1
00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:02,735
You know,
I really like
playing with you.

2
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,470
Of course
you really like
playing with me.

3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,505
That's because you know
you can beat me.

4
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:09,040
Oh, come on.
What's your handicap?

5
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,177
My leg.

6
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,383
Why you always
throw the bad leg
up in my face?

7
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:17,185
"Oh, I got shot
in the war.

8
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:20,048
"They had to put
six grooves in my hip,

9
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:22,058
"and one is shorter
than the other."

10
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:24,760
Just give me
my two dollars.

11
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,392
You would think
you'd feel bad

12
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,827
taking money
from an old man
with a cane.

13
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,202
You'd think I would.
But I don't.

14
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,100
(CLEARING THROAT)

15
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:38,273
Well, at least
I broke 90.

16
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:41,406
Unfortunately,
I was on the eighth hole
at the time.

17
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,742
(LAUGHING)

18
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,114
That's a joke, son.

19
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,176
Oh!

20
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,154
(LAUGHING)

21
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,821
Actually, I'm just glad
I didn't break my hip.

22
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,720
(LAUGHING)

23
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:53,793
That's not a joke.

24
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:54,821
Oh.

25
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:59,290
Don't worry.
I'll get my money back
when we play on Saturday.

26
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:00,757
Oh, no.
Not this Saturday.

27
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,534
Why not?
It's my anniversary.

28
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:03,633
Oh, really?

29
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,374
Yeah.
What've you got planned?

30
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,599
Oh, she's gonna love this.
It's my 15th.

31
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,595
This year
I'm gonna surprise Jay.

32
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,437
Because I've tried
in the past,

33
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,712
but she got the kids,
you know, to spy on me
and then they ruin it.

34
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,511
That's 'cause she got them
under her control, you know.

35
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,553
She controls
the snacks and stuff.

36
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,548
Like her mama.
That's how her mama
used to work her.

37
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,620
Pull out some
little candy
from the bra.

38
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,749
A piece of cupcake.

39
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,154
(BOTH LAUGHING)

40
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,157
With a lit candle in it.

41
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,690
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

42
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,657
Hey, it's open.

43
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,666
What's up, Wanda?
What are you doing here?

44
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,898
Well, that's not a very warm
greeting for an old friend
who comes bearing gifts.

45
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,844
What? You got a big screen TV
hidden in your back pocket?

46
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:46,341
No. But thank you
for suggesting
what could fit there.

47
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:47,744
Oh, sorry.

48
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:52,275
But what I do have
is your front row ticket
to the brown mound of sound.

49
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,323
No! Not...
Mr. Brian McKnight!

50
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,648
(SCREAMING)

51
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,692
God, I love Mr. Brian!

52
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:03,891
* One, you're like
a dream come true

53
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:07,564
* Two, you buckle my shoes

54
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:08,655
* Three

55
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:11,466
* You want to be with me

56
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,399
Girl, this is
unbelievable!

57
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:16,304
Oh, girl,
we're gonna make it
girls' night out.

58
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:19,637
Angie, Lisa, Stephanie
and Susanne are all coming.
Oh.

59
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:24,513
We're gonna have drinks,
appetizers and then
the main course,

60
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,452
fillet of Brian.

61
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,581
(SLURPING)

62
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,416
Oh, no.

63
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:34,524
What?

64
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:35,855
Girl, I can't go.

65
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,629
What do you mean
you can't go?

66
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,758
Saturday is our 15th
wedding anniversary, Wanda.

67
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,504
Celebrate on Sunday.

68
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,400
Sunday is not
our wedding anniversary.

69
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:47,542
I don't know
why you keep celebrating
a shotgun wedding anyway.

70
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,368
Okay. Maybe it wasn't
the wedding of my dreams,

71
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,714
but at least it was
with the man of my dreams.

72
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:55,540
Oh, you actually think
it's gonna make a difference

73
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,376
to baldilocks
whether you celebrate it
on Saturday or Sunday?

74
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,252
Of course it will.

75
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,251
Our anniversary
is very important
to Michael.

76
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,823
And I think
he has something
special planned.

77
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,722
Oh, what makes you
think that?

78
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:11,464
'Cause my baby is romantic.
Let me tell you what he did
five years ago.

79
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:15,762
He got us the penthouse suite
at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel.
The room was candlelit.

80
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:19,766
Dom Perignon on ice
and rose petals
all over the bed.

81
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:21,674
Ooh.

82
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:25,372
Michael is sweet and sensitive
and loves his woman.

83
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,806
I mean,
the man can't even
walk into a room

84
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,780
without giving me
a big, wet, juicy kiss.

85
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,649
Here he comes.
Hey, baby.

86
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,409
What's up?
What's up?

87
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:38,648
(EXCLAIMS)

88
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,491
Don't start with me,
peanut head.

89
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,393
Why can't you two
just get along for once?

90
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,396
You know what, Jay?
You're right.

91
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:49,498
We do this every time
we see each other, Wanda.

92
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,670
Can't we just,
like, be friends?

93
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:54,599
Really?
No.

94
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:58,305
Oh, oh, before I forget.
Jay, don't make
any plans Saturday.

95
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:00,666
Oh, you have
something planned?

96
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,778
Yeah. I'm golfing
with Johnny.

97
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:06,510
So, I need you to be here
because Saturday night...
It's on.

98
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:07,677
It is, baby?

99
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,545
Yeah. The cable's gonna
finally be on.

100
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,554
And I need you here
to let the satellite
dish guy in. Okay?

101
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:19,763
Satellite TV
on your anniversary!

102
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,333
That's so romantic!

103
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,462
No!

104
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,404
No. No, 'cause I know
he is a clever man.

105
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,404
See, I know
what he's trying to do.

106
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,965
He's trying to make me think
that he's forgotten.

107
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,473
Mmm-hmm.
I'm just gonna play along.

108
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,565
Okay?
Hmm, okay.

109
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,606
(DOOR SLAMS)

110
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,341
What is wrong with you?

111
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:36,606
I hate men.

112
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,454
(SIGHING)

113
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:40,449
Well, don't go eating
every time a man
breaks your heart.

114
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,551
That's what happened to me.
See this little pocket
of jiggly right here.

115
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:47,424
Steven Johnson, '89.
See these saddle bags
right here?

116
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:49,655
That's Eugene Clark, '95.

117
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,830
See these?
Well, my mama
gave me those.

118
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,464
Yeah? Whatever.

119
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,467
That girl too skinny.
I couldn't even make
a decent broth out of her.

120
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,039
Now, you sure
you won't reconsider?

121
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:08,110
Mmm. I love Brian
but I love Michael more. No.

122
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:12,381
Well, the way I see it,
you're gonna be stuck
in this marriage forever.

123
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:16,623
But Brian is only in town
for one midnight.

124
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,763
And if you actually
think Lou Gossett

125
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,730
has remembered
your anniversary...

126
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,732
He hasn't forgotten, Wanda.

127
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,395
God! I hope
he hasn't forgotten.

128
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:41,407
MICHAEL: It's been
another intense day
of record-setting heat

129
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:44,409
with intense rainfall
and tornadoes

130
00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:46,512
which have swept
through this country club

131
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,877
leaving these greens
as bumpy as the back of
Michael Clarke Duncan's head.

132
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:59,062
And it's come down to
the two most handsome
men in the PGA,

133
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,460
Michael Kyle
and Tiger Woods.

134
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:06,796
And if I was a betting man,
I wouldn't put my money
on the big-toothed fella.

135
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:15,440
Here it is. The final putt
for the million dollar
Masters Championship

136
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:18,753
and that God awful
green jacket.

137
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,179
Okay, baby, get on in there
and talk to your father.

138
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,686
Oh, come on, Mom.
You know I end up
getting in trouble.

139
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,459
Do I have to remind you
that I gave you life?

140
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,716
Yeah. But he can
take it away from me.

141
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,928
Junior,
go on in, please.

142
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,059
(SIGHS)

143
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,061
Hey, Dad.

144
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,930
What're you up to?

145
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,936
Nothing. I just gave away
my Masters jacket.
That's what I'm up to.

146
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:44,709
By the way,
what're your plans
for the weekend?

147
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,838
I'm going to "none ya."

148
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:46,943
Where's that?

149
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,084
None ya business.

150
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:50,983
Well, what's your plan?

151
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,051
I don't have any.

152
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,479
Good. You know what?
Let me make you some plans.

153
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,222
I tell you what.
You can plan on

154
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,489
washing my car and cleaning
the gutters this Saturday.

155
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:01,959
Oh, Dad, I just remembered.
I have to go read
to some orphans.

156
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:03,089
Too late.

157
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,062
Okay, what did he say?

158
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,104
He's playing golf
and I'm washing his car.
Thanks a lot, Mom.

159
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,695
Never send a boy
to do a woman's job.

160
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,511
Babe, are you gonna be
on that computer all night?

161
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:22,108
Or you gonna
come to bed with me?

162
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,682
I'll give you a thriller
in the pillow.

163
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:29,782
Hmm. A little rumble
in the jungle.
Heat between the sheets.

164
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,887
Oh, man. Baby,
what's going on here?

165
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,760
Hmm?
You ain't crashed
the car again, did you?

166
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,818
No, babe.
I mean, come on.

167
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:40,227
Can't a girl show her
beloved husband how much
she appreciates him?

168
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:43,000
Sure. Oh, that feels good.

169
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,900
Mmm. Like that?
Mmm-hmm.

170
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:48,072
It's reflexology.
I'm stimulating
your chakras.

171
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,201
This right here is
your throat chakra.

172
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,007
This right here is
your heart chakra.

173
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,069
Mmm-hmm.

174
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,136
And this right here...

175
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,014
Uh-oh, that's
the Chakra Zulu.

176
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,908
You're so crazy.

177
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,848
You still make me laugh
after all these years.

178
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:06,994
You know, babe, sometimes
it just feels like yesterday
we got together, doesn't it?

179
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,190
It sure does.

180
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,721
Mmm.

181
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,217
Mash that bunion
down for me.

182
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,225
Babe, how long
has it been?

183
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,233
I don't know.
It's been a while

184
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,825
since you played
with my chakra.

185
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:23,567
I'm talking about
how long have we been married?

186
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:26,571
I don't know.
It just feels like forever.

187
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,944
Oh, what chakra's that!
Oww!

188
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,748
Hey, I made some of
your favorite foods.

189
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,622
Whoa! What do
we have here?

190
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:44,124
Hot wings.
Hot tater tots.
Hot damn!

191
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,227
And peach cobbler
for dessert.

192
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:49,059
Peach...
Baby, what did I do
to deserve all of this?

193
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,256
Nothing. You just be
my baby, that's all.

194
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:54,068
Just be your baby?
Baby want to nurse
afterwards.

195
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,141
(BABBLING)
Just shut up. Stop.

196
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,236
Girl, you sure know
how to spoil your man.

197
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,044
Mmm-hmm.

198
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:06,606
First you
make my Chakra Khan.
Chakra Khan. Chakra Khan.

199
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,778
Stupid.

200
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:12,287
And then, all of this.

201
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:16,119
Wait a minute.
Wait just
a doggone minute.

202
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,026
I know why you're being
so nice to me.

203
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,288
What're you...
I'm always nice, Michael.

204
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,627
No. You're so obvious.

205
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:26,233
You don't have to go
through all this to get
me to remember, baby.

206
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,296
Oh, Michael.

207
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,644
Yes.

208
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:32,766
When I say
I'm gonna mow the lawn,
I'm gonna mow the lawn.

209
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:36,136
Mom, Dad, Claire's
driving me crazy and
I can't take it anymore.

210
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,036
What's wrong now, Junior?

211
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,777
She broke up with
her boyfriend, Tony.

212
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,012
Oh, thank the Lord.

213
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:44,718
But now she's playing
the same sad love song
over and over again.

214
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:46,192
I can't concentrate
on my homework.

215
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:49,259
Oh, you got to concentrate
to bring home two Ds and an F?

216
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,089
What about the two Cs, huh?

217
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,264
See, he never remembers
the good stuff.

218
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,062
(EXCLAIMS)

219
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,232
Okay, come on.
Let's go talk to Claire.
We need to go talk to Claire.

220
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:04,638
"We"? Baby,
I thought that this was one
of those mother-daughter,

221
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:08,342
estrogenic type
of moments, you know.

222
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,305
No. I think
a male point of view
might help. Come on.

223
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,954
All right, baby. I'm coming.
Let's just hurry this up.

224
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,652
And, Junior,
you touch my chicken,

225
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,954
I'm gonna bend
your arm up like
one of them wings.

226
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,964
* No more drama in my life

227
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:29,333
* No one's gonna
make me hurt again

228
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,962
Claire, it's your
mom and your dad.

229
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:34,698
* Hurt again

230
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,309
* Why'd I play the fool

231
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,108
* Go through ups and downs

232
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:46,051
* Knowing all the time
you wouldn't be around

233
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,179
* Or maybe
I liked the stress

234
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,045
* 'Cause I was young
and restless

235
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,294
* But that was long ago

236
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,260
* I don't wanna
cry no more

237
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:59,129
* No more pain,
no more pain

238
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,904
* Help me

239
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,130
(TURNS MUSIC OFF)

240
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:09,195
Baby, we are so sorry.
We just heard about
your break up.

241
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,306
Where did you hear it?
On clairecan'tkeepaman.com

242
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,239
I'll never walk out
of this room again.

243
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,244
You keep eating
all these goodies,

244
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,305
you're not gonna be able
to fit out the door.

245
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,214
Hey, you got to watch
your sugar intake.

246
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:22,916
You're already
genetically predisposed
to being a little thick.

247
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,753
That wasn't
even necessary.

248
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,021
Baby, I'm just being honest.

249
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:32,027
Do I run around the house
telling Junior

250
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:35,129
that he's genetically
predisposed to looking
like a brown egg?

251
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,130
Hello? Guys, this is
about me, remember?

252
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,337
Oh, right. Yeah.
Oh, she's right.

253
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,469
Okay. Talk to us.
Tell us what happened.

254
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,044
No.

255
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,413
Okay. Fine.
I'll be downstairs
with my chicken

256
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,940
when you want
to open up. Okay?

257
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:52,277
Great effort, Dad.
You're a regular
Bill Cosby.

258
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:57,052
(MIMICKING BILL COSBY)
Well, would you tell me
if I gave you a pudding pop?

259
00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,794
Perhaps you get
the flipped flavor--

260
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,791
Okay! I'll tell you if you quit
doing that bad impression.

261
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,034
How can you call
my impression bad?

262
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:09,298
I felt like I really captured
when I got into the back...

263
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,459
(MUTTERING COSBY IMPRESSION)

264
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,528
Dad, shut up.

265
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,796
I'm... I mean,
I'm really trying
to express how I feel.

266
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,207
Okay. I'm sorry.

267
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,308
What happened, honey?

268
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,909
Tony is cheating on me.

269
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:23,911
I knew it!
I could tell by his
little, beady eyes.

270
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,554
Erica was at the one
basketball game
that I missed.

271
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,319
She said there was
a beautiful girl
there cheering

272
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,548
every time Tony
made a basket.

273
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,422
Say what?
Mmm-hmm.

274
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,288
That's it? That means
he was cheating?

275
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:41,434
Well, isn't it obvious?
The one game that
my baby girl doesn't go to,

276
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:44,231
and that little rat-eyed boy
is looking for someone else.

277
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,274
No, stop.

278
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:48,198
Baby, that's what rats do.
They start to scurry.

279
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,895
They look around to see
what they can get
their little hands on,

280
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,268
and then they get trapped
by Bill Cosby.

281
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,936
(MIMICKING BILL COSBY)
And they start to run
and try to get on the wheel.

282
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:59,506
And they're moving their feet,
they're moving real fast
in the rat machine.

283
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:04,476
Hey, little rat fella,
I got a sweater
that looks like you.

284
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,317
And get this.
At the end of the game,

285
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,493
Erica asked her
why she was
cheering for him

286
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,591
and she said because
Tony was her sweetie-pie.

287
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,863
Mmm. Mmm-mmm.
Guilty as charged.

288
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,431
Did you talk to Tony
about this?

289
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,932
Did you give him
a chance to explain?

290
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:19,174
No. I told him
it was over
and I hung up.

291
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,439
Good for you.
Here's five MandMs
for the courage.

292
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:26,474
You know what?
You're really,
really not helping.

293
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,876
Baby, you have got to
communicate with Tony.

294
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,909
That is the secret
to any good relationship.

295
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,954
How do you think
your father and I have
hung in there for so long?

296
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,381
Unplanned pregnancies?

297
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,375
Ow!

298
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,586
You said you wanted
the male point of view.

299
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,418
I'm giving you
the male point of view.

300
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:43,623
Go point your view
back at the television.
Bye-bye, Michael. Bye-bye.

301
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,186
Okay.

302
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,329
And you all really
didn't like the Cosby?

303
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,433
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Hey, hey, hey.
Bye, Michael.

304
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:54,174
I'll be on my way.

305
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:57,371
Claire, honey,
you cannot run around
angry at somebody,

306
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,914
and they don't
even know why.
That's childish.

307
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,977
Relationships are built
on honesty and trust.

308
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,310
Okay, Mom.
Okay?

309
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,305
Now, I need you
to do me a favor.

310
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,917
Go downstairs and spy
on your father for me.

311
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:20,392
Wanda, I'm telling you.
He's gonna come through.
I have faith in Michael.

312
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,957
Yeah... Look, if you want
to give the ticket away,
just give it away, okay?

313
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,467
(DOOR OPENING)

314
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,936
Oh, hey, baby.

315
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,638
Hey, baby.

316
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:30,939
Where you going so fast?

317
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,371
I got to go
to the bathroom.

318
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,365
What you got in your hand?

319
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,336
I told you I got to go
to the bathroom, right?

320
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:39,305
(SHRIEKS) Girl!
I told you Michael
was gonna come through.

321
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:43,146
I just caught a glimpse
of a Tiffany's box
in the man's hand.

322
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,953
Yes. No, he ran upstairs
so he could hide it,
so he could surprise me.

323
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,646
I'll call you back
after I find it. Bye.

324
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:03,667
Where is it, where is it?
He always puts them in here.

325
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,213
No. He wouldn't
put it in here.

326
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,338
Where, where, where?

327
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,351
Hey, baby.
What you doing up here?

328
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:17,483
Just relaxing.

329
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:21,187
Oh. You sure look cute
when you relax.

330
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,361
(GIGGLES)

331
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,173
Six, seven...

332
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:37,273
What you doing now?

333
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,374
Pushups.

334
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,505
But I thought
you was relaxing.

335
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,439
No. I got tired
of relaxing.

336
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,284
Well, if you're gonna
do it, you got to go
all the way down.

337
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,211
Go all the way.

338
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,276
Now, that's a picture.
Twelve.

339
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,554
Yeah.
It's harder, too.

340
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:49,721
I know. Yeah.

341
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,647
Twelve...

342
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,094
(PANTING)

343
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,690
Okay. All right.

344
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,532
Come on.
I think he would...

345
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,504
Oh, man.

346
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,500
(EXCLAIMS)

347
00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:12,668
What is going on
out here?

348
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,605
I'm... I'm cleaning out
the closet.

349
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,377
With what? A bomb?

350
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,181
Did you fall?
I heard a noise.

351
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,376
Oh, I'm fine.

352
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,487
You sure? You positive?

353
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,148
Mmm. Yes.

354
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,587
Okay. Could you go
make me a sandwich
please, baby?

355
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:29,621
I'm starving.

356
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,364
Okay, Michael.

357
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,162
Just leave that for later.

358
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,497
Hey, babe.

359
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,172
Yes?
I forgot to
give you something.

360
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,372
You did, Michael?

361
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,143
Mmm-hmm.
You did?

362
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,442
Okay. You got to
close your eyes.

363
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,583
Okay.

364
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,138
You know what
I'm gonna give you?

365
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,677
No!
Do you have any idea?

366
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,481
I don't have a clue.

367
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,353
Okay. I'm gonna
give you some sugar.

368
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:01,490
Sugar!

369
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,085
Yeah. Thanks.

370
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,103
Okay, baby.
Now's a good time.

371
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,535
He's eating.
He's vulnerable.

372
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,609
Like a gazelle
at a watering hole.

373
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,284
Mom, you're gonna
get me in trouble.

374
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,380
You already got Junior
on carwash duty.

375
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:29,422
Your dad's not gonna
punish you.
You're his favorite.

376
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,519
After Kady.
Now get in there.

377
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:36,618
Hi, Dad.

378
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,126
Hey, baby.

379
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,132
What's going on?

380
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:42,557
Nothing. And what's
going on with you?

381
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,125
Nothing.

382
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,328
(LAUGHING)

383
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,138
What's so funny?

384
00:17:57,177 --> 00:18:00,177
Oh, nothing.
It was just this episode
of The Flintstones.

385
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:03,183
It was the one where Fred
forgot their anniversary

386
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:06,286
and Wilma hit him
in the head with this
big Brontosaurus bone.

387
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:08,894
Did you ever
see that one?

388
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,221
No.

389
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,588
Oh, but I did see
the one where Fred

390
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,196
had this evil twin
and he was walking
around going

391
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,569
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

392
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,168
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

393
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,301
Yabba-Dabba-Doo...

394
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:28,176
Yabba-Dabba-Doo.
Yabba-Dabba,
Yabba-Dabba-Doo...

395
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,175
Dad, will you shut up?
Hmm?

396
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,177
Shut up?

397
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,179
This is the second time today
you told me to shut up.

398
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,184
You know what?
You're grounded
Saturday, miss.

399
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:40,346
I'm grounded?
That's not fair!
Why am I grounded?

400
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,917
This is one of those
great moments
in parenting. Okay.

401
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,185
Now, I want you
to look at my face

402
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:48,295
and see how happy I am
as I respond to your answer.

403
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:52,428
Okay? I want you to watch
this eye in particular,
what it does. Okay.

404
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,495
Ask me again.

405
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,203
Why am I grounded?

406
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,308
Because... I said so.

407
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,869
You see how it rolls up
like that?

408
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,406
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What did you find out?

409
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:08,215
I found out that
I'm grounded Saturday,
thanks to you.

410
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,954
So, you know Saturday
is a special day
for Daddy and me, right?

411
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,287
I know.

412
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:18,293
You know?
What do you know?

413
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,355
I heard Daddy
talking about stuff.

414
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:24,503
You did? Come here, baby.
Come here. Sit next to Mommy.
What did Daddy say?

415
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:28,341
Well, he said he was gonna
have to call his friends.

416
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,568
I'm gonna have a party.

417
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,242
(LAUGHING)

418
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,971
I'm gonna have a party.

419
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,235
(EXCLAIMS)
Tell me! Really?
What else?

420
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,975
He got a driver.

421
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,849
I'm gonna get a limo, too?

422
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:41,378
But he said he was gonna
have to stick it
in the same old bag.

423
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,815
Oh, no. He...

424
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,451
He means he's playing golf.
Come here. Come here.

425
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,759
Listen to me.
I need for you
to go downstairs

426
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:57,902
and talk to your father
and see what he's planning
on Saturday evening, okay?

427
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,430
Okay. I'll see
what I can dig up.

428
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:02,236
That's my girl
right there.
Oh, Kady.

429
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:03,739
Be inconspicuous.

430
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:04,970
Okay.

431
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:06,514
All right.

432
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,535
Hey, baby.

433
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:13,477
Daddy, Mommy wants to know
what you're planning
for Saturday.

434
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:14,553
Golf.

435
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,551
What about Saturday night?

436
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:20,253
Saturday night?
Oh! The fight is on
Saturday night.

437
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,320
Okay.

438
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,515
Daddy?
Hmm?

439
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,386
What's "inspisuous"?

440
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:26,785
Inconspicuous?

441
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,456
Uh-huh.
It's everything
you're not.

442
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,396
A fight Saturday night?

443
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,895
That's what he said.

444
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,366
Oh, there's gonna be
a fight, all right.
Thank you, Kady.

445
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,276
MICHAEL: Next time on
My Wife and Kids...

446
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:49,353
Oh, Claire. Your daddy
is something else.

447
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:52,692
Girl, he really had me
going for a while,
then he sent me these.

448
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,749
"Love, Tony." Tony?

449
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,487
Oh, my God.
They're for me.

450
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,063
What?

451
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,330
You forgot what today is.
The most important day
of our lives!

452
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,428
And you went
to go play golf.

453
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,063
Oh, that felt good.

454
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:09,867
Janet Marie,
will you marry me tonight
for our anniversary?

455
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:12,671
Yes!

456
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:14,465
(SINGING BACK AT ONE)

457
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:19,646
Oh, my God.
Tell me that is not
Brian McKnight.

458
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:20,749
That's not
Brian McKnight.

459
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,080
Yes, it is, Junior.

460
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,554
Then why did you just
tell me to tell you...

461
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:24,783
Shut up, boy,
and get me
to the altar.

462
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:25,787
(SIGHS)