1 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,180 This isn't exactly a letter. 2 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:40,800 It's more like a confession. 3 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,200 You read shoes? 4 00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:54,200 I always had this dream of doing something really brave. 5 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,220 Stepping out of real life into thin air. 6 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:15,700 After years of dreaming about it, I actually mustered up the nerve to do it. 7 00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,980 And it changed my life forever. 8 00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:24,620 Not the jump, but the courage it took. 9 00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:02,420 Relax. 10 00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:38,050 Looking down on the ground below, I felt like I was floating above my whole life. 11 00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:42,110 It suddenly became very clear. 12 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,050 Vivid. 13 00:04:47,490 --> 00:04:49,710 I could feel how unhappy I was. 14 00:04:51,770 --> 00:04:52,850 How frightened. 15 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:56,110 How resigned. 16 00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:59,070 How much I had compromised. 17 00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:15,950 I've been living a lie. 18 00:05:19,730 --> 00:05:20,730 Pretending. 19 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,250 Pretending to be the perfect girlfriend. 20 00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,720 Beautiful. Show me your favorite part. 21 00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,740 It's like I was an actress playing a role. 22 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,120 Every part. 23 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:29,920 Every solitary interview. 24 00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:34,320 Acting the way he wanted me to act. 25 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,060 Doing things I would otherwise never do. 26 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:46,760 Strip teas and champagne shows. 27 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,660 Just going through the motions. 28 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:53,880 All of it a lie. 29 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,140 Seriously, before the jump, that's the way my life went. 30 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:04,720 I could find a reason, no matter how irrational, not to do anything for me. 31 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:14,360 I was paralyzed, seriously paralyzed, frightened, 32 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,120 complacent, 33 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:23,280 pretending to be something I wasn't. 34 00:08:04,219 --> 00:08:05,700 Now tell me what you feel. 35 00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:51,460 a message on the machine and I forgot to call her back. 36 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:55,660 I'm sorry. 37 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,380 Pretending to be in love. 38 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,220 Pretending to be happy. 39 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,400 Pretending, pretending, pretending. 40 00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:23,500 I'm here to keep up my name. 41 00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:11,220 Sorry, baby. 42 00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:13,160 I really didn't expect it. 43 00:10:14,140 --> 00:10:15,140 Yeah, 44 00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:16,540 I love Max. Don't worry. 45 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,700 I know you do. 46 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,820 Squeezed my eyes shut, pretended I was jumping. 47 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,540 Fearless and exhilarated. 48 00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:07,140 And I thought about him. 49 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:09,280 My instructor. 50 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,360 The way he made me feel. 51 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,220 Safe and brave at the same time. 52 00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:23,220 Secure. 53 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,660 Comfortable and joyful. 54 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:29,900 And happy. 55 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,100 Imagine that, I actually felt happy. 56 00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:39,540 I went back again and again. 57 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,380 I couldn't get enough. 58 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:44,740 Enough of him. 59 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:54,140 Every jump I made, I became a little braver and a little happier. 60 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,280 No plans. 61 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,000 No future. No pressure. 62 00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:09,600 No right or wrong, just happy. 63 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:20,060 She told me it was her way of feeling alive. 64 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,480 And when we talked, we actually talked to one another. 65 00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:44,180 She had it all. 66 00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:46,620 Beauty. 67 00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,080 Grace. Charm. 68 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,680 Intelligence. 69 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,160 You were honest. 70 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,520 Totally and completely honest. 71 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:11,640 Of course, the more we saw each other. 72 00:15:13,550 --> 00:15:14,550 The closer we became. 73 00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:22,830 I asked her if she'd let him know what she was feeling. She said she didn't 74 00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:23,830 want to hurt him. 75 00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:27,710 But I made it clear to her that I couldn't save her. 76 00:15:31,170 --> 00:15:33,370 That that was something she had to do herself. 77 00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:57,830 I took him to the place where I felt most brave. 78 00:16:00,490 --> 00:16:06,310 You know, I can't believe you're actually going to be my wife. 79 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,570 The man I was about to marry. 80 00:16:10,790 --> 00:16:13,170 You have no idea how good this is for me. 81 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:18,070 The man I wanted to love, but didn't. 82 00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:20,910 I'm taking you someplace. 83 00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:25,050 A special place where we can talk. 84 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,780 A place with nothing but silence. 85 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,420 No kids. 86 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:35,500 No phones. 87 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:37,380 Just you and me. 88 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,420 I was scared to death, but I did it. 89 00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:11,099 And he listened. 90 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,440 He understood. 91 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:30,340 I knew then that I wasn't escaping my life, I was finding it. 92 00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:44,480 So I take it this means you're not going to be my wife. 93 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,420 I'm not going to be anyone's perfect anything for a long time. 94 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:58,580 It was like I had taken all the little fears and went right to the thing that 95 00:17:58,580 --> 00:17:59,580 frightened me the most. 96 00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:08,800 And once I conquered it, that one big fear, everything else seemed 97 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:09,800 to fall into place. 98 00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:15,720 We became great friends. 99 00:23:16,940 --> 00:23:18,320 My instructor and me. 100 00:23:20,740 --> 00:23:23,380 Lovers, but more importantly, the best of friends. 101 00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:26,560 Partners that are fun. 102 00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:29,620 Do you hear what I said, Red Shoes? 103 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:31,960 Fun. 104 00:23:32,660 --> 00:23:34,280 The biggest miracle of all. 105 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:43,290 Anyway, Red Shoes, if you ever paint yourself into a corner, into a place 106 00:23:43,290 --> 00:23:44,790 where you can't find your way out. 107 00:23:45,330 --> 00:23:47,910 My advice to you is to just shut your eyes and jump. 108 00:23:51,850 --> 00:23:52,850 So, jump. 109 00:23:53,630 --> 00:23:54,930 Jump? Jump.