1 00:00:02,519 --> 00:00:03,919 What is going on? 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,559 What are you up to this early? 3 00:00:05,879 --> 00:00:06,958 Aren't you meant to be in college? 4 00:00:06,959 --> 00:00:08,000 No college today. 5 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:09,800 Lie in. 6 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,040 I actually haven't properly cried yet. 7 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,559 I didn't cry for months when he died. 8 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,558 You know, I don't see any fathers out there. 9 00:00:18,559 --> 00:00:20,359 No one is asking them what their child's shoe size is 10 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,800 or what they may or may not have noticed. It's okay. 11 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,959 And you're right, we almost never see any dads in here. 12 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:27,679 It's just my family letter. 13 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,879 It's to my sister Anna to say sorry about her fiancé. 14 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,120 Oh my God, that's Dr. Sheehan. What are you doing? 15 00:00:33,599 --> 00:00:35,198 You didn't... We matched! 16 00:00:35,199 --> 00:00:37,319 You're not like anyone else I've ever met, Rach. 17 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,639 Just say you love me, please. 18 00:00:41,879 --> 00:00:43,879 I can't lie to you, Rach. I don't mind. 19 00:00:44,559 --> 00:00:46,079 Lie to me. Please, I don't mind. 20 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,120 Please. 21 00:00:47,279 --> 00:00:49,879 Guys, I still can't bring myself to cancel the wedding venue. 22 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,080 Why don't you have a memorial? 23 00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,238 You could make it a celebration of Aidan. 24 00:00:54,239 --> 00:00:55,959 You're Aidan, how you knew him. 25 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:04,637 Okay, we're going in here to get memories of Aidan. 26 00:01:04,638 --> 00:01:06,918 That is it. Do not mention the memorial. 27 00:01:06,919 --> 00:01:07,958 She's going to find out at some point. 28 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:09,198 Yeah, well, that point is not today. 29 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,278 Alright? We don't want to upset her. 30 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,518 Are you sure Anna doesn't just want her there? 31 00:01:11,519 --> 00:01:13,799 Well, she hasn't said anything to me, so I'm staying out of it. 32 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,479 Jesus, you make it sound like we're about to walk across landmines. 33 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:17,679 Well, we potentially are. 34 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:18,959 This will be fine. 35 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,720 ♪ Theme Music: Cathy Davey - "Little Red" ♪ 36 00:01:23,879 --> 00:01:27,839 ♪ Hey, I, I wouldn't let him in 37 00:01:31,879 --> 00:01:36,400 ♪ No, I, I wouldn't, I wouldn't let him in. 38 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,638 ♪ His eyes are close together, and he wears a toothy grin 39 00:01:42,639 --> 00:01:44,440 ♪ Don't let him in 40 00:01:46,599 --> 00:01:52,639 {\an8}♪ No, I wouldn't if I were you let him in... ♪ 41 00:02:27,239 --> 00:02:28,519 Are we allowed to hug you? 42 00:02:29,519 --> 00:02:30,519 Yeah. 43 00:02:30,879 --> 00:02:32,000 Why wouldn't you be? 44 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,959 In case we pass you a heroin? 45 00:02:34,559 --> 00:02:35,559 God. 46 00:02:35,959 --> 00:02:37,839 Rach, you look great. 47 00:02:45,959 --> 00:02:47,279 I brought you some chocolate. 48 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,120 I know you love these. Thanks. 49 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,040 Em... yeah, no, I'm good. 50 00:02:58,559 --> 00:02:59,879 Em... 51 00:03:00,559 --> 00:03:02,080 I thought... 52 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,359 I was kind of expecting Anna as well. 53 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,519 I wouldn't hold your breath. 54 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:08,079 What's that supposed to mean? 55 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:12,800 Listen, Rachel, do you have any nice memories of Aidan? 56 00:03:14,199 --> 00:03:15,839 Why are you asking me that? 57 00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:19,599 We just thought it'd be nice, you know, for Anna to have them. 58 00:03:20,279 --> 00:03:21,959 I'd like to help her remember. 59 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:24,759 Do you have your phone? 60 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,198 I'm going to make a slide show for her. 61 00:03:26,199 --> 00:03:28,480 Oh, no, I don't have my phone. They took it. 62 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:29,959 Seriously? I would die. 63 00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:31,959 Why? In case it takes a drug dealer. 64 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,959 Some people are sex addicts. Porn. 65 00:03:35,319 --> 00:03:36,360 Okay, okay. 66 00:03:36,839 --> 00:03:38,720 Can we please just focus? 67 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,400 Rachel, like anything about Aidan? 68 00:03:42,319 --> 00:03:43,319 Em... 69 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,760 Literally anything, Rachel? 70 00:03:50,559 --> 00:03:52,598 I don't know what you want from me. Em... 71 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,159 Just whatever comes to your mind. 72 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,759 You lived with him for several months. 73 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,040 Oh, he crossed his legs when he sat. 74 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,919 Em... he didn't like WhatsApp. 75 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,760 He was really into American politics. 76 00:04:04,959 --> 00:04:05,959 Really? Yeah. 77 00:04:06,239 --> 00:04:07,360 Em... 78 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,879 Red side? Blue side? 79 00:04:10,279 --> 00:04:11,879 I don't know. Whichever side isn't awful. 80 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,079 Blue. 81 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:14,159 Was he funny? 82 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,160 Anna laughed a lot when he was around. 83 00:04:16,639 --> 00:04:18,198 Great. Hilariously funny. 84 00:04:18,199 --> 00:04:19,917 That is too much, Claire. Funny will do. 85 00:04:19,918 --> 00:04:22,359 But also, did he have any interests? 86 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,719 Like any hobbies? Anything? 87 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:27,878 Oh, he sold his bike online when he moved in with us. 88 00:04:27,879 --> 00:04:29,159 Great. What kinda bike? 89 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,639 I dunno. Why does that matter? 90 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,079 Well, a mountain bike, he's outdoorsy. 91 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,638 E-bike, he's an environmentalist. Was it a unicycle? 92 00:04:35,639 --> 00:04:37,439 Yeah, you're a clown. Okay. 93 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,400 Not helpful. You know he didn't like us. 94 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,040 Us? 95 00:04:43,559 --> 00:04:44,559 Yeah. 96 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,000 He thought she was... 97 00:04:46,239 --> 00:04:47,838 He thought she was codependent 98 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:50,039 and that we were too family-orientated. 99 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,079 Hang on. 100 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,919 Now, he didn't like us or he didn't like you? 101 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,559 You and Anna can be very clingy. Clingy? 102 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,080 It's hard to be clingy with someone who doesn't even visit you in rehab. 103 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,079 Jesus, Rachel, her fiancé just died. 104 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:09,999 Okay, so we know that Aidan was funny and athletic and... 105 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,559 Did Anna tell you that I wrote to her to apologise? 106 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:13,680 No? 107 00:05:15,599 --> 00:05:16,599 No. 108 00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:20,000 Well, it's just easier to blame Rachel for everything. 109 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,360 Look, I think we should just go. 110 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,760 Go on. Aidan made Anna laugh. 111 00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:27,399 He crossed his legs and he sold a bike. It's good enough for me. 112 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:31,039 Or maybe you could just give us a ring or something. 113 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,198 She hasn't had a phone, Claire. 114 00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,558 Or something! If you remember anything else. 115 00:05:34,559 --> 00:05:36,720 I mean, we have a few days until the memorial. 116 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,440 Sorry. 117 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:43,839 Sorry, what? 118 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,480 Em... 119 00:05:46,919 --> 00:05:47,959 A memorial? 120 00:05:51,599 --> 00:05:54,119 Anna is having a memorial 121 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,598 for Aidan because his parents took him back to America. 122 00:05:56,599 --> 00:05:58,838 And Anna can't fly, punctured lung. 123 00:05:58,839 --> 00:05:59,878 So. 124 00:05:59,879 --> 00:06:02,000 And she's planning this while I'm still in here. 125 00:06:07,239 --> 00:06:08,239 Why? 126 00:06:08,639 --> 00:06:10,159 There's a lot going on, Rachel- 127 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,160 The memorial is not for you. It's for Anna. 128 00:06:12,599 --> 00:06:13,879 She needs it. Yeah. 129 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:16,838 She hasn't said anything to us 130 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,040 about whether she wants you there or not. 131 00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:29,519 Go on, just leave. 132 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,679 Ah, I don't be like that. We've got... 133 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,480 We've got 45 minutes left. 134 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,400 Do you want to show us around? 135 00:06:38,639 --> 00:06:39,639 No, seriously, leave. 136 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,760 Come on. 137 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,399 Rachel. 138 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,120 I'll give you some space. I'll see you soon. 139 00:06:50,519 --> 00:06:52,160 It's okay, Rach. 140 00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:29,160 Bags at the door. 141 00:07:31,279 --> 00:07:32,599 Taxi booked for the morning. 142 00:07:34,639 --> 00:07:35,759 They better not let me down. 143 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,360 Those apps are going to the dogs. 144 00:07:38,519 --> 00:07:41,638 Paul, before you go to London, will you please hang up those shelves? 145 00:07:41,639 --> 00:07:42,958 Ah, Mags, not now. 146 00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:44,120 Where's my passport? 147 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,239 I've been asking you for months. 148 00:07:48,839 --> 00:07:49,839 Paul! 149 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,160 Hi, Dad. 150 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,680 How are you? 151 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:00,360 Good, yeah. 152 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,199 Dad, would you mind putting up some shelves for me? 153 00:08:04,519 --> 00:08:07,238 No, I have the drill and the shelves are there. 154 00:08:07,239 --> 00:08:08,639 They're just... Hang up. 155 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,838 It's two in the sitting room and one in the... 156 00:08:10,839 --> 00:08:11,999 Sorry. Sorry, dad. 157 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,480 Just one second. What? 158 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:14,878 Hang up the phone. Hang up the phone. 159 00:08:14,879 --> 00:08:16,439 Hang up the phone. 160 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,039 I don't need him to put up some simple shelves. 161 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,079 I know how to put up a shelf. 162 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,279 I asked you ages ago and you've been- I've been busy, you know? 163 00:08:23,279 --> 00:08:24,319 Sorry, Dad. 164 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,519 Paul is now saying that he can do it, and he will. 165 00:08:27,959 --> 00:08:31,159 So why don't you come tomorrow? Absolutely. 166 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,360 We'll see if it's done. 167 00:08:32,519 --> 00:08:33,958 I will do it right now. 168 00:08:38,839 --> 00:08:39,839 Thanks, Dad. 169 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:42,480 You're the best. 170 00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:50,919 You didn't join us for breakfast. I'm not hungry. 171 00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:54,599 Right. Well, listen, I overheard something. 172 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,838 Now, I know you're about to do laundry with Chris, right? 173 00:08:56,839 --> 00:08:59,479 Yes, Jackie, what law or commandment am I breaking now? 174 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,878 No, none, none. It's just that... 175 00:09:00,879 --> 00:09:03,079 Well, I heard Chris tell Neil 176 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,558 that he's going to give it to you in the laundry room. 177 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:06,598 What? 178 00:09:06,599 --> 00:09:07,759 Really? Yes. 179 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,799 Did he say that? Did he actually use those words? 180 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,360 Yes. He said, I'm going to give it to her. 181 00:09:13,199 --> 00:09:14,720 I bet he's huge. 182 00:09:15,879 --> 00:09:16,879 Do you want a thong? 183 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,479 No, no. 184 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,759 I'm not actually going to have sex with Chris in the laundry room. 185 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,198 Are you mental? Why not? 186 00:09:22,199 --> 00:09:23,239 I mean, I would. 187 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,760 I mean, a woman has her needs. No, no. 188 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,680 I've got a boyfriend. You absolutely do not. 189 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,000 Not any more. I was there, Rachel. 190 00:09:32,319 --> 00:09:35,519 That ship was both sailed and sunk. Titanic. 191 00:09:35,839 --> 00:09:37,440 Good night. Really? 192 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,958 Yeah. Don't think I can fix it? 193 00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,198 Maybe in a few years. 194 00:09:41,199 --> 00:09:42,599 You know, you stay sober. 195 00:09:42,839 --> 00:09:45,919 Get your act together. Get some Botox. Dye that hair. 196 00:09:46,279 --> 00:09:47,400 Then maybe. 197 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,480 Okay. 198 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:51,760 Give me the thong. 199 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,160 Alright, go on. Safe flight. 200 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,360 I have no control over the safety of the flight. 201 00:09:57,599 --> 00:09:58,599 Alright. 202 00:09:58,879 --> 00:09:59,919 Hey, come here. 203 00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:02,839 You know the next time I see you, I might be pregnant. 204 00:10:03,319 --> 00:10:04,319 Oh, yeah. 205 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,040 Promise you won't do another test until I get back, okay? 206 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,160 Okay. 207 00:10:09,319 --> 00:10:10,319 I promise. 208 00:10:11,919 --> 00:10:14,598 Now, will you hang up that suit as soon as you get into the- Yeah. 209 00:10:14,599 --> 00:10:15,719 Did you put a crease in the trousers? 210 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,679 Obviously. You know what mum says, 211 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,079 if you don't have a crease in your trousers, 212 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,838 you're one step away from the dole office. 213 00:10:20,839 --> 00:10:21,878 Fine stance from a woman 214 00:10:21,879 --> 00:10:24,519 who's benefited so heavily from the children's allowance. 215 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:26,999 Okay, be safe. 216 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,999 Why do you keep saying that? I don't know. 217 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,198 Maybe the memorial is getting in on me. 218 00:10:31,199 --> 00:10:32,239 No shit. 219 00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:36,000 I'm sorry you won't be there. Yeah. 220 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:37,558 So am I. 221 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:40,239 You know how much I love hanging out with the Walsh sisters? 222 00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:43,679 Getting called cheap and dry all day. 223 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,039 Would you be a shame to miss that. 224 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,120 Yeah, fair enough. 225 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,800 Okay, go on. Safe flight. 226 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:06,959 Hey. Hey. 227 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,599 Do you know if Maggie's calling over this morning? 228 00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:11,400 No, she's working. 229 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,199 Why? Is there anything I can help with? 230 00:11:14,879 --> 00:11:17,879 No, was just going to see if she wanted to bring me to work. 231 00:11:19,239 --> 00:11:21,639 I can drive you to work, but... 232 00:11:23,279 --> 00:11:26,120 Are you ready to go back? 233 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,479 I actually don't know. 234 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,838 I just think I need like a... You're not worried about money? 235 00:11:31,839 --> 00:11:33,360 No, no, no. I think I... 236 00:11:35,199 --> 00:11:36,439 No, I'm on full pay. 237 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,360 I just think I need a distraction. 238 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:40,479 Hmm. 239 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,680 There's post inside on the table. 240 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,319 You could read that, respond. 241 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:46,719 Might pass some time. 242 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,239 Stop pushing that letter on me, Dad. 243 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:50,999 You know I've already fought with mum about it. 244 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,199 Okay, I don't want any more fights. 245 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,319 I'm just saying... Well, don't. 246 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,518 You're all obsessed with me reading that letter from Rachel. 247 00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:02,719 And none of you actually care that any new information 248 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,800 that I process is making me lose parts of Aidan. 249 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:06,439 Lose parts? 250 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,879 Yeah, I think I'm forgetting him. 251 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,279 I can't remember his smell. 252 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,079 You will. 253 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,399 You will remember. 254 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,959 You're grieving. 255 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,599 Yeah, but what if I don't? 256 00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:22,238 What if my brain can only hold so much information, 257 00:12:22,239 --> 00:12:23,279 that anything new... 258 00:12:24,879 --> 00:12:25,958 erases something old. 259 00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:28,919 That's not how memory works. I have a book. 260 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,439 Yeah, but Dad, I don't need a book. 261 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:31,680 I like to just need... 262 00:12:33,199 --> 00:12:34,278 I don't know. 263 00:12:34,279 --> 00:12:36,239 I think I just need my brain... 264 00:12:37,839 --> 00:12:39,319 Cant, like, figure it out. 265 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,120 In my mind, he's just gone back for Thanksgiving. 266 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,198 Aw, I know, love. It's awful. 267 00:12:48,199 --> 00:12:49,239 It's awful. 268 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,440 Do you know what I think? 269 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,159 Mm. 270 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,599 I think you need to talk to one of your sisters. 271 00:12:58,919 --> 00:13:02,720 And personally, I think you need to talk to Rachel. 272 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,080 The last person I need to speak to is Rachel. 273 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,878 Look, I know you're angry. Angry? 274 00:13:08,879 --> 00:13:11,119 Dad, angry Angry is how you think I feel. 275 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,959 Dad, I was angry when she puked my new handbag. 276 00:13:16,199 --> 00:13:18,238 And I was angry when we missed the first 40 minutes 277 00:13:18,239 --> 00:13:19,958 of Taylor Swift because she couldn't find the tickets. 278 00:13:19,959 --> 00:13:22,439 But like, Dad, anger is not how I'm feeling right now. 279 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,040 Right now- Okay, okay, okay. 280 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,040 Don't get worked up. 281 00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,440 Don't get worked up. It's alright. 282 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,879 It's not good for you. You just don't get it. 283 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,839 Huh? You don't get it. 284 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,120 What...? 285 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,480 So are you excited for your freedom? 286 00:13:55,239 --> 00:13:56,239 Yeah. 287 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,360 I know. 288 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:01,879 I've been here before. 289 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,918 I'm thinking I had it licked leaving treatment 290 00:14:04,919 --> 00:14:08,000 and trying to stay sober on the outside and then... 291 00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:10,800 Well, second time's the charm. 292 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:15,519 And when I get out, we can hang out and go to meetings and stuff. 293 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,879 Help each other, you know? 294 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,199 Yeah, I'll definitely be whacking the meetings in anyway. 295 00:14:21,839 --> 00:14:23,559 90 in 90, all the way. 296 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,160 What? 297 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,120 90 meetings in 90 days. 298 00:14:29,199 --> 00:14:30,239 Oh. Yeah. 299 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,239 That sounds addict-y. 300 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,439 Yeah, but I've had to be addicted to something. 301 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,400 Meetings aren't the worst, right? Mmm. 302 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,040 Well. 303 00:14:43,919 --> 00:14:45,440 I'm really going to miss you. 304 00:14:48,839 --> 00:14:49,838 Yeah, well, sure... 305 00:14:49,839 --> 00:14:52,199 you'll be out yourself in a few weeks, right? 306 00:14:53,279 --> 00:14:56,119 I mean, you'll have to fill me in 307 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,160 all the drama I'm going to miss in here. 308 00:14:58,800 --> 00:14:59,800 Mmm. 309 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,239 And you'll have to mind me and take me to all those meetings. 310 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,279 Just leave it. 311 00:15:24,639 --> 00:15:26,719 You're a menace to surprise me. 312 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,120 I know. 313 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,360 No, no, no, no. 314 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,919 No Rach, no Rach. 315 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,279 You don't want this. 316 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,080 This could destroy us. 317 00:15:38,559 --> 00:15:40,399 No, this could destroy us. 318 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,440 You could destroy me. Oh fuck. 319 00:15:47,559 --> 00:15:51,159 No, no, no, no, no. Rach, Rach, Rach, Rach. 320 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,119 I can't, I can't do this. I can't, okay. 321 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,839 This is like... I've made this mistake before. Okay? 322 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,040 Mistake? No, I... 323 00:16:00,199 --> 00:16:02,759 I'm a mistake. Thanks very much. No, I didn't mean that. 324 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,839 I just meant like, I can't relapse again. 325 00:16:05,519 --> 00:16:06,680 I'm not even out of here yet. 326 00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:09,119 Jackie told me that you told her 327 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,440 that you were going to give it to me in the laundry room. 328 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,759 Oh my God, I meant this. I was going to give you this. 329 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,839 You missed breakfast. 330 00:16:21,919 --> 00:16:23,279 Oh, my God. 331 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,040 Jackie. 332 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,238 Oh, Rach, I really like you. 333 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,359 I really like you. I just, I can't. 334 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,120 I don't want this trouble again. You know? 335 00:16:34,839 --> 00:16:35,919 Am I trouble? 336 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,120 I'm sorry. It's just... 337 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,879 I'm sorry, it's not right. 338 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,760 Is that okay? Yeah, okay. 339 00:16:53,599 --> 00:16:54,599 Grand. 340 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,360 When you're done, come into my office. 341 00:17:05,559 --> 00:17:07,918 You're not taking this seriously. 342 00:17:07,919 --> 00:17:09,800 He asked to do laundry with me. 343 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,239 He was flirting with me. Was he? 344 00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:16,078 You're so vulnerable to other people's attention, 345 00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,278 you'd do anything to feel their warmth. 346 00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,878 I don't care about getting other people's attention. 347 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,079 It'd actually be nice to be forgotten for a while. 348 00:17:25,598 --> 00:17:26,597 Would it? 349 00:17:26,598 --> 00:17:29,040 I think you constantly feel forgotten. 350 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,479 Well, you're twisted. 351 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,238 You just put thoughts in people's heads. 352 00:17:32,239 --> 00:17:36,278 You're mistaking Chris's honesty with you for intimacy. 353 00:17:36,279 --> 00:17:38,839 I'm not. Nothing happened. 354 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,439 Because Chris is further along than you are 355 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,959 and had the strength not to use you. 356 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,400 Use me? 357 00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:49,319 He would never do that. 358 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,479 I'm going to tell him you said that. 359 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,959 Yeah, do. I will. 360 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,719 It's hard to feel used sexually, 361 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,040 but it's worse if no one wants to use you. 362 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,598 What the fuck does that mean? 363 00:18:06,599 --> 00:18:10,878 Your reaction to Chris saying no shows how desperate you are 364 00:18:10,879 --> 00:18:12,359 for other people's approval. 365 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,839 Oh my God. 366 00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:15,559 Oh my God. 367 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,440 You're painful. 368 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,800 The shit that you come out with and you think you're being inspiring. 369 00:18:22,959 --> 00:18:26,039 Your rudeness is a weapon and an armour, 370 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,359 and both are useless. 371 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:30,199 See, just more of your bullshit. 372 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,360 Keep trying, you know it's true. 373 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,839 Nothing you've ever said to me is true. 374 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,558 You're fucking charlatan. 375 00:18:37,559 --> 00:18:40,639 You give people insecurities so you can swoop in and solve them. 376 00:18:41,319 --> 00:18:43,160 I'm not an idiot, Rachel. 377 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,558 You get validation from having sex with men 378 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,679 because it makes you feel chosen, 379 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,080 and you never felt chosen at home. 380 00:18:51,519 --> 00:18:54,279 Shut up, you fucking barren bitch. 381 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:56,760 I know you. 382 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,159 You're just one of those childless old women 383 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,599 who gets jobs where you can treat people like kids. 384 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,760 Anna? Uh-huh? 385 00:19:45,959 --> 00:19:47,639 Will you come here, please? What? 386 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,080 Will you come here? 387 00:19:52,519 --> 00:19:54,359 Here, I have this really gross spot on my back. 388 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,800 Can you pop it for me? Sit down. 389 00:19:56,199 --> 00:19:58,598 But you're not allowed to screech or hit me. 390 00:19:58,599 --> 00:20:00,119 Well, then don't hurt me this time. 391 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,800 Fine, I'll go. Please, Anna. 392 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,680 Thank you. 393 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:06,679 Bleugh. 394 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:07,720 I know. 395 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,959 Dad keeps shiteing on about some letter from Rachel. 396 00:20:14,319 --> 00:20:15,518 Yeah, I know. He does to me, too. 397 00:20:15,519 --> 00:20:16,919 Will he ever stop? I know. 398 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:18,480 I opened it. 399 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,039 What? 400 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,159 Oh, come on, Anna. 401 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,238 It's not a Ouija board. 402 00:20:23,239 --> 00:20:25,760 A demon's not going to pop out if I open an envelope. 403 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:27,958 Helen, that was my post to open. 404 00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:29,680 Yeah, but you were never going to open it. 405 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,480 Come on, do my back. 406 00:20:33,879 --> 00:20:35,439 Ow, you bitch. 407 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:36,879 It was deep, it was deep, it was deep. 408 00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:45,319 It was a waste of a stamp, anyway. 409 00:20:46,199 --> 00:20:47,838 Sorry, what do you mean? It was blank? 410 00:20:47,839 --> 00:20:48,919 It may as well have been. 411 00:20:49,319 --> 00:20:52,079 She said that she was sorry that she's stuck inside 412 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,839 when you need her, wishes that you would talk to her, you'd visit her. 413 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:58,918 And did she apologise? 414 00:20:58,919 --> 00:20:59,999 Not really, no. 415 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,558 Does she have any sense of... 416 00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:03,279 Look, Anna, it's downstairs if you want to read it. 417 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,480 Thank you. 418 00:21:23,959 --> 00:21:25,519 Are you alright, Margaret? 419 00:21:25,959 --> 00:21:27,360 Yeah, all good. 420 00:21:29,199 --> 00:21:30,199 Alright, I'm off. 421 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,000 Anywhere interesting? God, you smell fab. 422 00:21:33,239 --> 00:21:34,879 College, Maggie? Oh, yeah. 423 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,400 How's that going? 424 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,040 Bye Kate. 425 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,680 Helen Walsh, what have you done? 426 00:21:41,239 --> 00:21:42,558 What did you do to the back of your head? 427 00:21:42,559 --> 00:21:44,000 Don't Mum, I have to go. 428 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,120 The bottom half of her hair is gone. 429 00:21:49,879 --> 00:21:52,400 Mum, it's just hair. It'll grow back. 430 00:21:52,639 --> 00:21:54,959 I wonder about her sometimes. 431 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:56,959 Yeah, she's a bit cryptic. 432 00:21:57,959 --> 00:22:00,839 Well, thank God I have one uncomplicated daughter. 433 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:03,719 Here, what's the story? 434 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,079 What are you going to wear now for this memorial? 435 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,559 My funeral coat is too heavy for going to be indoors all day. 436 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,800 I was going to wear my navy work suit. 437 00:22:11,319 --> 00:22:13,878 Navy? Oh, God, No, Margaret, come on. 438 00:22:13,879 --> 00:22:15,160 It has to be black. 439 00:22:15,279 --> 00:22:16,999 You should wear your black dress with the gold. 440 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,040 It's very slimming. 441 00:22:19,879 --> 00:22:21,760 Yeah, that was an option, too. 442 00:22:22,839 --> 00:22:24,198 Good. Good girl. 443 00:22:24,199 --> 00:22:27,039 Now, I have to get up to the centre before they close, get something new, 444 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,400 and I want to book a blow dry for Anna for the morning. 445 00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:32,918 Mum, I really don't think Anna is going to want to get her 446 00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:34,039 hair blow dry in the morning. 447 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,879 We all have to be presentable, every one of us. 448 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,278 Maureen Kilfeather had two fascinators 449 00:22:39,279 --> 00:22:41,999 on standby when Deirdre got married. It's not a wedding. 450 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,440 We need to let people see what the wedding could have been. 451 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:47,879 Why are you fighting with me in this? 452 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,480 I'm not. I'm not fighting you at all, Mum. 453 00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:54,120 I agree with you completely. 454 00:22:54,639 --> 00:22:55,639 Good girl. 455 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,479 Do you need anything from the centre? 456 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:58,519 No. 457 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,080 Actually, yeah, mum, would you pick up some cornflakes? 458 00:23:02,279 --> 00:23:03,918 No, no, they're full of sugar. 459 00:23:03,919 --> 00:23:05,559 There's porridge up there in the press. 460 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,319 Porridge and cornflakes are not the same thing. Are they? 461 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,440 We're going to have to get some cornflakes. 462 00:24:53,519 --> 00:24:54,519 Hey. 463 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,760 Dan, hi. It's good to see you. 464 00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,760 Can I give you a hug? Yeah. 465 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,039 Only heard the news on Monday. 466 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:07,559 I'm so sorry, love. 467 00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,120 Thanks. 468 00:25:09,639 --> 00:25:11,359 Sorry, I probably should have told you. 469 00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:13,319 Just had this being all over the shop. 470 00:25:13,559 --> 00:25:14,959 Stop, don't be silly. 471 00:25:16,879 --> 00:25:17,879 How's Rachel? 472 00:25:18,319 --> 00:25:19,319 Fine. 473 00:25:19,599 --> 00:25:20,639 Is she? Mm-hmm. 474 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,080 Haven't heard from her for a long while, though. 475 00:25:24,319 --> 00:25:25,559 How's she managing? 476 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:27,480 She's on a holiday. 477 00:25:28,279 --> 00:25:29,279 On holidays? 478 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,879 After Aidan died, wow. 479 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,919 Even for Rachel, that's a tad... 480 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,319 Dan, I'd love to chat, but I... 481 00:25:37,559 --> 00:25:41,000 Someone called Janie dropped in this for you. 482 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,558 She called in to ours, 483 00:25:42,559 --> 00:25:45,198 but I told her you were probably at your folks. 484 00:25:45,199 --> 00:25:47,639 What did she say? What did she look? What did she... 485 00:25:49,879 --> 00:25:51,279 What did she look like? 486 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,440 Hm... 487 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:53,720 7. 488 00:25:54,319 --> 00:25:55,879 Brunette. Petite. 489 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,080 Great teeth. 490 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:58,440 American, I think. 491 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:03,199 She said she just wanted to talk, and would you give her a call? 492 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:06,440 Thanks. 493 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,360 I know Rachel found these great. 494 00:26:11,199 --> 00:26:12,199 It's a tough time. 495 00:26:12,919 --> 00:26:13,919 Go easy on yourself. 496 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,199 No charge, obviously. 497 00:26:26,879 --> 00:26:27,879 Fuck. 498 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,680 ♪ Samantha Mumba - "Gotta Tell You" plays ♪ 499 00:26:36,839 --> 00:26:41,440 ♪ Don't wanna need you when you won't need me too ♪ 500 00:26:41,559 --> 00:26:45,759 ♪ I wanna tell you this now but it wouldn't be right 501 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:51,879 ♪ If I didn't tell you this tonight ♪ 502 00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,839 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 503 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,480 ♪ Now you're back inside my house again ♪ 504 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:07,599 ♪ I'm trying deeper to explain ♪ 505 00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:12,518 ♪ Because, baby, I want to get it on ♪ 506 00:27:12,519 --> 00:27:16,480 ♪ And, baby, you're the one for me ♪ 507 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:21,239 ♪ And now that I have got you all alone ♪ 508 00:27:21,599 --> 00:27:25,838 ♪ After all this talkin' on the phone ♪ 509 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,518 Hey, I was just thinking about you. 510 00:28:01,519 --> 00:28:05,120 So are Converse too casual for our first date? 511 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,198 Never mind. Would you like to meet earlier? 512 00:28:08,199 --> 00:28:09,760 Get a drink or two before dinner? 513 00:28:10,839 --> 00:28:11,959 Is that too many questions? 514 00:28:12,279 --> 00:28:14,239 Please, please don't hate me for this. 515 00:28:14,959 --> 00:28:16,040 Okay? I just... 516 00:28:16,959 --> 00:28:19,518 I'm sitting here about to put my makeup on, and I just really, 517 00:28:19,519 --> 00:28:21,080 really want to be on my own. 518 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,399 Okay. 519 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:23,480 It's just... 520 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,119 It's been so crazy with my sisters in the hospital, 521 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:28,480 and I just really... 522 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,720 Well, it's just really lovely to sit in silence. 523 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,720 Yeah. I just want to potter. 524 00:28:37,599 --> 00:28:39,319 Is that okay? 525 00:28:40,239 --> 00:28:41,680 Em... Do you hate me? 526 00:28:44,559 --> 00:28:47,879 But I just want to make sure this isn't a polite way to ghost me. 527 00:28:48,319 --> 00:28:50,160 No, definitely not. 528 00:28:50,319 --> 00:28:51,999 It's just nice to have absolutely no one around 529 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,480 and not be tripping over people or Lego or have someone need me. 530 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,079 Okay, I'm going to hang up now before 531 00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,919 I start taking this personally. 532 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,760 Okay, bye. I'll see you soon. 533 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:23,959 Hi, Luke. Hi, Mags. 534 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,278 Is Anna around? No, actually, she's not. 535 00:29:27,279 --> 00:29:28,440 I haven't seen her. 536 00:29:28,839 --> 00:29:29,839 Your dad here? 537 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,279 No, he's gone to Dundrum to collect Mum and get some dinner. 538 00:29:33,599 --> 00:29:34,599 Alright, nice. 539 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:36,680 Are you okay? 540 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:38,638 Do you want to come in? It's just me here. 541 00:29:38,639 --> 00:29:39,720 Kate's in bed. Yeah. 542 00:29:40,559 --> 00:29:43,359 Sorry, Maggie, I don't really know why I'm here, to be honest. 543 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,760 I went to go and see Rachel, and... 544 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:47,759 I don't know. 545 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,278 I feel a bit weird about the whole thing. 546 00:29:49,279 --> 00:29:51,080 Come on in. We'll put on the kettle. 547 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:53,719 Okay. 548 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,479 Mum was telling me that you have to say everything in front 549 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:57,519 of the whole group. 550 00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,080 Yeah. 551 00:29:59,559 --> 00:30:00,000 I felt like such a bully. 552 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,120 They told me it would help her if I was brutally honest, so I was. 553 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,279 They said that she's as sick as her secrets. 554 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,080 Whatever that means. 555 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:12,719 I don't know what that means, 556 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,239 but I know that she's gonna... 557 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,319 eventually know that you were just trying to help her. 558 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:18,440 Will she? 559 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:19,720 Yeah. 560 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:21,839 I saw how hurt she was, Mags. 561 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:24,760 I mean, I told her I didn't love her. 562 00:30:25,239 --> 00:30:27,199 But you do. Of course, I love her. 563 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,440 I just don't know where we go from here. 564 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,159 I would ask you to come back to my house, 565 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,238 but I've got my cousins are staying there at the moment. 566 00:30:40,239 --> 00:30:41,999 So it's not really worth it. No, it's fine. 567 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,119 I have a lecture. Do you? 568 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:45,838 Yeah, that's my night in college. Oh, God. 569 00:30:45,839 --> 00:30:48,359 See, your woman is going to be in Dancing with the Stars. 570 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,278 I don't know half the people in that programme any more. 571 00:30:51,279 --> 00:30:52,518 I mean, who even is she 572 00:30:52,519 --> 00:30:54,278 only the daughter of your man with the radio voice. 573 00:30:54,279 --> 00:30:55,360 Mm. 574 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,080 Mary. 575 00:31:06,279 --> 00:31:07,720 Helen. 576 00:31:08,279 --> 00:31:10,800 It is. At least she's got the school bag. 577 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,439 God forgive me for doubting her. 578 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,760 I never actually thought she was going to those lectures. 579 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,958 What are you doing? What- 580 00:31:32,959 --> 00:31:34,599 Mary. 581 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,638 Oh, fuck. 582 00:31:39,639 --> 00:31:40,680 What? 583 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:44,598 Is that your mum? Yeah. 584 00:31:44,599 --> 00:31:46,000 Helen Walsh? Mum. 585 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,079 Are you okay? 586 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,079 You were supposed to be the easy one. 587 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,198 The fifth child is supposed to slot right in. 588 00:31:52,199 --> 00:31:54,719 I already have a troublemaker, a drama queen, an unreliable, 589 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,918 and a people pleaser. Come on, Helen, give me a break. 590 00:31:56,919 --> 00:31:59,120 Will you please stop. No, will you stop? 591 00:31:59,599 --> 00:32:02,720 No, I'm not going to change my life because you're a homophobe. 592 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:04,360 A homophobe? 593 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,799 I don't give a shit who you're kissing 594 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,720 be it man, woman, or feckin' gender fluid. 595 00:32:11,959 --> 00:32:13,120 But vaping. 596 00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,279 My daughter, a vapist. 597 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,838 Fifth, you said you were an only child. 598 00:32:19,839 --> 00:32:20,918 I... 599 00:32:20,919 --> 00:32:22,439 Well, that's a really weird thing to lie about. 600 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,518 Why would you lie about that? 601 00:32:23,519 --> 00:32:24,720 You a full on catfish? 602 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,079 No, no, Sam. 603 00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:27,400 Look, no, I... 604 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,799 There are no long-term studies about the effects of vaping. 605 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,959 Could you not just be normal and smoke a cigarette? 606 00:32:36,199 --> 00:32:38,760 She seems kind of nice. 607 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,160 What's a catfish? 608 00:32:41,599 --> 00:32:43,878 You wouldn't understand. Well, I might. 609 00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:44,919 Try me. 610 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,440 So go on. How was your night? 611 00:32:54,199 --> 00:32:55,239 Did you get some rest? 612 00:32:56,839 --> 00:32:57,838 Yeah. Did you? 613 00:32:57,839 --> 00:33:00,198 Well, no, actually, because Garv didn't text me back. 614 00:33:00,199 --> 00:33:01,638 And no matter what is going on with us, 615 00:33:01,639 --> 00:33:03,360 we always text each other back. 616 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,359 And then he rang this morning to say, Oh, sorry, 617 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:06,800 he was stuck in meetings. 618 00:33:06,919 --> 00:33:08,680 And you don't believe him? 619 00:33:08,919 --> 00:33:10,518 But that's happened before, hasn't it? 620 00:33:10,519 --> 00:33:11,598 No, I do believe him. 621 00:33:11,599 --> 00:33:14,518 I'm just afraid that the schedule and everything's pissed him off. 622 00:33:14,519 --> 00:33:15,559 Ah, Mags. 623 00:33:16,239 --> 00:33:17,918 I just think you're being too sensitive. 624 00:33:17,919 --> 00:33:18,959 Just one night. 625 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:20,760 Probably hormonal. 626 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,760 Possibly. Yeah. 627 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,400 I cancelled my date last night. 628 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:35,360 I know. 629 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,279 I was really looking forward to it. 630 00:33:38,599 --> 00:33:40,120 I was just so tired. 631 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,759 And the idea of a night alone... 632 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:47,518 No, no Kate, no talking, questions, 633 00:33:47,519 --> 00:33:50,720 no fights over brushing teeth. I just... 634 00:33:54,599 --> 00:33:56,679 Am I terrible? No, you're not terrible. 635 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:57,720 I just... 636 00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,599 I'm sorry that you find it so hard. 637 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,120 Sometimes I just wish I was child free. 638 00:34:05,599 --> 00:34:06,599 You know? 639 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,279 I can't wish that now. I love Kate. 640 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,957 Just wish I'd never had her. No, because... 641 00:34:11,958 --> 00:34:14,238 Because now she's here. 642 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,318 My life would be destroyed if anything happened to her. 643 00:34:16,319 --> 00:34:17,480 I love her. She's mine. 644 00:34:19,879 --> 00:34:22,119 If I never had her, never met her, 645 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,360 I think I would have a really beautiful life child free. 646 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,319 Legend. 647 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,440 Shove up. 648 00:34:39,319 --> 00:34:40,718 So? 649 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,559 Mum tells me you're a lesbian now. Excuse me? 650 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,479 Jesus, Claire. What? 651 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,278 Said she saw you kissing a girl down by the village. 652 00:34:47,279 --> 00:34:49,198 Oh, that makes me a lesbian now, does it? 653 00:34:49,199 --> 00:34:50,999 Does it not? Fundamentally, yes. 654 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,279 No, it doesn't. 655 00:34:52,639 --> 00:34:55,239 Well, then what are you? 656 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:56,917 What do you mean what am I? 657 00:34:56,918 --> 00:34:58,278 Well, come on. 658 00:34:58,279 --> 00:35:00,198 I can't be dealing with all this woke stuff. 659 00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:01,919 Are you gay or not? No, I just... 660 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,439 You know, there's so few sane people in the world 661 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,559 that if I meet one, I tend to want to spend more time with them. 662 00:35:08,879 --> 00:35:09,879 Fair. 663 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:11,599 Yeah, and wise. 664 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,879 Fair and wise. Oh, my God. 665 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,519 This is a oat latte, right? 666 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:24,119 Hey, love, just leaving work. I'll see you at home. 667 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,480 I'll pick up Chinese on the way. Love you. 668 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:28,800 Hi. 669 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:34,800 Hey. 670 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,199 I'm at home. I think about you all the time. 671 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,399 I have a pain in my stomach from missing you. 672 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,080 It feels like I have appendicitis. 673 00:35:44,199 --> 00:35:45,919 I don't even have my appendix. 674 00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:47,919 Do you have your appendix? 675 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:54,599 I never asked about your appendix or your tonsils. 676 00:35:54,879 --> 00:35:57,839 I am never going to know more about you than I already know. 677 00:36:00,839 --> 00:36:03,239 And it makes me feel like I can't stand up straight. 678 00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:09,919 I just... don't know what to do, Aidan. 679 00:36:12,199 --> 00:36:13,199 It's not fair. 680 00:36:15,839 --> 00:36:16,839 It's not fair. 681 00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:22,238 No. 682 00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,360 It's just going to be Dan trying to give me drugs. 683 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:25,680 No, it's not. 684 00:36:30,199 --> 00:36:31,199 Stay. 685 00:36:31,959 --> 00:36:33,519 Please. 686 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,120 Stay. 687 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:49,160 Janie? 688 00:36:53,959 --> 00:36:54,959 Is... 689 00:36:56,879 --> 00:36:58,120 Whose baby is that? 690 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,360 Can I come in? 691 00:37:02,839 --> 00:37:03,839 Yeah. 692 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:21,959 Do you want to hold him? No. 693 00:37:23,319 --> 00:37:24,319 Sorry. 694 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,559 Can't. That's okay. 695 00:37:28,639 --> 00:37:30,439 I know it's a lot for you to take in. 696 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:31,800 It was a lot for him too. 697 00:37:32,639 --> 00:37:34,120 Ohh. 698 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:35,958 Yeah, I should have said it sooner. 699 00:37:35,959 --> 00:37:37,000 I just... 700 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:39,080 Well, I wasn't sure, and... 701 00:37:39,559 --> 00:37:41,400 he was so happy with you. 702 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:43,720 Sorry. 703 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:48,039 Sorry, this is just too fucking strange. 704 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:52,079 You're trying to tell me that that baby is half Aidan's, 705 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:56,160 but Aidan also loved me but didn't tell me he had a child. 706 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,160 He didn't know until the day of the car crash. 707 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:03,719 I swear to you. 708 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:05,400 Aidan and I, we grew up together. 709 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,838 We've known each other our whole lives. 710 00:38:07,839 --> 00:38:11,159 We moved here together and we loved each other, 711 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:14,000 but we were never in love. 712 00:38:14,319 --> 00:38:15,639 We weren't made for each other. 713 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,479 At the moment he met you, he was obsessed. 714 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,518 We all went for goodbye drinks, 715 00:38:22,519 --> 00:38:24,480 and he spoke about you to everyone. 716 00:38:24,639 --> 00:38:26,199 Sorry not to be rude, but can you just... 717 00:38:27,959 --> 00:38:30,440 get to the part where you got pregnant with his child? 718 00:38:30,919 --> 00:38:32,119 It's not the prettiest story. 719 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,199 I mean, it's Aidan. 720 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,800 We sometimes, rarely, 721 00:38:39,599 --> 00:38:41,599 hooked up when we were drunk. 722 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,958 Before you, obviously. 723 00:38:43,959 --> 00:38:46,199 But, well, just before. 724 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,079 I was seeing somebody at the time, 725 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:51,439 so I didn't tell Aidan that I was pregnant. 726 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,480 I didn't want to make things weird, but... 727 00:38:54,519 --> 00:38:59,680 I was with Mark, and Aidan was with you, and we drifted. 728 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,120 Naturally. 729 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:04,638 So why did you blow up his whole life? 730 00:39:04,639 --> 00:39:05,919 Why not just keep it yourself? 731 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,958 Because once I knew this child was Aidan's, 732 00:39:07,959 --> 00:39:09,439 I couldn't keep that from him. 733 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:10,000 He would have been an amazing father. 734 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:13,079 So what? 735 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:14,318 I'm just meant to be okay with the fact 736 00:39:14,319 --> 00:39:15,479 that you have my fiancé's baby, 737 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,958 and I'm never going to get that chance. 738 00:39:16,959 --> 00:39:19,120 I'm not saying you have to be okay with it. 739 00:39:21,879 --> 00:39:23,399 Maybe it was wrong of me to come here. 740 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,759 I just thought this is all that's left of a man 741 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,759 that we both really cared about, 742 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,719 and I thought it would bring you some odd comfort. 743 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,639 I'm sorry. I can't do this. I can't... 744 00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,238 I just can't do this on my own. 745 00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:38,120 I'm so sorry, you're going to have to leave. 746 00:39:38,319 --> 00:39:39,318 Okay. 747 00:39:39,319 --> 00:39:40,360 Um... 748 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:00,120 Come here. 749 00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:06,000 I'm so proud of you. See you soon, alright? 750 00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:11,319 To your Majesty. 751 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:14,439 Alright, I'm done. 752 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:15,598 I'll see you all at the meetings, alright? 753 00:40:15,599 --> 00:40:16,639 You, as well. 754 00:40:41,639 --> 00:40:42,639 Hey. 755 00:40:42,959 --> 00:40:44,839 You said you were off at 6:00. 756 00:40:44,959 --> 00:40:46,918 Obviously never spent any time with the doctor. 757 00:40:46,919 --> 00:40:48,559 No, you're right, I haven't. 758 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:50,800 But I'd like to spend more time with you. 759 00:40:51,279 --> 00:40:55,080 So you're not going to cancel last minute if I ask out again? 760 00:40:55,839 --> 00:40:57,080 I mean, I hope not. 761 00:41:12,919 --> 00:41:13,919 Yeah? 762 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,680 Do you mind if I come in? Sure. 763 00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:20,239 Okay. 764 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:38,080 Yeah, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry by what I said. 765 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:43,039 I was just really angry and embarrassed, 766 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:44,599 and I took it out on you. 767 00:41:45,279 --> 00:41:46,279 You sure did. 768 00:41:47,639 --> 00:41:49,239 How did that make you feel? 769 00:41:50,319 --> 00:41:51,319 Great. 770 00:41:51,639 --> 00:41:52,639 And then, shit. 771 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,080 Kind of like cocaine. 772 00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:02,040 You know you're right, Rachel. 773 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:03,919 I don't have children. 774 00:42:04,199 --> 00:42:05,679 I've made peace with it now, 775 00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:06,879 but it took a while. 776 00:42:08,199 --> 00:42:12,198 It was hard to accept that I had wasted every moment 777 00:42:12,199 --> 00:42:16,480 of my fertile years with a needle in any vein I could find. 778 00:42:20,839 --> 00:42:21,839 I... 779 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,199 I didn't know. Well, you do know. 780 00:42:25,959 --> 00:42:28,599 We're all the same, addicts. 781 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:32,519 Maybe my experience can help you one day. 782 00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:38,319 I'm really sorry for saying it. 783 00:42:38,879 --> 00:42:40,319 I didn't even know if it was true. 784 00:42:51,519 --> 00:42:53,639 Do you find silence uncomfortable? 785 00:42:55,959 --> 00:42:58,559 Eh... I don't know. 786 00:42:59,639 --> 00:43:00,639 My... 787 00:43:00,839 --> 00:43:01,839 My house is loud. 788 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,400 Work's loud. 789 00:43:04,559 --> 00:43:05,679 My head's really loud. 790 00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:08,958 So I don't know. 791 00:43:08,959 --> 00:43:11,160 It's just hard to find quiet, I suppose. 792 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:12,439 I hear you. 793 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,959 I used to only find it when I was running. 794 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:16,720 Oh, don't like running. 795 00:43:17,319 --> 00:43:18,800 I tried it once, but, eh... 796 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,198 it just felt like someone was chasing me. 797 00:43:22,199 --> 00:43:23,720 So I don't know. 798 00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:25,919 It just made me feel more anxious. 799 00:43:27,919 --> 00:43:28,919 Say more. 800 00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:31,918 I don't know. 801 00:43:31,919 --> 00:43:33,199 I just got this feeling. 802 00:43:34,199 --> 00:43:35,680 I always get it. It's like... 803 00:43:38,879 --> 00:43:43,000 It's like I'm a raindrop that had just hit the sea, 804 00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,599 and it swallows me up. I'm gone. 805 00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:59,680 Yeah, I just... 806 00:44:00,919 --> 00:44:02,279 I got lost in it. 807 00:44:05,839 --> 00:44:07,599 And... 808 00:44:09,199 --> 00:44:11,918 And one day, I just said to myself, I was just like, 809 00:44:11,919 --> 00:44:13,199 Ugh. 810 00:44:14,599 --> 00:44:16,279 What is the point in all this? 811 00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,959 I feel like shit all the time. 812 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,599 So, em... 813 00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:31,999 I take drugs to stop feeling like shit, 814 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,238 and then the drugs wear off, 815 00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:34,440 and then I just feel worse. 816 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,519 I was just so tired. 817 00:44:41,839 --> 00:44:46,760 So I just, I ran and I ran, and then I ran until I got to the sea. 818 00:44:48,639 --> 00:44:49,639 And? 819 00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:52,319 Well, 820 00:44:52,959 --> 00:44:56,559 dad was obsessed with us getting swimming lessons as kids. 821 00:44:56,879 --> 00:44:59,199 So I'm actually a really good swimmer. 822 00:44:59,839 --> 00:45:00,839 So there was no point. 823 00:45:02,279 --> 00:45:06,000 That's the first positive thing I ever heard you say about yourself. 824 00:45:06,959 --> 00:45:09,160 Yeah. Woo! I can swim. 825 00:45:09,959 --> 00:45:10,959 Eh... 826 00:45:12,199 --> 00:45:20,279 Then it's just like, if I go in, I'm just going to be wet and sad, 827 00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,040 which is objectively worse than just being sad. 828 00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,080 So there was no point. 829 00:45:27,519 --> 00:45:28,879 So what did you do then? 830 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,160 I just rounded off the usual suspects and got fucked up. 831 00:45:33,519 --> 00:45:34,519 And? 832 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,080 It was amazing. 833 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:42,958 I remember the first time I tried to coke, 834 00:45:42,959 --> 00:45:44,918 and I remember thinking, 835 00:45:44,919 --> 00:45:46,359 all these people know the secret, 836 00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:47,400 and no one told me. 837 00:45:48,279 --> 00:45:49,639 But I found out for myself. 838 00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:52,558 And then I was like, I want to know what other secrets 839 00:45:52,559 --> 00:45:53,919 these bastard have. 840 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:56,559 So... 841 00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,400 the day I was going to go into the sea, 842 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:02,000 cocaine saved me. 843 00:46:04,319 --> 00:46:05,318 Yeah, you're right. 844 00:46:05,319 --> 00:46:08,680 Drugs have saved you, but they're not working any more. 845 00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,279 How long has it been since you, em... 846 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:16,878 used? 847 00:46:16,879 --> 00:46:19,199 25 years. 848 00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,080 One day at a time. 849 00:46:22,639 --> 00:46:24,319 Wow. 850 00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:27,238 How? 851 00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:28,959 That's like a whole lifetime. 852 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,000 Meetings. 853 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:32,680 A good sponsor. 854 00:46:33,639 --> 00:46:36,239 No excitement for about a year. 855 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:40,800 I mean, try and stay in the same emotional temperature. 856 00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:45,839 Nothing that makes you too sad or too happy or too anything. 857 00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,440 But you're not ready to leave yet. 858 00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:49,760 Don't worry. 859 00:46:49,879 --> 00:46:52,999 We'll get Celine to go with you to the memorial, 860 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,519 and she'll help you cope with all that emotion. 861 00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,120 Well, I just don't think anyone wants to see my face. 862 00:47:06,599 --> 00:47:08,239 Nobody wants me. 863 00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:13,680 Anna doesn't want me. 864 00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:16,160 Luke doesn't want me. 865 00:47:17,639 --> 00:47:19,319 Chris doesn't even fucking want me. 866 00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,918 It is really painful, 867 00:47:21,919 --> 00:47:26,239 but this is everything addiction has taken from you. 868 00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:28,040 So how do I get it back? 869 00:47:29,599 --> 00:47:30,719 I mean, 870 00:47:30,720 --> 00:47:32,000 how do I get everyone to like me again? 871 00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:36,120 You can't, love. 872 00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,199 You just have to like yourself. 873 00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:43,120 But I don't. 874 00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:47,360 I don't. 875 00:47:48,559 --> 00:47:49,559 I know. 876 00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:51,720 But you will. 877 00:47:55,559 --> 00:47:56,919 25 years... 878 00:48:06,319 --> 00:48:07,680 Anna. Hey. 879 00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,119 Are you okay? 880 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:10,518 We were just talking about the memorial. 881 00:48:10,519 --> 00:48:13,039 I was thinking maybe do you want to say a few words? 882 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:14,759 Yeah, I was going to make a slide show of photos. 883 00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:15,799 Can I take them for your phone? 884 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,479 We can help you write a speech now. Do you want to sit down inside? 885 00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:20,040 No, I'm not going to say anything. 886 00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:21,439 I didn't know him at all. 887 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,079 I literally knew nothing about him. 888 00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,039 I'm just stupid and impulsive and never can see that. 889 00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:26,918 And that's why everybody takes advantage of me. 890 00:48:26,919 --> 00:48:28,999 Anna, what are you talking about? I need to lie down. 891 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,558 We have nothing prepared for tomorrow. 892 00:48:30,559 --> 00:48:31,839 No one cares, Claire. 893 00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,239 Do you want us to cancel it? I don't care... 894 00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,839 Well, we can't cancel it because everybody's been invited. 895 00:48:38,199 --> 00:48:40,399 So you go and have your lie down, Anna. 896 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,318 You do the music, you do the photos. 897 00:48:42,319 --> 00:48:43,518 And if she doesn't want to say anything... 898 00:48:43,519 --> 00:48:44,559 What? 899 00:48:45,279 --> 00:48:46,279 Nothing. 900 00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:47,480 Nothing. 901 00:48:57,720 --> 00:48:59,879 Has something else happened, Anna? 902 00:49:04,559 --> 00:49:05,559 Baby. 903 00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:08,359 Like, what do you mean? 904 00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:11,518 And then you come into my house with your stupid fucking little bob, 905 00:49:11,519 --> 00:49:13,599 and then I'm meant to just be okay with that? 906 00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:17,318 How am I even... What am I supposed to do with that? 907 00:49:17,319 --> 00:49:18,879 Who are you talking to? What? 908 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,000 Myself. 909 00:49:20,599 --> 00:49:22,598 Okay. Are you responding? 910 00:49:22,599 --> 00:49:24,759 Because that's a sign of psychosis. No, I'm not responding. 911 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,199 Well, I don't have the answers. 912 00:49:27,279 --> 00:49:28,279 Okay. 913 00:49:29,959 --> 00:49:31,318 What do you need? Rachel. 914 00:49:31,319 --> 00:49:33,919 I need to speak to Rachel. 915 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,120 Here. Want some? 916 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:40,559 Yeah. Lovely. 917 00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:44,278 No, I don't do sugar. Oh, come on. 918 00:49:44,279 --> 00:49:45,680 Just eat some. No, I'm good. 919 00:49:45,839 --> 00:49:46,918 Here, I'll have some. 920 00:49:46,919 --> 00:49:48,639 Rachel, where does your sister live? 921 00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,760 In the Blackrock. Why? 922 00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,480 I just have never seen this chocolate outside of an airport. 923 00:49:54,839 --> 00:49:57,000 Oh, fuck. What's wrong? 924 00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,599 I forgot about the airport pints. 925 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:04,480 How the fuck am I meant to go on holiday sober? 926 00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:06,680 You'll be alright. You'll manage. 927 00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,918 I watched this literally 20 men in suits flock to the bar 928 00:50:24,919 --> 00:50:27,040 to help this lad who was close to a relapse. 929 00:50:27,919 --> 00:50:29,318 When you get out, you call me. 930 00:50:29,319 --> 00:50:31,680 I'll take you to a meeting. You'll be alright. 931 00:50:37,319 --> 00:50:38,319 Anna. 932 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:40,879 Anna, hi. Stop, stop. 933 00:50:42,199 --> 00:50:43,199 Are you okay? 934 00:50:43,839 --> 00:50:44,839 Am I okay? 935 00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:48,000 Are you serious? Yeah, Anna, you look really... 936 00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,119 You're scaring me. Do you want to come and...? 937 00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:55,199 Are you happy, Rachel? 938 00:50:56,959 --> 00:50:58,000 Is this what you wanted? 939 00:50:59,199 --> 00:51:00,518 Me all to yourself? 940 00:51:00,519 --> 00:51:02,440 Are you fucking happy now? 941 00:51:03,319 --> 00:51:06,160 You and your awful obsession with yourself and getting what you want. 942 00:51:07,879 --> 00:51:09,198 Anna, please. No, don't even try. 943 00:51:09,199 --> 00:51:10,000 I never want to hear your voice ever again. 944 00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:16,958 Did you just come here to have a go with me? 945 00:51:16,959 --> 00:51:18,120 No, Rachel. 946 00:51:18,519 --> 00:51:22,800 I came here because Aidan has a fucking baby with another woman. 947 00:51:24,720 --> 00:51:28,278 And I realised I have been so dependent on you for my entire life 948 00:51:28,279 --> 00:51:30,159 that I don't even know how I feel about something 949 00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:31,999 until I know how you feel about it. 950 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:36,598 And then I come here and I see your stupid face and your junkie friends, 951 00:51:36,599 --> 00:51:40,040 and I realised you will never feel how I do. 952 00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:47,359 No, you'll always, you'll always get what you need. 953 00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:49,638 You're like a tree growing through the wall. 954 00:51:49,639 --> 00:51:53,359 You'll always find a way to make friends and get your own way. 955 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,400 And you don't give a shit about who you damage in the process. 956 00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:58,120 That's not true. 957 00:51:59,839 --> 00:52:00,839 It's not true. 958 00:52:02,839 --> 00:52:05,279 I'm so sorry. 959 00:52:06,319 --> 00:52:08,799 Actually, yeah, it is true for everyone else in the world, 960 00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:10,199 but not you. 961 00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:13,720 I really, really, really give a shit. 962 00:52:19,599 --> 00:52:20,599 No. 963 00:52:22,559 --> 00:52:23,559 No, you don't. 964 00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:28,518 Look, please. 965 00:52:28,519 --> 00:52:31,319 I'm in fucking rehab, okay? 966 00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:33,519 I'm trying. 967 00:52:35,959 --> 00:52:38,160 I just want to wipe the slate clean, Anna. 968 00:52:38,519 --> 00:52:39,599 It's my slate. 969 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,360 You don't get to wipe it clean. 970 00:52:45,599 --> 00:52:46,839 So what? 971 00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:51,278 What about the memorial or the funeral or whatever? 972 00:52:51,279 --> 00:52:53,440 Yeah obviously I want you to come to the memorial. 973 00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:57,639 But I don't want you there. 974 00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,559 What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? 975 00:54:01,720 --> 00:54:03,720 Subtitling RTÉ 2025.