1 00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:06,250 Top Gear 9x04 TransGear subtitle team the Sim-Race Federation of China www.srfc.com.cn 2 00:00:06,250 --> 00:00:11,388 Crew Transcript: RS4, bitcars, catchup Translation: RS4, bitcars, catchup, FXCarl Time line: bitcars, catchup 3 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:16,220 Tonight, one small stumble for man as we build a space-shuttle 4 00:00:16,220 --> 00:00:20,600 I drive a nuclear bomb disguised in a Mercedes 5 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:25,000 And Simon Pegg makes a Hot Fuzz in our reasonably priced car 6 00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:25,907 Help! 7 00:00:35,087 --> 00:00:37,543 You're wrong, you're wrong. 8 00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:41,700 Hello and welcome to an arguement 9 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:47,320 You see, there are two types of petrolhead 10 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,500 You've got idots like this who like the Porsche 911 11 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:55,150 and you got people like me who'd rather have anthrax than a 911 cause I'm a Ferrari-person 12 00:00:55,150 --> 00:00:57,020 Yes. But when you actually owned a Ferrari 13 00:00:57,020 --> 00:01:00,150 you couldn't leave it parked on the street, go have a dinner really or anything 14 00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:01,850 cause you'd spend the whole meal worrying about 15 00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:04,750 who is bumping into it or carving their names into its precious painting 16 00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:07,750 That's true. I once left the roof off, it was so full of phlegm when I got back. 17 00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:08,870 You could've swam home, but 18 00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:11,000 Exactly, and therefore as a result of that 19 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,020 it'd spend its entire life carrying in your home or your garage 20 00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:16,500 And when you are eventually brave enough to wanna use it 21 00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:18,700 by that time, the battery was flat. It was hopeless. 22 00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:22,670 Yes, I know. But a Ferrari with a flat-battery is an aesthetic thing 23 00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,250 You could enjoy looking at it. That's the... 24 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,700 Yes, but it's not moving 25 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:29,370 That's why I love the 911 because you can use it everyday to go to places 26 00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:30,770 It's a car! 27 00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:37,314 And now there is a new turbo version which we asked him to drive and hope he'd see the light 28 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,600 This is the biggest 911-turbo they've ever made 29 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,670 but it's still no longer than a Toyota Prius 30 00:01:52,670 --> 00:01:56,000 no wider than a 3-series BMW 31 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,400 And unlike a normal super car 32 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,900 it doesn't have Marilyn Monroe hips 33 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:07,700 so it doesn't get stuck in multi-storey car parks 34 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:15,170 What's more, it's not like threading through traffic in a post box 35 00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:19,370 in a Ferrari, you can't really see where the buses are, so you got problem up 36 00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:21,120 but in this, you can 37 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:27,700 In a Ferrari, you'd be forever worried about scrunching the nose on a speed hump 38 00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:30,420 but not in a 911 39 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:34,200 And it doesn't even harm the sky very much either 40 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:38,320 It may have a flat-6 twin turbo engine 41 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:42,420 but it only produces 300 carbondioxides 42 00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:46,400 that's 100 less than you'd get from the back of a Ferrari 430 43 00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:51,520 If you drive this car through a really polluted city 44 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,670 Los Angeles, /, /, something like that 45 00:02:54,670 --> 00:03:00,800 the gas coming out of the exhause pipes is less toxic than the air going into the engine 46 00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:03,770 and I'm not joking. That's true 47 00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:11,250 This then is like a small efficient easy-to-use vacuum cleaner 48 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,820 I should have called it a Porsche-Dyson 49 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,150 And it will suck up your luggage too because 50 00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:23,020 unlike any other supercar its boot is easily big enough for you weekly shop 51 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,170 There is the peach and peacock 52 00:03:26,170 --> 00:03:28,870 the corner stone of any Porsche driver's Sunday lunch 53 00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:35,350 and there's still room left over for the ice-cream made from the bones of you defeated squash opponent. 54 00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:40,720 And you can use this car on a school run because it has back seats. I mean obviously 55 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,400 You'd have to have fairly thin children 56 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,050 but then you would have because you've got a Porsche 911 57 00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:49,900 so you'd have a thin wife 58 00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:58,750 I'll conceive then there is no everyday situation that flummoxes a 911 turbo 59 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:06,700 And so because you can use it everyday its battery won't be flat when the moment is right 60 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:10,320 and you'll fancy your drive 61 00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:23,650 The new 911-turbo has special variable vane turbochargers that always work, whatever the rev is. 62 00:04:25,470 --> 00:04:28,350 You could even buy a specail overboost facility which 63 00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:31,920 for brief moments can deliver 500 torques 64 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,150 that gives you the very muscly feel 65 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:40,750 And it got a special new Four-Wheel-Drive system 66 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:44,350 that it doesn't allow any form of under or over steer 67 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:48,650 You just get so much grip that your eyes start to hurt 68 00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:57,970 like being in a capsule of speed 69 00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:02,070 So, when the sun goes down 70 00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:04,920 you could really get cracking 71 00:05:05,950 --> 00:05:11,770 OK. Let's engage the stability management program and put it in sport mode 72 00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:16,800 that changes things a bit 73 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,170 Now every time I turn the steering wheel 74 00:05:22,170 --> 00:05:26,250 it feels like I'm drawing a line through the laws of physics 75 00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:31,750 This is not driving, this is pure math 76 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:36,250 So how does it compare to my beloved Ferrari 77 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,620 Well, it has a smaller engine 78 00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:45,950 but because of the scramjet turbochargers 79 00:05:45,950 --> 00:05:52,500 it produces 480 BHP exactly what you get from a 430 80 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:59,600 But then this is lighter than the Ferrari thanks to aluminum doors which weigh just 11 Kg each 81 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,220 It's also 20,000 pounds less expensive 82 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,250 Sure, it isn't as exiting as the Ferrari 83 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,420 it's more about engineering than passion 84 00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:14,620 but I would admit the end results are astonishing 85 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,570 Let me give you some performance figures 86 00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:24,670 0-60 3.9 sec 87 00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:29,900 Top speed, near as makes no difference, 200 miles an hour 88 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:39,020 and this is my favourate, OK? 40-60 in 2nd gear, 1 sec 89 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:39,950 1! 90 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:52,720 It's amazing because it's not just more usable than a Ferrari more practical 91 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:59,520 But I think out here in the real world with crests and dips and bumps and blind browse 92 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,820 I think it's faster as well 93 00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:06,900 I really do 94 00:07:13,270 --> 00:07:15,620 Now, you see 95 00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:22,150 Ladies and gentlemen 96 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:27,520 we must all rejoice because Clarkson has finally caught the bug 97 00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:29,550 I still prefer the Ferrari 98 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:36,370 Well, hang on.You've just spend the last 6 minutes wasting our time telling us that's faster, more powerful, lighter 99 00:07:36,370 --> 00:07:37,800 and more practical 100 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,450 And cheaper. The thing is, now, I'm sorry 101 00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:44,000 that's like sitting in a Volkswagon beetle with mustard up its bottom 102 00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:49,000 Well, it's better than sitting there in a car that won't start but just looks a bit pretty. 103 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,370 Look, can we just... Can I say this arguement has been going on for 40 years 104 00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:55,120 It will go on for another 40 years. The correct place is in the pub 105 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,400 So we will do the news 106 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:00,350 No. Cause I've just thought of something else. OK? 107 00:08:00,350 --> 00:08:05,220 It's really simple. It's all to do with I have passion for the Ferrari. I respect that but I have pas... 108 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,600 It's like David Atombra 109 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:11,500 I respect David Atombra and we just infinitly respect in the same way we respect that car 110 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,970 but I have no passion for him. I don't wanna make love to him 111 00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:18,920 But I have respect and passion for the 911 112 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:23,320 There you are. You've just admit on TV you wanna make love to David Atombra 113 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,750 He has just said that. 114 00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:29,850 Your logic sometimes, mate, is the most / thing... 115 00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:30,970 Shut up! 116 00:08:31,950 --> 00:08:34,400 - OK? We should do the news. - Right. 117 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:38,350 And now the news. And we begin this week 118 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,250 with... 119 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,100 with the Porsche 911 120 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,820 more specifically 121 00:08:50,820 --> 00:08:54,170 the Porsche 911 GT3 RS 122 00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:55,520 Oh now, that's the business. 123 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,300 It's faster, it's lighter, it's tauter, it's possibly the ultimate 911 124 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:02,200 In the same way the Ebola is the ultimate tropical disease. 125 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,220 What's with all that scaffolding in there? 126 00:09:04,220 --> 00:09:06,320 It's a roll cage for when you take it on the race track 127 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,520 I'm sorry. If I see scaffolding around a building, I don't think that one's finished. 128 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,170 I'm sorry, actually they're unfinished. 129 00:09:11,170 --> 00:09:12,570 No, it's a roll cage. 130 00:09:12,570 --> 00:09:16,620 Look, I'll admit this is perhaps the only problem with this otherwise brilliant car is 131 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:18,670 that it's not the most practical 132 00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:20,370 If you wanna pop down to the newspaper shop, 133 00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:22,470 you've gotta clamber in over the roll cage 134 00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:23,970 lower yourself into the bucket seat 135 00:09:23,970 --> 00:09:26,020 do up the 6-point race harness 136 00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:28,000 prime the fire extinguisher system 137 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:28,770 it's gonna take time. 138 00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:32,820 So in the real world, my 1.2 Liter fiat panda is faster to the shops 139 00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:36,820 - No, mate, it's just not... - I only have to put the seat belt on once, 140 00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:37,900 You've got to do it 6 times. 141 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:41,020 OK. I've got to do that and then wait while you put you seat belts on and 142 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:43,850 then do all your pre-flight checks make sure the air vents are working... 143 00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:48,250 Can I just move this along? Do you mind? Is that alright? 144 00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:49,570 Coz I've got something that's really bugging me. 145 00:09:49,570 --> 00:09:52,470 Has anyone seem these average speed cameras they are kicking around now? 146 00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:53,370 Do you know what I mean? 147 00:09:53,370 --> 00:09:55,150 So you've got to do... I was xxx the M25 the other day, 148 00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:57,950 through the road works, had to do an average of 40 miles/h 149 00:09:57,951 --> 00:09:59,949 measured by 2 cameras, 1 at the beginning 1 at the end. 150 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:01,150 That's impossible 151 00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:03,370 It's impossible because you're driving along 152 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,770 and you sort of looking around and Oh god, I'm doing 42 coz I'm doing down hill 153 00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:10,500 You think that I've been doing that for half a mile so I need to do half a mile at 38 154 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,920 which means you could only look at the speedometer 155 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,150 You can't look at anything else only the speedometer 156 00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:18,020 You're going through road works in a m25 in the rain in rash hour. 157 00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:20,420 And I know what they're doing here. It's the government. 158 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:24,900 Gordon Brown has worked out that he's got to pay all our pensions coz we're gonna live for ever. 159 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,000 They are trying to kill us off. 160 00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:30,150 I know how to get round it, ok? Go pass the first camera, 161 00:10:30,150 --> 00:10:33,550 pull over, get the newspaper out, read it, listen to the radio for 10 mins. 162 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,370 do 120 for the rest way of it. 163 00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:37,700 That's not quite wrong actually. 164 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:41,720 Coz I can prove that the way to keep traffic moving through the road works 165 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:46,200 which is where those average cameras are is for everybody to go faster from the start.. 166 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:50,950 - Yeah. - It's all down to the work of the Swiss Physicist Daniel Bernoulli. You're familiar with him? 167 00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:51,370 Oh, him. 168 00:10:51,370 --> 00:10:53,020 - Thought so. - He isn't. 169 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:53,520 He is. 170 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,600 He's never heard of him. 171 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:59,950 But what he essentially proved was that in a system, the pressure and the volume multiplied together must be a constant, 172 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:03,870 so if you've got a busy motor way and it gets thinner, there's less space for the cars to go through 173 00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:07,200 they must go faster for the flow rate of cars to remain the same. 174 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,720 So it's like when you put your thumb over the end of a hose pipe, the water comes out quicker. 175 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:10,850 That's exactly what it's like, yeah. 176 00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:14,020 So how fast then if you take 3-lane motorway down to 1 lane? 177 00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:17,950 How fast does the traffic have to move in order to keep the flow rate the same? 178 00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:24,050 Well the formula would be Vn=Lo/Lr*Ve 179 00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:24,950 So how fast? 180 00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:26,370 It's 210 181 00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:29,350 - 210 miles/h. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen - Fair enough. 182 00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:32,870 All go and buy Bugattis and Zondas to cure congestion. 183 00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:40,470 Of course the big news this week that's been occupying all the bulletins is that 1.5 million people have signed this petition 184 00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:44,620 protesting about the plans to implement road charging, pay-as-you-go stuff. 185 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:49,220 Now if you want to add your name to that petition here is the address 186 00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:56,970 http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/traveltax/, ok? 187 00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,420 That's the address, now obviously, 188 00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:05,350 this being the BBC if you think road pricing is a good idea and you want to register you thoughts on that 189 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,000 This is the website too. There it is.(www.iamaclot.com) 190 00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:12,400 and best of luck with that. 191 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,650 The Mitsubishi Evo, we love that car, it's a great car, isn't it? 192 00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,450 Well this is the new one, the Evo 10, 193 00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:19,200 this is what it's probably gonna look like, 194 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,300 um they've loaded it with loads of technology again, 195 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:28,420 it's got all these initials, ACED, AYC,ASC, SAWC, MIVEC 196 00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:30,820 Good, yeah, keep talking like that... If that's got all the technologies, 197 00:12:30,820 --> 00:12:33,250 - I mean, really road-crushing technology. -It had to be there. 198 00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:34,970 And it looks as good as that. 199 00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:38,050 - Suddenly, why do you need super cars? - Yeah, why do you? Coz... 200 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,770 It looks like that and goes as well as it could, 201 00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:42,250 there is a slight warning associated with those cars there, 202 00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:45,050 because of all that technology, I mean when they really do, 203 00:12:45,050 --> 00:12:50,310 they're gonna be unflattering to drive, like one of those automatic pianos 204 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,270 where you play it and you take your hands off and it carries on playing 205 00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:54,650 there's a danger the cars are like that. 206 00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:57,300 If you get passengers with you and they are looking at you admiringly thinking: 207 00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,550 Wow what a brilliant driver, you're excellent! 208 00:12:59,550 --> 00:13:02,270 Don't take your hands off the wheel...coz... 209 00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:04,220 - It will keep going. - Then you'll look like an idiot. 210 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:10,320 And now, a couple of time, recently on the program, we've said that there'll never be a car to beat the Bugatti Veyron in our life time, 211 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:14,150 it's the ultimate expression of the automotive engineering, and will be for some time. 212 00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:17,100 Turns out, we might have been wrong, because look at this. 213 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,150 this is called the melling hell cat 214 00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:20,420 got some figures for you 215 00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:27,800 it's got a 6 liter quad-turbo V10, 1175 brake horse power, 216 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:32,000 and the top speed they're saying of 270 miles an hour. 217 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,800 - Oh rubbish. - What? 218 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,150 That's rubbish. I bet you that's not slippery enough. 219 00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:37,870 - You mean not aerodynamic enough? - Yeah. 220 00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:44,400 Can you please not ask me to be the one to find out. I just don't fancy it. 221 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,600 Hey, last week, did you see the American program last week? 222 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,120 You know we got into a spot of bothering a petrol station in Alabama? 223 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,620 Turned out we missed the trick. 224 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:55,250 Coz you know when that woman came out 225 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:59,120 and she said "Are you gay or looking to get beat up in a hip town or what?" 226 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,370 and I said "Oh no no, actually I¡¯m married with 3 children". 227 00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:04,350 If only you'd said "well, actually I¡¯m married with 2 children", 228 00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:07,000 we could have just pointed at the bachelor boy there. 229 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:10,320 "But the one with the long hair isn't." 230 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,920 Of course they would have kicked the snot out of him. 231 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,520 Chaps... 232 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,250 Yeah? 233 00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:16,970 News from the BBC, ok? 234 00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:20,950 If you're a BBC employee and you drive flea cars or hired cars, 235 00:14:20,950 --> 00:14:23,300 you've now got to go on a safe-driving program. 236 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:24,900 But we drive though, do we have to...? 237 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,200 We do, yes we do. 238 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:26,750 No way. 239 00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:27,720 I'm absolutely not kidding. 240 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:34,970 it says here that uh... BBC... driving is now acknowledged as one of the most serious work related health and safety issues. 241 00:14:34,970 --> 00:14:36,050 It isn't. 242 00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:38,850 it's just something that's more comfortable than walking. 243 00:14:38,850 --> 00:14:39,870 - Yes. - And then it goes on, 244 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:43,620 the BBC committed in reducing the risk associated with this activity. 245 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,850 They're making it sound like masturbation. 246 00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:47,570 Stop driving or go blind. 247 00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:48,100 Exactly. 248 00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:51,420 This is...just... I've got some of the questions and 249 00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:55,750 I¡¯d like to share some of the questions BBC employees have to face with you, ok? 250 00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:57,550 Ready? We'll bring them up on the screen here. 251 00:14:57,550 --> 00:15:00,550 You have a blow out on the motorway. One for you here, Hammond, 252 00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:05,800 what instinctive reaction should you avoid? 253 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:10,370 Accelerating. Tyre's gone, eeeeee... 254 00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:12,300 This is instinctive reactions? 255 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,350 Taking your hands off the steering wheel? 256 00:15:14,350 --> 00:15:15,250 Well, that'll help. 257 00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:19,450 They're just maniacs, they're just...I'm so irritated by this 258 00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:20,650 i can't believe it, and then 259 00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:26,420 Exceeding the speed limit in a built-up area is acceptable in vehicles fitted with anti-lock braking systems. 260 00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:29,800 You strongly disagree, disagree, agree or strongly agree. 261 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,100 It's not gonna be an excuse, is it? 262 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:35,670 Yeah, officer, it's ok, I¡¯ve done 110 through the village, I have ABS. 263 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,250 No ticket for me. 264 00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:40,170 Why are you looking angry with me, officer? 265 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,870 What's the primary hazard facing drivers when driving at night? 266 00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:45,500 Anyone wanna a hazard guess of that? 267 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:49,000 Hang on, this is.. go on...what? Yeah? What? 268 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,750 Dark? Anything else? 269 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:51,870 Germans. 270 00:15:51,870 --> 00:15:53,250 Germans? 271 00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,250 These are all valid points. 272 00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,850 None of these things are on my list. 273 00:15:56,850 --> 00:15:58,100 Anybody else got any thoughts? 274 00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:02,270 Peasants. 275 00:16:02,270 --> 00:16:06,000 No, it's um glare from other vehicle's headlights, 276 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,720 cyclist in dark clothing, 277 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,050 that's their own fault for not working hard enough having a car 278 00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:12,650 Fatigue, staying alert. 279 00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:17,200 And it now means you've got to spend 20 minutes next week failing the test and then going on a course, 280 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,150 So I¡¯m sorry we won't be here ladies and gentlemen next week, 281 00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:21,300 but we'll be much safer drivers when we get back. 282 00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,800 Now here on Top Gear as you know we like a bit of challenge, 283 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,370 we've made amphibious cars, we've made a convertible people carrier, 284 00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:33,100 but now it's time to see if we can conquer the final frontier--the space. 285 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,220 No. 286 00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:35,770 Hang...well...what do you mean no? 287 00:16:35,770 --> 00:16:36,420 No. 288 00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:40,770 Now, you see, we wanted to find out if you could make a car into a spaceship. 289 00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:46,170 Yes, and I thought this was the single stupidest idea I¡¯ve ever heard in my life 290 00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:48,000 and refuse to have any part in it. 291 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:52,420 Ah, you see, but you underestimated the genius of our space-based plan. 292 00:16:58,869 --> 00:17:02,731 One of the problems with space rocket is that they're gaint expensive. 293 00:17:02,766 --> 00:17:07,583 the Super Power spent billions trying to get their hardware up amongst the stars 294 00:17:12,858 --> 00:17:19,062 But we thought you can do it for a lot less cash if you base your space rocket on a car. 295 00:17:21,157 --> 00:17:25,772 That meant getting hold of the most rocket shaped car we can think of. 296 00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:33,863 Yes it's been around for 30 years, and for 29 of those years it's been a complete joke. 297 00:17:33,898 --> 00:17:39,339 Now though, we're gonna see if the Reliant Robin has the makings of a spaceship. 298 00:17:41,105 --> 00:17:45,441 It's light, It's cheap. And it tapers to a point like a rocket. 299 00:17:45,476 --> 00:17:47,574 So we're already heading in the right direction. 300 00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:52,254 But we're not just gonna strap rockets to it, set it off and wave it good-bye. 301 00:17:52,289 --> 00:17:57,948 Because we're gonna see if we can turn it into the most difficult of all space craft. 302 00:17:57,983 --> 00:18:01,600 The one has to take off, and been used again. 303 00:18:01,635 --> 00:18:04,532 A space shuttle. 304 00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:11,506 If you're eight, you're probably gonna wanna see what happens next. 305 00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:16,113 Our first job had been to put a call-in to the rocketeers. 306 00:18:16,148 --> 00:18:21,289 These were the men who'd helped to send a Mini down the skee jump for the Top Gear Winter Olympics 307 00:18:21,324 --> 00:18:23,971 ...Two One Initiate 308 00:18:34,296 --> 00:18:39,711 James and I convened a meeting at their headquarters, just out side the Derbyshire Town of Glossop. 309 00:18:40,558 --> 00:18:43,242 It's not exactly the Kennedy Space Centre, is it? 310 00:18:43,277 --> 00:18:44,813 Oh, I don't know. 311 00:18:45,794 --> 00:18:49,341 Inside we'd assembled a /mockly crew of boffins. 312 00:18:50,117 --> 00:18:54,811 Right gentlemen, What we want from you is the most difficult type of space rocket 313 00:18:54,846 --> 00:19:00,188 A ... space shuttle 314 00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:05,430 This has to work properly, it has to have the big fuel tank it has to have the booster rocket, 315 00:19:05,465 --> 00:19:11,290 they all have to seperate. Most importantly, we have to be able to bring it back down under control to a landing. 316 00:19:11,325 --> 00:19:14,506 And it's worth say as well though. No body's gonna go in this. 317 00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:16,453 - Yeah. - But it has to be landed. 318 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:20,797 The idea of this is that we will send it up to a few thousand feet 319 00:19:20,832 --> 00:19:26,112 What we're doing is testing the principle if you can make all this work, and we and bring it into this controllable landing 320 00:19:26,147 --> 00:19:29,592 We will probably get funding from the EU for a proper space mission 321 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:30,835 So you want to launch it? 322 00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:32,363 Jettison the SRBs 323 00:19:32,398 --> 00:19:36,009 - Jettison the SRBs - Jettison the orbiter, and fly it down? 324 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:36,835 What's the orbiter? 325 00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:39,293 - The Reliant - Right 326 00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:41,435 Have you got a spare billion dollars? 327 00:19:41,470 --> 00:19:43,171 No, you see that's why we've come to you. 328 00:19:43,206 --> 00:19:46,325 Because you're from Manchester and you'll be able to do it for ten and six 329 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,661 And as much teas as you can drink while you do're doing that. 330 00:19:48,661 --> 00:19:51,285 Yeah, chips and lard, everything, anything you want. 331 00:19:52,739 --> 00:19:56,167 The rocket men did some calculations on the back of a laptop. 332 00:19:56,202 --> 00:19:59,013 How do you make the bloody thing work? 333 00:19:59,048 --> 00:20:02,556 Well we've got the Robin. They've given us a Robin now. That's it's started, right. 334 00:20:02,556 --> 00:20:05,172 Whoopee, whoopee, whoopee, we've got a Robin. 335 00:20:05,207 --> 00:20:08,714 An hour later, and it looks as though Jeremy might have had a point. 336 00:20:10,273 --> 00:20:14,267 It is difficult in every single way. 337 00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:15,598 Right. 338 00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:20,085 You've got a Reliant Robin, It's a car. So it should really really heavy. 339 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,225 Yeah. 340 00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:26,397 So, rough numbers were we're gonna need about 12 times enough power than the Mini had. 341 00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:27,452 Really? 342 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:30,004 It's the largest non-commercial rocket launched in Europe. 343 00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:34,964 It's the most powerful non-commercial rocket launched in Europe. 344 00:20:34,999 --> 00:20:36,327 Right. 345 00:20:36,362 --> 00:20:40,250 As a rocket, it is the most awful shape it could ever be. 346 00:20:40,285 --> 00:20:45,426 But I thought the Robin was a good place to start, because it's pointy at one end. 347 00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:47,842 That's as far as I've got with that. 348 00:20:47,877 --> 00:20:50,301 It's pointy, Yeah. 349 00:20:51,576 --> 00:20:54,992 Never the less they set to work with James in tow. 350 00:20:57,740 --> 00:21:01,436 While May was in his element in world's biggest lockram shed 351 00:21:01,471 --> 00:21:03,331 Oh, look at that. 352 00:21:03,366 --> 00:21:06,375 I was trying to work out how to land the Reliant Robin. 353 00:21:07,894 --> 00:21:13,562 The rockets have deployed, Err. so we land it...like that. 354 00:21:13,597 --> 00:21:17,877 I wrestled with the problem for ages before I had a brain wave. 355 00:21:17,878 --> 00:21:22,915 Hello is that Model Airplane Monthly? Great, Em. I need some help. 356 00:21:32,414 --> 00:21:34,105 This I think is the answer. 357 00:21:34,105 --> 00:21:37,945 We put a more powerful version of whatever this is to our space shuttle. 358 00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:41,806 Then we can take control of it from the ground after its jettison in this rocket and... 359 00:21:41,841 --> 00:21:45,933 flied in by remote, it's a good plan. Just got to get good to fly it. 360 00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:55,472 I thought it best to sack myself from this job and instead hired Steve Holland 361 00:21:55,472 --> 00:21:57,545 A champion model air plane pilot. 362 00:21:57,795 --> 00:22:01,699 Yeah, now that is more like it, this. 363 00:22:04,713 --> 00:22:08,810 - How are you at flying cars? - Cars? 364 00:22:08,845 --> 00:22:10,284 Cars, small cars. 365 00:22:10,319 --> 00:22:14,306 With Steve the pilot onboard I went back to check on James' build 366 00:22:14,341 --> 00:22:16,382 and I was in for a shock. 367 00:22:18,061 --> 00:22:21,744 Deep hell James, it's enormous. 368 00:22:21,744 --> 00:22:25,085 That's a solid rocket booster, there are two of those. 369 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:28,344 That hasn't even got its nose cone on yet, it's actually a bit bigger than that. 370 00:22:28,379 --> 00:22:30,657 But it's...I was thinking firework on a stick 371 00:22:30,657 --> 00:22:34,299 I know. So was I, but that isn't the biggest bit. 372 00:22:34,806 --> 00:22:37,935 No, the external fuel tank was the biggest bit 373 00:22:37,970 --> 00:22:40,310 Complete with extra rockets in the bottom 374 00:22:40,345 --> 00:22:42,838 Then there were more rockets in the Reliant. 375 00:22:42,873 --> 00:22:45,362 And explosive bolts to seperate every thing. 376 00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:48,884 The whole construction was mind bombingly complicated. 377 00:22:49,631 --> 00:22:53,619 What occures to me now is the list of things to go wrong. 378 00:22:53,654 --> 00:22:55,584 It's enormous. 379 00:22:55,619 --> 00:22:56,499 Yeah. 380 00:22:56,534 --> 00:22:58,100 And if anyone of them goes wrong 381 00:22:58,135 --> 00:23:00,365 See I've been worried about the landing. 382 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,758 The chance of getting as far as the landing on the day are now... 383 00:23:04,793 --> 00:23:07,083 How did you get on with your flying, by the way. 384 00:23:07,118 --> 00:23:08,294 Err..Good. 385 00:23:11,345 --> 00:23:13,771 The next problem was a biggie. 386 00:23:13,806 --> 00:23:16,926 The rocketeers were worried that because of the Robin's odd shape 387 00:23:16,961 --> 00:23:20,685 The whole shuttle will spear off course during the ascent. 388 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,156 So we are happy we've got the power. 389 00:23:23,156 --> 00:23:25,857 Yeah, eight tons of thrust. 390 00:23:25,857 --> 00:23:29,536 And the thing only weights 1.5, so it's gonna go, someway. 391 00:23:29,571 --> 00:23:31,072 It's not gonna work, is it? 392 00:23:31,899 --> 00:23:36,067 - Well it's got to work, we're quite a long way into it now. - Hehe.. What's that? 393 00:23:36,102 --> 00:23:39,030 Yeah, now now, but you see, look at it like this, it makes a lot more sense. 394 00:23:39,065 --> 00:23:41,862 May we gotta make sure it doesn't just launch I mean it can't... 395 00:23:42,095 --> 00:23:44,182 it could fall onto its back in the sky or anything 396 00:23:44,182 --> 00:23:48,121 This isn't about power now. This is about the shape of it. 397 00:23:48,156 --> 00:23:50,854 - And now that would affect...where it goes. - Yeah...where it goes. 398 00:23:50,854 --> 00:23:54,496 It's air dynamic, we need an air dynamic's expert to look at all the stuff. 399 00:23:56,829 --> 00:24:00,651 One groveling phone call to the University of the West of England. 400 00:24:00,686 --> 00:24:03,598 And we secured permission to use their wind tunnel. 401 00:24:03,633 --> 00:24:07,663 And because it was free, We assumed it was self-service. 402 00:24:08,146 --> 00:24:08,886 Go 403 00:24:08,921 --> 00:24:11,314 Well? What do you mean go...I don't know what... 404 00:24:11,349 --> 00:24:12,277 Err.. 405 00:24:20,203 --> 00:24:21,215 Do that. 406 00:24:23,705 --> 00:24:24,802 That's good! 407 00:24:25,410 --> 00:24:31,312 No matter how hard he tried, James couldn't make himself into the shape of a Reliant Robin. Even with help. 408 00:24:33,727 --> 00:24:37,840 Thankfully, two eggheads arrived with a scale model of our shuttle. 409 00:24:37,875 --> 00:24:41,974 - You see a beard like that, and you know you're in safe hands. - Yep. 410 00:24:46,953 --> 00:24:50,093 Basically We're looking for anything air dynamic than... 411 00:24:50,128 --> 00:24:51,221 Nasty? 412 00:24:51,256 --> 00:24:54,004 Yeah, the Reliant is a proper mal-air dynamical thing. 413 00:24:54,039 --> 00:24:56,557 Well they didn't really design it with this in mind, did they. 414 00:24:56,592 --> 00:24:59,531 Is there any washout or washin on the winds? 415 00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:03,939 Basically..simple..the air force 416 00:25:03,974 --> 00:25:05,771 I don't know what you two are saying. 417 00:25:05,806 --> 00:25:08,345 Well this is the air force actually doing... 418 00:25:07,942 --> 00:25:08,630 Done. 419 00:25:09,203 --> 00:25:10,047 Alright. 420 00:25:11,346 --> 00:25:14,826 So, the big question, will it fly? 421 00:25:17,984 --> 00:25:21,176 I took it from his silence that he had his doubts. 422 00:25:22,652 --> 00:25:24,125 And it wasn't alone. 423 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:28,324 Like the real thing our shuttle would glide back to earth without power. 424 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:33,511 And Steve our pilot had also built a model to show how well it did this. 425 00:25:33,546 --> 00:25:36,133 What it actually gonna feel like to fly do you think? 426 00:25:36,168 --> 00:25:38,793 It's gonna come down like a lift with a cable cut. 427 00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:41,243 You're not filling me with hope, Steve. 428 00:25:41,278 --> 00:25:45,198 Well, most normal air plane they sort of glide for about, you know, 429 00:25:45,233 --> 00:25:48,312 they fly 20 feet forward they lose about a foot in height. 430 00:25:48,347 --> 00:25:51,165 Afraid the Robin is the other way round. 431 00:25:54,531 --> 00:25:57,401 Three, Two, One. 432 00:25:57,436 --> 00:25:59,703 And when the model was released from its tow plane... 433 00:26:01,057 --> 00:26:03,051 It's just plummeting to the earth! 434 00:26:09,147 --> 00:26:11,447 I'd rather you than me, I tell you. 435 00:26:12,001 --> 00:26:17,785 So, there were doubts about our space shuttle going up, and doubts about it coming down. 436 00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:23,209 But it was too late to worry now. Because she was ready, and on her way to the launch site. 437 00:26:30,270 --> 00:26:33,270 Don't worry, I still like cars, I promise 438 00:26:33,270 --> 00:26:37,520 Ah, anyway, we'll pick up their ludicrous story later on 439 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,100 But now it's time to put a star in our reasonably priced car 440 00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:45,800 My guest tonight is the hero of a new American Hollywood action film 441 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:50,220 That's set in a sleepy British village sort of die hard beat. 442 00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:53,050 Anyway here he is, Simon Pegg. 443 00:26:55,820 --> 00:26:56,900 How are you? 444 00:26:58,170 --> 00:26:59,320 Good to see you. Have a seat. 445 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:00,870 Thank you very much. 446 00:27:00,870 --> 00:27:03,070 A super star... 447 00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:10,020 Now um, I got to say, we don't really do plugging very much on this show 448 00:27:10,020 --> 00:27:10,400 Yeah 449 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:14,170 not very good at it, and also like to say how it is, you know? 450 00:27:14,170 --> 00:27:14,920 You keep it real. 451 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:19,150 If some wobbler comes with a new record that's terrible we got to say "Your record is terrible" 452 00:27:19,150 --> 00:27:23,320 but your new film "HOT FUZZ", man that's funny 453 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:23,970 Good 454 00:27:23,970 --> 00:27:25,720 Now as far as I could work out, 455 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,400 the idea is to make British cops cool, is that right? 456 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,117 Yeah, we just thought every...that... 457 00:27:30,117 --> 00:27:34,047 there'd been a big sort of tradition of of like British films being about the gangsters 458 00:27:34,047 --> 00:27:35,850 and being about the crime sort of world, 459 00:27:35,850 --> 00:27:40,070 because it's easier to make them look cool coz they've got shooters and stuff, you know? 460 00:27:40,070 --> 00:27:45,300 Whereas the British cops have got...it's slightly against them in terms of their cool. It is a very traditional force, 461 00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:47,950 you know the uniform is only just starting to get practical 462 00:27:47,950 --> 00:27:50,850 and so it's hard to be cool and a British cop. 463 00:27:50,850 --> 00:27:51,120 um 464 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:55,150 And the one thing that was difficult for our police force in terms of the coolometer 465 00:27:55,150 --> 00:27:59,250 is the pointy tall hat which pregnent women are still allowed to wee in. 466 00:27:59,250 --> 00:28:01,370 That's true. 467 00:28:01,370 --> 00:28:03,320 If they are caught short in the town centre 468 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,150 You are allowed to wee in the policeman's hat? 469 00:28:05,150 --> 00:28:06,600 Absolutely, if you're pregnent. 470 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,120 Oh I can claim that. 471 00:28:09,300 --> 00:28:11,620 Come here officer, oh, thanks a lot mate. 472 00:28:12,350 --> 00:28:14,620 Now, so that people could know what we're on about 473 00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:17,020 I've actually made sure we've got a clip for this film, ok? 474 00:28:17,020 --> 00:28:17,670 Oh good. 475 00:28:17,670 --> 00:28:20,400 And it's a bit in the supermarket. 476 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,000 Yes. 477 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,350 When they have, you have a gun fight. 478 00:28:23,350 --> 00:28:24,820 We do, in the battle of somerfields. 479 00:28:24,820 --> 00:28:27,970 The battle of som... So let's have a look at that. 480 00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:39,720 What are you thinking? 481 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,170 Well, this is straight now, we've got the element of surprise, 482 00:28:42,170 --> 00:28:44,070 not gonna wait more time for them to get mobilise. 483 00:28:44,070 --> 00:28:46,850 I say we go in through the front entrance, take the place all by awe 484 00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,100 they won't be expecting that. 485 00:28:49,350 --> 00:28:50,600 Very good, what he said. 486 00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:56,320 My my, here come the fuzz. 487 00:28:58,150 --> 00:28:59,600 Maybe they are not here? 488 00:29:00,050 --> 00:29:00,820 Wait here. 489 00:29:00,820 --> 00:29:03,970 - Don't go in on your own. - Don't worry, he knows what he is doing. 490 00:29:07,550 --> 00:29:10,970 Ok, They're in, you deal with the store, I'll deal with the trolley boy. 491 00:29:10,970 --> 00:29:11,520 Aye? 492 00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:13,550 Oh, shi... 493 00:29:14,250 --> 00:29:15,270 Oh... 494 00:29:15,270 --> 00:29:18,720 It is, it is marvelous there. 495 00:29:23,850 --> 00:29:25,350 First question we got to ask is 496 00:29:25,350 --> 00:29:27,870 Did somerfields let you do that or did you just go and? 497 00:29:27,870 --> 00:29:32,400 Yeah, they did...I...I...you know I've got maximun respect for somerfields now. 498 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,000 Because...we...you know, we wrote them a letter 499 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,420 and said "Look, we're gonna have a big fight in one of your supermarkets if you don't mind." 500 00:29:38,420 --> 00:29:39,270 It's all in good fun, 501 00:29:39,270 --> 00:29:41,570 it's meant you know...with a grammar of affection. 502 00:29:41,570 --> 00:29:42,850 And they were like "Alright". 503 00:29:42,850 --> 00:29:45,220 And the other one of course we've got to get onto car chases. 504 00:29:45,220 --> 00:29:45,700 Yeah. 505 00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:49,270 Again the American car tends to be rear wheel drive, police chase. 506 00:29:49,270 --> 00:29:51,170 You used Astra diesels. 507 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:52,850 Nothing but the best 508 00:29:52,850 --> 00:29:56,570 well that's what the...you know, a lot of uh...of the police are kinda lumbered with 509 00:29:56,570 --> 00:30:01,050 and because actually the chase is uh...is is... it's another Astra diesel in the chase 510 00:30:01,050 --> 00:30:05,050 it's like fire and ice, that chase would never end until the fuel run out 511 00:30:05,050 --> 00:30:06,150 do you know what I mean? Coz there is no... 512 00:30:06,150 --> 00:30:08,120 It's two Astras chasing each other. 513 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,250 It's like the unmovable force and the unstoppable object. 514 00:30:10,250 --> 00:30:12,370 The other awful thing of course about the Astra diesel is 515 00:30:12,370 --> 00:30:15,440 you know those "World's wildest police chase video" thing? 516 00:30:15,475 --> 00:30:16,122 Yeah. 517 00:30:16,458 --> 00:30:18,600 I once watched one of those in America. 518 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:22,420 they said we got a clip from England and I thought "I'm just gonna die of shame" 519 00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:26,400 And sure enough it went around the corner on a housing estate and bumped into a plant pot 520 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:27,320 and there is your... 521 00:30:28,450 --> 00:30:30,600 You say you had some driver training for the film, 522 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,320 did you have gun training as well? 523 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,050 Ah, we did a couple of days. 524 00:30:34,050 --> 00:30:35,500 I was pretty professional anyway. 525 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:36,420 Are you a gun man? 526 00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:38,850 I've got a bunch of weapons...I...I...I "pack heat". 527 00:30:41,220 --> 00:30:43,150 We had some amazing days of just 528 00:30:43,150 --> 00:30:49,020 whole days running through Wales town centre firing of Winchester 1300M pump action shotguns 529 00:30:49,020 --> 00:30:50,770 - 1300M? - it's a lovely weapon. - Yeah 530 00:30:50,770 --> 00:30:52,700 I like the way you throw the modern name in there. 531 00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:56,220 Nick Frost calls it...he...he called it Emma, he was that attached to it. 532 00:30:56,220 --> 00:31:01,600 And when we were doing space, he had to dismantle a gun uh... for the show 533 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,970 so he took a replica MP5 gun which was a machine gun, 534 00:31:04,970 --> 00:31:10,150 um... took all his clothes off, no, he...stripped to the waist, 535 00:31:10,150 --> 00:31:15,120 it was summer time, he put a blindfold on and was kinda doing this, took the blindfold off to check the watch 536 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:19,100 and there were 8 armed police officers in the living room with their guns drawn 537 00:31:19,900 --> 00:31:21,820 like you know...and they made the decision that 538 00:31:21,820 --> 00:31:24,750 if Nick went like that as opposed to that which is what I did 539 00:31:24,750 --> 00:31:25,950 - they were gonna shoot him. - Really? 540 00:31:25,950 --> 00:31:29,100 Yep, and he phoned me afterwards "Simon, they..." 541 00:31:30,300 --> 00:31:33,900 He said, apparently he was going "I'm...I'm...I'm an actor! I'm an actor!" 542 00:31:33,900 --> 00:31:35,620 And they were all like "where's your equity card?" 543 00:31:35,620 --> 00:31:37,870 "They've changed the role and you don't need one anymore." 544 00:31:40,250 --> 00:31:43,670 Now, can I just move on, coz films, you're a bit of a buff, I gather. 545 00:31:43,670 --> 00:31:44,350 I am a bit. 546 00:31:44,350 --> 00:31:46,420 - Starwars in particular. - Yeah, absolutely. 547 00:31:46,650 --> 00:31:52,020 Did you not once write a 3500 word essay on why you thought C-3PO was gay? 548 00:31:52,020 --> 00:31:57,229 Hahaha, no no, that was a part of the... what I wrote was... I did it... 549 00:31:57,229 --> 00:32:01,554 I analyzed Starwars from a Marx's perspective in terms of saying... 550 00:32:01,570 --> 00:32:06,020 well that was the idea that I never lost the things in the Starwars that are pretty right wing 551 00:32:06,020 --> 00:32:07,150 It came after Vietnam. 552 00:32:07,150 --> 00:32:13,020 It was a big expression of the American white middle class power in the rejection of the old order of the English 553 00:32:13,020 --> 00:32:17,250 and you could argue that C-3PO was kind of musculated homosexual. 554 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:18,870 - I don't... - Coz he's very camp 555 00:32:18,870 --> 00:32:20,770 but he was safe, coz he didn't have a "willy". 556 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:23,670 So it was ok. He was... 557 00:32:23,670 --> 00:32:24,970 Homosexual men have "willies"? 558 00:32:24,970 --> 00:32:26,300 He was sexually non threatening. 559 00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:27,970 Graham Norton's got a willy. 560 00:32:27,970 --> 00:32:28,950 How do you know? 561 00:32:34,750 --> 00:32:37,800 Do you know, I must admit, when I was doing my lap, 562 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:41,570 uh...I...I...was just wishing I could hear the Stig like Ben Kenobi. 563 00:32:41,570 --> 00:32:42,050 Yes. 564 00:32:42,050 --> 00:32:45,520 You know, I mean "Slower on the corner, Simon, slower on the corner". 565 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,500 Anyway, listen, who would like to see Simon's lap? 566 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,370 Ok let's have a look at this. 567 00:32:56,820 --> 00:32:57,620 Good speech. 568 00:32:57,620 --> 00:32:58,770 That's good. 569 00:32:58,770 --> 00:33:01,820 Nice, slight wheel spin. 570 00:33:01,820 --> 00:33:05,669 That's kinda my job, actually, that. The commentry on what the car's like. 571 00:33:06,833 --> 00:33:08,277 Oh yeah. 572 00:33:08,970 --> 00:33:12,250 That was pleasant. It's very pleasant. 573 00:33:13,020 --> 00:33:16,050 Pleasant's not a word I've ever used...look at that! 574 00:33:16,050 --> 00:33:18,270 That was my favourite bend, that one. 575 00:33:18,270 --> 00:33:20,770 Why did you...it was so good you just kept it going. 576 00:33:20,770 --> 00:33:22,950 %^and* gear you bugger. 577 00:33:22,950 --> 00:33:27,270 I heard, a leap from Hugh Grant there from a couple of weeks ago. 578 00:33:27,270 --> 00:33:29,820 And nice. 579 00:33:31,020 --> 00:33:32,420 This is good. 580 00:33:32,850 --> 00:33:33,920 Help! 581 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:37,050 That's the first cry for help we've had. 582 00:33:37,050 --> 00:33:38,820 This was...that was so much fun. 583 00:33:40,170 --> 00:33:41,700 I've just seen you mi... 584 00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:44,520 God if you can nail this one, you're laughing. 585 00:33:44,950 --> 00:33:48,400 Look at those eyes. No, where's the speed gone? 586 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:49,820 I know, that was my worst corner. 587 00:33:49,820 --> 00:33:52,400 No, oh you've slowed down. 588 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:59,600 - I know I know, what was I... - Oh crossed the line there. That was fast. 589 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:01,320 That was alright. 590 00:34:02,450 --> 00:34:03,720 That's the adrenalin going. 591 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,670 It really really does, so much fun. 592 00:34:05,670 --> 00:34:08,300 Where do you think you've come? 593 00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:12,470 I'd hope for kinda upper middle, but I hope above Coogan, please. 594 00:34:12,470 --> 00:34:13,520 Above Coogan? 595 00:34:13,950 --> 00:34:16,470 You did it in 1 minute... you're above Jimmy Carr, 596 00:34:16,470 --> 00:34:18,920 Yeah. 597 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,500 fourty...so already you are above Coogan 598 00:34:23,070 --> 00:34:27,770 8.5, so way above Coogan, nice one. 599 00:34:33,470 --> 00:34:35,250 Thank you. 600 00:34:39,350 --> 00:34:43,200 I think if I nailed that corner, if I... that was the one that bothered me 601 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:47,470 I reckon if you'd have done those last 2 corners at sort of Michael Gambon speed 602 00:34:47,470 --> 00:34:50,150 for instance, you would have been up there honsetly with Gordon Ramsey. 603 00:34:50,150 --> 00:34:50,650 Yeah. 604 00:34:50,650 --> 00:34:52,020 That was a very good lap. 605 00:34:52,020 --> 00:34:54,220 It felt really great. 606 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,600 Well, listen, best of luck with the film 607 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,870 and thank you very much for coming, ladies and gentlemen, Simon Pegg! 608 00:34:59,870 --> 00:35:03,250 Thank you, thank you very much. 609 00:35:10,713 --> 00:35:16,227 Now, in the olden days it was terribly easy to tune up a mass produced car. 610 00:35:16,381 --> 00:35:17,786 You put a bigger carburetor on it. 611 00:35:17,821 --> 00:35:20,155 You made an airscrew for the bonnet at the apply word. 612 00:35:20,190 --> 00:35:21,210 And the way you went. 613 00:35:21,245 --> 00:35:24,083 These days though, it not quite so easy. 614 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,919 No, and it's especially tricky if you start out something like this Mercedes SL65. 615 00:35:28,954 --> 00:35:32,195 517 horse power, V12, twin-turbo 616 00:35:32,230 --> 00:35:36,714 I mean how can a tuning company possibly make this better than it already is. 617 00:35:36,749 --> 00:35:40,594 And if they could what kind of a monster would you end up with? 618 00:35:52,126 --> 00:35:54,185 Well, you end up with this: 619 00:35:54,220 --> 00:35:57,904 The most powerful convertible ever made 620 00:36:06,791 --> 00:36:14,209 Welcome every one to the 160 thousand pond Brabus S Bi-turbo roadster 621 00:36:21,181 --> 00:36:24,700 Sweet mother of God this is fast 622 00:36:27,291 --> 00:36:31,390 The secret to all this speed of course is the engine 623 00:36:36,516 --> 00:36:42,962 What Brabus do is take the standard Mercedes V12 and then throw almost all of it away 624 00:36:43,570 --> 00:36:48,136 only the cylinder block remains and even that is modified 625 00:36:48,171 --> 00:36:50,406 Everything else is new. 626 00:36:52,263 --> 00:36:54,056 New and bigger. 627 00:36:54,091 --> 00:36:57,844 The original car has 5.5 liters. This is a 6.3. 628 00:36:57,879 --> 00:36:59,700 and the result of that is dramatic. 629 00:36:59,735 --> 00:37:03,071 730 BHP. 630 00:37:03,106 --> 00:37:06,446 That's more than any Bentley, it's more than any Ferrari, 631 00:37:06,481 --> 00:37:09,514 more than any Lamborghini even. 632 00:37:11,351 --> 00:37:16,321 Of course it's not actually that difficult to screws 730 horse powers from an engine. 633 00:37:18,163 --> 00:37:21,640 But it is difficult to put all that power on the road. 634 00:37:25,199 --> 00:37:33,204 and it's /nile impossible when the engine is churning out almost ridiculous 1000 torques. 635 00:37:33,490 --> 00:37:38,006 1000 torques is what you'd use for restarting a dead planet. 636 00:37:38,041 --> 00:37:40,986 It's so much that when they put the engine in a car 637 00:37:41,021 --> 00:37:42,483 it wouldn't move at all. 638 00:37:42,518 --> 00:37:45,078 Traction control just set there go 'This is impossible' 639 00:37:45,113 --> 00:37:49,321 and when you turn the traction control off the rear wheel spun till the tires are burst. 640 00:37:51,821 --> 00:37:56,828 as a result they've now limited it to just 811 torques, 641 00:37:56,863 --> 00:38:01,652 which is about what you use to power a medium sized aircraft carrier 642 00:38:03,866 --> 00:38:08,560 Now at this point you're probably expecting me to say that they've limited the top speed as well 643 00:38:08,650 --> 00:38:10,454 and I'm afraid they have. 644 00:38:10,489 --> 00:38:14,269 to Amm... 219 MPH 645 00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:24,567 The top speed is incredible, but the way it gets there boggles the mind 646 00:38:24,602 --> 00:38:32,151 100, 120, 140 647 00:38:33,153 --> 00:38:34,835 I'm now going 180 648 00:38:34,835 --> 00:38:39,516 faster then the top speed of an Apache helicopter gunship 649 00:38:41,601 --> 00:38:44,078 I'm running out off run way. 650 00:38:49,004 --> 00:38:51,965 I suppose I ought to explain at this point that 651 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:55,163 Mercedes limit this car to 155 MPH 652 00:38:55,163 --> 00:38:58,811 because that's the limit of what there is components can take. 653 00:39:00,862 --> 00:39:07,408 So if you're going to make it go 219 MPH those components have to be changed. 654 00:39:08,263 --> 00:39:11,882 That discreet body kit therefore is not for show. 655 00:39:11,917 --> 00:39:14,050 It's there to keep me on the ground, 656 00:39:14,050 --> 00:39:19,224 which is handy when you're doing 320 feet a second 657 00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:29,891 and what kind of under floor engineering does the Brabus have to keep it in check at this kind of speed. 658 00:39:30,921 --> 00:39:34,538 Well, put simply, It's all very big. 659 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:40,531 The breaks at the size of dustbin lids have 12 pistons each. 660 00:39:42,502 --> 00:39:44,488 the tires could encompass Neptune 661 00:39:44,488 --> 00:39:50,003 and the speed the whole car sets lower to the road than the normal by 15 mm 662 00:39:58,626 --> 00:40:00,522 So has it worked? 663 00:40:00,557 --> 00:40:02,601 No, not really. 664 00:40:04,207 --> 00:40:08,410 Even though they've reined in the torque, there's still far too much of it. 665 00:40:08,715 --> 00:40:12,273 Every time you go near the throttle, even in a straight line 666 00:40:12,274 --> 00:40:16,483 you just get the traction control going 'Errrr.. I don't know what to do!' 667 00:40:17,935 --> 00:40:24,549 Even if you turn the traction control off this bigger Mercedes of course, it isn't really off. 668 00:40:25,415 --> 00:40:27,933 you got the breaks stabbing away, 669 00:40:27,968 --> 00:40:34,470 and the back tires desperately trying to control the mountain of torque. 670 00:40:34,470 --> 00:40:37,027 just wasting their time. 671 00:40:37,358 --> 00:40:41,359 Honestly you may as well blow on an oil rig fire. 672 00:40:45,387 --> 00:40:51,713 You have to develop a new technique, which is blast down the straight 673 00:40:53,068 --> 00:40:54,549 hard on the breaks 674 00:40:54,812 --> 00:40:57,452 Woo, I think I'm just made accreting the runway. 675 00:41:00,626 --> 00:41:02,904 and then go very slowly. 676 00:41:02,939 --> 00:41:05,439 slowly, eat the power in, 677 00:41:05,474 --> 00:41:07,731 steal the traction control spurning away and then 678 00:41:07,766 --> 00:41:10,663 Ohhh...no, that was too much. 679 00:41:12,731 --> 00:41:14,850 It's very hard work this. 680 00:41:16,076 --> 00:41:21,522 and worse after a worryingly short amount of time the breaks were completely shot 681 00:41:21,557 --> 00:41:26,743 still at least this meant I can pull over and stop the madness 682 00:41:30,751 --> 00:41:34,033 In terms of handling then this car is a nightmare 683 00:41:34,068 --> 00:41:38,079 it just cannot cope with the volcano under the bonnet. 684 00:41:42,513 --> 00:41:52,709 there then is two and a bit tons of prove that absolute power really does corrupt absolutely 685 00:42:00,895 --> 00:42:02,214 So it's rubbish. 686 00:42:02,214 --> 00:42:05,291 well, we're gonna find out now by putting it on our track 687 00:42:05,456 --> 00:42:08,957 and that of course means handing it over to our tame racing driver. 688 00:42:09,437 --> 00:42:15,260 Some say that if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as piccalilli. 689 00:42:16,519 --> 00:42:22,346 And that at this week's Brit awards he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand. 690 00:42:23,704 --> 00:42:26,765 All we know is, he's called the Stig. 691 00:42:28,081 --> 00:42:31,090 Way you go, his tires struggling to contain all the torques 692 00:42:31,125 --> 00:42:33,966 He's piling into the first corner already 693 00:42:34,001 --> 00:42:37,509 and mighty struggle between power traction control and the Stig 694 00:42:37,544 --> 00:42:40,473 Look at that! Unbelievable driving 695 00:42:40,508 --> 00:42:44,798 radio:"She could hear the others heart beating as if they share just one between" 696 00:42:44,798 --> 00:42:47,833 Stig's talking book collection getting another area in there 697 00:42:47,868 --> 00:42:51,615 as he bellows through Chicago not like he all that fast I gotta say 698 00:42:51,650 --> 00:42:53,800 look at it, lunatic of a car this thing 699 00:42:54,291 --> 00:42:55,283 through the Hammerhead 700 00:42:55,283 --> 00:42:58,672 Look you can actually see it wobbling around as the computers 701 00:42:58,707 --> 00:43:02,894 Look at it, struggling to try and keep it on straight and now nearly hitting the tyres up 702 00:43:02,929 --> 00:43:06,923 Radio:"I love him, she said to the Elvens, I love him." 703 00:43:06,958 --> 00:43:11,425 Through the Follow Through he can really wind it up here, make up some lost time 704 00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:15,776 But he has got to have lifted even the Stig's not that stupid. 705 00:43:16,122 --> 00:43:17,666 No it just doesn't look that fast 706 00:43:17,836 --> 00:43:20,744 you just can't get the power on when you want to in it. 707 00:43:20,779 --> 00:43:23,464 Second to last corner, just holding it on the track 708 00:43:23,499 --> 00:43:25,471 through Gambon barely containing 709 00:43:25,506 --> 00:43:27,470 explosion there and cross the line 710 00:43:30,708 --> 00:43:32,186 Well yeah you're applauding 711 00:43:32,221 --> 00:43:35,110 but, ready? 712 00:43:36,007 --> 00:43:39,122 an entirely predictable 1:26.2 713 00:43:39,157 --> 00:43:41,998 And the problem is, very straight forward OK? 714 00:43:42,033 --> 00:43:46,896 Mercedes spend a million ponds a day on research and development 715 00:43:46,896 --> 00:43:48,093 a million a day! 716 00:43:48,105 --> 00:43:51,040 So they've got the best brains in the world with all the money in the world 717 00:43:51,075 --> 00:43:53,571 to make the standard car as good as it can be. 718 00:43:53,606 --> 00:44:00,287 However, I don't think that this it the end for tuning companys Because look at the Jag here OK? 719 00:44:00,322 --> 00:44:02,318 Now they spent 35p designing this 720 00:44:02,353 --> 00:44:04,303 Make no mistake, I love it, it's beautiful 721 00:44:04,338 --> 00:44:08,993 but I do think that there is more power to be got out off the v8 under this bonet 722 00:44:09,028 --> 00:44:13,293 this is a prime candidate for someone to come along and tune it up a bit. 723 00:44:13,328 --> 00:44:14,285 You're right, you're right. 724 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,917 And what's more we're British, 725 00:44:15,952 --> 00:44:20,360 we're the inventors of everything! It is time to brace ourselves, 726 00:44:20,395 --> 00:44:22,372 hasten unto the shed, 727 00:44:22,407 --> 00:44:28,727 and liberate ourselves from the abyss made dark by the lights of perverted German science. 728 00:44:30,533 --> 00:44:33,381 I c'n really has lost it this week, but it doesn't matter 729 00:44:33,419 --> 00:44:36,428 because we can move on, because it's time for the Cool Wall 730 00:44:39,222 --> 00:44:39,736 Yes 731 00:44:42,747 --> 00:44:43,943 and we're beginning... 732 00:44:45,591 --> 00:44:48,785 We're beginning by move all the 4-wheel-drive cars down 733 00:44:48,820 --> 00:44:50,789 - All of them? Why? - All of them are going down 734 00:44:50,789 --> 00:44:51,762 No, hang on, why? 735 00:44:51,797 --> 00:44:54,738 Times have moved on Richard, 21st centry all that... 736 00:44:54,773 --> 00:44:59,221 Look, OK I appreciate, but not all 4x4s are driven by women round Chelsea 737 00:44:59,256 --> 00:45:02,757 No, listen, I agree with you, I agree I'm sure with most people here 738 00:45:02,792 --> 00:45:06,460 - That 4x4s are not killing polar bears but... - Some of us are living in the country we need them 739 00:45:06,495 --> 00:45:08,163 you can't just move them all down the wall 740 00:45:08,198 --> 00:45:10,427 Car's all about pulling women...for us obviously 741 00:45:10,462 --> 00:45:12,867 You know what I mean, for blokes since it's what it all about. 742 00:45:12,902 --> 00:45:16,074 You're not gonna pull Socialist woman with these because they don't like them 743 00:45:16,109 --> 00:45:18,988 What does that matter? I don't ... Sorry mate, you don't make any sense... 744 00:45:18,988 --> 00:45:22,653 Socialists women are better in bed than tory women 745 00:45:22,694 --> 00:45:24,654 Let me put it to you this way, OK? 746 00:45:24,689 --> 00:45:28,765 I'll give you a straight choice: Vanessa Redgrave or Ann Widdecombe? 747 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,672 Crikey, Vanessa Redgrave 748 00:45:30,707 --> 00:45:34,572 There you are. And as a result they've all got to come down the board 749 00:45:34,607 --> 00:45:37,432 They're not cool any more driving around in there, they're just not. 750 00:45:37,467 --> 00:45:39,857 and you know what I am gonna do to celebrate this? I'm gonna buy a Range Rover 751 00:45:39,892 --> 00:45:43,124 - Hahaha - And I'm gonna get a V8 one, petrol 752 00:45:43,124 --> 00:45:44,110 What have you got there? 753 00:45:44,190 --> 00:45:47,117 This is the new Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder. 754 00:45:47,152 --> 00:45:49,638 What do we think? How cool is that? 755 00:45:49,673 --> 00:45:51,958 This...what? Subzero. 756 00:45:51,993 --> 00:45:55,269 In the fridge, subzero, in the fridge subzero. 757 00:45:55,304 --> 00:45:56,086 All wrong 758 00:45:56,121 --> 00:45:57,928 Hold on, hold on. Everybody with your opnions. 759 00:45:57,928 --> 00:46:00,953 There is couple of the really crucial things you need to know about this car 760 00:46:00,988 --> 00:46:03,542 Number one, he's just bought one. 761 00:46:03,568 --> 00:46:04,967 Look at this 762 00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,710 Number two, I'm having the wall extended through that wall, 763 00:46:09,745 --> 00:46:14,578 down...to add a really really really really really seriously uncool section. 764 00:46:14,613 --> 00:46:17,986 I'm afraid that is true obviously. If we buy one and we ruin the reputation of that car, 765 00:46:18,021 --> 00:46:20,475 which is why we put that over there 766 00:46:20,510 --> 00:46:24,826 But this, the Ford GT can at last come up here, coz I've got rid of it. 767 00:46:25,907 --> 00:46:28,146 Now next one, Porsche 911 768 00:46:29,639 --> 00:46:32,217 - GT3 RS - GT3 RS 769 00:46:32,252 --> 00:46:34,265 It's brilliant brilliant car 770 00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:36,619 - But? - Even I'm not gonna argue that that's cool 771 00:46:36,654 --> 00:46:40,051 This scaffolding, Kristin Scott Thomas, this is the test we have as you know 772 00:46:40,086 --> 00:46:42,147 She got in there :"Why have you got scaffolding in the back?" 773 00:46:42,182 --> 00:46:45,266 You'll have to explain:"It's a roll cage in case I fall over and park on the roof." 774 00:46:45,266 --> 00:46:47,654 In case I roll over, she's just going to get out. 775 00:46:47,689 --> 00:46:49,323 "Why has it got a fire extinguisher?" 776 00:46:49,358 --> 00:46:51,374 In case we bust into flames on the race track. 777 00:46:51,409 --> 00:46:54,830 Honestly all the stuff in there is like her opening the glove box going, "Why have you got Dettol in here?" 778 00:46:54,865 --> 00:46:57,649 Woo...It's in case my eye inflection flares up again 779 00:46:57,684 --> 00:46:59,693 It's going right down here. 780 00:46:59,728 --> 00:47:02,701 I'll tell you what, you know if you put a cockometer at the side of the road 781 00:47:02,736 --> 00:47:03,405 A what? 782 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,640 A cockometer, you know when you driving to villages in these days tells you your speed 783 00:47:06,675 --> 00:47:09,619 If there was another one along side, like one of those thermometers outside the church. 784 00:47:09,619 --> 00:47:12,187 selling you how much of a cock you look 785 00:47:13,268 --> 00:47:16,691 This be right off the scale if you drove by one of those. I'm not joking. 786 00:47:16,726 --> 00:47:17,442 What have you got? 787 00:47:17,477 --> 00:47:20,314 - Now it's a Kia Cee'd - Oh, for God sake 788 00:47:20,349 --> 00:47:23,830 - Ahh, Yes, now, hang on. - I'm losing the will to live. I'll die. 789 00:47:24,003 --> 00:47:25,763 Does anybody here think that's cool? 790 00:47:26,633 --> 00:47:28,092 - Absolute rubbish. - Have you driven one? 791 00:47:28,101 --> 00:47:29,096 No one want one. 792 00:47:29,471 --> 00:47:30,312 - No. Yes? - No. 793 00:47:30,373 --> 00:47:31,197 Does anyone say yes? 794 00:47:31,377 --> 00:47:34,410 - Yes, there's a lady here saying yes. - You've driven a Kia Cee'd? 795 00:47:34,745 --> 00:47:35,724 I work for Kia. 796 00:47:38,562 --> 00:47:41,999 On purpose or is it just like bedding them unemployment into your town? 797 00:47:42,034 --> 00:47:44,319 It's a fabulous car and it's a fabulous company. 798 00:47:44,354 --> 00:47:45,233 Really? 799 00:47:46,953 --> 00:47:48,393 - You're not helping me there. - No. 800 00:47:48,517 --> 00:47:52,954 Except for one tiny detail: the Koreans eat dogs 801 00:47:54,365 --> 00:47:58,970 You're gonna come down one more and you don't come crying for me if you find TopGear dog in a bap. 802 00:48:00,505 --> 00:48:03,379 - Again it's your logic and it's frightening - It's uncool. 803 00:48:03,414 --> 00:48:06,502 I'm telling you, I'm..I won the money. Come on beyond. 804 00:48:06,502 --> 00:48:10,573 Why have you worked for Kia, have you got a TVR T-shirt on? 805 00:48:11,249 --> 00:48:15,415 Because TVRs are British, and they're fast, and they're subzero. 806 00:48:15,450 --> 00:48:17,643 Everything Kias aren't. 807 00:48:19,062 --> 00:48:20,053 Right 808 00:48:21,099 --> 00:48:23,738 Emm. This, Ducati 1098 809 00:48:23,773 --> 00:48:26,063 I'm sorry what you're doing 810 00:48:26,179 --> 00:48:29,252 It's a Ducati 1098 and I'd like to put it forward to go on the board 811 00:48:29,287 --> 00:48:35,000 In fact, I'd like to put it in the cool...I seriously, know there is every reason why this is a very very cool bike. 812 00:48:35,035 --> 00:48:39,095 It's an Italian super bike. But it isn't just technically very very clever 813 00:48:39,130 --> 00:48:43,331 it also looks beautiful.. Ah. 814 00:48:53,944 --> 00:48:54,989 Don't do it again. 815 00:48:55,024 --> 00:48:59,481 - Do not put a motorcycle... - Touched the nerve there I think 816 00:49:01,674 --> 00:49:03,908 Is that touched your nerve? 817 00:49:06,603 --> 00:49:08,944 - I may have... - Do not put a motorcycle on the board 818 00:49:08,944 --> 00:49:10,699 Now look what's happened. 819 00:49:10,699 --> 00:49:12,295 I'm sensing disagreement from you. 820 00:49:12,295 --> 00:49:17,106 - Run, run or you'll be a lot shorter - I'm gonna... 821 00:49:18,017 --> 00:49:23,610 Now, earlier on Richard Hammond and I were attempting to prove John F Clarkson wrong 822 00:49:23,887 --> 00:49:27,028 by turning a Reliant Robin into a spaceshuttle. 823 00:49:27,063 --> 00:49:30,687 And when we left the action, it was all going terribly well. 824 00:49:36,242 --> 00:49:41,328 The launch site was a military base whose where abouts are a top secret. 825 00:49:41,328 --> 00:49:44,785 (Clanburne Military Training Ground, 53 miles N.W. of Newcastle) 826 00:49:45,268 --> 00:49:46,738 (Just off the A68) 827 00:49:48,087 --> 00:49:50,134 (Launch minus 2 days) 828 00:49:48,327 --> 00:49:53,250 The build began and soon the main fuel tank was assembled and attached to the launch pad. 829 00:49:53,285 --> 00:49:58,806 Together with the solid rocket boosters, these parts contain the 8 and half tons of rocket power 830 00:49:58,841 --> 00:50:03,121 that'll be taking the reliant up into the Heavens. 831 00:50:05,539 --> 00:50:07,951 Here's what terrifies me 832 00:50:07,951 --> 00:50:11,476 as it is here on that let's be honest: bit of sacffolding 833 00:50:11,673 --> 00:50:12,565 Yeah? 834 00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:14,164 Just the tiniest...you know... 835 00:50:14,164 --> 00:50:18,223 eeek like that, that's Birmingham or eeek that's John o' Groats... 836 00:50:18,258 --> 00:50:22,910 Look it's fine, it's held down with some old concrete blocks and some straps that you use to 837 00:50:22,945 --> 00:50:26,998 hold furniture down in the removal van. That's perfect. 838 00:50:27,033 --> 00:50:28,934 Right, there must be something useful we can do somewhere. 839 00:50:29,168 --> 00:50:31,022 As it happened, there was 840 00:50:31,057 --> 00:50:37,193 We were sent off to dig a bunker for Steve the model airplane pilot who would glide the reliant in. 841 00:50:37,228 --> 00:50:44,221 But that wasn't easy because the launch site is littered with unexploded bombs. 842 00:50:44,992 --> 00:50:48,122 Thank you for choosing a precision metal detector 843 00:50:48,157 --> 00:50:53,322 with your metal detector you can hunt for coins, relics, jewellery, gold and silver just about anywhere. 844 00:50:53,322 --> 00:50:55,725 - Does it say bombs? - No. 845 00:50:56,222 --> 00:50:59,128 James had bought his metal detector at Argos(UK store) 846 00:51:00,025 --> 00:51:03,674 So I got myself some serious body armour. 847 00:51:14,132 --> 00:51:16,038 You've found my JCB. 848 00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:18,345 I've just worked out something though now from this 849 00:51:18,345 --> 00:51:21,639 it only works down to a depth of about 3 inches. 850 00:51:22,559 --> 00:51:26,691 As it turned out, it all went rather well 851 00:51:27,337 --> 00:51:28,901 ...in the main. 852 00:51:31,676 --> 00:51:33,735 Look what he's done. 853 00:51:33,770 --> 00:51:35,981 You philistein! 854 00:51:36,016 --> 00:51:38,978 Finally our bunker was finished. 855 00:51:39,013 --> 00:51:40,504 So that's it then, good. 856 00:51:40,539 --> 00:51:45,468 With Steve now fully protected we went back to the launch site where there was good news. 857 00:51:45,503 --> 00:51:50,416 Bang on time for it's date with destiny, the Reliant Robin had arrived. 858 00:51:59,334 --> 00:52:04,433 - Huhhhh, you're alright, you're alright. - Keep it coming. 859 00:52:04,468 --> 00:52:06,690 - Alright. - On that line. 860 00:52:07,190 --> 00:52:10,296 - You're alright, you're alright. - Yeah. 861 00:52:10,331 --> 00:52:14,085 - Back. - Nice and stop. 862 00:52:16,705 --> 00:52:21,244 That is the business end of a reusable Reliant orbiter. 863 00:52:21,551 --> 00:52:22,694 Wow. 864 00:52:25,350 --> 00:52:28,719 Then we were entrusted with another job. 865 00:52:28,784 --> 00:52:33,044 I reveal to you the legend. 866 00:52:33,703 --> 00:52:35,291 You spanner. 867 00:52:35,326 --> 00:52:36,528 What? That 's where it goes on the wing... 868 00:52:36,528 --> 00:52:39,652 - But think what it's gonna look like when it's up there pointing upwards. - Brilliant. 869 00:52:39,901 --> 00:52:41,604 Up side down! 870 00:52:45,831 --> 00:52:50,338 (Launch minus 21 hours) 871 00:52:47,576 --> 00:52:52,894 As night fell, the most delicate and risky part of the operation began 872 00:52:52,894 --> 00:52:58,486 Attaching the reliant space orbiter to the rockets and fuel tank. 873 00:52:58,554 --> 00:53:02,524 Not kidding, this bit is genuinely very scary 874 00:53:02,524 --> 00:53:06,405 because as they're mounting it, often it's quite complicated on the linkages 875 00:53:06,405 --> 00:53:10,306 if the shuttle clogs it and bends any of the release mechanisms, 876 00:53:10,306 --> 00:53:15,412 - it won't come off and then the shuttle and the tank will come down and ... - Yeah. 877 00:53:17,999 --> 00:53:19,892 Shall we go over and help? 878 00:53:19,892 --> 00:53:21,254 I think not. 879 00:53:25,056 --> 00:53:28,383 - Thinking about the really unNASA thing you said just now. - What? 880 00:53:28,418 --> 00:53:33,242 Right, come on lads, let's get this Robin pluged... 881 00:53:34,363 --> 00:53:35,826 Worker: Oh, ladder's coming out. 882 00:53:36,464 --> 00:53:41,080 Again, at NASA they don't keep a step ladder on the launch pad. 883 00:53:41,115 --> 00:53:46,122 - One small step ladder for... - Hahahaha.... 884 00:53:46,122 --> 00:53:50,100 James...stop laughing, they get nearly crossed... 885 00:53:50,135 --> 00:53:56,474 Finally, the Robin was attached and the completed shuttle made for a truly awesome sight. 886 00:53:56,509 --> 00:53:58,653 Everything was looking good. 887 00:53:58,688 --> 00:54:04,478 but later in our suite at the local "Ridge Sheraton" I was worried mad. 888 00:54:08,153 --> 00:54:10,270 - Hammond? - What? 889 00:54:10,723 --> 00:54:14,187 What do you think of the chances of it actually working? 890 00:54:14,222 --> 00:54:15,204 It'll work. 891 00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:21,028 It's just that you know when we do these big things they usually end in some sort of massive disaster 892 00:54:23,815 --> 00:54:26,190 I quite like this one to work. 893 00:54:54,393 --> 00:54:57,470 (Launch minus 10 hours) 894 00:54:56,491 --> 00:55:01,117 Well it's up, it's built, but it's worth a quick reminder of exactly what is going to happen. 895 00:55:01,152 --> 00:55:05,417 Absolutely, we've got 8 and half tons of rocket thrust to push that thing off the ground 896 00:55:05,417 --> 00:55:08,776 at about 1000 feet the 2 solid rocket boosters will be empty 897 00:55:08,811 --> 00:55:12,071 they will fall away and come down on the parachutes doing about 100 miles an hour then. 898 00:55:12,093 --> 00:55:16,483 Yeah, it'll continue accelerating to about 140, then at about 3000 feet 899 00:55:16,483 --> 00:55:19,218 The orbiter itself will detach from the main body 900 00:55:19,253 --> 00:55:21,222 that's when Steve the pilot takes control 901 00:55:21,257 --> 00:55:26,051 it's his job to glide it in, he has the option of firing 3 rockets to extend that glide 902 00:55:26,051 --> 00:55:31,399 he'll then put it down on the deck of the landing strip and prove that it is a reusable craft. 903 00:55:31,434 --> 00:55:32,984 - Yeah. - Of course 904 00:55:33,019 --> 00:55:35,604 All that we've just said is... just words. 905 00:55:35,639 --> 00:55:38,366 - Words, yeah. - Let's be honest. Who knows. 906 00:55:40,542 --> 00:55:43,808 The last few hours were taken up with final preparations 907 00:55:43,843 --> 00:55:50,889 and with such an ambitious project as this the complexity of the on board systems was simply staggering. 908 00:55:50,924 --> 00:55:57,586 Each electronic component had to talk to every other electronic component at exactly the right time. 909 00:56:02,857 --> 00:56:05,730 There have been 1 or 2 delays 910 00:56:05,730 --> 00:56:07,807 most of these are of an electrical nature 911 00:56:07,807 --> 00:56:12,798 There's a long wire leading from launch control down to the rocket and unfortunately that had a breakage some where. 912 00:56:12,798 --> 00:56:14,932 James, a car ran through it. 913 00:56:14,932 --> 00:56:18,656 Ok, but that's all sorted. We're now fueling the bird. 914 00:56:21,455 --> 00:56:26,425 And once that's done there can be no delays, it's full of fuels they're gonna have to light that candle. 915 00:56:26,425 --> 00:56:27,443 Yeah. 916 00:56:29,678 --> 00:56:33,006 The tension now was almost unbearable 917 00:56:33,041 --> 00:56:37,745 you could almost hear Jeremy preparing some intergalactic smarts. 918 00:56:39,882 --> 00:56:42,889 So would it stay on course during the ascent? 919 00:56:46,102 --> 00:56:49,185 Would the rockets and the fuel tank detach? 920 00:56:51,616 --> 00:56:59,223 And would Steve who by the way have refused our kind offer of a bunker be able to pilot the Robin down safely? 921 00:57:01,076 --> 00:57:04,007 In just a few seconds, we'd know. 922 00:57:19,108 --> 00:57:22,103 Oh yes! 923 00:57:45,612 --> 00:57:47,936 Separate! Separate! 924 00:57:57,537 --> 00:58:00,320 - Separate! - 12 1000 925 00:58:03,869 --> 00:58:06,139 Technicians:Break! Separate! 926 00:58:19,696 --> 00:58:22,402 Oh no! 927 00:58:28,723 --> 00:58:33,161 - That's why... - How were you gonna use it again? 928 00:58:44,063 --> 00:58:45,972 And uh... 929 00:58:47,227 --> 00:58:49,920 That's enough, really. 930 00:58:50,906 --> 00:58:56,591 Next week these 2 completely lose touch with reality and try to get to the centre of the earth with a lawn mower. 931 00:58:57,614 --> 00:58:59,526 I think we did quite well. 932 00:58:59,561 --> 00:59:02,782 By what measure do you arrive at that conclusion? 933 00:59:02,817 --> 00:59:06,354 Well, in fairness it was only 1 bolt that let us down. 934 00:59:06,389 --> 00:59:10,255 There's only 1 iceburg that sank the Titanic, it's still sank. 935 00:59:10,290 --> 00:59:13,697 The fact of the matter is you just blew a big hole in Northumberland. 936 00:59:13,732 --> 00:59:18,282 Yeah, and next week where all of us ruining Banffshire with tractors. 937 00:59:18,317 --> 00:59:23,574 That's true but don't worry because i'm also driving up and down our track very fast in a Lamborghini 938 00:59:23,609 --> 00:59:27,867 Uh so we really hope we'll see you then, take care. Goodnight! 939 00:59:28,068 --> 00:59:33,068 Top Gear 9x04 TransGear subtitle team the Sim-Race Federation of China www.srfc.com.cn