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- Hello ladies, ladies, and others,

2
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and thank you all for coming tonight to

3
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The Bigg Club, where men meet boys.

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It's spelled M-E-A-T,

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that's an auditory pun people,

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and yes, the management makes me do it every time.

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- Bring on the boys.

8
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- Yes, yes, sweetheart, any moment now.

9
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Aren't you feisty?

10
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You're exactly how I like my men,

11
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drunk and desperate.

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Come talk to me after the show next time, why don't ya?

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The name's Pinata Debris,

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and I am pleased to welcome to the stage, Joey and Matt.

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(hip hop music)

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♪ Get fucked up yeah ♪

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♪ Repoke to the next loco yo ♪

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♪ Put your hands up yeah ♪

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♪ Baby that's the stuff, that's the stuff ♪

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♪ And we in the club ♪

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♪ That's that ass and all the club ♪

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♪ Call us in we break the seal ♪

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♪ Hear about pop while the ladies drop ♪

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♪ Lose control while we in the zone ♪

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♪ Fellas take a glance while the ladies dance ♪

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♪ Put your hands high, say I'm fly ♪

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♪ We fly tonight, we get it right ♪

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♪ We livin' life ♪

29
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♪ It's all at night ♪

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♪ We get it right, we live it like ♪

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♪ I don't want to think I just want to drink ♪

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♪ Forget about it forget about it ♪

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♪ I don't want to think I just want to drink ♪

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♪ Forget about it forget about it ♪

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(lyrics muffled)

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♪ Tell me things tell me things ♪

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♪ You tell me, we do the damn thing ♪

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♪ Drop bottles till we piss champagne ♪

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♪ Forget your worries forget your pain ♪

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♪ Gonna stay till the party ends ♪

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♪ All I need is a bottle and some friends ♪

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♪ Show starts when I walk in ♪

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♪ It's all at night, we get it right ♪

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♪ We livin' life ♪

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♪ It's all at night, we get it right ♪

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♪ We livin' life ♪

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♪ I don't want to think I just want to drink ♪

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♪ Forget about it forget about it ♪

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♪ I don't want to think I just want to drink ♪

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♪ Forget about it forget about it ♪

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♪ This drink is strong, your ass is wrong ♪

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♪ And I'm a take you home ♪

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♪ But now we digging cup ♪

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♪ Blood where your body sunk ♪

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♪ And the way these speakers ♪

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♪ It's all at night, we get it right ♪

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♪ We livin' life ♪

58
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♪ It's all at night, we get it right ♪

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♪ We livin' life ♪

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♪ I don't want to think I just want to drink ♪

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♪ Forget about it, forget about it ♪

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♪ I don't want to think I just want to drink ♪

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♪ Forget about, it forget about it ♪

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♪ I don't want to think I just want to drink ♪

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♪ Forget about it, forget about it ♪

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♪ I don't want to think I just want to drink ♪

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♪ Forget about it, forget about it ♪

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- Hey Chuck, what's you doing?

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- Just watching the show.

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- You never watch the other guys.

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- Yeah well, tonight I am.

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- You like girls.

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Like me.

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- You ain't a girl.

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- How dare you?

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Well you weren't so picky

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while I was sucking you off last fortnight.

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I would report you to HR for sexual harassment

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and misgendering me,

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if there were such a thing as HR in this dump of a place.

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- Look,

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buzz off.

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I'm waiting to see something here.

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- Fine, but don't say I never blew nothin' for ya.

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(upbeat jazz music)

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- Hi Matt.

87
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- Hi ya Clive.

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Now you know I said the cute ones don't have to tip.

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- Ah, you're so nice.

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You're so much nicer than the other dancers.

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- I don't know that that's true.

92
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- I think it's true.

93
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The other guys don't have the same spark as you.

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- Thanks.

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You know what Clive?

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I think you should go home.

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- Go home?

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It's not even midnight.

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- Yes, but believe me, it's pumpkin time for you.

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Trust me, go, now,

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and you'll see why tomorrow.

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- All right, if you say so Matt.

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- I do.

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Here.

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- All right, I'll go, I'll go.

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Night night.

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- Night night, termite.

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(snorting)

109
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,510
- God Danny, are you doing coke again?

110
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What is this, 1986?

111
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- What do you want, Pinata?

112
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- I was just gonna say it's my birthday next month,

113
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and I was wondering if I could have

114
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a special birthday show here?

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- Special birthday show?

116
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Like what?

117
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- You know, like singing, dancing.

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- No, girl, when people come to Bigg's

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we offer them one thing,

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hot guys in nothing but jock straps.

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- But I can offer them magic and illusion.

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- Face it kid, the slogan here is where men meet--

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- Where men meet boys, I know.

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- You're not a man.

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You're not a boy.

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- I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.

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- Exactly, you're a fine host,

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but you're not the selling point.

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People come here to see hot guys,

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that's the meal.

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Anything else, like you, is garnish.

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- How dare you?

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Are you calling me parsley?

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- If the herb fits.

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(upbeat jazz music)

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- Everybody freeze.

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- Hello gentlemen, and others.

138
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- You know Pinata, that joke never worked.

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Ladies, ladies, and others?

140
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All that's left is men,

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and I have had enough of men.

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Now, in case you haven't figured this out yet,

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this is a motherfuckin' robbery.

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Our associate Chuck's gonna go around the room,

145
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like we do when we're dancing here,

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but, instead of giving us your money,

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you're gonna give us your clothes.

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Put 'em in the bag, wallets, cell phones, everything.

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You first.

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(upbeat jazz music)

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- Police department, this is Vargas.

152
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If it's not homicide, I'm not interested.

153
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That's dangerous.

154
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A robbery you say?

155
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Armed?

156
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I see, now you're talking my language.

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The heat of battle, the smell of the flintlock,

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this is where men are forged.

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None of this light felony, foo foo,

160
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hypno skeleton bullshit.

161
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I'm talking the rage of battle,

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the heat of a thousand suns.

163
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What was that?

164
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Hostages?

165
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Sorry, I was in the middle of a sexual fantasy.

166
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Where was this again?

167
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Strip club?

168
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Sweet luscious tits of innocence.

169
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Those hardworking girls never hurt anybody.

170
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Why they are merely providing a public good,

171
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and to take advantage of that is truly a heinous act of--

172
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What?

173
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What do you mean they're not girls,

174
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you said this was a strip club.

175
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I see, no no, there's nothing wrong with

176
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doing things the gay way.

177
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As an ass man myself,

178
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I can appreciate the appreciation.

179
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Two luscious hunks of ham,

180
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squeezed together over a forbidden point of entry.

181
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It's enough to make the mind wander.

182
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In fact, it reminds me--

183
00:10:51,861 --> 00:10:54,173
Huh? How many hostages?

184
00:10:56,690 --> 00:11:01,140
Um, I think I'd better transfer your call to dispatch,

185
00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:02,860
there may be a closer car,

186
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:06,130
and in these times of ass-driven violence,

187
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time is of the essence.

188
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Hold please.

189
00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:15,390
Now it's time to go hide in the bathroom

190
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and forget this ever happened.

191
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Ain't no way I'm gonna get my clothes

192
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:22,060
covered in the stench of blood and cum,

193
00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:24,933
for the second time tonight.

194
00:11:30,307 --> 00:11:31,757
- [Dispatcher] Six six henry.

195
00:11:35,741 --> 00:11:36,574
- You know Rod,

196
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:41,020
there comes a time in every little girl's life,

197
00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:43,430
when she dreams about her wedding day.

198
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:45,560
- In this hypothetical, am I the little girl?

199
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:48,220
- No, no Rod, I am the little girl.

200
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:49,760
You are the little boy.

201
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,200
This is our little wedding.

202
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,053
- Oh.

203
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,930
- It's time we get hitched.

204
00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:55,763
- Huh?

205
00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:58,010
- [Dispatcher] All cars in the immediate area,

206
00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:00,610
we have a 211 in progress at the Bigg Club.

207
00:12:00,610 --> 00:12:02,020
- Oh, I know where that is.

208
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:04,510
Take a right on Washington, and a left on Empire.

209
00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:06,410
- Good, this is why I keep you around.

210
00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:08,903
Now, let's go mow down some faggots motherfucker.

211
00:12:13,930 --> 00:12:14,943
- What's going on?

212
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:22,633
- Look, it's our erstwhile boss, Danny.

213
00:12:24,030 --> 00:12:25,300
For years we've been working for him,

214
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:27,410
and not only has he been not paying us a living wage,

215
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:30,630
he's been skimming our tips for his cocaine habit.

216
00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:31,890
Haven't you, Danny?

217
00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:32,829
- How do you know?

218
00:12:32,829 --> 00:12:33,662
(sniffing)

219
00:12:33,662 --> 00:12:35,493
No, no of course not.

220
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,260
- Well Danny, I think you should

221
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:40,410
put on a little show for your patrons.

222
00:12:40,410 --> 00:12:42,030
You've always been backstage,

223
00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:44,300
now it's your turn in the spotlight.

224
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,180
Up on the stage, strip.

225
00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:48,140
- What? Are you kidding me?

226
00:13:00,764 --> 00:13:01,597
- Twerk.

227
00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:07,773
Charleston.

228
00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:12,843
Macarena.

229
00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:18,835
(sirens approaching)

230
00:13:18,835 --> 00:13:20,304
- Copper cops,

231
00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:21,270
copper cops.

232
00:13:21,270 --> 00:13:22,188
- Shit.

233
00:13:22,188 --> 00:13:23,110
How are we doing?

234
00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:25,233
- That's everyone's shit, let's blow.

235
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:28,534
- Out of the way.

236
00:13:28,534 --> 00:13:29,814
- Freeze.

237
00:13:29,814 --> 00:13:32,884
(gun firing)

238
00:13:32,884 --> 00:13:33,717
- Hey!

239
00:13:40,184 --> 00:13:41,580
- You won't get away with this.

240
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,200
- I kinda think we will.

241
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,610
What's your name, handsome?

242
00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:46,283
- Rod, it's Rod.

243
00:13:48,166 --> 00:13:49,480
- Oh, that was a good one.

244
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,263
You're coming with us, Rod.

245
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:53,963
- Someone stop them!

246
00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:58,307
- You have the right to remain silent.

247
00:13:58,307 --> 00:14:00,207
- Oh look at me, I'm a police officer.

248
00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:09,497
- Chuck!

249
00:14:09,497 --> 00:14:10,360
Take me with you.

250
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,710
I love you.

251
00:14:11,710 --> 00:14:13,870
- Can't babe, sorry.

252
00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:14,720
Nothing personal.

253
00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:21,660
- Get off of me, I am going to get those brazen, faggots,

254
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:26,104
if it is the last thing that I do.

255
00:14:26,104 --> 00:14:27,271
Motherfuckers!

256
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:33,024
♪ I'm on a fucked up fruitless mission ♪

257
00:14:33,024 --> 00:14:36,086
♪ I'm not thinking I'm going to jail ♪

258
00:14:36,086 --> 00:14:39,526
♪ But bad luck never fails ♪

259
00:14:39,526 --> 00:14:42,764
♪ It's got be dropped on my tail ♪

260
00:14:42,764 --> 00:14:46,764
♪ Would you please post my bail ♪

261
00:14:59,093 --> 00:15:02,374
♪ This is it no turning back ♪

262
00:15:02,374 --> 00:15:05,614
♪ Got a monkey on my back ♪

263
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:08,822
♪ He's got a hair across his eye ♪

264
00:15:08,822 --> 00:15:12,153
♪ About to fall on my glass ♪

265
00:15:12,153 --> 00:15:15,353
♪ I'm not thinking I'm going to jail ♪

266
00:15:15,353 --> 00:15:18,936
♪ But bad luck never fails ♪

267
00:15:19,894 --> 00:15:21,650
- I understand, you think it's fun and games,

268
00:15:21,650 --> 00:15:23,550
this kidnapping a cap.

269
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:24,973
It does happen once a week.

270
00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:27,613
Stop it.

271
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,523
I have to pay for that badge.

272
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,590
- When's the next turn?

273
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,273
- It's coming up in two miles.

274
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,770
- Here that Tulula?

275
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:40,720
We're almost there.

276
00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:43,650
- Straight men and their cars.

277
00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:45,010
I'll never understand it.

278
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,290
- Where are you taking me?

279
00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,400
Stop trying to take off my shirt.

280
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,450
- We are headed to Chuck's old frat house,

281
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,303
aren't we Chuck?

282
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,520
- Delta Iota Kappa.

283
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,130
- Yeah, remember dudes,

284
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,700
you can't blow up my spot.

285
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,250
I'm so respected there.

286
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,220
I'm a brother, proud Delta.

287
00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:04,163
- Yeah, yeah, you told us.

288
00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:07,420
- Chuck, what's it like in a frat house anyway?

289
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,280
I've heard stories.

290
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,910
- Probably not as entertaining as we think.

291
00:16:12,910 --> 00:16:13,743
- Or hope.

292
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,060
- No, it was great.

293
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:18,841
Got all the pussy I wanted when I was a Delta.

294
00:16:18,841 --> 00:16:21,570
- Gross, pussy's gross.

295
00:16:21,570 --> 00:16:22,403
Right Rod?

296
00:16:22,403 --> 00:16:23,283
- Stop it.

297
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,280
Stop it, stop it.

298
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,780
- You know, I like that you don't shave your chest Rod.

299
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:33,780
I always say manscaping is a crime against real men.

300
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,660
- I always say manscaping is for heteros.

301
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,580
Women like smooth men.

302
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,500
Real men like real men.

303
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,500
- You know what we mean, Rod?

304
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,483
- Stop it, stop it.

305
00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:48,470
- Hey, hey, hey, those are my pants.

306
00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:50,200
- Quiet Rod, or I will have to gag you.

307
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,223
- Do it anyway, I'm tired of his whining.

308
00:16:56,199 --> 00:16:58,607
- Things like that.

309
00:16:58,607 --> 00:17:00,120
- You know, I watched this documentary

310
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,700
about fraternity life.

311
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:03,623
It was quite eye-opening.

312
00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:06,070
- Yeah, what was it called?

313
00:17:06,070 --> 00:17:08,959
- Frat Fuckhouse Volume 17.

314
00:17:08,959 --> 00:17:10,320
- 17?

315
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,240
- Yeah, I hadn't seen one through 16,

316
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,750
but you could follow the story pretty easily.

317
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,823
It was mostly butt sex.

318
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,213
- I'm serious you guys.

319
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:21,298
I don't want anyone at the frat

320
00:17:21,298 --> 00:17:23,630
to know what we're doing there.

321
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:24,850
- You mean you don't want them knowing

322
00:17:24,850 --> 00:17:26,630
what you do for a living?

323
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:28,533
Shaking those cakes for thirsty men?

324
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:30,783
- That too.

325
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,140
We're just gonna get in there,

326
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,670
get the diamonds and the plane vouchers,

327
00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:36,790
and we are on our way to Hawaii.

328
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:37,940
- Fun in the sun.

329
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:40,390
- I can't wait to make out with you on the beach.

330
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:48,380
Why are we stopping?

331
00:17:48,380 --> 00:17:50,190
- [Chuck] We need gas.

332
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:52,090
- [Matt] Great, okay you stay here with Rod

333
00:17:52,090 --> 00:17:52,923
so that he doesn't get away,

334
00:17:52,923 --> 00:17:54,950
and we're gonna go in and get some snacks.

335
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:08,070
- Uh, hi.

336
00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:10,570
- Hi, Carol, is it?

337
00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:13,090
- Yeah, how did you know?

338
00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:14,520
- Your name tag, Carol.

339
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:18,233
- Oh, of course, how inane of me.

340
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,760
- Hey you see our friend outside gassing up our car?

341
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:31,203
- Yes, he is also not wearing a shirt.

342
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,943
- You're very astute, Carol.

343
00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:37,850
- Hey Joey, you want a soft drink?

344
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,323
- Naw man, I don't like nothin' soft.

345
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:43,733
Look Carol, can I call you sometime?

346
00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:45,973
- Why?

347
00:18:45,973 --> 00:18:47,170
- Who knows?

348
00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:48,420
Live a little.

349
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,679
If you're shy, you can call me.

350
00:18:50,679 --> 00:18:52,853
Give me your cell phone and I'll put in my number.

351
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:06,820
- You want all of this?

352
00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:08,310
- Well my grandmother always says,

353
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:09,520
it's better to have it and not need it,

354
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,280
than to need it and not have it.

355
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,800
You never know when a Twinkie will come in handy.

356
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:14,900
- I guess that's true.

357
00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:17,810
- Don't call right away.

358
00:19:17,810 --> 00:19:19,410
Desperation is never attractive.

359
00:19:21,150 --> 00:19:22,060
- Let me ring you up.

360
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,910
- I'm afraid that won't be necessary.

361
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:26,920
- Damn it.

362
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,823
Your criminals, on the lam?

363
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,130
- 'Fraid so, Carol.

364
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:33,007
- Can I come with you?

365
00:19:33,007 --> 00:19:34,903
I'm really handy to have around.

366
00:19:36,422 --> 00:19:37,960
- Oh Carol, come here.

367
00:19:55,442 --> 00:19:57,025
- Oh what the heck?

368
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,123
- Sorry hon.

369
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,157
- Well you don't have to rub it in.

370
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:30,180
- And then they made me strip down in front of everyone,

371
00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:31,490
pants down,

372
00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:32,720
underpants down,

373
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,970
everything.

374
00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:34,940
- Yes, I understand.

375
00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:38,750
- I mean everyone saw my schmeckle.

376
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:40,350
- Yes I know, I was there.

377
00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:41,183
I saw it too.

378
00:20:41,183 --> 00:20:42,610
- Oh my God.

379
00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:45,200
- Now, you brought the surveillance footage with you.

380
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,033
- Yes.

381
00:20:46,033 --> 00:20:46,866
Here.

382
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:51,030
When Joey pantsed me up there,

383
00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:54,480
that was the most humiliating moment of my life.

384
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,800
- Yes, I'm sure.

385
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,250
Lester stop, stop bandaging me,

386
00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:00,010
and put this on the big screen.

387
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:01,780
- But your arm?

388
00:21:01,780 --> 00:21:04,390
- It can wait, Officer Pence is in trouble.

389
00:21:04,390 --> 00:21:05,514
- Yes, ma'am.

390
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:06,597
Sorry, ma'am.

391
00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:14,950
- All right, fast forward,

392
00:21:14,950 --> 00:21:18,030
we need about 11:30, that's when it all went down, right?

393
00:21:18,030 --> 00:21:18,863
- Right?

394
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,233
- Nope, too late, that's me, go back.

395
00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:32,723
- That's them there, that's Joey, and Matt.

396
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:34,800
- Lovers?

397
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:35,780
- I think so.

398
00:21:35,780 --> 00:21:36,613
- You think so?

399
00:21:36,613 --> 00:21:38,760
- Well, they're not exactly monogamous,

400
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,350
but I think they hump on a regular basis.

401
00:21:41,350 --> 00:21:42,183
- Interesting.

402
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,453
- Then there's the third one, that's Chuck.

403
00:21:45,453 --> 00:21:46,610
- And who's he fucking?

404
00:21:46,610 --> 00:21:49,160
- I don't know, I think he's mostly straight.

405
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,750
- Mostly straight?

406
00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:51,680
What does that mean?

407
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,760
- Well, I mean, I don't go for guys myself,

408
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:58,020
but in the dark I'll catch a gray, you know what I mean?

409
00:21:58,020 --> 00:21:59,360
- No.

410
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:00,570
- As Gertrude Stein said,

411
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:02,533
a mouth is a mouth is a mouth.

412
00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:05,340
- Gertrude Stein.

413
00:22:05,340 --> 00:22:06,173
- What I'm trying to say is,

414
00:22:06,173 --> 00:22:08,206
getting your dick wet is getting your dick wet.

415
00:22:08,206 --> 00:22:09,194
- Oh.

416
00:22:09,194 --> 00:22:12,240
- All right, enough of the crap, pay attention.

417
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,440
- Oh God that's me, turn it off, turn it off.

418
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,630
- Yeah Lester, shut it down.

419
00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:16,873
- I'm trying.

420
00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:21,270
- Oh my God.

421
00:22:21,270 --> 00:22:23,143
- Sorry, I'm sorry.

422
00:22:25,380 --> 00:22:27,377
- Hey Joann, I have the--

423
00:22:28,530 --> 00:22:30,163
Oh my God.

424
00:22:33,190 --> 00:22:35,910
Oh, I'm sorry.

425
00:22:35,910 --> 00:22:37,103
I'll be back later.

426
00:22:39,448 --> 00:22:40,957
- I got lunch for everyone and--

427
00:22:43,890 --> 00:22:46,300
God I hope he's a grower.

428
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:47,760
- You can stop bawling,

429
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:48,760
it's not that small.

430
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,850
- Maybe we should have called before?

431
00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:17,800
- No it's all good.

432
00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:19,653
I'm a brother here,

433
00:23:19,653 --> 00:23:22,120
and we brothers have to offer each other hospitality.

434
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:23,240
It's in our code.

435
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,073
- Wait a minute.

436
00:23:26,516 --> 00:23:27,473
A little conspicuous don't you think?

437
00:23:27,473 --> 00:23:29,913
- It's okay, I made one.

438
00:23:31,850 --> 00:23:32,683
Here, handsome.

439
00:23:34,860 --> 00:23:36,153
It matches your eyes.

440
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,703
- Hey, brother Chuck.

441
00:23:54,335 --> 00:23:55,168
Deltas!

442
00:23:55,168 --> 00:23:57,080
- In the flesh, brother Hunter.

443
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,990
Wanted to come by for a quick visit to the old house,

444
00:23:58,990 --> 00:24:00,620
show it off to my new friends.

445
00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:01,453
You mind?

446
00:24:01,453 --> 00:24:02,286
- Oh, of course not brother.

447
00:24:02,286 --> 00:24:04,190
Mi casa es su casa, you know that.

448
00:24:04,190 --> 00:24:05,500
Come on in fellas.

449
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:07,020
You've gotta see the place man,

450
00:24:07,020 --> 00:24:08,693
we have not improved a thing.

451
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:11,343
Hey, dudes.

452
00:24:12,527 --> 00:24:14,652
Look, brother Chuck.

453
00:24:14,652 --> 00:24:15,485
You remember him?

454
00:24:15,485 --> 00:24:16,902
- Yeah, up Chuck.

455
00:24:17,808 --> 00:24:18,863
How's it hangin'?

456
00:24:18,863 --> 00:24:20,711
- Haven't seen you since you graduated, bro.

457
00:24:20,711 --> 00:24:21,910
- Yeah, what the fuck is up man?

458
00:24:21,910 --> 00:24:23,920
- Hey guys, good to see you all again.

459
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,850
These are my bros, Matt and Joey.

460
00:24:25,850 --> 00:24:27,160
They wanted to come by and see the old place,

461
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,410
I talked about it so much.

462
00:24:28,410 --> 00:24:29,960
- And I see you brought along a pledge.

463
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:30,793
- Pledge?

464
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:34,463
- This is Rod.

465
00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:36,133
- I'm a hostage.

466
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,420
- Kidder.

467
00:24:38,420 --> 00:24:40,740
- Good to see you want to keep the old traditions alive.

468
00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:42,920
- How do we know this isn't some kind of trick?

469
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:44,480
Who are these strangers?

470
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,460
Maybe they're plants from Beta Upsilon Tau.

471
00:24:46,460 --> 00:24:47,860
- How dare you?

472
00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:49,000
Our rivals?

473
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,040
I am a proud Delta, just like you all.

474
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,140
- Surely we can trust old Up Chuck?

475
00:24:53,140 --> 00:24:55,610
Remember, when he drank 37 beers the night

476
00:24:55,610 --> 00:24:57,180
before the fraternity carnival?

477
00:24:57,180 --> 00:24:58,420
- We lost to the Betas that year,

478
00:24:58,420 --> 00:25:00,750
because he was too hung over for the wrestling competition.

479
00:25:00,750 --> 00:25:03,470
Maybe he's been deep undercover all along.

480
00:25:03,470 --> 00:25:05,140
- What's going on brothers?

481
00:25:05,140 --> 00:25:07,120
Why are you so suspicious?

482
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:09,140
- It's time we leveled with you Chuck.

483
00:25:09,140 --> 00:25:12,010
We are basically all that's left of Delta Iota Kappa.

484
00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:12,910
- What?

485
00:25:12,910 --> 00:25:14,400
The three of you?

486
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,350
- Yeah, and Luke.

487
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,930
He's busy in the other room, banging the frat house slut.

488
00:25:18,930 --> 00:25:20,510
- Frat house slut.

489
00:25:20,510 --> 00:25:21,360
- How did this happen?

490
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:24,090
- Well some people thought our frat hazing

491
00:25:24,090 --> 00:25:26,340
from last year got a little out of hand.

492
00:25:26,340 --> 00:25:27,320
- Out of hand?

493
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:28,950
- Yeah, some pledge almost drowned

494
00:25:28,950 --> 00:25:30,530
when we made him three laps in the pool,

495
00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:32,440
with a lit candle sticking out of his ass.

496
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,900
- [Frat Bro] And, in our defense,

497
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:35,580
it was hilarious at the time.

498
00:25:35,580 --> 00:25:37,500
- But those bastards at Beta Upsilon Tau

499
00:25:37,500 --> 00:25:40,010
reported us to the college administration.

500
00:25:40,010 --> 00:25:41,630
So now we, are on probation

501
00:25:41,630 --> 00:25:43,993
until we can get our act together.

502
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,590
- Hey brother Hunter, question.

503
00:25:47,590 --> 00:25:49,060
- What's up Up Chuck?

504
00:25:49,060 --> 00:25:51,140
- Why is the rooster naked?

505
00:25:51,140 --> 00:25:52,540
- Why wouldn't he be?

506
00:25:52,540 --> 00:25:54,163
I mean just look at him.

507
00:25:55,855 --> 00:25:56,700
- It's our mascot.

508
00:25:56,700 --> 00:25:57,810
- Those Betas are always trying

509
00:25:57,810 --> 00:25:59,590
to get their hands on Delta cock.

510
00:25:59,590 --> 00:26:01,280
- They're gonna take me back to the frat,

511
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,930
and do unspeakable things to me.

512
00:26:02,930 --> 00:26:04,870
I don't want to do unspeakable things to their frat.

513
00:26:04,870 --> 00:26:06,620
Only here, Delta for life!

514
00:26:06,620 --> 00:26:07,760
- Deltas!

515
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,930
- No no no, we not gonna do unspeakable things,

516
00:26:10,930 --> 00:26:13,570
I mean, normally, maybe,

517
00:26:13,570 --> 00:26:16,230
but this time, we're going right to the Dean.

518
00:26:16,230 --> 00:26:17,520
You guys are hazing again,

519
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,400
and now Delta Iota Kappa is over.

520
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:21,880
- Yeah, over.

521
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,850
- So help me God.

522
00:26:23,850 --> 00:26:26,633
If you touch one vein on that beautiful cock.

523
00:26:32,030 --> 00:26:33,533
- Allow us.

524
00:26:34,556 --> 00:26:37,556
(heavy metal music)

525
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,220
- Here comes the secret Delta Iota Kappa handshake.

526
00:27:33,220 --> 00:27:35,213
- Secret handshake.

527
00:28:08,986 --> 00:28:09,819
- Whoo!

528
00:28:11,274 --> 00:28:12,790
- I guess we can trust these guys.

529
00:28:12,790 --> 00:28:15,690
- Absolutely yes, Joey, Matt,

530
00:28:15,690 --> 00:28:17,720
I hereby call you honorary members

531
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,470
of the Delta Iota Kappa fraternity.

532
00:28:20,470 --> 00:28:21,580
- Thank you.

533
00:28:21,580 --> 00:28:23,250
- What about this one now?

534
00:28:23,250 --> 00:28:24,800
Your pledge?

535
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,258
- Pledge.

536
00:28:26,258 --> 00:28:28,480
- Yeah, you guessed it bud,

537
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,440
this guy never really had the true frat experience,

538
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,800
so we thought we'd do a little hazing.

539
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,440
- Well that's perfect.

540
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,500
It's hell week for our pledges, right now.

541
00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:39,800
- Hell week?

542
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,780
But I thought you said you were on probation

543
00:28:41,780 --> 00:28:42,890
because of your hazing?

544
00:28:42,890 --> 00:28:44,640
- Well yeah, but that doesn't mean

545
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,070
we're gonna break with tradition.

546
00:28:47,070 --> 00:28:48,360
- Well shit, yeah.

547
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,930
That's why we brought this guy along, hell week.

548
00:28:50,930 --> 00:28:52,870
I just wanted to show him around a little.

549
00:28:52,870 --> 00:28:56,110
- All right pledge, are you ready to join this fraternity?

550
00:28:56,110 --> 00:28:57,510
- No.

551
00:28:57,510 --> 00:28:59,750
- Well, you don't deserve it.

552
00:28:59,750 --> 00:29:00,643
- Dance monkey.

553
00:29:10,370 --> 00:29:11,610
- Classic.

554
00:29:11,610 --> 00:29:14,030
All right, let's put him with the others.

555
00:29:14,030 --> 00:29:15,913
- Wait, the others?

556
00:29:16,810 --> 00:29:19,463
- Like I told you, it's hell week, baby.

557
00:29:22,150 --> 00:29:25,563
And you know what happens to pledges on hell week.

558
00:29:27,220 --> 00:29:29,813
Now I don't remember telling you you could stop dancing.

559
00:29:31,340 --> 00:29:32,277
Drop the shoulders.

560
00:29:32,277 --> 00:29:33,843
A little bit of movement.

561
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,540
- This one's sleeping in here tonight, right boy?

562
00:29:46,540 --> 00:29:47,763
- Sorry, yes sir.

563
00:29:49,540 --> 00:29:51,630
- Oh, pathetic pledges,

564
00:29:51,630 --> 00:29:52,923
sleeping in here.

565
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,543
- Why am I erect?

566
00:29:58,860 --> 00:30:01,750
- And these lucky gents get the comfy bed,

567
00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:04,453
but have to go totally nude, wrapped up together.

568
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,130
You'll totally be fags for each other

569
00:30:08,130 --> 00:30:10,210
by tomorrow morning, I bet.

570
00:30:10,210 --> 00:30:11,280
Right pledge?

571
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:12,830
- Sir, yes sir.

572
00:30:12,830 --> 00:30:15,060
- Where do you want to put yours, brother Chuck?

573
00:30:15,060 --> 00:30:18,630
- Uh, let me confer with my associates.

574
00:30:18,630 --> 00:30:19,463
Just a moment.

575
00:30:25,580 --> 00:30:26,413
- What's wrong?

576
00:30:26,413 --> 00:30:28,320
- Guys, shouldn't we worry about?

577
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:29,153
- No, that's Luke.

578
00:30:29,153 --> 00:30:30,930
He's just boning, he won't notice anything.

579
00:30:30,930 --> 00:30:33,370
Joey, Matt, we have a problem.

580
00:30:33,370 --> 00:30:34,203
- What is it?

581
00:30:34,203 --> 00:30:36,590
- The diamonds and the plane tickets are in that bed.

582
00:30:36,590 --> 00:30:37,970
That's where I hid them,

583
00:30:37,970 --> 00:30:39,240
underneath those naked pledges.

584
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:40,073
- Shit.

585
00:30:41,500 --> 00:30:42,950
- Okay so, what does that mean?

586
00:30:42,950 --> 00:30:44,940
- It means we can't get to them until 10 in the morning

587
00:30:44,940 --> 00:30:45,810
when they take the pledges

588
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:47,960
for their naked run through the streets.

589
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,530
I forgot it was gonna be hell week this time of year,

590
00:30:49,530 --> 00:30:50,860
but I still remember how it works.

591
00:30:50,860 --> 00:30:52,055
- Okay, then now what?

592
00:30:52,055 --> 00:30:55,010
Oh wait, did you say, naked pledges?

593
00:30:55,010 --> 00:30:57,320
- Okay, look guys, this is not a disaster,

594
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,683
not at all, all right.

595
00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:01,460
Okay Chuck, can your frat brothers

596
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:02,440
put us up here for the night?

597
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:03,450
- Of course.

598
00:31:03,450 --> 00:31:04,283
- Okay, good.

599
00:31:05,170 --> 00:31:06,830
Cops won't think to look for us here.

600
00:31:06,830 --> 00:31:08,397
No one will.

601
00:31:08,397 --> 00:31:09,230
We get to wait out here the rest of the night,

602
00:31:09,230 --> 00:31:12,350
and in the morning, grab the shit and get out of this town.

603
00:31:12,350 --> 00:31:13,410
Even better, we can get some shut-eye

604
00:31:13,410 --> 00:31:14,730
and be fresh for our trip.

605
00:31:14,730 --> 00:31:15,720
- Works for me.

606
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:16,553
- Great.

607
00:31:17,390 --> 00:31:18,903
- Hey Chuck,

608
00:31:20,180 --> 00:31:22,030
did you have to go through this pledging stuff?

609
00:31:22,030 --> 00:31:24,270
Were you tied up naked with a bunch of other dudes?

610
00:31:24,270 --> 00:31:25,460
- Yeah.

611
00:31:25,460 --> 00:31:28,850
- Uh, how do I put this delicately?

612
00:31:28,850 --> 00:31:30,240
- Did you have to fuck another dude?

613
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,420
- Wait, fucked?

614
00:31:31,420 --> 00:31:33,330
Oh God, you got fucked, didn't you?

615
00:31:33,330 --> 00:31:34,330
Oh you liked it.

616
00:31:34,330 --> 00:31:36,280
- Not me, but some poor bastards did.

617
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:37,410
I was lucky.

618
00:31:37,410 --> 00:31:39,376
I only had to give another pledge a hand job.

619
00:31:39,376 --> 00:31:40,209
- Hot.

620
00:31:40,209 --> 00:31:41,042
- No, when you're pledging you have to do

621
00:31:41,042 --> 00:31:42,450
what every brother tells you.

622
00:31:42,450 --> 00:31:43,600
- Sounds pretty gay to me.

623
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,576
- It's not gay, it's discipline.

624
00:31:46,576 --> 00:31:47,409
- Hot.

625
00:31:48,310 --> 00:31:49,540
- If a pledge mouths off or whatever

626
00:31:49,540 --> 00:31:51,630
they can be forced to serve a brother for the night.

627
00:31:51,630 --> 00:31:53,650
- I could use a servant.

628
00:31:53,650 --> 00:31:56,650
- You guys, it's not supposed to be fun, or sexual,

629
00:31:56,650 --> 00:31:58,200
for the pledges anyway.

630
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,483
It's supposed to be completely humiliating and degrading.

631
00:32:02,391 --> 00:32:03,224
- Hot.

632
00:32:04,630 --> 00:32:05,463
- Chuck?

633
00:32:05,463 --> 00:32:06,440
Is that you?

634
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,940
- Oh shit.

635
00:32:07,940 --> 00:32:09,260
Beverly, hi.

636
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:10,530
- Hey.

637
00:32:10,530 --> 00:32:12,533
- Ah shut up Luke, you came already.

638
00:32:16,741 --> 00:32:18,550
You still taste so good.

639
00:32:20,180 --> 00:32:22,420
What are you doing back in town?

640
00:32:22,420 --> 00:32:23,253
- Uh oh.

641
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,580
- So yeah brothers,

642
00:32:31,580 --> 00:32:32,980
our plans fell through,

643
00:32:32,980 --> 00:32:34,720
and it looks like we're gonna need a place to crash,

644
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:35,870
just for tonight.

645
00:32:35,870 --> 00:32:37,000
- Of course, buddy.

646
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,640
Since the pledges are all scattered around,

647
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,443
we've got plenty of space.

648
00:32:41,443 --> 00:32:44,840
- Good, because I want to get this hunk back in the sack.

649
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:45,920
- Oh Beverly.

650
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:46,923
You old slut.

651
00:32:48,150 --> 00:32:49,890
- I like what I like.

652
00:32:49,890 --> 00:32:52,060
- Can we get a separate room?

653
00:32:52,060 --> 00:32:52,893
Matt and I?

654
00:32:52,893 --> 00:32:53,950
- Of course, dudes.

655
00:32:53,950 --> 00:32:55,930
Hey, tell you what,

656
00:32:55,930 --> 00:32:58,300
some of the pledges have been pretty disobedient.

657
00:32:58,300 --> 00:33:00,470
Why don't you each take one to be your servant tonight?

658
00:33:00,470 --> 00:33:01,410
- Really?

659
00:33:01,410 --> 00:33:03,930
- Sure, whatever you need, they'll do it.

660
00:33:03,930 --> 00:33:05,260
They'll treat you with the same respect

661
00:33:05,260 --> 00:33:07,130
they would their elder brothers.

662
00:33:07,130 --> 00:33:07,963
- Yeah, we'll flip a coin

663
00:33:07,963 --> 00:33:09,670
to see what pledge gets to serve you.

664
00:33:09,670 --> 00:33:13,100
- No need, I'll take the brown-eyed one,

665
00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:15,240
and the curly-haired one in the bathroom.

666
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,653
- And of course, Rod can come with us too.

667
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,107
- You want one, Chuck?

668
00:33:22,107 --> 00:33:24,343
- Naw, I think he's got his hands full,

669
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,053
of me.

670
00:33:27,460 --> 00:33:29,200
- Oh I'll bet he will.

671
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,390
I'll bet he will.

672
00:33:31,390 --> 00:33:32,640
- Hey dude, don't be afraid

673
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,640
to do whatever you want to the pledges.

674
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,090
It's part of their ordeal,

675
00:33:36,090 --> 00:33:39,670
and remember, it's not gay if it's your dick getting sucked.

676
00:33:39,670 --> 00:33:41,640
- It's not gay.

677
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,460
- Thanks broseph, I'll remember that.

678
00:33:44,460 --> 00:33:46,940
- Oh yeah, and there's condoms in the dresser drawer.

679
00:33:46,940 --> 00:33:48,690
But only use them if you need them.

680
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:54,520
- These boys will stop at nothing,

681
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,083
they are ruthless.

682
00:33:57,180 --> 00:33:58,013
Poor Rod.

683
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:00,123
We have to find you.

684
00:34:02,460 --> 00:34:03,293
- Joann.

685
00:34:04,140 --> 00:34:07,990
I'm sorry, we have done a search of all the hotels,

686
00:34:07,990 --> 00:34:11,190
motels, hostels, flop houses, and bed and breakfasts,

687
00:34:11,190 --> 00:34:13,550
in a 200 mile radius.

688
00:34:13,550 --> 00:34:16,295
Those jizz jockeys are nowhere to be found.

689
00:34:16,295 --> 00:34:17,900
- And you've got your eye on the airports,

690
00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:20,360
the bus depots, and the train stations?

691
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:21,193
- Of course.

692
00:34:22,330 --> 00:34:23,850
- We are going to find them.

693
00:34:23,850 --> 00:34:25,630
Believe you me.

694
00:34:25,630 --> 00:34:27,620
They have kidnapped Officer Pence,

695
00:34:27,620 --> 00:34:30,523
and they will pay for that.

696
00:34:31,630 --> 00:34:32,760
- They also shot you.

697
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,633
- Don't tell me what to be angry about, Lester!

698
00:34:35,633 --> 00:34:36,670
- Yes, ma'am.

699
00:34:36,670 --> 00:34:37,543
Sorry ma'am.

700
00:34:46,802 --> 00:34:49,969
- Well Rod, where have they taken you?

701
00:34:52,861 --> 00:34:55,111
(grunting)

702
00:35:05,156 --> 00:35:06,106
- Now kiss bitches.

703
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,643
(playful jazz music)

704
00:35:31,070 --> 00:35:32,170
- What's the matter, Rod?

705
00:35:32,170 --> 00:35:33,003
You want to join in?

706
00:35:33,003 --> 00:35:33,836
- No.

707
00:35:33,836 --> 00:35:34,669
- You sure?

708
00:35:34,669 --> 00:35:35,502
We'll untie you if you help us

709
00:35:35,502 --> 00:35:36,880
by sucking these dudes' dicks.

710
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,270
- Oh, we'll have to ungag him, too.

711
00:35:39,270 --> 00:35:42,253
- I guess so, if he's gonna take a shot or two in the mouth.

712
00:35:44,730 --> 00:35:46,390
- Oh come on Rod, don't be a pussy.

713
00:35:46,390 --> 00:35:48,260
Want to play with us?

714
00:35:48,260 --> 00:35:50,123
- Oh Rod, you're gonna love this.

715
00:36:03,798 --> 00:36:05,000
(sighing)

716
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:05,833
- Oh Chuck.

717
00:36:07,517 --> 00:36:10,100
It's so good to have you back.

718
00:36:10,100 --> 00:36:12,123
- You too, Beverly.

719
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:14,580
- You ready to go again?

720
00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,020
- Just give me 15 minutes.

721
00:36:18,681 --> 00:36:20,053
I'm not as young as I used to be.

722
00:36:20,910 --> 00:36:24,790
- Oh hey, sorry, I didn't realize Beverly was occupied,

723
00:36:24,790 --> 00:36:26,010
I've got some dank weed.

724
00:36:26,010 --> 00:36:27,780
- Yeah, sorry Luke.

725
00:36:27,780 --> 00:36:29,450
See you tomorrow?

726
00:36:29,450 --> 00:36:32,820
Chucky will be gone by then and we can smoke up

727
00:36:32,820 --> 00:36:34,010
and do that thing you like

728
00:36:34,010 --> 00:36:35,960
with the whipped cream and the bananas.

729
00:36:36,930 --> 00:36:39,093
- Okay, I'll see you tomorrow night, then.

730
00:36:41,770 --> 00:36:44,647
- Honestly, Luke isn't the brightest knife in the drawer

731
00:36:44,647 --> 00:36:47,020
but he eats pussy like a madman

732
00:36:47,020 --> 00:36:49,170
so I'm inclined to forgive him his foibles.

733
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:51,553
- He's a weirdo.

734
00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:56,160
- You're not jealous are you Chucky?

735
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,920
- Don't call me Chucky.

736
00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:58,753
It's diminutive.

737
00:36:59,690 --> 00:37:01,023
- Oh, I'm sorry.

738
00:37:02,185 --> 00:37:03,935
I've been a bad girl.

739
00:37:05,253 --> 00:37:08,763
Why don't you come over here and let me make it up to you?

740
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,090
- Maybe we could just cuddle?

741
00:37:13,850 --> 00:37:14,683
- All right.

742
00:37:16,130 --> 00:37:20,150
But I want you inside of me in the morning.

743
00:37:20,150 --> 00:37:22,020
- Whatever you say.

744
00:37:22,020 --> 00:37:23,173
As long as it's before 10 a.m.

745
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:25,513
- Why?

746
00:37:26,510 --> 00:37:29,423
- I mean, whatever, it's no big thing.

747
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:33,523
- What are you doing back here anyway?

748
00:37:35,570 --> 00:37:38,423
- Well, can you keep a secret?

749
00:37:44,810 --> 00:37:47,370
- Those boots are looking mighty fine, pledge,

750
00:37:47,370 --> 00:37:49,233
mighty fine indeed.

751
00:37:50,550 --> 00:37:52,380
I have an exam coming up pledge,

752
00:37:52,380 --> 00:37:54,350
an exam on Ayn Rand.

753
00:37:54,350 --> 00:37:56,060
Have you read Rand?

754
00:37:56,060 --> 00:37:56,893
- Yes, sir.

755
00:37:56,893 --> 00:37:57,930
- No, you haven't.

756
00:37:57,930 --> 00:37:59,010
You know why?

757
00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:00,670
Because Rand fucking reads you

758
00:38:00,670 --> 00:38:03,460
like the parasite she knows you are.

759
00:38:03,460 --> 00:38:05,000
- I've heard that before, sir.

760
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,740
- I used to jack off to Rand, pledge.

761
00:38:07,740 --> 00:38:10,660
Not her philosophy, just her.

762
00:38:10,660 --> 00:38:12,690
Her eyes, her pantsuits.

763
00:38:12,690 --> 00:38:14,950
Holy fuck she was something,

764
00:38:14,950 --> 00:38:16,880
and that's when I started to read her books.

765
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,980
And then I realized, Ayn Rand's words alone

766
00:38:19,980 --> 00:38:21,840
make my dick rock hard.

767
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:23,380
Have you read the Fountainhead?

768
00:38:23,380 --> 00:38:24,310
- Yes, sir.

769
00:38:24,310 --> 00:38:27,200
- The Fountainhead is about the tip of my penis.

770
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,430
It's about the tip of all of our penises.

771
00:38:29,430 --> 00:38:31,160
Is it penises, or peen-eye?

772
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,410
- It's cock, sir.

773
00:38:32,410 --> 00:38:33,243
- What's that?

774
00:38:33,243 --> 00:38:34,480
- It's cock,

775
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:38,370
big, bludgeoning, beautifully objectivist cock.

776
00:38:38,370 --> 00:38:39,833
- Makes you hard, doesn't it?

777
00:38:40,690 --> 00:38:41,910
- Your boots are done.

778
00:38:41,910 --> 00:38:43,550
- So they are.

779
00:38:43,550 --> 00:38:45,100
Is there anything I can help you with?

780
00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:48,690
- I'm writing an essay, required, on The Maltese Falcon,

781
00:38:48,690 --> 00:38:50,670
John Huston, 1941.

782
00:38:50,670 --> 00:38:52,123
- Yep, great film.

783
00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:54,510
And?

784
00:38:54,510 --> 00:38:57,700
For me, I feel the film would be better, smoother,

785
00:38:57,700 --> 00:38:59,470
if the character of Kasper Gutman,

786
00:38:59,470 --> 00:39:01,560
portrayed by Sydney Greenstreet,

787
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,580
was replaced with Lex Luthor,

788
00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:07,340
portrayed by Kevin Spacey from Superman Returns, 2006.

789
00:39:07,340 --> 00:39:09,580
That's the subject of my essay,

790
00:39:09,580 --> 00:39:12,500
but Professor Denton rejected it, whole cloth.

791
00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:14,640
- You're a film major, aren't you pledge?

792
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:15,590
- Yes, sir.

793
00:39:15,590 --> 00:39:17,770
Although I ordinarily refuse to view anything

794
00:39:17,770 --> 00:39:19,650
lensed prior to 1977.

795
00:39:19,650 --> 00:39:21,430
- Why 1977?

796
00:39:21,430 --> 00:39:22,963
- Star Wars.

797
00:39:32,950 --> 00:39:35,370
- Take them and cut them out in little stars,

798
00:39:35,370 --> 00:39:37,490
and he will make a face of heaven so fine,

799
00:39:37,490 --> 00:39:39,700
that all the world will be in love with night,

800
00:39:39,700 --> 00:39:42,310
pay no worship to the garish sun.

801
00:39:42,310 --> 00:39:43,940
Oh I have bought a mansion of love,

802
00:39:43,940 --> 00:39:45,380
but not possessed it.

803
00:39:45,380 --> 00:39:48,040
And though I am sold, not yet enjoyed.

804
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,880
So tedious is this day

805
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,920
as is the night before some festival

806
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,980
to the impatient child that hath new robes

807
00:39:53,980 --> 00:39:55,200
and may not wear them.

808
00:39:58,761 --> 00:40:02,094
(soft funky jazz music)

809
00:40:46,733 --> 00:40:48,233
- 9-1-1.

810
00:40:50,870 --> 00:40:51,703
- Hello?

811
00:40:53,110 --> 00:40:54,320
Uh huh.

812
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:56,220
You've been kidnapped?

813
00:40:56,220 --> 00:40:57,570
So?

814
00:40:57,570 --> 00:40:58,980
Uh huh.

815
00:40:58,980 --> 00:41:02,823
Ah, I see, let me transfer you to somebody who gives a shit.

816
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:05,353
Idiot.

817
00:41:06,671 --> 00:41:08,088
- [Operator] 9-1-1, how can we help you?

818
00:41:08,088 --> 00:41:08,921
- Help me, please.

819
00:41:08,921 --> 00:41:09,754
Help me.

820
00:41:09,754 --> 00:41:10,587
- [Operator] Yes, sir.

821
00:41:10,587 --> 00:41:11,420
Please be specific.

822
00:41:11,420 --> 00:41:12,423
Put me through to Joann Cumbersbeck, please.

823
00:41:13,332 --> 00:41:15,220
- [Operator] I don't understand, sir.

824
00:41:15,220 --> 00:41:18,860
- I'm a cop, Officer Rod Pence, I've been kidnapped,

825
00:41:18,860 --> 00:41:20,870
put me through to Joann Cumbersbeck, now.

826
00:41:20,870 --> 00:41:22,850
- [Operator] Yes sir, please hold.

827
00:41:22,850 --> 00:41:24,878
- Hey, what's going on?

828
00:41:24,878 --> 00:41:27,210
- Nothing, nothing, don't worry about me.

829
00:41:27,210 --> 00:41:29,250
- Is that pledge calling his mother?

830
00:41:29,250 --> 00:41:31,200
- Or his girlfriend?

831
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,493
Gonna cry pussy?

832
00:41:33,420 --> 00:41:34,660
- What's going on?

833
00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:37,120
- This pledge is calling his mommy.

834
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:37,953
- Lame.

835
00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:39,150
- Oh quiet, quiet.

836
00:41:39,150 --> 00:41:42,012
I'm not calling my mother, this is very important.

837
00:41:42,012 --> 00:41:42,845
- [Joann] Rod? Rod? Is that you?

838
00:41:42,845 --> 00:41:44,820
- Joann, Joann, thank God,

839
00:41:44,820 --> 00:41:47,300
I'm naked Joann, they made me do terrible things.

840
00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:50,360
- Oh waa waa, listen to the baby pussy boy.

841
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,560
- Who's Joann, your girlfriend?

842
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:53,437
- [Joann] Where are you?

843
00:41:53,437 --> 00:41:56,250
- Joann, I'm naked, they made me, they made me.

844
00:41:56,250 --> 00:41:59,160
- [Joann] Rod focus, we will come to find you.

845
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:00,610
Where are you?

846
00:42:00,610 --> 00:42:02,852
- They took me to some frat house somewhere.

847
00:42:02,852 --> 00:42:03,685
- [Joann] A frat house?

848
00:42:03,685 --> 00:42:04,518
- Yeah, I'm standing here in the middle--

849
00:42:04,518 --> 00:42:07,920
- What the hell is going on in here?

850
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:11,360
- Pledge, you have been very insubordinate.

851
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:13,650
At this rate, your never gonna join the frat.

852
00:42:13,650 --> 00:42:16,610
- What? I don't want to join your frat.

853
00:42:16,610 --> 00:42:17,623
- Grab him.

854
00:42:17,623 --> 00:42:18,456
- No, no.

855
00:42:18,456 --> 00:42:21,423
I'm not a pledge!

856
00:42:21,423 --> 00:42:23,590
- Lester, Lester, I need you to trace this call.

857
00:42:23,590 --> 00:42:25,210
I need you to triangulate this location.

858
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:26,670
I should have known it.

859
00:42:26,670 --> 00:42:28,973
Those faggots were in a frat house.

860
00:42:33,060 --> 00:42:34,910
What in the raging shits is this?

861
00:42:34,910 --> 00:42:36,610
- Drag queen from the club,

862
00:42:36,610 --> 00:42:38,610
name's Pinata Debris.

863
00:42:38,610 --> 00:42:40,620
Wanted to give a statement.

864
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,260
- Thank you, Lester.

865
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:44,560
You've been too kind.

866
00:42:48,507 --> 00:42:50,863
- What have you got for me?

867
00:42:50,863 --> 00:42:52,030
- Information.

868
00:42:53,441 --> 00:42:54,441
Experience.

869
00:42:58,351 --> 00:43:00,563
Lips for days.

870
00:43:03,548 --> 00:43:05,923
- All right, what can you tell me about frat houses?

871
00:43:07,010 --> 00:43:10,680
- Darling, I believe the plural is frat hice?

872
00:43:12,831 --> 00:43:15,164
(screaming)

873
00:43:16,637 --> 00:43:17,470
- What's going on?

874
00:43:17,470 --> 00:43:18,400
- What's all that noise.

875
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,340
- Is this normal?

876
00:43:19,340 --> 00:43:21,840
- I don't know.

877
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:25,593
- I don't think so, but it's hell week, who knows?

878
00:43:26,670 --> 00:43:27,720
- Better investigate.

879
00:43:28,850 --> 00:43:32,503
- Wait, you guys are totally straight, right?

880
00:43:33,620 --> 00:43:35,113
- Yes. - Yeah.

881
00:43:36,036 --> 00:43:37,630
- Great.

882
00:43:37,630 --> 00:43:39,870
Make out with each other until we get back.

883
00:43:39,870 --> 00:43:40,703
- No slacking.

884
00:43:44,730 --> 00:43:47,730
(rock guitar music)

885
00:43:49,950 --> 00:43:52,540
- Thank you sir, may I have another.

886
00:43:52,540 --> 00:43:55,494
Thank you sir, may I have another.

887
00:43:55,494 --> 00:43:58,390
Thank you sir, may I have another.

888
00:43:58,390 --> 00:43:59,380
- Hey, what's going on here?

889
00:43:59,380 --> 00:44:02,130
- This pledge tried making contact with the outside world.

890
00:44:02,130 --> 00:44:03,610
He was calling someone named Joann

891
00:44:03,610 --> 00:44:04,920
to try to get him out of this.

892
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,430
- Probably his mother.

893
00:44:06,430 --> 00:44:07,800
- Shut up, pledge.

894
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,720
- Sir, yes sir.

895
00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:10,553
- Joann?

896
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:13,190
- Must be his partner.

897
00:44:13,190 --> 00:44:16,410
It's okay boys, we'll take charge of him from here.

898
00:44:16,410 --> 00:44:19,683
- And we'll be sure to administer severe punishment.

899
00:44:20,730 --> 00:44:22,970
- Great, because it's about time

900
00:44:22,970 --> 00:44:26,150
for our naked humiliation walk.

901
00:44:26,150 --> 00:44:29,130
Okay pledges, drop 'em.

902
00:44:29,130 --> 00:44:30,523
- Sir, yes sir.

903
00:44:33,530 --> 00:44:36,170
- All right pledges, hands on heads and out the door.

904
00:44:36,170 --> 00:44:38,032
Let's go, single file.

905
00:44:38,032 --> 00:44:39,199
Count 'em off.

906
00:44:46,090 --> 00:44:49,090
- So you really care about this Rod guy, right?

907
00:44:49,090 --> 00:44:50,830
- His name is Officer Pence to you.

908
00:44:50,830 --> 00:44:53,843
- But you really seem to care a lot about him.

909
00:44:54,690 --> 00:44:56,610
Why is that?

910
00:44:56,610 --> 00:44:57,593
- He's a good cop.

911
00:44:59,050 --> 00:45:00,800
He had dreams, you know.

912
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,050
Wanted to be a filmmaker.

913
00:45:03,528 --> 00:45:04,580
- He did?

914
00:45:04,580 --> 00:45:05,680
- Yeah. - Rod?

915
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:06,513
- Yeah.

916
00:45:07,947 --> 00:45:09,470
He spent five years making a documentary

917
00:45:09,470 --> 00:45:11,670
about ghetto youth in the area,

918
00:45:11,670 --> 00:45:13,764
thought it would win him a Pulitzer.

919
00:45:13,764 --> 00:45:14,680
He had big plans.

920
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:16,800
- Well then, what happened?

921
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,720
- He lost his NEA funding, and couldn't complete the film.

922
00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:23,040
He had to sell all the footage just to make ends meet.

923
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,430
It all went to some Korean company

924
00:45:24,430 --> 00:45:27,690
that makes crappy videos for karaoke songs.

925
00:45:27,690 --> 00:45:31,870
- Oh, that's why those videos never make any sense.

926
00:45:31,870 --> 00:45:35,400
Wait, I host a karaoke night on Tuesdays.

927
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,740
Could it be?

928
00:45:38,740 --> 00:45:41,230
Is there a video for Angel of the Morning,

929
00:45:41,230 --> 00:45:43,830
where a guy with a mohawk is flipping off the camera?

930
00:45:43,830 --> 00:45:45,230
- That does sound like it.

931
00:45:45,230 --> 00:45:46,063
- Wow.

932
00:45:50,310 --> 00:45:53,823
Are you in love with him?

933
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,300
- Of course not.

934
00:45:56,300 --> 00:45:57,630
Of course not.

935
00:45:57,630 --> 00:45:58,990
We have been dating for six months,

936
00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:00,307
and he hasn't even kissed me yet,

937
00:46:00,307 --> 00:46:01,957
because he's a perfect gentleman.

938
00:46:07,370 --> 00:46:09,030
- No, no, no.

939
00:46:09,030 --> 00:46:11,280
Hands on head, pledges.

940
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,840
That's 20 whacks with the paddle when we get back.

941
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,420
All right boys, we will be taking a brisk tour

942
00:46:16,420 --> 00:46:18,180
of our fair campus.

943
00:46:18,180 --> 00:46:20,870
In our travels we shall visit the library,

944
00:46:20,870 --> 00:46:23,340
the cafeteria, best of all,

945
00:46:23,340 --> 00:46:25,810
the girls' field hockey practice, now again,,

946
00:46:25,810 --> 00:46:26,643
brother Brock.

947
00:46:27,624 --> 00:46:29,544
- I don't know but I've been told.

948
00:46:29,544 --> 00:46:30,377
- I don't know but I've been told.

949
00:46:31,900 --> 00:46:34,067
(muffled)

950
00:46:35,820 --> 00:46:37,845
- If you look between your thighs

951
00:46:37,845 --> 00:46:40,267
- If you look between your thighs

952
00:46:40,267 --> 00:46:42,150
- You can judge them by the size.

953
00:46:42,150 --> 00:46:43,670
- You can judge them by the size.

954
00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:44,761
- Pledge,

955
00:46:44,761 --> 00:46:46,480
you having an internal compass problem here?

956
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,650
That tip is your north star, now you follow it

957
00:46:48,650 --> 00:46:50,463
with the other fuckers.

958
00:46:52,132 --> 00:46:53,160
These are lasting memories that will

959
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:54,538
be with you the rest of your life,

960
00:46:54,538 --> 00:46:56,621
now start acting like it.

961
00:47:00,457 --> 00:47:01,560
- The diamonds.

962
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:02,833
- And the tickets.

963
00:47:14,010 --> 00:47:14,980
- Nothing. - Nothing.

964
00:47:14,980 --> 00:47:17,030
What the fuck?

965
00:47:17,030 --> 00:47:19,410
- Nothing, damn it.

966
00:47:19,410 --> 00:47:21,430
This is where Chuck said it would be.

967
00:47:21,430 --> 00:47:23,433
Wait a minute, where's Chuck?

968
00:47:30,140 --> 00:47:31,110
- Chuck?

969
00:47:31,110 --> 00:47:32,173
What happened?

970
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:34,320
- It was Beverly.

971
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:37,380
Somehow she got it out of me, all our plans.

972
00:47:37,380 --> 00:47:40,320
And then, after we had sex nine times, I fell asleep.

973
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,180
When I woke up I was tied up like this.

974
00:47:42,180 --> 00:47:43,940
I've been here all night.

975
00:47:43,940 --> 00:47:44,773
- Wait a minute.

976
00:47:47,550 --> 00:47:49,200
The car's gone.

977
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:50,033
Damn it.

978
00:47:50,033 --> 00:47:51,687
- She took Tulula?

979
00:47:51,687 --> 00:47:52,810
- She took the keys,

980
00:47:52,810 --> 00:47:54,020
she took the tickets,

981
00:47:54,020 --> 00:47:55,640
she took the diamonds,

982
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:57,350
she took everything.

983
00:47:57,350 --> 00:47:58,290
- Women.

984
00:47:58,290 --> 00:47:59,440
Am I right?

985
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,530
This guy knows what I'm talking about.

986
00:48:01,530 --> 00:48:04,260
- Could you finish untying me please?

987
00:48:04,260 --> 00:48:06,860
- I don't even know if I should, Chuck.

988
00:48:06,860 --> 00:48:08,430
I'm ashamed of you,

989
00:48:08,430 --> 00:48:11,080
being taken in by that common trash.

990
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:11,930
I knew you were straight,

991
00:48:11,930 --> 00:48:14,330
but I thought you had better taste.

992
00:48:14,330 --> 00:48:17,040
- The wang wants what it wants.

993
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,541
I could never resist a fraternity slut.

994
00:48:19,541 --> 00:48:20,850
(siren approaching)

995
00:48:20,850 --> 00:48:22,853
- Shit, copper cops.

996
00:48:23,986 --> 00:48:27,819
(fast-paced electronic music)

997
00:48:35,630 --> 00:48:37,083
- Shit, what do we do now?

998
00:48:39,499 --> 00:48:40,820
- Okay, you fruits.

999
00:48:40,820 --> 00:48:41,860
We know you're in there.

1000
00:48:41,860 --> 00:48:44,720
Come on out with your hands up, and no one gets hurt.

1001
00:48:45,630 --> 00:48:48,421
- Chuck, Chuck, it's me, I know you're better than this.

1002
00:48:48,421 --> 00:48:49,810
I love you Chuck, I love you!

1003
00:48:49,810 --> 00:48:50,710
- Give that to me.

1004
00:48:51,650 --> 00:48:54,147
- Can't believe Pinata's helping them.

1005
00:48:54,147 --> 00:48:55,300
- I don't know if she's helping them,

1006
00:48:55,300 --> 00:48:58,200
so much as trying to get into Chuck's pants again.

1007
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,090
- Can I help it if I'm a chick magnet.

1008
00:49:00,090 --> 00:49:01,210
- Chick with a dick magnet.

1009
00:49:01,210 --> 00:49:03,990
- Chicks with dicks and geese (muffled).

1010
00:49:03,990 --> 00:49:05,230
- I'd think you were happy I was going

1011
00:49:05,230 --> 00:49:07,360
up the down escalator once in a while.

1012
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,070
I mean God bless her.

1013
00:49:09,070 --> 00:49:11,945
- It must take her hours to get ready in the morning.

1014
00:49:11,945 --> 00:49:13,470
- I just wouldn't have the patience.

1015
00:49:13,470 --> 00:49:15,467
- You know I often find that women who aren't real women,

1016
00:49:15,467 --> 00:49:19,030
will be more like women than women who are real women.

1017
00:49:19,030 --> 00:49:20,840
- Who's to say what's real, anyways?

1018
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:23,860
In a sense everything that we see and hear is real,

1019
00:49:23,860 --> 00:49:25,500
so a real woman is real,

1020
00:49:25,500 --> 00:49:27,400
no matter the reality of the realness.

1021
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:30,360
- You know I think it was Gertrude Stein that said that.

1022
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,310
- [Joann] Faggots, surrender before we come in after you.

1023
00:49:33,310 --> 00:49:34,940
- What do we do now?

1024
00:49:34,940 --> 00:49:37,580
- Beats me, I've never been in a Mexican standoff before.

1025
00:49:37,580 --> 00:49:39,180
- Why does it gotta be Mexican?

1026
00:49:39,180 --> 00:49:40,550
That's racist.

1027
00:49:40,550 --> 00:49:42,490
- You always say things are racist.

1028
00:49:42,490 --> 00:49:43,600
Like that Chinese gift swap

1029
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,410
that Danny organized at the club last Christmas?

1030
00:49:45,410 --> 00:49:47,470
- That was racist, what does that even mean?

1031
00:49:47,470 --> 00:49:49,240
- Guys, cops.

1032
00:49:49,240 --> 00:49:50,840
About to storm the frat house, remember?

1033
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,103
- Right, yes.

1034
00:49:53,085 --> 00:49:54,270
Thoughts?

1035
00:49:54,270 --> 00:49:56,260
- We need to get out of here without getting nicked.

1036
00:49:56,260 --> 00:49:57,620
We need a diversion.

1037
00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:58,453
- Like what?

1038
00:49:59,573 --> 00:50:00,580
We have to throw something at them.

1039
00:50:00,580 --> 00:50:01,413
That completely pulls their focus,

1040
00:50:01,413 --> 00:50:03,360
so that we can get away.

1041
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:04,210
- I have an idea.

1042
00:50:05,390 --> 00:50:06,223
- Go on.

1043
00:50:08,116 --> 00:50:08,949
- Twinks.

1044
00:50:11,093 --> 00:50:14,926
(fast-paced electronic music)

1045
00:50:44,191 --> 00:50:46,905
(Rod crying)

1046
00:50:46,905 --> 00:50:50,322
(marching drums playing)

1047
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:08,540
- As great as it is to watch you go for gold

1048
00:51:08,540 --> 00:51:11,500
in the naked tongue Olympics, we've got new plans for you.

1049
00:51:11,500 --> 00:51:12,600
- Sir, yes sir.

1050
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:14,370
- There's a police barricade outside.

1051
00:51:14,370 --> 00:51:16,670
We need you two to run out there like mad men,

1052
00:51:18,030 --> 00:51:19,970
firing this off at your leisure.

1053
00:51:19,970 --> 00:51:20,980
- Sir?

1054
00:51:20,980 --> 00:51:23,380
- Look, we're not actually asking you to shoot anybody.

1055
00:51:23,380 --> 00:51:24,430
- Unless you want to.

1056
00:51:25,420 --> 00:51:26,450
I mean it's probably better

1057
00:51:26,450 --> 00:51:27,840
for everyone if you don't, though.

1058
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:29,089
- Right.

1059
00:51:29,089 --> 00:51:31,160
We just need you to go outside,

1060
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:32,370
shoot this off into the air,

1061
00:51:32,370 --> 00:51:35,230
cause a distraction.

1062
00:51:35,230 --> 00:51:37,440
- But, if we do that, won't we get shot?

1063
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:38,663
- Another distraction.

1064
00:51:40,930 --> 00:51:43,760
Look, it'll be real easy, okay?

1065
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,410
We give you the cue, you run outside,

1066
00:51:45,410 --> 00:51:47,270
guns blazing, dicks flapping.

1067
00:51:47,270 --> 00:51:49,560
- Wait, you want us to do this naked, sir?

1068
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:51,490
- Could be really awesome.

1069
00:51:51,490 --> 00:51:53,310
No better test of manhood.

1070
00:51:53,310 --> 00:51:56,740
You two will be the envy of the entire frat.

1071
00:51:56,740 --> 00:51:59,630
- Sir, I'm not sure that's a very good idea.

1072
00:51:59,630 --> 00:52:01,340
I mean, we're just--

1073
00:52:01,340 --> 00:52:03,530
- Pledges don't talk back.

1074
00:52:03,530 --> 00:52:04,920
- Sir, yes sir.

1075
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,150
- There's nothing to be afraid of boys,

1076
00:52:07,150 --> 00:52:09,450
this will be your moment of glory.

1077
00:52:09,450 --> 00:52:12,253
You'll be American icons, like Butch and Sundance.

1078
00:52:13,190 --> 00:52:14,023
- Who?

1079
00:52:17,310 --> 00:52:19,740
- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

1080
00:52:19,740 --> 00:52:20,573
There was a movie?

1081
00:52:20,573 --> 00:52:22,480
- Yeah, in the 70's.

1082
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,000
- I never saw it sir.

1083
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,533
- I saw it, my father was a fan, sir.

1084
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:29,530
- Good pledge, I like you.

1085
00:52:29,530 --> 00:52:32,130
- But, Butch Cassidy and Sundance,

1086
00:52:32,130 --> 00:52:34,920
at the end of the film, they died sir.

1087
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:35,753
- Spoilers!

1088
00:52:35,753 --> 00:52:37,900
- That's not the point, we're gonna get shot.

1089
00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:39,173
- Kids these days.

1090
00:52:40,030 --> 00:52:42,283
I remember when I was your age,

1091
00:52:43,210 --> 00:52:45,660
when a macho older man asked you to do something

1092
00:52:45,660 --> 00:52:46,493
you weren't sure about,

1093
00:52:46,493 --> 00:52:49,330
you just held your breath and you went for it.

1094
00:52:49,330 --> 00:52:52,350
- That's the problem with these fuckin' millennials.

1095
00:52:52,350 --> 00:52:55,210
Nobody's ready to get a rage hard on anymore.

1096
00:52:55,210 --> 00:52:56,620
- It's all blah blah blah,

1097
00:52:56,620 --> 00:52:59,053
I don't want to have butt sex with anyone I don't know.

1098
00:52:59,053 --> 00:53:00,480
- Waa waa, I don't want to have sex

1099
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,800
at a donkey show in Mexico.

1100
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:05,650
- Babe, what's it with you and Mexico today?

1101
00:53:05,650 --> 00:53:06,550
- I'm just saying.

1102
00:53:07,470 --> 00:53:09,870
- You guys are a real mess, you know that?

1103
00:53:09,870 --> 00:53:13,088
- You should see us at hot buffet night at The Eagle.

1104
00:53:13,088 --> 00:53:13,921
- The Eagle.

1105
00:53:13,921 --> 00:53:15,243
- Take the gun, pledge.

1106
00:53:18,940 --> 00:53:20,990
- I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this.

1107
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:24,320
- You need to gather a little courage,

1108
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:25,153
a little spunk.

1109
00:53:28,430 --> 00:53:29,343
I believe in you.

1110
00:53:34,310 --> 00:53:36,660
Jesus these kids are too timid.

1111
00:53:36,660 --> 00:53:37,990
Don't we have any drugs for them or something

1112
00:53:37,990 --> 00:53:38,990
to amp the heart up?

1113
00:53:38,990 --> 00:53:40,910
This is a frat house after all, right?

1114
00:53:40,910 --> 00:53:42,630
Some coke to get the heart going?

1115
00:53:42,630 --> 00:53:45,970
- Um, there might be some amyl nitrate in the basement.

1116
00:53:45,970 --> 00:53:47,250
- Amyl nitrate?

1117
00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:48,550
You mean poppers?

1118
00:53:48,550 --> 00:53:50,150
I thought you said nothing about this place was gay?

1119
00:53:50,150 --> 00:53:51,480
- It's not.

1120
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:53,443
They use it clean the VCR.

1121
00:53:54,530 --> 00:53:56,610
- You still have a VCR?

1122
00:53:56,610 --> 00:53:57,690
- Is that where you watch

1123
00:53:57,690 --> 00:53:59,620
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Twinks?

1124
00:53:59,620 --> 00:54:02,293
- Hey, fuck you both, it's a classic.

1125
00:54:03,210 --> 00:54:05,163
- Okay now you,

1126
00:54:06,070 --> 00:54:07,860
your little buddy here is scared.

1127
00:54:07,860 --> 00:54:10,290
Now, I want you to take this gun,

1128
00:54:10,290 --> 00:54:11,500
don't shoot it.

1129
00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:12,860
Point it up in the air.

1130
00:54:12,860 --> 00:54:15,740
I just want you to run around here shouting.

1131
00:54:15,740 --> 00:54:17,420
Show me what you can do.

1132
00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:18,513
- Sir, yes sir.

1133
00:54:22,491 --> 00:54:23,824
Yabba dabba doo!

1134
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,293
- Good, now give me the gun.

1135
00:54:34,180 --> 00:54:35,829
- Sir, do I have to?

1136
00:54:35,829 --> 00:54:37,412
- Yes, you have to.

1137
00:54:39,060 --> 00:54:40,260
You'll be great.

1138
00:54:40,260 --> 00:54:41,860
You're gonna take this gun, kid.

1139
00:54:46,270 --> 00:54:47,243
You got this.

1140
00:54:49,210 --> 00:54:50,260
- I can.

1141
00:54:50,260 --> 00:54:51,093
I will.

1142
00:54:52,218 --> 00:54:54,940
(gun discharging) (pledges screaming)

1143
00:54:54,940 --> 00:54:56,360
- Was that a gun shot?

1144
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:58,010
- No, that was me.

1145
00:54:58,010 --> 00:54:59,510
I had Burrito Box for lunch.

1146
00:54:59,510 --> 00:55:01,740
- Yeah, I noticed.

1147
00:55:01,740 --> 00:55:04,330
But those gay boys still have their weapons.

1148
00:55:04,330 --> 00:55:07,140
And in case they are planning some kind of Mexican standoff,

1149
00:55:07,140 --> 00:55:09,530
we had better be ready.

1150
00:55:09,530 --> 00:55:11,270
- Why's it gotta be Mexican?

1151
00:55:11,270 --> 00:55:13,103
- I just love Burrito Box.

1152
00:55:14,460 --> 00:55:15,335
- I'm sorry sir.

1153
00:55:15,335 --> 00:55:16,760
I'm sorry sir.

1154
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:17,610
It was a mistake.

1155
00:55:18,470 --> 00:55:20,050
- This was a stupid idea anyway.

1156
00:55:20,050 --> 00:55:22,573
- No one likes a dude who's premature, kid.

1157
00:55:24,470 --> 00:55:27,270
Oh and, go back to kissing,

1158
00:55:27,270 --> 00:55:28,920
both of you.

1159
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:30,400
And this time rub your dicks together,

1160
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:31,750
see if you can start a fire.

1161
00:55:31,750 --> 00:55:32,893
- Yes sir.

1162
00:55:43,870 --> 00:55:45,053
- Okay, they're gone.

1163
00:55:52,210 --> 00:55:53,940
- That was a huge waste of time.

1164
00:55:53,940 --> 00:55:55,010
- I should have known better.

1165
00:55:55,010 --> 00:55:56,930
Never send a bottom when you need a top.

1166
00:55:56,930 --> 00:55:57,820
- Hey.

1167
00:55:57,820 --> 00:55:58,970
- That doesn't apply to you, stud.

1168
00:55:58,970 --> 00:56:00,120
- Damn right it doesn't.

1169
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:02,173
- I should have said never send a boy when you need a man.

1170
00:56:02,173 --> 00:56:03,006
- I need a man.

1171
00:56:03,940 --> 00:56:05,940
- Any men in here have any bright ideas?

1172
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:08,300
- Pinata's out there with the cops.

1173
00:56:08,300 --> 00:56:09,270
She can't be working with them.

1174
00:56:09,270 --> 00:56:10,980
Can we use that to our advantage somehow?

1175
00:56:10,980 --> 00:56:12,720
- Maybe we can have her make a distraction for us.

1176
00:56:12,720 --> 00:56:14,470
Maybe we can get a message to her somehow?

1177
00:56:14,470 --> 00:56:16,513
- I could text her, I've got her number on my cell.

1178
00:56:16,513 --> 00:56:18,970
In case I ever needed a booty call.

1179
00:56:18,970 --> 00:56:20,610
- Who knew that all it took took to get you in bed

1180
00:56:20,610 --> 00:56:22,690
was a cheap dress and a wig.

1181
00:56:22,690 --> 00:56:24,510
- I just wouldn't have the patience.

1182
00:56:24,510 --> 00:56:26,180
- My cell phone's in my pants in the other room.

1183
00:56:26,180 --> 00:56:27,430
- Perfect, let's do this.

1184
00:56:30,490 --> 00:56:31,323
- Hi there.

1185
00:56:32,700 --> 00:56:33,780
- Hi.

1186
00:56:33,780 --> 00:56:35,170
- You must be Rod.

1187
00:56:35,170 --> 00:56:37,610
Darling, I'm a huge fan of your work.

1188
00:56:37,610 --> 00:56:38,523
- Thank you?

1189
00:56:39,761 --> 00:56:40,594
- Denada.

1190
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:43,473
Pinata.

1191
00:56:44,850 --> 00:56:47,783
- Oh, sorry I don't speak Spanish.

1192
00:56:48,900 --> 00:56:49,893
- Que las tima.

1193
00:56:52,997 --> 00:56:56,497
(cell phone notification)

1194
00:57:06,700 --> 00:57:07,533
Bye.

1195
00:57:09,710 --> 00:57:13,230
- Sure thing stud, I'll do it for 15 dick pics.

1196
00:57:13,230 --> 00:57:14,280
- She's a thirsty girl.

1197
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:15,750
- We don't have time for this.

1198
00:57:15,750 --> 00:57:16,820
- Right now?

1199
00:57:16,820 --> 00:57:19,003
Kind of in a rush.

1200
00:57:20,550 --> 00:57:24,270
- Okay then, five now, the next 10 at your leisure.

1201
00:57:24,270 --> 00:57:25,960
- Jesus Christ, just give her what she wants.

1202
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:27,010
- What, just whip it out?

1203
00:57:27,010 --> 00:57:28,360
- You've never taken a dick pic before?

1204
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,820
- No, I usually rely on my pecs to seal the deal.

1205
00:57:30,820 --> 00:57:31,820
It's an in-person thing,

1206
00:57:31,820 --> 00:57:33,753
sexting is so cold and distant.

1207
00:57:35,940 --> 00:57:36,773
- What are you doing?

1208
00:57:36,773 --> 00:57:37,710
No, that's a bad angle.

1209
00:57:37,710 --> 00:57:38,580
- And the lighting is terrible

1210
00:57:38,580 --> 00:57:40,100
if you just shoot into your pants like that.

1211
00:57:40,100 --> 00:57:41,040
- Well excuse me,

1212
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:42,750
I'm not a professional cock photographer.

1213
00:57:42,750 --> 00:57:44,790
- A cock-tographer.

1214
00:57:44,790 --> 00:57:45,877
- Just give me the phone.

1215
00:57:45,877 --> 00:57:47,750
I dabbled in photography,

1216
00:57:47,750 --> 00:57:49,610
a little bit when I was in college.

1217
00:57:49,610 --> 00:57:51,380
Matt, get the lights.

1218
00:57:51,380 --> 00:57:53,763
Chuck, drop those pants.

1219
00:57:55,820 --> 00:57:58,000
- Give me an angry tiger.

1220
00:57:58,000 --> 00:57:59,290
- Give it me baby.

1221
00:57:59,290 --> 00:58:00,140
Give it to me baby,

1222
00:58:00,140 --> 00:58:01,825
yeah the camera loves you.

1223
00:58:01,825 --> 00:58:03,903
- Give a little love to the right one too.

1224
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:07,000
- Holy shit, we're gonna need a bigger lens.

1225
00:58:19,673 --> 00:58:21,400
(sighing)

1226
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:23,593
- Sometimes there's cock,

1227
00:58:24,610 --> 00:58:26,273
so quickly.

1228
00:58:27,220 --> 00:58:30,180
God speed you gorgeous queer boys.

1229
00:58:39,049 --> 00:58:41,966
(upbeat pop music)

1230
00:58:45,811 --> 00:58:48,728
♪ Get up and dance ♪

1231
00:59:00,313 --> 00:59:03,230
♪ Get up and dance ♪

1232
00:59:15,079 --> 00:59:17,996
♪ Get up and dance ♪

1233
00:59:30,020 --> 00:59:31,433
- That's it.

1234
00:59:31,433 --> 00:59:32,950
We can just leave right now.

1235
00:59:32,950 --> 00:59:34,330
If we get naked we can go blend in

1236
00:59:34,330 --> 00:59:35,280
with the other naked pledges,

1237
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:36,710
and the cops won't know who is who.

1238
00:59:36,710 --> 00:59:37,970
- But then how would we get our clothes

1239
00:59:37,970 --> 00:59:39,123
to go find Beverly?

1240
00:59:40,340 --> 00:59:42,380
- We can just throw our clothes out the back window.

1241
00:59:42,380 --> 00:59:43,780
Let's sneak out another way.

1242
00:59:46,130 --> 00:59:47,247
We've got this.

1243
00:59:47,247 --> 00:59:51,390
- I am the law mister, and the law is not mocked.

1244
00:59:51,390 --> 00:59:53,690
- Actually, through a university loophole,

1245
00:59:53,690 --> 00:59:56,210
only campus law extends to this frat house,

1246
00:59:56,210 --> 01:00:00,459
and we are free to do whatever we like on this property.

1247
01:00:00,459 --> 01:00:02,188
- I'm hunting down a fugitive,

1248
01:00:02,188 --> 01:00:04,783
and you are obstructing a police investigation.

1249
01:00:04,783 --> 01:00:07,754
- I am a fraternity brother, and I will not be mocked.

1250
01:00:07,754 --> 01:00:10,671

1251
01:00:14,181 --> 01:00:17,820
♪ Get up and dance ♪

1252
01:00:17,820 --> 01:00:19,983
- Hey, those guys shouldn't be naked.

1253
01:00:29,071 --> 01:00:31,988
♪ Get up and dance ♪

1254
01:00:35,470 --> 01:00:36,780
- My car!

1255
01:00:36,780 --> 01:00:38,400
- So where are we going?

1256
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:39,570
- Gotta track down Beverly.

1257
01:00:39,570 --> 01:00:40,890
- Who's Beverly?

1258
01:00:40,890 --> 01:00:42,010
- My ex.

1259
01:00:42,010 --> 01:00:43,150
- Where is she, that harlot?

1260
01:00:43,150 --> 01:00:43,983
- We don't know.

1261
01:00:45,669 --> 01:00:47,330
- But I have a good guess.

1262
01:00:47,330 --> 01:00:48,830
If I know Beverly,

1263
01:00:48,830 --> 01:00:50,880
she got herself a pumpkin spice latte

1264
01:00:50,880 --> 01:00:53,350
and went to get her nails done, and a facial.

1265
01:00:53,350 --> 01:00:55,070
- She better not be spending my fucking diamonds

1266
01:00:55,070 --> 01:00:56,260
on a face scrub.

1267
01:00:56,260 --> 01:00:57,960
- Oh, she sounds terrible.

1268
01:00:57,960 --> 01:00:59,170
- She is.

1269
01:00:59,170 --> 01:01:00,670
- Then why are we going to see her?

1270
01:01:00,670 --> 01:01:02,690
- She stole our diamonds, she stole our plane tickets,

1271
01:01:02,690 --> 01:01:03,523
and we're gonna get them back,

1272
01:01:03,523 --> 01:01:04,783
and then we're going to Hawaii.

1273
01:01:05,940 --> 01:01:07,210
- There's only one place in town

1274
01:01:07,210 --> 01:01:09,950
Beverly could be this time of day.

1275
01:01:09,950 --> 01:01:11,063
Wonder Spa.

1276
01:01:34,340 --> 01:01:35,680
- Hello gentlemen.

1277
01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:36,890
Welcome to Wonder Spa,

1278
01:01:36,890 --> 01:01:39,120
where every woman is a queen.

1279
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:40,790
How can I help you?

1280
01:01:40,790 --> 01:01:43,250
- Yes, we're looking for our friend.

1281
01:01:43,250 --> 01:01:44,140
We want to see her,

1282
01:01:44,140 --> 01:01:46,203
her name is Beverly.

1283
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:50,470
- I'm sorry sir, but gentlemen are not allowed

1284
01:01:50,470 --> 01:01:51,680
inside Wonder Spa.

1285
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:54,520
It's a female-only environment.

1286
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:55,353
- It's cool.

1287
01:01:56,420 --> 01:01:58,090
We ain't gentlemen.

1288
01:01:58,090 --> 01:02:00,310
- That just may be, but I should have said

1289
01:02:00,310 --> 01:02:02,630
that there are no men of any kind

1290
01:02:02,630 --> 01:02:04,450
allowed to enter the Wonder Spa.

1291
01:02:04,450 --> 01:02:05,293
- Ma'am,

1292
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:08,350
we're gay.

1293
01:02:08,350 --> 01:02:09,233
- I'm not.

1294
01:02:10,250 --> 01:02:11,113
- Not the point.

1295
01:02:12,050 --> 01:02:13,550
- I'm sorry.

1296
01:02:13,550 --> 01:02:16,560
You're men, gay, gentle,

1297
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:18,293
whatever, you're men.

1298
01:02:19,490 --> 01:02:21,240
- We don't have time for this shit.

1299
01:02:24,561 --> 01:02:26,061
- Hold on, Sparky.

1300
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:29,000
Hello Miss.

1301
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:31,740
I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding.

1302
01:02:31,740 --> 01:02:34,740
We are so sorry to bother you.

1303
01:02:34,740 --> 01:02:36,420
You see, what had happened was,

1304
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,900
Miss Beverly texted me and she wanted me

1305
01:02:38,900 --> 01:02:39,750
to bring her some

1306
01:02:43,249 --> 01:02:44,082
tampons.

1307
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:47,520
It is her time of the month,

1308
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,580
and she's leakin' like a ripe peach.

1309
01:02:50,580 --> 01:02:52,320
I have them here in my purse.

1310
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:53,690
I'd like to deliver them.

1311
01:02:53,690 --> 01:02:56,030
- Well why didn't you say so in the first place?

1312
01:02:56,030 --> 01:02:58,200
You can come with me Miss.

1313
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:00,233
Boys, you stay here.

1314
01:03:21,621 --> 01:03:23,038
- He he he he he.

1315
01:03:33,820 --> 01:03:34,770
- [Pinata] Beverly?

1316
01:03:35,709 --> 01:03:37,292
- Yes, who are you?

1317
01:03:40,930 --> 01:03:43,163
- Your most flawless nightmare.

1318
01:03:52,090 --> 01:03:53,150
- Okay.

1319
01:03:53,150 --> 01:03:55,430
- Nobody messes with my boy Chuck, Beverly.

1320
01:03:55,430 --> 01:03:57,560
You need to know that.

1321
01:04:05,154 --> 01:04:05,987
- Who are you?

1322
01:04:05,987 --> 01:04:07,580
- That's not important Beverly.

1323
01:04:07,580 --> 01:04:08,960
Where are the diamonds?

1324
01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:09,793
- What?

1325
01:04:18,457 --> 01:04:19,837
- The diamonds, Beverly.

1326
01:04:19,837 --> 01:04:21,504
- Holy fucking shit!

1327
01:04:22,346 --> 01:04:24,759
They're right there in my purse.

1328
01:04:24,759 --> 01:04:25,592
Just stop.

1329
01:04:33,770 --> 01:04:35,250
- Cut it out.

1330
01:04:35,250 --> 01:04:37,850
If you tease 'em like that, they'll follow you home.

1331
01:04:44,950 --> 01:04:47,363
- Insert witty one-liner here.

1332
01:04:51,660 --> 01:04:52,850
I've got 'em boys.

1333
01:04:52,850 --> 01:04:53,840
Let's jam.

1334
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:55,030
- You did it?

1335
01:04:55,030 --> 01:04:58,273
- Always send a drag queen to do a man's job.

1336
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:01,490
- Ah Pinata.

1337
01:05:01,490 --> 01:05:02,550
You're amazing.

1338
01:05:02,550 --> 01:05:04,713
- No, you.

1339
01:05:08,330 --> 01:05:09,163
- Hawaii.

1340
01:05:13,460 --> 01:05:15,293
- Time to surrender rump rangers.

1341
01:05:18,340 --> 01:05:21,290
- No guns allowed in Wonder Spa,

1342
01:05:21,290 --> 01:05:22,740
where every woman is a queen.

1343
01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:32,164
- Give up, or I will waste this hostage.

1344
01:05:32,164 --> 01:05:32,997
- What?

1345
01:05:32,997 --> 01:05:33,830
- She'll do it.

1346
01:05:33,830 --> 01:05:34,880
She's crazy.

1347
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:39,100
- Please do not threaten the clientele of Wonder Spa,

1348
01:05:39,100 --> 01:05:40,673
where every woman is a queen.

1349
01:05:45,709 --> 01:05:47,733
(screaming)

1350
01:05:47,733 --> 01:05:49,365
- God damn it.

1351
01:05:49,365 --> 01:05:50,880
(guns firing)

1352
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:55,200
- There is no discharging of any weapons of any caliber

1353
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:59,166
at Wonder Spa, where every woman is a queen.

1354
01:05:59,166 --> 01:06:02,166
(heavy metal music)

1355
01:07:14,540 --> 01:07:17,323
- She bitch, I do not want to hurt you.

1356
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:19,113
- But I do.

1357
01:07:22,358 --> 01:07:23,191
Ow.

1358
01:07:26,020 --> 01:07:29,313
- Prepare the hot wax, it's Brazilian time.

1359
01:07:44,690 --> 01:07:45,940
- Are you coming with us?

1360
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:55,703
- I guess you will be.

1361
01:08:03,990 --> 01:08:05,260
- Hello?

1362
01:08:05,260 --> 01:08:06,790
This is Vargas.

1363
01:08:06,790 --> 01:08:08,400
I need to put out an APB

1364
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:10,680
on some perps who've blown the scene,

1365
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:12,253
and possibly each other.

1366
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:16,360
Right yes, according to the officers on the scene,

1367
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:19,590
it's a couple of go-go dancers with assless chaps,

1368
01:08:19,590 --> 01:08:21,960
and a wanton whore of the evening,

1369
01:08:21,960 --> 01:08:23,700
with lips for days.

1370
01:08:23,700 --> 01:08:25,480
You know what they say, right?

1371
01:08:25,480 --> 01:08:28,380
Luscious lips sink ships.

1372
01:08:28,380 --> 01:08:29,670
They do say that.

1373
01:08:29,670 --> 01:08:31,460
And from what I understand,

1374
01:08:31,460 --> 01:08:34,360
everybody on the scene was going down on each other,

1375
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:36,130
like a god damn Titanic.

1376
01:08:36,130 --> 01:08:39,470
I'm talking bullets and blowjobs everywhere man.

1377
01:08:39,470 --> 01:08:41,743
We need these criminals found.

1378
01:08:43,790 --> 01:08:46,050
What do you mean, where was I?

1379
01:08:46,050 --> 01:08:48,170
I was in the god damn bathroom.

1380
01:08:48,170 --> 01:08:50,560
You ever use the bathroom?

1381
01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:54,320
You try living on a diet of stale donuts,

1382
01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:56,093
and bargain basement black coffee.

1383
01:08:57,162 --> 01:08:59,280
But that's life in the precinct,

1384
01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:01,940
life on the beat.

1385
01:09:01,940 --> 01:09:04,110
Do you know who you're talking to?

1386
01:09:04,110 --> 01:09:07,750
I have seen some shit man, some shit.

1387
01:09:07,750 --> 01:09:08,870
You know what?

1388
01:09:08,870 --> 01:09:10,990
I don't have to listen to this from you.

1389
01:09:10,990 --> 01:09:13,310
You go get those jockstrap motherfuckers,

1390
01:09:13,310 --> 01:09:14,560
and stop wasting my time.

1391
01:09:17,402 --> 01:09:19,898
Cut to the god damn credits.

1392
01:09:19,898 --> 01:09:22,898
(upbeat jazz music)

1393
01:12:17,528 --> 01:12:20,445
(faint rock music)

1394
01:12:39,870 --> 01:12:40,703
- Hi.

1395
01:12:41,960 --> 01:12:42,793
- Hi.

1396
01:12:45,280 --> 01:12:46,533
- I think I love you.

1397
01:12:51,874 --> 01:12:52,707
- I know.