1 00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:04,899 Charlotte was a nice girl. 2 00:00:05,658 --> 00:00:07,969 What if you didn't have to be dead? 3 00:00:08,386 --> 00:00:09,612 Nobody can know. 4 00:00:09,655 --> 00:00:11,931 You touch murder victims, you ask who killed them. 5 00:00:11,947 --> 00:00:13,973 You touch them again, they go back to being dead, 6 00:00:14,021 --> 00:00:15,516 and you collect the reward? 7 00:00:15,565 --> 00:00:16,722 That's it in a nutshell. 8 00:00:16,812 --> 00:00:18,552 Who's the funny girl stuck to Ned? 9 00:00:18,567 --> 00:00:20,504 - Childhood sweetheart. - Do they touch much? 10 00:00:20,524 --> 00:00:21,548 Wish they would. 11 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,593 What's she doing here? Dead girl's got to go. 12 00:00:23,621 --> 00:00:24,865 Dead girl's not going anywhere. 13 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:27,830 We haven't seen each other in 20 years. Don't you want to know about me? 14 00:00:27,858 --> 00:00:30,410 - I want to know everything about you. - We all have secrets. 15 00:00:31,403 --> 00:00:33,900 Season 1 Episode 3 "The Fun in Funeral" 16 00:00:33,981 --> 00:00:36,443 www.All-about-Subs.fr 17 00:00:40,543 --> 00:00:43,095 At this very moment, young Ned was 9 years, 18 00:00:43,114 --> 00:00:46,587 34 weeks, 12 hours, and 54 minutes old. 19 00:00:46,768 --> 00:00:48,365 He was a gifted boy... 20 00:00:48,592 --> 00:00:50,875 Not academically, nor athleticly. 21 00:00:51,195 --> 00:00:54,669 He was gifted, in a way no other boy was gifted. 22 00:00:54,857 --> 00:00:58,473 Young Ned could touch dead things and bring them back to life. 23 00:00:59,696 --> 00:01:02,989 But if he touched the dead thing twice, it died again... 24 00:01:03,087 --> 00:01:04,129 Forever. 25 00:01:07,295 --> 00:01:10,132 The consequence of not touching a dead thing twice 26 00:01:10,214 --> 00:01:12,272 was as cruel as any consequence, 27 00:01:12,357 --> 00:01:13,545 and that was... 28 00:01:13,608 --> 00:01:15,364 something else had to die. 29 00:01:18,182 --> 00:01:21,873 Young Ned rationalized this consequence was beyond his control. 30 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,361 He was not to blame. 31 00:01:24,648 --> 00:01:26,274 But to remain blameless, 32 00:01:26,431 --> 00:01:27,857 he had to understand. 33 00:01:36,177 --> 00:01:37,992 He realized to give life, 34 00:01:38,129 --> 00:01:39,482 he had to take it. 35 00:01:39,676 --> 00:01:42,179 Death however, had a grace period. 36 00:01:42,842 --> 00:01:46,684 What young Ned did not know was how long that grace period was. 37 00:01:49,354 --> 00:01:50,354 One minute. 38 00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:56,954 Fearing the consequences of his actions, Ned vowed to never, 39 00:01:57,027 --> 00:02:00,857 ever again bring a dead back to life for more than a minute... 40 00:02:02,332 --> 00:02:03,878 Until he did it again. 41 00:02:05,078 --> 00:02:07,128 The expression "pie in the sky" 42 00:02:07,246 --> 00:02:09,735 entered popular culture in 1911. 43 00:02:09,824 --> 00:02:14,383 It refers to a dessert so sweet, it can only be found in heaven. 44 00:02:15,186 --> 00:02:17,648 If you're craving something before you die, 45 00:02:17,682 --> 00:02:20,867 I recommend where the pie maker makes his pies. 46 00:02:21,491 --> 00:02:22,683 But if you're like Chuck, 47 00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:25,992 you may enjoy the pie even after you die. 48 00:02:26,136 --> 00:02:28,161 Her 60 seconds came and went. 49 00:02:28,309 --> 00:02:29,567 She stayed alive, 50 00:02:29,836 --> 00:02:32,226 and instead, someone else had to die. 51 00:02:32,376 --> 00:02:35,016 He kept Chuck blissfully unaware of this fact. 52 00:02:35,152 --> 00:02:36,530 She was alive again. 53 00:02:36,592 --> 00:02:37,592 That was that. 54 00:02:38,015 --> 00:02:40,967 Which birthday do I celebrate? I've got two of them now... 55 00:02:41,098 --> 00:02:43,504 The first day I was alive, the first day I was alive again. 56 00:02:43,542 --> 00:02:45,226 One that requires less explanation. 57 00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:48,248 You remember my 8th birthday, right before my dad died? 58 00:02:48,672 --> 00:02:50,097 You remember what you got me? 59 00:02:50,631 --> 00:02:51,631 A t-shirt. 60 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:52,849 With a beaver on it. 61 00:02:52,888 --> 00:02:54,660 He had little lipstick kisses on his cheek, 62 00:02:54,685 --> 00:02:56,361 and he was holding a sign saying, 63 00:02:56,399 --> 00:02:58,257 "Be kind to animals. Kiss a beaver." 64 00:02:58,295 --> 00:03:01,118 I suppose I should be celebrating every minute now, shouldn't I? 65 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,765 I could be anybody now, anybody I want. I like that idea. 66 00:03:03,797 --> 00:03:05,165 l'm gonna give that some thought. 67 00:03:05,242 --> 00:03:07,843 The pie maker liked that idea as well, 68 00:03:07,939 --> 00:03:09,951 as long as her thoughts didn't fall on. 69 00:03:10,409 --> 00:03:11,859 Why is it only a minute? 70 00:03:11,985 --> 00:03:14,566 - A minute seems awfully arbitrary. - A minute's a long time. 71 00:03:14,624 --> 00:03:15,806 A lot can happen in a minute. 72 00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:18,537 Besides, the longer someone's around and that's not supposed to, 73 00:03:18,552 --> 00:03:20,924 the more likely it is that something will happen... 74 00:03:21,175 --> 00:03:23,875 Not necessarily directly or by any fault of theirs, 75 00:03:23,905 --> 00:03:26,172 but, you know, butterfly wings and such. 76 00:03:26,202 --> 00:03:28,412 - What about 'em? - They cause hurricanes. 77 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,217 Oh, right. Am I a hurricane? 78 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,894 A little bit, but I... 79 00:03:32,038 --> 00:03:33,272 I like the weather. 80 00:03:40,238 --> 00:03:42,352 You really shouldn't do that. 81 00:03:43,509 --> 00:03:47,194 Chuck wasn't the only storm brewing in the pie hole that evening. 82 00:03:48,608 --> 00:03:50,610 An innocuous low-pressure system 83 00:03:50,629 --> 00:03:53,444 was forming that would soon become hurricane Olive. 84 00:03:54,198 --> 00:03:56,857 Watching the pie maker kiss the woman that wasn't her, 85 00:03:57,145 --> 00:03:58,703 Olive stopped breathing. 86 00:03:58,773 --> 00:04:01,237 It was as if all the oxygen had left the room. 87 00:04:01,304 --> 00:04:02,423 Espresso, please. 88 00:04:03,479 --> 00:04:04,482 We have coffee. 89 00:04:04,501 --> 00:04:06,387 - You have an espresso machine. - It's broken. 90 00:04:06,408 --> 00:04:08,855 Sits there being pretty, but nobody touches it. 91 00:04:09,266 --> 00:04:10,269 Decaf or regular? 92 00:04:10,288 --> 00:04:13,343 - No flavors. Hazelnut, french vanilla? - Why can't sugar be enough? 93 00:04:15,871 --> 00:04:17,027 Here's your sugar. 94 00:04:17,788 --> 00:04:19,216 Oh, I forgot to breathe. 95 00:04:20,696 --> 00:04:22,670 Ever feel like all the oxygen left the room? 96 00:04:22,718 --> 00:04:23,731 Oh, my, yes. 97 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:26,200 In that moment, Alfredo Aldarisio 98 00:04:26,336 --> 00:04:28,970 recognized a kindred spirit in Olive Snook. 99 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:32,606 He also lived in constant fear of the oxygen leaving the room, 100 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,212 but his pathology ran much, much deeper. 101 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,927 He was haunted by the notion that, at any moment, 102 00:04:37,942 --> 00:04:39,822 the Earth could lose its atmosphere, 103 00:04:39,866 --> 00:04:42,531 and he would be sucked into the vacuum of space. 104 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,290 Excuse me. 105 00:04:50,312 --> 00:04:52,087 A traveling salesman by trade, 106 00:04:52,143 --> 00:04:55,176 Mr. Aldarisio sells pharmaceutical alternatives, 107 00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:58,089 which he also uses to manage his condition. 108 00:04:58,731 --> 00:04:59,731 Medicinal. 109 00:05:00,144 --> 00:05:02,236 You're not wrong about the oxygen leaving the room. 110 00:05:02,263 --> 00:05:04,559 The planet is losing atmosphere. It's affecting gravity. 111 00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:06,324 Volumes aren't what they used to be. 112 00:05:06,391 --> 00:05:07,819 They had to adjust the kilogram. 113 00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:10,816 Well, if you ask me, the kilogram needs to be taken down a peg. 114 00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:12,786 Decaf or regular? 115 00:05:12,911 --> 00:05:14,650 Regular, lots of sugar, 116 00:05:15,163 --> 00:05:16,452 more than enough. 117 00:05:20,569 --> 00:05:24,166 Emerson Cod, private investigator, made a business of murder, 118 00:05:24,229 --> 00:05:26,374 but before he could get down to business... 119 00:05:26,389 --> 00:05:27,680 I feel like ice cream. 120 00:05:29,059 --> 00:05:30,910 Musing on the idea of setting someone on fire 121 00:05:30,938 --> 00:05:32,947 doesn't mean you really want to set them on fire. 122 00:05:32,962 --> 00:05:35,528 Just thought of it that makes you happy, but only for a second. 123 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,673 Then you feel bad, but that second can be a lot fun. 124 00:05:37,688 --> 00:05:39,292 You thinking of setting someone on fire? 125 00:05:39,307 --> 00:05:40,871 I was just speaking in the figurative. 126 00:05:40,886 --> 00:05:43,732 But figuratively speaking, someone should set you on fire for throwing 127 00:05:43,749 --> 00:05:46,124 my heart under the bus when you told me he didn't want me. 128 00:05:46,139 --> 00:05:48,345 - That was the truth bus. - That wasn't the truth bus. 129 00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:49,936 That was the bitchy crosstown express. 130 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,667 By "bitchy", you mean "frank and honest"? 131 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,233 If I want frank and honest... 132 00:05:54,582 --> 00:05:56,071 I don't want frank and honest. 133 00:05:56,109 --> 00:05:59,038 I never want frank and honest, so let's just take it off the docket. 134 00:06:01,965 --> 00:06:04,975 While we're on the subject of frank and honest, I don't like that girl, 135 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:06,845 not one bit. 136 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:17,201 Emerson Cod liked her even less, so much so, 137 00:06:17,355 --> 00:06:20,519 it warranted a private conversation with the pie maker, 138 00:06:21,503 --> 00:06:22,969 but not private enough. 139 00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:25,384 - So, somebody died? - How did they die? 140 00:06:25,539 --> 00:06:27,128 They died mysteriously. 141 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,782 He somebody or she somebody? 142 00:06:28,834 --> 00:06:31,278 He. I told you I wanted to discuss this in private. 143 00:06:31,316 --> 00:06:33,318 Chuck is private... Part of my private. 144 00:06:33,362 --> 00:06:35,047 She ain't part of mine. I don't know her. 145 00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:38,142 So, what's the mysterious part, the way they died or the circumstances? 146 00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:40,875 Did you find him with a noose around his neck and you didn't quite 147 00:06:40,903 --> 00:06:43,996 know how it got there, did he drown in his bed, but the sheets were all dry? 148 00:06:44,015 --> 00:06:45,061 You're obsessed. 149 00:06:45,076 --> 00:06:47,441 Am I? Do you think dying has made me morbid? 150 00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:48,881 Come on. 151 00:06:48,916 --> 00:06:50,869 - How did the somebody die? - Said it felt like 152 00:06:50,889 --> 00:06:53,196 life just got up and left him, like I'm gonna leave you. 153 00:06:53,233 --> 00:06:55,845 You know what it could be? It could be one of those untraceable 154 00:06:55,864 --> 00:06:57,959 poisons, or a four-stage poison, when you have to, 155 00:06:57,974 --> 00:07:00,577 like, touch four things before it actually kills the person. 156 00:07:00,592 --> 00:07:01,669 It could be that. 157 00:07:03,602 --> 00:07:05,799 What did you say it was besides mysterious? 158 00:07:05,837 --> 00:07:09,221 - I have not yet expressed my opinion. - Would you care to express it now? 159 00:07:09,243 --> 00:07:11,054 My opinion is, you need to take a coupon for 160 00:07:11,074 --> 00:07:13,213 for this conversation and redeem it at another date. 161 00:07:13,284 --> 00:07:15,495 - I want to use my coupon now. - Redeem it tomorrow. 162 00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:19,676 There's somebody in the county fridge I need you to talk to... 163 00:07:22,668 --> 00:07:23,497 Um... 164 00:07:25,707 --> 00:07:27,494 In private... My private... 165 00:07:27,579 --> 00:07:30,113 Which doesn't include her, so she better not come. 166 00:07:35,652 --> 00:07:37,806 I can write a book on hand moisturizer. 167 00:07:37,913 --> 00:07:41,266 Nobody wants the last thing they've been touched with to be ashy and dry. 168 00:07:41,448 --> 00:07:42,520 Take a gander. 169 00:07:43,491 --> 00:07:44,391 Smooth. 170 00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:47,509 You got some serious cracks going on there. 171 00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:48,837 Put those up here. 172 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,426 Hi. 173 00:07:57,889 --> 00:07:59,790 Thought you just came by to say "hello." 174 00:08:02,009 --> 00:08:04,610 - You won't even know I'm here. - 'Cause you leaving? 175 00:08:04,632 --> 00:08:05,928 - No. - Come on. 176 00:08:06,008 --> 00:08:07,067 It makes her happy. 177 00:08:07,342 --> 00:08:09,846 You remember what that happiness looks like. 178 00:08:09,964 --> 00:08:11,423 Redeem your coupon. 179 00:08:13,128 --> 00:08:14,887 Now you're gonna listen to me. 180 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:16,978 I ain't gonna say another word. 181 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,729 "Future me," though, is going, "I told you so," up one side of you 182 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:23,085 and down the other one, but "now me" is just gonna sit back and watch. 183 00:08:34,673 --> 00:08:35,673 Oh, no. 184 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:36,931 "Oh, no," what? 185 00:08:37,138 --> 00:08:38,501 The facts were these... 186 00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:39,855 Cunning and corrupt, 187 00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:42,516 Lawrence Schatz was a funeral director who made a living 188 00:08:42,557 --> 00:08:45,541 off the dead above and beyond his job description. 189 00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:48,942 2 days, 8 hours, and 43 minutes before his death, 190 00:08:49,472 --> 00:08:52,052 he was exposed as a grave robber. 191 00:08:52,342 --> 00:08:54,715 I was just prep'ing the body for burial. 192 00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,529 Your wife's gorgeous. How did you guys meet? 193 00:08:57,712 --> 00:09:00,014 But before any legal action could be taken 194 00:09:00,108 --> 00:09:03,129 and before the spoils of his grave-robbing could be found, 195 00:09:03,164 --> 00:09:07,119 Lawrence Schatz found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. 196 00:09:07,156 --> 00:09:09,203 He was 44 years, 17 months, 197 00:09:09,266 --> 00:09:11,469 10 days, 6 hours, and 9 minutes old 198 00:09:11,532 --> 00:09:15,130 when he found himself in close proximity of the pie maker. 199 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:21,201 But to keep his sleeping beauty alive 200 00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:23,383 meant that someone else had to die. 201 00:09:23,422 --> 00:09:25,949 What if you didn't have to be dead? 202 00:09:26,186 --> 00:09:27,757 And one minute later, 203 00:09:28,239 --> 00:09:30,072 the pie maker took a life... 204 00:09:30,642 --> 00:09:32,406 And gave it to someone else. 205 00:09:32,464 --> 00:09:33,767 Why are you running away? 206 00:09:34,422 --> 00:09:36,718 Vertigo... Dizzy. The room started spinning, and I... 207 00:09:36,756 --> 00:09:38,428 I think it's my shoes. They're... 208 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,441 stiff, and they pinch, and I... 209 00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:42,538 I think they're cutting off my circulation. 210 00:09:42,571 --> 00:09:44,620 That was mean. That was a very mean thing you did. 211 00:09:44,678 --> 00:09:47,488 Really? 'Cause "future me" is here now and he's got something to say. 212 00:09:47,516 --> 00:09:48,639 But if you didn't touch him, 213 00:09:48,661 --> 00:09:50,822 hsow're we supposed to find out who killed him? 214 00:09:50,847 --> 00:09:51,970 Already know who killed him. 215 00:09:52,028 --> 00:09:53,962 So the mysterious part is how he was killed. 216 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,064 Already know that, too. 217 00:09:55,082 --> 00:09:57,089 Okay, how was he killed, and who was the killer? 218 00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:59,008 Yeah. Who was the killer? 219 00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:00,776 The pie maker's eye twitched 220 00:10:00,824 --> 00:10:03,744 in anticipation of the lie he was about to tell, 221 00:10:03,783 --> 00:10:06,722 but, instead, what he told was the truth. 222 00:10:06,819 --> 00:10:07,629 Me. 223 00:10:07,937 --> 00:10:08,748 What? 224 00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:11,586 You killed someone? 225 00:10:14,493 --> 00:10:15,561 Why did you kill? 226 00:10:15,576 --> 00:10:17,629 - I didn't. - You didn't. That's why somebody died. 227 00:10:17,656 --> 00:10:19,188 Please stop talking. 228 00:10:19,208 --> 00:10:20,104 You didn't what? 229 00:10:20,131 --> 00:10:23,018 Look, you need a ticket to ride this ride. If your ticket gets punched, 230 00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:24,883 then you got to take somebody else's ticket. 231 00:10:24,898 --> 00:10:27,343 - Why are you still talking? - I'm ripping off the band-aid. 232 00:10:27,358 --> 00:10:29,627 I'm not a ripper, I pull up a corner at a time, I run it under 233 00:10:29,655 --> 00:10:32,074 warm water, and I pull it up a little more. It's a process. 234 00:10:32,101 --> 00:10:33,259 Let it rip. 235 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,256 I didn't actively kill. I'm not an active killer. 236 00:10:36,315 --> 00:10:37,645 I'm not a killer. 237 00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:40,094 You killed someone for me? 238 00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:41,423 It wasn't my fault. 239 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:42,903 It's a random proximity thing. 240 00:10:42,951 --> 00:10:46,646 There was no choice or decision-making whatsoever. It just happened. 241 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:48,535 But you knew it would happen. 242 00:10:48,562 --> 00:10:50,830 I was incapacitated with not being able to think. 243 00:10:50,846 --> 00:10:54,053 I had one thought in my head and it was of you and it clogged me up so no other 244 00:10:54,068 --> 00:10:57,155 thoughts could get through, including the one telling me to touch you again. 245 00:10:57,171 --> 00:11:00,111 So every minute I've been celebrating wasn't really mine to celebrate. 246 00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:05,135 As Chuck considered the life she was living that was not her own... 247 00:11:06,268 --> 00:11:08,734 Olive considered the life she was not living. 248 00:11:08,749 --> 00:11:11,691 - Might I make an observation? - Compliment or criticism? 249 00:11:11,768 --> 00:11:14,779 A neutral thought, I would say. It's neither complimentary nor critical. 250 00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:17,909 Neutral thought gives me pause. 251 00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:20,247 Neutral for only this portion of the conversation, 252 00:11:20,275 --> 00:11:23,336 but I do have complimentary observations as part of a follow-up discussion, 253 00:11:23,364 --> 00:11:26,342 which I intend to headline with an offer to repair your espresso machine. 254 00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:28,854 - What's your neutral thought? - You seem decidedly unhappy. 255 00:11:28,892 --> 00:11:32,468 - I haven't decided that. - No anxieties, neuroses, pathologies? 256 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,574 Garden variety. What are you beating at? 257 00:11:34,604 --> 00:11:36,044 I'm beating at happiness. 258 00:11:36,103 --> 00:11:37,999 I've beaten it into submission 259 00:11:38,268 --> 00:11:40,089 and bottled it for convenience. 260 00:11:43,576 --> 00:11:44,846 It's homeopathic. 261 00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,914 Meaning it deeply relate to gay people. 262 00:11:46,971 --> 00:11:49,109 "gay" only in that they are bright and happy. 263 00:11:49,124 --> 00:11:52,094 You never have to worry about the oxygen leaving the room again. 264 00:11:52,207 --> 00:11:54,246 Don't go bothering the customers with this. 265 00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,768 This is a pie house, not some herbal crack den. 266 00:11:59,774 --> 00:12:01,091 Chuck, say something. 267 00:12:01,129 --> 00:12:03,336 I can't, for the life of me, think of anything to say. 268 00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:05,405 I forgot... It's not even my life, is it? 269 00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,300 Not now. 270 00:12:22,468 --> 00:12:23,566 I feel violated. 271 00:12:24,101 --> 00:12:25,290 That was my information. 272 00:12:25,340 --> 00:12:27,718 There's your information, and then there's my information. 273 00:12:27,757 --> 00:12:29,085 That was our information. 274 00:12:29,118 --> 00:12:31,744 You let a man die on our time, a man who could have been me. 275 00:12:31,771 --> 00:12:33,419 - It wasn't. - But it could have been. 276 00:12:33,459 --> 00:12:34,983 That was a business associate of mine. 277 00:12:34,998 --> 00:12:36,962 Who do you think hooked us up with corpse bride? 278 00:12:36,978 --> 00:12:38,642 But he stole stuff off dead people. 279 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,474 Regardless of how he ran his own business, 280 00:12:40,505 --> 00:12:42,147 he never interfered with how I ran mine. 281 00:12:42,186 --> 00:12:44,134 But you, made me an accomplice to a murder. 282 00:12:44,149 --> 00:12:45,990 Stop saying that. I didn't murder anyone. 283 00:12:46,191 --> 00:12:48,414 There was no malice or forethought. Okay, maybe... 284 00:12:48,482 --> 00:12:50,854 accidental, involuntary manslaughter. 285 00:12:51,824 --> 00:12:54,914 You accidentally, involuntarily let dead girl live? 286 00:12:55,879 --> 00:12:56,699 Well... 287 00:12:56,714 --> 00:12:58,601 Yeah, that's what I thought you was gonna say. 288 00:12:58,622 --> 00:13:00,709 Lawrence Schatz was murdered enough for his brother 289 00:13:00,734 --> 00:13:02,815 to hire me to find out who killed him. 290 00:13:03,655 --> 00:13:05,000 Why did you take this case? 291 00:13:05,025 --> 00:13:06,546 You want me to take this case. 292 00:13:06,931 --> 00:13:09,041 I'm making sure nobody else solves it. 293 00:13:09,361 --> 00:13:11,442 Look, I didn't want to go down this road with you. 294 00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:14,195 I'm sensitive to your experience. I understand that it's traumatic. 295 00:13:14,214 --> 00:13:17,617 But now I need to chat with Lawrence Schatz before he goes into the ground... 296 00:13:17,706 --> 00:13:18,612 tomorrow. 297 00:13:18,649 --> 00:13:21,338 I'm not going back there. It's returning to the scene of a crime. 298 00:13:21,376 --> 00:13:23,772 That's just sloppy. And by the way, to ask him what? 299 00:13:23,833 --> 00:13:27,432 I want to ask Lawrence what he did with all those precious family heirlooms. 300 00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:28,601 So you can... 301 00:13:29,201 --> 00:13:33,538 Return it to the families end help heal the greving? 302 00:13:33,942 --> 00:13:37,630 Yeah, 'cause after the grieving stops, you have joy, 303 00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,224 and with joy comes money, 304 00:13:39,267 --> 00:13:43,096 and Louis Schatz will stop asking questions about how his brother died. 305 00:13:45,303 --> 00:13:47,807 I'm not touching Lawrence Schatz. It's too traumatic. 306 00:13:48,159 --> 00:13:50,088 I am fragile on this issue. 307 00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:52,355 - That how it is? - Yeah. 308 00:13:52,678 --> 00:13:53,853 That's how it is. 309 00:13:54,412 --> 00:13:55,529 Whatever you say... 310 00:13:56,410 --> 00:13:57,410 Killer. 311 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,160 The pie maker rationalized circumstances 312 00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:04,663 beyond his control were responsible for Lawrence Schatz's death. 313 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,134 He was not to blame. 314 00:14:06,570 --> 00:14:09,032 Rationalizing those rationalizations 315 00:14:09,047 --> 00:14:13,248 to the man he inadvertently killed was something he'd rather not do. 316 00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:15,129 I want to talk to Lawrence Schatz. 317 00:14:16,044 --> 00:14:17,995 I want you to talk to him, too. 318 00:14:20,345 --> 00:14:21,811 Why would I do that? 319 00:14:21,850 --> 00:14:24,242 So you can apologize, and I can say "thank you." 320 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,861 As the pie maker found himself back at the scene of his crime, 321 00:14:32,044 --> 00:14:35,104 Chuck found herself back where her second life began. 322 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:38,768 Now, with the understanding of how it began. 323 00:14:43,265 --> 00:14:44,789 Have you already been here? 324 00:14:47,371 --> 00:14:49,356 - Lawrence Schatz? - Louis. 325 00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:51,314 Lawrence is dead. Hey, Emerson. 326 00:14:51,372 --> 00:14:52,375 Hey, Louie. 327 00:14:52,496 --> 00:14:54,389 Darling Mermaid Darlings. 328 00:14:54,447 --> 00:14:57,167 Yeah, we just buried their niece, lonely tourist Charlotte Charles. 329 00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,200 You see, they're on tour. 330 00:14:58,219 --> 00:14:59,721 I do. It's so exciting. 331 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,023 Tour was canceled. 332 00:15:01,048 --> 00:15:03,751 They're in a dark place, some kind of an emotional relapse. 333 00:15:03,975 --> 00:15:05,650 - Have we met before? - No. 334 00:15:06,069 --> 00:15:10,699 The cause of the Darling Mermaid Darlings emotional relapse was this... 335 00:15:12,599 --> 00:15:13,856 After losing Chuck, 336 00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:15,660 aunts Lily and Vivian had a better 337 00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:18,178 appreciation of the preciousness of life. 338 00:15:18,404 --> 00:15:22,669 With luggage packed, bonnets cinched, and sunscreen vigorously applied, 339 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:27,022 they were ready at last to start their long-awaited comeback tour, 340 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:28,797 but not today. 341 00:15:28,825 --> 00:15:31,829 To their surprise, there was something waiting in the morning mail, 342 00:15:31,844 --> 00:15:34,929 along side The Thrifty Nickel and The Penny Saver. 343 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:36,551 It's from Charlotte. 344 00:15:36,876 --> 00:15:39,750 In that moment, only for a moment, 345 00:15:39,971 --> 00:15:42,181 aunt Lily forgot Chuck was dead... 346 00:15:42,430 --> 00:15:44,262 Or, at least, dead to her. 347 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,065 Then she remembered. 348 00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:52,674 Poor, poor Charlotte. 349 00:15:54,327 --> 00:15:55,445 And with that, 350 00:15:55,523 --> 00:15:59,387 the Darling Mermaid Darlings canceled their comeback tour. 351 00:15:59,730 --> 00:16:01,775 I'm having a Martini and going to bed. 352 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,084 You know, Larry died on the same day 353 00:16:07,109 --> 00:16:08,992 we buried lonely tourist Charlotte Charles. 354 00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:10,570 We don't often bury a celebrity. 355 00:16:10,881 --> 00:16:11,903 Celebrity. 356 00:16:12,173 --> 00:16:14,985 Burying a celebrity, even a pseudo-celebrity who's only famous 357 00:16:15,022 --> 00:16:17,929 for how she died, must be a coup for any funeral home, I'd imagine. 358 00:16:17,985 --> 00:16:22,928 It would be, if it wasn't for Larry's grave-robbing scandal or his murder. 359 00:16:24,047 --> 00:16:25,047 He's in here. 360 00:16:25,869 --> 00:16:28,783 I got it locked, so no one can defile his dead body. 361 00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:32,015 - Are you sure he was murdered? - I've been putting it all together. 362 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,208 Boy, do I have a tale to tell? 363 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:38,160 And this is the tale Louis Schatz told. 364 00:16:38,211 --> 00:16:40,011 He detailed a series of events 365 00:16:40,026 --> 00:16:43,331 that began when he caught his brother Lawrence in the act. 366 00:16:43,389 --> 00:16:45,415 I was just prepping the body for burial. 367 00:16:45,513 --> 00:16:47,314 Your wife's gorgeous. How'd you meet? 368 00:16:47,823 --> 00:16:48,573 Larry. 369 00:16:48,635 --> 00:16:49,810 How could you? 370 00:16:49,879 --> 00:16:52,495 When word of Lawrence's grave-robbing ways 371 00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:55,011 spread through the sleepy hollow of coeur d'coeurs,// 372 00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:56,932 there was public outrage. 373 00:16:57,053 --> 00:16:59,064 Bulk hate mail and death threats 374 00:16:59,079 --> 00:17:02,198 by the hundred frightened the truth out of Lawrence. 375 00:17:02,237 --> 00:17:04,988 According to Louis he only confessed his sins 376 00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:07,269 to the one person he knew would forgive him. 377 00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:10,625 I buried it all where no one could find it. 378 00:17:10,972 --> 00:17:12,463 You have to give everything back. 379 00:17:12,478 --> 00:17:14,268 But I buried it really deep. 380 00:17:14,307 --> 00:17:17,738 Louis insisted what his brother Lawrence did not confess 381 00:17:17,753 --> 00:17:21,701 was where he had hidden the spoils of his grave-robbery. 382 00:17:22,579 --> 00:17:24,890 That secret he took to his own grave 383 00:17:24,935 --> 00:17:27,480 when he presumably died of heart failure. 384 00:17:27,545 --> 00:17:30,488 But as Louis was besieged by angry families 385 00:17:30,503 --> 00:17:34,336 seeking the return of stolen heirlooms, he began to wonder... 386 00:17:34,394 --> 00:17:36,786 What if it wasn't heart failure? 387 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,008 What if his brother was murdered? 388 00:17:39,116 --> 00:17:42,271 What if, in the hundreds of letters addressed to Lawrence Schatz, 389 00:17:42,334 --> 00:17:44,874 threatening his life, one of them was a promise? 390 00:17:47,423 --> 00:17:49,280 What if his brother was murdered, 391 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,309 and what if his murder was next? 392 00:17:51,408 --> 00:17:53,142 I told Larry it was bad karma. 393 00:17:53,326 --> 00:17:55,309 The whole thing makes me sick... Just sick. 394 00:17:55,388 --> 00:17:58,281 You know what it's like to live in daily fear that one minute you could 395 00:17:58,331 --> 00:18:01,459 drop dead right where you're standing because of something somebody else did? 396 00:18:02,728 --> 00:18:05,024 I feel like I could smoke a cigar with you. 397 00:18:05,162 --> 00:18:06,707 I don't smoke. That was Larry. 398 00:18:07,371 --> 00:18:08,434 Here. Take it. 399 00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,060 He would. 400 00:18:11,739 --> 00:18:14,495 It's true what they say about twins... His life was my life. 401 00:18:14,721 --> 00:18:16,360 It's strange to share someone's life. 402 00:18:16,435 --> 00:18:18,093 I feel like mine's tainted now. 403 00:18:18,188 --> 00:18:19,870 I would love to give back what he took. 404 00:18:20,535 --> 00:18:22,098 We have a moment to pay our respects, 405 00:18:22,121 --> 00:18:24,037 while you go rustle up that hate mail to go? 406 00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:37,062 As they stood over the man who died for one of them 407 00:18:37,162 --> 00:18:38,970 and was killed by the other, 408 00:18:39,139 --> 00:18:42,274 Chuck and the pie maker carefully planned their words. 409 00:18:46,736 --> 00:18:47,547 Yes? 410 00:18:47,662 --> 00:18:48,916 I'm sorry for what I did. 411 00:18:48,974 --> 00:18:51,106 It was mostly an accident, but partially on purpose. 412 00:18:51,134 --> 00:18:53,449 However inadvertent, I am sorry I did it. 413 00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:56,223 That's all. 414 00:18:58,184 --> 00:18:59,187 Hello. 415 00:18:59,426 --> 00:19:03,284 Lonely tourist Charlotte Charles, are you part of my welcoming committee? 416 00:19:03,362 --> 00:19:07,007 More like a beneficiary, in that I'm still alive, which is why you're not. 417 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,414 Am I a human sacrifice? 418 00:19:08,471 --> 00:19:09,557 Hey, Emerson. 419 00:19:09,592 --> 00:19:12,725 Hey, Larry. What'd you do with all that stuff you stole off them dead people? 420 00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:14,580 Why don't you ask Louis what he did with it? 421 00:19:14,595 --> 00:19:17,361 - Louis said you buried it. - And you believed him. You met Louis? 422 00:19:17,450 --> 00:19:19,132 Hey, how did I die? Did somebody kill me? 423 00:19:19,185 --> 00:19:21,760 - Hey, did Louis kill me? - Nobody killed you, per se. 424 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,004 Y- yes, they did. It was so that I could live. 425 00:19:24,019 --> 00:19:25,809 It wasn't personal. I didn't pick you. 426 00:19:25,829 --> 00:19:28,959 Selection is purely random but it didn't help that you were in the next room. 427 00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:31,166 - Louis has all that stuff you stole? - We stole... 428 00:19:31,225 --> 00:19:32,558 It was a family business. 429 00:19:32,613 --> 00:19:34,366 Louis has everything but this watch. 430 00:19:34,482 --> 00:19:36,096 My dad gave me a watch just like that. 431 00:19:36,248 --> 00:19:38,823 You were buried with it. Well, you were supposed to be. 432 00:19:38,898 --> 00:19:40,384 Caught me in the cookie jar. 433 00:19:41,027 --> 00:19:42,547 You stole that off my dead body? 434 00:19:42,562 --> 00:19:44,658 Your dead body wasn't doing anything with it. 435 00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:47,498 Hey, what are you doing? Hey! Hey! 436 00:19:49,639 --> 00:19:50,642 It's stuck. 437 00:19:51,069 --> 00:19:53,105 - You better be playing. - 29 seconds. 438 00:19:54,344 --> 00:19:55,995 Oh, hell, no! 439 00:20:04,805 --> 00:20:06,901 One minute's time was nearing its end. 440 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,278 Random selection was about to begin. 441 00:20:09,623 --> 00:20:10,806 5 seconds! 442 00:20:11,094 --> 00:20:13,429 Maybe I should let him have his life back. 443 00:20:14,787 --> 00:20:15,787 Not how it works. 444 00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:18,986 No regifting! 445 00:20:19,869 --> 00:20:21,277 That wasn't cool, you guys. 446 00:20:30,868 --> 00:20:31,679 Look. 447 00:20:33,444 --> 00:20:36,171 That was so sweet of my aunts to bury it with me. 448 00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:39,698 My dad had it, and then I had it. 449 00:20:40,182 --> 00:20:42,571 Then I suppose he had it, which really steams me. 450 00:20:42,647 --> 00:20:43,785 You got it back? 451 00:20:43,963 --> 00:20:45,043 Yeah, I did. 452 00:20:47,027 --> 00:20:48,667 It's nice to get things back. 453 00:20:50,595 --> 00:20:52,988 My aunts canceled their tour. 454 00:20:54,326 --> 00:20:56,578 I was really looking forward to hiding out in the crowd 455 00:20:56,615 --> 00:20:59,350 with a big pair of sunglasses and a parasol, watching them perform 456 00:20:59,418 --> 00:21:00,833 in their mermaid suits. 457 00:21:03,999 --> 00:21:05,500 He said they were in a dark place. 458 00:21:05,519 --> 00:21:07,857 He said they had some kind of emotional relapse. 459 00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:10,974 Couldn't we just... 460 00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:12,467 You can't see your aunts. 461 00:21:14,656 --> 00:21:15,656 I'm sorry. 462 00:21:23,053 --> 00:21:25,695 If Chuck could not regift the life she'd been given, 463 00:21:25,733 --> 00:21:27,820 she at least wanted to find a way to share 464 00:21:27,878 --> 00:21:29,932 it with her aunts Lily and Vivian. 465 00:21:36,163 --> 00:21:37,946 Anybody dead back there that shouldn't be? 466 00:21:38,527 --> 00:21:39,277 No. 467 00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:41,211 Sweet. 468 00:21:42,712 --> 00:21:45,508 After Lawrence Schatz was exposed as a grave robber, 469 00:21:45,670 --> 00:21:48,556 the mailbox at the Schatz brothers funeral home received 470 00:21:48,571 --> 00:21:52,094 1,867 hate letters, 471 00:21:52,193 --> 00:21:55,741 each one a catalog of heirlooms feared stolen or lost. 472 00:21:55,756 --> 00:21:57,478 Louis Schatz is a big, fat liar. 473 00:21:57,652 --> 00:22:00,045 And I say "fat" in reference to his size as a liar, 474 00:22:00,064 --> 00:22:02,091 not as a judgment of his physical appearance. 475 00:22:02,164 --> 00:22:05,293 I'm not mad at him for lying. If I could pin my crimes on some... 476 00:22:05,334 --> 00:22:06,391 dead relative. 477 00:22:06,779 --> 00:22:09,488 Especially some guilty dead relative, I'd certainly consider it. 478 00:22:09,645 --> 00:22:11,653 Sucker played me like boo-boo the fool... 479 00:22:11,989 --> 00:22:13,803 Hiring me to make him look innocent. 480 00:22:13,845 --> 00:22:16,375 He knew all along where that dead-people treasure was buried. 481 00:22:16,689 --> 00:22:17,692 It's all right, though. 482 00:22:17,731 --> 00:22:20,960 I'm gonna follow his lying fat ass until he lead me right to it. 483 00:22:21,026 --> 00:22:22,388 Then I'm gonna take it. 484 00:22:22,456 --> 00:22:24,203 You can't steal dead people's stuff. 485 00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:25,700 I'm not the one who stole it. 486 00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:28,574 I don't condone what they did, but it's once removed now. 487 00:22:28,621 --> 00:22:30,859 I'm not the pirate... I'm just looking for treasure. 488 00:22:30,962 --> 00:22:32,564 The pirate metaphor is weak. 489 00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:33,602 It's apt. 490 00:22:33,654 --> 00:22:35,900 I find a dead pirate treasure at the bottom of the sea, 491 00:22:35,930 --> 00:22:37,502 I take it, doesn't matter whose it was, 492 00:22:37,533 --> 00:22:39,423 if whose it was is dead, 'cause it's mine now. 493 00:22:39,571 --> 00:22:42,656 This... This isn't a doubloon. This is somebody's something. 494 00:22:42,691 --> 00:22:45,329 Stealing from a pirate who already stole is still stealing. 495 00:22:45,376 --> 00:22:47,719 - It's not once removed. - They don't want that something 496 00:22:47,751 --> 00:22:49,757 if they buried it with somebody who can't use it. 497 00:22:49,780 --> 00:22:52,589 What if Lawrence Schatz was murdered for this buried treasure? 498 00:22:52,604 --> 00:22:54,736 Well, was gonna be before you got to him. 499 00:22:54,784 --> 00:22:56,205 Why'd you have to say it like that? 500 00:22:56,246 --> 00:22:58,086 There's a lot of hostility in these letters. 501 00:22:58,122 --> 00:23:01,051 Do you realize how angry someone has to be to put pen to paper? 502 00:23:01,108 --> 00:23:04,255 I mean, these people are furious. Anyone of them could be the killer. 503 00:23:04,436 --> 00:23:06,318 Lawrence Schatz wasn't murdered. 504 00:23:06,379 --> 00:23:10,276 He was accidentally, involuntarily manslaughtered. 505 00:23:10,379 --> 00:23:12,430 - I appreciate that. - There ain't no killer. 506 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:20,006 Be that as it may, murder was on someone's mind. 507 00:23:28,891 --> 00:23:31,153 As Chuck catalogued another missing heirloom, 508 00:23:31,319 --> 00:23:35,830 she considered what her aunts had lost and how it could never be returned. 509 00:23:36,224 --> 00:23:37,844 This is depressing. 510 00:23:42,697 --> 00:23:44,367 Did you say "depressing"? 511 00:23:49,622 --> 00:23:52,102 FDA-approved pharmaceutical-grade herbology. 512 00:23:52,133 --> 00:23:53,672 Like a bully for your emotions. 513 00:23:53,779 --> 00:23:55,972 Emotions need to be bullied, or at least groomed. 514 00:23:56,048 --> 00:23:58,958 Indulging depression is like indulging a horrible, willful child. 515 00:23:58,999 --> 00:24:02,087 You allow it to run roughshod, you find yourself catering to its every whim. 516 00:24:02,123 --> 00:24:03,897 So, bully it, and bully it good. 517 00:24:03,912 --> 00:24:07,461 Everyone needs to be bullied sometimes. Do you have any literature? 518 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,411 I have a pamphlet, if you'd like to read that. 519 00:24:09,433 --> 00:24:12,556 Our herbs for depression contain proven ingredients in the proper doses, 520 00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:14,989 manufactured with the strictest of quality control. 521 00:24:15,017 --> 00:24:17,791 "Herbs depression" sounds so much more civil than "antidepressants." 522 00:24:17,818 --> 00:24:19,868 - And with fewer side effects. - Can I have these? 523 00:24:19,905 --> 00:24:21,251 I can't just give it to you. 524 00:24:21,305 --> 00:24:22,713 It's a controlled substance. 525 00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:25,678 But I have a sample pack. 526 00:24:28,608 --> 00:24:30,871 Chuck wasn't thinking of herself. 527 00:24:31,084 --> 00:24:33,014 She was thinking of her aunts. 528 00:24:34,815 --> 00:24:37,187 For the life she was living was not her own 529 00:24:37,265 --> 00:24:41,934 Chuck found a way for her living gift to be the gift that kept giving. 530 00:24:43,109 --> 00:24:44,329 She took responsibility 531 00:24:44,404 --> 00:24:46,625 for Lily and Vivian's hapiness, 532 00:24:46,843 --> 00:24:48,364 and took action. 533 00:25:03,767 --> 00:25:05,766 Even after she was dead and gone, 534 00:25:05,781 --> 00:25:09,256 Chuck found a way to do what she had done all her life... 535 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,982 Care for her aunts. 536 00:25:14,708 --> 00:25:16,001 Oh, you forgot one. 537 00:25:16,039 --> 00:25:17,273 Outside my zone. 538 00:25:17,461 --> 00:25:18,712 It's not so far. 539 00:25:19,097 --> 00:25:21,529 Do you want to be a delivery boy or a delivery man? 540 00:25:21,626 --> 00:25:23,378 Boy. You be a man. 541 00:25:24,669 --> 00:25:26,059 But it's my day off. 542 00:25:26,696 --> 00:25:27,931 And I'm a girl! 543 00:25:28,146 --> 00:25:32,836 In her own way, Olive identified with the plight of the abandoned pie. 544 00:25:33,193 --> 00:25:35,737 It was meant for someone, and without a little effort, 545 00:25:35,758 --> 00:25:38,517 it would never be with the one it was meant to be with. 546 00:25:40,814 --> 00:25:43,097 And tragically for Louis Schatz, 547 00:25:43,147 --> 00:25:45,362 he was meant to be with his brother. 548 00:25:55,525 --> 00:25:57,201 Hey, I didn't he you leave this morning. 549 00:25:57,345 --> 00:25:59,504 I didn't hear you come in last night. 550 00:25:59,901 --> 00:26:01,930 I was having conversations with myself. 551 00:26:02,187 --> 00:26:03,519 What did you guys talk about? 552 00:26:03,584 --> 00:26:05,566 I asked myself, "if I were storming a castle " 553 00:26:05,596 --> 00:26:07,786 to save a sleeping beauty from the jaws of death, 554 00:26:07,986 --> 00:26:10,417 and in the melee, my sword of truth flew swift and sure 555 00:26:10,456 --> 00:26:12,858 and killed an unfortunate outlaw huddled nearby, 556 00:26:13,183 --> 00:26:14,256 how would I feel?" 557 00:26:14,314 --> 00:26:16,430 Did you successfully rescue sleeping beauty? 558 00:26:16,523 --> 00:26:17,733 In this scenario, yeah. 559 00:26:18,222 --> 00:26:19,843 And how would you feel, hypothetically? 560 00:26:19,930 --> 00:26:22,959 I'd feel happy and then bad, and primarily happy, and then 561 00:26:23,075 --> 00:26:25,686 I'd think about it too much, and then I'd feel bad again. 562 00:26:25,742 --> 00:26:28,432 That's kind of how I feel/exactly how I feel. 563 00:26:31,577 --> 00:26:34,180 Well, I don't want you to think I'm a killer. 564 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,207 I don't want to think you're a killer, either. 565 00:26:36,245 --> 00:26:38,124 I want to think of you as prince charming. 566 00:26:39,054 --> 00:26:42,019 I'm not setting a standard for you to leave up to, its just... 567 00:26:42,126 --> 00:26:43,226 That's not good. 568 00:26:48,066 --> 00:26:49,105 Did you...? 569 00:26:49,598 --> 00:26:50,348 No. 570 00:26:51,046 --> 00:26:51,796 No! 571 00:26:51,812 --> 00:26:53,472 As Chuck and the pie maker considered 572 00:26:53,497 --> 00:26:55,480 the dead Schatz brother in the freezer... 573 00:26:57,041 --> 00:26:59,352 Olive snook considered the consequences 574 00:26:59,371 --> 00:27:02,255 of driving several towns away to make a delivery 575 00:27:02,297 --> 00:27:05,735 to an address that was not part of the regular delivery route. 576 00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:30,832 As she drew closer to the front door, 577 00:27:30,906 --> 00:27:33,172 Olive considered the sheer number of crimes 578 00:27:33,310 --> 00:27:34,936 against delivery people 579 00:27:35,005 --> 00:27:36,820 and how they were on the rise. 580 00:27:46,465 --> 00:27:49,707 S.O.S.! O.S.! O.S.! S.O.S.! 581 00:27:50,020 --> 00:27:52,260 This pie smells delicious. 582 00:27:58,316 --> 00:28:01,556 Pies for breakfast always remind me of mother. 583 00:28:01,844 --> 00:28:03,908 Vermouth always reminds me of mother. 584 00:28:04,180 --> 00:28:06,880 Why are we having pie, and who the hell are you? 585 00:28:07,005 --> 00:28:08,031 Forgive Lily. 586 00:28:08,089 --> 00:28:10,946 The last time had visitors, there was a home invasion. 587 00:28:11,109 --> 00:28:12,704 That was all over the evening news. 588 00:28:13,252 --> 00:28:15,936 You're Darling Mermaid Darlings Vivian and Lily Charles. 589 00:28:16,168 --> 00:28:18,558 I saw you perform at the Callum County Country Fair 590 00:28:18,602 --> 00:28:20,288 when I was a little girl. 591 00:28:22,673 --> 00:28:24,719 Olive is in the pie industry. 592 00:28:25,605 --> 00:28:26,523 Really? 593 00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:29,668 Someone has made you the happy recipients of a pie from the pie hole, 594 00:28:29,831 --> 00:28:31,176 as in "shut your." 595 00:28:31,485 --> 00:28:34,138 Or, in this case, "open your", 'cause it's real good. 596 00:28:34,947 --> 00:28:36,315 The pie hole... I like it. 597 00:28:36,569 --> 00:28:37,569 It's provocative. 598 00:28:38,565 --> 00:28:41,092 Well, you must love pie to make it your life's work. 599 00:28:41,123 --> 00:28:42,488 Lots to love at the pie hole. 600 00:28:42,503 --> 00:28:44,164 There's gruy�re baked into the crust. 601 00:28:44,208 --> 00:28:45,741 I didn't even know we did that. 602 00:28:45,772 --> 00:28:47,449 Charlotte loved gruyre. 603 00:28:47,492 --> 00:28:49,344 We recently lost our niece... 604 00:28:49,426 --> 00:28:51,052 lonely tourist Charlotte Charles. 605 00:28:51,096 --> 00:28:52,358 It's all over the news. 606 00:28:52,407 --> 00:28:55,379 I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you're sick of hearing it. 607 00:28:55,435 --> 00:28:57,268 I don't want to beat a sentiment to d... 608 00:29:00,300 --> 00:29:02,209 I'm so sorry for your loss. 609 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,209 This has to be from that young man 610 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,136 who lived next door when Charlotte was a girl. 611 00:29:07,336 --> 00:29:09,338 He had a filthy mind as a child. 612 00:29:09,742 --> 00:29:11,525 He gave Charlotte a beaver T-shirt 613 00:29:11,769 --> 00:29:12,951 for her 8th birthday. 614 00:29:13,871 --> 00:29:15,980 - What did we call him? - "Beaver boy." 615 00:29:16,010 --> 00:29:17,010 Beaver boy. 616 00:29:17,317 --> 00:29:19,253 Seems like he grew up to be a nice young man. 617 00:29:19,316 --> 00:29:21,405 Beaver boy did say he was a pie maker. 618 00:29:21,449 --> 00:29:23,270 I imagine he gives lots of people pie. 619 00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:25,128 Beaver boy's a pie maker? 620 00:29:25,359 --> 00:29:27,553 Who was childhood sweetheart with your niece, 621 00:29:27,609 --> 00:29:29,486 lonely tourist Charlotte Charles... 622 00:29:29,649 --> 00:29:30,769 who is dead? 623 00:29:31,707 --> 00:29:32,707 Presently? 624 00:29:34,165 --> 00:29:36,637 The truth about the dead girl who wasn't dead 625 00:29:36,707 --> 00:29:38,352 vibrated on Olive's tongue. 626 00:29:38,415 --> 00:29:41,268 She dare not let it out, so she took another bite. 627 00:29:44,339 --> 00:29:46,948 Not realizing Louis Schatz was dead and wedged 628 00:29:46,992 --> 00:29:49,062 between chilling dough and yesterday's eggs, 629 00:29:49,294 --> 00:29:52,453 Emerson Cod prepared to monitor every move he made, 630 00:29:52,685 --> 00:29:54,856 in hopes of finding buried treasure. 631 00:29:56,834 --> 00:29:59,008 - Hi... one of the Schatz brothers... - It's Louis. 632 00:29:59,064 --> 00:30:01,322 Louis is in my freezer, I'm not sure how he got there, 633 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,402 because it doesn't look like it was his own doing, 634 00:30:03,418 --> 00:30:05,092 - he's dead and all. - You being set up. 635 00:30:05,133 --> 00:30:06,431 He said we're being set up. 636 00:30:06,459 --> 00:30:07,873 Why would anyone want to set us up? 637 00:30:07,923 --> 00:30:09,828 No, you being set up. 638 00:30:09,907 --> 00:30:12,309 - Why would anyone want to set me up? - Hell if I know. 639 00:30:12,384 --> 00:30:14,608 Maybe they figure, since you killed the other one... 640 00:30:14,657 --> 00:30:16,311 Have I been exposed? Does somebody know? 641 00:30:16,328 --> 00:30:17,725 Somebody knows something, 642 00:30:17,775 --> 00:30:20,214 and that somebody probably already called the police. 643 00:30:21,651 --> 00:30:22,401 Hey... 644 00:30:23,046 --> 00:30:24,285 the police are here. 645 00:30:35,727 --> 00:30:37,347 Hi. You need to follow us. 646 00:30:37,398 --> 00:30:39,295 - Where're we going? - You're going to heaven. 647 00:30:39,311 --> 00:30:40,061 I got in? 648 00:30:40,077 --> 00:30:42,003 Yeah and heaven's closing in like five minutes. 649 00:30:42,030 --> 00:30:44,520 - Or one, actually. - Heaven's closing in like one minute. 650 00:30:58,405 --> 00:31:00,282 Hey, Emerson, you going to heaven, too? 651 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:01,751 Yeah, we all going to heaven. 652 00:31:01,766 --> 00:31:03,511 That's so weird. We died at the same time. 653 00:31:04,083 --> 00:31:05,737 - The rapture. - No way. 654 00:31:05,818 --> 00:31:06,818 Yes way. 655 00:31:08,293 --> 00:31:09,296 Is Larry here? 656 00:31:09,385 --> 00:31:10,786 Yeah, he told us to ask you 657 00:31:10,824 --> 00:31:13,445 what you did with all that stuff you stole off those dead folks. 658 00:31:13,495 --> 00:31:15,705 Yeah, but first, you got to tell us who killed you. 659 00:31:15,736 --> 00:31:18,139 - Heaven would want know. - I choked on a piece of tongue. 660 00:31:18,258 --> 00:31:19,734 Yours or somebody else's? 661 00:31:20,588 --> 00:31:23,522 In this instance, the tongue belonged to a cow. 662 00:31:23,986 --> 00:31:26,888 Although Louis Schatz had been limiting his portions, 663 00:31:26,963 --> 00:31:29,825 they weren't so small they couldn't block his windpipe 664 00:31:29,863 --> 00:31:32,309 when he was confronted by an angry customer. 665 00:31:36,431 --> 00:31:38,278 He said something about a civil war heirloom. 666 00:31:38,295 --> 00:31:39,713 Then I lost consciousness. 667 00:31:40,316 --> 00:31:42,265 I usually cough it up before I pass out. 668 00:31:42,699 --> 00:31:45,015 - 5 seconds. - There's no seat belts in this car. 669 00:31:45,159 --> 00:31:46,260 Wait! 670 00:31:46,329 --> 00:31:49,313 What did you do with all that stuff you stole off those dead... Folk? 671 00:31:50,064 --> 00:31:51,064 Sorry. 672 00:31:51,703 --> 00:31:53,116 What are we gonna do with the body? 673 00:31:53,138 --> 00:31:55,144 We're gonna put Schatz back exactly where he died 674 00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:57,413 and show whoever this sucker was who tried to frame you 675 00:31:57,432 --> 00:31:58,868 how a sucker gets framed. 676 00:31:59,602 --> 00:32:01,745 - We don't know who this sucker is. - Yes, we do... 677 00:32:01,782 --> 00:32:02,833 Wilfred Woodruff. 678 00:32:03,614 --> 00:32:05,453 In Chuck's cataloging of heirlooms 679 00:32:05,497 --> 00:32:07,599 feared stolen by professionals, 680 00:32:07,649 --> 00:32:10,679 she came across a particularly angry death threat 681 00:32:10,773 --> 00:32:12,919 written by one Wilfred Woodruff. 682 00:32:14,030 --> 00:32:16,671 Mr. Woodruff claimed a civil war heirloom, 683 00:32:16,721 --> 00:32:18,998 supposedly buried with his grandfather, 684 00:32:19,209 --> 00:32:22,343 was offered in an online auction, which was traced back 685 00:32:22,662 --> 00:32:23,964 to the brothers Schatz. 686 00:32:24,403 --> 00:32:26,557 Mr. Woodruff clearly stated in writing 687 00:32:26,594 --> 00:32:29,378 that punishment for insulting the Woodruff family honor 688 00:32:29,416 --> 00:32:30,617 in such a way... 689 00:32:30,717 --> 00:32:31,717 was death. 690 00:32:40,438 --> 00:32:41,721 It's all locked up. 691 00:32:41,821 --> 00:32:42,571 What? 692 00:32:51,460 --> 00:32:53,650 - I ain't gonna fit. - You'll fit. 693 00:32:53,757 --> 00:32:55,164 There's plenty of room. 694 00:33:01,770 --> 00:33:03,797 The window looked bigger from up there. 695 00:33:12,318 --> 00:33:13,469 Are you stuck? 696 00:33:13,732 --> 00:33:14,482 No. 697 00:33:14,590 --> 00:33:16,887 Yes, you are. You're like winnie-the-pooh. 698 00:33:16,962 --> 00:33:18,251 Give me your paws, pooh. 699 00:33:27,309 --> 00:33:28,761 You people stop pulling me! 700 00:33:37,353 --> 00:33:38,639 This isn't good at all. 701 00:33:41,034 --> 00:33:44,094 What part of "do not resuscite" don't you people understand? 702 00:33:48,951 --> 00:33:50,640 Honey, did you turn off the gas? 703 00:34:11,827 --> 00:34:13,174 Wilfred Woodruff? 704 00:34:14,774 --> 00:34:17,228 The pie maker considered the choices he made 705 00:34:17,266 --> 00:34:19,211 that brought him to this very moment, 706 00:34:19,326 --> 00:34:21,703 a moment that may be his last. 707 00:34:23,401 --> 00:34:26,485 The irony of being struck down by the man who murdered 708 00:34:26,535 --> 00:34:29,939 the twin of the man he killed was not lost on the pie maker. 709 00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:31,978 Also not lost... His agility. 710 00:34:33,521 --> 00:34:34,635 Oh, my god! 711 00:34:39,058 --> 00:34:40,261 What's going on in there?! 712 00:34:40,298 --> 00:34:41,796 Wilfred Woodruff found his sword! 713 00:34:41,818 --> 00:34:44,443 I propose to fight it out on this line if it takes all summer. 714 00:34:44,768 --> 00:34:45,879 What line? It's autumn. 715 00:34:46,039 --> 00:34:48,085 Ulysses S. Grant said that... 716 00:34:48,195 --> 00:34:51,181 Not all of it, just the last part. Bad-luck missionary ridge... 717 00:34:51,424 --> 00:34:53,260 My great-great-great-great-grandpappy 718 00:34:53,323 --> 00:34:55,481 fought proudly against him with this sword. 719 00:34:55,622 --> 00:34:56,811 Are you adopted? 720 00:34:57,070 --> 00:34:59,230 Wilfred Woodruff was not adopted. 721 00:35:00,031 --> 00:35:02,715 On a hot day in the summer of 1863, 722 00:35:02,977 --> 00:35:05,982 Wilfred Woodruff's great-great-great-great-grandfather, 723 00:35:06,097 --> 00:35:09,983 Phan Bing Wu, was laying track for the Central Pacific Railroad. 724 00:35:11,071 --> 00:35:13,639 The decision was made to find a better life. 725 00:35:13,801 --> 00:35:17,924 As the civil war was still raging, the other men chose to go northwest. 726 00:35:19,281 --> 00:35:22,591 Why Phan Bing Wu chose to run southeast is not known. 727 00:35:22,998 --> 00:35:25,367 Some said it was the hand of destiny. 728 00:35:25,517 --> 00:35:27,501 Others felt it was heatstroke. 729 00:35:28,615 --> 00:35:31,173 Eventually, Phan Bing was forced to steal 730 00:35:31,305 --> 00:35:33,463 the clothes off a former soldier. 731 00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:39,657 Returning to his journey, he soon realized he was not alone. 732 00:35:42,126 --> 00:35:43,935 Phan Bing immediately realized 733 00:35:44,048 --> 00:35:46,669 he did not belong in this place at this time. 734 00:35:47,697 --> 00:35:51,000 But this time and place seemed more than happy to have him. 735 00:35:52,245 --> 00:35:55,611 Decorated for his bravery in the battle of missionary ridge 736 00:35:55,732 --> 00:35:57,924 and the second battle of Murfreesboro, 737 00:35:58,136 --> 00:36:00,878 Phan Bing went on to found his own branch of... 738 00:36:01,184 --> 00:36:02,974 the Woodruff family tree. 739 00:36:20,705 --> 00:36:22,876 This sword was supposed to be buried with my grandpa. 740 00:36:22,913 --> 00:36:24,796 Instead, it shows up in some online auction, 741 00:36:24,853 --> 00:36:26,346 at which... I take umbrage! 742 00:36:30,046 --> 00:36:32,659 Remember, mind over matter makes pooh unfatter. 743 00:36:32,872 --> 00:36:34,200 I might be stuck... 744 00:36:34,319 --> 00:36:36,101 but I can still reach my gun. 745 00:36:41,084 --> 00:36:42,129 Now you should know 746 00:36:42,148 --> 00:36:43,994 that I was thrice named alternate swordmaster 747 00:36:44,019 --> 00:36:46,907 at the southern area regional volunteer infantry re-enactment regiment. 748 00:36:48,616 --> 00:36:50,216 I wanted to be a Jedi. 749 00:36:57,627 --> 00:37:00,309 You killed Louis Schatz and stuffed him in my freezer. 750 00:37:00,372 --> 00:37:01,636 I put food in there! 751 00:37:01,698 --> 00:37:03,300 It wasn't my fault, it just happened. 752 00:37:03,315 --> 00:37:04,946 Not like you killed Lawrence Schatz. 753 00:37:04,962 --> 00:37:05,962 Did not! 754 00:37:10,593 --> 00:37:12,539 - I saw you. - You didn't see squat. 755 00:37:12,788 --> 00:37:14,964 Wilfred Woodruff saw more than squat 756 00:37:15,033 --> 00:37:16,628 when he approached Lawrence Schatz 757 00:37:16,660 --> 00:37:19,782 about his great-great- great-great-grandfather's sword. 758 00:37:20,464 --> 00:37:24,330 He saw the pie maker fleeing the scene of Lawrence Schatz's murder. 759 00:37:28,284 --> 00:37:29,529 I didn't touch Lawrence Schatz, 760 00:37:29,557 --> 00:37:31,323 not 'till after he died, and in his coffin. 761 00:37:31,342 --> 00:37:32,650 I didn't touch Louis Schatz, 762 00:37:32,706 --> 00:37:35,572 not until after he died and I rolled him onto a dolly truck. 763 00:37:39,515 --> 00:37:42,161 - All because you wrote a nasty letter? - I wrote a death threat. 764 00:37:42,182 --> 00:37:43,484 Then someone died. 765 00:37:43,515 --> 00:37:45,692 That has a way of coming back to haunt you. 766 00:37:49,179 --> 00:37:51,626 Unless you frame someone for murder, you ass! 767 00:37:51,688 --> 00:37:53,002 I had no choice. 768 00:37:57,596 --> 00:37:59,964 Of course you did. Everything we do is a choice. 769 00:37:59,990 --> 00:38:02,919 Oatmeal or cereal, highway or side streets, kiss her or keep her? 770 00:38:02,949 --> 00:38:05,040 We make choices, and we live with the consequences. 771 00:38:05,362 --> 00:38:07,075 If someone gets hurt along the way, 772 00:38:07,139 --> 00:38:09,656 we ask for forgiveness. It's the best anyone can do. 773 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,206 I can do better! 774 00:38:21,147 --> 00:38:21,897 Ned? 775 00:38:40,805 --> 00:38:42,607 Help! Kick, pooh, kick! 776 00:38:45,295 --> 00:38:46,552 At that very moment, 777 00:38:46,753 --> 00:38:48,417 Chuck saw the pie maker, 778 00:38:48,805 --> 00:38:50,744 perhaps not as he really was... 779 00:38:51,107 --> 00:38:53,341 but as he would always appear to her... 780 00:38:54,053 --> 00:38:55,529 her prince charming. 781 00:39:11,191 --> 00:39:12,424 Olive Snook's blood 782 00:39:12,530 --> 00:39:14,939 stirred with revelation and opportunity. 783 00:39:15,233 --> 00:39:19,018 She could see Chuck had faked her death for some nefarious purpose. 784 00:39:19,140 --> 00:39:20,530 I can smell trouble on her 785 00:39:20,574 --> 00:39:23,477 like she stepped in it and it's stuck to her heel. 786 00:39:23,546 --> 00:39:24,997 What she couldn't see 787 00:39:25,035 --> 00:39:27,807 was the distant glimmer of her own prince charming. 788 00:39:28,519 --> 00:39:30,377 The broken espresso machine, 789 00:39:30,615 --> 00:39:33,681 sitting there, being pretty, with no one to touch it, 790 00:39:33,817 --> 00:39:35,058 had been touched... 791 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,279 filled with water, and packed with coffee grounds. 792 00:39:41,698 --> 00:39:44,989 For the time being, the romantic gesture was lost on Olive. 793 00:39:45,439 --> 00:39:47,592 Her espresso was much too bitter, 794 00:39:47,986 --> 00:39:50,232 but this would not be her last cup. 795 00:39:51,037 --> 00:39:53,195 Not bitter at all was Emerson Cod. 796 00:39:53,502 --> 00:39:55,738 He learned a lesson from the brothers Schatz. 797 00:39:55,904 --> 00:39:57,650 It wasn't what he had gained, 798 00:39:57,712 --> 00:39:59,592 it was what he wanted to lose. 799 00:39:59,642 --> 00:40:01,896 he didn't want to lead the life they led... 800 00:40:02,033 --> 00:40:05,274 Not to say he no longer wanted to make a living off the dead. 801 00:40:05,424 --> 00:40:06,601 He made a decision 802 00:40:06,683 --> 00:40:10,061 while wedged in the window that day never to be wedged again. 803 00:40:17,163 --> 00:40:18,389 At that same moment, 804 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,962 Lily and Vivian Charles were enjoying a wedge of happiness 805 00:40:22,062 --> 00:40:24,289 with gruy�re baked into the crust. 806 00:40:28,087 --> 00:40:29,970 Woodruff was charged today for his involvement 807 00:40:30,001 --> 00:40:31,246 in the death of Louis Schatz... 808 00:40:31,290 --> 00:40:33,693 A key player in the grave-robbing scandal. 809 00:40:33,868 --> 00:40:36,597 The gift of life Chuck had been given was, indeed, 810 00:40:36,628 --> 00:40:38,310 the gift that kept giving. 811 00:40:38,558 --> 00:40:41,280 She went about matching hate mail with heirlooms 812 00:40:41,367 --> 00:40:43,919 and regifting them to their rightful heirs, 813 00:40:44,420 --> 00:40:47,266 like she had been regifted to the pie maker. 814 00:40:49,024 --> 00:40:50,382 I would do it again. 815 00:40:51,481 --> 00:40:53,002 I think it's nice the way it is. 816 00:40:53,696 --> 00:40:54,591 No. 817 00:40:55,403 --> 00:40:57,912 I made a choice, and I would do it again. 818 00:40:57,949 --> 00:40:58,699 I... 819 00:40:58,722 --> 00:41:00,043 let Lawrence Schatz die, 820 00:41:00,087 --> 00:41:01,989 and if I was faced with that choice right now, 821 00:41:02,020 --> 00:41:03,031 I'd make the same choice. 822 00:41:03,046 --> 00:41:05,668 You could put me in a loop, I'd make the same choice every time. 823 00:41:05,695 --> 00:41:08,945 That's how confident I am that it was the right choice for me to make. 824 00:41:09,284 --> 00:41:11,936 I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person, but... 825 00:41:14,093 --> 00:41:15,901 I'm not sorry that you're alive. 826 00:41:16,781 --> 00:41:18,108 I like that you made that choice, 827 00:41:18,123 --> 00:41:19,901 and the fact that you did it on purpose... 828 00:41:20,953 --> 00:41:23,794 Well, it makes it far more fun than if you did it by accident. 829 00:41:29,592 --> 00:41:32,413 I'm gonna see if I've got some plastic wrap. 830 00:41:32,888 --> 00:41:34,386 Capture: swsub.com 831 00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:36,335 Sync: �AkaZab� and Toupack 832 00:41:36,631 --> 00:41:38,398 www.All-about-Subs.fr