1 00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:04,072 Dewey! 2 00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:05,239 Come on out, honey! 3 00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,640 How did he find out he was going 4 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:07,741 to the doctor this morning? 5 00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:10,044 Well, I certainly didn't say anything. 6 00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:12,546 Dewey! 7 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:13,847 Son? 8 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,850 (echoes): Dewey! 9 00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,886 Dewey, come on out! 10 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,654 We love you, son! 11 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,023 Dewey, come on, we're going to be late. 12 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,960 (slow, steady breathing) 13 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:34,068 Oh... poor little thing. 14 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:35,936 Go start the car. 15 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:39,540 * Yes, no, maybe 16 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:42,076 * I don't know 17 00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:45,279 * Can you repeat the question? 18 00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,548 * You're not the boss of me now * 19 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:50,017 * You're not the boss of me now * 20 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,553 * You're not the boss of me now * 21 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,555 * And you're not so big 22 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,024 * You're not the boss of me now * 23 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,026 * You're not the boss of me now * 24 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,562 * You're not the boss of me now * 25 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:04,397 * And you're not so big 26 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:13,174 Awesome dinner, Mom. 27 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,409 Those are the best fish sticks 28 00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:16,744 I've had in my entire life. 29 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,646 Seriously, I don't know how you do it. 30 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:19,780 The microwave. 31 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,249 But for the perfect amount of time. 32 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:22,816 Well, I better clear my plate 33 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,385 and get started on my homework. 34 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,487 At first, I thought it was a brain tumor, 35 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,988 but tomorrow, he's old enough 36 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,490 to get his learner's permit. 37 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,824 He's on his best behavior 38 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,393 until after he passes the test. 39 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,895 Can I get anyone a nice cup of peppermint tea? 40 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,297 Helps digestion. 41 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,765 Mom and Dad have been looking 42 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,300 for any excuse to ground him, 43 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,834 but he hasn't screwed up once 44 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:41,902 in, like, three weeks. 45 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,904 It's actually getting kind of boring. 46 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,273 Ow! 47 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:51,679 Didn't think so. 48 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,647 Remember, Dad, you're picking me up 49 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,583 from school tomorrow to take me to the DMV. 50 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,351 I wouldn't miss it, son. 51 00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:58,919 Dear God, what are we going to do? 52 00:01:58,952 --> 00:01:59,853 What can we do? 53 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,822 He hasn't done anything wrong. 54 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:02,856 Oh, please, it's Reese. 55 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,492 We just haven't looked hard enough. 56 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,160 Hal, we're going to have to face it. 57 00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:07,595 That kid is going to be mobile. 58 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,363 Reese surrounded by 6,000 pounds of steel 59 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,665 and 20 gallons of explosive fuel. 60 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,001 It's like giving a shark a submachine gun. 61 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:14,968 (phone ringing) 62 00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,170 I'll get it. 63 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,272 Hello. 64 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,607 Hey, Dad. 65 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,808 Francis, hi, how are you? 66 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,676 We haven't heard from you in so long. 67 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:23,777 Yeah, well, 68 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,679 you know how I've always been kind of impulsive 69 00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:28,449 and independent-minded, but basically 70 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,450 just unlucky? 71 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:30,384 What? 72 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,152 Well, there's been a certain incident here, 73 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:34,322 and without getting bogged down by the blame game, 74 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,290 let's just say there have been some damages. 75 00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,558 That's why you're calling? 76 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,727 Francis, no, you can't do that anymore. 77 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,728 You're on your own. 78 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,730 You've emancipated yourself, remember? 79 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,633 You can't come running back to your parents for money 80 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,535 at the first sign of trouble anymore. 81 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,002 I'm not running to my parents. 82 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:51,239 I'm calling as one adult to another 83 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,541 for an adult... loan. 84 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,809 No. No, you've made whatever mess you've made 85 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,044 and you take care of it. 86 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,412 I have been taking care of it. 87 00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,481 I already got Big Red to cut me the lumber 88 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,516 in exchange for a pair of fur-lined boots. 89 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,352 I got my friend Pete to make the boots 90 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:05,653 but only because I promised him 91 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:06,887 a new set of teeth 92 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,189 and, as you probably know, teeth don't come cheap 93 00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,758 and that's where you... 94 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:14,662 Hey, Dave, you know that digital camera 95 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,864 that Bernie got that you like so much? 96 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,165 Yeah? 97 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,600 Well, what would you pay 98 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,068 if I could get it for you? 99 00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:23,871 You can get Bernie to give up his camera? 100 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,173 Absolutely. 101 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,676 I've been waiting for this my whole life. 102 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,878 Once I'm driving, everything changes. 103 00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:34,615 All I have to do is stay out of trouble for the next 16 hours 104 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:35,949 and I'm home free. 105 00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,184 How's that? 106 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,554 A little tighter on this side. 107 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,056 Okay, you're all set. 108 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,559 Now, remember, do not untie me until the morning, 109 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,795 no matter what I say or how much I beg. 110 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:48,562 Got it. 111 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,097 Uh-oh. I got to go to the bathroom. 112 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,098 Too bad. 113 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,132 Just testing. 114 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,467 Thanks, buddy. 115 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,970 It's weird, but Reese suddenly doesn't seem 116 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,572 as irritating as he used to. 117 00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,608 It's amazing what a driver's license 118 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:02,343 can do for a relationship. 119 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,617 Hi. 120 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,319 Dewey, I am warning you. 121 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,820 If you even touch me, 122 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,788 you can forget about me ever driving you anywhere 123 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,457 for the rest of your life. 124 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,759 I have nowhere to go. 125 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,431 (phone ringing) 126 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:24,732 Hello. 127 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,666 Hi, Lois, it's Craig. 128 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,401 Craig, I can't talk right now. 129 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:28,602 I'm on the other line. 130 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,838 It's okay, this will only take a second. 131 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,506 I have something to say to you 132 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,508 that I only feel comfortable saying 133 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,976 because we're like family. 134 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,078 Your son Malcolm is a filthy vandal. 135 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,212 What? 136 00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:41,449 He threw eggs all over the front of my new apartment-- 137 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,150 him and his little wheelchair friend. 138 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,152 They wanted some free Lucky Aide candy. 139 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,921 I said no. The next thing I know, it's like D-Day here. 140 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,358 Malcolm! Get in here! 141 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,159 You'd think I'd be the last person he'd target 142 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,528 after I forgave your family for burning my old place down, 143 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:57,765 which, I'd like to remind you again, I hardly ever mention. 144 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,833 Craig, I am so sorry. 145 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,435 Well, boys will be boys. 146 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,604 All I want is for him to come over and clean it up, 147 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,707 and if he could stop and get me a nonfat latte along the way 148 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,041 that would be great. 149 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,810 Don't worry, he's on his way. 150 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,111 What is the matter with you?! 151 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,381 Throwing eggs at Craig's front door? 152 00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:14,982 What are you talking about? 153 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,149 I did it. I did it. 154 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,551 You passed the test? 155 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:18,652 I aced it. 156 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,153 You got five wrong. 157 00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,823 Yeah, but I got 11 right, and that's good enough 158 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,057 for my learner's permit. 159 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,693 Man, if the DMV was running my school, 160 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:26,894 I'd be, like, a "C" student. 161 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,129 Well, congratulations. 162 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,298 Dad, you sent that check to the driving school, right? 163 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,232 Yes, Reese. 164 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:33,300 You're sure you signed it. 165 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,635 It's not going to bounce or anything? 166 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,003 Everything is fine, Reese. 167 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,672 Just go there straight after school tomorrow. 168 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,207 You guys are the best. 169 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,543 I promise when you're old and crazy, 170 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,144 I'll drive to the home and visit you. 171 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,746 Maybe we could go for a drive around the park. 172 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,214 Would you like that? 173 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:48,849 I can't wait. 174 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,352 Why are you still here? 175 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:53,521 Get over to Craig's. 176 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:54,555 Start cleaning. 177 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:55,656 Mom, I didn't throw anything 178 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,990 at his front door, I swear. 179 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,659 Malcolm, why would a grown man lie 180 00:05:58,692 --> 00:05:59,893 about something like that? 181 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,895 I lied because I needed your help. 182 00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:04,832 I finally got my insurance settlement. 183 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,836 This receiver works in both SRS 5.1 and DTS. 184 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:12,172 Unidirectional subwoofer for surround sound. 185 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,508 Progressive-scan DVD player. 186 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:18,946 Plays both AIFF and MP3 formats on either CDs or CD-Rs. 187 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,681 I figured you'd be comfortable 188 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,349 with this level of electronics. 189 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,884 I mean, the guys at the store 190 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,553 couldn't find their graphic equalizers 191 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,954 with two hands and a flashlight. 192 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,022 You dragged me over here to hook up your stereo? 193 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,191 Can't you get one of your friends to help you do this? 194 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,461 (purring) 195 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,964 And tick off the other friends I didn't ask? 196 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:40,534 Malcolm, this goes far beyond just a stereo. 197 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:41,969 This is going to be 198 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:45,138 the greatest entertainment center ever. 199 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,608 Have you ever wanted to be the best at something? 200 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:50,878 Not just good, I don't mean great, 201 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,113 I mean the absolute best? 202 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,381 I don't know. 203 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,583 Well, I have. 204 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,218 Ever since I was a kid watching Land of the Lost 205 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,121 on my tiny black-and-white six-inch, 206 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,723 I knew there'd be a day... 207 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,059 a day when I could create my own high-def universe... 208 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:09,329 a magical realm where fantasy and technology 209 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,398 intersect at my every whim 210 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,100 because I am the king. 211 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,568 So your lifelong dream 212 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:17,437 was to become the world's best TV watcher? 213 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,772 Yeah. 214 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,041 I'm in. 215 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,079 I still can't believe it. 216 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,781 For the first time ever, I'm going to be... 217 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,150 behind the wheel. 218 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,185 He keeps doing that. 219 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,287 Mom, I have to go to Craig's today after school. 220 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,623 You still have more to clean up? 221 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,025 Yeah, I made a hell of a mess. 222 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,593 Hey, Dewey, I want you to know 223 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:40,761 there's no hard feelings 224 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,863 about the last couple of weeks. 225 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,633 Because you're going to suffer every day 226 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:48,569 for the next ten years. 227 00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,342 Yep, brand-new. 228 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,044 College boy got 'em for me. 229 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,312 Warm, are they? Oh, yeah. 230 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,519 Oh, this is awesome. 231 00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:07,054 Willie's grandson is really going to love this. 232 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,156 Just remember, you got to get that sled team 233 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,058 out to Camp Three for me before dark. 234 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,192 Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. 235 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,393 You've driven dogs before, right? 236 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,562 Because it gets pretty tricky. 237 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,129 What do I look like? 238 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,197 Stop worrying. 239 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:20,033 Hey, Neil, you know how to drive a dog team, right? 240 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,002 Yeah. 241 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,470 Do you still have a crush on Joe's sister? 242 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,006 Yeah, but Joe won't let me date her 243 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:29,877 just 'cause I'm Irish and I got a bounty on my head. 244 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,979 Let me see what I can do. 245 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,582 (tires screeching) 246 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,054 Sorry. 247 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,791 Sorry. 248 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,063 (tires screech) 249 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,264 Sorry. 250 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,266 Ooh, sorry. 251 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,702 I'm sorry. 252 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:57,738 Ooh, sorry. 253 00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:58,706 Damn it. 254 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,408 I thought I paid this gas bill already. 255 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,542 You're doing great. 256 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:03,476 Turn right up here. 257 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,945 I think you're ready for street driving. 258 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,514 What?! Jackie's been driving for half an hour. 259 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,515 Her turn is over. 260 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,250 It's only been ten minutes, Reese. 261 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,019 No, it hasn't-- I've been timing you. 262 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,921 You've been driving exactly 27 minutes. 263 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,789 You're going to start using up my turn. 264 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,557 When did you learn how to tell time? 265 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,092 Faced. It's digital. 266 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,261 I can't believe I have to be in the same car 267 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,362 as a low-life like you. 268 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,764 Oh, I'm a low-life? 269 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,398 You're the one that spends ever day at lunch 270 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,935 sucking on a straw that's been under my armpit. 271 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,069 You pig! 272 00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,871 That's it. I've had it. 273 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,306 I don't even know what text-messaging is. 274 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,744 How can they charge me 15 bucks a month for it? 275 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,980 Malcolm. 276 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,548 You can't connect those cables. 277 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,483 Their impedance values aren't equal. 278 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,485 You'll get a reflected transmission. 279 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,788 That's what the high-speed scan modulation is for. 280 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,156 Trust me, 480p is 281 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,991 more than enough to take care of it. 282 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,894 But then I can't use the analog pre-amp to play my SACDs. 283 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,563 You're tired. You're not thinking right. 284 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,265 Did it ever occur to you that I might be using 285 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,801 single-ended interconnects for the front left-right speakers? 286 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:01,969 Are you mad? 287 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,170 You can't do that. 288 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,138 Just watch me. 289 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,607 I know it sounds weird, but this is 290 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:10,010 the most fulfilling conversation I've had in weeks. 291 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,945 JACKIE: Isn't there supposed to be some signal 292 00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,014 that tells the other cars to get out of the way? 293 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,448 INSTRUCTOR: Does anyone see a thingy 294 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:16,917 of one-cent stamps by their feet? 295 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:17,985 REESE: It's been 45 minutes. 296 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,352 I'm not going to get my turn. 297 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:20,620 Okay, pull over. 298 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:25,959 Finally. 299 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,995 I just need to go to the post office. 300 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:31,131 Oh, God, look at that line. 301 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,332 What are you doing? 302 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,433 It's my turn. 303 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,268 Oh, sorry, Reese, it doesn't look 304 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,837 like we'll have enough time, 305 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,606 but you got very valuable watching experience. 306 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,374 We'll get to you next week. 307 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,013 Slide over. 308 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:46,880 No way. 309 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,849 (burps) Ugh. 310 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,821 I at least get to drive back 311 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,055 to the stupid school. 312 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,857 I'm not going home without at least 313 00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:58,491 touching the steering wheel. 314 00:10:58,525 --> 00:10:59,793 (metallic crunching) 315 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:00,694 What was that? 316 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:01,729 You crashed. 317 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:02,730 No, I didn't. 318 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,497 The car's not even in drive. 319 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:05,632 Yeah, well, 320 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,900 you're behind the wheel. 321 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,668 What are you going to do now, hotshot? 322 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,037 (whimpers) 323 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,005 I'm so sorry, I... 324 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,674 (Reese screams) (tires squealing) 325 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:25,819 (horns honking) JACKIE: So, let's see. 326 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,187 We've got grand theft auto, 327 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,222 malicious crashing and what else? 328 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,591 Oh, yeah, kidnapping me. 329 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,260 I always knew you'd go to prison. 330 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,928 I just figured it'd be after prom. 331 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,997 Will you shut up and let me think about this? 332 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,599 Do you realize you are driving 20 miles an hour on a freeway? 333 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,201 Hey, I'm not getting a speeding ticket 334 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,836 on top of everything else. 335 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,905 Now will you just leave me alone for a couple of minutes 336 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,339 and let me figure this out? 337 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,775 (siren chirps) 338 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,343 (siren wailing) 339 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,779 Ha! 340 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,747 Okay, don't panic. 341 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:55,282 It's just a cop. That's nothing. 342 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:58,285 You can handle one stupid cop. 343 00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,888 (sirens wailing) 344 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,856 Oh, man. 345 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:03,957 What are you doing? 346 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:05,592 Aren't you pulling over? 347 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,726 I don't know. 348 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,961 I think I'm still going. 349 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,696 Reese, if you're being chased by the cops 350 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,598 and they say "pull over," you have to do it. 351 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:12,632 That's a law. 352 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,234 Yeah, well, even so. 353 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,303 You can't... 354 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,639 You know, that's a really good plan, Reese. 355 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:21,909 I just see one little problem with it. 356 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:24,344 This is a Driver's Ed car! 357 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,881 Those cheap sons of... 358 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:31,318 (overlapping clamoring) There no sense screaming to me about Francis. 359 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,820 I haven't seen him. 360 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,822 I spent five hours digging post holes 361 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,723 because he promised me a satellite dish. 362 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,126 He promised me a satellite dish. 363 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,628 And where the hell is my George Foreman grill? 364 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,396 I'm just as mad as the rest of you. 365 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,566 I'm pretty sure these teeth came off a dead guy. 366 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,668 Taste like a Canadian. 367 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,170 Well, he's through taking advantage of me, 368 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,704 I can tell you that. 369 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,512 Well, Pierre, your identical American cousin 370 00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,181 is in a heap of trouble. 371 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,550 Oui. 372 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:07,754 CRAIG: Another half turn. Easy, easy... 373 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:08,755 Don't strip it. 374 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,923 Got it. 375 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,124 Beautiful. 376 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,460 Now all we have to do is adjust it and we're done. 377 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,494 Congratulations. 378 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,163 I got to admit, it was pretty hairy there. 379 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,530 Especially with those hub connectors. 380 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,032 Stripping that extra quarter inch 381 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:20,500 off the copper leads was inspired. 382 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,701 I hardly even remember it. 383 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,303 I was running on pure adrenaline. 384 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,439 You know what, Craig, I got to tell you, 385 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,441 this was a lot of fun. 386 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,443 I actually enjoyed spending time with you. 387 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,146 You didn't have to lie to get me over here. 388 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,381 Yes, I did. 389 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,116 Yeah, okay. 390 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,284 But you wouldn't now. 391 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:42,055 I guess what I'm trying to say is, you know... 392 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:44,457 I'm sorry for all the times we made you miserable. 393 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,227 It's okay. 394 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,461 You're a good guy. 395 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,497 I like you. 396 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,802 Run down and check the signal, will you? 397 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,504 Okay. 398 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,541 And try not to screw it up... 399 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,311 buddy. 400 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,479 We're getting 42%. 401 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,416 Try moving the dish a little to the right. 402 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:13,053 A little more. 57... 403 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,687 Up a little more. 404 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,723 61... 405 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,826 REPORTER: ...a low speed chase involving a teenager, 406 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,428 a Driver's Ed car 407 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,496 and what appears to be a hostage. 408 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:24,932 INSTRUCTOR: It all happened so fast. 409 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,900 He just took off. 410 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:30,770 With my checkbook and all my financial papers in the car. 411 00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,105 That's not an excuse. 412 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:36,009 I just hope that B of A understands the situation. 413 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,744 REPORTER: Although the hostage seems to be unharmed, 414 00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:40,113 it's only a matter of time before the police decide 415 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,082 to end it one way or the other. 416 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,083 Oh, no! 417 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,986 Now they're never going to let me drive. 418 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,791 How's it looking? 419 00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:54,561 Malcolm? 420 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,862 Malcolm?! 421 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,698 I can't hear you. 422 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:02,135 You're not watching without me, are you? 423 00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,738 (screams) 424 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,942 Malcolm! 425 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:12,079 Malcolm! 426 00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,880 (reporter speaks indistinctly on TV) 427 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,549 Just let me talk to him 428 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,651 and I can end this in five minutes. 429 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,920 I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't think that's a good idea. 430 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,422 We have trained psychologists 431 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,257 to handle kids in these situations. 432 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,392 We know how they think. 433 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,294 Think? My son doesn't think. 434 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,929 He's just driving around in circles. 435 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,965 He's made three laps around the city already. 436 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,400 There's our dry cleaner again. 437 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,402 Here's another picture of my brother 438 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,636 you can show on TV. 439 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,807 Just get him on the phone and let me handle this. 440 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,509 I'm the only one who knows how. 441 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,344 Trust me, we have this under control. 442 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:46,446 Don't think I don't know what's going to happen. 443 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,648 You're going to do your standard police thing 444 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,284 and my son is going to get killed in a hail of gunfire. 445 00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:54,121 Ma'am, that almost never happens. 446 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:59,092 Just get him on the phone! 447 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,961 And you tell him, if he ever wants to see daylight again, 448 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,330 he'll pull over this instant! 449 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,532 OFFICER (on loudspeaker): Your mother wants you to know 450 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,933 that she loves you and... 451 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,802 He has ten seconds to pull over that damn car, or I will... 452 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:12,839 ...give you lots of hugs and kisses. 453 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,474 You heard your mom, you're not in trouble. 454 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,309 Can you pull over now? 455 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:19,046 That's not my mom. 456 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,220 Please, dear God... 457 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,656 I know I haven't been a saint, but I swear if you... 458 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,059 (screams) 459 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,463 (sirens wailing) 460 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,565 No, Daddy, this is not my fault. 461 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,733 I'm just a passenger. 462 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,902 How is this making you look like a chump? 463 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,537 I'm the one... 464 00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:46,306 Hold on. 465 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,875 Hello? No. 466 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,043 No, I'm on the other line. 467 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,544 If you want to talk to him so bad, 468 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:52,745 use the bullhorn thingy. 469 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,048 Hi, I'm back. 470 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:58,751 No, I was not talking to Mom. It was the... 471 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,254 Daddy, I don't care who she's... 472 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:02,855 No, I will not tell her. 473 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:06,559 You have to stop putting me in... 474 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:07,926 Go ahead, you know what? Go ahead 475 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,597 cancel the card... cancel all my cards. 476 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:14,701 I'm going to be in this car for the rest of my life anyway. 477 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,536 Okay, I've got an idea. What? 478 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,405 There's a railroad crossing about a mile ahead. 479 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,240 If we jump out a split second 480 00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:21,708 before the train squashes the car, 481 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,876 we can start new lives as circus people. 482 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,746 Reese, come on. This is getting scary. 483 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,881 What are you going to do? 484 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,350 (dings) 485 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,085 OFFICER (on loudspeaker): This is your last warning. 486 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:35,255 Pull over or you will be forced from the road. 487 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:39,359 Jackie, I have to tell you something. 488 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,627 Just because I hate you, 489 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,862 doesn't mean I'm not sorry. 490 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:43,696 What? 491 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,398 I didn't mean to get you into this. 492 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,601 It's just that I'm not, you know, I'm not very smart. 493 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,303 So when I get in trouble, I panic 494 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,539 and then I do things that make it worse. 495 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,374 I'm really sorry. 496 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,143 And your dad is a tool. 497 00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,613 Hey, I was just kidding about the kidnapping thing. 498 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,949 I mean, you have enough to worry about 499 00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,751 without me being a jerk about it, right? 500 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,287 Wait a second. 501 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,755 Jackie, give me your phone. 502 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,657 I have a brother who's a total genius. 503 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,159 He'll know what to do. 504 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,227 How many police cars are chasing you? 505 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,928 I don't know, eight, maybe nine. 506 00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:18,398 What are we going to do? There's no way out of this. 507 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,332 Hey, don't give up. 508 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,833 Sometimes things look their darkest 509 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,669 right before the sun breaks through. 510 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:33,813 And sometimes you just have to realize that the game is over 511 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,883 and that you've lost. The... 512 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,925 The only thing left to do is to stop running, stand up 513 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,061 and face the consequences like a man. And... 514 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,769 And even if the outcome is going to be more horrible 515 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,505 than you could've possibly imagined, 516 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:01,374 you can hold your head up high, show some class 517 00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:03,743 and end it with dignity. 518 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:07,980 Class. 519 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,049 For the love of God, not the stump rooter! 520 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,551 No! 521 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,722 Where is he going? 522 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:17,957 He's turning. 523 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,560 (sirens wailing) 524 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,868 * 525 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,223 Wow. Nice. 526 00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:52,559 It was. 527 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,735 Okay, that's impressive. 528 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:03,970 Look, he's pulling over. 529 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,776 I think he's going to parallel park. 530 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:10,543 No way. 531 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,178 The spot is way too small. 532 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,913 He's going too fast and he hasn't given himself 533 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,448 enough space on the right! 534 00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:24,791 He did it. Now just get out of the damn car, please. 535 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,494 Reese, that was amazing. 536 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:32,532 Listen, when the kids at school ask you about this... 537 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,767 tell them I got under your bra. 538 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,405 (grunting) 539 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,676 I'll call the lawyer and have him meet us there. 540 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,778 Cuff him. 541 00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:48,415 (handcuffs clicking) 542 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:55,755 Give them a reason. Give them a reason. 543 00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,957 REPORTER: The suspect appears to be resisting. 544 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,327 Oh, looks like they're taking out the pepper spray. 545 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,128 (Reese screams) 546 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,933 Why do we have to get dressed like this? 547 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:07,934 It's Reese's hearing. 548 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,436 Because when the judge looks over at us, 549 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:12,138 I want him to see that Reese comes from a respectable family 550 00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:13,105 that loves him very much. 551 00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:15,342 Why aren't they trying him as an adult? 552 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:16,643 Come on, we got to go. 553 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,010 I have to go to Craig's after. 554 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,446 Jellybean is getting his cast off 555 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:20,847 and he wants me to videotape it. 556 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,749 Craig's talking already? Good for him. 557 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,651 I was really creeped out about that whole 558 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,653 "one blink, yes, two blinks, no" stuff. 559 00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,355 No, you got it the other way around, Hal. 560 00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,557 One blink means "no." 561 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:35,395 So the soup was too hot.