because, I mean, me and Ted are... 738 01:02:22,865 --> 01:02:25,117 well, I guess we're not, but, I mean... 739 01:02:25,201 --> 01:02:29,872 we can't because, I mean, you're an alien, and I'm from the Valley. 740 01:02:29,956 --> 01:02:33,542 We may not even be, you know, anatomically correct for each other. 741 01:02:33,626 --> 01:02:35,753 That could be a real problem. 742 01:02:39,215 --> 01:02:42,176 No problem. But, I mean, no, no, no. 743 01:02:42,260 --> 01:02:44,262 I mean, it just wouldn't work. 744 01:02:44,345 --> 01:02:47,932 I mean, you're from out of town. The phone bills would just be hell... 745 01:02:50,393 --> 01:02:53,312 Well, I just don't want you to think 746 01:02:53,396 --> 01:02:55,731 - Earth girls are easy. - What is easy? 747 01:02:57,984 --> 01:02:59,110 This is easy. 748 01:05:18,666 --> 01:05:21,085 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 749 01:05:21,168 --> 01:05:24,004 - I told you not to have fun. - I wasn't. 750 01:05:40,312 --> 01:05:41,355 Help! 751 01:05:56,579 --> 01:05:58,247 Ted! 752 01:06:00,583 --> 01:06:02,293 Help! 753 01:06:04,128 --> 01:06:07,631 Don't go anywhere. I've been paged. 754 01:06:07,715 --> 01:06:10,259 - Oh, sweetheart. - Ted. 755 01:06:10,342 --> 01:06:12,219 - Ted, make it stop. - Oh, hey. 756 01:06:12,303 --> 01:06:13,679 Ted. 757 01:06:15,723 --> 01:06:18,350 What happened to my fish? 758 01:06:21,729 --> 01:06:23,147 Ted! 759 01:06:31,030 --> 01:06:32,865 Beemer! 760 01:06:32,948 --> 01:06:35,075 Your face! What happened? 761 01:06:43,876 --> 01:06:45,794 Don't! 762 01:06:45,878 --> 01:06:49,340 Stop. Stop it, stop it! 763 01:07:29,338 --> 01:07:30,339 Hi. 764 01:07:31,715 --> 01:07:32,716 Hi. 765 01:07:38,055 --> 01:07:41,600 God, I had the weirdest dream last night. 766 01:07:41,684 --> 01:07:42,935 All I remember is... 767 01:07:52,236 --> 01:07:54,029 You have the strangest heartbeat. 768 01:07:55,197 --> 01:07:56,991 Sounds like you have two hearts. 769 01:07:57,074 --> 01:07:59,493 Yes. Don't you? 770 01:08:01,412 --> 01:08:03,747 No, I just have one. 771 01:08:05,374 --> 01:08:06,917 Tell me about Zimbabwe. 772 01:08:08,043 --> 01:08:11,880 - Jhazalla? - Jhazalla. Is it like Earth? 773 01:08:12,881 --> 01:08:14,466 Yes. It's beautiful. 774 01:08:14,550 --> 01:08:16,468 Sounds neat. 775 01:08:16,552 --> 01:08:20,472 - Is driving a UFO a good job? - Oh, yes. 776 01:08:20,556 --> 01:08:23,267 Do you own your own home or do you rent? 777 01:08:23,350 --> 01:08:25,060 No water. Come look. 778 01:09:33,295 --> 01:09:34,713 Hi, guys. 779 01:09:34,797 --> 01:09:36,590 Hope instant decaf is okay. 780 01:09:36,674 --> 01:09:40,552 Breakfast is on the way. I'm making pancakes from scratch. 781 01:09:40,636 --> 01:09:43,097 Yeah. Valerie, uh... 782 01:09:43,180 --> 01:09:44,890 we can go home now. 783 01:09:47,810 --> 01:09:50,270 Gee, that's great. 784 01:09:54,983 --> 01:09:57,194 - I didn't think it would be so soon. - Yeah. 785 01:09:59,488 --> 01:10:01,740 That's, that's really good. 786 01:10:03,659 --> 01:10:05,160 Yeah. Valerie... 787 01:10:08,706 --> 01:10:12,084 Well, I better go get that. 788 01:10:12,167 --> 01:10:13,377 Pool man! 789 01:10:15,379 --> 01:10:17,131 Hey, dudes, what's happening? 790 01:10:18,424 --> 01:10:20,384 - Woody. - Woody. 791 01:10:21,719 --> 01:10:23,679 What is this? 792 01:10:23,762 --> 01:10:25,889 - A spaceship? - Spaceship? 793 01:10:29,435 --> 01:10:31,145 - No way, Jose, Woody. - No. 794 01:10:31,228 --> 01:10:33,522 - What is it, then? - A car. 795 01:10:33,605 --> 01:10:36,316 Oh! That's why she wanted me to drain it. 796 01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:40,320 She drove her car into the pool. I'm always doing that. 797 01:10:41,697 --> 01:10:43,907 Pretty rad car, though. Where is it made? 798 01:10:44,908 --> 01:10:45,826 Finland. 799 01:10:45,909 --> 01:10:47,327 - Finland. - Finland. 800 01:10:47,411 --> 01:10:49,246 Oh, I heard of that. 801 01:10:49,329 --> 01:10:53,250 Ted, bringing that girl here was inexcusable, 802 01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:55,836 but now that I've slept on it, 803 01:10:55,919 --> 01:10:59,882 I could probably forgive you, but what about calling off the wedding? 804 01:10:59,965 --> 01:11:02,217 Sweetheart, I didn't mean that. 805 01:11:02,301 --> 01:11:05,512 Marrying you is the most important thing in the world right now. 806 01:11:05,596 --> 01:11:07,389 I need you to take care of me. 807 01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:12,519 And I promise, I won't so much as look at another woman, so long as I live. 808 01:11:12,603 --> 01:11:16,815 Well, unless, of course, I'm giving her a physical examination. 809 01:11:16,899 --> 01:11:18,442 Well, I hope not. 810 01:11:18,525 --> 01:11:22,154 A relationship is a lot like a porcelain nail, Ted. 811 01:11:22,237 --> 01:11:24,782 You can break it and you can glue it back together, 812 01:11:24,865 --> 01:11:26,867 but it's not gonna be as strong as it was 813 01:11:26,950 --> 01:11:30,162 unless the person is really committed and not bringing home nurses. 814 01:11:30,245 --> 01:11:33,373 Whoa, you should've seen me today, man. 815 01:11:33,457 --> 01:11:36,293 Nothing but radical rips all the way in. 816 01:11:36,376 --> 01:11:37,628 You want some slushy? 817 01:11:39,171 --> 01:11:42,841 Yeah, I was barely off my board and the wahines are all over me. 818 01:11:43,926 --> 01:11:45,260 Wahines! 819 01:11:45,344 --> 01:11:48,972 Wahines. You know, girls? 820 01:11:49,056 --> 01:11:51,850 - Girls? - You know girls? 821 01:11:51,934 --> 01:11:54,061 Does the Woodburger know girls? 822 01:11:54,144 --> 01:11:56,313 Pinocchio got a wooden butt? 823 01:11:57,981 --> 01:12:01,151 I could fix you up with some bodacious chicks just like that. 824 01:12:02,444 --> 01:12:04,530 - Don't believe me? - Like that. 825 01:12:04,613 --> 01:12:08,450 Come on. Let's hit the beach. Ride the wild bikinis! 826 01:12:09,993 --> 01:12:11,620 - We go get Candy? - Yeah. 827 01:12:11,703 --> 01:12:14,581 Candy, gum, beer nuts, anything you want. 828 01:12:14,665 --> 01:12:17,042 Twizzlers. I got some Milk Duds. 829 01:12:17,125 --> 01:12:19,628 You oughta lay off coffee, though, man. It'll kill you in a day. 830 01:12:20,629 --> 01:12:24,299 I know where I'm gonna take you. I'm gonna take you to Zuma Beach. 831 01:12:24,383 --> 01:12:28,178 I need surprises. I need romance. 832 01:12:28,262 --> 01:12:33,475 I mean, how long has it been since you said I love you, I need you, 833 01:12:33,559 --> 01:12:35,477 I'm crazy about you? 834 01:12:37,938 --> 01:12:39,648 Well, Ted? 835 01:12:39,731 --> 01:12:41,567 Come on, get in the car, will you? 836 01:12:41,650 --> 01:12:44,820 Wiploc. Zeebo. 837 01:12:48,991 --> 01:12:51,535 Zeebo going to Zuma Beach! 838 01:12:52,911 --> 01:12:54,997 Zeebo! Wiploc! 839 01:12:56,206 --> 01:12:59,543 Hey, dudes. I just remembered something. 840 01:12:59,626 --> 01:13:01,295 What was it? Oh, yeah. 841 01:13:01,378 --> 01:13:04,798 At the beach today, they're having a blonde-of-the-month contest. 842 01:13:04,882 --> 01:13:05,883 Blonde? 843 01:13:05,966 --> 01:13:10,262 Yeah, you know, blonde beach bunnies. California's finest. 844 01:13:24,776 --> 01:13:27,529 Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think 845 01:13:27,613 --> 01:13:30,449 I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks 846 01:13:30,532 --> 01:13:33,035 Don't have to worry about getting a man 847 01:13:33,118 --> 01:13:35,787 If I keep this blonde and I keep these tanned 848 01:13:35,871 --> 01:13:38,582 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah 849 01:13:38,665 --> 01:13:41,627 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah 850 01:13:41,710 --> 01:13:44,630 I see people working, it just makes me giggle 851 01:13:44,713 --> 01:13:47,382 'Cause I don't have to work, I just have to jiggle 852 01:13:47,466 --> 01:13:50,052 'Cause I'm blonde, B-L-O-N-D-E 853 01:13:50,135 --> 01:13:53,096 'Cause I'm a blonde, don't you wish you were me? 854 01:13:53,180 --> 01:13:56,141 I never learned to read and I never learned to cook 855 01:13:56,224 --> 01:13:59,019 Why should I bother when I look like I look? 856 01:13:59,102 --> 01:14:01,813 I know lots of people are smarter than me 857 01:14:01,897 --> 01:14:05,525 But I have this philosophy-.. So what? 858 01:14:07,319 --> 01:14:10,280 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah 859 01:14:10,364 --> 01:14:13,241 I see girls without dates and I feel so sorry for them 860 01:14:13,325 --> 01:14:16,036 'Cause whenever I'm around all the men ignore them 861 01:14:16,119 --> 01:14:18,622 'Cause I'm blonde, nyah, nyah, nyah 862 01:14:18,705 --> 01:14:21,792 'Cause I'm a blonde, nyah, nyah, nyah 863 01:14:21,875 --> 01:14:24,670 They say to make it you need talent and ambition 864 01:14:24,753 --> 01:14:27,339 Well, I got a TV show and this was my audition 865 01:14:28,340 --> 01:14:30,592 Okay, what was it? Okay, don't tell me. 866 01:14:30,676 --> 01:14:32,970 Oh, yeah, okay. "Duck, Magnum, duck!" 867 01:14:33,053 --> 01:14:35,847 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah 868 01:14:35,931 --> 01:14:38,892 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah 869 01:14:38,976 --> 01:14:42,062 I took an IQ test, and I flunked it, of course 870 01:14:42,145 --> 01:14:44,439 I can't spell "VW," but I got a Porsche 871 01:14:44,523 --> 01:14:47,025 'Cause I'm a blonde, B-L-O-N-D-E 872 01:14:47,109 --> 01:14:50,278 'Cause I'm a blonde, don't you wish you were me? 873 01:14:50,362 --> 01:14:53,532 I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August 874 01:14:53,615 --> 01:14:56,284 is, like, a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can. 875 01:14:56,368 --> 01:14:58,912 Right now, I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA. 876 01:14:58,996 --> 01:15:01,623 But my goal is to become a veterinarian 'cause I love children. 877 01:15:01,707 --> 01:15:04,501 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah 878 01:15:04,584 --> 01:15:07,546 'Cause we're a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah 879 01:15:07,629 --> 01:15:10,298 Girls think I'm snotty and maybe it's true 880 01:15:10,382 --> 01:15:13,051 With my hair and body, you would be too 881 01:15:13,135 --> 01:15:15,971 'Cause I'm a blonde, B-L... I don't know 882 01:15:16,054 --> 01:15:18,724 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah 883 01:15:18,807 --> 01:15:21,643 Yes, I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah 884 01:15:21,727 --> 01:15:23,937 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. 885 01:15:32,779 --> 01:15:34,448 Hey, dudes. 886 01:15:34,531 --> 01:15:36,533 Dudes, come on. Snap out of it. 887 01:15:36,616 --> 01:15:38,577 - We're making a pit stop. - Pit stop? 888 01:15:50,213 --> 01:15:51,506 Hello, Opie. 889 01:15:54,468 --> 01:15:56,386 Bryan, come on over here! 890 01:15:56,470 --> 01:15:58,597 Will you get in this car right now? 891 01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:01,475 Mom, he's got my gun! 892 01:16:01,558 --> 01:16:04,269 How many times have I told you not to tell fibs like that! 893 01:16:04,352 --> 01:16:06,730 Hey, leave home, kid! 894 01:16:07,814 --> 01:16:11,276 Hey, dudes! Listen. Since I'm springing for the gas, 895 01:16:11,359 --> 01:16:14,362 why don't you go pick up some brews and some sandwich stuff? 896 01:16:14,446 --> 01:16:17,157 Some brews and some sandwich stuff. 897 01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:20,202 Yeah, you know, like, bread and junk. Okay, dudes? 898 01:16:20,285 --> 01:16:21,286 Okay, dude. 899 01:16:23,663 --> 01:16:25,082 Bread and junk. 900 01:16:30,087 --> 01:16:32,839 - Give us bread. - We need junk. 901 01:16:32,923 --> 01:16:36,426 Don't shoot. Don't shoot, I just work here. I'm an American. 902 01:16:38,345 --> 01:16:41,014 There. Take it. Take it all. 903 01:16:42,474 --> 01:16:45,519 - Where is Candy? - Candy? Oh! 904 01:16:46,686 --> 01:16:48,563 Right here. Take as much as you want. 905 01:16:52,776 --> 01:16:55,195 - Thank you. - Thank you too much. 906 01:17:07,165 --> 01:17:09,960 Hey, troops! Had to drain the lizard! 907 01:17:10,043 --> 01:17:11,169 Be right with you. 908 01:17:16,299 --> 01:17:17,759 Hey, what do I owe you, dude? 909 01:17:17,843 --> 01:17:19,177 - Get down! - What? 910 01:17:19,261 --> 01:17:20,595 Get down! 911 01:17:22,806 --> 01:17:25,934 I was just held up. They're still out there. They got guns! 912 01:17:26,017 --> 01:17:29,437 Guns? My buddies are out there. 913 01:17:45,662 --> 01:17:48,165 - Where are they, man? - In that green pile of junk. 914 01:17:53,128 --> 01:17:56,214 Excuse me. Could you back up? 915 01:17:56,298 --> 01:17:58,425 I need to get some unleaded. 916 01:18:02,012 --> 01:18:04,431 - Back up. Back up. - Back up. Back up. 917 01:18:17,736 --> 01:18:20,197 - That's my wagon! - Back up. 918 01:18:42,427 --> 01:18:45,222 We are party Martians! We are MTV scum! 919 01:19:10,538 --> 01:19:13,291 Hey! That looks great! 920 01:19:18,922 --> 01:19:22,133 Hey, guys! Brunch is ready. Come and get it. 921 01:19:24,761 --> 01:19:27,555 Hey, Valerie. It's Woody. What's shaking? 922 01:19:27,639 --> 01:19:30,100 - Hi, Woody. - Listen, you know your friends... 923 01:19:30,183 --> 01:19:31,601 those Finland guys? 924 01:19:31,685 --> 01:19:35,897 - I was taking them to the beach... - What? They're gone? They're with you? 925 01:19:35,981 --> 01:19:40,735 No. They were. I guess they kind of robbed the mini mart when I wasn't lookin', 926 01:19:40,819 --> 01:19:44,030 and then they totaled the gas station and then they ripped off my van! 927 01:19:44,114 --> 01:19:47,200 - It was a trip. - I don't believe this! Where are you? 928 01:19:47,284 --> 01:19:49,744 I'm at the mini mart down the street. 929 01:19:49,828 --> 01:19:51,871 - Toys 'R' Us. - That's it? 930 01:19:51,955 --> 01:19:52,914 Yeah. 931 01:19:52,998 --> 01:19:55,625 - Have you seen Zeebo and Wiploc? - I got water in this one, man. 932 01:19:55,709 --> 01:19:56,793 I can't hear ya. 933 01:19:56,876 --> 01:19:58,795 I think that might be one of them now. 934 01:19:58,878 --> 01:20:01,298 - Are you sure? - Not really. 935 01:20:01,381 --> 01:20:03,091 Good enough for me. 936 01:20:04,092 --> 01:20:05,176 So look... 937 01:20:07,137 --> 01:20:09,306 What's going on? Woody! 938 01:20:09,389 --> 01:20:11,099 What's happening? 939 01:20:11,182 --> 01:20:13,768 I gotta go now, Valerie. I'm gettin' my butt kicked. 940 01:20:13,852 --> 01:20:14,894 Woody! 941 01:20:35,623 --> 01:20:36,708 Hey! 942 01:21:00,482 --> 01:21:01,524 Wiploc! 943 01:21:53,743 --> 01:21:55,328 You have the right to remain silent. 944 01:21:55,412 --> 01:21:58,331 Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. 945 01:21:58,415 --> 01:21:59,499 Hey. 946 01:22:00,667 --> 01:22:04,379 Jail isn't so bad. It's where I learned how to surf. 947 01:22:05,839 --> 01:22:08,383 He's dead meat. You hang 10 now. 948 01:22:08,466 --> 01:22:10,385 Come on, you guys. You've gotta believe me. 949 01:22:10,468 --> 01:22:12,637 - This is all a misunderstanding. - Sorry, lady. 950 01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:15,432 - Well, arrest me, too, then. - Yeah, arrest her. 951 01:22:15,515 --> 01:22:17,434 - She's a nice lady. - Stay out of this, flipper. 952 01:22:17,517 --> 01:22:19,894 We can't. You didn't do anything. 953 01:22:23,481 --> 01:22:26,359 - Hey, lady! Don't do that! - Yeah, go for it! 954 01:22:28,653 --> 01:22:32,115 This Paramedic unit 104. We picked up two victims at Donut Land. 955 01:22:32,198 --> 01:22:34,993 They fit the description of the suspects in the mini mart robbery. 956 01:22:35,076 --> 01:22:37,203 We're taking them to Our Lady of the Valley Hospital. 957 01:22:37,287 --> 01:22:38,288 10-13. Copy. 958 01:22:39,330 --> 01:22:40,957 That's Ted's hospital. 959 01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:43,334 We have to get there before anybody finds out who they are. 960 01:22:45,086 --> 01:22:47,589 Joe, take us to hospital, please. 961 01:22:47,672 --> 01:22:50,133 Hey, clown, you're going to the slammer. 962 01:22:51,801 --> 01:22:53,344 We go to slammer first. 963 01:22:54,721 --> 01:22:58,475 Listen, give them that love touch and then they'll come on to me. 964 01:22:58,558 --> 01:23:00,018 They'll be putty in my hands. 965 01:23:01,478 --> 01:23:03,438 You want sex with Joe and Mike? 966 01:23:03,521 --> 01:23:08,485 No, no. Just so we can get away. Do it, do it. You'll see. 967 01:23:16,534 --> 01:23:18,119 Hey! 968 01:23:18,203 --> 01:23:19,871 How about those Lakers, huh? 969 01:23:22,790 --> 01:23:25,668 What about those incredible eyes of yours? 970 01:23:27,295 --> 01:23:29,130 What? 971 01:23:29,214 --> 01:23:32,717 They're just this far from Liz Taylor violet. 972 01:23:42,352 --> 01:23:44,354 Oh, Michael! 973 01:23:47,398 --> 01:23:48,900 Joseph. 974 01:23:50,151 --> 01:23:53,988 Two new patients in emergency... Dr. Love. 975 01:24:12,632 --> 01:24:15,718 Well, bye, you guys. Thanks for the lift. 976 01:24:15,802 --> 01:24:18,179 - I hope things work out. - Bye. 977 01:24:18,263 --> 01:24:20,348 - Happy house hunting. - Ciao. 978 01:24:20,431 --> 01:24:21,933 Thank you very much. 979 01:24:22,016 --> 01:24:24,394 - They're such a nice couple. - I know. 980 01:24:24,477 --> 01:24:26,229 - They really are. - Let's go shake somebody down. 981 01:24:26,312 --> 01:24:27,272 Bye. 982 01:24:28,523 --> 01:24:31,359 Totally cool tube. 983 01:24:31,442 --> 01:24:34,487 Ridin' cool rips all the way in. 984 01:24:36,197 --> 01:24:38,741 Great, you two. 985 01:24:38,825 --> 01:24:40,577 - Hi, Dr. Dude. - All right, boys. 986 01:24:40,660 --> 01:24:43,204 - The party's over. Settle down. - Take us to Valerie's house, please. 987 01:24:43,288 --> 01:24:44,998 We'd like to go to Valerie's house. 988 01:24:45,081 --> 01:24:47,917 You're not setting foot in my house again. Just lie down. 989 01:24:50,295 --> 01:24:53,381 Excuse me. We're looking for two patients who were just admitted. 990 01:24:54,382 --> 01:24:56,301 That's kind of a nasty bump. 991 01:24:56,384 --> 01:24:57,594 Does this hurt when I do this? 992 01:24:58,886 --> 01:25:00,638 Good. 993 01:25:00,722 --> 01:25:02,265 Let's just have a listen here, shall we? 994 01:25:03,266 --> 01:25:05,560 - Surf's up. Surf's up. - Leave it alone. 995 01:25:08,062 --> 01:25:09,480 Breathe. 996 01:25:11,107 --> 01:25:12,066 Again. 997 01:25:14,569 --> 01:25:16,571 Wait a second. Breathe. 998 01:25:17,697 --> 01:25:19,616 Breathe, breathe. 999 01:25:22,160 --> 01:25:23,161 It's incredible. 1000 01:25:24,454 --> 01:25:25,455 It's amazing. 1001 01:25:26,831 --> 01:25:29,709 You each have two heartbeats. 1002 01:25:29,792 --> 01:25:32,211 Wiploc and Zeebo? 1003 01:25:32,295 --> 01:25:34,005 What are their last names? 1004 01:25:34,088 --> 01:25:35,923 They don't have last names. 1005 01:25:36,007 --> 01:25:38,259 They're performers, you know, like Cher. 1006 01:25:41,012 --> 01:25:44,641 Yes. They're in the emergency room being examined by Dr. Gallagher. 1007 01:25:46,017 --> 01:25:47,310 He'll dissect them. 1008 01:25:49,520 --> 01:25:52,482 You can't go in there. Medical personnel only. 1009 01:25:53,566 --> 01:25:55,068 We've got to get in there. 1010 01:25:57,278 --> 01:25:58,613 I have an idea, 1011 01:25:58,696 --> 01:26:01,658 but it means doing something terrible to an innocent person. 1012 01:26:02,992 --> 01:26:04,327 Let's do it. 1013 01:26:08,790 --> 01:26:10,458 - Which floor? - Two, please. 1014 01:26:12,043 --> 01:26:14,128 I think I'm gonna enjoy this. 1015 01:26:18,675 --> 01:26:20,385 Feel this? It's a gun. 1016 01:26:20,468 --> 01:26:22,303 - What are you doing? What? - Shut up and start walking. 1017 01:26:22,387 --> 01:26:25,807 Come on. Come in here. 1018 01:26:27,850 --> 01:26:31,229 - Help. She's got a gun. - Take off your uniform. 1019 01:26:31,312 --> 01:26:33,106 - What? - Take it off! Quick! 1020 01:26:34,857 --> 01:26:38,152 - I know you. You're Ted's girlfriend. - Strip. 1021 01:26:38,236 --> 01:26:41,989 Look. I don't want any part of you or Ted or your kinky sex trips. 1022 01:26:42,073 --> 01:26:45,034 - I said strip! - She said strip. 1023 01:26:49,414 --> 01:26:51,791 The call button. Push the call button. 1024 01:26:53,334 --> 01:26:54,794 You'll go to prison for this. 1025 01:26:54,877 --> 01:26:58,798 - Excuse me. - For molesting me, for having a gun... 1026 01:26:58,881 --> 01:27:00,800 Well, I don't have a real gun. 1027 01:27:09,517 --> 01:27:12,395 - Your heart... - Excuse me, Doctor. 1028 01:27:12,478 --> 01:27:14,355 This doctor's here to pick up these patients. 1029 01:27:14,439 --> 01:27:16,357 Oh, no, no, no, no. These guys aren't going anywhere. 1030 01:27:16,441 --> 01:27:19,444 I'm admitting them both for observation under my care. 1031 01:27:19,527 --> 01:27:21,279 They seem okay to me, Doctor. 1032 01:27:21,362 --> 01:27:22,822 Nurse, why don't you listen to their hearts 1033 01:27:22,905 --> 01:27:24,741 and tell me what you hear? 1034 01:27:25,867 --> 01:27:28,536 Cover of Time Magazine 1035 01:27:28,619 --> 01:27:30,621 Man of the year 1036 01:27:30,705 --> 01:27:33,708 Yes, I'll be rich and famous, money, money, money, money. 1037 01:27:33,791 --> 01:27:35,001 I'll be on The Today Show. 1038 01:27:35,084 --> 01:27:36,836 - Shh, Zeebo, it's me. - Invitation to the White House. 1039 01:27:36,919 --> 01:27:39,005 He sounds perfectly normal to me, Doctor. 1040 01:27:39,088 --> 01:27:40,590 Oh, no, no. That's impossible. 1041 01:27:40,673 --> 01:27:43,760 They each have two distinct heartbeats. 1042 01:27:43,843 --> 01:27:45,303 Try me, Doctor. 1043 01:27:45,386 --> 01:27:46,888 Yes. Yes, I could try you. 1044 01:27:54,687 --> 01:27:57,064 Oh, my God! You, too. 1045 01:28:05,573 --> 01:28:07,033 It's my beeper! 1046 01:28:07,116 --> 01:28:09,452 No, no, no. My beeper's never done this before. 1047 01:28:10,787 --> 01:28:13,790 - Could you get the phone, Doctor? - What phone, doctor? 1048 01:28:16,083 --> 01:28:17,585 Hello? 1049 01:28:17,668 --> 01:28:19,962 Doctor, I'm afraid you must be hearing things. 1050 01:28:27,178 --> 01:28:29,096 Is there something wrong, Doctor? 1051 01:28:29,180 --> 01:28:31,641 Hello, Doctor. Should I call you a doctor, Doctor? 1052 01:28:31,724 --> 01:28:33,851 No! Please, just make it stop! 1053 01:28:35,102 --> 01:28:36,771 I can't stand it. 1054 01:28:48,699 --> 01:28:52,620 You guys, you came this close to being a science project. 1055 01:28:52,703 --> 01:28:53,704 Come on. 1056 01:28:54,831 --> 01:28:56,499 Ted's car! Follow me. 1057 01:29:00,461 --> 01:29:01,921 Quick! Get in quick! 1058 01:29:03,172 --> 01:29:04,423 Oh, God! Here comes Ted! 1059 01:29:04,507 --> 01:29:05,967 Hide! Get down and hide. 1060 01:29:10,388 --> 01:29:13,975 Valerie? Sweetheart, I'm so glad to see you. 1061 01:29:14,058 --> 01:29:17,186 Can we go home? These last two days have been hell. 1062 01:29:17,270 --> 01:29:18,729 It's affecting my work. 1063 01:29:18,813 --> 01:29:21,649 Sweetheart, I actually think I've been hearing things. 1064 01:29:21,732 --> 01:29:23,943 - No. - Val, could you drive? 1065 01:29:24,026 --> 01:29:27,113 - Please, Valerie. - Okay, Ted. Here. 1066 01:29:27,196 --> 01:29:29,866 - Get in, honey. - I'm so exhausted. 1067 01:29:31,659 --> 01:29:33,870 You know, I thought a lot about what you said 1068 01:29:33,953 --> 01:29:35,913 and I've decided to do something impulsive. 1069 01:29:35,997 --> 01:29:38,040 Let's go to Vegas tonight and get married. 1070 01:29:38,124 --> 01:29:40,001 Tonight? 1071 01:29:40,084 --> 01:29:42,962 Well, wait a minute. What about the church and my dress and everything? 1072 01:29:43,045 --> 01:29:46,257 We can do the big church wedding later. Just like you planned. 1073 01:29:47,300 --> 01:29:50,177 Well, what do you say? 1074 01:29:50,261 --> 01:29:53,097 Well, I don't know. I'm just so surprised. 1075 01:29:53,180 --> 01:29:55,641 Come on. You wanted surprises. 1076 01:29:56,809 --> 01:29:57,810 Ted. 1077 01:30:21,125 --> 01:30:24,003 You gotta bring that one-piece night thing, 1078 01:30:24,086 --> 01:30:26,839 that corset that looks like underwear. 1079 01:30:36,599 --> 01:30:38,684 What is it now? Something old... 1080 01:30:41,020 --> 01:30:42,980 These pantyhose are old. 1081 01:30:43,064 --> 01:30:45,107 Something new. 1082 01:30:45,191 --> 01:30:46,525 This veil is new. 1083 01:30:48,778 --> 01:30:50,196 Dr. Tushman, please. 1084 01:30:52,365 --> 01:30:54,116 Barbara, Ted here. 1085 01:30:54,200 --> 01:30:56,911 Listen, I need a really big favor. 1086 01:30:56,994 --> 01:31:00,414 I want you to cover my shift at the hospital tomorrow. 1087 01:31:00,498 --> 01:31:01,791 I'm going to Vegas. 1088 01:31:04,126 --> 01:31:09,131 Well, I'm gonna lose a little money, take in a show, and get married. 1089 01:31:10,675 --> 01:31:12,718 Barbara. Barbara. 1090 01:31:14,303 --> 01:31:18,808 Look, just because I'm getting married doesn't mean we can't date, all right? 1091 01:31:18,891 --> 01:31:19,892 What? 1092 01:31:32,738 --> 01:31:33,781 Valerie. 1093 01:31:35,491 --> 01:31:37,284 - Good-bye. - Bye. 1094 01:31:37,368 --> 01:31:40,579 Nice planet you have here. Give Tonya my number. 1095 01:31:42,415 --> 01:31:43,833 Take care, Zeebo. 1096 01:31:45,710 --> 01:31:48,879 Wiploc. I think I'll miss you least of all. 1097 01:31:48,963 --> 01:31:50,673 You got lip lock for Wiploc? 1098 01:31:53,592 --> 01:31:54,719 Valerie... 1099 01:31:56,637 --> 01:31:58,681 I don't know the words. 1100 01:31:58,764 --> 01:32:00,599 Mac. 1101 01:32:00,683 --> 01:32:02,309 I'm gonna miss you so much. 1102 01:32:03,310 --> 01:32:04,645 I'll miss you, too. 1103 01:32:04,729 --> 01:32:07,857 Sweetheart, I booked the Caveman Suite at Cupid's Lodge. 1104 01:32:13,195 --> 01:32:15,156 What the hell is this?! 1105 01:32:16,449 --> 01:32:18,617 Okay, Ted, they're not a band. 1106 01:32:18,701 --> 01:32:21,287 - They're from another planet. - What? 1107 01:32:21,370 --> 01:32:23,664 Go back in the house. I'll be in in a second. 1108 01:32:23,748 --> 01:32:26,292 Oh, my God! They're aliens. 1109 01:32:26,375 --> 01:32:28,377 Aliens! All right, Val. I got you covered. 1110 01:32:28,461 --> 01:32:31,255 - It's okay. Ted. Ted. - Back! 1111 01:32:31,338 --> 01:32:32,339 It's okay. 1112 01:32:33,716 --> 01:32:34,759 You're contaminated. 1113 01:32:36,844 --> 01:32:38,929 - I... I have to go now. - Ted! 1114 01:32:39,013 --> 01:32:40,723 - I'll call the police. - Ted, come on. 1115 01:32:40,806 --> 01:32:42,475 - I gotta go. - Stop it. 1116 01:32:51,233 --> 01:32:52,443 Good-bye, Valerie. 1117 01:33:11,045 --> 01:33:14,715 Mac! It didn't work! 1118 01:33:15,758 --> 01:33:19,303 Mac! I have to tell you something. 1119 01:33:19,386 --> 01:33:22,223 I love you! Take me with you! 1120 01:33:22,306 --> 01:33:25,226 - To Jhazalla? - Anyplace! 1121 01:33:26,310 --> 01:33:27,645 I am Mr. Right? 1122 01:33:27,728 --> 01:33:30,022 Yes! Yes! 1123 01:33:36,070 --> 01:33:38,239 Well... good-bye, Ted. 1124 01:33:39,406 --> 01:33:44,036 I guess it wasn't meant to be, but I really want to thank you for... 1125 01:33:45,621 --> 01:33:46,872 thanks for the... 1126 01:33:48,666 --> 01:33:50,126 Good-bye, Ted. 1127 01:33:56,382 --> 01:33:57,383 Mac! 1128 01:34:12,189 --> 01:34:13,023 Mac! 1129 01:34:15,484 --> 01:34:18,821 Wait, you guys! You can't leave without margaritas! 1130 01:34:26,996 --> 01:34:28,998 Valerie, what are you doing? 1131 01:34:31,292 --> 01:34:32,835 Good-bye, Candy. I'll miss you. 1132 01:34:33,836 --> 01:34:37,089 Well, good luck, Val. Call me. 1133 01:34:43,429 --> 01:34:44,889 Happy trails. 1134 01:34:48,017 --> 01:34:50,352 Bambi, I never knew. 1135 01:34:50,436 --> 01:34:51,937 Wait! 1136 01:34:58,402 --> 01:34:59,403 Hey! 1137 01:35:01,363 --> 01:35:03,365 Give my love to Finland!