1 00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:11,429 [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,305 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 3 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,099 MAN: [SINGING] I telegraphed and phoned 4 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:02,688 I sent air mail special, too 5 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,272 Yeah, I know. 6 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:11,155 [SINGING] Answer was goodbye There was even postage due 7 00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:14,909 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 8 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:18,454 I fell in love just once 9 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,832 And then it had to be with you 10 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,918 Triple rhyme. 11 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:32,134 [SINGING] Everything happens to me 12 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,557 Oh, fuck. 13 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:40,893 [GROANS] 14 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,396 Yeah. 15 00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:45,189 ANNOUNCER: [ON RADIO] WQXR notes the passing 16 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,858 of one of America's foremost songwriters, 17 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:52,238 Lorenz Hart, who died last night at Doctors Hospital in Manhattan 18 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,365 from complications of pneumonia. 19 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,201 Mr. Hart was 48 years old. 20 00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:01,038 For over 20 years, Hart and his partner, Richard Rodgers, 21 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:03,791 Rodgers wrote the music, Hart the words, 22 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,371 combined their respective geniuses to 23 00:02:06,371 --> 00:02:09,003 create a string of musical-comedy hits. 24 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:12,299 Often referred to as America's Gilbert and Sullivan, 25 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:15,594 Rodgers and Hart will be remembered for such songs as, 26 00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:18,556 My Funny Valentine, The Lady Is A Tramp, 27 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,893 Where or When, With A Song In My Heart, Isn't It Romantic?, 28 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,396 My Heart Stood Still, Bewitched, 29 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,482 I Didn't Know What Time It Was, Manhattan, 30 00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:29,900 and Blue Moon. 31 00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:32,737 [CHOIR VOCALIZING] 32 00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,365 [SINGING] Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla 33 00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:38,743 Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla 34 00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:41,912 We know we belong to the land 35 00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,164 Here comes "grand." 36 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:47,001 And the land we belong to is grand And when we say 37 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:51,255 Yow! Ayipioeeay! 38 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:54,800 We're only sayin' "You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!" 39 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,844 I need a drink. 40 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,096 -Lorry. -I'll see you later, Mom. 41 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:00,347 L-A-H-O-M-A 42 00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:01,432 [EXHALES] 43 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:06,520 Oklahoma! 44 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:07,646 Yow! 45 00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:09,190 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 46 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,575 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] 47 00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,000 [PLAYING MELLOW TUNE] 48 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,127 [DOOR OPENS] 49 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:55,403 All right. For the last time, put the letters on the table. 50 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:58,489 "If Laszlo and the cause mean that much to you, 51 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,282 "you won't stop at anything." 52 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:04,120 All right, I'll make it easy on you. 53 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:08,165 "Go ahead, shoot. You'd be doing me a favor." 54 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,918 Just remember, I got this gun pointed at your dick. 55 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,421 Oh. That's my least vulnerable spot. 56 00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,214 [BOTH LAUGHING] 57 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,800 BARTENDER: Jesus Christ! How many times have we seen that picture? 58 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,094 Worst line in Casablanca? 59 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:23,305 "Well, a precedent is being broken." 60 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:28,686 "A precedent is being broken"? How can you break a goddamn precedent? 61 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:32,064 Do they even speak English over there in Hollywood? 62 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:35,234 Still, you have to love Claude Rains. 63 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,903 He makes that picture. 64 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:39,780 -Sure. -HART: You know why he's so great? 65 00:04:39,864 --> 00:04:42,575 He's a leading man, and he's short, 66 00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,161 which proves you can be both. 67 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,454 And I love this. 68 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:48,122 He says to Ilsa, 69 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:53,127 "Mademoiselle, he's the kind of man that, if I were a woman 70 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:56,172 "and I were not around, I should be in love with Rick." 71 00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,131 [CHUCKLES] 72 00:04:57,214 --> 00:05:00,551 Think about it. Whom does he end up with at the end of the picture? 73 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,513 Who's strolling away together arm in arm into the fog? 74 00:05:04,597 --> 00:05:06,140 You're saying Rick and Captain Renault... 75 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,516 What do you think goes on over there 76 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,935 at the Free French garrison in Brazzaville? 77 00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:12,229 That is a scene they can't show you. 78 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,274 Okay. Best line in Casablanca? 79 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,987 HART AND BARTENDER: "Nobody ever loved me that much." 80 00:05:20,071 --> 00:05:21,697 Isn't that magnificent? 81 00:05:21,781 --> 00:05:24,992 Six words. "Nobody ever loved me that much." 82 00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:27,119 [SCOFFS] And, really, who's ever been loved enough? 83 00:05:27,203 --> 00:05:28,662 Who's ever been loved half enough? 84 00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:29,830 Would you get me a shot? 85 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,249 Larry, you told me under no circumstances... 86 00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,292 I'm just going to look at it. 87 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,585 -[INHALES DEEPLY] -Take the measure 88 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,879 of its amber heft in my hand. 89 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,507 -You told me not... -Just give me the drink. 90 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,092 [EXHALES DEEPLY] 91 00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:46,680 Did I tell you what Elizabeth told me? 92 00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:48,557 That's the girl I'm meeting here tonight. 93 00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,476 -You mean the one you... -Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. 94 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:53,813 -What? -Show some class, all right? 95 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:56,232 Her mother is going to come walking in here any second. 96 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:57,900 -Sorry. -Seriously. 97 00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:02,571 I... I adore this girl. And, I'm telling you, this is beyond sex. 98 00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:04,824 -What's beyond sex? -I don't understand it. 99 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:09,036 She's completely undeserving, but isn't that the way it always is? 100 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,914 "Irrational adoration." That's the phrase she came up with. 101 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,833 She's a poet, too. Did I tell you that? 102 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,419 Oh, and would you give me a shot of club soda? 103 00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:20,297 I'll drink one and admire the other. 104 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,633 So, this girl... 105 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,887 You really, you know, 106 00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:30,057 with a 20-year-old college girl, huh? 107 00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:33,018 It is more complicated than you could possibly imagine. 108 00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:34,562 Uh, leave the bottle. 109 00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:37,022 It's a visual poem. 110 00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:38,649 You're not giving me any details here. 111 00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:41,026 You know what my secret goal is for the rest of this year? 112 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,737 -What? -I'm serious. Really. 113 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:46,031 My secret goal is to stop being so scared. 114 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,952 -Elizabeth Weiland. For... -HART: Those are mine! 115 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:53,497 Jesus! That is all you get for five dollars? 116 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,166 Plus delivery, yes. 117 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,083 [SIGHS] 118 00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,461 Lorenz Hart? 119 00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:01,630 You know, I kind of think I've heard that name before. 120 00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:05,551 You just earned yourself a dollar tip, kid. 121 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,928 A precedent is being broken. 122 00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:09,430 [CHUCKLES] 123 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:13,851 Hey, she gave this to me. Mailed it all the way from New Haven 124 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,187 because I said I wanted something she'd actually touched. 125 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,564 [SNIFFS] Christ! It's like I'm 17 again, 126 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,191 except I never was 17. 127 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:23,235 I went directly from childhood to washed-up. 128 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,238 -Eddie, get the kid a drink, would you? 129 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,698 -No thanks. I'm... I'm working. 130 00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:30,409 Oh, Christ, that's when you should be drinking. 131 00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,620 What's your name? Sven, am I right? 132 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:35,247 -Troy. -HART: Ooh, even better. 133 00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:37,249 Listen, Sven, are you free tonight? 134 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,126 Eddie, would you get the kid a goddamn shot? 135 00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:40,419 -Yeah. -'Cause I am throwing 136 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,922 an enormous party at my place. 137 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,174 All of show business is going to be there. 138 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:48,928 I've booked the Golden Gate Quartet. I'm serious. 139 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:51,013 I want you to show up, bring a friend, 140 00:07:51,097 --> 00:07:52,306 bring a dozen friends. 141 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:55,309 It's going to be like nothing you've ever seen before. 142 00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:59,230 I'm up at the Ardsley, you know? 91st, on the Park. 143 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:03,442 Just tell the desk clerk that you're with Lorenz Hart's party. 144 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,403 You're going to need to know the password. 145 00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,321 -Are you ready for the password? -TROY: Mmm-hmm. 146 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:13,494 "Nobody ever loved me that much." 147 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:15,913 Slow! Oh. 148 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:19,291 -Now that is a beautiful sight. -[COUGHS] 149 00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:20,501 [SNIFFS] 150 00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:22,878 What, you don't drink? 151 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,881 [SINGING] After one whole quart of brandy 152 00:08:25,965 --> 00:08:28,968 Like a daisy I awake 153 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,720 You know that song? 154 00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:32,430 Uh, no, no. 155 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:38,227 [SINGING] My funny Valentine Sweet comic Valentine... 156 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,354 I really don't listen to the radio that much. 157 00:08:40,438 --> 00:08:41,522 You said you know my name! 158 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,191 -You don't know one Rodgers and Hart song? -I know... 159 00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:45,109 I just can't really remember... 160 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,110 [SINGING] I'll take Manhattan 161 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,279 The Bronx and Staten... 162 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:51,449 We were on the cover of Time Magazine! 163 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,201 My picture is on the wall right... 164 00:08:55,286 --> 00:08:57,246 Eddie, where's my picture? 165 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,330 EDDIE: They move 'em around. 166 00:08:58,414 --> 00:09:00,332 -What do you... -PIANIST: Well, how about this one? 167 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:05,004 [SINGING] Blue moon 168 00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,213 I know that one! 169 00:09:06,297 --> 00:09:09,675 [SINGING ALONG] You saw me standing alone 170 00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:14,138 Without a dream in my heart 171 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:17,558 Without a love of my own 172 00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:20,061 Worst goddamn lyric I ever wrote! 173 00:09:20,144 --> 00:09:23,105 -You wrote that? -Wasn't even supposed to be the title. 174 00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,607 [CHUCKLING] I like that song. 175 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,692 HART: Hmm. I'll take my tip back. 176 00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,697 I want you at my party, Sven! 177 00:09:31,781 --> 00:09:32,948 [DOOR OPENS] 178 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,702 Doc Bender said to me the other night, 179 00:09:36,786 --> 00:09:39,288 after I told him I'd proposed to Vivienne again, 180 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,290 "She turned me down, again," 181 00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:44,710 he said... [IN GRUFF VOICE] "Larry, make up your mind. 182 00:09:44,794 --> 00:09:47,129 "Are you homosexual or heterosexual?" 183 00:09:47,213 --> 00:09:49,382 [IN NORMAL VOICE] I said, "Doc, I'm ambisexual." 184 00:09:49,465 --> 00:09:51,217 He said... [IMITATING] "What the hell does that even mean?" 185 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,968 [IN NORMAL VOICE] I said, "It means I can jerk off 186 00:09:53,052 --> 00:09:54,762 "equally well with either hand." 187 00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,806 Oh, Larry! There's a lady present. 188 00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:59,683 HART: [CHUCKLING] Well, women can use either hand, too. 189 00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:04,480 But to be a writer, you have to be kind of omni-sexual, don't you? 190 00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:08,567 You have to have, inside yourself, you know, everyone on earth. 191 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,403 Men, women, horses. 192 00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:14,115 How can you give voice to the whole chorus of the world 193 00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:17,785 if the whole chorus of the world isn't already inside you? 194 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,246 [PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING] 195 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:25,751 Eddie, what do you call a tireless, relentless homosexual? 196 00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:27,920 -[MUMBLES] -"Indefagitable." 197 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,797 [CHUCKLING] 198 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:34,927 To the great and glorious past, when it all mattered so much. 199 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,346 Mmm. 200 00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:39,098 Keep playing. You're good. 201 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:43,519 -Oh, thank you. I'm an aspiring composer. -HART: "Aspiring"? 202 00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,563 -That means you're breathing, right? -PIANIST: Mmm. 203 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,150 I better take your name down in case I need a new partner. 204 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:51,318 Hey, did you go to the opening tonight? 205 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:55,573 Oklahoma! With an exclamation point, no less. 206 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:59,076 Fact. Any title that feels the need for an exclamation point, 207 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,828 you want to steer clear of. 208 00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:02,621 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 209 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,206 What did you say your name was again? 210 00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:07,585 Uh, Morty Rifkin. But I go by the name of Morty Rafferty. 211 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,171 [SOFTLY] No one could possibly guess you're Jewish. 212 00:11:11,047 --> 00:11:12,048 [CHUCKLES] 213 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,138 MORTY: Wha'dja think of Oklahoma? 214 00:11:20,473 --> 00:11:23,392 What did I think of Oklahoma? 215 00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:26,604 [INHALES] Well, Knuckles, 216 00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:29,857 Knuckles O'Rifkin, that's what I'm going to call you, 217 00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:33,444 I saw the show a couple of times in previews in New Haven, 218 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:37,490 back when they were still calling it Away We Go! Exclamation point. 219 00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:40,534 And I felt sure Dick was gonna call me, 220 00:11:41,327 --> 00:11:43,996 "Larry, we're in big trouble. 221 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,666 "I need you to funny up the show. We need some big comedy numbers." 222 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,126 And I was all ready to say, 223 00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:53,506 "Dick, instead of all this corn-pone Americana, 224 00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:56,717 "let's do a send-up of corn-pone Americana!" 225 00:11:56,801 --> 00:11:59,678 I was already writing lyrics in my head. I couldn't stop. 226 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:00,930 And did he call you? 227 00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:04,016 HART: Are you kidding? He was too busy writing more hits. Huh. 228 00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:08,604 I sat in my box seat tonight and watched 229 00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:11,440 -"Oklahomo, exclamation point"... -[EDDIE CHUCKLES] 230 00:12:11,524 --> 00:12:13,943 ...down there, glittering in all its pink lights 231 00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:17,321 and all those cowboy hats and twirling lassos, 232 00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:21,742 and I knew two things with absolute certainty. 233 00:12:21,826 --> 00:12:23,702 -[MORTY PLAYS PIANO] -It was a 14-karat hit 234 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:27,206 and it was a 14-karat piece of shit. 235 00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,583 Oh. Friend of mine saw it in previews, 236 00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:31,544 said it was one of the best shows he's ever seen. 237 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:35,965 The show is fraudulent on every possible level. 238 00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,217 And this is not jealousy speaking, okay? 239 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:44,765 I watched that show tonight and I felt this great sinking in my heart. 240 00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:47,330 And all around me people are roaring. 241 00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:49,812 They are roaring at third-rate jokes. 242 00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:52,773 I wanted to grab the audience by the shoulders and say, 243 00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:56,986 "What are you laughing at? Come on! Demand more!" And... 244 00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,864 Rodgers is a genius. 245 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,533 I say that without one second's hesitation. 246 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,243 You're a piano player. You know that I'm right. 247 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:05,453 Yeah, he's pretty good. 248 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,329 Pretty good? 249 00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:11,792 There is no one with his range, his inventiveness, 250 00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:17,423 great soaring masculine melodies building like pile drivers. 251 00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,675 I mean, Rodgers is a cold-hearted son of a bitch, 252 00:13:19,759 --> 00:13:21,469 but he can get a melody to levitate, 253 00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:26,223 and that is the hallmark of great art, levitation. 254 00:13:26,307 --> 00:13:31,520 [SINGING] I've got a beautiful feeling 255 00:13:31,604 --> 00:13:33,939 That's the moment. You hear that? 256 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:35,983 When your spine glows 257 00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:38,333 and the whole apparatus of songwriting 258 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:40,362 suddenly breaks free from gravity. 259 00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:44,366 There's maybe five people on the planet that can pull that off, 260 00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:46,786 and that son of a bitch is one of 'em. 261 00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:53,250 And then, oy... [SIGHS] Words by Oscar Hammerstein II. 262 00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:54,835 [HART AND EDDIE CHUCKLING] 263 00:13:54,919 --> 00:13:56,670 What can I say about Oscar? 264 00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:59,131 He's going to come striding in here any second, 265 00:13:59,215 --> 00:14:00,466 all seven and a half feet of him, 266 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:03,260 and, you know, Dick deliberately went with somebody tall this time, 267 00:14:03,344 --> 00:14:05,137 you know that. [INHALES DEEPLY] 268 00:14:05,221 --> 00:14:06,722 But what can I say about Oscar? 269 00:14:06,806 --> 00:14:10,267 He's so earthbound, 270 00:14:10,351 --> 00:14:13,604 and let's face it, most of us are earthbound. 271 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,148 But there are moments, I swear to God, 272 00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:18,234 there are moments in my work 273 00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:20,403 when I have made something bigger than myself. 274 00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:21,946 I agree, definitely. 275 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:25,032 Thank you. The words were bigger than the music, 276 00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:26,784 bigger than the characters who sang them, 277 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:30,413 and they approached, for maybe one-half second, something immortal. 278 00:14:31,414 --> 00:14:34,291 Excuse my limitless self-regard, but they did, 279 00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:37,336 and if nobody else is going to say it, then I'm going to. 280 00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:40,673 I have written a handful of words that are going to cheat death. 281 00:14:40,756 --> 00:14:43,300 Spoken with the modesty of a true lunatic. 282 00:14:43,384 --> 00:14:45,511 Hey! When Shakespeare wrote, 283 00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,805 "Not marble nor gilded monuments 284 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,599 "Of princes shall outlive this powerful rhyme," 285 00:14:50,683 --> 00:14:53,227 did people say, "My God, what an ego"? 286 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:57,857 No, they said he is a genius, and he knows his work is going to last. 287 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,066 So now you're Shakespeare? 288 00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:02,653 Look, Oklahoma! is going to win the goddamn Pulitzer. I know that. 289 00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:05,030 High schools are going to put it on from now till doomsday, 290 00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:07,908 because it is so inoffensive. 291 00:15:07,992 --> 00:15:11,120 But really, who wants inoffensive art? 292 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:12,371 Knuckles... [SNAPS FINGERS] 293 00:15:12,455 --> 00:15:14,540 ...are you listening to me? I'm trying to answer your question. 294 00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:17,626 Is that why God put us on the planet, to not offend people? 295 00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:20,463 -[CONTINUES PLAYING TUNE] -The problem with Oklahoma! is this, 296 00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:23,466 and the problem was right there in the original play, 297 00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:25,134 Green Grow the Fucking Lilacs. 298 00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:27,803 And Dick first showed that play to me, all right? 299 00:15:27,887 --> 00:15:30,306 He asked me to adapt it first, and I said no, 300 00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,141 and I don't mind that it's nostalgic, 301 00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,101 but Oklahoma!, exclamation point, 302 00:15:34,185 --> 00:15:37,396 is nostalgic for a world that never existed, 303 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,887 and do you really want to write a show 304 00:15:39,887 --> 00:15:42,485 where the main character's name is Curly? 305 00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:45,029 Oh, here's an idea for a song. 306 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,406 "Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry! I Just Stepped in Cow Shit!" 307 00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:49,492 [MIMICKING THE THREE STOOGES] 308 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,995 [CHUCKLES] I mean, am I bitter? 309 00:15:54,747 --> 00:15:57,333 We write together for a quarter a century, 310 00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:00,878 and the first show he writes with someone else 311 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,006 is gonna be the biggest hit he ever had. Am I bitter? 312 00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:05,758 -Larry... -HART: Fuck yes. 313 00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:09,470 But I need to tell you about Elizabeth. 314 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:10,846 I need to cleanse my heart. 315 00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:12,348 Here we go. The 20-year-old... 316 00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:14,433 [EXHALES] She's going to come in here any second. 317 00:16:15,184 --> 00:16:17,311 Uh, Rodgers is gonna be here tonight, right? 318 00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:20,481 -HART: Don't worry, I'll introduce you. -Oh, that'd be great. 319 00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,191 I'm trying to get somebody to listen to my songs. 320 00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:24,568 Well, listen and learn. 321 00:16:24,652 --> 00:16:27,822 I'm telling you about Elizabeth. 322 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,991 There's something appealingly... 323 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,161 ethereal about her face. 324 00:16:34,245 --> 00:16:35,496 What the fuck does that mean? 325 00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,207 Look, I got her all these presents. 326 00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:40,418 You bought her something from Klein's? 327 00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:42,253 [CHUCKLES] She's gonna love this. 328 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,796 Yeah, but that's used shit. What are you doing? 329 00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:45,214 HART: This is an authentic first-edition. 330 00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:47,133 You don't understand the magic 331 00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,384 and the mystery of this girl. 332 00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:51,721 "I have been waiting for this my whole life." 333 00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:54,890 It's what Somerset Maugham says in that thing, you remember? 334 00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:57,685 -Me? -HART: Yeah. 335 00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:01,605 "There's always one who loves and one who lets himself be loved." 336 00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:03,858 That's the truth, isn't it? 337 00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,109 Of course, you know you're in trouble 338 00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,610 when you're looking for the meaning of life 339 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,196 in a book with the word "bondage" in the title. 340 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,949 Larry... [EXHALES] 341 00:17:14,744 --> 00:17:16,036 She's a girl. Right? 342 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,914 Okay. See, I always thought that your interests went more towards... 343 00:17:20,499 --> 00:17:21,624 HART: My interests? 344 00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:24,754 So now you're going to analyze me? 345 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,214 Thank you, Doctor Bacardi. 346 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,509 Look, I met her at rehearsals for By Jupiter. 347 00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:31,761 And she's not an actress. 348 00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:34,555 She's a college student. Sophomore. 349 00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:37,558 Yale. Not the general school, that's for the guys. 350 00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:40,811 This is the School of Fine Arts! 351 00:17:40,895 --> 00:17:44,356 Bohemian goddesses in gray smocks 352 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,818 mixing paint in morning light. [CHUCKLES] 353 00:17:47,902 --> 00:17:49,862 She's all of 20 years old. 354 00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:51,530 And you're what? 355 00:17:51,614 --> 00:17:53,240 A youthful 47! 356 00:17:53,324 --> 00:17:55,284 [BOTH LAUGHING] 357 00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,994 You know what I call her in my letters? 358 00:17:57,078 --> 00:18:00,331 "My irreplaceable Elizabeth!" Can you believe it? 359 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,958 If I could write what's in my heart this second, 360 00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:05,920 I would have the entire audience levitating. 361 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:08,005 Oklahoma! would close in shame 362 00:18:08,089 --> 00:18:10,800 if it could hear eight bars of what's in my heart. 363 00:18:10,883 --> 00:18:13,135 And I've been in eight bars tonight, so I know what I'm talking about. 364 00:18:13,219 --> 00:18:14,470 [BANGS COUNTER] Go! 365 00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:18,307 Last summer, I found myself awake at 4:30 in the morning. 366 00:18:18,391 --> 00:18:20,267 And all I had done the previous five hours... 367 00:18:20,351 --> 00:18:23,396 What the hell are you lookin' at your watch for? 368 00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:26,482 -Larry, I'm working here. -What the hell do you think I'm doing? 369 00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:28,526 And I'm not even getting paid. All right. 370 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,155 TROY: More flowers... 371 00:18:33,239 --> 00:18:34,824 HART: Oh. Eddie, get Sven another drink! 372 00:18:34,907 --> 00:18:36,325 ...for Richard Rodgers. 373 00:18:36,409 --> 00:18:38,452 Jesus, how much did those cost? 374 00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:41,038 Sixteen dollars. Plus delivery. 375 00:18:42,665 --> 00:18:45,835 "Dick, I've got a beautiful feeling, everything's going your way. 376 00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:47,169 "Love, Dorothy." 377 00:18:47,253 --> 00:18:48,838 She's quoting Oscar? 378 00:18:55,928 --> 00:18:59,932 I write with her husband for 24 years, 379 00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:02,017 and she's quoting Oscar? 380 00:19:02,101 --> 00:19:05,730 91st on the Park, The Ardsley. We'll be going late. 381 00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:07,732 All right. Well, thanks again, fellas. 382 00:19:09,942 --> 00:19:10,943 [DOOR OPENS] 383 00:19:11,819 --> 00:19:12,820 WOMAN: Good evening. 384 00:19:16,949 --> 00:19:18,951 [PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING] 385 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,002 Indulge me for one second. 386 00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:30,546 Let me recreate for you, Elizabeth. 387 00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:32,923 Enough! Did you screw her or not? 388 00:19:33,424 --> 00:19:36,594 Show some class, Eddie. Knuckles, may I speak with you? 389 00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:37,970 Oh, sure, yeah. 390 00:19:38,054 --> 00:19:40,097 [SMACKS LIPS] So, did you screw her or not? 391 00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,146 Elizabeth! 392 00:19:48,189 --> 00:19:49,190 Larry! 393 00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:51,692 My irreplaceable Elizabeth! 394 00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:52,985 I'm so happy to see you. 395 00:19:53,069 --> 00:19:54,236 -[KISSES] -Ah... 396 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,781 -Do you like the hair? -HART: I love it. 397 00:19:56,864 --> 00:19:59,116 -It's much better than the red. -I think so. 398 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,953 I mean, I liked the red, too. But this is much more other-worldly. 399 00:20:03,037 --> 00:20:04,246 I have to go set up for the party. 400 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:06,457 No, no, no. I got you some flowers! 401 00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:07,833 Aww. 402 00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:10,586 -I'm overwhelmed. -Well, I have that effect on people. 403 00:20:10,669 --> 00:20:13,047 -I have so much to tell you. -HART: Like what? 404 00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:14,576 -I've been writing in my journal again. 405 00:20:14,576 --> 00:20:15,800 -HART: I hope you let me read it. 406 00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,676 No, no, no, no. The big one. 407 00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:22,723 And these are what Richard Rodgers is getting? 408 00:20:24,058 --> 00:20:27,103 Larry, my mother would die if she saw this. 409 00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:29,397 -With your permission. -Permission granted. 410 00:20:31,649 --> 00:20:34,235 -That guy I told you about? -HART: Cooper? 411 00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:36,987 -It finally happened. -No! 412 00:20:37,071 --> 00:20:38,322 ELIZABETH: Yes. 413 00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:43,035 On my birthday. The night of my 20th birthday. 414 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,329 Pretty dramatic actually. You could write a play about it. 415 00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:47,415 A musical. He Has Risen. 416 00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:50,042 -ELIZABETH: Larry... [CHUCKLES] -It's an Easter musical! 417 00:20:50,126 --> 00:20:51,544 It's very religious! 418 00:20:52,962 --> 00:20:54,880 Let me clarify by saying it almost happened. 419 00:20:54,964 --> 00:20:56,173 Clarify immediately! 420 00:20:56,257 --> 00:20:58,467 -I'm gonna tell you the whole story later. -No, no, I demand 421 00:20:58,551 --> 00:21:00,720 to know the shorthand version now. 422 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:03,264 -The shorthand version? Okay. -HART: Mmm-hmm. 423 00:21:05,391 --> 00:21:07,810 The skin on his back was flawless. 424 00:21:08,352 --> 00:21:09,353 Gotta run. 425 00:21:10,521 --> 00:21:13,274 You're going to introduce me to Richard Rodgers, right? 426 00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:14,358 Before the evening is over, 427 00:21:14,442 --> 00:21:16,652 you're going to get a huge handful of Dick. 428 00:21:16,736 --> 00:21:18,571 Larry! You're so vulgar! 429 00:21:20,156 --> 00:21:22,408 [CHUCKLES] Handful of Dick, that's funny. 430 00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:23,617 -Hey... -HART: Hmm. 431 00:21:25,911 --> 00:21:28,497 I'm writing an entire musical about her. 432 00:21:28,581 --> 00:21:32,376 It's inspired by those Frank Capra war pictures Why We Fight. 433 00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:33,711 This one will be called 434 00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:36,547 Why We Fuck. 435 00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,341 And the big ballad at the end will be 436 00:21:39,425 --> 00:21:42,136 The Skin On His Back Was Flawless. 437 00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:43,054 [CHUCKLES] 438 00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:46,140 Of course, when you're 20, 439 00:21:46,223 --> 00:21:49,477 what other commodity do you have to trade in on except your body? 440 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,854 You haven't done anything, right? 441 00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:56,275 Can you imagine what Elizabeth would write if she saw my back? 442 00:21:57,568 --> 00:21:59,528 "The skin on his back 443 00:21:59,612 --> 00:22:02,948 "looked like a white bed sheet someone had thrown-up on. 444 00:22:03,032 --> 00:22:07,078 "His pecker looked like the horn of a retarded unicorn." 445 00:22:07,745 --> 00:22:08,579 [EDDIE TUTTING] 446 00:22:10,581 --> 00:22:11,749 Just one... 447 00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:15,002 to get me through congratulating him. 448 00:22:15,086 --> 00:22:16,337 Larry. 449 00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:22,718 To the skin on her back like every other part of her, 450 00:22:22,802 --> 00:22:24,387 flawless. 451 00:22:27,306 --> 00:22:28,641 Wow. 452 00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:34,188 How can so much pleasure be compressed into so small a container? 453 00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:37,483 That's it. Absolutely no more. Agreed? 454 00:22:38,484 --> 00:22:40,069 [MORTY PLAYING IT AIN'T NECESSARILY SO ON PIANO] 455 00:22:41,821 --> 00:22:43,280 [HART SCOFFS] 456 00:22:43,364 --> 00:22:45,241 God! I miss Gershwin. 457 00:22:49,286 --> 00:22:51,279 I bet I saw Porgy and Bess more 458 00:22:51,279 --> 00:22:53,916 times than any other person in this city. 459 00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:55,918 Best line in Porgy, 460 00:22:56,001 --> 00:22:59,922 "When Gawd made cripple, He mean him to be lonely." 461 00:23:02,717 --> 00:23:04,927 Did you ever think your entire life is a play... 462 00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:06,595 -HART: Hmm. -...and that, you know, 463 00:23:06,679 --> 00:23:08,180 99% of the people in it, 464 00:23:08,264 --> 00:23:09,682 they got no lines, you know? 465 00:23:09,765 --> 00:23:12,351 They're just like extras. 466 00:23:12,435 --> 00:23:17,022 And you, you're just an extra in their play. 467 00:23:17,523 --> 00:23:19,567 Deep. Very deep. 468 00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:21,527 -I got thoughts, too, you know. -Really? 469 00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:22,862 I thought you were just an extra. 470 00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:25,406 Will somebody get these fucking flowers off my bar? 471 00:23:25,948 --> 00:23:26,949 MAN: Okay! 472 00:23:27,908 --> 00:23:29,201 [EDDIE WHISTLES] 473 00:23:30,536 --> 00:23:32,371 You've got to see her as I did. 474 00:23:33,289 --> 00:23:35,916 -I just seen her. -HART: No, the first time. 475 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,668 If you can't see that, 476 00:23:37,752 --> 00:23:40,796 you can't understand what this whole night is about. 477 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,465 I'm beginning to think you didn't screw her. 478 00:23:42,548 --> 00:23:46,343 I want to practice this trick on you before I do it for her. 479 00:23:46,427 --> 00:23:48,012 And I'm not showing it to her as a trick. 480 00:23:48,095 --> 00:23:52,266 I'm showing it to her as an experiment to prove 481 00:23:52,349 --> 00:23:54,727 there's an extra-sensory link between us. 482 00:23:54,810 --> 00:23:56,437 She believes in all that horseshit, you know, 483 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,647 talking for 20 minutes about psychokinesis. 484 00:23:58,731 --> 00:24:00,441 I don't understand a fucking word she's saying. 485 00:24:00,524 --> 00:24:02,651 I'm sitting there, nodding, thinking, 486 00:24:02,735 --> 00:24:05,321 "Is she really wearing a grape-colored brassiere?" 487 00:24:05,404 --> 00:24:06,822 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 488 00:24:08,032 --> 00:24:11,077 And later, I'm going to teach you boys my own card game. 489 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,996 -Cocksucker's Rummy! -Larry, language. 490 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:15,956 Ooh, you're offended by the word "cocksucker"? 491 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,209 All right, I won't use it. I give you my word 492 00:24:18,292 --> 00:24:19,668 -as a cocksucker. -[EDDIE CHUCKLES] 493 00:24:19,752 --> 00:24:23,381 But let me tell you about the first time I saw her. 494 00:24:23,464 --> 00:24:25,091 I think I'd rather see the card trick. 495 00:24:25,174 --> 00:24:26,592 Me, too. 496 00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:29,512 You know what the sexiest thing on the planet earth is? 497 00:24:30,429 --> 00:24:32,098 A half-erect penis. 498 00:24:32,181 --> 00:24:34,016 Jesus Christ, Larry, nobody wants to hear this. 499 00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:35,184 I'm not talking to you. 500 00:24:35,267 --> 00:24:36,519 -Who you talking to? -HART: Me. 501 00:24:36,602 --> 00:24:38,646 I got to talk to somebody interesting. I mean it, though. 502 00:24:38,729 --> 00:24:41,107 A half-erect penis is a promise. 503 00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:44,235 A fully-erect penis is an exclamation point. 504 00:24:44,318 --> 00:24:47,822 As a writer, it offends me. It's too loud, it's too adolescent. 505 00:24:47,905 --> 00:24:49,323 The story's already over. 506 00:24:49,407 --> 00:24:53,994 But a half-erect penis, is it going or is it coming? 507 00:24:54,078 --> 00:24:55,413 -[BOTH CHUCKLE] -[HART SHUFFLES CARDS] 508 00:24:55,496 --> 00:24:56,622 [HART TAPS CARDS ON TABLE] 509 00:24:56,705 --> 00:25:01,293 But women appeal to me precisely for their absence of penises. 510 00:25:01,377 --> 00:25:02,378 Me, too. 511 00:25:02,962 --> 00:25:05,194 Oh, they live in a much more interesting 512 00:25:05,194 --> 00:25:06,924 emotional landscape than we do. 513 00:25:07,007 --> 00:25:09,677 A landscape we can only dream about. 514 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,680 But this evening is not about landscapes. 515 00:25:12,763 --> 00:25:15,808 It's a portrait of Elizabeth, and only Elizabeth. 516 00:25:15,891 --> 00:25:16,934 Here we fucking go again. 517 00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,728 HART: Wait, you saw that she was beautiful, right? 518 00:25:18,811 --> 00:25:22,773 I mean, if not classically beautiful, then, what's the right word... 519 00:25:25,735 --> 00:25:26,777 Nice tits. 520 00:25:27,695 --> 00:25:31,198 Small but very inviting. 521 00:25:31,282 --> 00:25:32,283 [LAUGHS] 522 00:25:32,366 --> 00:25:33,951 I wish I could paint her. 523 00:25:34,034 --> 00:25:38,164 That seems to me the most intimate way of looking at a person. 524 00:25:38,247 --> 00:25:39,749 At the same time, the least sentimental. 525 00:25:39,832 --> 00:25:42,626 To accurately reproduce the planes of her face, 526 00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:45,838 the two tiny freckles on her left cheek. 527 00:25:47,590 --> 00:25:50,593 You look familiar. I've seen your picture somewhere. 528 00:25:52,053 --> 00:25:53,054 You're a writer? 529 00:25:55,306 --> 00:25:58,059 Well, then you will appreciate this story. 530 00:25:58,142 --> 00:25:59,977 Because it concerns the... 531 00:26:00,061 --> 00:26:01,062 [HART EXHALES] 532 00:26:03,397 --> 00:26:04,398 Ineffable? 533 00:26:05,441 --> 00:26:07,318 That's the perfect word. 534 00:26:07,401 --> 00:26:10,029 Christ! You're E.B. White! You're "Andy" White! 535 00:26:10,112 --> 00:26:10,988 [SPUTTERS] 536 00:26:12,323 --> 00:26:16,202 I cannot tell you how much I enjoy your essays. 537 00:26:16,285 --> 00:26:18,662 Nothing has given me more pleasure. 538 00:26:18,746 --> 00:26:21,082 -I'm in love with your language. -Thank you. 539 00:26:21,165 --> 00:26:22,374 I'm in love with your punctuation. 540 00:26:22,458 --> 00:26:24,043 You can't move a single comma. Am I right? 541 00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:26,462 I mean, you're a musician, White. 542 00:26:26,545 --> 00:26:27,671 You're the musician. 543 00:26:27,755 --> 00:26:32,259 You know, you, above all people, will appreciate this story. 544 00:26:32,343 --> 00:26:34,637 This girl, Elizabeth. 545 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,431 I... I can't do my act for her. You know what I mean? 546 00:26:37,515 --> 00:26:40,476 She wouldn't be interested. She never asks me about me. 547 00:26:40,559 --> 00:26:43,479 Never. And it isn't so much indifference, I think, 548 00:26:43,562 --> 00:26:45,147 as much as we both recognize 549 00:26:45,231 --> 00:26:47,316 that she's legitimately more interesting than I am. 550 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,110 And I genuinely mean that. 551 00:26:49,193 --> 00:26:51,028 Did you guys see her hair? 552 00:26:51,112 --> 00:26:52,789 That's what I first noticed when 553 00:26:52,789 --> 00:26:54,782 she walked into the theater last July. 554 00:26:54,865 --> 00:26:57,910 It was as if she were breathing different air than I was. 555 00:26:58,828 --> 00:27:01,080 -I like that. -HART: I'm telling you, White, 556 00:27:01,163 --> 00:27:03,457 she would make a great musical! 557 00:27:03,541 --> 00:27:06,877 And not one goddamn corn stalk in the whole show! 558 00:27:06,961 --> 00:27:09,714 And, hey, fellas, just for the record, 559 00:27:09,797 --> 00:27:13,050 "The corn is as high as an elephant's eye" 560 00:27:13,134 --> 00:27:17,388 is the stupidest lyric in the history of American songwriting. 561 00:27:17,471 --> 00:27:19,932 Yes, it makes perfect sense, and, yes, it scans, 562 00:27:20,015 --> 00:27:23,978 but the image of an Oklahoma cornfield 563 00:27:24,061 --> 00:27:26,856 with a fucking elephant standing in the middle of it? 564 00:27:26,939 --> 00:27:29,400 -I like elephants. -Yeah, we all like elephants, Eddie. 565 00:27:29,483 --> 00:27:31,318 Look, Andy, I need you to see this. 566 00:27:31,402 --> 00:27:33,028 I'm listening to her talk, 567 00:27:33,112 --> 00:27:35,114 but I couldn't tell you a single word she said 568 00:27:35,197 --> 00:27:37,158 'cause all I'm really thinking is, 569 00:27:37,241 --> 00:27:39,827 "Wait till you feel the warmth of her glance, 570 00:27:39,910 --> 00:27:42,705 "pensive and sweet and wise." 571 00:27:42,788 --> 00:27:47,001 I was writing about her when I wrote that lyric. 572 00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:50,880 Three perfect words, in the perfect order. 573 00:27:51,547 --> 00:27:53,682 And, you tell me, what other lyricist 574 00:27:53,682 --> 00:27:55,760 could've gotten away with "pensive"? 575 00:27:55,843 --> 00:27:56,844 What song was that? 576 00:27:57,511 --> 00:27:59,638 Just telling you, when I'm good, I'm really good. 577 00:27:59,722 --> 00:28:02,183 Just the sound of it! That's what a writer does. 578 00:28:02,266 --> 00:28:07,188 We wear our vulnerability like a cloak for all the world to witness. 579 00:28:07,938 --> 00:28:09,398 I like the word "cloak." 580 00:28:09,482 --> 00:28:11,358 That's 'cause it's an antique like us. 581 00:28:12,109 --> 00:28:13,444 Can I get you another drink? 582 00:28:14,361 --> 00:28:15,946 [INHALES DEEPLY] 583 00:28:16,030 --> 00:28:17,073 Sure. Why not? 584 00:28:17,156 --> 00:28:19,366 I can think of a thousand reasons why not, 585 00:28:19,450 --> 00:28:21,619 but they can't compete with the reasons why. 586 00:28:21,702 --> 00:28:24,330 Eddie, pass the Lord and praise the house physician! 587 00:28:24,413 --> 00:28:26,749 Another round! Just a little, just... 588 00:28:28,751 --> 00:28:32,463 You know what I loved in that essay you wrote about Florida? 589 00:28:32,546 --> 00:28:33,547 That line. 590 00:28:34,256 --> 00:28:39,428 "The sea answers all questions and always the same way... 591 00:28:39,512 --> 00:28:41,847 "'So soon?'" [EXHALES] 592 00:28:41,931 --> 00:28:43,349 Jesus. 593 00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:47,228 To take a sound and transform it into what? 594 00:28:48,354 --> 00:28:50,439 A sigh of eternity. 595 00:28:51,649 --> 00:28:53,109 My diminutive gift. 596 00:28:54,235 --> 00:28:56,987 To the poetry that pours down on us 597 00:28:56,987 --> 00:28:59,740 from a thousand unexpected sources. 598 00:28:59,824 --> 00:29:01,158 To your poetry. 599 00:29:02,034 --> 00:29:02,993 HART: Hmm. 600 00:29:07,206 --> 00:29:10,126 Look, she's 20, I'm 47. 601 00:29:10,209 --> 00:29:13,087 Let's discuss this like two sensible alcoholics. [CHUCKLES] 602 00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:16,966 It was in the beginning, everything was exactly as it seemed. 603 00:29:17,049 --> 00:29:19,885 I was her mentor, and I suppose I was, you know, 604 00:29:19,969 --> 00:29:22,304 the "grand old man" of the theater in her eyes. 605 00:29:22,388 --> 00:29:25,057 I'm over at the Shubert rehearsing By Jupiter, 606 00:29:25,141 --> 00:29:27,184 the show is a holy mess. 607 00:29:27,268 --> 00:29:29,478 And I'm having this debate with Johnny Green 608 00:29:29,562 --> 00:29:31,272 about the lyrics to Give My Regards to Broadway. 609 00:29:31,355 --> 00:29:35,609 I remember, as a kid, falling in love with that song. 610 00:29:35,693 --> 00:29:38,612 [SINGING] Give my regards to old Broadway 611 00:29:38,696 --> 00:29:41,365 And say that I'll be there 'ere long 612 00:29:41,449 --> 00:29:44,326 I knew instantly, even as a kid, 613 00:29:44,410 --> 00:29:46,204 that what gave that line its speed, 614 00:29:46,204 --> 00:29:48,205 its inevitability, was the inner rhyme. 615 00:29:48,289 --> 00:29:50,958 And not just the "there, 'ere." But the other one. The "way, say." 616 00:29:51,041 --> 00:29:52,710 The line should logically be, 617 00:29:52,793 --> 00:29:55,546 "Give my regards to old Broadway and tell them that I'll be there." 618 00:29:55,629 --> 00:29:58,215 But to change the verb to "say," 619 00:29:59,633 --> 00:30:00,843 it made all the difference. 620 00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:03,179 Knuckles, do you know any Cohan? 621 00:30:03,262 --> 00:30:04,847 [MORTY PLAYS PIANO] 622 00:30:04,930 --> 00:30:08,893 [SINGING] Over there! Over there! 623 00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:12,813 Send the word, send the word Over there 624 00:30:12,897 --> 00:30:17,401 That the Yanks are coming! The Yanks are coming! 625 00:30:17,485 --> 00:30:21,363 The drum drum-drumming everywhere... 626 00:30:21,447 --> 00:30:25,409 We'll be over We're coming over! 627 00:30:25,493 --> 00:30:30,247 And we won't come back 'till it's over, over there! 628 00:30:30,331 --> 00:30:32,500 You know what the Yanks really sang in the Great War? 629 00:30:32,583 --> 00:30:35,795 "We won't come back. We'll be buried over there!" 630 00:30:37,588 --> 00:30:38,839 And they were. 631 00:30:39,507 --> 00:30:43,511 Total number of deaths in the Great War, 37 million. 632 00:30:45,054 --> 00:30:47,151 I think maybe the adjective "great" 633 00:30:47,151 --> 00:30:49,308 should never precede the word "war." 634 00:30:49,392 --> 00:30:51,227 -Amen to that. -[EDDIE SCOFFS] 635 00:30:51,310 --> 00:30:54,355 What does God think when he looks down on his creation 636 00:30:54,438 --> 00:30:56,524 and sees that under the noblest of motives, 637 00:30:56,607 --> 00:30:59,443 we sent 37 million people to their grave? 638 00:30:59,527 --> 00:31:02,196 That's why it's raining all the time. God is weeping. 639 00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:04,990 Well, I'm a patriot. I am. 640 00:31:05,074 --> 00:31:07,118 I mean, you're a soldier. God bless you. 641 00:31:07,201 --> 00:31:09,662 But how many are going to die this time around? 642 00:31:09,745 --> 00:31:11,580 Will we even be able to put a number on it? 643 00:31:12,373 --> 00:31:15,042 I'm on leave. Taking care of my mother. 644 00:31:15,126 --> 00:31:16,752 She's more terrified than I am. 645 00:31:16,836 --> 00:31:18,045 HART: When do you ship out? 646 00:31:18,129 --> 00:31:19,616 In two weeks, they're sending me 647 00:31:19,616 --> 00:31:21,382 back to that hotbed of enemy activity. 648 00:31:22,216 --> 00:31:23,551 Bradley Beach, New Jersey. 649 00:31:23,634 --> 00:31:25,469 I'm teaching Morse code at the Hotel Grossman. 650 00:31:25,553 --> 00:31:29,765 Bradley Beach, where enemy agents stroll the boardwalk 651 00:31:29,849 --> 00:31:33,102 disguised as elderly Jewish women in furs. 652 00:31:33,185 --> 00:31:34,186 I used to play hide the sausage 653 00:31:34,270 --> 00:31:36,063 -with a girl from Bradley Beach. -[CHUCKLES] 654 00:31:36,147 --> 00:31:37,148 -Oh, yeah? -[CHUCKLES] 655 00:31:37,732 --> 00:31:40,276 Did you read that piece in Life about Guadalcanal? 656 00:31:40,359 --> 00:31:42,403 -HART: Mm-mm. -How before the battle, 657 00:31:42,486 --> 00:31:44,488 the soldiers were skipping silver dollars in the water 658 00:31:44,572 --> 00:31:45,823 instead of stones 659 00:31:46,282 --> 00:31:48,534 'cause they knew they were never coming back. 660 00:31:51,704 --> 00:31:54,039 I couldn't enlist. My eyes. 661 00:31:54,123 --> 00:31:56,083 What's the matter? They open? 662 00:31:57,710 --> 00:32:00,880 Speaking of people who are not coming back, 663 00:32:00,963 --> 00:32:02,465 I would like you to read this. 664 00:32:03,090 --> 00:32:04,717 It's from the By Jupiter playbill. 665 00:32:11,390 --> 00:32:12,391 Out loud! 666 00:32:17,313 --> 00:32:18,481 Uh... [CLEARS THROAT] 667 00:32:18,564 --> 00:32:19,940 "Rodgers and Hart, 668 00:32:20,024 --> 00:32:21,942 "they're as different as a dachshund and a dromedary. 669 00:32:22,610 --> 00:32:24,349 "One likes opera and home life, the 670 00:32:24,349 --> 00:32:26,238 other goes for night clubs and people. 671 00:32:26,822 --> 00:32:28,407 "One is married and has two children, 672 00:32:28,491 --> 00:32:30,493 "the other is single and supports bartenders." 673 00:32:30,576 --> 00:32:31,994 You're welcome, Eddie. 674 00:32:33,454 --> 00:32:35,915 ANDY: "The little fella, that's Larry, smokes cigars, 675 00:32:35,998 --> 00:32:38,584 "big, black, small, brown, any kind. 676 00:32:38,667 --> 00:32:41,253 "While Dick, that's Rodgers, only uses cigarettes. 677 00:32:41,837 --> 00:32:43,685 "One goes to bed about 4:30 every 678 00:32:43,685 --> 00:32:45,758 morning, the other never dissipates." 679 00:32:45,841 --> 00:32:48,010 HART: Perfect verb, right? ANDY: Mmm. 680 00:32:48,969 --> 00:32:51,305 "Despite their physical and temperamental differences, however, 681 00:32:51,389 --> 00:32:54,016 "their intellects complement each other like ham and eggs. 682 00:32:54,850 --> 00:32:57,645 "Their individual songs number well over a thousand." 683 00:32:57,728 --> 00:32:58,729 A thousand songs? 684 00:32:59,647 --> 00:33:01,565 ANDY: "They disagree violently, but they never fight, 685 00:33:01,649 --> 00:33:04,652 "and in the 20-odd years they've been practicing their craft, 686 00:33:04,735 --> 00:33:06,821 "they have never worked with anyone but each other..." 687 00:33:06,904 --> 00:33:07,905 Until now. [CHUCKLES] 688 00:33:09,156 --> 00:33:10,324 Impressive. 689 00:33:10,866 --> 00:33:12,201 I wrote it myself. 690 00:33:12,284 --> 00:33:16,372 And not one single mention of Blue fucking Moon. 691 00:33:17,373 --> 00:33:21,502 I sent Elizabeth some of my sheet music. No response. I don't get it. 692 00:33:21,585 --> 00:33:22,586 She's a bitch. 693 00:33:22,670 --> 00:33:25,214 HART: That's what they're gonna put on my tombstone. 694 00:33:25,297 --> 00:33:28,592 -"She's a bitch"? -"Lorenz Milton Hart. 695 00:33:29,260 --> 00:33:30,302 "He didn't get it." 696 00:33:30,386 --> 00:33:32,221 And people will come to my gravesite and say, "You know what? 697 00:33:32,304 --> 00:33:34,598 -"I didn't get it either." -I definitely didn't get it. 698 00:33:34,682 --> 00:33:37,935 -Hey, Larr, I get it! -HART: So, listen. 699 00:33:38,018 --> 00:33:40,354 Elizabeth and I had a weekend. 700 00:33:40,438 --> 00:33:41,897 -We actually did. -[MORTY PLAYS PIANO] 701 00:33:41,981 --> 00:33:46,277 One passionate, transcendent weekend, end of last summer 702 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:47,945 before she went back to Yale. 703 00:33:48,446 --> 00:33:54,368 It's the closest I've ever felt in my life to pure selflessness. 704 00:33:54,452 --> 00:33:56,746 It was nuanced, it was deep. 705 00:33:56,829 --> 00:33:58,539 How deep exactly? 706 00:33:58,622 --> 00:34:01,041 Listen, clown. I met her, 707 00:34:01,125 --> 00:34:04,420 and the first thing I said to her was, "Excuse me, 708 00:34:05,004 --> 00:34:08,299 "but you have the best style of anyone in this theater." 709 00:34:08,381 --> 00:34:09,633 [GRUNTS, LAUGHS] 710 00:34:09,716 --> 00:34:11,676 I wish I had a photograph of that moment. 711 00:34:11,761 --> 00:34:15,263 I wish I had a photograph of every moment I've spent with her. 712 00:34:15,347 --> 00:34:16,265 [SUCKS TEETH] 713 00:34:16,348 --> 00:34:20,644 I'm having trouble getting this right. I'm trying to pin down... 714 00:34:21,645 --> 00:34:23,897 Oh, Andy, help me. What's the right word? 715 00:34:24,607 --> 00:34:25,608 Enchantment? 716 00:34:25,691 --> 00:34:26,942 [SNAPS FINGERS] 717 00:34:27,026 --> 00:34:28,611 And you know how hard that is. 718 00:34:29,569 --> 00:34:33,073 I couldn't believe that it was me she wanted to talk to. 719 00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:34,867 I kept looking around the theater, 720 00:34:34,950 --> 00:34:37,161 there must be somebody else she's interested in. 721 00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:38,886 But no! She's plunking herself down 722 00:34:38,886 --> 00:34:40,623 in the theater seat right next to me, 723 00:34:40,705 --> 00:34:43,876 as close as modesty will allow. 724 00:34:43,959 --> 00:34:46,962 And my heart is actually racing. 725 00:34:47,046 --> 00:34:50,383 And I don't ever feel this way, not for men or for women. 726 00:34:50,466 --> 00:34:55,303 But she's wearing this yellow sundress, 727 00:34:55,388 --> 00:34:58,057 and it is hot in the theater. 728 00:34:58,140 --> 00:35:00,101 And she's talking to me for hours. 729 00:35:00,184 --> 00:35:03,270 Bare leg draped over the armrest. 730 00:35:03,354 --> 00:35:05,815 And I know this sounds like I'm some middle-aged putz 731 00:35:05,898 --> 00:35:07,358 with a crush on a pretty co-ed, 732 00:35:07,441 --> 00:35:09,318 and maybe that's what it is. 733 00:35:09,402 --> 00:35:10,569 But you know something? 734 00:35:11,153 --> 00:35:15,658 Maybe that's not what it is. [CHUCKLES] 735 00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:18,744 Sometimes I feel... and don't laugh, 736 00:35:19,412 --> 00:35:23,916 after a lifetime of blindly colliding into strangers, 737 00:35:24,667 --> 00:35:26,252 we've finally found a friend. 738 00:35:27,628 --> 00:35:29,839 Maybe that's the definition of enchantment. 739 00:35:30,673 --> 00:35:34,051 One light-filled weekend! 740 00:35:34,135 --> 00:35:37,012 I've got to finish telling you this before she comes back. 741 00:35:37,096 --> 00:35:38,514 Are you listening to me? 742 00:35:38,597 --> 00:35:40,307 Yeah, she got her legs draped over the thing. 743 00:35:40,391 --> 00:35:43,018 It was as if all the love lyrics I had ever written 744 00:35:43,102 --> 00:35:47,273 had, like, some sort of verbal ectoplasm, suddenly taken human form. 745 00:35:47,356 --> 00:35:48,357 -Ecto what? -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] 746 00:35:48,441 --> 00:35:49,442 That might be her mother. 747 00:35:49,525 --> 00:35:50,985 She cannot hear this. 748 00:35:52,069 --> 00:35:53,195 EDDIE: What about me? 749 00:35:53,279 --> 00:35:54,822 You're just an extra. 750 00:35:54,905 --> 00:35:56,407 Okay, but I still get paid, right? 751 00:35:56,490 --> 00:35:58,159 -HART: Absolutely. -[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 752 00:35:59,201 --> 00:36:01,787 It's important to me that I nail this down. 753 00:36:02,580 --> 00:36:04,915 It was a boiling hot summer weekend, 754 00:36:04,999 --> 00:36:08,544 and I asked, with all the casualness I could counterfeit, 755 00:36:08,627 --> 00:36:12,173 if she'd like to, you know, escape the heat of the city, 756 00:36:12,256 --> 00:36:14,884 spend the weekend with me on Lake Dunmore in Vermont. 757 00:36:14,967 --> 00:36:18,637 And without a moment's hesitation she said, 758 00:36:18,721 --> 00:36:20,014 [IMITATES ELIZABETH] "I'd love to, Larry." 759 00:36:20,097 --> 00:36:21,223 [LAUGHS] 760 00:36:21,307 --> 00:36:24,185 Oh, I'm telling you, Andy, this is my type of girl. 761 00:36:24,268 --> 00:36:26,520 I'm sorry, excuse me, I'm babbling, 762 00:36:26,604 --> 00:36:31,984 but how else do you describe the actual present tense 763 00:36:32,068 --> 00:36:33,569 of falling in love? 764 00:36:34,820 --> 00:36:36,030 Is that what this is? 765 00:36:37,156 --> 00:36:40,618 Maybe. I mean, I haven't done anything wrong, okay? 766 00:36:40,701 --> 00:36:44,580 I haven't violated the Mann Act or even the Middle-Aged Man Act. 767 00:36:44,663 --> 00:36:46,540 I bought her this painting of Lake Dunmore, 768 00:36:46,624 --> 00:36:48,459 bought it off this old salt Vermonter. 769 00:36:48,542 --> 00:36:51,420 I bought it so that she might remember. 770 00:36:51,504 --> 00:36:53,464 I once did a little canoeing up around there. 771 00:36:54,173 --> 00:36:55,800 -Hey, Larry! -[CHUCKLES] 772 00:36:58,594 --> 00:36:59,678 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 773 00:36:59,762 --> 00:37:00,763 And then? 774 00:37:01,639 --> 00:37:04,517 Act Three. Later that day, 775 00:37:05,226 --> 00:37:06,936 she's in the warmth of the cabin. 776 00:37:07,019 --> 00:37:10,314 There's a pennant from Fort Ticonderoga pinned to the wall. 777 00:37:10,398 --> 00:37:14,985 She's wearing this blue men's work shirt with the sleeves rolled up. 778 00:37:15,069 --> 00:37:18,781 All of her suddenly available to me, 779 00:37:18,864 --> 00:37:22,618 this gift of youth and brain 780 00:37:22,701 --> 00:37:24,328 and clavicle. 781 00:37:24,412 --> 00:37:26,664 I touched her shoulder, 782 00:37:27,832 --> 00:37:30,459 and as some hack once scribbled, 783 00:37:30,543 --> 00:37:32,420 "My heart stood still." 784 00:37:33,462 --> 00:37:36,424 She took my hand and said, "Larry, 785 00:37:37,091 --> 00:37:39,969 "let's save this for another day." 786 00:37:41,387 --> 00:37:43,097 And all I can tell you, my friend, 787 00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:49,019 is there is a real possibility that tonight is "another day." 788 00:37:50,062 --> 00:37:52,064 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 789 00:37:53,607 --> 00:37:54,442 [PEOPLE APPLAUDING] 790 00:37:54,525 --> 00:37:57,778 WEEGEE: Clearing back a little bit. Ladies, beautiful, beautiful! 791 00:37:57,862 --> 00:37:58,863 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 792 00:37:58,946 --> 00:38:01,615 Rodgers! Rodgers! 793 00:38:02,032 --> 00:38:03,284 Yeah, beautiful! 794 00:38:04,034 --> 00:38:05,035 Okay. 795 00:38:05,828 --> 00:38:06,829 -I appreciate that. Thanks. -[INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 796 00:38:07,037 --> 00:38:08,164 Hey, thank you so much. 797 00:38:08,247 --> 00:38:09,665 I appreciate it. Thank you. 798 00:38:09,749 --> 00:38:10,750 MAN: Bravo! 799 00:38:12,585 --> 00:38:14,754 -OSCAR: Thank you so much. -[PEOPLE APPLAUDING] 800 00:38:14,837 --> 00:38:17,673 Now, time for the real performance of the evening. 801 00:38:25,347 --> 00:38:26,432 [BREATH TREMBLING] 802 00:38:26,515 --> 00:38:28,893 Eddie, Eddie. Eddie, get rid of this! 803 00:38:33,439 --> 00:38:34,690 Hey. 804 00:38:34,774 --> 00:38:36,025 So, did he fuck her or not? 805 00:38:36,108 --> 00:38:37,485 He thinks tonight might be the night. 806 00:38:37,568 --> 00:38:41,489 Oh... Larry. Larry, Larry. 807 00:38:42,156 --> 00:38:43,991 What do you think she sees in him? 808 00:38:44,533 --> 00:38:47,661 I think she sees a rich and famous guy who can help her career. 809 00:38:48,996 --> 00:38:51,373 I think she recognizes she's being adored 810 00:38:51,457 --> 00:38:54,168 by one of the great appreciators of beauty. 811 00:38:55,086 --> 00:38:57,213 -You know what else I think? -ANDY: Yeah? 812 00:38:58,130 --> 00:39:00,383 I think she is wearing a grape-colored brassiere. 813 00:39:00,466 --> 00:39:03,302 All right, Rodgers. Gentlemen, please let's get one. 814 00:39:04,178 --> 00:39:06,639 Beautiful. Come on. All right, big smile! 815 00:39:07,515 --> 00:39:09,600 -Beautiful. -Dick! Dick! 816 00:39:09,683 --> 00:39:13,354 My God! The show is going to run 20 years! 817 00:39:13,437 --> 00:39:16,148 It's going to be bigger than Abie's Irish Rose! 818 00:39:16,232 --> 00:39:18,984 -We'll see. -And much more goyish, so it can tour. 819 00:39:19,068 --> 00:39:20,820 [CHUCKLES] Well, thanks for coming, Larry. 820 00:39:20,903 --> 00:39:22,446 -Oh, Oscar! -Larry. 821 00:39:22,530 --> 00:39:25,282 You get taller every time I see you. [LAUGHS] 822 00:39:25,366 --> 00:39:28,077 What can I say? The lyrics are brilliant. 823 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:31,705 Poetic when they need to be poetic, funny when they need to be funny. 824 00:39:31,789 --> 00:39:35,126 Not a rhyme out of place, easy on the ear. 825 00:39:35,209 --> 00:39:38,254 [SINGING] I'm just a fool when lights are low 826 00:39:38,337 --> 00:39:40,965 Perfect! [CLAPS AND LAUGHS] Did you hear me applauding? 827 00:39:41,048 --> 00:39:43,092 I think you were the loudest person in the entire theater! 828 00:39:43,175 --> 00:39:45,886 That's because I loved it more than anyone else in the entire theater! 829 00:39:45,970 --> 00:39:47,888 -Let me get you boys a drink. -RODGERS: Oh, no, thank you. 830 00:39:47,972 --> 00:39:50,099 -Um... -Larry, you got two minutes? 831 00:39:50,182 --> 00:39:51,350 Give us a minute. 832 00:39:51,434 --> 00:39:52,601 Excuse us, Oscar. 833 00:39:57,815 --> 00:39:58,816 Um... 834 00:40:00,276 --> 00:40:01,527 So, uh, Dwight Wiman and I 835 00:40:01,610 --> 00:40:03,446 have been talking about bringing back A Connecticut Yankee. 836 00:40:03,529 --> 00:40:04,530 HART: Terrific! 837 00:40:04,613 --> 00:40:07,158 Yeah, I'm thinking of asking Vivienne Segal. 838 00:40:07,241 --> 00:40:10,161 Oh! Mein Gott! Oh, it's gonna run longer than Oklahoma! 839 00:40:10,244 --> 00:40:11,871 I'll buy 50 seats myself. 840 00:40:11,954 --> 00:40:14,749 I've got a new title, [IN SING-SONG VOICE] Ohh, Camelot! 841 00:40:14,832 --> 00:40:16,000 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 842 00:40:16,083 --> 00:40:17,918 Well, I think we're gonna stick with A Connecticut Yankee. 843 00:40:18,002 --> 00:40:19,712 Camelot Exclamation Point? 844 00:40:19,795 --> 00:40:21,714 [CHUCKLES] Okay, come on. I'm being serious here. 845 00:40:21,797 --> 00:40:24,216 I'm always serious. That's why people find me so funny. 846 00:40:24,300 --> 00:40:27,011 So I was thinking, if you feel up to working, then maybe... 847 00:40:27,094 --> 00:40:28,721 -I've never felt better in my life, Dick. -Congratulations, Dick. 848 00:40:28,804 --> 00:40:32,224 I don't want to bother you. I just... We all just loved it. 849 00:40:32,308 --> 00:40:33,559 -RODGERS: Oh, you did? -It's going to be a big hit. 850 00:40:33,642 --> 00:40:34,852 Oh, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate that. 851 00:40:34,935 --> 00:40:36,353 -It's Gladys, right? Yes. -Yes! Yeah. 852 00:40:36,437 --> 00:40:38,481 Yes, nice to see you. Um... 853 00:40:40,441 --> 00:40:43,861 Yeah, I was... I was thinking, um, not just a revival, 854 00:40:43,944 --> 00:40:45,154 I was thinking a whole new book. 855 00:40:45,237 --> 00:40:47,740 We were thinking four or five new numbers. 856 00:40:48,741 --> 00:40:49,784 That I write? 857 00:40:49,867 --> 00:40:51,577 Of course, that you write. That we write together. 858 00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:54,080 It's been 16 years, you know that, since we did that show? 859 00:40:54,163 --> 00:40:57,458 -It needs updating, don't you think? -[LAUGHS] 1927! The Vanderbilt! 860 00:40:57,541 --> 00:40:59,960 Yeah, it can be the new Rodgers and Hart show for the fall. 861 00:41:00,044 --> 00:41:02,129 -New gags, new songs. -New references. 862 00:41:02,213 --> 00:41:04,090 [GASPS] We'll satirize the whole war. 863 00:41:04,173 --> 00:41:06,050 Rationing, rubber drives, nylon drives, 864 00:41:06,133 --> 00:41:08,052 a new number for Vivienne. 865 00:41:08,135 --> 00:41:09,178 -Go easy with the satire, Larry. -Very nice job. 866 00:41:09,261 --> 00:41:10,304 -Hello, nice to see you. -FAN: Very nice piece. 867 00:41:10,388 --> 00:41:11,389 Appreciate it. Thank you. 868 00:41:11,472 --> 00:41:14,183 [SINGING] There came a lull then Cordell Hull sent orders from above 869 00:41:14,266 --> 00:41:17,978 I'm sorry, girls, put down your pearls 'Cause now we're rationing love 870 00:41:18,062 --> 00:41:19,480 And how do we get Cordell Hull into Camelot? 871 00:41:19,563 --> 00:41:20,564 Who cares? It's funny! 872 00:41:20,648 --> 00:41:23,442 Dick! From the New York Journal-American. 873 00:41:23,526 --> 00:41:27,655 "As enchanting to the eye as Richard Rodgers' music is to the ear." 874 00:41:27,738 --> 00:41:28,739 -Okay. -Yeah, it's nice. 875 00:41:28,823 --> 00:41:29,907 That's good. Good start. 876 00:41:29,990 --> 00:41:31,992 So, uh, are you up for that? Are you feeling healthy? 877 00:41:32,076 --> 00:41:33,661 Is that something you could take seriously? 878 00:41:33,744 --> 00:41:36,455 Yeah. I'm on the wagon, Dick. I'm serious. 879 00:41:36,539 --> 00:41:39,458 [SPUTTERS] Been drinking ginger ale all night. 880 00:41:39,542 --> 00:41:42,962 Well, except for this second 'cause this second we have to celebrate. 881 00:41:43,045 --> 00:41:46,090 This is the greatest musical in the history of American theater. 882 00:41:46,173 --> 00:41:48,384 No, no. I'm not drinking with you, Larry. 883 00:41:48,467 --> 00:41:49,969 Okay, okay, all right. 884 00:41:50,052 --> 00:41:52,012 Weegee! Weegee! Shoot this! 885 00:41:53,264 --> 00:41:55,266 -What? Oh, no. Larry, I got to... -No, no, no. Hey. 886 00:41:55,349 --> 00:41:57,435 Rodgers and Hart, together again! 887 00:41:58,060 --> 00:42:00,062 WEEGEE: All right, closer! Come on, closer! 888 00:42:03,649 --> 00:42:04,859 I want ten copies of that. 889 00:42:04,942 --> 00:42:06,694 Great. Write me a check. 890 00:42:06,777 --> 00:42:08,112 Yeah. 891 00:42:08,195 --> 00:42:09,488 So, you... you think you're up to that? 892 00:42:09,572 --> 00:42:11,615 It's the best idea I've heard in 16 years. 893 00:42:11,699 --> 00:42:13,934 At the same time, I think we should be 894 00:42:13,934 --> 00:42:16,287 dreaming about something completely new. 895 00:42:16,370 --> 00:42:17,413 Don't you agree? 896 00:42:17,496 --> 00:42:19,540 New Rodgers and Hart, something people haven't seen before. 897 00:42:19,623 --> 00:42:20,624 Something big! 898 00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:22,543 Let's start with the revival first. 899 00:42:22,626 --> 00:42:24,837 -Absolutely. -We'll take it one step at a time... 900 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:26,255 -Yeah, but... -...because I really think 901 00:42:26,338 --> 00:42:27,757 -Hear me out. -...we can have a future together. 902 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,675 Who doesn't think that? 903 00:42:30,551 --> 00:42:34,972 But I want to be one of those composers who works with, uh, you know, 904 00:42:35,056 --> 00:42:36,057 other lyricists. 905 00:42:36,140 --> 00:42:37,808 Like Arlen, Kern. You love Kern. 906 00:42:37,892 --> 00:42:39,435 I love Kern. I wanted to be Kern. 907 00:42:39,518 --> 00:42:41,187 But we have to work like professionals, Larry. 908 00:42:41,270 --> 00:42:42,730 Since when haven't I worked like a professional? 909 00:42:42,813 --> 00:42:45,649 I want to work at specific times in the morning, at my office. 910 00:42:45,733 --> 00:42:48,194 -I want to adhere to a schedule. -Yeah. That's what we do. 911 00:42:48,277 --> 00:42:49,779 I don't want to spend any more time looking for you, Larry. 912 00:42:49,862 --> 00:42:51,447 -Well, I'm right here. Small as life! -You know what I mean. 913 00:42:51,530 --> 00:42:52,948 I don't want to be calling up your mother 914 00:42:53,032 --> 00:42:54,408 at nine o'clock in the morning, so that, 915 00:42:54,492 --> 00:42:55,868 maybe, you might roll out of bed at noon. Right? 916 00:42:55,951 --> 00:42:57,787 -Dick... -I just don't want to do what we did. 917 00:42:57,870 --> 00:42:59,288 That's all I'm saying. 918 00:42:59,371 --> 00:43:00,831 It's a business, that's all. 919 00:43:01,665 --> 00:43:03,125 Maybe I shouldn't bring it up tonight, but I don't know, 920 00:43:03,209 --> 00:43:04,835 -I wanted... I wanted to... -All I want is to... 921 00:43:04,919 --> 00:43:06,504 FAN 1: That was your best one yet. 922 00:43:06,587 --> 00:43:08,130 -Really. -All right, thank you. 923 00:43:08,214 --> 00:43:09,548 -Who is that? -All I want is to write a show 924 00:43:09,632 --> 00:43:10,800 we both love. 925 00:43:13,136 --> 00:43:14,137 Yeah, I feel the same way. 926 00:43:14,221 --> 00:43:16,765 Dick! Burns Mantle just called it 927 00:43:16,848 --> 00:43:20,644 "The most thoroughly and attractively American musical comedy 928 00:43:20,727 --> 00:43:21,728 "since Show Boat." 929 00:43:21,811 --> 00:43:22,938 -Since Show Boat? -Yeah. 930 00:43:23,021 --> 00:43:24,898 Wow. That's good. 931 00:43:24,981 --> 00:43:26,900 -FAN 2: Truly spectacular. -Thank you, nice to see you. 932 00:43:27,525 --> 00:43:29,319 I have to fall in love with a show, Dick. 933 00:43:29,402 --> 00:43:31,738 I have to want to write that show more than anything in the world, 934 00:43:31,821 --> 00:43:35,617 to be in that audience, sitting there not missing a single word. 935 00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:37,410 All right, well, we start with A Connecticut Yankee, 936 00:43:37,494 --> 00:43:39,454 -four or five numbers, and we go... -Okay, look. 937 00:43:39,537 --> 00:43:42,290 Here's what I'm thinking. The Adventures of Marco Polo. 938 00:43:42,374 --> 00:43:44,501 Dick, Dick! Wonderful show. 939 00:43:44,584 --> 00:43:46,419 Oh, thank you so much. Nice to see you. 940 00:43:46,503 --> 00:43:49,005 Just... just big. Bigger than Jumbo. Epic. 941 00:43:49,089 --> 00:43:51,091 A three-ring musical circus. 942 00:43:51,174 --> 00:43:53,635 The show lasts four hours with a dinner break! 943 00:43:53,718 --> 00:43:58,515 It's grand comic opera. And the stage set is the world! 944 00:43:58,598 --> 00:44:01,059 -Uh-huh. -We satirize everybody. 945 00:44:01,142 --> 00:44:03,144 And you get to satirize them musically. 946 00:44:03,228 --> 00:44:05,647 We send up every national musical cliche there is. 947 00:44:05,730 --> 00:44:06,948 [IN FRENCH ACCENT] The France number, 948 00:44:06,948 --> 00:44:08,233 [IN ITALIAN ACCENT] the Italian number, 949 00:44:08,316 --> 00:44:10,235 [IN DEEP VOICE] when they get to the Heart of Darkness, 950 00:44:10,318 --> 00:44:13,071 the cannibals are doing Porgy and Bess. Boom, boom. 951 00:44:13,154 --> 00:44:15,615 [SINGING] Bess, you is my dinner now! 952 00:44:15,699 --> 00:44:16,700 Jesus, Larry. Come on. 953 00:44:16,783 --> 00:44:19,578 [IN NORMAL VOICE] This show is going to have the scope of a novel. 954 00:44:19,661 --> 00:44:23,123 It will be the greatest challenge you've ever had as a composer. 955 00:44:23,206 --> 00:44:27,127 And what grounds it all, what lets the audience enter this story 956 00:44:27,210 --> 00:44:28,211 is the girl. 957 00:44:28,295 --> 00:44:29,963 -Uh-huh. -This ethereal girl 958 00:44:30,046 --> 00:44:32,132 whom Marco Polo has left behind. 959 00:44:32,215 --> 00:44:34,467 She's half his age... [CHUCKLES] 960 00:44:34,551 --> 00:44:37,137 ...but it's the first time he's felt that 961 00:44:37,137 --> 00:44:39,472 inkling of love in years, maybe ever. 962 00:44:39,556 --> 00:44:41,016 He swears in the first scene. 963 00:44:41,099 --> 00:44:43,143 We set this up like Benedick in Much Ado... 964 00:44:43,226 --> 00:44:45,395 -Right. -He swears that he's beyond 965 00:44:45,478 --> 00:44:47,606 the reach of any woman. He scorns love. 966 00:44:47,689 --> 00:44:49,608 And we do a whole number satirizing love songs. 967 00:44:49,691 --> 00:44:51,620 No. Larry, I want to write shows that 968 00:44:51,620 --> 00:44:53,445 have some emotional core to them... 969 00:44:53,528 --> 00:44:55,864 -Dick, great music. Great show! -Hello, how are you? 970 00:44:55,947 --> 00:44:57,824 Thank you. I'll take that. You're a tough critic. 971 00:44:57,908 --> 00:44:58,909 -Thank you. -Thank you. 972 00:44:58,992 --> 00:45:02,120 Remember, we established in the first scene that he's anti-love? 973 00:45:02,203 --> 00:45:04,664 Then he meets the girl. She's a sort of free-spirit, 974 00:45:04,748 --> 00:45:08,460 Scandinavian-looking with two freckles on her left cheek, 975 00:45:08,543 --> 00:45:10,128 -it's absurd. [LAUGHS] -Don't do that. 976 00:45:10,212 --> 00:45:13,089 She lives socially, psychologically, sexually 977 00:45:13,173 --> 00:45:17,010 in another universe than he does, but he is slain. 978 00:45:17,802 --> 00:45:22,682 He stands there paralyzed in the light of her pale green eyes. 979 00:45:22,766 --> 00:45:26,353 This is the greatest explorer in the history of the world, 980 00:45:26,436 --> 00:45:28,627 and none of it means anything to him 981 00:45:28,627 --> 00:45:30,941 unless it's a way to make her see him. 982 00:45:31,024 --> 00:45:34,653 [CHUCKLES] That is the emotional core of the story. 983 00:45:34,736 --> 00:45:36,363 -Okay. -We take this legendary, 984 00:45:36,446 --> 00:45:37,572 larger-than-life man, 985 00:45:37,656 --> 00:45:39,199 and we make him bleed. 986 00:45:39,282 --> 00:45:41,123 Mr. Rodgers, my name is Robert 987 00:45:41,123 --> 00:45:43,578 Heffner. I'm the Mayor of Oklahoma City. 988 00:45:43,662 --> 00:45:45,538 Eve and I have traveled all the way to New York 989 00:45:45,622 --> 00:45:46,831 -just to see the show. -Okay. You know... 990 00:45:46,915 --> 00:45:49,084 Welcome to New York. We're finishing a conversation. 991 00:45:49,167 --> 00:45:51,586 He'll be with you in two minutes. Does that sound good? 992 00:45:51,670 --> 00:45:52,892 Two minutes, I'll be right with you. 993 00:45:52,892 --> 00:45:54,047 Thank you, I hope it was worth it. 994 00:45:54,130 --> 00:45:56,341 -It certainly was. -Good to see you. Thank you. 995 00:45:56,424 --> 00:45:58,009 All right, so come on. Come on, come on, come on. 996 00:45:58,093 --> 00:46:00,762 And they end up together? Come on. 997 00:46:01,763 --> 00:46:04,724 That's what the audience is waiting around to find out! 998 00:46:04,808 --> 00:46:06,518 That's the engine that's driving the whole story. 999 00:46:06,601 --> 00:46:07,936 All right, well, look, Larry, 1000 00:46:08,019 --> 00:46:09,354 if you're willing to write it, 1001 00:46:09,437 --> 00:46:11,356 really write it, and rewrite it, and rewrite it again, 1002 00:46:11,439 --> 00:46:12,732 then, you know, it could work. 1003 00:46:12,816 --> 00:46:15,277 But I'm not gonna beg you for this, Larry. You know? 1004 00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:16,403 We work for 15 minutes, 1005 00:46:16,486 --> 00:46:17,779 you're out the door looking for a cigar store. 1006 00:46:17,862 --> 00:46:18,905 -It drives me... -[LAUGHING] Okay. 1007 00:46:18,989 --> 00:46:20,407 It drives me really crazy. I don't like it. 1008 00:46:20,490 --> 00:46:22,576 -I don't want to do it anymore. -We've worked like that for 24 years. 1009 00:46:22,659 --> 00:46:23,660 Congratulations, Dick! 1010 00:46:23,743 --> 00:46:24,828 That's exactly what we've done for 24 years. 1011 00:46:24,911 --> 00:46:26,496 -Thank you. -About time the Guild had a goddamned hit. 1012 00:46:26,580 --> 00:46:28,456 Yeah. You're absolutely, absolutely right. 1013 00:46:28,540 --> 00:46:30,625 Anyway, I'm not going to... I'm not going to fight with you, Larry. 1014 00:46:30,709 --> 00:46:32,627 -Who's fighting? -I don't know. 1015 00:46:32,711 --> 00:46:33,712 With a war on, 1016 00:46:33,795 --> 00:46:36,715 do audiences really want to watch cannibals singing Porgy and Bess? 1017 00:46:36,798 --> 00:46:38,550 And what do audiences want to watch? 1018 00:46:38,633 --> 00:46:41,386 Cowboys a-whoopin'-it-up at the box social? 1019 00:46:41,469 --> 00:46:42,846 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 1020 00:46:42,929 --> 00:46:44,514 Well, yes. Apparently. 1021 00:46:44,598 --> 00:46:45,849 Oh, that's right, I forgot. 1022 00:46:45,932 --> 00:46:49,269 Oklahoma, exclamation point, addresses the urgency of a nation at war. 1023 00:46:49,352 --> 00:46:52,606 I think every serviceman in that audience tonight 1024 00:46:52,689 --> 00:46:53,940 thought about what we're fighting for, 1025 00:46:54,024 --> 00:46:55,692 even for a second or two, he thought about it. 1026 00:46:55,775 --> 00:46:57,360 And what is it we're fighting for, exactly? 1027 00:46:57,444 --> 00:47:00,447 Feisty little girls in gingham dresses who can't say no? 1028 00:47:00,530 --> 00:47:01,781 [HART LAUGHS] 1029 00:47:01,865 --> 00:47:04,200 -Okay. All right. -Dick, Dick, Dick. Come on. 1030 00:47:04,284 --> 00:47:06,411 Just between you and me, 1031 00:47:06,494 --> 00:47:09,873 those characters are unrecognizable as human beings. 1032 00:47:09,956 --> 00:47:12,208 I think plenty of people recognized them. They recognized love. 1033 00:47:12,292 --> 00:47:13,710 He needs rescuing, big time. 1034 00:47:13,793 --> 00:47:16,755 They recognized, uh, family. They recognized pride in their country. 1035 00:47:16,838 --> 00:47:18,924 You're starting to sound like Yankee Doodle Dandy. 1036 00:47:19,007 --> 00:47:21,009 I think there's significantly more there to recognize, Larry, 1037 00:47:21,092 --> 00:47:22,469 than a bunch of singing cannibals. 1038 00:47:22,552 --> 00:47:24,304 But cannibals are much funnier, admit it. 1039 00:47:24,387 --> 00:47:26,056 OSCAR: Dick, you want to come and read these! 1040 00:47:26,139 --> 00:47:26,997 -Yeah, hang on! Hang on. Be right there. 1041 00:47:26,997 --> 00:47:27,641 -HART: Okay, okay, okay, okay. 1042 00:47:27,724 --> 00:47:30,393 Okay, okay, okay, okay. I know exactly what you mean. 1043 00:47:30,477 --> 00:47:32,354 Just tell me... What do you really want to write? 1044 00:47:32,437 --> 00:47:34,189 What's your dream show? 1045 00:47:34,272 --> 00:47:35,273 -My dream show? -Yeah. 1046 00:47:35,357 --> 00:47:36,566 Oklahoma! 1047 00:47:39,986 --> 00:47:40,987 I mean, next. 1048 00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:46,660 Uh... We're talking about getting the rights to Liliom. 1049 00:47:48,078 --> 00:47:49,537 -The Molnár play? -Yeah. 1050 00:47:49,621 --> 00:47:51,331 -That was cornball in 1909. -Yeah? 1051 00:47:51,414 --> 00:47:53,541 You really want to write a musical about a carnival barker 1052 00:47:53,625 --> 00:47:55,210 who beats up his girlfriend, 1053 00:47:55,293 --> 00:47:57,045 -dies, comes back... -I think it'll work. 1054 00:47:57,128 --> 00:47:58,262 Yeah, and at the end, all the dead 1055 00:47:58,262 --> 00:47:59,631 people could take off their halos and go, 1056 00:47:59,714 --> 00:48:01,216 "Oh... Purgatory!" 1057 00:48:01,299 --> 00:48:03,552 [LAUGHS] Look, I will do it if you force me to. 1058 00:48:03,635 --> 00:48:04,970 -It's just in my heart of... -No, I'm not forcing you to. 1059 00:48:05,053 --> 00:48:06,263 Oscar's going to do it. 1060 00:48:08,515 --> 00:48:11,601 What does Oscar know about turn-of-the-century Budapest? 1061 00:48:12,435 --> 00:48:14,563 He's going to Americanize it. 1062 00:48:15,355 --> 00:48:16,773 He's going to modernize it. 1063 00:48:17,649 --> 00:48:18,817 We're going to set it in Maine. 1064 00:48:19,401 --> 00:48:22,571 Maine? Right, with all due respect, modernizing Molnár 1065 00:48:22,654 --> 00:48:24,489 -is a deeply... -You got to read this! 1066 00:48:24,573 --> 00:48:25,574 Is it the Times? 1067 00:48:26,366 --> 00:48:28,618 Burton Rascoe's World-Telegram review. 1068 00:48:28,702 --> 00:48:29,744 -It's a rave. -RODGERS: Good. 1069 00:48:29,828 --> 00:48:32,038 -We'll have the Times any moment. -Okay. 1070 00:48:32,122 --> 00:48:33,915 Larry, I've got to go. The Times is coming. 1071 00:48:33,999 --> 00:48:35,000 HART: Okay, okay. 1072 00:48:35,083 --> 00:48:37,168 -Wish me luck. -Mazel tov! 1073 00:48:37,252 --> 00:48:38,420 As they say in Maine. 1074 00:48:39,588 --> 00:48:40,672 [HART CHUCKLES] 1075 00:48:40,755 --> 00:48:42,966 WOMAN: Hey, Dick. That was perfect. RODGERS: Oh, thank you. 1076 00:48:43,049 --> 00:48:44,634 Nice to see you. Did you enjoy it? 1077 00:48:44,718 --> 00:48:46,428 [PLAYING PIANO] 1078 00:48:50,098 --> 00:48:51,766 [EXHALES] 1079 00:49:00,025 --> 00:49:01,994 What does Dick Rodgers know of Maine? 1080 00:49:01,994 --> 00:49:04,070 He was bar-mitzvahed for Christ's sake! 1081 00:49:04,154 --> 00:49:06,364 How long are they going to keep selling that fairy tale? 1082 00:49:06,448 --> 00:49:09,284 "Have faith, have hope, the dead will arise to comfort us!" 1083 00:49:09,367 --> 00:49:10,827 Like fuck they will. 1084 00:49:11,328 --> 00:49:13,496 Give me another shot, Eddie. A real one. 1085 00:49:14,623 --> 00:49:15,665 [MOUTHS] 1086 00:49:16,374 --> 00:49:18,585 Join me for a shot, Andy? Please. 1087 00:49:21,796 --> 00:49:22,797 [HART SIGHS] 1088 00:49:23,548 --> 00:49:24,883 How ya holding up? 1089 00:49:25,842 --> 00:49:29,262 HART: You know how in a marriage they say "for better or for worse"? 1090 00:49:29,346 --> 00:49:32,974 I think in terms of my life, I've entered the "for worse" part. 1091 00:49:33,058 --> 00:49:37,437 And it happened so quietly I didn't even recognize it. 1092 00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:38,730 Have you ever felt that way? 1093 00:49:39,606 --> 00:49:41,107 Every day of my life. 1094 00:49:43,401 --> 00:49:44,861 [SOFTLY] Thank you. 1095 00:49:44,945 --> 00:49:47,030 Sometimes I think, "Even God is finished with me." 1096 00:49:47,113 --> 00:49:48,615 I've had my hits, 1097 00:49:48,698 --> 00:49:51,743 I've loved a small, dear collection of people. 1098 00:49:51,826 --> 00:49:53,703 And now he's turned the page. 1099 00:49:53,787 --> 00:49:55,872 [CHUCKLES] I feel superannuated. 1100 00:49:56,706 --> 00:49:59,251 "Superannuated." That's a good thing, isn't it? 1101 00:49:59,334 --> 00:50:01,002 It means your dick doesn't work. 1102 00:50:02,754 --> 00:50:04,673 -Must be why I don't know that word. -HART: Hmm. 1103 00:50:07,968 --> 00:50:09,344 Put me on the list. 1104 00:50:10,428 --> 00:50:11,471 [CHUCKLES] 1105 00:50:20,272 --> 00:50:22,440 You notice the birds are back in Central Park? 1106 00:50:23,608 --> 00:50:26,361 Hmm. What are you working on these days? 1107 00:50:26,444 --> 00:50:27,988 Children's book. 1108 00:50:29,114 --> 00:50:31,116 Must have burned myself out writing those essays, 1109 00:50:31,199 --> 00:50:32,200 it's not going well. 1110 00:50:33,243 --> 00:50:34,744 I think, as far as my writing goes, 1111 00:50:34,828 --> 00:50:36,580 I've also entered the "for worse" part. 1112 00:50:36,663 --> 00:50:38,832 HART: [CHUCKLES] What's your story about? 1113 00:50:38,915 --> 00:50:40,250 I wish I knew. 1114 00:50:41,585 --> 00:50:43,336 The journey everybody takes? 1115 00:50:44,671 --> 00:50:48,133 Searching for what's perfect and unattainable? 1116 00:50:48,884 --> 00:50:49,926 The ineffable! 1117 00:50:50,510 --> 00:50:53,555 Probably too elusive an idea to put into a children's book. 1118 00:50:53,638 --> 00:50:55,015 I have a line for you. 1119 00:50:56,308 --> 00:50:59,978 "He chased her around the bed all night before concluding 1120 00:51:00,061 --> 00:51:01,354 "she was ineffable." 1121 00:51:01,438 --> 00:51:03,064 Sure you don't mean "uneffable"? 1122 00:51:03,607 --> 00:51:05,442 [CLICKS TONGUE] Better. 1123 00:51:06,026 --> 00:51:07,402 [HART CHUCKLES] 1124 00:51:08,236 --> 00:51:09,529 You know, I'm in the park every morning, 1125 00:51:09,613 --> 00:51:11,990 liberating this mouse I keep catching in my kitchen. 1126 00:51:12,073 --> 00:51:14,743 -Yeah? -I have this little glass box 1127 00:51:14,826 --> 00:51:17,579 that captures the mouse but doesn't kill him. 1128 00:51:17,662 --> 00:51:19,748 And every morning I walk into my kitchen, 1129 00:51:19,831 --> 00:51:21,958 and there he is, at the bottom of the refrigerator. 1130 00:51:22,042 --> 00:51:25,879 My little brown mouse, happily eating the cracker I left for him. 1131 00:51:25,962 --> 00:51:28,256 And every morning, I carry him down to the park, 1132 00:51:28,340 --> 00:51:31,760 open the box. He leaps out ten feet, scurries into the underbrush. 1133 00:51:31,843 --> 00:51:34,679 And then the next morning, I'll be damned, 1134 00:51:34,763 --> 00:51:36,848 he is back in the box! 1135 00:51:36,932 --> 00:51:38,516 How do you know it's the same mouse? 1136 00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:39,601 Well, he certainly looks the same. 1137 00:51:39,684 --> 00:51:43,980 He has that same New York look of doomed hopefulness. 1138 00:51:45,023 --> 00:51:48,151 But how does he get up the 19 floors? 1139 00:51:49,444 --> 00:51:50,820 Maybe he's tipping the doorman. 1140 00:51:50,904 --> 00:51:51,988 [HART CHUCKLES] 1141 00:51:53,573 --> 00:51:55,325 You know, this morning he wasn't there. 1142 00:51:55,992 --> 00:51:59,162 Just the cracker lying in the box. 1143 00:52:00,247 --> 00:52:02,165 I actually missed the little fella, I really did. 1144 00:52:02,249 --> 00:52:04,459 I think I've started to identify with him. 1145 00:52:04,542 --> 00:52:06,336 Does he have a name? 1146 00:52:07,337 --> 00:52:09,089 I'm calling him Stuart. 1147 00:52:09,172 --> 00:52:11,258 -[CHUCKLES] -With a "W" or a "U"? 1148 00:52:12,259 --> 00:52:16,888 Hmm. A "U." Nothing fancy. Just a regular middle-class mouse. 1149 00:52:16,972 --> 00:52:18,974 [PEOPLE CHEERING] 1150 00:52:20,725 --> 00:52:22,936 I think you'll have to excuse me. 1151 00:52:23,019 --> 00:52:26,231 All this jubilation has gone to my bladder. 1152 00:52:29,359 --> 00:52:32,112 LANGNER: "Agnes de Mille works small miracles 1153 00:52:32,195 --> 00:52:36,408 "and devising original dances that fit the story and the tunes. 1154 00:52:36,491 --> 00:52:38,577 "Oklahoma! is fresh..." 1155 00:52:38,660 --> 00:52:40,787 -Okay, I got something funny. -Hmm. 1156 00:52:40,870 --> 00:52:43,290 What do you call a tired homosexual? 1157 00:52:43,373 --> 00:52:45,292 -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] -I don't know. 1158 00:52:47,544 --> 00:52:48,753 Fuck, I forgot. 1159 00:52:49,546 --> 00:52:50,839 That's really funny. 1160 00:52:51,339 --> 00:52:52,215 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 1161 00:52:52,966 --> 00:52:56,511 LANGNER: "The play's spine-tingling, out of this world!" 1162 00:52:56,595 --> 00:52:58,430 [PEOPLE CHEERING] 1163 00:53:01,474 --> 00:53:02,475 [TOILET FLUSHING] 1164 00:53:04,477 --> 00:53:06,229 HART: You know, when Atkinson wrote that 1165 00:53:06,229 --> 00:53:07,939 review for Pal Joey, you remember that? 1166 00:53:08,607 --> 00:53:10,775 "Drab and mirthless. 1167 00:53:10,859 --> 00:53:14,362 "Can one draw sweet water from a foul well?" 1168 00:53:15,447 --> 00:53:18,700 I cried. [CHUCKLES] That's how hurt I was. 1169 00:53:18,783 --> 00:53:22,370 I cried in Vivienne Segal's arms. 1170 00:53:22,454 --> 00:53:23,872 She hugged me and said, 1171 00:53:23,955 --> 00:53:27,584 "History is going to prove him wrong, darling." 1172 00:53:27,667 --> 00:53:29,502 Wasn't that the sweetest thing in the world 1173 00:53:29,586 --> 00:53:30,754 for someone to say? 1174 00:53:32,172 --> 00:53:34,090 And she actually calls me "darling." Hmph. 1175 00:53:34,674 --> 00:53:36,051 [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Wow. 1176 00:53:36,134 --> 00:53:37,385 Time magazine wrote, 1177 00:53:37,469 --> 00:53:39,596 "For those who can park their morals in the lobby, 1178 00:53:39,679 --> 00:53:41,223 "Pal Joey is a wow." 1179 00:53:42,224 --> 00:53:44,684 What kind of piece-of-shit praise is that? 1180 00:53:46,478 --> 00:53:49,481 -[SNIFFLES] I'm talking about Pal Joey. -Right. 1181 00:53:49,564 --> 00:53:50,690 I didn't see that one. 1182 00:53:51,316 --> 00:53:54,611 Wolcott Gibbs, he loved the show. 1183 00:53:55,195 --> 00:53:57,739 He said it was, "A song and dance production 1184 00:53:57,822 --> 00:54:01,326 "with living three-dimensional figures, 1185 00:54:01,409 --> 00:54:04,913 "talking and behaving like human beings." 1186 00:54:04,996 --> 00:54:07,249 -Ah, see? There you go. -Mmm-hmm. 1187 00:54:08,458 --> 00:54:10,669 You're still going to introduce me to Rodgers tonight, right? 1188 00:54:10,752 --> 00:54:13,922 Urination for me has turned into a two-act play 1189 00:54:14,005 --> 00:54:15,298 with a brief intermission. 1190 00:54:15,382 --> 00:54:17,092 [BOTH LAUGHING] 1191 00:54:18,843 --> 00:54:23,473 Oh, I love Vivienne. God help me. [LAUGHS] 1192 00:54:24,140 --> 00:54:25,600 Her compassion. 1193 00:54:26,601 --> 00:54:28,103 Oh, did I tell you she calls me "darling"? 1194 00:54:29,020 --> 00:54:31,398 We were up at the Starlight Roof. 1195 00:54:31,481 --> 00:54:36,570 I turned to her and I said, "Vivienne, will you please marry me?" 1196 00:54:36,653 --> 00:54:39,364 That's what I told her. Right to her face. 1197 00:54:39,447 --> 00:54:43,034 Can you imagine having the courage to say that to a woman? 1198 00:54:43,827 --> 00:54:46,079 I've never had the courage to even dream of saying that. 1199 00:54:46,162 --> 00:54:47,664 Mmm-hmm. Yeah. It was a moment. 1200 00:54:47,747 --> 00:54:50,098 Let me tell you. 2:00 a.m., the band 1201 00:54:50,098 --> 00:54:52,711 was playing I've Heard That Song Before. 1202 00:54:53,420 --> 00:54:56,464 She said, "I love you, darling, 1203 00:54:57,257 --> 00:54:58,758 "just not that way." 1204 00:55:01,052 --> 00:55:03,471 "Not that way." 1205 00:55:04,097 --> 00:55:06,725 Three little words. 1206 00:55:06,808 --> 00:55:10,353 Ten little letters that mean, 1207 00:55:11,104 --> 00:55:13,940 "Game over, schmuck." [LAUGHS] 1208 00:55:14,816 --> 00:55:17,611 Ah, "Think it over," I told her. 1209 00:55:17,694 --> 00:55:21,865 I took her hand in mine, her nail polish was pale gray... 1210 00:55:21,948 --> 00:55:22,949 [DOOR CLOSES] 1211 00:55:27,662 --> 00:55:31,541 -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] -Now... I can drink. 1212 00:55:31,625 --> 00:55:34,544 [ALL CHEERING] 1213 00:55:34,628 --> 00:55:36,319 May I remind everybody what Mike 1214 00:55:36,319 --> 00:55:38,381 Todd said about Oklahoma! in New Haven, 1215 00:55:38,465 --> 00:55:41,760 -"No laughs, no tits, no chance"? -[ALL LAUGHING] 1216 00:55:41,843 --> 00:55:45,096 We have a chance now. All right, read that out. Okay, wow. 1217 00:55:45,889 --> 00:55:48,850 LANGNER: Wonderful. This is what Nichols said in the Times. 1218 00:55:48,934 --> 00:55:51,353 "Wonderful is the nearest adjective, 1219 00:55:51,436 --> 00:55:53,396 "for this excursion of the Guild 1220 00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:57,359 "combines a fresh and infectious gaiety, a charm of manner, 1221 00:55:57,442 --> 00:55:59,819 "beautiful acting, dancing and singing, 1222 00:55:59,903 --> 00:56:04,324 "and a score by Richard Rodgers which doesn't do any harm either, 1223 00:56:04,407 --> 00:56:06,868 "since it is one of his best. 1224 00:56:06,952 --> 00:56:08,954 [ALL CHEERING] 1225 00:56:12,249 --> 00:56:15,919 "Mr. Rodgers's scores never lack grace, 1226 00:56:16,002 --> 00:56:21,341 "but seldom have they been so well-integrated as this for Oklahoma! 1227 00:56:21,424 --> 00:56:27,389 "He has turned out waltzes, love songs, comic songs and a title number 1228 00:56:27,472 --> 00:56:30,850 "which the State in question would do well to adopt 1229 00:56:30,934 --> 00:56:32,561 "as its anthem forthwith. 1230 00:56:32,644 --> 00:56:34,563 [PEOPLE CHEERING] 1231 00:56:37,274 --> 00:56:41,236 "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, and People Will Say We're in Love 1232 00:56:41,319 --> 00:56:44,656 "are headed for countless jukeboxes across the land. 1233 00:56:44,739 --> 00:56:46,741 [ALL CHEERING] 1234 00:56:47,909 --> 00:56:52,747 "And a dirge called 'Pore Jud', in which the hero of the fable 1235 00:56:52,831 --> 00:56:55,917 "tries to persuade his rival to hang himself 1236 00:56:56,001 --> 00:56:58,795 -is amazingly comic. -[ALL LAUGHING] 1237 00:56:58,879 --> 00:57:03,466 "The Farmer and the Cowman and The Surrey with the Fringe on the Top 1238 00:57:03,550 --> 00:57:06,347 "also deserve mention only because 1239 00:57:06,347 --> 00:57:09,639 they quite clearly approach perfection." 1240 00:57:09,723 --> 00:57:11,099 -[ALL APPLAUDING] -Read that part again. 1241 00:57:12,809 --> 00:57:16,354 "...because they quite clearly approach perfection." 1242 00:57:16,438 --> 00:57:18,023 Put that on the marquee! 1243 00:57:18,607 --> 00:57:21,234 "Quite clearly approaches perfection." 1244 00:57:21,318 --> 00:57:23,111 [ALL CHEERING] 1245 00:57:24,446 --> 00:57:28,491 Come on, everybody! Party upstairs! Cake and champagne. 1246 00:57:28,575 --> 00:57:30,076 [ALL CHEERING] 1247 00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:31,536 [PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] 1248 00:57:31,620 --> 00:57:33,580 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1249 00:57:38,919 --> 00:57:41,379 Oh, Oscar! Bravo, bravo. 1250 00:57:41,463 --> 00:57:43,423 Congratulations. Oh... [HESITATING] 1251 00:57:48,929 --> 00:57:50,430 Can I speak with you for a moment? 1252 00:57:50,513 --> 00:57:51,514 Can we talk later, Larry? 1253 00:57:51,598 --> 00:57:54,059 No, no, no. It's just a second. I have something important to say. 1254 00:57:54,142 --> 00:57:55,977 Just a moment with the musical genius. 1255 00:57:56,061 --> 00:57:57,229 [HART CHUCKLES] 1256 00:57:58,730 --> 00:58:01,858 I just have one thing I want to tell you, Dick. 1257 00:58:01,942 --> 00:58:06,071 Uh... Just one second, Dick. It's important. 1258 00:58:06,696 --> 00:58:08,490 I remember when I first heard about you, 1259 00:58:08,573 --> 00:58:11,201 you were just Morty Rodger's little brother. 1260 00:58:11,284 --> 00:58:13,286 -What, were you 17? -16. 1261 00:58:13,370 --> 00:58:14,913 -Yeah, I was 23. -Swell job. 1262 00:58:14,996 --> 00:58:16,456 Yeah, you were the wise old man on the mountain. 1263 00:58:16,539 --> 00:58:18,667 But when I first heard you play your stuff, 1264 00:58:18,750 --> 00:58:21,545 I knew you had it. 1265 00:58:21,628 --> 00:58:23,505 I wasn't entirely convinced that I had it, 1266 00:58:23,588 --> 00:58:26,049 but I heard something that afternoon. 1267 00:58:28,093 --> 00:58:31,346 Originality, melody, grace... 1268 00:58:32,806 --> 00:58:34,432 -Oh... [BREATH TREMBLING] -[LAUGHS] 1269 00:58:34,516 --> 00:58:37,894 Come on. Come on, Larry. Stop it. Come on, what's the matter with you? 1270 00:58:37,978 --> 00:58:41,773 You worked your whole life for this night, Dick. 1271 00:58:41,856 --> 00:58:44,734 Nobody's worked harder. And nobody deserves it more. 1272 00:58:44,818 --> 00:58:46,528 All right, thanks. Thanks, Larry. Thank you. 1273 00:58:46,611 --> 00:58:49,155 All right, that's what I wanted... Just go... 1274 00:58:49,239 --> 00:58:51,032 [SNIFFLES AND LAUGHS] ...enjoy your party. 1275 00:58:51,116 --> 00:58:52,826 -Hey, look at me. Look at me. -Mmm-hmm? 1276 00:58:52,909 --> 00:58:55,161 We're going to do A Connecticut Yankee, all new. 1277 00:58:55,245 --> 00:58:57,289 -Yeah, yeah. -We're gonna write four or five new songs. 1278 00:58:57,372 --> 00:58:58,623 -I have ideas already. -Right? 1279 00:58:58,707 --> 00:59:01,251 Yeah, yeah. And if I get some pages down for Marco Polo, 1280 00:59:01,334 --> 00:59:02,335 can I send them over? 1281 00:59:03,753 --> 00:59:07,716 You have to ask me that? Larry, I owe my professional life to you. 1282 00:59:11,344 --> 00:59:14,848 [SINGING] Summer journeys to Niagara And to other places 1283 00:59:14,931 --> 00:59:17,726 Aggravate all our cares... 1284 00:59:17,809 --> 00:59:19,644 You remember we heard that on the radio for the first time? 1285 00:59:19,728 --> 00:59:22,314 In your parents' living room. Our first hit. 1286 00:59:22,397 --> 00:59:25,108 That was one of the most astonishing moments of my life, Larry. 1287 00:59:25,191 --> 00:59:29,070 -I was 22. -And I'm telling you, I swear to God, 1288 00:59:29,154 --> 00:59:31,573 our best work is still ahead of us. 1289 00:59:31,656 --> 00:59:33,658 Yes, the new Connecticut Yankee! 1290 00:59:33,742 --> 00:59:35,285 Yeah, yeah. And bigger stuff. 1291 00:59:35,368 --> 00:59:37,203 -MAN: Dick, get up here. -All right. I'm coming! 1292 00:59:37,287 --> 00:59:39,664 I mean, Marco Polo is going to be a show about joy... 1293 00:59:40,332 --> 00:59:44,085 but a hard-earned joy, an unsentimental joy. 1294 00:59:44,961 --> 00:59:47,297 -Something wrong with sentimental? -What? It's too easy. 1295 00:59:50,342 --> 00:59:52,093 -Oklahoma! is too easy? -[SPUTTERS] 1296 00:59:52,844 --> 00:59:55,222 The guy actually getting the girl at the end is too easy? 1297 00:59:55,305 --> 00:59:57,933 You've just eliminated every successful musical comedy... 1298 00:59:58,016 --> 00:59:59,142 -[CHUCKLES] -...ever written, Larry. 1299 00:59:59,226 --> 01:00:00,227 Then it's too easy for me. 1300 01:00:00,310 --> 01:00:01,645 Did you hear the audience tonight? 1301 01:00:02,270 --> 01:00:03,271 Yes. 1302 01:00:04,314 --> 01:00:06,691 Sixteen hundred people didn't think it was too easy. 1303 01:00:06,775 --> 01:00:08,526 You're telling me 1,600 people are wrong? 1304 01:00:08,610 --> 01:00:09,986 I'm just saying... 1305 01:00:11,112 --> 01:00:17,118 that you and I can do something so much more emotionally complicated. 1306 01:00:17,202 --> 01:00:19,329 We don't have to pander to what audiences... 1307 01:00:19,412 --> 01:00:21,373 -Oscar and I are pandering? -No. I didn't say that. 1308 01:00:21,456 --> 01:00:23,625 -Irving Berlin is pandering? -I love Berlin. 1309 01:00:23,708 --> 01:00:26,378 -White Christmas is pandering? -Well, I don't believe White Christmas. 1310 01:00:26,461 --> 01:00:28,463 -Okay. -[BOTH CHUCKLE] 1311 01:00:28,547 --> 01:00:30,257 Well, maybe audiences have changed. 1312 01:00:30,340 --> 01:00:32,175 Well, they still want to laugh. 1313 01:00:32,259 --> 01:00:33,969 They want to laugh, but not in that way. 1314 01:00:34,052 --> 01:00:35,554 -Not in what way? -In your way. 1315 01:00:36,638 --> 01:00:38,473 They want to laugh, but they also want to cry a little. 1316 01:00:38,557 --> 01:00:41,393 They want to... they want to feel. 1317 01:00:41,476 --> 01:00:42,435 HART: Hmm. 1318 01:00:44,688 --> 01:00:46,439 You're my oldest friend. 1319 01:00:46,523 --> 01:00:49,276 -[SIGHS WEARILY] -[HESITATING] You're... 1320 01:00:50,569 --> 01:00:52,445 -you're unique. -Hmm. 1321 01:00:52,529 --> 01:00:54,030 Sounds like you're writing my obituary. 1322 01:00:55,031 --> 01:00:57,909 -I'm just saying. -I'm right here, right now. 1323 01:00:57,993 --> 01:01:00,912 -Ready to work. -Yeah? 1324 01:01:00,996 --> 01:01:02,247 HART: Hmm. 1325 01:01:02,330 --> 01:01:04,583 And you're willing to go back to Doctors Hospital? 1326 01:01:05,709 --> 01:01:08,378 I don't need to go back to Doctors Hospital, 1327 01:01:08,461 --> 01:01:11,631 and I don't need a psychiatrist either. 1328 01:01:11,715 --> 01:01:13,675 -Thank you very much. -We were just trying to help you, Larry. 1329 01:01:13,758 --> 01:01:15,844 Who's we? You and Oscar? Help me? 1330 01:01:15,927 --> 01:01:17,345 Oscar? You think Oscar had anything to do with it? 1331 01:01:17,429 --> 01:01:20,765 Oklahoma! is going to be the biggest hit of your career. 1332 01:01:20,849 --> 01:01:23,143 -You don't know that. You don't know that. -You got that asshole Kron 1333 01:01:23,226 --> 01:01:25,103 to manage my money. Now I'm incapable... 1334 01:01:25,186 --> 01:01:26,897 I did that at the insistence of your brother, Larry. 1335 01:01:26,980 --> 01:01:27,981 Teddy literally begged me... 1336 01:01:28,064 --> 01:01:30,233 Well, maybe you and Teddy should write the lyrics. 1337 01:01:30,317 --> 01:01:31,860 I did write the lyrics. 1338 01:01:31,943 --> 01:01:32,861 [LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] 1339 01:01:32,944 --> 01:01:34,070 What is that supposed to mean? 1340 01:01:34,154 --> 01:01:36,907 By Jupiter? Have you conveniently blocked that out? 1341 01:01:36,990 --> 01:01:38,199 Blocked what out? 1342 01:01:38,283 --> 01:01:41,661 How Logan and I begged you for extra choruses, extra verses, 1343 01:01:41,745 --> 01:01:44,831 and you were so drunk that you didn't even show up. 1344 01:01:44,915 --> 01:01:46,666 So, yes, I had to write the lyrics. 1345 01:01:46,750 --> 01:01:49,544 -You didn't write one fucking word... -How would you know? 1346 01:01:49,628 --> 01:01:51,254 -...of that show. -How would you know, Larry? 1347 01:01:51,338 --> 01:01:53,048 You weren't around to even... 1348 01:01:53,131 --> 01:01:54,132 You know what? 1349 01:01:54,216 --> 01:01:56,176 I'm actually not going to argue with you tonight, 1350 01:01:56,259 --> 01:01:57,302 -if that's all right with you. -I like to argue. 1351 01:01:57,385 --> 01:01:59,137 Well I don't. I don't. 1352 01:01:59,221 --> 01:02:00,513 Look, I am sorry. 1353 01:02:01,556 --> 01:02:04,142 I don't care if somebody attacks me. 1354 01:02:04,226 --> 01:02:06,436 It doesn't mean anything to me. 1355 01:02:06,519 --> 01:02:10,315 But nobody can attack my work. It is all I've got. 1356 01:02:10,398 --> 01:02:12,317 Your work is brilliant. That's not the problem. 1357 01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:18,698 Your work has been brilliant since the day I met you. 1358 01:02:19,950 --> 01:02:21,284 Do you still remember that? 1359 01:02:22,369 --> 01:02:24,746 You, standing there in your carpet slippers and your stripy bathrobe? 1360 01:02:24,829 --> 01:02:25,747 [HART CHUCKLES] 1361 01:02:26,665 --> 01:02:30,919 Yeah, with the five o'clock shadow at 11:00 a.m. 1362 01:02:31,002 --> 01:02:33,338 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 1363 01:02:33,421 --> 01:02:36,508 I'll remember that till the last day of my life. 1364 01:02:39,344 --> 01:02:41,137 [INHALES DEEPLY] Okay. 1365 01:02:44,099 --> 01:02:45,308 [SIGHS] 1366 01:02:46,726 --> 01:02:47,727 [LAUGHS] 1367 01:02:48,311 --> 01:02:49,396 -Larry, I got to go upstairs. -I know. 1368 01:02:49,479 --> 01:02:51,565 -The whole company's waiting. -Of course. Of course. 1369 01:02:53,149 --> 01:02:54,651 Four or five songs, yes? 1370 01:02:54,734 --> 01:02:56,778 I'm telling you, I'm having ideas already! 1371 01:02:57,821 --> 01:02:59,823 A big comedy solo for Vivienne 1372 01:02:59,906 --> 01:03:03,618 about how she's killed off every single one of her previous husbands. 1373 01:03:04,995 --> 01:03:05,996 Might be funny. 1374 01:03:06,079 --> 01:03:08,873 We can call it To Keep Our Love Alive! 1375 01:03:21,970 --> 01:03:22,929 [GIGGLES] 1376 01:03:23,930 --> 01:03:25,640 -You okay, Larry? -Mmm-hmm. 1377 01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:31,646 What happened to White? 1378 01:03:31,730 --> 01:03:34,065 -Left. -"So soon?" 1379 01:03:34,608 --> 01:03:37,027 There was so much more I wanted to say to him. 1380 01:03:37,110 --> 01:03:39,029 -Maybe he was an extra, too. -[SIGHS SOFTLY] 1381 01:03:39,988 --> 01:03:41,031 One more? 1382 01:03:41,907 --> 01:03:42,991 Last one, Larry. 1383 01:03:45,076 --> 01:03:47,704 Do you know the ineffectual blues? 1384 01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:52,125 That's because I haven't written it yet. 1385 01:03:52,208 --> 01:03:53,710 [CHUCKLES] 1386 01:03:55,003 --> 01:03:58,465 [SIGHS] They should put my picture on that bottle. 1387 01:03:58,548 --> 01:04:02,594 "The Whiskey That Made Lorenz Hart Unemployable." 1388 01:04:02,677 --> 01:04:04,554 [SCOFFS] "Buy War Bonds." 1389 01:04:09,684 --> 01:04:11,102 [EXHALES] 1390 01:04:11,186 --> 01:04:13,688 You know, I've started to hear things wrong. 1391 01:04:13,772 --> 01:04:16,775 The other night, I was listening to this singer go on 1392 01:04:16,858 --> 01:04:18,443 about "her cigarette heart." 1393 01:04:18,985 --> 01:04:21,905 And I thought, "Now that is an original metaphor, 1394 01:04:21,988 --> 01:04:23,615 "'My cigarette heart.'" 1395 01:04:24,324 --> 01:04:26,785 Then I realized she was singing "My secret heart." 1396 01:04:27,577 --> 01:04:30,455 I can't remember anything anymore either. 1397 01:04:30,538 --> 01:04:32,999 That should be the title of my autobiography, 1398 01:04:33,083 --> 01:04:35,585 "Stop Me If I've Told You This Already." 1399 01:04:36,253 --> 01:04:39,130 And we'll print the entire text twice. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 1400 01:04:45,595 --> 01:04:47,931 ELIZABETH: No, I'm serious. I've seen her do it before. 1401 01:04:48,014 --> 01:04:50,850 GEORGE: As long as there's no dancing later on in the night. 1402 01:04:51,393 --> 01:04:52,477 [CHUCKLING] 1403 01:04:52,561 --> 01:04:54,145 ELIZABETH: You better watch yourself... 1404 01:04:54,229 --> 01:04:57,065 My irreplaceable Elizabeth! 1405 01:04:57,148 --> 01:04:58,149 Larry! 1406 01:04:59,109 --> 01:05:00,944 -Do you like it? -HART: It's... 1407 01:05:01,027 --> 01:05:02,988 Oscar Hammerstein just said I was a gem! 1408 01:05:03,655 --> 01:05:06,491 He has such a way with words. 1409 01:05:07,242 --> 01:05:09,160 George, this is Lorenz Hart. 1410 01:05:09,244 --> 01:05:11,538 I am legitimately honored to meet you. 1411 01:05:11,621 --> 01:05:15,083 Would you mind if I spoke to Elizabeth alone for two minutes? 1412 01:05:15,166 --> 01:05:16,835 And then she's all yours. 1413 01:05:16,918 --> 01:05:18,086 It would be perfectly all right 1414 01:05:18,169 --> 01:05:20,964 as long as you promise me your autograph before I go. 1415 01:05:21,047 --> 01:05:22,340 ELIZABETH: George is a senior at Yale. 1416 01:05:22,465 --> 01:05:24,968 He's studying music, but he wants to be a director. 1417 01:05:25,093 --> 01:05:26,511 A director. Well, what's your name? 1418 01:05:26,595 --> 01:05:27,596 George Hill. 1419 01:05:27,679 --> 01:05:31,600 Here's my advice to you, future director, George Hill. 1420 01:05:31,683 --> 01:05:32,934 Do you want my advice? 1421 01:05:33,018 --> 01:05:34,019 I'd be honored. 1422 01:05:35,103 --> 01:05:37,647 Be careful of love stories. 1423 01:05:38,398 --> 01:05:41,192 Think about friendship stories. 1424 01:05:41,276 --> 01:05:44,779 That's where the really enduring stuff lives. 1425 01:05:45,864 --> 01:05:48,033 -Thank you. I'll remember that. -HART: Hmm! 1426 01:05:51,202 --> 01:05:52,704 Catch up with you later, George. 1427 01:05:55,206 --> 01:05:56,583 My mother just gave me this. 1428 01:05:56,666 --> 01:05:58,335 I was really touched she gave it to me. 1429 01:05:59,461 --> 01:06:01,588 My well-tempered clavicle. 1430 01:06:01,671 --> 01:06:03,256 Careful. My mother... 1431 01:06:04,049 --> 01:06:05,634 [SOFTLY] Okay. All right... 1432 01:06:05,717 --> 01:06:10,013 Sorry. Now, I know your birthday isn't until November 19th. 1433 01:06:10,096 --> 01:06:11,097 I'm a scorpion. 1434 01:06:11,181 --> 01:06:13,975 I never doubted that for a second. 1435 01:06:14,059 --> 01:06:16,269 Did you get the sheet music I sent you? 1436 01:06:16,353 --> 01:06:20,440 Ah, I was so busy with exams, I put them away, honestly, and... 1437 01:06:20,523 --> 01:06:22,165 And then I kind of forgot about them. 1438 01:06:22,165 --> 01:06:23,985 But now I've got the time. I promise you. 1439 01:06:24,069 --> 01:06:25,570 I'm going to get a friend of mine 1440 01:06:25,654 --> 01:06:27,447 to play every single one of those songs for me. 1441 01:06:27,530 --> 01:06:29,241 Take your time. 1442 01:06:29,324 --> 01:06:31,701 That's the wonderful thing about art, isn't it? 1443 01:06:31,785 --> 01:06:32,911 It waits for you. 1444 01:06:33,912 --> 01:06:36,081 Thank you for all the letters you wrote me. 1445 01:06:36,164 --> 01:06:37,958 I really enjoyed reading them. 1446 01:06:38,041 --> 01:06:39,440 My roommate couldn't believe I was 1447 01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:41,086 actually corresponding with Lorenz Hart. 1448 01:06:41,169 --> 01:06:43,838 I remember in Vermont, you were drinking red wine. 1449 01:06:44,714 --> 01:06:47,759 Malbec. It's a big Yale drink. 1450 01:06:48,510 --> 01:06:52,055 You ask for the French Malbec, and then you act 1451 01:06:52,138 --> 01:06:54,307 as if you can actually tell which vineyard it came from. 1452 01:06:54,391 --> 01:06:55,976 -[BOTH CHUCKLE] -Oh... 1453 01:06:56,768 --> 01:06:59,437 Don't mention Vermont around my mother, okay? 1454 01:06:59,521 --> 01:07:01,273 She doesn't know anything about our little getaway. 1455 01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:04,359 Actually, thank goodness. 1456 01:07:04,442 --> 01:07:07,529 She doesn't know about 90% of what's going on in my life. 1457 01:07:07,612 --> 01:07:10,198 Well, I feel privileged that I do. 1458 01:07:10,282 --> 01:07:12,492 Or that I did, back in August. 1459 01:07:13,410 --> 01:07:15,912 I've got much more stuff to report on since then. [LAUGHS] 1460 01:07:15,996 --> 01:07:19,624 Well, tell me about the guys. That's what I'm interested in. 1461 01:07:19,708 --> 01:07:24,462 [CLICKS TONGUE] Honestly, I'm much smarter than most of them. 1462 01:07:24,546 --> 01:07:27,924 So I sort of sit back and watch them trying to impress me. 1463 01:07:28,008 --> 01:07:29,509 It's pretty entertaining. 1464 01:07:29,593 --> 01:07:31,928 If I were a college guy, I think I would be afraid of you. 1465 01:07:32,012 --> 01:07:35,056 This intelligent, mercilessly observant, 1466 01:07:35,140 --> 01:07:37,684 wickedly unsentimental beauty sitting there, 1467 01:07:37,767 --> 01:07:40,729 evaluating me from somewhere behind those green eyes, 1468 01:07:40,812 --> 01:07:42,439 annotating all my gaucheries. 1469 01:07:42,522 --> 01:07:44,399 My God, I would be terrified. 1470 01:07:44,482 --> 01:07:46,318 Hey, I'm not that intimidating. 1471 01:07:47,527 --> 01:07:49,946 Tell me more about this Cooper. 1472 01:07:52,240 --> 01:07:53,366 This is embarrassing. [LAUGHS] 1473 01:07:53,450 --> 01:07:54,659 I love it when you're embarrassed, 1474 01:07:54,743 --> 01:07:57,537 you get this scarlet blush that washes up over you, 1475 01:07:57,621 --> 01:07:59,748 and a second later it's gone. 1476 01:08:00,248 --> 01:08:02,417 This one might last considerably longer. 1477 01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:04,544 -I'd love to... -Elizabeth. Hello, Larry. 1478 01:08:04,628 --> 01:08:07,672 I hope I'm not interrupting anything too weighty. 1479 01:08:07,756 --> 01:08:10,133 Well, weighty affairs will have to wait. 1480 01:08:10,884 --> 01:08:12,427 She's a gem, isn't she? 1481 01:08:12,510 --> 01:08:13,887 Please, Mr. Hammerstein. 1482 01:08:13,970 --> 01:08:15,722 I'll only bother you for a moment. 1483 01:08:15,805 --> 01:08:17,848 Larry, I just wanted to say... 1484 01:08:18,558 --> 01:08:21,645 Well, firstly, I recognize this must be a difficult night for you. 1485 01:08:21,728 --> 01:08:25,147 No, I'm a professional, Oscar. We're both professionals, 1486 01:08:25,232 --> 01:08:27,192 we understand the nature of our business. 1487 01:08:27,275 --> 01:08:29,532 Larry, did you really like the show? I 1488 01:08:29,532 --> 01:08:31,612 don't think I do the comedy numbers 1489 01:08:31,696 --> 01:08:33,865 half as well as you do. They're not my strength. 1490 01:08:33,949 --> 01:08:37,869 I laughed my ass off. I had to have it re-attached. 1491 01:08:37,953 --> 01:08:39,120 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 1492 01:08:39,204 --> 01:08:41,748 Larry, we're the same age, but you were always the teacher. 1493 01:08:41,830 --> 01:08:44,125 -No, Oscar. I... -No, your whole career, 1494 01:08:44,209 --> 01:08:45,835 -you showed us the way. -Well, I doubt... 1495 01:08:45,919 --> 01:08:47,462 You liberated us all. 1496 01:08:47,545 --> 01:08:51,049 You made American songs finally sound like American speech. 1497 01:08:51,132 --> 01:08:53,759 Stop. I dislike eulogies, especially my own. 1498 01:08:53,843 --> 01:08:56,054 Oscar, tonight is your night. 1499 01:08:56,679 --> 01:09:00,350 A hit for you and Dick is a hit for all of us. 1500 01:09:00,433 --> 01:09:03,103 People finally want to go see shows again. 1501 01:09:03,186 --> 01:09:06,022 Real shows. Dick and I were just tossing around a few ideas. 1502 01:09:06,106 --> 01:09:09,651 -Wonderful. -Yeah, we have this idea for a big... 1503 01:09:10,735 --> 01:09:12,529 Marco Polo show... huge... 1504 01:09:12,612 --> 01:09:14,239 -Wow. -...a kind of musical circus. 1505 01:09:14,322 --> 01:09:16,991 Dick's excited about it. 1506 01:09:17,075 --> 01:09:18,535 He said you're adapting Liliom. 1507 01:09:18,618 --> 01:09:20,328 Well, if we can finagle the rights. 1508 01:09:20,411 --> 01:09:21,413 Sounds exciting. 1509 01:09:21,538 --> 01:09:24,331 -Elizabeth told me she's your protégé. -Stop. 1510 01:09:24,415 --> 01:09:26,691 "She's the promised kiss of springtime 1511 01:09:26,691 --> 01:09:29,087 that makes the lonely winter seem long." 1512 01:09:29,170 --> 01:09:30,170 Oh, please. 1513 01:09:30,255 --> 01:09:33,674 -You wrote a great lyric. -For a show that didn't run three months. 1514 01:09:33,758 --> 01:09:35,844 -I saw it twice. -You... 1515 01:09:35,927 --> 01:09:38,263 You know what we're talking about here, Stevie? 1516 01:09:38,346 --> 01:09:40,682 Very Warm for May. Produced by Max Gordon. 1517 01:09:40,764 --> 01:09:42,058 Music by Jerome Kern. 1518 01:09:42,142 --> 01:09:44,686 Alvin Theatre. 59 performances. 1519 01:09:44,768 --> 01:09:46,062 [BOTH LAUGH] 1520 01:09:46,146 --> 01:09:48,049 This is my neighbor. He's a kind of a 1521 01:09:48,049 --> 01:09:50,107 walking encyclopedia of musical theater. 1522 01:09:50,191 --> 01:09:52,986 Well, I'm a kind of walking pneumonia for musical theater. 1523 01:09:53,069 --> 01:09:55,030 -Nice to meet you. -Pleasure to meet you. 1524 01:09:55,113 --> 01:09:57,032 He wants to write musicals when he grows up. 1525 01:09:57,115 --> 01:09:58,617 Who's your favorite lyricist? 1526 01:09:58,700 --> 01:09:59,784 -Oscar. -HART: Mmm-hmm. 1527 01:10:00,535 --> 01:10:02,829 Of course. And what do you think of my work? 1528 01:10:02,913 --> 01:10:04,456 I like it. It's funny. 1529 01:10:04,539 --> 01:10:05,624 Thank you. 1530 01:10:05,707 --> 01:10:07,000 Can be a little sloppy at times. 1531 01:10:07,876 --> 01:10:10,295 OSCAR: He's very tired. It's been a long day. 1532 01:10:10,378 --> 01:10:13,465 Come on, Stevie. It's a long ride back to Doylestown. 1533 01:10:13,548 --> 01:10:15,634 -You want to go to the bathroom? -I'm not tired. 1534 01:10:15,717 --> 01:10:17,719 He asked me what I thought of his work. 1535 01:10:17,802 --> 01:10:20,013 "Weighty affairs will just have to wait"? 1536 01:10:20,096 --> 01:10:22,140 I so regret not having children. 1537 01:10:22,933 --> 01:10:25,268 -Cooper. -[SIGHS] 1538 01:10:25,352 --> 01:10:27,437 -I can't believe I'm telling you this. -Tell me. 1539 01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:29,856 You have to remember, I've had a hopeless crush on this guy 1540 01:10:29,940 --> 01:10:30,982 for over a year. 1541 01:10:31,066 --> 01:10:32,567 Hold this. Come here. 1542 01:10:33,735 --> 01:10:38,198 Renee, may I buy five minutes of privacy, please? 1543 01:10:39,115 --> 01:10:40,533 {\an8}Anything for you, Larry. 1544 01:10:50,585 --> 01:10:51,711 Thank you. 1545 01:10:53,922 --> 01:10:56,967 Tell me what he looks like, I'm trying to visualize him. 1546 01:10:57,884 --> 01:11:00,220 Apollo? Blue eyes. Tall. 1547 01:11:00,303 --> 01:11:02,514 So, basically, the skin on his back 1548 01:11:02,597 --> 01:11:04,140 -was flawless... -[CLICKS TONGUE] Stop. 1549 01:11:04,224 --> 01:11:08,103 It's the night of your birthday. Tell me everything. 1550 01:11:08,186 --> 01:11:11,856 -A group of my friends are taking... -Boyfriends, girlfriends? 1551 01:11:12,482 --> 01:11:13,733 -Mixed. -Okay. 1552 01:11:13,817 --> 01:11:16,111 Come on, Larry, I'm a college lady. 1553 01:11:16,194 --> 01:11:17,404 [CHUCKLES] 1554 01:11:17,487 --> 01:11:21,366 So they're taking me to Mory's, which is technically no women allowed, 1555 01:11:21,950 --> 01:11:23,720 but they smuggle us up those backstairs 1556 01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:25,537 like so much heavily-scented contraband, 1557 01:11:25,620 --> 01:11:30,959 and, of course, one of the girls has brought along her date. 1558 01:11:31,042 --> 01:11:32,043 Cooper? 1559 01:11:32,627 --> 01:11:36,256 Which is both destroying me and exhilarating me. 1560 01:11:36,339 --> 01:11:40,051 I mean, he's there. Near me. 1561 01:11:42,095 --> 01:11:43,555 The evening is getting late, 1562 01:11:43,638 --> 01:11:45,640 empty wine bottles are filling up the table. 1563 01:11:46,641 --> 01:11:48,727 Half of us are underage, 1564 01:11:48,810 --> 01:11:50,289 but we're flirting so shamelessly with 1565 01:11:50,289 --> 01:11:51,730 the waiter that nobody seems to care. 1566 01:11:51,813 --> 01:11:54,816 -Drinking your French Malbec. -Exactly. 1567 01:11:55,525 --> 01:11:57,611 I'm nothing if not a good student. 1568 01:11:58,194 --> 01:11:59,731 That's why everybody loves you, 1569 01:11:59,731 --> 01:12:01,865 Larry. You're the best listener I ever met. 1570 01:12:01,948 --> 01:12:05,410 That's because I have absolutely no interest in myself whatsoever. 1571 01:12:05,493 --> 01:12:07,746 Back to your tale of natal debauchery. 1572 01:12:07,829 --> 01:12:09,831 Empty wine bottles filling the table... 1573 01:12:11,166 --> 01:12:12,500 -So it's late. -Mmm-hmm. 1574 01:12:13,043 --> 01:12:15,962 -And Marjorie... -The girl who came with Cooper? 1575 01:12:16,838 --> 01:12:18,548 She's left to go home and study. 1576 01:12:18,632 --> 01:12:19,925 Aww... 1577 01:12:20,008 --> 01:12:22,260 People are staggering out one by one. 1578 01:12:23,094 --> 01:12:24,304 It's midnight. 1579 01:12:25,305 --> 01:12:27,849 And I find myself sitting right next to him. 1580 01:12:27,933 --> 01:12:29,309 Take your time. 1581 01:12:30,060 --> 01:12:33,688 You know, there's no place else on earth I'd rather be 1582 01:12:33,772 --> 01:12:36,316 than sitting right here with you. 1583 01:12:36,399 --> 01:12:38,652 Oh, did you get my letter? There's a party at my place tonight. 1584 01:12:38,735 --> 01:12:40,904 Oh, I think I've got to stay here and help my mother... 1585 01:12:40,987 --> 01:12:42,322 It's not getting started till late. 1586 01:12:42,405 --> 01:12:45,242 You'll have plenty of time to work the room here. 1587 01:12:45,951 --> 01:12:49,621 I've got the Golden Gate Quartet showing up. Promise me you'll come. 1588 01:12:49,704 --> 01:12:51,289 320 Central Park West. 1589 01:12:51,373 --> 01:12:54,668 You said you wanted to design sets and costumes, 1590 01:12:54,751 --> 01:12:56,962 everybody in New York theater is gonna be there. 1591 01:12:57,045 --> 01:12:58,296 Okay, back to Cooper. 1592 01:12:59,631 --> 01:13:01,633 -Okay. -[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 1593 01:13:02,342 --> 01:13:03,718 We leave Mory's together. 1594 01:13:04,636 --> 01:13:08,181 It's a perfect November night. A fingernail clipping of a moon. 1595 01:13:09,140 --> 01:13:12,602 He's got his arm around me. We're both a little drunk, 1596 01:13:12,686 --> 01:13:15,564 stumbling in and out of each other's arms. 1597 01:13:15,647 --> 01:13:17,065 He's wearing this red and green 1598 01:13:17,065 --> 01:13:18,942 flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up. 1599 01:13:19,025 --> 01:13:20,277 Not that you noticed. 1600 01:13:21,236 --> 01:13:22,445 He's looking good! 1601 01:13:22,529 --> 01:13:24,489 -And you? -Um... 1602 01:13:25,949 --> 01:13:26,992 It's my birthday, right? 1603 01:13:27,784 --> 01:13:30,287 -I'm supposed to be looking good. -Tasty. 1604 01:13:31,663 --> 01:13:34,708 So I'm leaning against that flannel work shirt, 1605 01:13:34,791 --> 01:13:36,376 and I'm telling you, 1606 01:13:37,043 --> 01:13:39,671 I can smell the maleness coming off of him. 1607 01:13:39,754 --> 01:13:40,964 [INHALES DEEPLY] 1608 01:13:41,047 --> 01:13:43,227 I remember thinking that huge purple 1609 01:13:43,227 --> 01:13:45,468 letters should have lit up the sky... 1610 01:13:46,970 --> 01:13:48,346 -"Desire." -Okay. 1611 01:13:48,430 --> 01:13:49,431 Hold on one second. 1612 01:13:49,514 --> 01:13:51,808 I have to go find some ice-water and pour it down my trousers. 1613 01:13:51,892 --> 01:13:53,560 You may need some extra ice. 1614 01:13:54,269 --> 01:13:57,105 We end up in the basement of his fraternity, 1615 01:13:57,188 --> 01:14:00,358 in this tawdry sort of derelict bar. 1616 01:14:00,442 --> 01:14:03,445 God only knows how many acts of depravity have taken place down there. 1617 01:14:03,528 --> 01:14:05,071 And here comes one more. 1618 01:14:05,155 --> 01:14:06,239 Oh, yeah. 1619 01:14:06,323 --> 01:14:08,742 -[BOTH CHUCKLE] -[ELIZABETH SIGHS] 1620 01:14:08,825 --> 01:14:11,328 So I've been watching this guy for a year, 1621 01:14:12,412 --> 01:14:16,625 dreaming about him, and now, here it is. 1622 01:14:17,500 --> 01:14:20,003 The night of my birthday, 1623 01:14:20,086 --> 01:14:22,839 the only light is coming from this dim little lamp 1624 01:14:22,923 --> 01:14:25,550 with horses and jockeys printed on the shade. 1625 01:14:26,259 --> 01:14:28,261 I mean, really, Larry, what's a girl to do? 1626 01:14:29,095 --> 01:14:30,305 Happy birthday! 1627 01:14:33,016 --> 01:14:35,018 He begins to take off his clothes. 1628 01:14:35,101 --> 01:14:36,186 [HART INHALES DEEPLY] 1629 01:14:37,938 --> 01:14:39,147 [COUGHS] 1630 01:14:41,816 --> 01:14:43,568 You really want to hear this? 1631 01:14:43,652 --> 01:14:45,695 Uh, I'm mildly interested. 1632 01:14:47,864 --> 01:14:48,949 It's humiliating. 1633 01:14:50,408 --> 01:14:51,952 'Cause basically nothing happened. 1634 01:14:53,286 --> 01:14:54,412 Nothing? 1635 01:14:56,289 --> 01:14:58,083 Like you and me at the lake house? 1636 01:14:58,166 --> 01:14:59,167 No. 1637 01:15:00,210 --> 01:15:02,212 That was a deliberate decision we made, right? 1638 01:15:02,921 --> 01:15:07,092 Based on what? Rationality? I mean, as rational as you and I ever get. 1639 01:15:08,510 --> 01:15:09,553 [LAUGHS] 1640 01:15:09,636 --> 01:15:10,804 But this... 1641 01:15:12,055 --> 01:15:13,738 [CLICKS TONGUE] This was based on the 1642 01:15:13,738 --> 01:15:15,559 fact that he couldn't get the rubber on. 1643 01:15:16,184 --> 01:15:18,061 Oh, no. 1644 01:15:18,144 --> 01:15:19,354 He tried. 1645 01:15:20,272 --> 01:15:21,731 -He tried again. -No. 1646 01:15:22,649 --> 01:15:25,360 -I tried. -Oh, stop. [CHUCKLES] 1647 01:15:25,443 --> 01:15:27,362 It was the worst 10 minutes of my life. 1648 01:15:27,445 --> 01:15:29,531 It felt like 10 hours. 1649 01:15:29,614 --> 01:15:30,615 Oh, I'm sorry. 1650 01:15:30,699 --> 01:15:33,243 And you know what the worst part was? 1651 01:15:35,662 --> 01:15:38,123 He just wasn't there, you know? 1652 01:15:39,583 --> 01:15:42,335 He kept mumbling that it was, um, the wine. 1653 01:15:42,419 --> 01:15:43,461 That, um... 1654 01:15:44,254 --> 01:15:47,716 [SIGHS] ...the rubber was too small, if you can believe that. 1655 01:15:47,799 --> 01:15:49,050 [CHUCKLES] 1656 01:15:49,134 --> 01:15:52,012 And this whole time what's clear to me 1657 01:15:52,095 --> 01:15:56,892 is that he just... hasn't sufficiently... 1658 01:15:58,518 --> 01:16:01,146 I don't know what the right word is. Maybe... 1659 01:16:03,064 --> 01:16:06,151 "he-just-doesn't-love-you-enough" is the right word. 1660 01:16:07,319 --> 01:16:10,155 I mean, there's no way around that one, is there? 1661 01:16:11,031 --> 01:16:13,950 When the girl loves the guy with all of her heart, 1662 01:16:15,035 --> 01:16:17,495 and he just doesn't return her feeling? 1663 01:16:18,705 --> 01:16:21,249 Do you have any idea what that feels like? 1664 01:16:21,333 --> 01:16:23,376 "Nobody ever loved me that much." 1665 01:16:24,669 --> 01:16:28,423 I brought into that basement a year's worth of adoration, 1666 01:16:29,466 --> 01:16:31,468 yeah, studying his photograph, 1667 01:16:32,636 --> 01:16:34,721 memorizing his phone number. 1668 01:16:34,804 --> 01:16:38,558 And there he was, this half-drunk junior 1669 01:16:39,643 --> 01:16:42,896 -who couldn't even pretend to love me... -[SIGHS] 1670 01:16:42,979 --> 01:16:46,650 And... I wouldn't have minded if there'd been... 1671 01:16:47,734 --> 01:16:49,986 some... passion underneath. 1672 01:16:50,070 --> 01:16:52,614 -[BOTH LAUGH] -Or even empathy. 1673 01:16:54,115 --> 01:16:56,868 -[EXHALES DEEPLY] -There was nothing. 1674 01:16:57,702 --> 01:17:01,456 Just... that lamp with the horses on it. 1675 01:17:02,624 --> 01:17:07,045 [WHISPERS] You deserve so much better. 1676 01:17:07,128 --> 01:17:08,171 Yeah. 1677 01:17:10,173 --> 01:17:12,050 I asked my roommate about it the next morning, 1678 01:17:12,717 --> 01:17:14,469 you know, girl to girl. 1679 01:17:15,595 --> 01:17:20,350 She said that men sometimes can't perform because they're too nervous. 1680 01:17:23,436 --> 01:17:26,398 I wish I could believe that to feel a little bit better about myself. 1681 01:17:26,481 --> 01:17:27,857 But... [CLICKS TONGUE] 1682 01:17:28,358 --> 01:17:31,236 ...he was not nervous. Not in the least. 1683 01:17:31,319 --> 01:17:32,404 He had his eyes shut. 1684 01:17:32,487 --> 01:17:35,615 As if he were trying to dream me into somebody he really wanted. 1685 01:17:35,699 --> 01:17:37,617 [SIGHS] I felt stupid. 1686 01:17:37,701 --> 01:17:39,077 I felt debased. 1687 01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:41,746 I felt furious at myself that I could allow him 1688 01:17:41,830 --> 01:17:44,708 to make me feel so worthless. [SIGHS] 1689 01:17:46,042 --> 01:17:48,253 [LAUGHING] We tried a few creative alternatives. 1690 01:17:48,336 --> 01:17:49,880 Oh, no. [LAUGHS] 1691 01:17:51,214 --> 01:17:53,800 It got uglier and uglier. 1692 01:17:54,509 --> 01:17:58,680 Finally, he said, "Elizabeth, I owe you a rain check." 1693 01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:01,975 And that... 1694 01:18:02,601 --> 01:18:04,769 That was my 20th birthday. 1695 01:18:06,146 --> 01:18:07,355 Ta-da. 1696 01:18:07,439 --> 01:18:08,523 Jesus wept. 1697 01:18:11,359 --> 01:18:12,569 But it gets worse. 1698 01:18:12,652 --> 01:18:13,778 I don't think I can take it. 1699 01:18:13,862 --> 01:18:15,196 Okay, I can take it. 1700 01:18:15,280 --> 01:18:17,442 But just tell me in a way that doesn't 1701 01:18:17,442 --> 01:18:19,492 make me ashamed to be a human being. 1702 01:18:19,576 --> 01:18:20,577 [SIGHS] 1703 01:18:21,703 --> 01:18:22,787 That's going to be difficult. 1704 01:18:24,247 --> 01:18:26,625 About a week later... [SIGHS] 1705 01:18:26,708 --> 01:18:28,585 ...everybody's leaving for Thanksgiving. 1706 01:18:29,878 --> 01:18:32,631 He gives me a call. Would I like to have dinner with him? 1707 01:18:33,423 --> 01:18:36,176 -You know me. No pride. -[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 1708 01:18:36,259 --> 01:18:40,055 I say, "Sure," and make my way over to his fraternity again, 1709 01:18:41,223 --> 01:18:43,975 which sits under this huge gingko tree. 1710 01:18:44,726 --> 01:18:46,937 The leaves have turned yellow, 1711 01:18:47,020 --> 01:18:49,689 the trunk of the tree is black from the rain. 1712 01:18:50,398 --> 01:18:53,401 I'm thinking this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 1713 01:18:54,319 --> 01:18:55,987 I remember saying to myself, 1714 01:18:56,821 --> 01:18:58,907 [WHISPERS] "God is giving you a second chance." 1715 01:18:59,866 --> 01:19:01,034 We go up to his room, 1716 01:19:01,117 --> 01:19:03,495 his roommate has already left for the holiday. 1717 01:19:04,287 --> 01:19:05,705 The door clicks shut, 1718 01:19:06,873 --> 01:19:07,874 and suddenly... 1719 01:19:09,292 --> 01:19:12,003 there's no more discussion about dinner. 1720 01:19:12,087 --> 01:19:13,964 Rain check cashed! 1721 01:19:14,047 --> 01:19:15,340 In spades. 1722 01:19:15,423 --> 01:19:17,133 I mean, it's suddenly pouring. 1723 01:19:17,217 --> 01:19:19,469 We're practically tearing each other's clothes off. 1724 01:19:19,553 --> 01:19:21,221 There is no conversation. 1725 01:19:22,097 --> 01:19:23,348 And this time... 1726 01:19:24,766 --> 01:19:26,309 there is no difficulty. 1727 01:19:27,435 --> 01:19:30,772 Not the first time. Not the second time. 1728 01:19:30,855 --> 01:19:32,357 Stop it. 1729 01:19:34,234 --> 01:19:38,238 He says to me, "Happy belated birthday, Elizabeth." 1730 01:19:38,321 --> 01:19:39,322 Mmm. 1731 01:19:40,991 --> 01:19:43,027 And you want to hear the unbelievable 1732 01:19:43,027 --> 01:19:44,953 ending to this sordid little story? 1733 01:19:46,746 --> 01:19:48,456 That was the last time I saw him. 1734 01:19:50,542 --> 01:19:53,837 That was November. Over four months ago. 1735 01:19:55,297 --> 01:19:59,509 I was absolutely sure he'd call. If only to have sex again, right? 1736 01:19:59,593 --> 01:20:01,761 No. Never. 1737 01:20:02,596 --> 01:20:04,389 I thought he'd write. 1738 01:20:04,472 --> 01:20:05,599 No. 1739 01:20:06,349 --> 01:20:07,976 So I call him, of course. [SCOFFS] 1740 01:20:08,059 --> 01:20:09,227 HART: Mmm. 1741 01:20:09,311 --> 01:20:11,146 He couldn't get off the phone fast enough. 1742 01:20:11,229 --> 01:20:12,522 [SIGHS] 1743 01:20:12,689 --> 01:20:14,107 So I wrote to him. 1744 01:20:15,692 --> 01:20:18,278 -A four-page typed letter. Single-spaced. -Oh, no. 1745 01:20:18,361 --> 01:20:19,696 No response. 1746 01:20:20,322 --> 01:20:24,367 I tell myself it was like a fever dream, you know? 1747 01:20:25,327 --> 01:20:27,537 And maybe the fever finally broke. 1748 01:20:28,663 --> 01:20:31,666 And it all sounds sane and sensible. 1749 01:20:34,085 --> 01:20:35,503 But you know something? 1750 01:20:36,963 --> 01:20:40,550 If he called me right now, right this very second, 1751 01:20:41,968 --> 01:20:44,012 I'd drop everything in my life and... 1752 01:20:45,138 --> 01:20:47,134 drive three hours, drive 30 hours 1753 01:20:47,134 --> 01:20:49,434 just to spend one more night with him. 1754 01:20:49,517 --> 01:20:51,478 What is the matter with me, Larry? 1755 01:20:51,561 --> 01:20:55,398 Why would you drive 30 hours to see someone who treated you like that? 1756 01:20:58,318 --> 01:21:00,028 Because I'm in love with him? 1757 01:21:01,196 --> 01:21:02,197 You are? 1758 01:21:03,156 --> 01:21:06,743 It's illogical. Obsessional. Pathetic. 1759 01:21:07,744 --> 01:21:09,871 And this is not the first time this has happened to me. 1760 01:21:11,164 --> 01:21:12,666 It keeps happening to me. 1761 01:21:14,459 --> 01:21:16,920 I feel like I can't see people clearly. 1762 01:21:18,213 --> 01:21:21,132 I wrote a song once, years ago, 1763 01:21:21,216 --> 01:21:23,301 called The Heart is Quicker Than the Eye. 1764 01:21:23,385 --> 01:21:25,720 It's not a great song, but it's a good title. 1765 01:21:25,804 --> 01:21:27,889 And it's true, I think. 1766 01:21:28,723 --> 01:21:34,563 The head has nothing to do with the madness of love. 1767 01:21:34,646 --> 01:21:36,690 [CHUCKLES] And... 1768 01:21:37,232 --> 01:21:40,610 It doesn't matter at all about worthiness, does it? 1769 01:21:40,694 --> 01:21:44,239 We invest our hearts in worthless stocks. 1770 01:21:44,322 --> 01:21:46,491 And we know they're worthless. 1771 01:21:46,575 --> 01:21:48,745 But we cling to them like little children 1772 01:21:48,745 --> 01:21:50,704 clutching their little stuffed bears. 1773 01:21:51,788 --> 01:21:54,833 [SIGHING] Oh, Elizabeth. 1774 01:21:56,877 --> 01:21:58,128 Tell me truthfully. 1775 01:22:00,171 --> 01:22:01,673 How do you feel about me? 1776 01:22:05,010 --> 01:22:06,094 How do you mean? 1777 01:22:07,262 --> 01:22:08,263 I mean, 1778 01:22:09,264 --> 01:22:12,517 at the lake house, with the light burning off the water, 1779 01:22:14,144 --> 01:22:16,146 we talked through half the night, 1780 01:22:17,314 --> 01:22:19,107 and I touched your shoulder... 1781 01:22:19,900 --> 01:22:22,527 Did you actually love me a little bit that night? 1782 01:22:23,820 --> 01:22:25,405 You know I love you, Larry. 1783 01:22:28,033 --> 01:22:29,242 You do? 1784 01:22:32,579 --> 01:22:35,874 Just... not that way. 1785 01:22:43,882 --> 01:22:48,053 You said you'd drive 30 hours to see Cooper. 1786 01:22:49,387 --> 01:22:51,848 How many hours would you drive to see me? 1787 01:22:52,682 --> 01:22:55,393 Oh. [LAUGHS] My hands are shaking. 1788 01:22:55,477 --> 01:22:56,937 [HART MUMBLES] 1789 01:22:57,020 --> 01:22:59,522 I feel something wiser and deeper for you. 1790 01:22:59,606 --> 01:23:01,942 -Mmm. Thank you. -Respect. 1791 01:23:02,025 --> 01:23:05,987 Gratitude for the generosity and selflessness you've shown me. 1792 01:23:06,071 --> 01:23:08,990 No one has ever been more interested in my life than you have. 1793 01:23:09,074 --> 01:23:12,661 I don't deserve a friendship like yours. I am so grateful for you. 1794 01:23:12,744 --> 01:23:14,829 I will be grateful forever. 1795 01:23:14,913 --> 01:23:17,582 I'm grateful to you, too, for resurrecting me. 1796 01:23:17,666 --> 01:23:19,209 -[KNOCK ON DOOR] -Stop. 1797 01:23:19,292 --> 01:23:20,585 RENEE: Larry! There's people out here. 1798 01:23:20,669 --> 01:23:22,128 [SPUTTERS] One second! 1799 01:23:27,133 --> 01:23:29,094 -Can I ask you something? -[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 1800 01:23:30,262 --> 01:23:32,722 Something that's probably too personal for me to ask? 1801 01:23:32,806 --> 01:23:36,184 Too personal is the only thing that I'm interested in. 1802 01:23:36,851 --> 01:23:39,688 Uh... My mother... 1803 01:23:40,397 --> 01:23:43,441 You know, she works for the Guild, she knows everybody. 1804 01:23:43,525 --> 01:23:46,319 So she saw us spending time together last summer... 1805 01:23:46,403 --> 01:23:48,280 I see where this is headed. 1806 01:23:49,531 --> 01:23:52,784 She said to me... I don't... I don't know how to say this. 1807 01:23:52,867 --> 01:23:53,868 Just say it. 1808 01:23:56,162 --> 01:23:57,163 Okay. 1809 01:23:58,623 --> 01:24:00,584 She said to me, more than once, 1810 01:24:00,667 --> 01:24:03,461 "Elizabeth, not only is he twice your age, 1811 01:24:04,546 --> 01:24:08,466 "but I don't think his primary interest is women." 1812 01:24:08,550 --> 01:24:09,676 What did you say? 1813 01:24:10,802 --> 01:24:13,263 I said, "Look, Mother, I know what I know. 1814 01:24:13,346 --> 01:24:14,890 "And I know what we're both feeling." 1815 01:24:14,973 --> 01:24:17,142 Mmm-hmm. What are we both feeling? 1816 01:24:21,438 --> 01:24:23,148 "Irrational adoration?" 1817 01:24:25,233 --> 01:24:27,679 And what may I ask does your mother 1818 01:24:27,679 --> 01:24:30,405 think she knows of my primary interest? 1819 01:24:31,573 --> 01:24:34,326 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. 1820 01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:36,328 Please forgive me. 1821 01:24:37,787 --> 01:24:42,500 To all our mothers. May they remain mercifully silent. 1822 01:24:43,752 --> 01:24:45,962 I apologize. That was stupid of me to have asked. 1823 01:24:46,046 --> 01:24:48,048 And I do know what I know, and what I feel. 1824 01:24:48,840 --> 01:24:51,009 Here's what you tell that mother of yours, 1825 01:24:51,092 --> 01:24:52,552 as she sits by the fire, 1826 01:24:52,636 --> 01:24:55,555 wistfully counting up her royalties from Oklahoma! 1827 01:24:55,639 --> 01:24:59,309 You tell her that Larry Hart is drunk with beauty. 1828 01:25:00,393 --> 01:25:02,479 And italicize the word "drunk." 1829 01:25:02,979 --> 01:25:05,690 Drunk with beauty, wherever he finds it. 1830 01:25:05,774 --> 01:25:10,320 In men, in women, in the smell of cigar stores, 1831 01:25:10,403 --> 01:25:15,200 in the impossible beauty of a 20-year-old poet 1832 01:25:15,283 --> 01:25:20,038 with pale green eyes and two tiny freckles on her left cheek. 1833 01:25:24,834 --> 01:25:25,919 Are you all right? 1834 01:25:26,962 --> 01:25:29,464 It's... [INHALES DEEPLY] 1835 01:25:29,548 --> 01:25:31,466 -...my cigarette heart. -[DOOR OPENS] 1836 01:25:31,550 --> 01:25:33,843 Larry, Dick Rodgers is looking for his coat. 1837 01:25:33,927 --> 01:25:35,095 HART: Coming. 1838 01:25:52,028 --> 01:25:53,238 Introduce me? 1839 01:25:53,321 --> 01:25:56,366 [GRUNTING] Thank you, Renee. 1840 01:25:56,449 --> 01:25:58,577 Wonderful, thank you so much. 1841 01:25:59,244 --> 01:26:03,540 Dick, I want to introduce you to my protégé, Elizabeth Weiland. 1842 01:26:04,958 --> 01:26:06,126 Your protégé? 1843 01:26:07,002 --> 01:26:08,378 -Hello. -Hello. 1844 01:26:08,461 --> 01:26:10,839 Well, you've got yourself a damn good role model there 1845 01:26:10,922 --> 01:26:13,300 if you can stay away from the bourbon. 1846 01:26:13,383 --> 01:26:18,096 Mmm. She's interested in writing and set design and costumes. 1847 01:26:18,179 --> 01:26:19,514 Okay, really? 1848 01:26:19,639 --> 01:26:21,808 Mr. Rodgers, the show tonight, 1849 01:26:22,517 --> 01:26:24,102 I thought it was magnificent. 1850 01:26:24,185 --> 01:26:25,270 Well, thank you. 1851 01:26:25,353 --> 01:26:27,522 It was as perfect a musical show as I've ever seen. 1852 01:26:27,606 --> 01:26:29,941 Well, that's a lovely compliment. 1853 01:26:30,025 --> 01:26:32,068 Your mother's with the Guild, am I right? 1854 01:26:32,152 --> 01:26:34,487 -Yes, Theresa Weiland. -Yeah, Theresa, yeah. 1855 01:26:34,571 --> 01:26:37,282 -Right, so you've seen a lot of shows. -Too many shows. 1856 01:26:37,365 --> 01:26:39,200 [ALL LAUGHING] 1857 01:26:39,284 --> 01:26:40,285 Yeah. 1858 01:26:40,368 --> 01:26:41,369 I know what you mean. 1859 01:26:41,953 --> 01:26:44,664 But tonight what I saw was what I'd always hoped a show might be. 1860 01:26:44,748 --> 01:26:47,500 Uplifting. Smart. Magical. 1861 01:26:47,626 --> 01:26:49,450 Larry, this is the most perceptive young 1862 01:26:49,450 --> 01:26:51,046 woman you've ever introduced me to. 1863 01:26:51,129 --> 01:26:52,505 [HART CHUCKLES] 1864 01:26:52,589 --> 01:26:54,090 -I've had a good teacher. -HART: Mmm-hmm. 1865 01:26:54,883 --> 01:26:56,551 So, what do you write? 1866 01:26:56,635 --> 01:26:58,470 At this point, poetry mostly. 1867 01:26:58,929 --> 01:27:00,805 It's very strong. 1868 01:27:00,889 --> 01:27:02,599 And you do set design, too? 1869 01:27:02,682 --> 01:27:04,059 -I'm studying. -RODGERS: Right. 1870 01:27:04,142 --> 01:27:08,021 Well, I'd love to... read some of your poems. 1871 01:27:08,104 --> 01:27:13,193 Uh... See your sketches. This is my... This is my private number. 1872 01:27:14,694 --> 01:27:15,779 I'm flattered. 1873 01:27:16,488 --> 01:27:19,991 I haven't seen Dorothy around. Is... Is... Is your wife here? 1874 01:27:20,075 --> 01:27:20,979 No, she's headed back to the 1875 01:27:20,979 --> 01:27:22,369 apartment. We're all going to meet up there 1876 01:27:22,452 --> 01:27:24,329 to look at the late reviews, Larry. 1877 01:27:24,412 --> 01:27:27,832 Yeah, so I'd love for you to join us, Elizabeth. 1878 01:27:27,916 --> 01:27:29,352 It would be refreshing to have someone 1879 01:27:29,352 --> 01:27:30,752 of the younger generation amongst us. 1880 01:27:30,835 --> 01:27:32,837 And maybe you can explain to me, Elizabeth, 1881 01:27:32,921 --> 01:27:35,382 why exactly the young girls scream over Sinatra. 1882 01:27:36,007 --> 01:27:37,801 I don't scream over Sinatra. 1883 01:27:37,884 --> 01:27:39,928 No, she screams under Sinatra. 1884 01:27:40,011 --> 01:27:41,721 Okay, Larry! 1885 01:27:41,805 --> 01:27:43,265 [ALL LAUGHING] 1886 01:27:43,348 --> 01:27:45,475 Larry, of course, you're welcome to come. 1887 01:27:45,559 --> 01:27:47,371 Oh, I'm going to try to make it, I'm just 1888 01:27:47,371 --> 01:27:49,229 throwing a little soirée over at my place. 1889 01:27:49,312 --> 01:27:50,689 I've got the Golden Gate Quartet coming... 1890 01:27:50,772 --> 01:27:54,568 Well, I can't compete with Larry in the soirée department. 1891 01:27:54,651 --> 01:27:56,736 -I'd love to stop over. -You would? 1892 01:27:56,820 --> 01:27:58,363 MAN: Dick, you coming? 1893 01:27:58,446 --> 01:27:59,823 Yep, yep. 1894 01:27:59,906 --> 01:28:01,116 Do you have a ride? 1895 01:28:01,199 --> 01:28:02,826 You know what, I can take her in a cab later. 1896 01:28:02,909 --> 01:28:04,536 We're going right now if you want to come with us? 1897 01:28:04,619 --> 01:28:06,246 -I'd love to. -RODGERS: Great. 1898 01:28:07,038 --> 01:28:09,416 Just let me inform my mom. 1899 01:28:09,499 --> 01:28:11,293 The dutiful daughter. 1900 01:28:11,376 --> 01:28:12,294 [RODGERS CHUCKLES] 1901 01:28:14,087 --> 01:28:17,465 RODGERS: Wow. She is... She is so lovely, right? 1902 01:28:18,633 --> 01:28:20,510 She's really striking. 1903 01:28:20,594 --> 01:28:22,888 Are you... Are you and she... 1904 01:28:22,971 --> 01:28:26,808 Oh, no, no. I mean, I'm in love with her, 1905 01:28:27,475 --> 01:28:30,395 but, uh, everybody's in love with her. 1906 01:28:31,605 --> 01:28:33,398 Just not that way. 1907 01:28:33,481 --> 01:28:34,482 Okay. 1908 01:28:38,570 --> 01:28:39,696 HART: Hmm. 1909 01:28:41,781 --> 01:28:42,782 [HART SIGHS SOFTLY] 1910 01:28:44,075 --> 01:28:45,619 So we'll see you later on tonight? 1911 01:28:45,702 --> 01:28:46,953 Absolutely. 1912 01:28:48,955 --> 01:28:50,540 [CHUCKLES] Mmm-hmm. 1913 01:28:51,541 --> 01:28:52,709 Hmm. 1914 01:28:53,919 --> 01:28:55,295 Thank you for everything. 1915 01:28:57,005 --> 01:28:58,632 Mr. Rodgers. 1916 01:28:58,715 --> 01:28:59,966 Miss Weiland. 1917 01:29:02,052 --> 01:29:03,094 Thank you. 1918 01:29:03,887 --> 01:29:05,347 And we'll see you later, Larry, right? 1919 01:29:08,975 --> 01:29:12,938 "With a song in my heart, I behold your adorable face!" 1920 01:29:25,283 --> 01:29:27,744 [INHALES DEEPLY] 1921 01:29:35,293 --> 01:29:38,630 You ever meet someone, and you know instantly 1922 01:29:38,713 --> 01:29:42,926 that both your lives are going to be irretrievably altered? 1923 01:29:43,009 --> 01:29:46,972 Just as I suspected. You are a sentimentalist. 1924 01:29:47,055 --> 01:29:48,890 [HART LAUGHS] 1925 01:29:48,974 --> 01:29:50,183 When do you get off work? 1926 01:29:50,267 --> 01:29:51,810 I got to lock this joint up. 1927 01:29:51,893 --> 01:29:54,729 Ah, what about you, Knuckles, you're done here, right? 1928 01:29:54,813 --> 01:29:56,189 Not yet. 1929 01:29:56,273 --> 01:29:59,818 Oh, 'cause I am throwing an enormous party at my place tonight. 1930 01:30:00,902 --> 01:30:02,070 [SIGHS] 1931 01:30:02,946 --> 01:30:04,781 I forgot to give her the presents. 1932 01:30:06,199 --> 01:30:07,909 [SIGHS] 1933 01:30:07,993 --> 01:30:10,161 I'm having such trouble with sleeves recently. 1934 01:30:10,245 --> 01:30:12,455 I have arthritis in this shoulder. 1935 01:30:13,415 --> 01:30:15,292 I'm going to have to start wearing a cloak. 1936 01:30:15,917 --> 01:30:19,880 I mean it. Single-handedly, I'm going to bring back the cloak. 1937 01:30:21,214 --> 01:30:22,257 [HART SIGHS] 1938 01:30:23,592 --> 01:30:24,718 [CLICKS TONGUE] 1939 01:30:24,801 --> 01:30:30,223 You're going to see me on opening nights with a top hat 1940 01:30:30,307 --> 01:30:35,186 and a cloak, flitting through the fog with a silver-tipped cane. 1941 01:30:35,979 --> 01:30:38,106 You boys are coming tonight, right? 1942 01:30:38,189 --> 01:30:41,276 She's going to be there. I'm telling you, she will. 1943 01:30:41,902 --> 01:30:43,278 She'll arrive late. 1944 01:30:43,361 --> 01:30:47,532 And get this, 'cause this is the remarkable part, 1945 01:30:47,616 --> 01:30:51,119 sometime late, maybe around 5:00 a.m., 1946 01:30:51,202 --> 01:30:53,538 after a little too much Malbec, 1947 01:30:53,622 --> 01:30:56,708 she's going to turn to me and say, 1948 01:30:56,791 --> 01:30:59,920 "Hey, Larry, what are you reading? 1949 01:31:00,003 --> 01:31:02,339 "Hey, Larry, when's your birthday?" 1950 01:31:02,422 --> 01:31:05,050 For the first time in her life, 1951 01:31:05,133 --> 01:31:09,012 she's going to be interested in me. 1952 01:31:09,846 --> 01:31:12,098 It has to happen sometime, right? 1953 01:31:12,182 --> 01:31:14,434 All the other guys have disappointed her. 1954 01:31:14,517 --> 01:31:17,562 But I never will. I'm just... 1955 01:31:18,605 --> 01:31:21,024 a little touch of Larry in the night. 1956 01:31:22,609 --> 01:31:25,153 Knuckles. Some travelin' music. 1957 01:31:25,237 --> 01:31:27,197 [PLAYING PIANO] 1958 01:31:29,616 --> 01:31:30,617 MORTY: [SINGING] Blue moon 1959 01:31:32,911 --> 01:31:36,248 You saw me standing alone 1960 01:31:36,873 --> 01:31:37,874 Wise guy. 1961 01:31:37,958 --> 01:31:41,253 Without a dream in my heart 1962 01:31:42,921 --> 01:31:45,966 Without a love of my own 1963 01:31:47,259 --> 01:31:49,397 Well, it's a helluva lot better than The 1964 01:31:49,397 --> 01:31:51,429 Surrey With the Fucking Fringe On Top. 1965 01:31:52,222 --> 01:31:55,308 Larry, you coming uptown to Dick's with us? 1966 01:31:55,475 --> 01:31:58,019 Oh, no, you go on ahead, I'll be up there later. 1967 01:31:59,062 --> 01:32:03,525 MORTY AND RENEE: [SINGING] You knew just what I was there for 1968 01:32:03,608 --> 01:32:07,404 {\an8}You heard me saying a prayer for 1969 01:32:07,487 --> 01:32:08,738 [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 1970 01:32:08,822 --> 01:32:12,075 Someone I really could care for 1971 01:32:12,158 --> 01:32:16,496 That's not bad. Triple feminine rhymes, and they all make sense. 1972 01:32:16,580 --> 01:32:19,332 MORTY: [SINGING] And then suddenly you appeared before me 1973 01:32:20,458 --> 01:32:24,045 MORTY AND RENEE: [SINGING] The only one my arms will ever hold 1974 01:32:25,130 --> 01:32:27,507 And I heard somebody whisper 1975 01:32:27,591 --> 01:32:29,718 Please adore me 1976 01:32:29,801 --> 01:32:34,806 And when I looked The moon had turned to gold 1977 01:32:34,890 --> 01:32:36,474 Blue moon 1978 01:32:43,857 --> 01:32:48,612 Larry, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 1979 01:32:49,195 --> 01:32:50,614 "Isn't it romantic?" 1980 01:32:51,489 --> 01:32:52,657 Not really, no. 1981 01:32:56,703 --> 01:33:00,040 You know, it wasn't even supposed to be called Blue Moon. 1982 01:33:00,123 --> 01:33:03,501 I called it The Bad in Every Man. 1983 01:33:03,585 --> 01:33:06,379 We wrote it for this movie, Manhattan Melodrama. 1984 01:33:06,463 --> 01:33:08,474 Jack Robbins, formerly "Rabinowitz," he 1985 01:33:08,474 --> 01:33:10,383 had his name circumcised over at MGM, 1986 01:33:10,467 --> 01:33:12,385 he hears the song, he calls us into his office, 1987 01:33:12,469 --> 01:33:14,054 he lowers his pastrami, says... 1988 01:33:14,137 --> 01:33:17,140 [IN NASAL VOICE] "Dick, I love the melody. 1989 01:33:17,224 --> 01:33:19,601 "Strong as anything you've ever written. 1990 01:33:19,684 --> 01:33:24,064 "But, Larry, those words, they're too artsy-fartsy! 1991 01:33:24,147 --> 01:33:25,736 "They're not too artsy-fartsy for 1992 01:33:25,736 --> 01:33:27,567 me. I know how brilliant you guys are. 1993 01:33:27,651 --> 01:33:30,111 "But you have to write for the schmucks in the dark. 1994 01:33:30,195 --> 01:33:31,696 "Nobody's going to sing that lyric." 1995 01:33:31,780 --> 01:33:33,448 [IN NORMAL VOICE] So I said, "What's wrong with it?" 1996 01:33:33,531 --> 01:33:36,368 He said... [IN NASAL VOICE] "I can't even remember the fucking title! 1997 01:33:36,451 --> 01:33:39,287 "Boys, give me something I can promote." 1998 01:33:39,371 --> 01:33:41,706 [IN NORMAL VOICE] So I say, "What do you want me to call it?" 1999 01:33:41,790 --> 01:33:42,791 Blue Moon? 2000 01:33:42,874 --> 01:33:45,835 Punchline, biggest hit we ever wrote. 2001 01:33:46,586 --> 01:33:48,588 [SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 2002 01:34:04,020 --> 01:34:06,022 [THIS FUNNY WORLD PLAYING] 2003 01:36:27,622 --> 01:36:29,624 [MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]