1 00:00:00,849 --> 00:00:04,570 Mrs. Simon, how does it feel to learn your son's our international thief? 2 00:00:04,930 --> 00:00:06,710 Tonight on Simon and Simon. 3 00:00:07,290 --> 00:00:11,770 Maybe this will finally put an end to this private detective foolishness. I'm 4 00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:13,970 gonna make you an offer which you cannot refuse. 5 00:00:14,490 --> 00:00:17,410 You got an agent? They made him blow a bugle for his uncle Sam. 6 00:00:17,770 --> 00:00:19,890 They really brought him down because he could not jam. 7 00:00:20,130 --> 00:00:23,310 AJ, we gotta get out of this place. If we stay here, something terrible's gonna 8 00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:24,310 happen. 9 00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:57,810 Well, what do you think? 10 00:03:58,950 --> 00:04:01,750 I think you must have been up for hours. What are you doing, restraining the 11 00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:02,750 patio? 12 00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:06,730 Yeah. Well, I promised to after Carlos spilled that jug of Don Diablo over 13 00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:07,730 and ate through to finish. 14 00:04:07,910 --> 00:04:09,450 That was in the Nixon administration. 15 00:04:12,050 --> 00:04:13,050 Carter, maybe. 16 00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:17,290 In any case, there have been dozens of broken promises in the years in between. 17 00:04:17,829 --> 00:04:20,450 I shouldn't complain. 18 00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:21,670 You shouldn't complain. 19 00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:23,250 You ought to get yourself dressed. 20 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:27,900 We got a 9 .30 appointment. Oh, come on, AJ. We need a day off. We need a payday 21 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:28,900 is what we need. 22 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,580 No, that's all right. I'll tell you what. If you want, I'll fly solo on this 23 00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:33,580 one. Okay. 24 00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:37,100 I'll just finish up on the porch here. Who's the client? 25 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:38,620 Oh. 26 00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:41,660 Who? 27 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,260 Allison Long, the movie star. 28 00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:46,800 She waited since Nick's making a little while longer. 29 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,080 Mm -hmm. 30 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:57,160 Oh, sorry to be late. I'm convinced they're the right men for the job. 31 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,880 Has Greg filled you in on all the sordid details? 32 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:05,420 Well, just that you need bonded couriers to hand carry some negotiable 33 00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:08,200 securities from here to a bank in Mexico City. 34 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,280 Well, 35 00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:13,180 Peter's been terribly nasty about it all. 36 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,360 And who's Peter? My fourth husband. 37 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:16,680 Fifth. 38 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:17,920 My fifth husband. 39 00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:20,540 You see, we've been going through this rather messy divorce. 40 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:25,280 As Allison's personal manager, I've counseled her to move certain negotiable 41 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:28,180 securities out of the country, at least till this is settled. 42 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,600 I think we can handle that. 43 00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:33,360 Well, there is one thing you should know. 44 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,780 Peter has made several threats. 45 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,680 And he's in a position to carry them out. 46 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:44,780 You see, his background is... Well, I... He comes from a well -known family. 47 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,080 Local? Vegas. 48 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,020 A well -known... 49 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:51,950 Vegas family. 50 00:05:52,570 --> 00:05:57,490 Well, I can't help it if I have this tendency to be attracted to men with a 51 00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,250 certain aura of danger. 52 00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:02,150 I've been in therapy for a long time. 53 00:06:02,370 --> 00:06:04,650 Really? I hope you're not a Scorpio. 54 00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:09,110 It's likely that some of his friends will try to stop you. 55 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,470 No problem. 56 00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:11,950 Well, then it's settled. 57 00:06:12,490 --> 00:06:16,210 You can pick up the documents this morning at Harding Cats Investment 58 00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:17,550 Okay. 59 00:06:17,719 --> 00:06:20,380 Wonderful. I feel so much better about all this now that I've met you. 60 00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:24,100 I hate to run, but I promised to donate my old wardrobe to an auction to raise 61 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:25,740 money for Jerry's kids. Oh, that's nice. 62 00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:29,580 You be sure to pay them generously. 63 00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:33,400 And I'll thank you personally when you return. Okay. 64 00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:37,840 You too. 65 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:53,560 Wow. I'm telling you, A .J., there is a notch on her bedpost with my name on it. 66 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:58,920 Rick, the woman is a renowned carnivore. She will exploit you for her own 67 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,340 pleasure. She will use you. 68 00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:06,400 We both just sign and date it here. 69 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:09,440 Mr. 70 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,180 Katz? Hey, Rose. 71 00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:21,010 Don't drink the water. 72 00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:23,530 Gracias. 73 00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:38,509 Hey, wait. 74 00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:42,170 I can take you there. You just meet us at the bank in about half an hour, Phil. 75 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:43,190 There you go. 76 00:07:57,219 --> 00:08:00,660 Yep. Black sedan, we got two to beat. Two plus two. 77 00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:48,200 Great. We'll just be a few minutes. 78 00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:51,060 Oh, boy. 79 00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:59,620 Now it's time to stop and ask them. 80 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,960 Dirección Federal de Seguridad. 81 00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:06,299 U .S. 82 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,920 Customs. U .S. Treasury. 83 00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,960 Richard and Andrew J. Simon, you're under arrest for transporting stolen 84 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,140 securities out of your country into Mexico. 85 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:22,160 Hey, hey, a couple hours, we'll be laughing about this. We got reputations 86 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:22,899 this town. 87 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,720 I know, that's what worries me. I'll let you know when we've got a serious 88 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,520 problem. I know when we've got a serious problem. It's generally about the time 89 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,560 you take a drink with somebody. All right, quiet down. 90 00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:32,980 Number three, step forward. 91 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:40,580 Turn to your right. 92 00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:44,540 Face us again. 93 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,610 Number four, step. Step forward. 94 00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:49,850 Put the hat on. 95 00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,150 Yes. 96 00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:58,890 That's them. 97 00:10:00,970 --> 00:10:01,970 I'm sure of it. 98 00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:24,100 Has anybody questioned Allison Long or Greg Paulson? There is no Greg Paulson. 99 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:27,760 What? And Allison Long has been in Morocco for three months working on a 100 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,180 picture. No, she hasn't. We were with her in Paulson's office. 101 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,040 She walked off the Tonight Show last night because of Joan Rivers. 102 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,240 Four months ago by the Mexican federal rally. 103 00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:39,180 The minute that they were taken, the suspect slipped through the net. 104 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,140 They never ID'd you until today. 105 00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:43,800 October 31st, Halloween. 106 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,660 AJ and I had tickets on the 40 -yard line for the Chargers -Redskins game. 107 00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:48,660 knew we were going. 108 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,160 Any witnesses who saw you there? 109 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,880 I'll prove it. Well, what do they have so far? 110 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,060 They know hundreds of thousands worth of securities were funneled out of 111 00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:57,280 Harding's and Katz by Mayrose. 112 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,580 We've got an APB out on him. They've been closing in on a gang for several 113 00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:01,319 months now. 114 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,460 Got close a couple times. 115 00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:05,100 The scam had to be really getting dangerous. 116 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,440 What about the others? 117 00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:09,340 As far as the feds are concerned, you are the others. Oh, that's absurd! 118 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,080 Your names were salted all through Mayrose's files. 119 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,060 Looks like you've been involved from the beginning. 120 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,680 He's trying to hang us. Yeah. 121 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,620 Oh, I don't think you'll get the death penalty. 122 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,180 20, 30 years tops. 123 00:11:23,580 --> 00:11:24,580 It's what you think. 124 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,480 Mom finds out about this, she's gonna kill us. 125 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:39,220 I almost had to mortgage the house again to raise bail this time. 126 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:41,660 Sorry, Mom. 127 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:43,960 Oh, if you'd become a lawyer, you wouldn't be sorry now. 128 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,240 Mom, we're innocent. 129 00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:50,930 Innocent? Oh, you found time to be innocent between your black bag jobs and 130 00:11:50,930 --> 00:11:51,930 shootouts? 131 00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:55,230 Sooner or later, something like this had to happen. 132 00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:58,630 I'm just glad you weren't found dead in some back alley. 133 00:12:00,910 --> 00:12:05,010 Maybe this will finally put an end to this private detective foolishness. 134 00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:07,490 How bad is it? 135 00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:10,130 Bad. 136 00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:17,630 Is there any reaction, any truth in the rumor that you've already started plea 137 00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:18,630 bargaining with the DA? 138 00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:23,050 Mrs. Simon, how does it feel to learn your sons are international thieves? 139 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:21,880 I just made my mistake. 140 00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:24,660 What is that supposed to mean? When have I... Hey, hey, hey, hey. Get easy. 141 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,200 You want some coffee? 142 00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:29,140 Yeah. 143 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,800 I've been squeezing the street. 144 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:35,560 Not only do our phony Allison Long and Greg Paulson yet. 145 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,100 They had to be recruited out of town. 146 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,620 Whoever's behind it played it all alone. No mob connections. 147 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,400 Still convinced of the revenge motive? 148 00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:49,660 That's the only thing that makes any sense, AJ. 149 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,420 You know, just look at the yellow paper. 150 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,840 Most of our enemies still have their mail delivered to state -owned 151 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:56,840 institutions. 152 00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:00,740 You realize, Rick, we could be sharing the zip code with some of them, and I 153 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:02,360 they'd be very little glad to see us again. 154 00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:08,400 Well, for the time being, I'm betting that our man or woman is on the outside, 155 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:13,480 and it had to be somebody who was capable of executing something this 156 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:18,320 complicated that narrows it down to three old cases that might come back to 157 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,320 haunt us. 158 00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:24,460 Helen... Well, 159 00:15:27,180 --> 00:15:28,660 if it isn't the Hardy Boys. 160 00:15:29,860 --> 00:15:32,140 Heard you got your butts in the federal fling. 161 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:37,100 Well, if you want any favors, you're on the wrong street corner. 162 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,400 Sounds bitter, Helen. 163 00:15:38,780 --> 00:15:39,900 Why shouldn't I be? 164 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,420 Somewhere there must be an honest career with dignity. 165 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,320 You want to know what my first job was when I got out of the slammer? 166 00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:49,700 Selling DeLorean car. 167 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,500 That's right. 168 00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:52,620 Yeah. 169 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,020 Then I got real lucky. 170 00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:56,480 Landed a job as a stewardess. 171 00:15:57,060 --> 00:15:58,300 Sounds dignified. 172 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,040 Branded. 173 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,500 Company folded. They fired everybody. 174 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,280 Oh, then there was some guy hanging around from Playboy, wanted all the ex 175 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,460 -stewards to pose naked. Call that dignity. 176 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,240 But then I got my big break. 177 00:16:10,460 --> 00:16:12,280 Went into marketing video games. 178 00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,460 I got a warehouse full of them. 179 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:19,640 And I almost got involved in the cultural channel on cable TV. 180 00:16:20,170 --> 00:16:23,990 Yeah, that folded, too, when the punk rock station bought it out. See what I'm 181 00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:25,490 saying? No dignity. 182 00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:29,550 There's only one thing worse than being straight, and you guys are going to find 183 00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,170 out about that real soon. 184 00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:33,010 Not sure I follow you. 185 00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:34,570 Not sure I want to. 186 00:16:35,030 --> 00:16:37,570 Ain't no dignity in prison, fellas. None. 187 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:42,530 Tough life, bad food, bad company. 188 00:16:42,810 --> 00:16:46,310 I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but, you know, I'm going to laugh every 189 00:16:46,310 --> 00:16:47,670 time I send you a postcard. 190 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,900 Oh, you bet. I'm bitter. 191 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,640 Eladio Sanchez, alias The Architect. 192 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,500 You wanted more from me, but it's an honorable way of life. 193 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:10,940 I'm also a run -of -the -mill career for cum laude graduate of Caltech. 194 00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:13,599 Well, I've always been interested in planting and... I know. 195 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,400 Very impressive. 196 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,890 Until you graduated and... Turned crime to finance your research? 197 00:17:21,829 --> 00:17:24,890 My research might have led to a solution of world hunger. 198 00:17:25,690 --> 00:17:29,130 And some of my colleagues thought I was a leading candidate for a Nobel Prize. 199 00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:33,190 Well, I guess we can't put a damper on your ticket to Stockholm. 200 00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:39,110 Yeah, well, now I watch the grass turn green and the flowers bloom. 201 00:17:40,050 --> 00:17:43,590 And as long as my parole continues, it's a good place to be until I can get my 202 00:17:43,590 --> 00:17:44,590 bearings. 203 00:17:44,670 --> 00:17:46,770 I don't want to make the same mistake twice. 204 00:17:47,350 --> 00:17:50,670 Some friends of ours are looking for a gardener, you know, in case she wants 205 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,950 more. Was arrested, do you recall? 206 00:17:53,370 --> 00:17:56,730 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do. 207 00:18:02,590 --> 00:18:03,730 Maxwell Maguire. 208 00:18:03,990 --> 00:18:05,030 Give me a chance to surrender. 209 00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:09,150 I was the one who chose to jump from the train. 210 00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:15,570 Some people wouldn't be so understanding about losing their sight, Max. 211 00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:21,010 I try not to think about that part of my life. The accident may have even been a 212 00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,010 blessing in disguise. 213 00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:28,270 It all changed for me one day when a sparrow flew through the bars of my 214 00:18:28,790 --> 00:18:31,110 And another, and another. 215 00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:34,990 Like Burt Lancaster in The Birdman of Alcatraz. 216 00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:38,570 They used to call me the Birdman of Lompoc. 217 00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:46,670 Oh, my goodness doodle, you're getting plump. 218 00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:53,210 We met some friends of yours. 219 00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:56,330 Greg Fulton, Allison Long. 220 00:18:56,550 --> 00:19:02,010 No, no, you must be mistaken. These little creatures... I am. I'm working on 221 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,010 now. 222 00:19:05,590 --> 00:19:11,010 I guess my old friends don't like guava. 223 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,520 I don't know what you expect to accomplish here, A .J. We have to check 224 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,520 everything, Rick. 225 00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:25,300 Oh, they were here after it was abandoned. We are the only ones who were 226 00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:27,620 before. So maybe we saw something. 227 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:32,600 Something that didn't register, but that means something. Okay? Now, come on. 228 00:19:32,740 --> 00:19:36,000 Okay. Okay, now look. We were sitting here talking to Paulson. He was at his 229 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:40,020 desk, right? All right. Look around her. Look behind her. What do you see? 230 00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,920 All right. 231 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,160 Let's see. 232 00:19:47,690 --> 00:19:51,050 Some abstract prints over here on the wall and over there. 233 00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:56,570 Some umbrella right here next to the door. Right, right. 234 00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:03,470 Over here, there's an old chrome statue of Bambi. Yeah, Bambi? A deer. 235 00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:07,170 A leather coat. There's no label on it or anything. We just want to keep things 236 00:20:07,170 --> 00:20:10,610 going. Okay, she came in. She came in. She came with Kitty. She wanted a drink. 237 00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:13,810 She wants a special Bloody Mary. He goes over to the bar. 238 00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:15,610 Wait, wait, wait. Hold it, hold it. 239 00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:16,890 What? 240 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,420 Yeah, there's a book of photographs. Ah, there was a photograph right here. 241 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:27,980 Yeah. Um, Paulson and Marilyn Monroe, she signed it. Something about their 242 00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:29,060 to the Oscars. Okay. 243 00:20:29,820 --> 00:20:32,020 Picture was taken in front of the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. 244 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,840 Isn't that where they always hold the Academy Awards? Yeah, now it is. But 245 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,780 Marilyn Monroe died, the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion hadn't been built yet. 246 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:43,400 So that picture had to have been taken with the double. 247 00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:50,300 Marilyn double, Allison double. No, no, no, no, no. This was... Alice, take a 248 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:51,300 ride after Holly, will you? 249 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,600 Yes, sir. My eight pounds, no matter what. I'll give you a million dollars 250 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,280 of talent for every store, okay? 251 00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:25,200 Let's do lunch and firm up the deal. Good. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 252 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,400 Bring a pair of those shoes, will you? Uh, 9D. 253 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,060 I gotta get some media with the merchandise we're selling, right? 254 00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:33,100 Okay, hey, ciao, love you. 255 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:37,960 Nice salad! 256 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,700 No, she don't work here anymore. 257 00:21:45,350 --> 00:21:48,230 And instead of a bum, which is what I am, I mean, let's face it, I am. 258 00:21:58,590 --> 00:22:04,110 I'm going to make you an offer which you cannot refuse. 259 00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:06,650 Steam room. 260 00:22:07,650 --> 00:22:13,390 And my streetcar broke all BO records in a Pease Crossing, Louisiana, dinner 261 00:22:13,390 --> 00:22:16,240 theater. I mean, people always told me I look so good. 262 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,240 Go home, kiddo. Go be a cop. 263 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,300 No, wait a minute, Mr. Blander. You don't understand. Look it, look it, look 264 00:22:21,580 --> 00:22:23,380 I'm down on my last 20 bucks here. 265 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:29,590 Brando. Brando. That's it. Tom and Brando. Yeah. I'm telling you, it's 266 00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:30,489 Isn't it? 267 00:22:30,490 --> 00:22:32,830 The resemblance, the way it creeps up and grabs. 268 00:22:33,030 --> 00:22:35,610 Something to do with the jawline here, you know, when it glances up. 269 00:22:36,010 --> 00:22:37,870 Turn to the light a little bit. Oh, gee. 270 00:22:38,410 --> 00:22:41,850 I'm in the right light. It gives me the willies. It gives me the creeps. Hey, 271 00:22:41,970 --> 00:22:43,610 you got an agent, Kenneth? No, I don't. Congratulations. 272 00:22:43,970 --> 00:22:48,410 You got one. My handshake is my contract. I got to get some videotape on 273 00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:48,729 my file. 274 00:22:48,730 --> 00:22:51,530 Come on. Come into the video. Is this what they call a screen test? There's 275 00:22:51,530 --> 00:22:56,770 something that you got to hit it. Get some good dome on you. Because I've 276 00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:59,000 performed. Leftover. from yesterday's Queen Elizabeth audition. 277 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,240 Just throw it anywhere. Okay. 278 00:23:00,820 --> 00:23:03,640 Here's your mark. This is called a mark. Stand right there and don't move. 279 00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:07,800 You are perfect. All right. All right. Okay. I can hardly wait. Let's go. 280 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:14,160 Well, right now, just give me that great Brando pow, okay? All right. Go down. 281 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,180 Hit your mark. Okay, give me another pow. Give me a Brando pow. Yeah. That's 282 00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:19,480 great. That's great. 283 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,020 Okay. Ratchet on. 284 00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:22,220 Good. 285 00:23:22,260 --> 00:23:23,260 Ratchet on. 286 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:24,499 It's frightening. 287 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:26,140 What? You are better than the original. 288 00:23:26,570 --> 00:23:27,570 I got a big win in here. 289 00:23:29,670 --> 00:23:33,330 You sure 290 00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:40,410 this 291 00:23:40,410 --> 00:23:41,410 is the right address? 292 00:23:41,490 --> 00:23:42,249 What's this? 293 00:23:42,250 --> 00:23:43,250 And massage. 294 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:44,490 Emporium. 295 00:23:45,070 --> 00:23:46,070 Okay. 296 00:23:48,090 --> 00:23:49,130 Well, hi, fella. 297 00:23:51,010 --> 00:23:54,530 Did anybody ever tell you you look just like a... No, no, wait. Let me guess. 298 00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:56,890 Um... Cary Grant, right? 299 00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,490 No, no, no, no, wait. 300 00:24:00,310 --> 00:24:03,430 Oh, I saw her on TV just the other day. 301 00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,730 She giggles a lot, right? 302 00:24:07,670 --> 00:24:08,770 I give up. 303 00:24:11,670 --> 00:24:12,670 Goldie, hold on. 304 00:24:14,950 --> 00:24:15,950 Come on in. 305 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,560 Just stumble onto the home for wayward celebrity pebbles. 306 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:29,760 That's right. 307 00:24:34,020 --> 00:24:36,540 All right, ladies. All right, ladies. Let them breathe. 308 00:24:36,820 --> 00:24:39,880 Let them breathe. Let them. Let's get out of here. Charlie, let them breathe. 309 00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:41,060 Let them breathe. 310 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,720 Well, no wonder they're so excited. 311 00:24:44,340 --> 00:24:48,700 Well, actually, we were hoping to find an Alison Long type. 312 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,880 The Alison Long type. Well, that's like Chinese food. An hour later, you're 313 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:53,880 still hungry. 314 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:55,920 I hate to see a man go hungry. 315 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,980 Yeah, but we heard that you did have a... Yes, we did. She was very popular, 316 00:24:59,980 --> 00:25:03,220 she left us a month or so ago. Okay, now, what about Marilyn Monroe? See, I 317 00:25:03,220 --> 00:25:05,460 always want to meet Marilyn. Marilyn's tied up right now. 318 00:25:05,660 --> 00:25:09,800 But if I say so myself, you look more the Dolly Parton type. 319 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,820 I do? Yes, you do. And for a slight extra fee, I will throw in Barbara 320 00:25:13,820 --> 00:25:17,480 Streisand's double, and they will do a duet that you will never forget. 321 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:19,800 Uh, 322 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,320 uh, just... 323 00:25:23,469 --> 00:25:24,910 Curiosity, what are your rates? 324 00:25:25,210 --> 00:25:29,290 Special on our Joan Collins double, $449 .95. 325 00:25:29,610 --> 00:25:30,990 But you've got to take her as is. 326 00:25:31,890 --> 00:25:36,030 Look, really, all we want is we want to talk to the Alison Long double. Would 327 00:25:36,030 --> 00:25:38,290 you happen to know where we could find her? Wait a second. What is this? You 328 00:25:38,290 --> 00:25:39,290 guys cops or something? 329 00:25:40,850 --> 00:25:41,850 Hey. 330 00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:44,530 Hey. Hey, come back here. 331 00:25:44,790 --> 00:25:46,010 Stop them, boys. Stop them. 332 00:25:48,210 --> 00:25:51,890 Hey, did anybody ever tell you that you look exactly like... 333 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,780 I don't have time for this, man. 334 00:26:32,220 --> 00:26:34,280 Don't you understand what it means to be out on bail? 335 00:26:34,540 --> 00:26:37,200 There are all kinds of restrictions. You guys have broken every one of them in 336 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,200 less than 24 hours. 337 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:39,700 Well, 338 00:26:40,980 --> 00:26:43,340 he didn't report to his parole officer yesterday and his place is deserted. 339 00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:46,740 Well, that means he took off as soon as he realized we suspected him. 340 00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:49,840 My Maryland double wasn't any help. She thought the whole thing was a gag. 341 00:26:50,700 --> 00:26:52,360 Well, he's probably out of the country by now. 342 00:26:52,700 --> 00:26:53,700 Yep. 343 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,000 Mexico. 344 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,460 Esquinappa. Are you sure? 345 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,660 No. Well, that's where he was living when he was working out his principal 346 00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:01,660 cytogenetic. 347 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,340 Well, I read his research paper. 348 00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:05,780 Go down ourselves. 349 00:27:06,540 --> 00:27:07,780 What is that Jetson is saying? 350 00:27:08,340 --> 00:27:10,940 You're talking about sneaking out of the country, man. Fugitives from Jetson. 351 00:27:10,980 --> 00:27:12,420 Your mother could force it all to bail money. 352 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,180 Town, it's the only way. 353 00:27:14,460 --> 00:27:15,460 It is no way. 354 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,940 And even if you found him there, you couldn't do anything to him? There's 355 00:27:18,940 --> 00:27:20,080 nothing to hold him on yet. 356 00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:21,500 No, you can't hold him. 357 00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:24,660 Officially, we can. We can hold him upside down and shake him until 358 00:27:24,660 --> 00:27:25,660 falls out of his pocket. 359 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,640 As your friend, I'm telling you, you're dead wrong on this. Some protection. 360 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:33,400 Try me. 361 00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:41,540 I can barely hear you. 362 00:27:43,380 --> 00:27:44,740 Operator, this is a terrible connection. 363 00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:47,400 Yes, are you sure? 364 00:27:50,260 --> 00:27:52,500 It's Bette. Two men were there, the same ones. 365 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:53,820 They know I'm with you. 366 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,080 But she said she didn't tell them we were down here. 367 00:27:56,580 --> 00:27:57,580 Yes, Bette. 368 00:27:58,400 --> 00:27:59,420 I'm glad you called. 369 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,200 I'll be in touch. 370 00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:04,380 I don't think anyone can find us down here. 371 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:05,760 I underestimated them once. 372 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,360 And they hung me up to twist slowly in the wind for the world to see. They'd 373 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:13,600 never leave the country while they're out on bail. They'd be crazy to risk 374 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:15,840 Maybe. 375 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,060 But I'd feel better with some additional help. 376 00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:22,000 I don't think we should bring in anyone new. 377 00:28:24,420 --> 00:28:26,020 Should be someone we can trust. 378 00:28:26,980 --> 00:28:28,640 Someone you've worked with before. 379 00:28:29,740 --> 00:28:30,740 You're right. 380 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,260 You're not seriously considering going down there yourselves. 381 00:28:37,820 --> 00:28:38,820 Will you? 382 00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:43,020 Are you asking me to approve? 383 00:29:30,220 --> 00:29:31,600 Take care of AJ, you old nut. 384 00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:36,100 What are you doing? 385 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:38,480 Why are you up? 386 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:39,880 I heard you come in. 387 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,780 AJ, I have a better shot alone. 388 00:29:49,140 --> 00:29:52,240 Don't let Mom worry. I'll be in touch as soon as I know something. 389 00:29:52,660 --> 00:29:53,660 You... 390 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:00,220 You were going to leave me here? All right, now look, it's the smartest thing 391 00:30:00,220 --> 00:30:03,480 do. The two of us together makes it too easy for town. Now, I can make it on my 392 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,220 own. Big bravado move by the older brother. 393 00:30:06,420 --> 00:30:09,640 Forget it. Take the back way in there. Forget it. I am going. 394 00:30:10,020 --> 00:30:11,440 Damn it, A .J. 395 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:15,080 Mom was right. 396 00:30:16,740 --> 00:30:19,040 You couldn't survive on the run. I can if I have to. 397 00:30:23,980 --> 00:30:27,080 I'm going to assume that all this is because you are suffering from utter 398 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:28,560 exhaustion and you shut up! 399 00:30:33,420 --> 00:30:36,400 If you want to go it on your own after we play out this hand, that's fine. 400 00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:40,640 But my neck is on the block here too and I am going down to Esquanapa whether 401 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:41,640 you like it or not. 402 00:31:22,139 --> 00:31:23,940 Hi. Is he still following us? 403 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:26,600 Still following us. 404 00:31:28,140 --> 00:31:29,920 Hey, the school bus. 405 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,260 Okay, we've got him right where we want him. 406 00:31:37,460 --> 00:31:38,460 Right on our tails. 407 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,300 Yeah, but his confidence is up. I can understand why. 408 00:31:41,540 --> 00:31:42,740 We're going to take him, Rick. 409 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,300 A little help from Carlos' car wash. 410 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:56,920 They found us. 411 00:32:57,140 --> 00:32:58,180 There's nothing to worry about. 412 00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,000 I had them under surveillance since the end of the time this morning. 413 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:02,520 We're ready for them. 414 00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:16,900 They're here. 415 00:33:17,220 --> 00:33:19,980 They just came over the north wall. You can intercept in the front room. 416 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,320 Are you sure you have the right costumes on? 417 00:33:23,180 --> 00:33:24,180 Good. 418 00:34:04,430 --> 00:34:05,630 I can't go through with this. 419 00:34:07,250 --> 00:34:09,090 I wish they'd hear something terrible's gonna happen. 420 00:34:09,590 --> 00:34:10,590 Rick. 421 00:34:15,110 --> 00:34:16,110 It's locked. 422 00:34:18,449 --> 00:34:20,389 And as we're here, we don't know how to try it now. 423 00:35:54,380 --> 00:35:55,380 AJ! 424 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,440 All right, just relax. You're going to be all right. 425 00:37:32,180 --> 00:37:34,120 You're going to be okay. Just check out. 426 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:35,680 I had a shot at him. 427 00:37:35,940 --> 00:37:37,240 Well, why didn't you shoot him? 428 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:38,760 I don't know. 429 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:41,240 Well, 430 00:37:46,980 --> 00:37:49,500 don't forget I owe you one. Anytime, anytime. 431 00:37:49,780 --> 00:37:53,200 One hand or not. Oh, Rick, don't be in such a hurry. I want to say something 432 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:54,220 before we begin. 433 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,860 We've come through a very difficult time. 434 00:37:57,710 --> 00:38:02,890 And we've had some harsh words. Now, Mom, no need to apologize. I have no 435 00:38:02,890 --> 00:38:05,630 intention of apologizing. None of this would have happened if you weren't 436 00:38:05,630 --> 00:38:06,630 private investigators. 437 00:38:07,930 --> 00:38:13,370 But I've been thinking, and I realize that you two are doing what you want to 438 00:38:13,370 --> 00:38:16,910 life. And if that's what you want, that's what I want, too. 439 00:38:18,070 --> 00:38:22,030 So, I think the occasion calls for a toast. 440 00:38:24,050 --> 00:38:26,990 I feel very, very lucky. 441 00:38:27,550 --> 00:38:30,030 that I'm sharing supper with my family tonight. 442 00:38:30,910 --> 00:38:34,130 Safe, happy, together. 443 00:38:35,610 --> 00:38:36,850 Hear, hear, hear, hear.