1 00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,690 Dear Red Shoes, I don't keep a diary. 2 00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:03,950 Even this is difficult for me. 3 00:02:04,430 --> 00:02:07,070 Not to tell you my story, but to write a letter. 4 00:02:07,550 --> 00:02:11,710 To write subjectively. To try and express emotions as words. 5 00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:14,390 You see, I was trained to repress emotion. 6 00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:19,110 To think, behave, and account for my actions with the barest minimum of 7 00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:23,510 words. But what I found out about myself through this experience is that I'm 8 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,730 actually quite good with words. 9 00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:29,240 pushed against the wall, I think I could talk anybody into just about anything. 10 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,440 So it'll be good, Stella. 11 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,280 Do you work out? 12 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:39,460 Of course you do. I don't know a single person in the city who doesn't go to the 13 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,460 gym. 14 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,960 But maybe that's because I'm always there, seven days a week, whenever I'm 15 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:44,960 not working. 16 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,260 I love looking at men's bodies. 17 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:59,720 I mean, love looking at men's bodies. 18 00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:06,480 Biceps, torsos, hamstrings, 19 00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:08,420 abs. 20 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:16,440 And like 98% of the faithful, I'm here to check out and to be 21 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:17,440 checked out. 22 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:44,340 There is, however, that 2% of the faithful who go to the gym simply to 23 00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:45,340 work out. 24 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,840 The super dedicated. 25 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,860 The ones who never look at anyone else. 26 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,860 Not even themselves. 27 00:03:57,020 --> 00:04:02,260 At the Westside Body Connection, that 2% was a racquetball player. 28 00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:04,460 His name was Nick. 29 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,160 Nick Willett. 30 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,560 That was all I knew about him. 31 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,440 He wasn't like anybody else in the gym. 32 00:04:16,260 --> 00:04:21,800 He was the only man in two years of coming to the gym who never noticed me. 33 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:23,880 Never. 34 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:32,640 Three times a week, he'd show up at the gym, beat somebody, and leave. 35 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:43,800 And those eyes. 36 00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:47,280 Those beautiful eyes. 37 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,580 He was an extraordinary being. 38 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:02,120 To meet him, I had to employ extraordinary means. 39 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,000 There was no way he wasn't going to notice me tonight. 40 00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:18,600 I'd already gone too far. 41 00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:21,040 I was committed. 42 00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:23,860 There was no turning back. 43 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,980 In for a penny, in for a pound. 44 00:05:29,420 --> 00:05:34,820 Like my daddy used to say, anything worth doing is worth doing right. 45 00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:48,320 License and registration, please. 46 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,440 Did it change the speed limit here? 47 00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:00,780 Nick Willard? 48 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,100 That's you? 49 00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:04,380 Ma'am. Yes, officer. 50 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,960 Would you step out of the car, please, Mr. Willard? 51 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,860 You know you haven't broken the ally? 52 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:25,220 No. 53 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:26,900 I didn't this morning. 54 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,200 Step up to the curb, please. 55 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:30,960 I beg your pardon? 56 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,400 Step up to the curb, please. 57 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:35,780 I beg your pardon, officer. What for? 58 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,340 Arms out at your sides. 59 00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:50,790 Head back, eyes closed. 60 00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:53,350 Just tip your nose with your right index finger. 61 00:06:58,270 --> 00:07:00,670 Okay, Mr. Willard, I've seen enough. Step over to the fence. 62 00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:03,150 Excuse me? Step over to the fence. 63 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,990 I think you owe me some sort of explanation. 64 00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,390 Put your hands up on the fence. Spread your legs. 65 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:18,390 What's the charge? 66 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,640 Driving with a broken taillight. 67 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,300 Violation of vehicle code 24600. 68 00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:29,160 You're risking me for a broken taillight? Keep it forward, Mr. Willett. 69 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,920 Place your right hand behind your neck. 70 00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:38,100 Now the left. 71 00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:41,220 This is ridiculous. 72 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,620 What the fuck is this? 73 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,240 You're digging yourself a hole here, Mr. Willett. 74 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:57,620 I mean, you're arresting me for a traffic misdemeanor? 75 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,740 Aren't you going to read me my rights? 76 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,160 Want to hear your rights? 77 00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:11,680 You have the right to remain silent. 78 00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:28,230 I took him to an artist's loft in the middle of the city. 79 00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:31,150 A place we'd done a drug bust the night before. 80 00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:33,650 I know. 81 00:08:33,870 --> 00:08:35,010 I must have been crazy. 82 00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:37,309 Putting my job on the line. 83 00:08:37,669 --> 00:08:39,250 Abusing the authority of my badge. 84 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:42,570 But I'd thought about it. 85 00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:45,170 This was the only way. 86 00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,270 I have $200 in my wallet. Take it. 87 00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:51,170 Take my watch, whatever you want. 88 00:08:57,610 --> 00:08:58,810 why I chose the place. 89 00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:02,750 Maybe because I felt it was the place he belonged. 90 00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:06,410 I could see him there on opening night. 91 00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:09,510 With all those models. 92 00:09:11,230 --> 00:09:12,870 All those well-dressed people. 93 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:18,050 And then there were the chairs. 94 00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:20,690 You like art, Nick? 95 00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:28,720 I don't know much about it, but lately it's just... It's gotten under my skin, 96 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:29,499 you know? 97 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:35,620 And there's a guy who spends $28 million and builds some yellow umbrellas out in 98 00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:36,559 the desert. 99 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,280 Take them down in three weeks. 100 00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:40,540 Can you imagine that? 101 00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:44,580 What's that compared to barber chairs? 102 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,420 Gigs up, Costello. 103 00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:48,460 Gangsters. 104 00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:50,620 Games. 105 00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,820 one of those singing telegrams. 106 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:25,680 Shhh. 107 00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:31,440 Rule number one. 108 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,080 I talk, you listen. 109 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,400 This is my game. 110 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,000 Play by the rule. 111 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:49,880 My rule. 112 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,760 You look good, Nick. 113 00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:08,280 I mean, you always look good, but tonight you look especially good. 114 00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:19,980 Do I know you? 115 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,480 No. 116 00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:26,360 You don't know me. 117 00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:48,140 You don't know me. I'm just a woman, just like every other woman. 118 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,620 Why should you know me? 119 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,420 That's what I've got to tell you. You don't strike me as an average woman. 120 00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:06,160 Thank you, Nick. 121 00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,580 I appreciate you saying that. 122 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,320 That's why you're here. 123 00:12:13,870 --> 00:12:18,270 I'm going to convince you that I'm not an average woman. 124 00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:22,990 Aren't you even going to ask me my name? 125 00:12:24,550 --> 00:12:25,550 McCabe. 126 00:12:25,890 --> 00:12:26,890 It's on your badge. 127 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:33,130 So, you do notice things. 128 00:12:34,870 --> 00:12:36,470 How about remember things? 129 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,690 Would you remember my first name if I told it to you? 130 00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:42,410 It's office. 131 00:12:51,819 --> 00:12:53,540 My friends call me Lynn. 132 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:07,520 Aren't you worried about me turning you in, Lynn? 133 00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:16,110 Turn me in, Nick, if you want to. 134 00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:22,730 But I don't think you want to. 135 00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:26,970 Think of the humiliation. 136 00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:32,950 Wouldn't do your career much good now, would it, Nick? 137 00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:50,510 A lawyer? 138 00:13:54,590 --> 00:14:01,450 You look like a lawyer. 139 00:14:14,090 --> 00:14:18,710 Because, Nick, beneath its uniform, 140 00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:23,730 you may not like what you see. 141 00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:28,290 Then again, Lynn, am I? 142 00:14:33,730 --> 00:14:37,790 Now, you see, Nick, you made it perfectly clear. 143 00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:41,610 I'm not up to your standards. 144 00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:45,620 When was that? 145 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,240 Every day. 146 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,340 Five days a week. 147 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,580 The past two years. 148 00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:58,300 Working out at the same gym. 149 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,260 Never once noticed me. 150 00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:07,440 Not a nod. 151 00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:11,540 Not a hello. 152 00:15:14,090 --> 00:15:16,310 You didn't even recognize me when I pulled you over. 153 00:15:17,270 --> 00:15:19,950 I go to the gym to play racquetball, not to flirt. 154 00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,910 So, where do you do your flirting, Nick? 155 00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:29,250 I don't. 156 00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:31,970 I work. 157 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:34,410 I work out. 158 00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:36,770 And I work. 159 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,370 Do you work with the same intensity that you play racquetball? 160 00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:41,990 Put it this way. 161 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,110 I never lose. 162 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:49,650 Really? 163 00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:52,990 Do you make love with the same intensity? 164 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,590 You know, I've always wondered if it's the same thing. 165 00:15:58,510 --> 00:16:05,410 Damina takes, let's just say, run a marathon, play two hours 166 00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:10,330 of racquetball, staying power in bed. 167 00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:26,450 I used to run long distance. 168 00:16:28,650 --> 00:16:30,110 But it's hard on a woman. 169 00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:32,730 It affects her metabolism. 170 00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:39,530 Sometimes women's bodies are too thin. 171 00:16:43,530 --> 00:16:44,590 So I've heard. 172 00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:49,770 What else have you heard about women, Nick? 173 00:16:52,030 --> 00:16:53,150 What else do you know? 174 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,080 Do you know how attractive you are to them? 175 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,319 You should hear what they say about you in the women's locker room. 176 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,359 You should hear their fantasies. 177 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,500 I'd like to hear your fantasies, Nick. 178 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,960 Do you ever fantasize about women in uniform? 179 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:23,700 Candy stripe. 180 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:27,560 I was having my tonsils out. 181 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,060 No, Nick. I mean, don't you like to play dress-up? 182 00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:36,180 I do. I do it all the time. 183 00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:44,560 Some men really understand what it's like to play dress-up. 184 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,100 My father did. 185 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,380 He was a sergeant major in the Marine Corps. 186 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,060 Dad, I was such a disappointment. 187 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:03,760 Why? 188 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:07,840 You should have been a boy. 189 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:11,760 Lynn. 190 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,840 I'm glad you're not a boy. 191 00:18:28,170 --> 00:18:29,170 Not glad enough. 192 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,620 You're really good friends. 193 00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:00,620 What do they call you? 194 00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:08,420 You can call me Linny, Nick. 195 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:09,680 No. 196 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,920 You're really good friends. 197 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,020 Mona. 198 00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:29,620 My real name's Mona. 199 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,160 Mona. 200 00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,100 Lynn. 201 00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:41,860 Okay. 202 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:52,380 The question 203 00:20:52,380 --> 00:20:57,600 is, do you believe in safe sex? 204 00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:01,910 I do. 205 00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:07,810 In this day and age, it would be irresponsible not to. Don't you think? 206 00:21:09,430 --> 00:21:16,190 I spent over 45 minutes in the drugstore today trying to decide which brand to 207 00:21:16,190 --> 00:21:17,190 buy. 208 00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:20,550 I spoke with both pharmacists. 209 00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:27,410 All those colors. 210 00:21:34,070 --> 00:21:39,710 textures. I hope the one I chose doesn't disappoint you. 211 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:10,920 Listen. Mona. 212 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:13,540 Good. 213 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,600 That's... That's good, Nick. 214 00:22:17,860 --> 00:22:19,200 That's very good. 215 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:27,560 On a scale from 1 to 10 now, I'd say I, uh, gained 216 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:28,560 a few points. 217 00:22:42,860 --> 00:22:43,860 All set. 218 00:22:48,540 --> 00:22:52,440 And now, we wait. 219 00:22:56,780 --> 00:22:57,780 Wait for what? 220 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,440 Rule number two. 221 00:23:12,590 --> 00:23:19,070 I wait for you to ask me to make love to you. 222 00:23:22,090 --> 00:23:25,750 I don't do anything unless you ask me to. 223 00:23:33,090 --> 00:23:34,870 You know anything about men? 224 00:23:36,390 --> 00:23:39,550 You know that my temporary physical condition... 225 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,560 Doesn't necessarily mean that I want to make love to you. 226 00:23:46,340 --> 00:23:53,120 My cleaning lady, my bank teller, my Aunt Louise, all give 227 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,120 me hard-ons. 228 00:23:56,620 --> 00:23:58,320 Doesn't mean I want to make love to them. 229 00:24:10,740 --> 00:24:12,420 Tell me that you... cleaning lady. 230 00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:16,600 Your bank teller. 231 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:18,960 Yeah, Louise. 232 00:24:20,380 --> 00:24:21,500 They've never been 233 00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:47,700 Thanks, Jill. 234 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:28,980 You broke the rules, Officer McCabe. 235 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,580 Who gives a fuck? 236 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,360 I hope you enjoyed yourself. 237 00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:45,020 Get involved with me. 238 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,240 You surrendered to me. 239 00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:03,980 Your every thought. 240 00:26:04,540 --> 00:26:07,140 All of it. 241 00:26:08,820 --> 00:26:11,020 They belong to me. 242 00:27:08,910 --> 00:27:13,010 But it started out as a battle, quickly escalated into a war. 243 00:27:14,690 --> 00:27:16,650 Neither of us willing to give up control. 244 00:27:19,250 --> 00:27:22,110 As soon as we stopped making love, we'd start again. 245 00:27:23,150 --> 00:27:27,210 Over and over and over again. 246 00:27:28,030 --> 00:27:34,110 Until eventually, mister, I'd go to the gym to work out, not to flirt. 247 00:27:34,310 --> 00:27:35,710 It started to crack. 248 00:27:36,810 --> 00:27:38,270 To a point where... 249 00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:39,890 You know what? 250 00:27:40,790 --> 00:27:42,930 I actually think he began to like me. 251 00:28:08,430 --> 00:28:09,430 Shit. 252 00:28:09,490 --> 00:28:11,070 Look, it's been a month now. 253 00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:12,770 We've got to go back to work. 254 00:28:13,030 --> 00:28:16,550 Bullshit. From now on, we're going to have a normal relationship, you and me. 255 00:28:16,950 --> 00:28:20,470 Bullshit. I'm going to buy you a lingerie and a dress and a car, anything 256 00:28:20,470 --> 00:28:22,890 you want. I'm going to take you to dinner. I'm going to pay for it. 257 00:28:22,990 --> 00:28:26,450 Bullshit. We're going to go to bed at 11 like normal fucking people and watch the 258 00:28:26,450 --> 00:28:27,389 fucking news. 259 00:28:27,390 --> 00:28:30,750 We're going to go to Ohio and I'm going to meet your grandma and she's going to 260 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,310 like me and I'm going to like her. 261 00:28:35,330 --> 00:28:36,330 Just like normal. 262 00:28:38,090 --> 00:28:39,090 Let's pray. 263 00:29:09,710 --> 00:29:12,530 Like my daddy said, play to win. 264 00:29:13,610 --> 00:29:19,190 And never, ever give up control. 265 00:29:20,710 --> 00:29:21,850 Never give up control. 266 00:29:23,010 --> 00:29:24,410 Never give up control. 267 00:29:25,350 --> 00:29:26,650 Maybe for a little while. 268 00:29:27,430 --> 00:29:29,290 But in the end, somebody's going to lose. 269 00:29:30,730 --> 00:29:32,710 And the harder you play, the harder you fall. 270 00:29:35,230 --> 00:29:36,990 But at least they got it out in the open. 271 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,320 At least they're facing it head on. 272 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:53,080 So, tell me, Stella, what do you do? You're flirting.