1
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Hello, everybody. Hello. Thank you.

2
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Hello!

3
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Hello and welcome
to a Top Gear special,

4
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which tonight comes to you
from South America.

5
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Yeah. The brief was simple. Each
of us would be given a pittance.

6
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And we were told we could
<font color="

7
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from a second-hand car
website in Bolivia.

8
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Yeah. And the only bit of advice
we got, rather worryingly,

9
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was that it would be best if we
chose a car with four-wheel drive.

10
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We were then told we would
<font color="

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somewhere around here in
a place called Spidertown,

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right in the middle
of the Amazon Rainforest.

13
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These are the views that
greeted us from our helicopter.

14
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Except they're not,

15
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because the helicopter
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That meant we had to
borrow these pictures

17
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from Bruce Parry's programme...

18
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..and go to the start
point in a boat...

19
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utterly bewildered by everything.

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Look at that purple tree!
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No, the purple tree's the best. No!
The butterfly was the size of a bat.

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Another crocodile over there.

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It's not a crocodile,
it's a lump of wood.

24
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Bird! Bird!

25
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<font color="

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very close. Perhaps we're on it!

27
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No, we'd see a big dotted line.

28
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'And we weren't the only
fish out of water.'

29
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It jumped in the boat!
It jumped in the boat!

30
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In the boat!
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31
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Ha-ha! Is that a piranha?

32
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It's not a piranha,
they're long and thin.

33
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They're not! No, they're not!

34
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They are! They're short and fat!

35
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Oh, that's sharks.

36
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<font color="
three worst explorers in history

37
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'on a bank,
in the middle of nowhere...

38
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'and left.'

39
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Have we just been abandoned here
to die? Whoa-whoa! What is it, what?

40
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Are those zips?! Well,
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41
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You can unzip the bottoms?! Yes!

42
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I'm sorry, on the kit front, chaps...
James, what's all this?

43
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This is my belt of many things.
What is that? Don't touch it.

44
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That's a dental healthcare kit.
<font color="

45
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That is a shoe-polishing kit.

46
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BOTH: What?!

47
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A shoe-polishing kit! Thank God
for that(!) If we get hungry,

48
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we can eat his Kiwi boot polish!

49
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Basically, what you've done is buy a
<font color="

50
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your belt... Don't touch it.

51
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'Hammond then revealed
a little secret.'

52
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So all these insects, where are they?

53
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Why, are you frightened of insects?

54
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<font color="

55
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Don't mess about. Seriously,
I am. It's a phobia.

56
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It's like you and heights.

57
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It's not you're scared of
falling off, it's a phobia.

58
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You are scared of heights.
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59
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I just don't... What's yours? Phobia?

60
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Manual labour, you know that.

61
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That's not a phobia,
that's bone idleness.

62
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Rubbish! That's not a clinical
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'Since we didn't know what to do,
we just sat down and did nothing.'

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I'm sure there's spiders in here,
there will be. Shh.

65
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What?

66
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Is that... Uh-oh.
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Stop playing ethnic tunes. Boys...

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Cars.

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'Plainly, there had been
a terrible mix-up

70
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'because one of the cars
on the raft was a little Suzuki.

71
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'None of us would
have been that daft.

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James was with us.'

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1.3 litre... 1.3 litre!
..Wine bar specials.

74
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Famous for being able to stay
on their own four wheels...

75
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No, no, no. Falling over.

76
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I presume then the Land Cruiser,
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77
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Yes, it is. Correct choice,
everyone will agree.

78
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And you have, if my eyes are not
deceiving me, a Range Rover.

79
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The best 4x4, by far, as we know.

80
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I had one of those. Yeah, classic.
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81
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Did yours ever...work? No.

82
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How is that raft steering itself?

83
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There's a little boat
behind it, look.

84
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'The driver of the little boat pushed
the raft vaguely near the bank...'

85
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don't do that, we need to get it...

86
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'..and then went home.'

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Is that him just gone? Yep.

88
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Oi! You haven't parked it!

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'We tried to pull the raft nearer to
the bank but it was very difficult.'

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<font color="

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'So we gave up.'

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That's it, lads.
Up the gang plank.

93
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Ow! There's a thing there.

94
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We are good. It's like literally

95
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being with Livingstone... Yeah.

96
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..and...

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<font color="

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Do you want a hand up? Help!
Probably quite painful!

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It was. Don't worry, I'm all right.

100
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'Eventually, even
Indiana Clarkson was onboard

101
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'so we could get our first look
at what we'd bought

102
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<font color="

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Notoriously long-lived,
sturdy, reliable, small, agile.

104
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What does it say in the advert
in the Bolivian Auto Trader?

105
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I'll tell you what it did show in
the picture. That it was blue.

106
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THEY LAUGH

107
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four tyres would be pumped up?

108
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No.

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HE LAUGHS

110
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Oh, bloody hell.

111
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We did buy these long distance.

112
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'The only thing saggier than
my tyre was Hammond's roof.

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It wasn't always
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No, it's been converted
to a convertible.

115
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It's been converted by someone
who is A, of Spanish descent

116
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and B, a communist.

117
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It's a tasty car all round.
I'm very pleased.

118
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I like the see-through...

119
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it's here and there's no winder.

120
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I don't need one, it's hot.

121
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'To demonstrate what fools
the others had been,

122
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'I showed them the beating heart

123
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of my mighty Ranger Rover.'

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Behold, gentlemen,
<font color="

125
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3.9, yeah? 3.9. They had injection,
didn't they, Hammond, the 3.9?

126
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Yes. All of them were fuel-injected.

127
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What are those on top?

128
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I believe they're carburettors.
<font color="

129
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BLEEP. They ARE carburettors.
They are carburettors, yeah.

130
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That can't be a 3.9, mate,
that's a 3.5!

131
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It said in the advert is was a 3.9!

132
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It said mine was blue.

133
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OK, so there's some issues.

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the bonnet a lot. I won't.

135
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You will! That's what killed these
off, globally. Why does everywhere,

136
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all over the world, anywhere
difficult and inhospitable
use a Toyota Land Cruiser?

137
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<font color="

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she'll make a bee-line
for me in this.

139
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Yeah, OK.

140
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'We could've continued arguing,
but we had to leap ashore...'

141
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'Well, come on, then.'

142
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'..Because our challenge
had arrived.'

143
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<font color="

144
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OK. It says, "You are in Bolivia.

145
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"And you will drive to the Pacific
Ocean, which is 1,000 miles away."

146
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So we have to go 1,000 miles.
There's a jungle in the way.

147
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And the jungle would
just be the start of it,

148
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to negotiate active volcanoes,

149
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utterly lifeless deserts and
perilous mountain passes.

150
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But before all that, we had
to get our cars off the raft.

151
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Which, as you can plainly see,
would not be easy.

152
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<font color="

153
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Oh, come on!

154
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'Trying to move the raft
soon led to a problem.'

155
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Holy moly!

156
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I am sinking.

157
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Yeah. It's getting deeper!
Pull yourself out.

158
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I cannot pull myself out.
<font color="

159
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you go in deeper. I know!

160
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That's brilliant! Oh, God, no.

161
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THEY LAUGH

162
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As I sank into the ooze,

163
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my colleagues became
increasingly concerned.

164
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<font color="
THEY LAUGH

165
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Go and get a rope or something,
just to tie around my waist.

166
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All right, we'll get something.

167
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'Eventually, and rather reluctantly,

168
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'they decided to pull me out
with my Range Rover.'

169
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<font color="
What are you bloody doing?

170
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You want a proper knot,
don't you? No!

171
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Just any old knot.

172
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Will it start?

173
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ENGINE STALLS

174
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Oh.

175
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ENGINE STALLS

176
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<font color="

177
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You brought the wrong car.

178
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ENGINE STARTS

179
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Ah-ha-ha-ha!

180
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Backwards!

181
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Pull. Pull.

182
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You coming up? Yes! Oh, yes!

183
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Ow! Say when.

184
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,680
<font color="

185
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:06,120
Ow, my arm parts.
Is it loose enough?

186
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,800
Yes. Stop, stop, stop.

187
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,160
Stop. So, as we can see,
my car's best.

188
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,280
Well, it didn't let you down there,
<font color="

189
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'Trying to move the raft
had resulted in nothing more

190
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,160
'than some muddy tide-marks
on my trousers.'

191
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,160
My jeans are ruined!

192
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:26,680
And so, with half the day gone,
we had to come up with a new plan.

193
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:30,320
<font color="
when a submarine was grounded?

194
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,840
When it had hit the bottom?

195
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:36,800
They used to get the crew to run
backwards and forwards and it would

196
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:36,800
sort of shuffle it along.

197
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,160
Are you suggesting
we run backwards and forwards?

198
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,320
<font color="

199
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,520
If we go right
to the back of the boat,

200
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,280
that weighs the back down
and lifts the front up.

201
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:50,360
We then charge forward. The act of
doing that will shuffle the boat

202
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,920
nearer to that bank.

203
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,920
That's a good idea!

204
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,560
<font color="
was back our cars up a bit.'

205
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,640
Oh, no. Hammond!
Has anybody got any jump leads?

206
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,920
Seriously? You're joking.
It won't start.

207
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,480
Just want to get this
completely clear again.

208
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:12,160
<font color="
well. Already saved a man's life.

209
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:14,920
Land Cruiser - broken down.

210
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:20,000
Oh, smoke! Smoke, smoke, quite a lot
of smoke. Something's on fire!

211
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,600
The starter motor's burn out.

212
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,880
'Despite using the
correct technique,

213
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,280
<font color="
get his car going.'

214
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:28,520
It's on fire again!

215
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:33,080
And so, with the sun sinking,
I offered to help.

216
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,040
Why don't we simply attach it
to the back of the Range Rover

217
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,560
and I'll you a pull from here?

218
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:41,720
<font color="
but, yeah, it's... All right!

219
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,760
What's that noise?

220
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:50,200
Insects! Massive insects.
Millions of them.

221
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,040
Just hurry up, quickly!
All right, move forwards.

222
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Mind your head!

223
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,440
<font color="

224
00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,200
'for the most ambitious
jump-start in history.'

225
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,280
And...stop.

226
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:07,160
Three, two, one, go!

227
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,880
Sorry! What did you do that for?!

228
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,000
My breaks aren't very good!
Did it work? No.

229
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,480
<font color="

230
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,760
What happened? Nothing.

231
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,120
And...stop.

232
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:34,360
Three, two, one, go.

233
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,480
Try again! That's the good thing

234
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,480
about Range Rovers,

235
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,880
they can do this all night.

236
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:46,160
Yes, yes. When this thing starts,
it'll brilliant.

237
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,680
<font color="
revealed our progress.'

238
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:58,440
Sitrep... Everything we tried
in the night didn't work.

239
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,560
But we have found peanuts.

240
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:04,800
'Rather embarrassingly,
James then discovered something.'

241
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,480
These planks are longer
<font color="
falling down constantly.

242
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,680
If you get in here and
grab the other end...

243
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,960
Are they long enough to...?

244
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,960
Two together will.

245
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:19,200
'Soon, we had a ramp and our first
car was ready to disembark.'

246
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,600
<font color="

247
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,440
Let's see his back wheels on.

248
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,440
Don't stand there.

249
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,080
Do you want us to help you?
You're all right.

250
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,720
You're all right this side.

251
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,520
You're all right.

252
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,240
Yes!

253
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:39,240
<font color="
four-wheel drive, you half-wit.

254
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,920
Well, why are the front wheels
not doing anything?

255
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,440
Don't tell me they don't work.
Try again! Say when...

256
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,640
<font color="

257
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,240
That's stuck now.

258
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:53,160
'The whole weight of James'
three-wheel drive Suzuki

259
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,600
'was resting on our ramp.

260
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,880
'So we had to build another one.'

261
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,040
You're all right. Right.

262
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,320
<font color="
don't let me down.

263
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,200
To the left.

264
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,600
Poo is coming out.

265
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,880
Here we go!

266
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:21,120
Now that's what I call
four-wheel drive!

267
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,160
Having rescued a man from the ooze,

268
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:28,200
the mighty Range Rover would now
<font color="

269
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,040
There's only an ounce to pull.

270
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,360
Please be gentle with this,
Jeremy, and not a yob.

271
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,480
Power!

272
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,680
Got him. Stop, stop, stop!

273
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,280
Yes, that's it!

274
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,440
What a pillock!

275
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,080
'I then lined up
<font color="

276
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,800
'powerless Toyota down the ramp.'

277
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,320
We were supposed to be
averaging 100 miles a day.

278
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,680
So far, we've done, well,
I've done, about 20 feet.

279
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:03,640
Ready?

280
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,680
No. Right, he's ready. Gently.

281
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,400
<font color="

282
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,520
Go.

283
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,560
Ha, ha, ha!

284
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,280
'Finally, we were all off the raft.

285
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:31,320
'And, as a reward, the producers
gave us a box of things

286
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,680
'to help us survive
the perils that lay ahead.'

287
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,640
Chainsaw. That's good, that's useful.

288
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,760
<font color="
that is, that's a winch.

289
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,440
Some rubber tubing.

290
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:47,560
Durex. Condoms? Vaseline.

291
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,120
Tampax...and...

292
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,880
Viagra. I know we're gonna
be in the jungle together,

293
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,160
<font color="
kind of party are they planning?

294
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,720
'We loaded up
the Ann Summers box...'

295
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,640
'..jump started Hammond's car...'

296
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,360
Yee-ha! Is that working?
Now you're gonna see!

297
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,360
<font color="

298
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,440
'..and got cracking.'

299
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,240
'The jungle was a worthy adversary.'

300
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,400
Oh!

301
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,000
'But, for hour after hour,
we battled our way through.'

302
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,800
Do you want more?

303
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,400
This is the marker!

304
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,920
<font color="

305
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,200
Guys...I left my phone down
by the river.

306
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,640
Oh, God.

307
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,240
Dipstick. I'm going
to have to go and get it.

308
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,560
Just wait here, I'll go get it.

309
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:00,640
Take care.

310
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:06,080
<font color="
we are making progress.

311
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,320
Hammond! Yeah?

312
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,920
Did I leave it on that rock?

313
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:15,120
No, it was on the stump I tied
the raft too. Just by the rock.

314
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,480
OK, got it! OK.

315
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,760
<font color="

316
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,560
Now we're making progress,
let's keep up the momentum.

317
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,440
'Soon, we found a logging track

318
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,000
'where finally we could
get to know our cars.'

319
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,560
Time to find out what
<font color="

320
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:35,760
All these dials in the middle
made by Smiths - so, no.

321
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,840
Speedo, no.

322
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,880
The Range Rover was designed by
a man called Charles Spencer-King,

323
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,200
who was, no question, a genius.

324
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:50,400
Unfortunately, it was
<font color="

325
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:54,360
just "that'll do".
Everything was "that'll do".

326
00:16:54,360 --> 00:17:00,680
An UNBELIEVABLE piece of design,
ruined by minkies.

327
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,200
That said, however,

328
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:07,440
I seem to have bought the only 1980s
Range Rover in the world that works.

329
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:15,120
<font color="

330
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:15,120
legendarily reliable and bulletproof,

331
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,280
this one isn't.

332
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:22,120
Oil pressure gauge, not working.
Temperature gauge, not working.

333
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:24,400
Fuel gauge...dunno.

334
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,560
Brakes not working.

335
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,520
That makes this one more special.

336
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:33,520
<font color="

337
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:33,520
Land Cruiser in the world.

338
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:37,480
And it is unique and therefore
probably priceless.

339
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,800
'Sure, my Suzuki only
had three-wheel drive,

340
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,160
'but I wasn't going to let that
tiny detail spoil the day.'

341
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,720
<font color="
this Suzuki and thinking,

342
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:55,320
"It's small and comical, it's a toy
off-road, it's for hairdressers,"

343
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:59,320
And all the rest of it, but I'll
tell you what it is - it's plucky.

344
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,440
It's a bit like Finland in the war.

345
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,680
Look at Jeremy's Range Rover
<font color="

346
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,680
this great, heavy beast of burden.

347
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,320
this is like a little mountain goat,
it just skips along. 'May?'

348
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,080
Talk of the devil. Hello.

349
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,080
Just to let you know, one of your
rear lights is hanging off,

350
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:19,320
<font color="
with a small Phillips on my belt.

351
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:23,320
The voice there of the missing
member of Van Halen.

352
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,920
'Darkness fell,
but the temperature didn't.'

353
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:40,400
How can it be this hot at midnight?
How's that possible?

354
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:44,640
<font color="
about than the heat.'

355
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,840
Ow! What the BLEEP is that?

356
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:51,560
There's something in here
squeaking at me, I'm... Oh, ho!

357
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,760
Bleurgh! Ah!

358
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,280
Oh! OH! What is that?!

359
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,160
Oh! BLEEP.

360
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,960
I can't stand that! I can't stand
<font color="

361
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,280
'Blashford-Hammond insisted
we made camp,

362
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,520
'where, to cheer him up,
I read him some bedtime stories.'

363
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,280
This is a book about
all the creatures

364
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:18,200
that live in the rainforest
<font color="

365
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,640
Would you like to hear about the...

366
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,120
Brazilian Wandering Spider?

367
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,160
Not really, no.

368
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,200
"Causes around five human
fatalities a year...

369
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,120
"lives on the forest floor."

370
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:35,160
SCREECHING

371
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,920
What is that?

372
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,680
<font color="
What's it called? Wandering Spider.

373
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,280
Ooh, the botfly.
Now, this is a marvellous thing.

374
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,720
"The botfly cannot
sting a human directly,

375
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,440
"but catches smaller insects,

376
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,280
"lays its larvae upon them
<font color="

377
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,680
"If the smaller, host insect
then bites the human,

378
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,760
"the botfly larvae are
impregnated into the skin.

379
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,320
"The larvae then pupates
inside the skin,

380
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,720
"at which point they EAT their
way out and fly away.

381
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:08,200
<font color="
reports the case of a man

382
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,480
"who was bitten behind the ear
and kept awake at night

383
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:15,680
"by the sound of the botfly larvae
eating the flesh inside his head."

384
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,120
'Hammond didn't have a good night.'

385
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,160
What's that?

386
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,080
<font color="

387
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,400
Stick insect!

388
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,360
There's big things on my head!

389
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,400
Oh, what is that?!

390
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,640
There's something just flew in my
hair and it's squeaking at me!

391
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,240
It's big! It's really...

392
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,920
'And, to be honest, he didn't
have a great morning either.'

393
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,360
<font color="

394
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:48,040
'To get away
from the creepy-crawlies,
I sought refuge in my car.'

395
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:51,680
OK. Guys?

396
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,040
Ooh. There is a snake in your car.

397
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,560
He's coming up here.
He's coming up here.

398
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,880
It's known locally as
<font color="

399
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,560
Thanks.

400
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:07,520
Our raggedy convoy hit the trail

401
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:07,520
with Hammond still moaning.

402
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,720
Who's got my trouser-leg?

403
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,600
Has your trouser-leg gone missing?

404
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:17,160
'We soldiered on with the Range
Rover up front, forging a path

405
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:17,160
<font color="

406
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:21,760
Look at it - rescuing other cars,
ploughing through here.

407
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,800
My sweat being soaked up
by the floor!

408
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:32,080
But soon, the strain of point duty
began to show.

409
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:37,240
This is now smelling hot, this car.

410
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:45,000
<font color="
Range Rover from back here -
it smells of imminent failure.

411
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,080
'I was right.'

412
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,000
Range Rover's just stopped working.

413
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,440
That honestly wasn't
very funny three series ago
and it's not funny now.

414
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:05,760
<font color="
No, I haven't got any brakes.

415
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:05,760
That's how I stop.

416
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:13,080
Oh, no. Oh... No.
James, it's over-heated.

417
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,880
What a rotten bit of luck.

418
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,400
Missing! Broken!

419
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:22,520
Your fault, because I have been
<font color="

420
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:26,520
Bamboo has gone into it
and broken my fan and now
my engine's overheating.

421
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:30,640
The plucky Brit has wounded itself
helping you out.

422
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,760
Your plucky British car has been
defeated by... What was it? Bamboo?

423
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:40,680
<font color="
of design is it if a piece of bamboo
can get in there and break the fan?

424
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,200
Bamboo?!

425
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,040
Without this,
would you still be on the boat?

426
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,040
Yes, you would. Yes. You would still
be on the river-bank.

427
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,080
<font color="

428
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:56,240
We passed the time by bickering
until the engine had cooled down.

429
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,160
I love the V8 rumble. Nice.

430
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:00,840
It's very mighty.

431
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,400
ENGINE STARTS

432
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,400
Yes!

433
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,280
The mighty Spitfire is down,
<font color="

434
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,600
'We battled on through
the undergrowth.'

435
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,360
There, that's a gear.

436
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,680
We did that
without breaking anything.

437
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,880
Whoa!

438
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,360
'Eventually, Hammond
and May stopped.'

439
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,600
Sorry!

440
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,120
<font color="
a small gully.

441
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:51,680
That's pretty steep.

442
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:52,720
What?!

443
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:57,120
That's a bit of a gully, I think

444
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:57,120
they call it. I'm just going to
drive down and out the other side.

445
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,520
No. You can't.

446
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,520
<font color="
with the Range Rover?

447
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,760
The wheel hits the bottom
before the front of the car.

448
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,720
If you look at a Porsche Cayenne
or your car,

449
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,240
there's about 18 feet of car
in front of the wheels.

450
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,760
<font color="
It won't make...

451
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,960
I'm going down. You two, stand back.

452
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,000
Watch and learn.

453
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,080
If you believe something
will happen, it will happen.

454
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,840
Low range. That was reverse.

455
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,360
Pointless handbrake off.

456
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,440
Oh, Lord.

457
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,680
<font color="

458
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,640
Yeah, so you're now stuck in a whole.

459
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,520
Just lock the diffs. Just...

460
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:48,200
You great, dozy,
woolly-haired pillock.

461
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,000
It needs to be winched out.
I knew that a while back.

462
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,080
'I fired up the winch on my Suzuki.'

463
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,480
<font color="

464
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,920
Is it moving?

465
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,480
It's coming. It's trying hard.

466
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,520
Come on.

467
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,760
It is coming free.

468
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:11,920
Uh, guys? Oh, my God. Uh, James.
It won't stop.

469
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,560
That didn't work.

470
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,760
<font color="
It won't drive out. It just won't.

471
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,640
'Mystic Hammond was right.'

472
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,240
That nearly worked.

473
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,120
'At last, my Toyota
could regain some dignity.

474
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:40,120
'First pulling out the Suzuki
and then the idiot's Range Rover.'

475
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,160
<font color="

476
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:55,960
Look at my little donkey
pulling the Range Rover out.

477
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,520
'We realised we'd have
to build a bridge,

478
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,840
'which made one of us very excited.'

479
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,840
I am the god of hellfire.

480
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,560
Has he got a chainsaw?

481
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:08,920
CHAINSAW STARTS

482
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,520
<font color="

483
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:11,600
Oh, God!

484
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,240
'We set about building our bridge.

485
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:33,440
'And since James had the lightest
car, Jeremy and I decided
he should go first.'

486
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:39,160
I declare this ready, steady,
strong. Get in your car
and drive over.

487
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:44,960
<font color="

488
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:49,720
Looks like your back wheels
are beautiful, actually.

489
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,600
I think you're about right
from this side.

490
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,720
'What James really needed at this
point was clear instructions
from us two.'

491
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,080
If anything, a little bit left.
<font color="

492
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,480
I'm sorry. On this side,
I would say, not left.

493
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,520
Left or right?

494
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,320
James, what I'd do
at this point is power.

495
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,200
Maximum power.

496
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,840
You're going to need to engage...
There you go. There you go.

497
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,360
<font color="

498
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,040
Now, we're talking.

499
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:22,240
'Eventually, the three-wheel drive
Suzuki made it.

500
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:27,480
'So then, as night fell,
it was Jeremy's turn,

501
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,520
'in the much heavier
and much wider Range Rover.'

502
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,720
Whoa!

503
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:38,480
<font color="
on the outer log on this side.

504
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,040
It's not looking good
from where I am. No, I imagine not.

505
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,200
I can't see the back wheel.

506
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,000
It's all right. Keep going...I think.

507
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,720
You're about to touch down.

508
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,920
<font color="

509
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,840
God almighty, that was scary.

510
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:05,320
'As I lined up, it was almost
completely dark.'

511
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,680
Hammond, I'm afraid,
we simply can't see anything.

512
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,040
We don't know.

513
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,240
Left a bit.

514
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,240
This is quite frightening.

515
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,080
<font color="

516
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,720
Oh, I've got no brakes!

517
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,200
Hang on. Hang on.

518
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,560
Come on.

519
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,200
Right, you've got the front wheels
on, mate.

520
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,640
Make it so. Let's see
if it can make this verge.

521
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,160
Lovely.

522
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:36,240
Oh, that feels good. Ha!

523
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:43,760
<font color="
with the charms of the rainforest
starting to wear quite thin.'

524
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:47,040
It is extraordinary
if you think about it.

525
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:51,160
In South America, there are
no elephants, kangaroos,

526
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,360
lions, hyenas, honey badgers.

527
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:58,320
<font color="
It's all just insects designed

528
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:04,000
to make you have a debilitating,
agonising death.

529
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,960
I'd love to know
how hot this engine is.

530
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,000
Very is what I'm thinking.

531
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:14,040
'So when we made camp that night,

532
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,360
<font color="
some vents in the bonnet.'

533
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,240
Jeremy, my car's on fire.
Well, put beer on it.

534
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:29,560
There's a fire extinguisher
in the car.

535
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,360
You set my car on fire.
I haven't got my glasses.

536
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,920
Pull the bloody pin out.
<font color="

537
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,160
Thank you. Yeah.

538
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:49,000
Right, day three... Four!

539
00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:00,960
Uh, it clings.

540
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,400
OK.

541
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:09,760
Ladies and gentlemen, David Lee Roth
in the morning. Here he is.

542
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,840
James?

543
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,480
What we've done... Don't do that.

544
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,920
<font color="
camped on a road.

545
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,760
Who's this bloke on a bike?

546
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,560
Morning. Morning.

547
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,840
He's going to work
and we're camping on the A1.

548
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,920
Yup.

549
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,960
I can't remember if I took
<font color="

550
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,480
If I were a girl,
I'd be pregnant a lot.

551
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:57,600
If you're watching this in
smellovision, I apologise because
the smell in here is disgusting.

552
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,720
It's me.

553
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,800
I absolutely reek!

554
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,400
Luckily, we then got a shower.

555
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,760
<font color="

556
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:19,840
Hammond? Yes. How wet
are you getting in this rain?

557
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,880
It's not bad, actually.

558
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,280
It's quite a lot wetter here.

559
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,440
How can the rain be heavier there
that it is over here?

560
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,280
That's a river.

561
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:38,480
<font color="
we'd have to cross

562
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:44,120
'which meant that we'd have to use
stuff from the Ann Summers chest
to waterproof our cars.'

563
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:48,680
Right. These are condoms. Do you two
need some time to yourselves?

564
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:54,360
<font color="
Wh... What?!

565
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:57,160
What are you planning?
I'll tell you my big problem.

566
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,120
It's my fuel filler cap.
If water gets in there...

567
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,040
You're in a lot of trouble.

568
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:03,720
If I put a Tampax in there,

569
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,760
it will expand width-ways
<font color="

570
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,880
I'll be able to go roller-blading
with a poodle

571
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,080
or drive a Range Rover through
a river in the Amazon delta.

572
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:18,360
James was suspiciously skilful
with the Vaseline and the condoms.

573
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,800
And soon, we were ready
<font color="

574
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,880
HE HUMS

575
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:36,120
Now, do I follow in Hammond's
wheel-marks on the basis that we

576
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:36,120
know how deep it is,

577
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:41,400
or do I think, "He's an incompetent
fool and go somewhere else?"

578
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:46,000
'As it turned out,
I was an incompetent fool.'

579
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,840
<font color="

580
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,920
Oh-ho!

581
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,320
Please, keep going.
Little donkey, swim!

582
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:58,000
Swim, swim. There you go.

583
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:02,200
This is when, suddenly, the
Land Cruiser comes into its own.

584
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,960
Yeah, there's maybe more comfortable
things that will get you there,

585
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,680
<font color="
will always get you home.

586
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,520
Meanwhile...

587
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,360
It's stopped!

588
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,840
Aah! Water's coming in to my car.

589
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,720
'This caused problems for James.'

590
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,920
You're going to have to go
round the outside.

591
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:27,840
Straight ahead there. I'll tell you
<font color="

592
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,760
Good. There.

593
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,000
Oh, God!

594
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,160
Cock!

595
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:39,160
Good, good. That's two. OK.

596
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,520
Why did I listen to you,
you imbecile!

597
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:48,800
'Rather than accept another winch
from the Toyota, the Range Rover

598
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:48,800
<font color="

599
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,240
ENGINE STARTS

600
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:53,280
Ha-Ha!

601
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:59,840
'Thus removing the obstacle
James had been trying to avoid
when he got stuck.'

602
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,280
As far as I can work out,
he's dragging it even deeper.

603
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,160
HE LAUGHS

604
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,640
<font color="

605
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,320
There's a lot of bubbles came out
of your petrol-filler cap.

606
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,680
That's air. But they've been
replaced with water.

607
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:17,880
'This whole episode
made James very angry.'

608
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,920
If you hadn't tried to be clever and
<font color="

609
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:26,240
I wouldn't have had to go round
the outside in my small off-roader
and I wouldn't have sunk.

610
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:29,880
Unreliable?! It stalled! It stalled!
It started again.

611
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,120
Mine will start again.

612
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,880
The rainforest
<font color="

613
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:42,560
I'll tell you something, if you look
over there, would you not think
it's getting thinner?

614
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:54,400
'It was and soon, our battered cars
emerged from the trees.

615
00:34:54,400 --> 00:35:00,720
'At last, we were out of the
spider-infested sweatbox.

616
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:08,040
<font color="
James and Richard wished

617
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:08,040
they were back in it.'

618
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,200
Oh, God!

619
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,440
Stop it!

620
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:26,040
Just answer me this simple question,
how comfortable are you two
right now?

621
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:34,160
It's like a big, feather mattress.
<font color="

622
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,040
Oh, Jesus!

623
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:42,960
Have I broken James' spine? There
will be two Ted Nugents in a minute.

624
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:49,960
Oh, I'm so sick of that noise!
Stop rattling at me!

625
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,880

with it

626
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,640
<font color="

627
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,800


628
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,800


629
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:10,080

with it...

630
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:22,680
We spent the night in a town where
there were baths and bedrooms

631
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,120
and then we hit the road once more.

632
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,720
<font color="
This is cocaine country.

633
00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:33,800
Kate Moss's delicatessen.

634
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,160
Obviously we can't drive
through this region

635
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:43,760
without registering our disgust
at the violent, reprehensible
drugs trade

636
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,240
that brings misery
<font color="

637
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:57,240
May, have you seen what Hammond
has written on his car?

638
00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:00,600
Yeah, I don't think he's understood
what we're trying to do here.

639
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:05,000
Hammond, are you feeling
ashamed of yourself?

640
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:10,960
There was an opportunity and I took
<font color="
misery to millions?

641
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:15,040
"Untold misery to millions"?
Are the ratings really that good?

642
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,480
Ha ha ha.

643
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:25,240
As we left town, we started
to climb and that was a problem
for the Range Rover.

644
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:30,360
<font color="
gradient, for any period of time,

645
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:36,280
the engine gets very, very warm.

646
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:36,280
Still nothing's working
apart from the demist.

647
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:41,400
'Soon the engine became so hot,
I had to get radical.'

648
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:45,600
The scope of my engineering genius,
<font color="

649
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,720
Because, as you can see,
the vents I cut in the bonnet

650
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,520
are now windows.

651
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:56,640
So I can see where I'm going,
the engine is cool. All is well.

652
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,600
Sooner or later,
Jeremy has to admit that the
<font color="

653
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:12,560
We were only 110 miles from La Paz,
but between us and it was
the Road of Death -

654
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:17,080
the death road - the most
dangerous highway in the world.

655
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:25,160
Over the years, the sheer,
unguarded drops have claimed
<font color="

656
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:32,440
And to make matters worse, Captain
Terrified-of-heights didn't really

657
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:32,440
have the car for the job.

658
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,280
James? Yes.

659
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:38,360
I don't know about the rear
suspension design on a Suzuki.

660
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:42,360
The shock absorber is traditionally
<font color="
That's not absorbing shocks.

661
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,360
It's bouncing around on the spring.

662
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,880
That does affect your control quite
badly - not having a shock absorber.

663
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,480
I'm glad you said that up here,
Hammond, on my favourite road.

664
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,320
<font color="

665
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:58,840
I genuinely don't like heights.
It's my biggest failing,
among many - I accept.

666
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:03,120
You know the, you drive
into the back of my car

667
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:03,120
and it's very funny, joke?

668
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:06,120
Oh, you want me to drive into him?

669
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:10,840
<font color="
will need a beep there, BBC Two.

670
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,400
I can understand that.

671
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:21,640
Uh, my car is perfect in every way,
apart from it not starting.

672
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:27,520
So could you, if you wouldn't mind,
push me?

673
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:32,800
So you want me to push your car with
<font color="

674
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,960
There's no alternative.

675
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,120
OK, here I come.

676
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,400
Careful, careful.

677
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,800
BUMPER CRUNCHES

678
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,080
I wasn't as careful as I could have

679
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,080
been. Sorry.

680
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,680
HE SNIGGERS

681
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:51,480
<font color="
had earned its name.

682
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,400
God almighty, that is high!

683
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,680
That is a massive, massive drop!

684
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,240
This is insane.

685
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:21,720
Whoa!

686
00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:26,520
The grasses stick up
and you don't necessarily see what
a long way down it is,

687
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,960
<font color="

688
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,680
..and you see down
and it is a long way.

689
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:34,400
There's one there.

690
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,960
'The dust didn't help either.'

691
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,040
Oh, gee. Look at that.
That's narrow.

692
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,440
HORN TOOTS

693
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,560
I don't understand the rules
<font color="

694
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:58,000
You seem to drive one minute on the
left and one minute on the right.

695
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,680
Sometimes the lorry stops to let you
go through. Sometimes they don't.

696
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:08,520
Some lorries pull over, others come
barrelling up behind you doing three
<font color="

697
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,080
It's completely baffling.

698
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,760
Thank you.

699
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,760
I'm coming up against the truck.

700
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,760
I've got to go past him

701
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:24,480
and that means going on that side.

702
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:29,960
Looking straight ahead.

703
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:33,600
Breathe.

704
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:37,800
<font color="
to let a mad local get past.

705
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:39,440
HORN TOOTS

706
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,280
Does that mean there's one of those
maniacal taxi drivers?

707
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,000
..and I didn't.

708
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,360
Oh, God!

709
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,720
BUMPERS CRUNCH

710
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:55,920
Sorry, I was watching the taxi.

711
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:55,920
<font color="

712
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:55,920
to death.

713
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,200
I was watching the taxi! I don't
care. Did I or did I not warn you?

714
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:03,120
James is killing Jeremy,
but things are going well.

715
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:07,320
I was watching the taxi. You
<font color="

716
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:11,200
Did your co-presenter just attack
you with a machete? Yes, he did.

717
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:16,320
He was quite cross cos I ran into
him. That doesn't happen on clothes

718
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:16,320
programmes or gardening shows.

719
00:42:21,720 --> 00:42:28,120
<font color="
in the already battered Toyota
became truly terrifying.'

720
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:31,680
That's my steering.
I'm inches from death, there.

721
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,160
The steering wheel
doesn't do anything.

722
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,040
My brakes stick when I'm going uphill

723
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,040
<font color="

724
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,920
I can't breathe
because the dust gets in.

725
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,760
Oh, God! That's real fear now.

726
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:48,920
Going downhill, the same brakes that
stick on going uphill, don't stop me.

727
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,560
Ugh!

728
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,040
'The Suzuki too
was showing the strain.'

729
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,480
<font color="

730
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,640
HE GROWLS

731
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:04,880
What is the matter? It's got dirt

732
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:04,880
in the fuel system from the river.

733
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,920
So it's broken? It's not broken.
Occasionally, a bit of
it goes through.

734
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:10,920
Your simple, cheap car is broken.

735
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:17,320
<font color="
Top Gear brotherhood, I left James
and Richard behind.'

736
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:23,320
It just goes to show they are
badly-made these Japanese cars.
They're badly-made.

737
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,600
'James and I decided
to stick together.'

738
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:34,400
<font color="
My God, he is.

739
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,560
That's insane.

740
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,000
Right. I'm in a ditch.

741
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:49,920
OK.

742
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,520
I didn't see this.

743
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,400
Whoa-ho! What a thing to miss.

744
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:55,720
Right.

745
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:59,960
'No biggie, though, because
<font color="
in a jiffy.'

746
00:43:59,960 --> 00:44:04,400
Hold on. What?
The winch isn't working.

747
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:18,240
I'm now all on my own on Death Road.
I have no idea where Ray Mears
and Ted Nugent are.

748
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:21,640
They've just disappeared. We have

749
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:21,640
<font color="

750
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:23,320
They could be dead.

751
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:31,800
'We would, in fact, be dead quite
soon, judging by the mood
of the angry, stuck locals.'

752
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:35,000
Good luck. Thank you.
Handbrake off etc.

753
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:42,560
The ditch is going to level out
<font color="

754
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:43,840
What a nice man.

755
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:51,120
'Soon, though, I wished I'd stayed
in the ditch because the Toyota
developed yet another fault.'

756
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:56,120
Something's broken
on that back corner.

757
00:44:56,120 --> 00:45:00,160
This is pretty close
<font color="

758
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:02,800
Christ!

759
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,440
Meanwhile, very far ahead...

760
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:10,400
I'm now 5,500 feet above sea level
and still climbing.

761
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,920
Oh, God, crosses.

762
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,000
A lot of crosses there.

763
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:23,600
And then, underneath a waterfall,
I learned why there were so many

764
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:23,600
<font color="

765
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:32,600
Oh, my God.

766
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,000
No.

767
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,640
Oh, my...

768
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:39,160
Stop there!

769
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,720
That is going. That is going.

770
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,360
CREAKING

771
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,360
Bloody hell.

772
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,040
We were still miles back.

773
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:37,880
It was almost dark and,
<font color="
wasn't charging the battery.

774
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:43,080
How much is running your car with
headlights on going to shorten
the life of the battery

775
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:44,800
and then kill the engine?

776
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,920
I don't know exactly,
but by quite a bit.

777
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:50,280
<font color="
to be honest.

778
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,040
God, this is murder.

779
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,800
Pretty soon, the inevitable happened.

780
00:46:56,200 --> 00:47:00,120
My car is now dead
and without a new battery.

781
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:05,160
'Since the alternator was one of

782
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:05,160
the few things working on the Toyota,

783
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:08,120
<font color="
for James' dead one.'

784
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,400
I think it was good of me to donate
my battery. Yes, it was.

785
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,760
Yes, it was. This time, we're not
going to run with your lights off.

786
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,240
No, OK. We'll use the torches.

787
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:18,920
Hang on a minute.

788
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:27,880
<font color="
at the summit of the death road.

789
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:31,320
My colleagues aren't here,
which means they must be dead.

790
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,520
I've therefore made them these
rather touching memorials.

791
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,520
With the torches fitted,

792
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,080
this was my view of Death Road.

793
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:52,080
<font color="
something to you that

794
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:52,080
I wouldn't say at any other time.

795
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,480
'What?'

796
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,960
Please don't leave me.

797
00:47:55,960 --> 00:48:00,280
Oh, God, those words will stay with
me. I'll struggle to get over that.

798
00:47:55,960 --> 00:48:00,280
No, I won't.

799
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,360
The next morning,
<font color="

800
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:22,520
the world's highest
and worst capital city.

801
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,800
But as we waited for
our next instructions,

802
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,160
the mood was frosty.

803
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,360
Are you ready? No.

804
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,280
La Paz... I still haven't actually
<font color="

805
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:38,040
It's not like we're being all matey
now and have forgotten you abandoned

806
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:38,040
us to die, just so you know.

807
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,400
I couldn't go back to the hotel,

808
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,400
eat steak, have a beer,

809
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:44,800
and go to bed feeling good
if I'd just left my mates...
<font color="

810
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:47,880
Then tell your mates the steak
wasn't very good.

811
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:49,760
I thought you were dead.

812
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,600
I had a simple ceremony up there

813
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,600
for you. Then what did you do?
You went on.

814
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,280
I said kind words about you.

815
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:59,760
<font color="

816
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:59,760
La Paz and the Pacific Ocean,

817
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:05,160
"there is the Altiplano where the
altitude will cause you to have

818
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:05,160
a pulmonary oedema.

819
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:08,520
"Then there's the Andes where you'll
have a cerebral oedema.

820
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:13,120
<font color="
50 times drier than Death Valley.

821
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,560
"It has never rained.
It's the driest place on Earth

822
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:20,800
"and there is no life,
not even bacteria."

823
00:49:24,240 --> 00:49:27,480
Given that our lungs and brains
would explode in the deserts

824
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:30,200
<font color="
and the Pacific,

825
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,040
we decided to modify our cars a bit.

826
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:37,520
So it was time to find a workshop
and cue the music.

827
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:41,120


828
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,440
Have you got "Spider In Car"
for Hammond?

829
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,680
<font color="

830
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:46,720
Stick to hammers.

831
00:49:46,720 --> 00:49:49,840
That's the precision tool board.

832
00:49:46,720 --> 00:49:49,840
The hammer lives elsewhere.

833
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:02,840
The next day, we left La Paz
well prepared for the trials

834
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:02,840
that lay ahead.

835
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:06,960
So, I've lifted the Land Cruiser,
<font color="

836
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:10,600
Gives me room for the bigger, wider
tyres I need for the desert sand.

837
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,080
Roll cage for safety, obviously.

838
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,160
Then to get rid of some of
the weight, I've lost the doors

839
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:21,160
because they were very heavy,
and the roof and anything else

840
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:21,160
<font color="

841
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:27,720
What I've done to prepare for
the desert is team a rather
fetching hooded cardigan

842
00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:31,800
with some old combat trousers
and some big wheels on my car.

843
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,160
Wow, James has been busy.

844
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:38,800
Woo, yes.

845
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,080
You've modified that, mate.

846
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:45,200
<font color="
my car is mended it.

847
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,480
The modifying brothers were very

848
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,480
pleased with their results.

849
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,800
Yeah! Ah!

850
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,040
I'm liking this. Loving this!

851
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:01,080
But after a few miles,
<font color="

852
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:05,000
Hammond, I've made my car worse.

853
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:10,400
How? It won't ride properly

854
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:10,400
and the tyres are catching
on the wheel arches.

855
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,840
It's got no power any more.

856
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:14,120
Oh, God.

857
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,680
I am having to work my engine
<font color="

858
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:21,560
The problem is, you put bigger wheels

859
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:21,560
on, it has the effect of
gearing it up.

860
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:25,680
First gear is like starting in
third...it's hard work.

861
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:29,000
The long and the short of it,
I've rather ruined it.

862
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:32,000
James has just overtaken me
<font color="

863
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,280
RICHARD LAUGHS

864
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:38,240
That face is smug, I don't like it.

865
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,120
Because I'd made my car better,

866
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,960
as we climbed onto the Altiplano,

867
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,800
I could relax and enjoy
the backdrop.

868
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,360
Look at that sky.

869
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:53,400
That's one of the best skies
<font color="

870
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:06,600
James, does it get hotter or colder
when you're at altitude?
I've forgotten.

871
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:11,480
I'm pretty sure it gets much hotter.
No, no, hang on. Colder.

872
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:17,160
There's only one way we can
accurately determine the temperature
<font color="

873
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:20,320
I know what you're thinking,
I'm fine.

874
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:27,640
As darkness fell, we pulled into

875
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:27,640
a petrol station.

876
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:32,480
In the shop, we found a bit more

877
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:32,480
than Kit Kats and pies.

878
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:37,880
Wait a minute. Caramelised cocaine.
<font color="

879
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:37,880
every motorway service station.

880
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:41,400
Wow. You take it and then
you talk for hours.

881
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:43,040
Let's have that.

882
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:48,040
In fact, the sweet is made
from coca leaves which are legal
and used by locals

883
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:51,040
<font color="
of altitude sickness.

884
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,840
Hammond found them very moreish.

885
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:57,640
They're nice, they're caramelised.
I've had about six.

886
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:00,640
Luckily, this had no effect at all.

887
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:05,360
..all the camping gear,
then when you got there,

888
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:05,360
<font color="

889
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:10,120
there was like a high bit
and a low bit and we used to say,
"Is this the high/low bit?"

890
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:15,080
And Mum and Dad would say, "Yeah".
And then we knew how far
it was to Weston.

891
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:19,200
I always thought
<font color="
but actually it's quite nice...

892
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:28,960
The next morning, we woke
on the staggeringly beautiful
Bolivian high plains.

893
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:37,520
We couldn't see this in the dark

894
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:37,520
but it's absolutely breathtaking.

895
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:41,200
<font color="
away. There's no breath
to take away.

896
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,920
We're at 14,000 feet
according to the gizmo.

897
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:49,760
14,000? 14,006 feet. What's that?
<font color="

898
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:53,360
On Casualty, they always do this.
They put one of these on
their finger,

899
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:57,760
and it's something to do with how
much oxygen there is in
your red blood cells.

900
00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:02,880
If it's less than 98 or 99,
you've had it.

901
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,520
<font color="

902
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:07,880
87. That's less. Much less.

903
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,400
Where's Tina Hobley, then?
Just try yours.

904
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,040
I bet you can't go less than 87.

905
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,800
That's how ill I am.

906
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:18,320
<font color="

907
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:19,880
I AM dead.

908
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:24,280
88, I'm not much better. If you went

909
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:24,280
into a doctor's surgery in England,

910
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:29,720
with sats of 88,
they'd put you in hospital. 84.

911
00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:33,600
In fact, the only thing
<font color="

912
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,360
were the modifications on my car.

913
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:38,240
What's happened? I've broken
my front right spring.

914
00:54:38,240 --> 00:54:41,280
Completely clean. Sheared it
off both ends. You're joking?

915
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:44,160
Bloody hellfire.

916
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,680
<font color="
to be connected to that?

917
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,160
Yep. It's snapped clean off.

918
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,080
While trying to mend
the modified suspension,

919
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:58,320
there was another problem.
Your prop shaft fell off.

920
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:02,200
What? Your prop shaft just fell off.

921
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:07,360
<font color="
took us all morning to get it fixed.

922
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:08,960
Ooh!

923
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,280
But eventually, we were off.

924
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:21,440
And apart from James driving
into a village well...

925
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:24,920
Sorry... Leave it!

926
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:28,680
..we made good progress
<font color="

927
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,920
I'm in a fantastic desert,
with my two mates.

928
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:36,320
All the cars are working,
look at that, look at that.

929
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,760
It's great. It's an adventure.

930
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:44,680
And soon,
we reached a big milestone.

931
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:46,960
<font color="
Bolivia.

932
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:50,080
Let's roll in as a threesome.

933
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:55,000
You look at these three, you'd never
believe they were still running!

934
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,840
Most scrapyards would reject them.

935
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:03,440
At the border post, we were given
the traditional welcome.

936
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:07,520
<font color="

937
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:17,600
I hope he doesn't find the tampons.
Or, rather worryingly, the Viagra.

938
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:28,560
Drugs check over, we entered Chile,
where the scenery became
even more sensational.

939
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,840
Those are flamingos,
they actually are flamingos.

940
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:40,520
<font color="
Wow.

941
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:44,320
Unfortunately, we were still
climbing.

942
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:48,040
Are you ready? 45 feet to go.

943
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,880
30 feet to go.

944
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:52,400
Here it comes.

945
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:56,120
5, 4, 3... We're there!

946
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,040
15,006 feet!

947
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:04,120
<font color="
the highest peak in Europe

948
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:07,120
and we're still driving.

949
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:13,000
Soon, the altitude would become
a big issue.

950
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:23,160
But the next day,
Hammond had an even bigger one.

951
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:27,560
<font color="

952
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:29,880
Oh, come on!

953
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:33,080
It won't come out of gear.

954
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:37,480
I'm trying to rock it
on the starter motor... Ah!

955
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:42,440
There you go.

956
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:46,320
We're away, into second,
match the road speed...

957
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:48,000
<font color="

958
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:56,040
We've just pulled over here
to wait for Hammond.

959
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,960
Oh! Dust!

960
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:00,080
Is that him?

961
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,480
It is.

962
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,720
It is. We're back as a three.

963
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:07,880
Hammond!

964
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:11,080
The donkey lives!
<font color="

965
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:15,080
At this point,
we had a decision to make.

966
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,280
We can either go that way,

967
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:21,040
which is very long,

968
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:22,320
or we can go that way,

969
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:23,520
which is short,

970
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:26,320
but does mean driving over
an active volcano.

971
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:29,360
<font color="

972
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:31,440
Volcano. Short. I agree.

973
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,360
Short. Let's do it.

974
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:44,960
As we climbed, the air became
thinner and thinner.

975
00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:52,000
15,400.

976
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,840
And climbing.

977
00:58:54,840 --> 00:59:00,560
We are, definitely, the highest
<font color="

978
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:03,760
Apart from George Michael,
obviously.

979
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:08,000
Hammond's really got to think ahead
with no clutch.

980
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,960
He's gotta think ahead with
a brain starved of oxygen.

981
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:19,160
What is frightening is when
I need to come to grab first

982
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:19,160
<font color="

983
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:20,800
Changing down is harder.

984
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:24,840
You have to guess how high
the engine needs to be revving
and slot the gear lever in

985
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:26,880
without a clutch.

986
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:31,960
James too was having problems.

987
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,520
JUDDERING AND GRATING

988
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:40,560
<font color="
box is jammed.

989
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:45,360
But these niggles were overshadowed
by the big one.

990
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,760
Up at this altitude, this engine

991
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,760
is really struggling.

992
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:53,080
For every litre of fuel vapour
it gets through,

993
00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:56,080
it needs 14 litres of air.

994
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,520
<font color="

995
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:01,800
So, it's just like me...

996
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:01,800
HE GASPS

997
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:05,160
That means it's so down on power.

998
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:10,080
'Up here, James's car
had, at best, 20 horsepower.

999
01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:12,720
'And as we climbed higher,

1000
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:14,520
'we started to suffer as well.'

1001
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:18,240
The breathlessness now
<font color="

1002
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:22,520
Just talking is...hard work.

1003
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:26,240
I'm starting to feel a bit...

1004
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,560
Jeez...no...I'm feeling really

1005
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:30,440
quite weird.

1006
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:36,880
'The terrain levelled out
so we pulled over to catch

1007
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:36,880
what we could of our breath.'

1008
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:39,960
Do you feel sort of drunk
<font color="

1009
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:43,320
Exactly that. My whole head...
I've got room spin.

1010
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:46,400
'It was time for drastic action.'

1011
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:48,240
Cyanide? No.

1012
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:49,760
Viagra.

1013
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:51,960
Eh? Is this the time?

1014
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:56,000
<font color="
unknown to science

1015
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,160
stops you having an oedema
in your lung.

1016
01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:03,480
I thought it was more the trouser
department it concentrated on.
That could be a side effect, yes.

1017
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:05,640
Down the hatch. Here we go.

1018
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:11,480
<font color="
I can't swallow it.

1019
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:14,520
Nothing's happening.
I need a drink.

1020
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:20,880
I'm going to get a massive neck
if I don't get some of that.

1021
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:24,000
Apparently...that will
save our lives.

1022
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,440
THEY LAUGH

1023
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,440
<font color="

1024
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:28,280
I've just taken Viagra!

1025
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,720
On top of the Andes.

1026
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,720
CHUCKLING

1027
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:36,280
'Sadly, it didn't seem to have
any effect at all.'

1028
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:41,800
I'm getting a headache
and I'm feeling sick.

1029
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:45,360
Come on, come on.

1030
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:48,680
<font color="

1031
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:53,440
'which would give out first,
the cars or the men?'

1032
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:54,480
Come on. Come on!

1033
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:55,720
Come on.

1034
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:00,760
Every gear change
is so critical now.

1035
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:03,920
I get tense about it,
that raises my heart.

1036
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,840
<font color="
all the more.

1037
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:12,800
Still there, Hammond? Yeah,
I'm still here. I have to go slow

1038
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:15,720
because I daren't risk changing up
to third. I won't make it.

1039
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:17,480
'OK, mate, we'll slow down.'

1040
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:20,720
We're a team up here.
<font color="

1041
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:23,680
God, Jeremy's talking
about being a team.

1042
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:26,960
Must be the altitude.

1043
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:30,720
'At 16,700 feet,

1044
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:33,240
'the Toyota broke down again.'

1045
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:35,600
ENGINE STALLS

1046
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:38,080
'I think my transfer box
has just gone.'

1047
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:40,480
<font color="

1048
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:42,520
'And then we couldn't get going
again.'

1049
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:47,680
The engines just aren't getting
any air.

1050
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:49,240
At all.

1051
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:51,920
There's just no...er...

1052
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,680
James can't get his started.

1053
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:55,600
I can't get mine started.

1054
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:58,720
<font color="

1055
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:05,080
Once we get the Range Rover going,
that's the most likely to start,

1056
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:11,400
we can get
everything started. Right. Can we
move it? Three, two, heave!

1057
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:13,080
And go!

1058
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:13,080
THEY STRAIN

1059
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:18,280
<font color="
altitude damn near killed us,

1060
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:21,640
'but eventually the big beast fired
and once again,

1061
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:25,680
'the most unreliable car in the
world got the others going as well.'

1062
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:33,520
Oh, yeah.

1063
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:40,680
Bloody hell.

1064
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:42,960
<font color="

1065
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:48,400
I get the feeling something's gotta

1066
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:48,400
give soon.

1067
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:53,880
Jesus Christ, my head!

1068
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:02,960
'At 17,200 feet,
we pulled over - again.'

1069
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:12,240
PANTING

1070
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:23,640
Hammond? Yeah.

1071
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:31,640
Even if...the cars could get over
<font color="

1072
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:31,640
I can't.

1073
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:37,560
Just pushing on's just stupid.

1074
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:40,720
Seriously, I'm calling it a day.

1075
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:40,720
I think you could be right.

1076
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:55,360
'We really were in trouble. So, we
turned round and headed back down.

1077
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:56,520
'Fast.'

1078
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:06,680
<font color="

1079
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:11,600
HE COUGHS

1080
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,240
Breathing's better.

1081
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:16,680
With every foot...

1082
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:18,880
the engine's gonna run smoother.

1083
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:21,360
My body's gonna run smoother.

1084
01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:34,240
'We then went the long way round
and finally, drunk on oxygen,

1085
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:37,960
<font color="
of the Andes.'

1086
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:47,000
DEEP BREATHING

1087
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:52,800
THEY INHALE NOISILY
Air!

1088
01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:56,000
It's so...so underrated.

1089
01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:56,000
It's thick.

1090
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:58,800
It's like breathing soup.

1091
01:05:58,800 --> 01:06:01,200
You can bite off pieces of it
and chew it.

1092
01:06:01,200 --> 01:06:03,240
<font color="

1093
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:10,640
There is just one small thing
that's occurred to me, chaps.

1094
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:11,720
What?

1095
01:06:13,760 --> 01:06:15,640
Where the hell are we?

1096
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:22,000
We were in the Atacama Desert

1097
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:23,920
where there is no life at all.

1098
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:26,600
Not even on a cellular level.

1099
01:06:26,600 --> 01:06:31,120
<font color="
living organism for miles.

1100
01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,320
There was nothing here at all.

1101
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:38,480
Except for one road.

1102
01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:41,440
Oh, yes.

1103
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,520
The Pan-American Highway.

1104
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:52,160
Running is smooth.

1105
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:56,160
The view is spectacular.

1106
01:06:56,160 --> 01:06:58,000
Temperature is low.

1107
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:05,520
<font color="
had been too much once again

1108
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:09,000
'for the modifications
on Hammond's Toyota.'

1109
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,200
Better stop. Oh, God.

1110
01:07:14,640 --> 01:07:16,200
Didn't sound good.

1111
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:20,160
You heard something? Oh, yeah!

1112
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:21,680
Oh, dear.

1113
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:25,080
<font color="
that what's happened there

1114
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:27,320
is my prop-shaft has fallen off.

1115
01:07:27,320 --> 01:07:30,320
'And the prop-shaft
was only half of it.'

1116
01:07:30,320 --> 01:07:31,800
BLEEP.

1117
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:34,000
What's broken? Diff.

1118
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,840
It's shattered?
<font color="

1119
01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:41,160
Good God. I'm surprised
that didn't somersault the car.

1120
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:46,760
I've just heard on the radio that
Richard Hammond's Land Cruiser

1121
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:48,440
is in serious trouble.

1122
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:50,920
HE SPUTTERS

1123
01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:57,720
'Happily, the Top Gear orang-utan
<font color="

1124
01:07:57,720 --> 01:08:02,240
'As a result, James and I quickly
got the Toyota working again.'

1125
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:09,880
We reconfigured it,
it's now running.

1126
01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:13,400
Front wheel drive only
so it's now just its front legs

1127
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:16,280
dragging itself along,
still working.

1128
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:22,000
<font color="
the Pacific Ocean, the finish line.'

1129
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:27,960
There can be no doubt this has been
our toughest assignment ever.

1130
01:08:29,440 --> 01:08:32,520
No question about that.
It's nearly killed us,

1131
01:08:32,520 --> 01:08:34,280
it's nearly killed our cars.

1132
01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:41,040
'It is incredible to think
<font color="

1133
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:44,960
'bought unseen on the Internet
had crossed the Amazon rainforest.

1134
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:49,760
'They'd scaled the most dangerous
road in the world.

1135
01:08:50,920 --> 01:08:55,960
'They'd still been working
when their drivers had broken down
in the Andes.

1136
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:02,680
<font color="
We loved them.'

1137
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:07,200
I have a teddy bear, I've had it

1138
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:07,200
since I was born.

1139
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:10,840
One of its arms has fallen off,
one of its eyes is missing,

1140
01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:13,600
its head's come off more times
than I can mention.

1141
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:16,560
<font color="

1142
01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:18,920
But to me, it means everything,

1143
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:21,720
and it's the same story
with this car.

1144
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:27,880
Yeah, the ride's terrible, it's a

1145
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:27,880
bit noisy, doesn't handle that well,

1146
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:30,680
and I'm always worried it's going
to fall over,

1147
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:34,600
<font color="
the big boys have done,

1148
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:34,600
hasn't got stuck any more often,

1149
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:39,160
and the only time it's
really gone wrong is due
to its dunking in the river.

1150
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:42,360
I think the plucky little car's
done all right.

1151
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:50,000
<font color="
when I couldn't start it on
the raft, I thought, "Oh, no."

1152
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,680
But I didn't know it then,
I didn't know how determined it was.

1153
01:09:52,680 --> 01:09:55,960
This thing is like
that Black Knight

1154
01:09:55,960 --> 01:09:57,560
in that Monty Python sketch

1155
01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:00,640
<font color="
and he gets his arm cut off.

1156
01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:04,720
"No, no, 'tis but a scratch!"
It's a great little car.

1157
01:10:04,720 --> 01:10:08,840
'As our exhausted convoy drew nearer
to the coast,

1158
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:13,040
'weirdly, the road
started to climb again.'

1159
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:19,960
<font color="
to drop 2,300 feet to sea level.

1160
01:10:19,960 --> 01:10:22,600
It must start going downhill
in a minute!

1161
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:24,160
'But it didn't.

1162
01:10:24,160 --> 01:10:26,400
'The punishing climb continued.'

1163
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:30,760
I can smell... I can smell...

1164
01:10:30,760 --> 01:10:32,760
a boiling engine.

1165
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:42,160
<font color="
just sheer, because we're nearly
at the Pacific now?

1166
01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:45,920
And we're 4,000 feet up.

1167
01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:52,800
'Soon, though, we turned off the
Pan-America and headed through

1168
01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:52,800
the dunes to the finish line,

1169
01:10:52,800 --> 01:10:56,440
'where, unfortunately, there was
<font color="

1170
01:10:57,840 --> 01:10:58,880
'A big one.'

1171
01:10:59,800 --> 01:11:00,840
Hang on a minute.

1172
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:04,920
Whoa, wait.

1173
01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:14,120
Look how bloody steep it is.
God above.

1174
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:18,680
I can see now
why they said four wheel drive.

1175
01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:21,680
Er, I've only got three wheel drive.
<font color="

1176
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:25,760
What if you dig in?
If you dug in and started to roll,

1177
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:29,440
the chances of you being alive
at the bottom...are nil.

1178
01:11:29,440 --> 01:11:34,080
'We therefore decided to get some
practice on a smaller dune first.'

1179
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:35,320
Are we ready, chaps?

1180
01:11:35,320 --> 01:11:37,560
<font color="

1181
01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:39,120
Three!

1182
01:11:39,120 --> 01:11:41,600
Two! 'Hold on, hold on.'

1183
01:11:43,240 --> 01:11:45,520
Give me strength.
Give me strength.

1184
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:46,560
What?

1185
01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:48,800
Just before we do this,
<font color="

1186
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:52,120
No! Oh, my BLEEP!

1187
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:05,680
My donkey!

1188
01:12:09,480 --> 01:12:11,240
His wheel's come off.

1189
01:12:11,240 --> 01:12:12,680
Aw!

1190
01:12:16,720 --> 01:12:19,040
'Donkey was dead.

1191
01:12:19,040 --> 01:12:21,240
'And in some ways, I was relieved.

1192
01:12:21,240 --> 01:12:25,640
'Because it meant I no longer
<font color="

1193
01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:35,880
This is utterly, utterly,
utterly stupid.

1194
01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:39,960
I wouldn't do this in
a brand-new Range Rover.

1195
01:12:39,960 --> 01:12:41,240
James, are you ready?

1196
01:12:42,480 --> 01:12:45,160
Yeah, I'll be going for
second gear, Jezza.

1197
01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:49,280
Second gear, low range, and I've got
<font color="

1198
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:52,400
I haven't got diff locks.
'Good luck, boys.'

1199
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:57,240
Three...two...one. Go!

1200
01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:08,840
Oh, my God.

1201
01:13:09,160 --> 01:13:13,080
I don't know... Oh, Christ, I don't
know where the wheels are pointing.

1202
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:16,400
I don't think so.

1203
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:21,320
It's going sideways.

1204
01:13:21,320 --> 01:13:24,400
<font color="

1205
01:13:26,240 --> 01:13:27,760
Don't you dare go sideways again.

1206
01:13:29,080 --> 01:13:32,640
'The soft sand was a nightmare
and the gradient meant pretty soon

1207
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:35,160
'we were fighting to keep control.'

1208
01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:40,560
Get in a straight line,
you metal BLEEP.

1209
01:13:40,560 --> 01:13:41,760
Come on!

1210
01:13:42,720 --> 01:13:44,720
Come on. Oh, it's going
<font color="

1211
01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:49,440
I'm in a 900-year-old utterly
ruined Range Rover.

1212
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:51,880
Argh! Argh!

1213
01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:55,200
Levelling out. It's levelling out.

1214
01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:57,480
It's levelling out.

1215
01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:03,840
Argh! We're down!

1216
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:07,040
We're down!

1217
01:14:08,040 --> 01:14:10,200
Yeah!

1218
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:16,760
<font color="
the car, even when it's an old croc,
is capable of.

1219
01:14:16,760 --> 01:14:19,280
'Well, two of us had.

1220
01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:31,640
'But when we finally regrouped
by the water's edge,

1221
01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:35,960
'Hammond still believed
he'd chosen wisely.'

1222
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:40,680
<font color="
It's extraordinarily good.
It's led a very hard life.

1223
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:43,080
It died a noble death,
I think valiant.

1224
01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:47,720
I think rubbish.
It has been a constant source of
problems and delays.

1225
01:14:47,720 --> 01:14:52,040
<font color="
been beaten every day of its life,
sick old donkey.

1226
01:14:52,040 --> 01:14:55,000
These two were old and arthritic
but they are here,

1227
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:59,680
and the Land Cruiser is 2,800 feet
above us up there.

1228
01:14:59,680 --> 01:15:02,280
Forever. Can I just make
<font color="

1229
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:05,160
cos I know what you're thinking?
Plucky little car.

1230
01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:11,320
Helped you out a few times.

1231
01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:11,320
I agree. Technically, never really

1232
01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:11,320
broke down. Well...

1233
01:15:11,320 --> 01:15:14,080
It didn't survive very well
<font color="

1234
01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:16,240
But I'd like to say
most importantly...

1235
01:15:16,240 --> 01:15:19,000
Mm-hm. ..the ride is rotten.

1236
01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:20,880
Yes. And because of that,

1237
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:24,360
because it's almost
ruined your spine,

1238
01:15:24,360 --> 01:15:26,240
and because yours isn't here,

1239
01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:29,000
<font color="
to the show.

1240
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:33,200
It turns out that the most
unreliable car in the world...

1241
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:36,200
is the most reliable car
in the world.

1242
01:15:36,200 --> 01:15:37,400
Yeah. It's fair enough.

1243
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:41,480
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the Range Rover.

1244
01:15:41,480 --> 01:15:44,040
<font color="
Nobody expected that.

1245
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:48,400
Come on, we can be proud of that.

1246
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:48,400
Proud to be British...

1247
01:16:01,760 --> 01:16:04,800
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1248
01:16:04,800 --> 01:16:07,840
Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk


