1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:01,502 . 2 00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:04,538 - All right, everybody, 3 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,240 let's go ahead and start to shut up. 4 00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:08,109 We're gonna jump right in on the one subject 5 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,044 that brings me a little bit of joy in Toledo 6 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:11,379 where I find myself currently trapped-- 7 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,281 taking down my rival Miles. 8 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,748 Now, I had a pretty good idea. 9 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,684 I was thinking maybe we could hack into his Tesla. 10 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,486 How hard would that be? I know it's possible. 11 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,088 You think you guys could do that, 12 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,655 or are you guys the kinda nerds 13 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,157 that are good at computers, 14 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:24,258 or are you the kinda nerds 15 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,060 that smell bad and wear capes? 16 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,534 Uh, you know what? Let's go ahead a pin in that, 17 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,669 because a cute girl who actually meets my standards 18 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,271 has swiped right on me. 19 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:38,772 I don't know if you guys know what that means, 20 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:41,509 but basically, it just means that it's--it's bang time. 21 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:45,279 - Is it going to be happening here in front of us? 22 00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,115 - No, Anthony, it's not gonna be happening 23 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,449 in front of you, you little freak! 24 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,118 No, we're gonna go get a drink. 25 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,485 Guys, gotta say... 26 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,087 I got a really good feeling about this one. 27 00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,422 Can I get a "get some"? 28 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,124 - Get some! 29 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,858 - That ma girl! All right! 30 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,262 Um...see ya, dudes. 31 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,133 [Ramones' "Listen to My Heart"] 32 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,600 - One, two, three, four! 33 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,303 - * Next time I'll listen to my heart * 34 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:12,173 * Next time well I'll be smart * 35 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:19,180 * 36 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:22,150 - Now boarding for New York city. 37 00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:30,658 * 38 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,104 - Whoo! 39 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,548 - If it's on my license, you know, 40 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,184 they're not gonna want to save me. 41 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,351 - No. - They're gonna wanna 42 00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:58,619 harvest my organs. - Yes! 43 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,388 - That's what they want, they want my organs. 44 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,523 - Yes, exactly. And I am not gonna die on the table 45 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:05,326 so some drunk slob can get my liver. 46 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,627 - No, no, no. No, that's not fair. 47 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,928 - No! - You should have your liver. 48 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,763 - It's very good. It's pristine. 49 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,599 - Yeah, exactly. - Nice... 50 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:20,241 - So, you wanna... head up to your place? 51 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,476 - I really like you, Jack. 52 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:26,347 I just...I just wanna get to know you a little bit better. 53 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,183 - Yeah, sure. More dates. 54 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,518 I'm around. 55 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,919 - Cool. Good night. 56 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,654 - Good night. 57 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,727 * 58 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,330 - Wake up. We're in Toledo. 59 00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,598 Time to go to work. 60 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,601 - Now boarding for Cleveland... 61 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,939 - Okeydokey, Principal Durbin. 62 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,574 Here are your daily announcements. 63 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,543 - Thank you, Helen. - You're welcome. 64 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,411 - Betty bought butter but the butter was bitter, so Betty 65 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,912 bought better butter to make the bitter butter better. 66 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,348 Ah. 67 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,785 The Magazine Drive ends Friday. 68 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:07,921 O...kay. Oh! 69 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:10,291 Oh! Text from Jack. 70 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,261 "Running late. Can you cover for me, bud?" 71 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,695 Called me bud. Helen, you gotta 72 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,265 do the announcements just this one time, okay? 73 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,866 - Oh, no, I can't do that. 74 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,534 I get way too nervous. 75 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,236 I-I was in my cousin's wedding, 76 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,872 and if you've never fainted 77 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,774 mouth-first onto a candle... 78 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,476 it was a nightmare. 79 00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,378 I-I actually ate fire. 80 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,580 No, I can't-- I can't do that. 81 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,815 - Just read off the paper. It'll be fine, okay? 82 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:37,485 It'll be so easy. 83 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,890 - Jack! You look really bad. 84 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,626 - Yeah. Had a...bit of a rough one last night. 85 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,528 I had a date in New York. 86 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,430 - "Ooh, look at me. I'm Jack. 87 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,499 I'm too good for Toledo women." 88 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,534 - Well I'm glad you understand. 89 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,437 Look, maybe taking a bus to New York isn't ideal, 90 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,005 but it's worth it to date a woman 91 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,707 who doesn't believe in angels. 92 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,675 - They're watching over us. - They help us. 93 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,544 - Don't hate on an-- You know what? 94 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,313 Wouldn't it be easier to just come to the bar 95 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,714 with us tonight? 96 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,416 Come on. 97 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,384 Yeah, sure, maybe I should just go ahead 98 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,486 and alienate all of my core principles 99 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,455 and date in Toledo. While I'm at it, 100 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,023 maybe I can eat pie on the toilet. 101 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,591 - I've done that. - Okay, see, 102 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,927 don't disrespect pie. - That's disgusting! 103 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,964 Good morning, Whitlock High. 104 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,033 It's your daily announcements. 105 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:29,837 * 106 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,706 It's Meatloaf Day in the cafeteria. 107 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:36,043 There will be a vegetarian option. 108 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,446 Too bad there's not an edible option. 109 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,382 Oh. Thank you. 110 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:45,353 Creamed spinach will also be served. 111 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,855 And for dessert-- violent illness. 112 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,858 Salmonella pie. - Oh! 113 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,861 The green apple two-trot. 114 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,331 - That's...funny. That--Okay. 115 00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:58,832 - And now, a special guest 116 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,835 to make your morning announcement. 117 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,538 This is Coach Novak. 118 00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,807 There's gonna be immediate suspension 119 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,410 if anybody's gawking at pornography. 120 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:12,946 - Ha ha. She's really bustin' my chops. 121 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,786 - Hey, guys, this was a real kick. 122 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,021 Don't tell anybody that I, you know, 123 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,490 went over my-- aah! 124 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,759 - Oh! 125 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,563 - Wow. I always thought announcements were... 126 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,432 a way to impart vital information, 127 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,401 but I guess what people like more 128 00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,669 are dumb...stupid dumb jokes. 129 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,571 - Okay, everybody, I'm here. 130 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:38,839 Thank you so much for covering. 131 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,441 I really appreciate it. You're the best. 132 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,043 The best at what? 133 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,579 - He is an odd little duck. 134 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,082 Oh, my God, Heather, thank you for asking, 135 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,718 but, no, I did not get any. 136 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,653 I been commuting to New York to go on dates, 137 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,588 which is a little bit complicated, to say the least. 138 00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,657 But now, for practical reasons, I find myself 139 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,858 considering dating in Toledo. 140 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,627 - Uh, at the risk of being contrary, 141 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:03,163 haven't you already dated in Toledo? 142 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,998 Doesn't your high school ex 143 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,734 - Oh, look. It's you. 144 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,069 Wonderful. Good to see you, Marcus. Yes. 145 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,771 Meredith is the exception, you know. 146 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,673 But there's always gonna be an exception. 147 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,074 You see, sophisticated New York women, 148 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,509 they're really more my type. 149 00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,110 You guys know what type is, right? 150 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,479 Victor, what's your type? 151 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:19,747 - Your type. 152 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,549 Who would you wanna get with? 153 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,784 - Like...if I could marry anyone? 154 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,986 Yeah, sure, man. Whatever. 155 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,721 Just say who it is. 156 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,590 - I don't wanna say. 157 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,759 Oh...is it something weird? Is it like somebody 158 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,594 in your family? - No! 159 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,162 You could just say who it is, 160 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,197 or I could just keep guessing. Is it your sister? 161 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,500 - It's her. - Oh. Cool. 162 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,435 It's somebody who's... in the room. 163 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:42,603 That's great. We can follow up. 164 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:45,706 Grace, do you like Victor? 165 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,174 No! That's too bad. 166 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,776 But you know what, it's gotta feel good 167 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,143 to get that off your chest, clear that up. 168 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,679 All right, guys. Good job, everybody. 169 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,914 See ya tomorrow. Grace... 170 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,649 Good job today. 171 00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,485 Success! 172 00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,957 * 173 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,226 - Oh, look who showed up. 174 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,928 - Yeah, well, it was either this 175 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,163 or a 15-hour bus ride to Long Island, 176 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,732 so...it was a toss-up. 177 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,767 - Mm-hmm. What the hell are you wearing? 178 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,736 I'm sorry--did you just come back from court? 179 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,472 - Yes. And the judge ruled I look awesome. 180 00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:19,573 - Ah! 181 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,509 - Well, we're glad you came. 182 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,676 - Oh, I'm not. 183 00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,044 You don't wanna see me drink. 184 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,680 I get really emotional and clean out my purse. 185 00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,148 It's nuts. - Oh, well, that was 186 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,683 a long way around "no, thank you." 187 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:32,486 - Yeah, she does that. So, Jack, 188 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,054 here's what we're talking about. 189 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,924 Now, I'm looking to catch a financially stable man 190 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:40,227 for a casual yet respectable situationship. 191 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,895 - Hmm. - And Mary over here 192 00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,664 is looking for a scuzzy little liar. 193 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,065 - Oh, you always hated Mark. 194 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,768 - Well, he stole your computer. 195 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,571 - He's fixing the viruses. - No, he's not. 196 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,573 - I'll tell you what kind of guy I like. 197 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,608 My husband Keith. He's so good to me. 198 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,976 He planted me a secret garden. 199 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:58,612 I don't know what's in there. I think it's tomatoes! 200 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,581 Ha ha ha ha. - So what are you 201 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,149 looking for, Jack? - Well... 202 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,585 this one over by the bar seems acceptable to me. 203 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,253 - Oh, she's acceptable. - Oh, yes. 204 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,955 She will serve my needs nicely. - Her parents must be so proud. 205 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,691 - Stop it, I mean, no, she's...she's cute. 206 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:11,859 - That's our yoga teacher Vicky. 207 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,594 - Ah. - Okay, we'll go grease 208 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,029 the runway, but you have to land the plane. 209 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,130 - Uh...I think I got it. 210 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,266 - Okay... 211 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,034 - Yeah. 212 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,003 I, uh... 213 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,606 had sex with the Head of Women's Studies, 214 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,008 so I think I can handle Yoga Vicky, right? 215 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,276 Ah... 216 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,044 - This is who we were talking about. 217 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,146 Jack is so smart 218 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,683 and has so many sweaters... 219 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,018 - So, Jack, we're gonna go grab another drink. 220 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,554 Will you keep our friend Vicky company? 221 00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,322 - Yeah, sure. - Okay. 222 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,257 - Hi, Jack. Nice to meet you. 223 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:45,893 - Hi. It's nice to meet you too. 224 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,895 It's, uh...always nice to meet new people. 225 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,296 I just moved here from Cambridge. 226 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,799 That's where Harvard is. 227 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,000 I taught there. At Harvard. 228 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,069 I was a philosophy professor, so... 229 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,906 - Okay. - At Harvard. 230 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,775 It's a prestigious university in the Northeast. 231 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,243 - I know. 232 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,045 Oh...I have a work emergency. 233 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,815 Michelle told me where you work. 234 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,750 - Well, then you know what this is. 235 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,855 * 236 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:18,091 , 237 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,061 - Morning, boss! 238 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,963 Want a little touch-up before we-- 239 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,965 * 240 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,967 - Dennis, roll it. 241 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,736 I got a new take. 242 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:29,870 Okay... 243 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,105 Ahh. Yeah. 244 00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:35,075 Good mornin', Whitlock High! 245 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,911 Here's the morning announcements in your face! 246 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,279 Ooh! 247 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,248 Guess what's for lunch today. Pizza! 248 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,751 With a side order of hepatitis A. 249 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,919 Ha ha. Cafeteria food. 250 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,220 Sucks! Right? 251 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,922 You know who else has hepatitis A? 252 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,991 Jeremy Jones. 253 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,328 Jeremy will be spending 254 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,831 some time at Children's Hospital, 255 00:09:57,865 --> 00:10:00,333 so everybody sign the big card. 256 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,102 We love you, Jeremy. 257 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:06,106 Oh! My God, a huge celebrity just dropped by. 258 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,142 Yo, whazzup? 259 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:11,411 It's Snoop Da-zoggy Dogg! 260 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,013 Get your tickets 261 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,682 to the Sadie Hawkins dance. 262 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,283 - I think that's blackface. 263 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,617 - Ah, l-- 264 00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:24,024 - Uh, thanks for asking. I don't know. 265 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,760 I don't know. Last night, I opened myself up 266 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:27,961 to dating Toledo women. 267 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,264 One would think. 268 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,233 Uh, no, you know what? I... 269 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,168 I came up empty all night. 270 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,170 You know, I have devoted my entire life 271 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,840 to studying logic and reason, but this... 272 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,276 this night made me question everything. Truly. 273 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,311 I-I-I just-- 274 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,914 I don't know what... went wrong. 275 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,181 - You probably talked about Harvard 276 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,318 and philosophy too much. - Sarika... 277 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,186 you may have stumbled onto something there. 278 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,856 Mm-hmm. You're saying that it was too in their face 279 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,691 how much better I was than them. 280 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:58,959 - That...wasn't really 281 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,694 what I-- - A preemptive self-rejection. 282 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,295 An interesting concept, and I think we should 283 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,931 get it on its feet. Victor. 284 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,265 Please, no more... 285 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,767 - Is that why you've never confessed 286 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,268 your secret crush on Grace? 287 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,203 Because you're afraid that she's going to reject you. 288 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,404 You think that you are beneath her. 289 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,073 Please wake up. 290 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,207 Please wake up. - Grace, do you think 291 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,809 you could ever be into Victor? 292 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,812 What's wrong with him? - I don't want to say. 293 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,347 - Oh. You don't wanna say. 294 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,282 Maybe it's you that's into weird stuff. 295 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:25,052 Maybe I should start guessing-- - I have a secret boyfriend. 296 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,020 - It's not a secret 297 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,221 to the boyfriend. - Okay, this is good. 298 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,090 Yeah, no, okay, so, um, 299 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,059 Grace, who is the lucky guy? 300 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,128 - It's Marcus. 301 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:42,035 - Okay. Well, this has been a surprisingly productive class. 302 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:43,971 Thank you, Grace. Thank you, Victor. 303 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,973 This has been very helpful for me. 304 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,507 Good work. 305 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,410 - Yeah, girl. - I might have to 306 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,245 sneak in there. - Hey, guys. Okay, 307 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,447 so I think you were right. I misplayed it last night. 308 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,051 - I get it, I get it. I hashed it out with my students, 309 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,153 and I realized with my Harvard pedigree, 310 00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,455 I was like a Grace in a bar full of Victors. 311 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,125 But I get it now. Let's get back in there 312 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,094 and let's get after it. I need you guys to wing me. 313 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,462 Let's go. 314 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,131 - Yes! 315 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,265 What was it again? 316 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,167 - Just...be normal. 317 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:17,470 - Right. Just... normal. 318 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,472 - Why are you saying it weird? 319 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,374 - Jack, it's "nermal." Oh, my God, 320 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,076 now I can't say it either. 321 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,511 - Sorry, Jack, it's a no. 322 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,146 - How 'bout this. I'll buy drinks all night. 323 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,414 - Good answer! - Here we go. 324 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,216 - Good answer, good answer. - Normal. 325 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,785 Thank God I got it back. 326 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:32,953 Whew! 327 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,324 - Ooh. Now, there's a sturdy one, 328 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:40,360 looking like he could mow his lawn in a tornado. 329 00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:41,962 - Well, you better give it up 330 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,196 for these pear-shaped men 331 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,165 lookin' just like they mamas. - Mmm... 332 00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,934 - Hey, hey. What do you guys think? 333 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,235 Took your advice. - You know, 334 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,569 mm-mm, I'm sorry, I forgot, ladies. 335 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,371 Was our advice to make him look like 336 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:54,507 a cell phone salesman from the mall kiosk? 337 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,443 - Ha ha ha ha. No, no, no. 338 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,545 This is so the Toledo women will not be intimidated by me. 339 00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,281 - Oh, so you think this is what's normal here? 340 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,051 - Yep. Tonight I'm just normal old Toledo Jack. 341 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,586 Oh, waiter? Yeah. Can I get a plate of cheese fries 342 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,055 and any kind of a beer 343 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,090 that's got a landscape on the can. 344 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,860 Let's do this! 345 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:16,997 . 346 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:17,831 - All right, guys, ready to set me up? 347 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,133 Grease the runway? 348 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,601 - No, no, no, no, no, Toledo Jack. 349 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,070 We wants no parts 350 00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,537 of whatever is happening here. - Right. 351 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,573 But do leave your tab open--thank you. 352 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,076 - Yeah, yeah. All right, here we go. 353 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,878 - Good luck. - Watch him leave. 354 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,880 Look--Look at it. Look at his belt. 355 00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,282 - Ah...man. Feels good to sit down. 356 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,984 Can I buy you a drink? 357 00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,953 - Sure, I'll... I'll have another house wine. 358 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,255 - Great. Another house wine, please. 359 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,357 Yeah, so... 360 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,526 Isis. 361 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,129 Don't those guys drive you nuts? 362 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,931 - You know, for me, 363 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,866 it's like, ah, God, stop, you know? 364 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,302 You make me sick. 365 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,569 - Yeah. Isis isn't great. 366 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,039 - Yeah. No. It's like, you know-- 367 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:04,544 [background chatter, music playing] 368 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:05,879 Ahh...hey. 369 00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:08,281 Are you, uh, an organ donor? 370 00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,250 - Yeah, of course. - Of course you are. Me too. 371 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,920 I would love to be able to...you know, donate my-- 372 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,454 I mean, I don't wanna die, but if I did, 373 00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:17,991 I wanna give some kid the gift of sight, you know? 374 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,459 Maybe I would get to see the world 375 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,928 through a child's eyes again. 376 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,063 Is that how it works? I don't know. 377 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,298 I'm just some normal guy. I don't read much. 378 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:31,238 . 379 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,172 - * I love gin juice That is funny. 380 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,641 * Drivin' in my car 381 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,243 * Gin juice 382 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,046 - Is there anything that I can do before I go? 383 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:42,415 - No, uh, Helen, I think you've done enough. 384 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,484 - Ralph, is there something-- 385 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,386 Can you do that, Helen? Can you close the door? 386 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,655 Or is that too simple? Do you need to 387 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,223 put like a fun spin on it. 388 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,092 Or can I have. The door. Closed. 389 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,261 Which is...all I ever... wanted? 390 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,698 See how easy that was? 391 00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,967 - Oh, no. - Excellent. 392 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,568 - I'm doing this! 393 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,703 - This place sucks. - Please. 394 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,372 Did you think that wearing a golf shirt 395 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,407 and talking about organ donors would work? 396 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,276 I think you're afraid 397 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,444 you'll meet someone and like Toledo. 398 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,280 - Ooh! Michelle, comin' through with the realness. 399 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,315 And while you're "slumming" it 400 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,150 with the commoners... - Here we go. 401 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:19,987 - You're missing out on some fabulous women. 402 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,488 Okay? - Truth bomb. 403 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,457 - All right, well, thanks for the therapy, buds, 404 00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,559 I appreciate it, but I'm done with this place. 405 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,996 - Oh, stay! We're gonna get some fire wings 406 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,097 and do pucker shots. 407 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,631 - Plus, Michelle is drinking, 408 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:35,202 and so we might need a white man to talk to the cops. 409 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,736 - Well, this was fun, but I think I'm gonna 410 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,072 close out my tab. Sorry, guys. - Oh... 411 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,275 - Hey, can I close out, please? Thanks. 412 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,611 - Not a single imported beer. 413 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,613 God, I forgot I'm in Garbage City. 414 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,149 - It's actually Glass City. 415 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,519 - Yeah, no thanks. 416 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,621 I'm good. I don't need to update my cell phone plan. 417 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,256 - Oh, no, no, these clothes-- 418 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,991 I'm doing a social experiment. 419 00:15:58,025 --> 00:16:00,994 I'm actually just in town for a brief stint. 420 00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:02,295 I'm taking a break from Harvard. 421 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,164 - Oh. 422 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,066 Forget that. 423 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,367 I-I'm jack. 424 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,502 I take it you're not from around here either? 425 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,404 - Chloe. From Baltimore. 426 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,706 - Yeah, I can see that you enjoy this city 427 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,075 about as much as I do. 428 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,309 - It's the worst. - Yeah. 429 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,045 - Oh, don't even try getting decent sushi. 430 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,579 - It's impossible. 431 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,481 I worry about 432 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,250 the doctors. I mean, if you're actually good at surgery, 433 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,584 what are you doing here? I mean, how did you 434 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,219 not move to Chicago? 435 00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:27,754 - Well, at least the people are amazing. 436 00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,322 - Oh, yeah. I mean 437 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,291 like that guy over there with his gut hanging out? 438 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,760 He just invited me to his summer home in Provence. 439 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,428 - Oh, I have to. 440 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:37,064 - I think you should. 441 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,199 - Check this out. See da Vinci over there? 442 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,068 Yeah, he just invited me to check out 443 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,435 this crazy new invention 444 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:45,138 that he's never even tried called "a fork." 445 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,174 - We shouldn't be too hard on this place. 446 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,608 - No. I mean, after all, 447 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,710 there is a table of scientists right over there. 448 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,613 Really? - Yeah. 449 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,515 - Ugh! They're brilliant. 450 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,684 - Booyah! These shots are not gonna drink themselves. 451 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,388 - Hey, you wanna get outta here 452 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,356 before the dumb rubs off on us? 453 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,493 - Uh, uh... 454 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,628 - I think they're just having fun. 455 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,630 And, uh, actually, 456 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,165 they're friends of mine. 457 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,201 - Right! My friend is here too. 458 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,668 Right over there. She's the lady 459 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,537 that brought her newborn to the bar. 460 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,106 Busties! 461 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,840 - Yeah, first of all, you really know 462 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,609 how to run a joke into the ground. 463 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,644 Secondly, I wasn't kidding. 464 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,379 They really are friends of mine. 465 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,348 You know what? No. I'm gonna keep this open. 466 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,350 Can I get three blue pucker shots, please? 467 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,386 Uh, actually... make it four. 468 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,521 Also... 469 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,856 Baltimore-- It's a third-rate city. 470 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,660 It sucks. And you have dead women buried in your parks. 471 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,730 * 472 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,665 Ladies, some shots. - Hey! 473 00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,834 - It looks like you were making it happen with that one. 474 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,402 What'd you mess up this time? 475 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,271 But it looked like you guys 476 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,140 were having more fun over here, so I figured I join you 477 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,241 and stay. - Okay! 478 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,276 - All right! - Hey, hey! 479 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:57,810 - Mm. - Yeah! 480 00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,746 Tornado Dance! 481 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,414 - Yeah... - Uh... 482 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,116 excuse you? 483 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,417 Yeah? - No, no, no, no, no. 484 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,419 - Sorry. Sorry, that's on us. 485 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,121 - It's not worth it, girl, it's not worth it. 486 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,423 Walk away. 487 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:12,692 . 488 00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,765 * 489 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,201 - Oops. It looks like there's a little lighting issue. 490 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,636 There's a shadow. You want me to fix that? 491 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,438 - Yeah, sure, Helen. Why don't you just 492 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,341 take over the whole production? - I can't take this anymore! 493 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,909 What is this about, Ralph? 494 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,313 - Dennis, a moment. 495 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,248 You really don't know what this is about, do you? 496 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,716 Morning announcements were my chance 497 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,385 to be the cool guy, 498 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,586 to connect with the students, 499 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,887 and you took them from me! 500 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,190 - Oh, Ralph, why would I ever do anything 501 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,524 to hurt you? 502 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,559 You pulled me up from the gutter. 503 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,195 You're an amazing man. 504 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,197 I would never take the announcements from you. 505 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,865 Well, it's too late. I'm awake now, Helen. 506 00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:54,567 I thought I had this game cornered, 507 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:55,902 then you came in and did it in a way 508 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,870 that I didn't know what possible! 509 00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,739 I'm a fraud. - No. 510 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,809 - You should do them! - Oh! I should do them. 511 00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:06,413 Ha! You think that's what people want? 512 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:10,450 Me runnin' around like a big, dumb goof? 513 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,853 I do that crap for my nephew, and he's five. 514 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,155 Forever, if you know what I mean. 515 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,326 - Holy crap. Is that thing on? 516 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,360 - Oh-- 517 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,765 - I don't understand what they see in you. 518 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,540 - Well...this is fun! 519 00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:35,242 Who, uh, who started all this? 520 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,609 - You! 521 00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,411 Well, this is already awesome. 522 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,912 Explain. - When you revealed 523 00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,581 that Victor liked Grace, we also found out 524 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,483 she had a secret boyfriend, Marcus. 525 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,684 But she was actually protecting 526 00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,286 her real secret boyfriend, Devin, 527 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,688 not realizing Marcus is secretly dating Sarika, 528 00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:49,989 who got super-jealous. 529 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,259 So Sarika decided to revenge-date Devin. 530 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,861 But Devin is fluid, so he may actually like me. 531 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,763 And unrelatedly, Colin lost his retainer 532 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,365 and is afraid to tell his mom, 533 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,767 and no one is talking to anyone, a-and we're drowning! 534 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,935 Colin, you need to just tell your mom. 535 00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,272 - Okay, hey, guys, guys, guys. 536 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,840 Wow! You are being far too dramatic. 537 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,877 I mean, don't you realize how meaningless 538 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,545 these little teenage crushes are? 539 00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:15,715 Come on, only adult romances actually mean anything. 540 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,384 Look, the point is, you should 541 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,352 all just be focused on your friendships. 542 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,322 Don't worry about all this petty dating stuff. 543 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,291 Okay? You should all be downing shots together 544 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,960 and doing dances based on natural disasters, you know? 545 00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:30,297 Leave all this other crap behind, you know? 546 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:33,700 Otherwise, you're just gonna be stuck in Toledo goin' it alone. 547 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,636 Look, you're gonna have your whole lives 548 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,738 to worry about dating, 'kay? 549 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,039 Right now, honestly, you should probably 550 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,509 just be focused on masturbating. 551 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,444 You guys all masturbate, right? 552 00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,845 Yeah? 553 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,280 Show of hands real quick. 554 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:50,850 - Oh, no... 555 00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,854 - Yeah, that's tough. That's tough. 556 00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:03,029 - I noticed you weren't entangled 557 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,632 in any of the love triangles. 558 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,033 You prefer to stay above the fray. 559 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:10,303 - I don't mess with this kid stuff. 560 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,739 I'm looking for a real woman. 561 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,012 .