1 00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,380 Melissa! 2 00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:06,757 Hey, um, I have to supervise this quiz, 3 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,384 but if you see Mr. Johnson, 4 00:00:08,384 --> 00:00:10,386 can you just let him know that I may need a spare key? 5 00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:11,804 I blanked where I put mine. 6 00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,139 You better not lose our house key. 7 00:00:13,139 --> 00:00:14,640 My cousin Billy just got out. 8 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,393 But sure, I'll tell him if I see him. 9 00:00:17,393 --> 00:00:19,228 Hey, if you see Mr. Johnson, 10 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,980 can you tell him that Jacob may need a... 11 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,359 Dia, tell Mr. Johnson that Jacob needs to find... 12 00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:31,073 Mr. Johnson?! 13 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,242 Janine! Yeah? 14 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:34,410 Have you seen Mr. Johnson? 15 00:00:34,410 --> 00:00:35,536 Before, yeah. Today, no. 16 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,329 If you do, can you let him know 17 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,789 that Jacob desperately needs... Make some noise! 18 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,001 Oh, my God. That sounds time-sensitive. 19 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,335 Okay, yeah. I'll let him know right away. 20 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,921 Mr. Johnson: There you are. 21 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:48,507 Wasn't easy, but I got you a mariachi band for lesson time. 22 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,843 What? I said I may need a spare key. 23 00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:52,052 I blanked where I put mine. 24 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,471 That's not what I was told. 25 00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:55,556 Also, you need to clean the upstairs bathroom. 26 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,850 This took a long time to put together. 27 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,870 Oh, they look so good. 28 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,622 Come on. 29 00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:21,582 Mother's Day has become very important to me 30 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,043 ever since I lost my mom a few years ago. 31 00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:26,295 I like to do something special every year. 32 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,632 And this year, I'm in charge of the hallway decorations, 33 00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:33,469 so the students can show appreciation for their moms. 34 00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:35,888 {\an8}I think the moms are gonna love these. Mm-hmm. 35 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,681 {\an8}You know, when I was a kid, I always made sure 36 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,059 {\an8}I did just enough to stay in my mom's top five. 37 00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:43,062 {\an8}Top five? How many siblings do you have? 38 00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:46,148 {\an8}Hey, so I got my sisters Kristin Marie, Marie, 39 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,566 {\an8}Mary Camille, Maria Christina, 40 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,068 {\an8}my sister Toni, my brother Tony, 41 00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:51,070 {\an8}John Anthony, and Seamus. 42 00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:53,030 {\an8}It's a different dad. 43 00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:55,241 {\an8}Barb, do you need me to bring anything else to the house 44 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,742 {\an8}on Sunday besides lasagna? 45 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:59,036 {\an8}You know I handle everything for Mother's Day. 46 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,913 {\an8}And the only reason I'm letting you bring the lasagna 47 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:03,165 {\an8}is because Gerald won't shut up about it. 48 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,792 {\an8}If either of you have a hankering afterward 49 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,961 {\an8}for bottomless mimosas, I will be at Mothered Day, 50 00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:09,296 {\an8}which is a themed drag brunch over at Rubensteins, 51 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,382 {\an8}celebrating all of our mothers. 52 00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:13,050 {\an8}Oh, I wish I could, kid, 53 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:16,428 {\an8}but I'm going to my mom's after, and I can't show up drunk. 54 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,472 {\an8}Mm. It's a family tradition. 55 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,766 {\an8}On Mother's Day, we get drunk as a family. 56 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,268 {\an8}Especially Seamus. 57 00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:24,270 {\an8}So, Janine, what about you and your sister? 58 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,646 {\an8}Anything nice planned? 59 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,773 {\an8}Oh, no, I'll be at drag brunch, also, 60 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,942 {\an8}because my mom doesn't like celebrating Mother's Day. 61 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,986 {\an8}Says it's her least favorite holiday. 62 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,446 {\an8}And my sister's gonna be celebrating with her dad and stepmom. 63 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,198 {\an8}Oh, you two have different dads? 64 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,867 {\an8}Of course, they do. 65 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,076 {\an8}You thought with that height difference 66 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,786 {\an8}they had the same father? 67 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,289 Janine's dad is probably Kevin Hart or something. 68 00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,665 'Cause he short. 69 00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:52,131 So, unfun fact, I actually don't know who my dad is. 70 00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:53,924 I used to think about it a lot when I was younger, 71 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,802 but then, you know, I guess I just kinda stopped. 72 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,637 And I know Ava was joking, 73 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:02,808 but my mom did know Kevin Hart in high school. 74 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,727 And we're both really funny. 75 00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:07,021 So... mm. 76 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:09,356 {\an8}Hey, Ava, um, please tell me you got a chance 77 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,816 {\an8}to go over the field trip options. 78 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,234 {\an8}If we want to get the Natural History Museum, 79 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,652 {\an8}we got to move, like, ASAP because-- 80 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,654 {\an8}Oh. I forgot to tell you. Not happening. 81 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,072 We don't have money for a field trip. 82 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,074 So, what? We just cancel the trip this year? 83 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,492 I would rather die. 84 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,077 My cousin Jamil just opened a cemetery. 85 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:24,830 This school always finds a way to disappoint me. 86 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,540 Okay, that's not great. 87 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,708 Well, if you can figure out a way 88 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,209 to get money for a field trip, 89 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,462 then you won't have to disappoint all of us. 90 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,132 Barb, you really nailed this. 91 00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,176 Thank you. What? 92 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:40,471 "Thanks, Moms"? What is that, sarcasm? 93 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,390 Find what matches. 94 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,309 That's how you know what's gonna rhyme, okay? 95 00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:46,477 Gregory. 96 00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:47,770 Can we talk to you, please? 97 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,688 Uh, yeah. 98 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,441 Um, I'll be right back, y'all. 99 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:55,903 Um, is there something you need? 100 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,530 Every other class has made touching tributes 101 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,366 to their mothers for the hallway. 102 00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,284 And then I saw yours. 103 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,536 Oh, it left much to be desired. 104 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,580 Right, well, I told my students they could participate 105 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,873 if they wanted to, and some of them did. 106 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,667 Oh. Typical guy. 107 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:12,044 You know, my brothers phone it in for Mother's Day, too. 108 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:15,005 I mean, Tony's got an excuse. He's locked up. 109 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,007 For a non-violent crime. 110 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,551 Don't you want all of your students to participate? 111 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,719 I mean, think about it. 112 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,429 Wouldn't your mom be disappointed 113 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,556 if you didn't do something special for her this year? 114 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:28,060 Mm-hmm. Um... no. 115 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,396 Um, because my mom passed away when I was 9. 116 00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:32,147 Oh, Gregory. 117 00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:33,941 I'm-- I'm sorry. I-I didn't-- 118 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,818 Why didn't you bring this up before? 119 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,569 There's not a lot of natural segues. 120 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:38,737 Like, "Oh, how was your weekend?" 121 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:39,989 "My mom died when I was 9." 122 00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:41,115 Okay, well, maybe not that, 123 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:42,658 but, you know, in that area. 124 00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,244 And I know this holiday must be difficult for you. 125 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,537 It's really okay. 126 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:48,163 I usually just stop by Topgolf. 127 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,748 It's Mother's Day, so the dads are usually busy, 128 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,250 so I have the whole place to myself. 129 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:54,503 Mr. Eddie, Damien won't stop poking me. 130 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,838 Excuse me. 131 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,423 What's going on with y'all today? 132 00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:59,508 Barbara. Oh. 133 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,010 I cannot sit around 134 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:03,512 knowing that young man will be sad and alone 135 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:06,181 at Topless Golf. Okay, I think it's Topgolf. 136 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:09,435 Well, either way, he should join us for family brunch on Sunday. 137 00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,562 That is a great idea. Mm-hmm. 138 00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:13,814 And you know what? Actually, so is Topless Golf. 139 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,567 I mean, give me a warm climate, I'm down for 18. 140 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,822 Hey, you got a sec? 141 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,449 Ava says we don't have any money for a field trip, 142 00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:25,993 but I mean, we can't just-- we can't just give up on it. 143 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,494 How do you start a GoFundMe? 144 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,954 Jacob, you don't think height is genetic, do you? 145 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,664 I mean, like, no field trip this year? 146 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,499 That is-- That really gets my goat. 147 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,626 We just need, like, a little bit of coin and-- 148 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,128 I mean, that'd be crazy if my dad, like, 149 00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:38,630 sold out Madison Square Garden for a comedy show. 150 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,549 Wait, you're not being serious, are you? 151 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,384 Ava was just being Ava. 152 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,720 Yeah, no, I know, but... 153 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,639 my mom actually did know him, so... Oh, really? 154 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,600 Well, why don't you just call her up and ask? 155 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,144 No, that's too bananas. 156 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,896 Unless... 157 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:56,231 Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Why not? 158 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:58,192 It is almost Mother's Day. Okay, you do that thing. 159 00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,903 I'm gonna get started on this thang. Okay. 160 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,994 Hey, girl. I'm just at the hair salon. 161 00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,330 Oh, hey, Mom. You actually picked up. 162 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:14,500 Oh, girl, I gotta save you as "daughter Janine." 163 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:16,794 I thought you were "parole officer Janine." 164 00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:18,712 I'm actually in Canada. 165 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,923 Sure. I'll just get to the point then. 166 00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:22,966 Uh, Mom, you said you went to high school 167 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,427 with Kevin Hart, right? Sure did. 168 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,805 He was the star of the basketball team. 169 00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:30,015 He won the dunk contest and everything. 170 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,850 Craziest I've ever seen. 171 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,811 Yeah, that is crazy. 172 00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:36,980 You two didn't, like, date, right, or anything? 173 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,108 Date?! Girl, no. I would never. 174 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,568 But we did though. 175 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,153 Look, I gotta go. 176 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,197 Somebody is trying to put gravy on my fries. 177 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,658 Now, hold up, Jack. What is this "aboot"? 178 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:52,496 Look at us standing all nice and tall. 179 00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:53,789 Proud of you. 180 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:56,250 You guys over here, don't stress. 181 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,461 Life, uh, finds a way. 182 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,755 Gregory, I see you talking to your plants. 183 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,507 It's supposed to stimulate growth. 184 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:06,218 Well, I read that the ones tended to the most 185 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,427 grow the strongest. 186 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,096 It's a delicate balance. 187 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:12,266 Over-watering and over-pruning can sometimes smother a plant. 188 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,393 Well, I'm having a Mother's Day gathering 189 00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:16,061 at my home on Sunday, 190 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,896 and I would love it if you would join us. 191 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,940 Oh, it's okay. Really. I'm good. Tha-- 192 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,817 Oh, we're going to have family and friends 193 00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,361 and a spread that even you will enjoy, 194 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,780 and I won't take no for an answer. 195 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,158 Okay. Well, I'll be there. 196 00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,576 Can I bring anything? 197 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:33,412 Please don't. 198 00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:37,541 Obviously, this means a lot to Barbara, so I'll stop by. 199 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,877 Swing by. Fly by. 200 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,753 The point is, this is gonna be quick. 201 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,089 So, to find out if Kevin Hart is actually my dad, 202 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,716 I'm contacting him on every platform, 203 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:46,884 starting with Venmo. 204 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,594 Love that for us. Mm-hmm. 205 00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:49,928 And you would think I'd be requesting money. 206 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,181 But no. Actually, I'm sending him a dollar. 207 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,849 Whoa, what the "H"? 208 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,726 I just got an e-mail saying that the GoFundMe 209 00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,561 for the field trip has been taken down. 210 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,188 "Due to constant fraudulent activity, 211 00:07:59,188 --> 00:08:01,732 all fundraisers related to 'Abbott Elementary' 212 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:02,941 have been suspended." 213 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,610 Damn, they shut it down already? 214 00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,069 Abott with one B, Abbottt with three T's, 215 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,613 and Addington are burned, too. 216 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,031 Burned? Ava, what did you do? 217 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,741 What didn't I do? 218 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,284 You will never understand what it takes to be a principal. 219 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,787 You could bust out Janine Teagues Elementary. 220 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,998 No. No, that's stupid. 221 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,791 Or is it? I can hear you. 222 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,126 But you can't stop me. 223 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,544 Jacob, why don't you just go 224 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,879 to this week's PTA meeting? 225 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,172 I mean, if they're gonna exist, 226 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,632 they might as well do something. 227 00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:30,135 Oh. 228 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,429 Oh, Melissa Schemmenti, you are good. 229 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,181 Yeah, what a surprise. 230 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,099 And, Janine, I don't know how nuts you want to get here, 231 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,602 but I do know a guy who knows Kevin Hart's barber. 232 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,811 I introduced him to his wife. 233 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,104 Well, now his ex-wife, 234 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,773 but technically, he still owes me. 235 00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,983 We get some of his hair-- run the DNA. 236 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,568 Mr. Johnson: Barbers. I hate 'em. 237 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,487 Who do you think did this to me? 238 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,156 The worst barber of all-- time. 239 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,450 Melissa, that is demented. 240 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,369 I love it. 241 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,246 Look, it drove my brother Seamus crazy 242 00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:58,789 not knowing who his dad was. 243 00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:01,500 That's why he drinks. And other reasons, too. 244 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,210 And I don't want that for Janine. 245 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,340 Tariq, my man, my dude, my prez. 246 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,092 Hey, I was hoping we could talk funds 247 00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,635 for a potential field trip. 248 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,929 Oh, what's up, Jacob? Oh, wait. That sounds dope. 249 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,014 I love going on those. So, you can help fund it? 250 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,724 Oh, no. Unh-unh. 251 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,268 Not with human money. 252 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:22,312 We in the red, baby. Or the black. 253 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,022 Which one means a negative cash flow? 254 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,359 Is that-- Is that sushi? 255 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,945 Come on, man. Don't disrespect Mr. Yanaga like that. 256 00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:32,322 You know damn well this is nigiri. 257 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,283 Don't you think you should be prioritizing activities 258 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:36,702 that actually benefit the students? 259 00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:38,203 Let me break this down for you. 260 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,997 We got to level up this food, 261 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:42,165 make the PTA a club people actually wanna join. 262 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,875 Then boom. 263 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,044 We're gonna hit them with them higher mandatory donations. 264 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,547 By 2027, quarter four, we'll be profitable. 265 00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:51,383 Okay, well, I can't wait until 2027. Quarter four. 266 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,885 I was hoping to get something, like, the end of this year. 267 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,930 Best I can offer is some volunteer chaperones, 268 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,057 transportation, and kanpachi. 269 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,395 Hmm. Get you one of these. 270 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,691 Good, ain't it? 271 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:10,861 Kanpai, Yanaga-san. 272 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,990 Welcome, Gregory. 273 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:17,284 I'm so happy you could make it. 274 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,244 Niecey, come down! 275 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,704 You know my husband. 276 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:23,540 Melissa, I told you I will handle that. 277 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,916 She's been like this all day. 278 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,710 Honestly, she's been like this every holiday 279 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,587 since her mom passed. I told you I got it. 280 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,213 Can you take the macaroni and cheese out the oven? 281 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,757 Right. In a moment. 282 00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:35,093 Everybody, please welcome Gregory, 283 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,095 who's going to be spending Mother's Day with us 284 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,514 because he had no place else to go. Not true. 285 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,224 I did have somewhere else to go and still do. 286 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,352 He's going to be a part of our family today 287 00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,187 because there was no way that I could let 288 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:47,314 a fellow child of bereavement 289 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,941 spend this day alone, isn't that right? 290 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,611 Aunt Barbara, I need help with baby Maya. 291 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,988 Alright, niecey. 292 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,865 So sorry for your loss. 293 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,533 It's okay. It was over 20 years ago. 294 00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,701 Are your family huggers? 295 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:00,744 No. 296 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,204 Well, we are here. 297 00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,872 Oh, okay. 298 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:06,291 Mm. 299 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,626 Thank you. 300 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,127 Th-Thanks. 301 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,462 Mm-hmm. 302 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,798 Oh, hey, Taylor. 303 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:15,425 This is my ex, Gregory. 304 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,927 Gregory. 305 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,637 Nice to meet you. 306 00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:21,264 And your grief is Paul's grief. 307 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,142 Oh, more touching. Okay. 308 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,435 Okay. 309 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:27,270 Thank you. 310 00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:31,149 ♪ Quite another mess ♪ 311 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,068 ♪ And Mama used to say ♪ 312 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,320 ♪ "Take your time, young man" ♪ 313 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,988 ♪ And Mama used to say ♪ 314 00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,616 Hey, y'all are ruining drag brunch for me. I'm sorry. 315 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,076 It's just that any second, I could find out 316 00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:42,285 if Kevin Hart is my dad. 317 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,121 It's giving me a heart attack. 318 00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:46,331 Pun very much intended and pre-planned. 319 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,958 My fingers are crossed, girl. 320 00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,960 'Cause I could finally pitch him my idea for "Get Hard 2." 321 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,963 Pbht. Come on. You wouldn't make a sequel to "Citizen Kane." 322 00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:55,006 Move over. There's no seats left anywhere. 323 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,508 Ava, what are you doing here? 324 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,760 My friend Lisa Condo is the best drag queen here. 325 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,137 Hey. Hey, girl. 326 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:03,223 Hey. Is your house hunt dragging you down? 327 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:08,311 Still no luck on the field trip, huh? How am I gonna 328 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,980 look the children in the eye the rest of the year? 329 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:12,190 I have failed them. Jacob, you have no money, 330 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,942 no help, and a hard-headed principal. 331 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,027 Cheer up. It's gonna get worse before it gets worse. 332 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,822 What's wrong with you? 333 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,199 She waiting to find out if Kevin Hart is her daddy. 334 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,201 Damn. My words really have meaning, huh? 335 00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:26,204 I should be more reckless. 336 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,957 Barbara, where do you keep the Clorox? 337 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,208 Baby Maya got sick. 338 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,793 I will get it in a second, Alicia, 339 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,920 but please take a seat. 340 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,548 Alright, everyone. 341 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,717 Before we feast, 342 00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:43,013 we are going to lift up our brother Gregory Eddie in prayer. 343 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,098 Mm-hmm. We'll put healing hands on him. 344 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,392 Oh. Oh, no, no, no. No, we don't need to do that. 345 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,394 Alright, please. 346 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:52,147 Everybody, bow your heads, 347 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,857 and close your eyes. 348 00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:00,238 Father God, we are gathered here to celebrate mothers, 349 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:04,201 and also to empower Gregory Eddie. 350 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,785 Yes, Lord. Mm. 351 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,954 Please, Father, watch over... 352 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,247 What was your mother's name? 353 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:11,708 That's not necessary. Oh, sure, it is. 354 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,420 It was, um... Faith. 355 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,214 Here we go. Mm. Faith. 356 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:20,175 Faith, the substance of things hoped for 357 00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:22,928 and the evidence of things unseen. 358 00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,262 Yes, Lord. 359 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,889 And just because he cannot see Faith 360 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,516 doesn't mean he doesn't have faith that Faith is with him. 361 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,059 Faith. Ooh. Yes, Lord. 362 00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:31,186 Um... I gotta go. 363 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,604 God is watching. 364 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,898 Tee time. Close your eyes. 365 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,441 Father God, we are asking 366 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:41,112 that you hold him close in your deepest bosom, 367 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:44,157 since his mother is not here to do it herself. 368 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,951 Yes, Lord, hold him tight, Lord. 369 00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:47,994 Amen. Yes, Lord. Thank you. 370 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,246 There it is. Uh-huh. 371 00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,373 This was great. Fantastic. 372 00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,291 Thank you so much. 373 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,502 Uh... excuse me. 374 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,175 Gregory. 375 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,469 Gregory, where are you going? 376 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,971 I'm sorry. I appreciate everything. 377 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,389 Your family is lovely. 378 00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:08,807 I wanted to stop by for a bit, and I did. 379 00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,350 Now I have to head off to Topgolf. 380 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,311 It's Mother's Day. You need to be around community. 381 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,105 No, I need to be alone, hitting golf balls. 382 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,399 Oh, that's so sad. It's not. 383 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:18,817 Having to talk about my dead mother 384 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,235 over and over again is sad. 385 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,404 But we're honoring her. It's tradition. 386 00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,907 It's your tradition, not mine. 387 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,075 Thank you for having me. 388 00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,170 ♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪ 389 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,381 Can you imagine if Kevin Hart is my dad? 390 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,674 Oh, no. 391 00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,009 Are people gonna think I got my job 392 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,635 because I'm a nepo baby? 393 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,512 ♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪ 394 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,014 Oh, my God. It's the DNA guy. 395 00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:51,016 If he is your dad, you two should buy a trench coat, 396 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,101 so you could go to R-rated movies. 397 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,436 Well, aren't you gonna open it? 398 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,021 Mm-hmm. Okay. Open the e-mail, Janine. 399 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,063 And read with some flair. 400 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,898 Okay. 401 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,527 "When it comes to 27-year-old Janine Teagues, Kevin Hart... 402 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,279 is not the father." 403 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,364 Whoo! That's right. 404 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,824 Lock up that frown, doll. 405 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,200 The girls are doing kicks! 406 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,994 Sorry, Janine. Sorry, girl. 407 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,204 I'll get us a round. 408 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,502 And watch over Barbara, Lord. 409 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,339 She lost her mother some years ago. 410 00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,090 Please bring peace to her troubled soul. 411 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,383 Mm-hmm. Let her grieve today. 412 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,719 Hallelujah, amen. Amen. 413 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,179 Now, let's dig in. Okay. 414 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,182 Oh, the pie! Let me help, Barb. 415 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:36,186 I got it, Melissa. I got it. 416 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,440 Oh! 417 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,817 Ooh. I think it's overcooked. 418 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,778 It's perfect, Barb. 419 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,071 Something happen with Gregory? 420 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,822 No, he just had to go. That's all. 421 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,617 Mom, are you okay? 422 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,826 I'm okay. 423 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,119 Because, you know, today's a lot 424 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,788 for one person to shoulder. 425 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,831 And, Mom, today is about you, too. 426 00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:59,084 If you need a moment, just take a moment. 427 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,044 Yeah. We got this. 428 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,632 Maybe you're right. Yeah. 429 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,967 Baby puke will be here when you get back. 430 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,304 I'm kidding. I'll have someone clean it up. 431 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,224 Sometimes we can put an immense amount of pressure 432 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,851 on ourselves to host the perfect gathering, 433 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:19,938 to feel a certain way. 434 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:26,152 And quite frankly, sometimes it's just overwhelming. 435 00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,322 You enjoying the show? 436 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,740 Definitely. 437 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,786 Oh, I-- I only have fives left. 438 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,710 Thank you. 439 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,253 Well, if you enjoyed this, 440 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:44,629 you should come and check out our performance 441 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922 of "A Midsummer Night's Queen" 442 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,216 for our upcoming Shakesqueer In The Park. 443 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,676 Entry's always free. 444 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,137 ♪ Keep it coming, don't stop, mama ♪ 445 00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,722 ♪ Give it to me ♪ 446 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,976 Hey, you was fine before you got 447 00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,686 all this nonsense in your head, right? 448 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,897 Yeah, it's just it would've been nice to finally know. 449 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,942 I don't know who my dad is, and I turned out fine. 450 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,152 Literally, look at me. 451 00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,403 Exactly. 452 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:10,238 Janine, you'd rather have no dad 453 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,531 than a neglectful one. 454 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,866 Trust me. True. 455 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,075 I mean, look at you. 456 00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:15,452 How far you've made it? 457 00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,162 How beautiful your best friend is. 458 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:20,165 Kevin Hart or any daddy wouldn't have changed that. 459 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:24,127 Yeah. You're still Janine, and that's not too bad. 460 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,757 You know, your parents don't define who you are. 461 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:32,594 I'm happy, and I stand on my own. 462 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:36,055 I mean, I literally had to learn how to stand on my own. 463 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,099 Houston, we have liftoff! 464 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,601 We are having a field trip! 465 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,519 We're going to NASA? What? No. 466 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,104 Okay, what's the field trip? 467 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,356 Museums are nice, but kids can have fun anywhere. 468 00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:46,941 They don't need some expensive trip. 469 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,360 So, I was thinking Smith Memorial Playground. 470 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,945 It's free. Yes. 471 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,864 And schools take field trips there all the time. 472 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:55,492 Ooh, that big wooden slide. Okay, NASA can wait. 473 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,452 And Tariq said the PTA could chaperone. 474 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,536 Ha! I have figured it out. 475 00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,246 Boom! I've done it again. 476 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,040 Is there no mountain too high? 477 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,876 Okay, the only problem is we need to reserve it, like, now. 478 00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,711 Oof! They are popular, 479 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,297 and we need to make reservations for the entire school. 480 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,883 What you gonna do? 481 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,803 Maybe we could, like-- Ava, if you could-- 482 00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:15,929 Oh, no. 483 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,056 Attention, everyone! 484 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:25,855 Queens unite! 485 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,235 Hi, everyone. 486 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,737 Um, listen, we need your help to reserve a park. 487 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,866 Wait, wait! For-- For children in need. 488 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,785 Yeah. Yeah. 489 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,328 So, everyone, get on your phones 490 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,996 and start reserving beaucoup slots 491 00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,249 at Smith Memorial Playground, and forward them over. 492 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,667 Yeah, you heard her! 493 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,502 If you wanna see these hip vibrations, 494 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,087 you better make them reservations. 495 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:51,673 We're a good team. So, shantay, you stay. 496 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,049 Okay. And, Jacob, you come. 497 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,051 You want to get off the stage? Yeah. 498 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,302 I feel like you should probably get off the stage. Thank you. 499 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,471 You should come on. 500 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,195 This isn't as sad as I thought. 501 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,698 Barbara, I'm not going back to your house. 502 00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,116 I know, I know. 503 00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:19,742 I came to apologize. 504 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,078 You were just trying to make sure that I felt included. 505 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,955 My mother was the same way, 506 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:26,457 always trying to make sure that everyone was happy. 507 00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:28,251 She sounds like a wonderful person. 508 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,795 She was the best. 509 00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:33,256 You know, on this day, everyone will always ask me about her, 510 00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:36,134 and they mean well, but it's the unexpected moments 511 00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:38,344 on random days. Yeah. 512 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:42,307 I don't need Mother's Day to remind me to love my mom. 513 00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:45,184 I can understand that. 514 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,020 The other day, I was in a funk. 515 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,940 And one of my students came up and made a funny face at me. 516 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,401 My mother used to do the same thing, 517 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:57,030 always reminding me not to take life too seriously. 518 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,740 I love that. 519 00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,200 And now, if you will excuse me, 520 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,829 I am going to swing a few home runs. 521 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,665 I'll leave you to it. 522 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,758 All I'm saying is I love bottomless mimosas. 523 00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,134 Why can't I be a part of the Brunch Squad? 524 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,177 Well, it's actually the Brunchy Bunch, 525 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,219 but you know what? 526 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,262 Next time you're coming, okay? 527 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,722 I told her to invite you. 528 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,599 Janine never ceases to disappoint. 529 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,062 Who is this? Hmm. 530 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:31,648 Oh, my God. Kevin Hart. 531 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,274 Kevin Hart? Oh, my God. 532 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,151 You doing Cameos now? Damn. 533 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,194 The game is crazy. 534 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,236 So, you're Janine Teagues? 535 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,947 Yeah. Yes. Okay. 536 00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,449 Why-- Why have you been harassing me on social media? 537 00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:45,370 Oh, um, so, I am so sorry about that, Mr. Hart. 538 00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:49,248 Um, it's just that I thought that maybe you were my dad. 539 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,875 Why would you think that? Yeah. 540 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,126 Why the hell would you think that? 541 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,795 Well, it's-- it's because, um, 542 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,463 you know, my mom, she said that you guys 543 00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:57,173 went to high school together, 544 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,925 and that you guys intercoursed each other. 545 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,552 {\an8}And, um, her name is Vanetta. You familiar? 546 00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:03,596 {\an8}Oh [bleep] Vanetta. Yeah. 547 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,557 {\an8}I promise you it wasn't me, 'cause I strap up. 548 00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,935 {\an8}Always have. So, unfollow me. Alright, will do. 549 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,269 {\an8}On everything. Sorry. 550 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,437 {\an8}Okay. Okay. 551 00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,189 {\an8}Oh [bleep] Mr. Johnson! 552 00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,191 Yeah. 553 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,901 {\an8}Great to see you again, my brother. 554 00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,655 {\an8}Yeah, Mr. Johnson also-- he works here with me. 555 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,240 {\an8}I don't want to talk to you. Oh, okay. Alright. 556 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,283 {\an8}I don't want to talk to you. Okay. Bye.