1
00:00:00,792 --> 00:00:02,044
[ Clanging ]
2
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,089
[ Groaning ]
3
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,094
[ Groans ]
4
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,471
[ Yawns ]
5
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,226
[ Slurping ]
6
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,108
[ Birds chirping ]
7
00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:31,740
[ Bubbling ]
8
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,742
[ Whirring ]
9
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,254
[ Screeching ]
10
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,592
[ Farting ]
11
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,886
[ Music playing ]
12
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:59,893
{\an8}♪♪
13
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,353
'Sup, baby?
14
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:10,153
{\an8}♪♪
15
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,863
[ Hissing ]
16
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:18,328
{\an8}♪♪
17
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:20,622
Let's do some liquor science.
18
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,542
Um, hey, Rick.
19
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,377
Rick!
20
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,879
Rick!
Are you ignoring me?
21
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,591
Hey! Hello!
Rick!
22
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,593
Did you go deaf?
23
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:34,678
[ Gasps ]
No, no, no, no, no!
24
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,722
Oh, my God!
25
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,516
[ Clattering ]
26
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:40,892
Whoa!
27
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,437
[ Alarm ringing ]
28
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,437
Morty! What the fuck?
29
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,938
I didn't --
I didn't mean to!
30
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,857
What the fuck?
31
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,944
Tell me why you ignored a sign
that said "do not disturb."
32
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:52,613
I -- it's not
important.
33
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:55,240
It better be. You just destroyed
my distillery.
34
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:58,160
So either it's an emergency,
or it's important.
35
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,911
And it better be
real fuckin' important
36
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,457
because this was the most
important thing to me today.
37
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,794
So what did you come down
here for?
38
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,505
I was wondering
if you could drive me
39
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:13,175
to pick up some Pokemon cards.
40
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,427
I'm sorry.
41
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,346
Have you ever seen
me happy, Morty?
42
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:20,098
What? Uh, I mean,
not really.
43
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,767
Well, I've been happy
in my life.
44
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,227
And, look,
there's no point on the chart
45
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,188
where my joy intersects
with your presence.
46
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,439
Then why
hang out with me?
47
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,191
I don't know.
When I found you,
48
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,567
you were bait.
When I killed that fish,
49
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,152
maybe I should have cut
the line.
50
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,821
Because all I have now
is a fucking worm.
51
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:39,034
You told me that wasn't true.
You're just trying to hurt me.
52
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,285
[ Sobbing ]
53
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,496
Morty, no. I meant...
54
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,289
Fuck!
55
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:45,791
God damn it.
56
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,043
This would be the perfect time
for a drink.
57
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:56,218
{\an8}♪♪
58
00:02:56,301 --> 00:03:04,559
{\an8}♪♪
59
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:12,734
{\an8}♪♪
60
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:18,615
{\an8}♪♪
61
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,661
Pressure reader.
Fermentation chamber.
62
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,163
{\an8}Copper lining. Wow.
Morty blew all this up?
63
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,623
{\an8}What's a mash tun?
64
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:27,999
{\an8}Just get an empty beer keg
for that.
65
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,668
{\an8}I'll also need
60 gallon drums.
66
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,169
{\an8}Okay. Up front,
I'm gonna buy myself some
67
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,963
{\an8}shit since
I'm running your errand.
68
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,131
{\an8}Deal.
69
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,507
{\an8}Ooh.
Can I get a little surprise?
70
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,676
{\an8}No. The Amex automatically
blocks you, Jerry.
71
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,344
{\an8}How does it know
I'm using the card?
72
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,804
{\an8}Because of the kind of stuff
you buy.
73
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:41,972
{\an8}What do I buy?
74
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,515
{\an8}Dumb stuff.
75
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,515
{\an8}Dumb stuff.
76
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,768
{\an8}Computer, replace potato.
77
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:51,273
{\an8}Computer: The only Grimaldian
potato in the galaxy is here.
78
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,816
{\an8}God damn it!
79
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,360
{\an8}Let's go.
80
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,112
{\an8}No, thanks. You're just gonna
yell at me.
81
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,030
{\an8}Morty, what if I told you
I have a thing that'll make it
82
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,158
{\an8}so you never hear me scream
at you again?
83
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:04,786
{\an8}Wait. For real?
What kind of thing?
84
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,371
{\an8}Rick, what the hell?!
85
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,458
{\an8}Oh! Ah!
[ Wailing ]
86
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,627
Rick,
what did you do?
87
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,212
It's a Sympathid,
a species
88
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,173
that generates
unlimited empathy in its hosts.
89
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,549
No matter what I say or do,
90
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,426
{\an8}the Sympathid
will gloss over it
91
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,094
{\an8}like a Disney edit
of a slasher movie.
92
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,387
{\an8}Here, watch.
93
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,889
{\an8}You're a worthless piece
of shit, Morty!
94
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,390
{\an8}I'm so disappointed in you.
95
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,390
{\an8}Rick, fuck you!
96
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,058
{\an8}I can still hear
you screaming.
97
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,312
{\an8}Okay, it must need to burrow
a little bit deeper.
98
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,563
{\an8}There we go.
Let's try again.
99
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,357
{\an8}You're a piece
of sh...
100
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,817
{\an8}...work, Morty!
101
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,819
{\an8}Like a golden retriever.
A Rick's best friend.
102
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,863
{\an8}And when I call you
a disappointment,
103
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:42,574
{\an8}it's because I believe you can
be so much better than you are.
104
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,659
{\an8}How's that?
Pretty good, huh?
105
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,411
{\an8}It nibbles on your
empathy centers
106
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,954
{\an8}and poops out something
much stronger.
107
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,749
{\an8}Wait. It eats my empathy?
108
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,749
{\an8}Don't worry.
109
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,251
{\an8}We'll only keep it in long
enough to win a potato together.
110
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,420
{\an8}Wait. We have to win one.
How do we --
111
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,838
{\an8}By dancing
with the stars!
112
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,006
[ Grunting ]
113
00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,090
Oh!
114
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,175
[ Grunting ]
115
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,635
[ Gasps ]
116
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,595
[ Grunting ]
117
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:07,974
Uh...
118
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,435
{\an8}Hey. It's okay.
119
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,812
{\an8}Focus on my hips.
120
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,438
{\an8}That's where my center
of gravity is.
121
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,898
{\an8}I don't know, Rick.
122
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,107
{\an8}You've got this.
I believe in you.
123
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,859
{\an8}You two are up.
124
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,695
{\an8}Announcer: And now performing
"Claier de Lune: Epic Remix"
125
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,114
from the "Godzilla: King
of the Monsters" trailer,
126
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,785
Rick Sanchez
and his partner Morty Smith.
127
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:34,125
{\an8}♪♪
128
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:41,675
{\an8}♪♪
129
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:49,057
{\an8}♪♪
130
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:55,814
{\an8}♪♪
131
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,859
Huzzah! A triumph in movement.
132
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,652
Rick, I did it!
I caught you.
133
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,195
I knew you could do it,
buddy!
134
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,531
Announcer: Congratulations,
newest champions.
135
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,658
Here is your reward.
136
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,494
One perfect
Grimaldian potato.
137
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,413
And did you see
when we nailed that triple spin?
138
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,832
Your timing was
metronomic, Morty.
139
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,126
And then when
I caught you -- oh.
140
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:20,505
Oh, all of that
was the Sympathid, wasn't it?
141
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,507
Did we actually
dance or...
142
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,801
The dancing was real.
The trust, the connection,
143
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,678
not so much.
144
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,555
It was real nice to
to feel like that with you.
145
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,223
Well, it can't stay
in there forever.
146
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,725
There's a bit of
a comedown.
147
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,351
What kind of
comedown -- aah!
148
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,312
[ Moans ]
149
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,522
I feel like shit.
150
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,691
Wow, it's so nice outside.
151
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,151
Stop guilting me!
152
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,486
Oh, my God.
This is our fifth Home Depot.
153
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,447
I'm tired of depots.
154
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,032
I'm not going home
without those drums.
155
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,867
It's the last thing
we need on Grandpa Rick's list.
156
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,286
Maybe we should
have done all the Rick shopping
157
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,121
before we went
Summer shopping.
158
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,457
I wasn't going to miss out
on that Gucci x Kellogg's drop.
159
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,251
Also, I didn't know everyone was
gonna be out of 60 gallon drums.
160
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,878
[ Thudding ]
161
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,087
What the shit?
162
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,797
That dude's hoarding
all the drums!
163
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,716
Why is this guy
such a drum hog?
164
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,760
I'm looking for the Petco.
My dog needs...
165
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:07,844
Ah!
166
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,554
Summer:
Oh, he's a serial killer.
167
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,389
Jesus!
We go to rescue that girl.
168
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,724
We got to
call the cops.
169
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:13,725
Are you kidding?
Those drums are evidence.
170
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,226
The cops will take them all.
171
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,145
I need you to follow
my lead.
172
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,066
[ Groaning ]
173
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,735
[ Chuckles ]
These hatchbacks, huh?
174
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,236
Uh, is that
a dead girl?
175
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,905
[ Chuckles ]
You got me.
176
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,406
Thought this rug would do
the deed,
177
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,909
but it's clearly
not working out.
178
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:34,079
Ooh. Now, those are
a good idea. Mm.
179
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,081
Wish I'd thought of
60 gallon drums.
180
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,668
Yeah, yeah, they're kind of
industry standard.
181
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,046
Is my face red?
Amateur serial killer here.
182
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:46,132
Uh, you think maybe
I could buy a couple off you?
183
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,886
Sure.
Uh, retail price is 75 bucks.
184
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:53,848
Oh, thanks. Saved my night.
Uh, here, I've got 100.
185
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,392
Uh, I don't have
any change.
186
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:56,977
That's okay. Keep it.
187
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,604
No, no, I'm a killer,
not a thief.
188
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:04,275
Look, I've got plenty of change
at my place.
189
00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:07,529
It's right down the street.
190
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,280
Oh.
191
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,200
We got to save that girl.
192
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,411
Summer: [ Muffled ]
We got to get those drums!
193
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:19,290
Hey, dipshit, get on the bus
so I can make fun of you!
194
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:22,043
You've got the body
of a 14 year old boy,
195
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,379
and I'm gonna beat the shit
out of that body.
196
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:27,882
Bully is life! I'm gonna make
you so fucking sad.
197
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,802
Yeah. Okay, pal.
Good luck with that.
198
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,639
They're paycheck
to paycheck,
199
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,891
but they keep voting
against their own interests.
200
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,644
I see you.
I know how much pain you're in.
201
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,479
It's not your fault.
202
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:42,605
[ Sobbing ]
203
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,190
[ Cheering ]
204
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,526
Mr. Goldenfold: And that's why
the Boston Tea Party
205
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,570
sparked
the American Revolution.
206
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,364
Holy integers!
A raised hand.
207
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,657
This is why I only teach math.
208
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,534
History classes
get you canceled.
209
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,161
I just wanted to say
210
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,996
that this history lesson looks
a little different
211
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,165
when you empathize
with all the parties involved.
212
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,251
You take a smart pill?
You're too wise for a child.
213
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,669
Next time I have to sub,
214
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,337
maybe you should do
the teaching.
215
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,299
We should talk about the
real issue here, Mr. Goldenfold.
216
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,301
Your ex-wife. Call her.
217
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:14,345
You might not get another shot,
but you'll at least get closure.
218
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,848
I wish you were my son.
219
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,516
Hey, can I talk about
how I was bullied in high school
220
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,851
because of my last name?
221
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,102
There's time enough
for everyone,
222
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,687
Principal Vagina.
223
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:27,984
♪ Thank you, India,
thank you, Providence ♪
224
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:32,864
♪ Thank you, disillusionment ♪
225
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,825
♪ Thank you, nothingness ♪
226
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:38,203
♪ Thank you, clarity ♪
227
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:43,041
♪ Thank you, thank you,
silence ♪
228
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,210
♪ Yeah ♪
229
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,379
♪ Oh, oh ♪
230
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:55,470
{\an8}♪♪
231
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:59,724
Thanks for waiting.
I had to unload the stuff.
232
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,060
Tea?
233
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,353
Sure.
234
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,564
Uh, I don't have to be
worried about this, do I?
235
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:07,816
[ Chuckles ]
236
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,652
I don't know. Do you?
237
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:12,278
[ Chuckles ]
238
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,572
[ Laughing ]
239
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:18,243
Let me get you that change
for the drums.
240
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,872
[ Summer grunting ]
241
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:26,042
[ Jerry and man laughing ]
242
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,294
Oh!
243
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,422
[ Summer grunts ]
244
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,759
[ Grunts ]
245
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,178
Woman: Hello?
Please let me live.
246
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,596
I'll do anything!
247
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,973
Oh! You're alive.
248
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,600
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Help! Help!
249
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,269
Shh, shh. Okay.
250
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,271
Uh, yeah.
I'm gonna get you out of there.
251
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,856
Thank you. Thank you!
252
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:50,233
If you help me get these
60 gallon drums out of here.
253
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,651
Huh?
254
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:52,777
[ Slurping ]
255
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,154
Got to say,
256
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:57,323
you don't seem
like a serial killer.
257
00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:01,786
Oh, I promise I'm
a nightmare person.
258
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,538
The worst of the worst.
259
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,375
Really?
What's your signature?
260
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,752
Ah. My signature.
261
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,129
Uh, what's yours?
262
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:15,091
I leave a cat toy
in my victim's pockets.
263
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,469
That's why I'm the cat
and mouse killer.
264
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,138
[ Toy squeaks ]
265
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,138
Oh.
266
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:25,059
Well, uh, I, uh, pour
honey in the hair,
267
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:28,646
and then I take,
a bunch of flour
268
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,106
and kind of mash
it in there, too,
269
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,984
and some sprinkles
and a balloon,
270
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,779
and like, I make a card
that says "Happy Birthday."
271
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,157
And then I wrap them
in wrapping paper,
272
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:43,369
and that's why they call
me the Birthday Butcher.
273
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:47,832
I kill them on their birthday
because that's a double kill.
274
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,834
You know,
the death of the child
275
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,669
and the death of the parent.
276
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,296
The parent
who metaphorically dies
277
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:56,341
when they become a childless,
regular person again.
278
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,176
It's two in one.
279
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:02,513
And when I kill twins,
it's four at the same time.
280
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:05,808
Oh, there's real
darkness in you.
281
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,519
[ Machine whirring ]
282
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,772
[ Knocking ]
283
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,772
Hey, Rick.
284
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,148
I've been thinking about
our boundaries.
285
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,317
And you're right.
I shouldn't just walk in
286
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,527
and expect access
to your time and attention.
287
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,154
What a pleasant surprise,
Morty.
288
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,156
I didn't expect the Sympathid
to have lasting effects.
289
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,200
Well, I'd like to
bring our trust up
290
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,494
to our good old
Rick and Morty baseline.
291
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:27,038
It's important that
you feel appreciated and seen.
292
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:30,375
Point is, I'm gonna focus on
finding balance between my needs
293
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,043
and what you want.
294
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,545
Well, I want that
thermometer.
295
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,089
Easy!
296
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,216
Do you mind if I take this?
My grandpa needs it.
297
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,218
[ Grunting ]
298
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,552
Ahh! Kaboom!
299
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,221
Aw, look at
the little guy!
300
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:44,597
Morty, your arm.
301
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,765
My arm?
302
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:46,975
Yeah, buddy. Your arm.
303
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,476
What's up with my arm?
304
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,061
Oh, do you have
the Sympathid in right now?
305
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,855
I don't know, maybe.
Is that a problem?
306
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,399
How long have
you had it in?
307
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,360
Rick, it's making this, us,
the whole thing work.
308
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,404
I got to take a look at it,
little guy.
309
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,863
[ Laughing ]
310
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,863
Okay?
311
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,490
Oh, Rick, that tickles.
312
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,490
Hold still.
313
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:03,950
[ Whirring ]
314
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,744
Aah!
315
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,744
Moron!
316
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,247
What the fuck
have you done?
317
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,249
You thought you could let
an alien parasite feast
318
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,876
on your brain
without consequences?
319
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,295
[ Screaming ]
320
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,839
[ Roars ]
321
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,173
Where are we?
What's happening?!
322
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,633
[ Growling ]
323
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,633
Why is my arm over there?
324
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:21,884
You sympathized
with an explosion,
325
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,261
you dumb piece of shit!
326
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,724
Rick: Morty, see that
giant brain crab?
327
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,517
That's your fault.
328
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,517
Oh, fuck off.
329
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,102
Fuck off?
330
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,102
Yeah, Rick.
331
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,021
"Oh, you ruined my
morning!"
332
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:37,108
Get over yourself,
you dumb dead wife having bitch.
333
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,193
[ Roars ]
334
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:43,239
Okay, your empathy centers
have been digested.
335
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,199
You literally can't
empathize.
336
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,410
Oh, so I'm you now?
Quick, get me a kid
337
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,704
so I can insult the shit
out of him.
338
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,831
[ Roaring ]
339
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:56,419
All right, okay, maybe I leaned
a little hard on the shortcut
340
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,087
when I could have
just talked to you.
341
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,214
What difference does it make?
Nothing matters.
342
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,050
Yeah, but I try
not to be ghoulish, Morty.
343
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,011
And this counts
as ghoulish.
344
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,638
You can empathize.
You just don't want to.
345
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:08,973
I'm old. I'm allowed
to squeeze in
346
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:09,974
some efficiency
here and there.
347
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,310
Oh, shit, Morty!
348
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:13,811
Aaah!
349
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,313
[ Grunting ]
350
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,023
[ Roaring ]
351
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,816
[ Screams ]
352
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,485
[ Grunting ]
353
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,279
[ Screams ]
354
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:31,579
[ Thuds ]
355
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,997
[ Grunting ]
356
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,208
Oh, we're gonna die.
We're gonna die!
357
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,585
Hey, this is on you
for walking up to a scary guy
358
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,045
and asking for directions.
359
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,171
Oh, that's worse
than a victim blaming teen
360
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,464
obsessed with murder drums.
361
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,299
So help me God,
if you fuck this up,
362
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,009
I'll start screaming,
and he'll come out here.
363
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,345
You're a terrible person.
364
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,345
I'm not even here, lady.
365
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,889
And if I'm not here, you're
back at the bottom of a well.
366
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,057
Don't even start
unpacking this shit
367
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,350
because it's airtight.
368
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,684
You're not even
another victim?
369
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,395
You came here
on purpose?
370
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:58,898
Your side is low.
Lift your side, bitch.
371
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,608
Oh, no, no, no, no.
372
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,361
What the hell?
That girl looks just like you.
373
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,155
Yeah. Yeah.
Uh, that's my daughter.
374
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,698
Wasn't she in the rug?
375
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,367
Looks like she's alive!
376
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,494
Jesus Christ, you were trying
to kill your daughter?
377
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:12,870
That is fucked, man!
378
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,330
[ Sirens wailing ]
379
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,330
Oh, thank God.
380
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,082
You called the police?
381
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,082
Yeah.
382
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,334
But you're a serial killer.
You're crazy.
383
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,586
I thought I was
until I met you.
384
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,046
I'm here for the girl.
385
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,507
I'm not letting
you touch her, man!
386
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,592
[ Sirens wailing ]
387
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,011
Help! He's gonna kill me!
388
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,139
No, I'm not.
I'm a normal guy.
389
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,723
Come out with your hands up.
390
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,101
No normal guy could come
up with the stuff that you said!
391
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,520
I'm only here for your drums
and to
392
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:40,064
rescue that girl,
if I can convince my daughter.
393
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:44,610
So you made me call
the police on myself?
394
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,573
Come back here!
I'm gonna kill you!
395
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,825
They said the '70s were full
of serial killers
396
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:54,078
because World War II
fucked up all their dads.
397
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,746
But you know what I think?
398
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,748
Sir?
399
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,748
I think it's in our DNA.
400
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,333
Uh...
401
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,333
I think you and I
402
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,919
are two bad lattes away
from getting out the knives.
403
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,754
Um...
404
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,754
We're all animals.
405
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,591
Fuck! Fuck!
406
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,968
[ Both screaming ]
407
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:13,431
I wish this tire
was my head!
408
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,475
[ Sighs ]
409
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,435
Get the battering ram.
410
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,646
I can't believe it's
my fucking birthday.
411
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,648
[ Groans ]
412
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:23,941
I don't feel good.
413
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,234
Okay, we got
to get you out of here
414
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,486
and get that thing
out of your head.
415
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,321
Fuckin' bug is
making me feel
416
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,240
a lot of feelings, Morty,
a lot of feelings.
417
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,242
I know what you
want, Morty.
418
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,827
Come here, come here,
come here.
419
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,579
Grandpa's got a nice kiss
for your forehead.
420
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,830
[ Roaring ]
421
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,207
Grandpa should be
giving you hugs,
422
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,125
not turning you into
a trash can
423
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,919
when I'm too lazy to walk
across the room.
424
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,338
Wait, when was that?
Here they come!
425
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,591
[ Growling ]
426
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,636
Oh, no! No, no, no.
His juice is coming out.
427
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:55,056
Oh, Morty,
we got to put his juice back in.
428
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,266
What are you doing?
429
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,266
I got to call his family.
430
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,143
Rick, this isn't the time!
431
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:02,438
Mrs. Gorbleflax?
I'm sorry. Your husband's dead.
432
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,773
Give me
the fucking phone.
433
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,191
He lost all his juice!
434
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,651
[ Growling ]
435
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:07,985
Oh, my God!
436
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,445
We got to make
so many phone calls!
437
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,322
Hurry up.
I get it, Rick.
438
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,324
I get how frustrating it is
to try to get things done
439
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,160
while your sidekick shits
the emotional bed.
440
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,413
[ Alarm blaring ]
441
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,833
I got to clean my car.
So much broken glass.
442
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,168
Set destination for Earth!
443
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,836
Is that a used syringe
on the floor?
444
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,089
What will people think?
445
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,049
[ Phone ringing ]
446
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,676
What's your problem?
447
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,261
Summer: What the hell?
What's your problem?
448
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:34,679
Put Grandpa Rick
on the phone.
449
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,347
Not now. There's a brain crab
in Rick's head
450
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,765
that's making him
into a Hallmark movie.
451
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,017
Every piece of paper
has an animal locked inside.
452
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,186
Well, Dad's about to be killed
by the police so...
453
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,354
We can get another dad.
454
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,981
What?
455
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,981
What?
456
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,983
Wow! Look at the stars!
We're in space!
457
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,609
Morty, I don't know what
the hell is going on.
458
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,236
Get over here now,
or I'll make sure
459
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,571
whatever happens next
is worse.
460
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:54,323
Fuck! Fine.
Set course for Summer.
461
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,080
[ Explosion ]
462
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:03,833
Grandpa Rick, I...
463
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,126
Shh, shh, shh.
464
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,836
You don't need to prove
yourself to me.
465
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,963
Grandpa loves you.
466
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,131
What the literal dick?
467
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,841
Told you.
Brain crabbed.
468
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,718
He's in there?
469
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,718
Yeah.
470
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,845
Housekiller Ram
is here, sir.
471
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:20,224
Great. This guy wants a Waco?
I'll show him who's God.
472
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,310
Hold on. Let me try.
473
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,229
Dad, are you
still alive?
474
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:27,106
Morty! Help!
475
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,234
I am gonna
boil you alive!
476
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,403
Kid, you're not gonna
talk him down.
477
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,323
These kind of guys,
they got zero empathy.
478
00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,158
Right now,
neither do I.
479
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,785
Excuse me,
Mr. Serial Killer, sir.
480
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,788
Look, I know how you feel.
I know everything's nothing.
481
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,707
We live in a world
of made up rules,
482
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:47,251
policed by policies
that serve no one.
483
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,920
You feel alone,
and you don't understand anyone.
484
00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:53,424
But that doesn't mean
you can't understand yourself.
485
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,594
I know what I need.
I need someone to hug me.
486
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,387
Not because they want something
from me,
487
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:00,556
but because they
just want to hug me.
488
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:03,184
But the world won't give people
like us hugs
489
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,603
unless we tell people
what we need.
490
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,272
So if you want a hug,
a real one,
491
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,275
then walk out
and ask for it.
492
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,695
[ Hammer thuds ]
493
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,323
I want a hug!
494
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,700
[ Gunfire ]
495
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,795
Cop: He's got a knife!
496
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:32,713
Well...
497
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,298
Morty,
I'm so proud of you.
498
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:37,635
You did it.
And this, sir, is for you.
499
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,053
Happy birthday.
500
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,054
How did you know?
501
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,138
I could just tell.
502
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:42,973
Can I come out,
503
00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:45,017
or are you
gonna shoot me, too?
504
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,727
Marlowe:
Do you have a knife?
505
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:49,689
I technically have
a Swiss Army knife in my pocket.
506
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:51,399
[ Guns clicking ]
507
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,529
What -- was that
the sound of an entire
508
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,989
police force
out of bullets?
509
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,283
You always feel
like this?
510
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:02,993
Like cut off like this?
511
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:07,498
Yeah. Morty, the truth is, maybe
you shouldn't empathize with me.
512
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:10,501
Putting this thing in your head
made you ignore my behavior.
513
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,670
But being cruel
is a danger signal,
514
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,965
and you need to heed those
red flags so you don't get hurt.
515
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,842
Are you saying you're
a piece of shit?
516
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,010
Yeah, I guess so.
517
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,388
I guess that's okay.
518
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,399
I wish I could enjoy this.
519
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,786
[ Roaring ]
520
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,790
[ Belches ]
No hard feelings.
521
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:59,383
{\an8}♪♪
522
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:09,143
{\an8}♪♪
523
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:18,903
{\an8}♪♪
524
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,404
{\an8}♪♪
525
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,740
[ Laughter ]
526
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,283
[ Sobbing ]
527
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,748
Was that supposed
to make me feel better?
528
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,584
A pun!
A student slashed my tires.
529
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,378
Another one filled my
desk drawer with period blood.
530
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,755
It's gonna be okay.
531
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,508
No, it's not.
I make $40,000 a year.
532
00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:42,468
I'd pocket more money
if I was in prison.
533
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,762
I see you, I see you.
534
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,014
What the fuck
are you talking about?
535
00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:49,683
Did you even see
the other side of this drawing?
536
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,560
It's a death threat!
537
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,560
Shh.
538
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:54,021
What are you shushing?
539
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:55,648
Shhhhh.
540
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,610
Did you get any of that?