1
00:00:00,041 --> 00:00:00,041
25.000

2
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,018
{Y:i}Stay with us for
blood-chilling suspense...

3
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,104
{Y:i}...blackmail, murder,
intrigue and love.

4
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,315
{Y:i}Next on Channel 8.

5
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:13,068
{Y:i}-a tourist, visiting a friend,
was struck...

6
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:16,696
{Y:i}...by a 30-pound block as he
walk ed down the stage-door alley.

7
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,574
{Y:i}The cinder block hit me
on the flat side...

8
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,369
{Y:i}...of the block itself,
as if it were hurled at me.

9
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,829
{Y:i}-when the ferry dock ed,
he was napping.

10
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:29,334
{Y:i}A deck hand wok e him and told him
to drive off. But Max was in reverse.

11
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:32,712
{Y:i}He went right off the back of the ferry.
He drowned.

12
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:36,216
{Y:i}But if you were complaining
about the weather this week end...

13
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,927
{Y:i}...it could have been worse.
A series of floods...

14
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,680
-I guess it's that time.
-You want any help?

15
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,810
There was a terrific recipe for capon
in the Times today.

16
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,438
Takes two minutes.

17
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,816
{Y:i}The National Guard has been
called out...

18
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:54,984
{Y:i}...and some people may have to-

19
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:26,016
Enid, someone's moving into
the Warren place.

20
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,767
So?

21
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:31,354
It's a funny time to be moving.

22
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,358
I don't see any kids' stuff.

23
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,193
Thank God.

24
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:46,745
Maybe we should ask them over
for a drink tonight.

25
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:50,206
-It being their first night and all.
-Tomorrow will be fine.

26
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,667
Well, tomorrow's not tonight,
you know.

27
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:56,004
-And it would be nice.
-There's plenty of time to be nice.

28
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,256
You don't have to push it.

29
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,753
I think they've got a dog.

30
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:40,423
Kalinqashe, the dog spirit,
is swift and faithful.

31
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:44,969
I don't care. I don't want him
in my garden digging up my bulbs.

32
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,390
Who would want your bulbs?

33
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,619
Hello.

34
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:56,249
-What can I do for you?
-Anything you like.

35
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,461
The question is,
what do you want in return?

36
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:09,304
Hi. I'm Ramona.
I just moved in next door.

37
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,557
-Oh, really?
-Really.

38
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,898
Who's this?

39
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,276
-Your girlfriend?
-No, that's my daughter, Elaine.

40
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,863
That's a hot one.

41
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,047
By the way, my name is Earl Keese.

42
00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:49,135
I was real friendly
with a boy named Earl once.

43
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,347
Well, twice really.

44
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:56,393
So you're all moved in next door, huh?

45
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,854
It's a very good house. I imagine
you'll want to freshen it up.

46
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,107
Give it a new coat of paint,
mow the lawn.

47
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,817
Is your wife here?

48
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,694
She's in the kitchen.

49
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,989
-She's dying to meet you. I'll get her.
-No, no, I don't want to meet her.

50
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,701
I hope we're gonna be friends.

51
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:16,788
We were very friendly
with the Warrens next door.

52
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,165
But we weren't that close.

53
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,584
I mean, we were next-door close.

54
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:26,923
I didn't mean that kind of close.
I mean "close" close.

55
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,342
Is your wife making dinner?

56
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,595
She's fixing a great capon.

57
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,265
It was in the Times today.

58
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,893
Would you Like to stay for dinner?

59
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,521
Are there more of you?

60
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,065
Is there a Mr. Ramona?

61
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,860
You go ask your wife if it's okay.

62
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,779
No, it's no problem, really.

63
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,573
Don't argue with me, Earl.

64
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,868
You wouldn’t want me
to have to pull down your pants...

65
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,619
...and spank your little buns...

66
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,413
...would you?

67
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,345
Don't you go away. I'll be right back.

68
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,680
Okay?

69
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:30,528
-How many frozen waffles you want?
-Waffles? What happened to the capon?

70
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,614
-What capon?
-You said you read...

71
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:36,284
-... an incredible recipe for it.
-I didn't say we were having it.

72
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,953
Leave it to you
to take something for granted.

73
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,081
Frozen waffles is all we've got.

74
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,084
Weren't you gonna pick up steaks
for tomorrow?

75
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,877
You're asking for steak?

76
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,463
You could have picked up
some cheap ones.

77
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,965
I will not eat cheap meat.

78
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,475
{Y:i}No! No!

79
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,239
-May I help you?
-Hi, Earl. I'm Vic.

80
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:17,283
I'm sure Ramona's already told you
my whole life story.

81
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:21,621
{Y:i}-No, but you must be her...
-That's me, Like it or not.

82
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,417
If you know what I mean. Have a seat.

83
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,547
So, what do you say, neighbor?

84
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:34,426
Welcome to the end of the road,
I guess.

85
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,219
-It's a great house.
-Thank you.

86
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:40,223
I mean mine. More rooms than we
need, really, but I couldn’t resist.

87
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,516
It was a steal.

88
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,768
What's on the menu, pal?
I'm starved.

89
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:48,690
We haven't eaten all day. We could eat
a baby's butt through a park bench.

90
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:52,068
I'm afraid I spoke too soon earlier.

91
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:55,238
We haven't got enough.
Enid didn't get to her shopping today.

92
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,116
Well, no sweat.
I'll just go and get some takeout.

93
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:01,453
There's nothing around here
except the standard burgers...

94
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:04,622
-... greasy dogs and a gummy pizza.
-I can do better than that.

95
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,417
You just leave everything
to Captain Vic.

96
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:12,797
Look, friend, if I do the running,
I know you’ll wanna spring for the tab.

97
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,050
Okay.

98
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,019
Thirty bucks?
For four grown people?

99
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:30,106
Where have you been? It takes
30 bucks just to look at a menu.

100
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,653
-This is a $2 bill.
-Let me see that.

101
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,031
Gee, I thought it was a 20.

102
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,826
-Really.
-Well, people palm them off that way.

103
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:45,330
You never know who's gonna
stick it to you, do you, Earl?

104
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:49,584
Look, if 32 bucks isn't enough,
we can always do it some other night.

105
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,712
Why don't we do it now.
Let's have your car keys, okay?

106
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,715
-My car keys?
-Yeah, my brakes are shot.

107
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:59,427
Why don't I get the food? I'm the one
who's supposed to be neighborly.

108
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:02,305
You stay here and my wife
will keep you company.

109
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:06,935
Forget it. If you insist on paying for
dinner, the least I can do is go get it.

110
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,813
What I don't understand
is where you're going.

111
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,856
There's no place decent around here.

112
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:15,568
If you must know, it's a new place,
opened up on the other side of town.

113
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,655
Near the train station.
Across from the warehouse.

114
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,448
Italian.

115
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,785
I commute, I go by there twice a day,
five days a week...

116
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,413
...and I've never seen
a restaurant around there.

117
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,749
You calling me a liar?

118
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,584
{Y:i}No, I...

119
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,587
I'm just not very observant,
I guess.

120
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,799
I can't blame you.
They don't have their sign up yet.

121
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:41,803
But it's got a cute name:
Caesar's Garlic Wars.

122
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,141
Okay. Why don't you
get some ravioli...

123
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,060
...and some- What do you
call those stuffed clams?

124
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:54,024
-Stuffed clams.
-Yeah. And some scampi and garlic.

125
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,235
Whatever I get, Earl,
I first have to get going.

126
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,279
I'll get the keys.

127
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,866
Why don't you stay here
and make yourself at home.

128
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,076
I'll be right here.

129
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,093
Hi.

130
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,723
Took a bath. There's a dead rat
in our tub over there.

131
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,309
Vic said not to move it.

132
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:33,688
Took a pill. Moving always makes me
kind of hyper.

133
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,316
I hope you don't mind.

134
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,069
Yeah. Sure. I don't mind.

135
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,571
Oh, you do mind, don't you?

136
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,284
Vic's going out for Italian food.

137
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:50,455
You come down and join us
whenever you can, okay?

138
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,958
What are you so nervous about, Earl?

139
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,004
{Y:i}Afraid Vic will think you're up here...

140
00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,215
...chewing me?

141
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,695
What are you doing? Robbing me?

142
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,698
Looking for a pencil to write down
what you want for supper.

143
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,324
You got a pencil in your hand.

144
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:29,577
$327. Is that all you had
at the end of last month?

145
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,455
That's none of your business.
Stay out of there, please.

146
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:36,751
-I just wanted to get the order right.
-Why don't we go downstairs.

147
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,336
Sure.

148
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,338
After you.

149
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,550
-So, what do you want?
-Make it simple.

150
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:47,470
Spaghetti, meatballs, a salad.
Whatever you want for you and-

151
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:50,140
What's not simple
is how I get to the restaurant.

152
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,976
-Use my car.
-Has it got a key or a rubber band...

153
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:55,520
-... you wind up?
-Why don't I go with you.

154
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,940
Afraid I'll steal your car?
That's why I moved in next door?

155
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,027
So I could rip off your car
and move somewhere else?

156
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,988
-There you go.
-Back in a flash, pal.

157
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:40,440
Waffles are browning.
Always a thrilling sight.

158
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,525
Good news, Enid.

159
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,362
Italian food is on the way.

160
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,489
You arranged it?

161
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,533
Well, more or less.
I invited the neighbors.

162
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,577
Oh, you met them.

163
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,704
What did you think?

164
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,014
Earl?

165
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,724
They're...

166
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,394
...different.

167
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:21,272
I guess I'll go up and get dressed.

168
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,275
Upstairs?

169
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:26,027
What for?

170
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,405
You said they were coming over.

171
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,157
Well, they're not dressing.
They're barely dressed.

172
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:35,745
I mean, you could go
in the kitchen and set the table.

173
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:39,416
And turn the waffles off.
I'll be there in a minute to help you.

174
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:42,335
You got lots to do down here.

175
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:47,298
Yeah, there is something I forgot to do.

176
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,946
That's a boy.
You want some steak?

177
00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:02,614
Don't tell me, you must be
our new neighbor. Come on in.

178
00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:04,824
Thanks a lot.

179
00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:16,753
Someone's stolen our truck...

180
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,339
...and I need to use the phone
to call the police.

181
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:22,759
Use the phone in the kitchen.
What a terrible thing, your first day.

182
00:22:22,926 --> 00:22:25,679
It's even worse than just that.
Baby was in the back.

183
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:28,848
-Oh, my.
-Oh! Oh! Oh!

184
00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:31,059
Vic. Your baby's drowning!

185
00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:33,812
No chance.
Why should my dog be drowning?

186
00:22:34,688 --> 00:22:36,064
Dog?

187
00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:38,566
I thought "child. "

188
00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:41,695
We haven't any children.
Unless Ramona just pumped one out...

189
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:44,823
...and didn't tell me.
She calls the dog " Baby. "

190
00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:47,534
-She calls the dog " Baby"?
-Yeah. He's fine.

191
00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:50,328
I just saw him around the back there.
When I drove up.

192
00:22:50,495 --> 00:22:52,789
He's digging up something
in your flowerbed.

193
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:54,290
My flowerbed?

194
00:22:59,504 --> 00:23:00,964
Hi, Enid.

195
00:23:03,258 --> 00:23:05,218
Hi, Vic.

196
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,012
Oh, we met hours ago.

197
00:23:07,178 --> 00:23:09,723
Earl here was worried about Baby.

198
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:12,726
Oh, he's no trouble at all.
He's a perfect gentleman.

199
00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:16,855
-Leave him with me any time you want.
-Don't worry, I will.

200
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,481
They spoil him awfully.

201
00:23:18,648 --> 00:23:22,694
I want him to have every advantage
I was denied as a young dog.

202
00:23:22,861 --> 00:23:25,447
Well, here are your keys, Mr. Keese.

203
00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:29,617
Let's dig into this stuff
before the sauce turns into penicillin.

204
00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:32,954
Why don't you Look for Ramona.

205
00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:36,833
-Me?
-Finders keepers, Earl. After all...

206
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,669
...I know what goes on out here
in the suburbs.

207
00:23:40,170 --> 00:23:42,297
That's why we moved here.

208
00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:46,801
Oh, Vic.

209
00:23:50,263 --> 00:23:54,726
-What do you think, Earl?
-Don't do that. You are outrageous.

210
00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:11,034
Too bad about Vic's truck, Earl.

211
00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,663
Well, I was just pushing it
into my garage...

212
00:24:15,830 --> 00:24:18,541
...to hide it from him, you know,
kind of a joke.

213
00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:21,628
-It was an accident.
-It could happen to anybody.

214
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,922
I think 1500 should take care of it.

215
00:24:24,089 --> 00:24:26,675
Fifteen hundred? Dollars?

216
00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:31,096
It was just a joke. I mean, I'm sure
your insurance will cover most of it...

217
00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:34,349
...and I'll pay the deductible.
What is it, 100 or so?

218
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:39,229
For the truck.
Keeping me quiet is a little extra.

219
00:24:41,356 --> 00:24:43,191
I don't believe it.

220
00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:44,859
You're blackmailing me.

221
00:24:45,026 --> 00:24:47,570
Hey, what are neighbors for?

222
00:24:47,946 --> 00:24:50,156
Oh, make it cash.

223
00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:06,715
Hey, come on in, buddy.
Help yourself.

224
00:25:26,985 --> 00:25:29,612
Well, here we all are.

225
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,364
To Vic and Ramona.

226
00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:34,242
For bringing a breath of fresh air
to our neighborhood.

227
00:25:34,409 --> 00:25:38,079
May we have many, many years
of your lovely company.

228
00:25:43,293 --> 00:25:45,128
Do they have any country fairs here?

229
00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:49,382
Where they do things Like see
which bull has the biggest balls?

230
00:25:53,887 --> 00:25:58,641
This isn't really country. It's more
a suburban bedroom community.

231
00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:01,936
The locals are in service trades.
They're not farmers.

232
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:04,064
Maybe we can measure their balls.

233
00:26:07,317 --> 00:26:10,403
Or we could start with yours,
if you Like.

234
00:26:18,870 --> 00:26:20,163
Good, is it?

235
00:26:21,122 --> 00:26:23,833
-Delicious.
-I must call Caesar's...

236
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,627
...and compliment the chef.

237
00:26:25,919 --> 00:26:28,546
Tell me, were they crowded
this evening?

238
00:26:28,755 --> 00:26:30,340
-What?
-Caesar's.

239
00:26:30,507 --> 00:26:32,926
Friday night, the only place in town.

240
00:26:33,093 --> 00:26:35,887
Bet they were turning them away
in droves.

241
00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:38,264
Okay, you probably
called the place...

242
00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:41,184
...and found out they're not open
for business yet, right?

243
00:26:41,351 --> 00:26:42,727
Right.

244
00:26:43,228 --> 00:26:45,397
So does that make me a liar?

245
00:26:45,563 --> 00:26:47,732
Maybe I got there,
saw the place was closed...

246
00:26:47,899 --> 00:26:50,110
...and went somewhere else
to pick up the food.

247
00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:53,113
Where? Everything's shut at this hour.
Everything.

248
00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:54,864
-And the wine?
-What's the matter?

249
00:26:55,031 --> 00:26:58,076
Vic brings a wonderful dinner
and you give him the third degree.

250
00:26:58,243 --> 00:27:00,578
I don't mind.
There's no mystery about it.

251
00:27:00,745 --> 00:27:04,249
You know Valley Field Mall on Route 3?
Across from the Cinema Cineplex?

252
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:07,002
There's a small spaghetti and wine
dealership there.

253
00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:08,753
Next to the Singer Sewing Centre.

254
00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:10,630
That's where you got it?

255
00:27:11,047 --> 00:27:12,549
That's right.

256
00:27:14,175 --> 00:27:16,845
Well, to begin with,
Valley Field Mall is closed.

257
00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:19,806
When it was open, it was
on Route 15, not Route 3.

258
00:27:19,973 --> 00:27:22,392
And there can't be
a small spaghetti dealership...

259
00:27:22,559 --> 00:27:25,270
...next to the Singer Centre
across from the Cineplex...

260
00:27:25,437 --> 00:27:29,899
...because there is no Cineplex
and there is no Singer Sewing Centre.

261
00:27:31,943 --> 00:27:35,030
All right, I can deceive you no longer.

262
00:27:35,238 --> 00:27:37,240
Yes, yes, yes, I admit it.

263
00:27:37,407 --> 00:27:39,367
It was me who prepared this meal...

264
00:27:39,534 --> 00:27:42,454
...to share on our
first night together as neighbors.

265
00:27:42,954 --> 00:27:46,916
This was my crime. Mixing up
a special batch of my Aunt Minota's...

266
00:27:47,083 --> 00:27:49,502
...secret, sacred spaghetti sauce.

267
00:27:49,711 --> 00:27:52,047
Sorry I messed up your evening. Right?

268
00:27:52,213 --> 00:27:53,757
Right.

269
00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:57,344
In light of Earl’s feelings,
I think it would be best if we left.

270
00:27:57,510 --> 00:28:03,099
Oh, no, no. Sit down, sit down.
Let's finish this magnificent meal.

271
00:28:03,266 --> 00:28:06,061
Don't worry about Earl.
He'll get over his feelings.

272
00:28:06,561 --> 00:28:09,314
-He spurned my sauce.
-No, he loves your sauce.

273
00:28:09,481 --> 00:28:11,566
He's just jealous, he can't cook.

274
00:28:12,817 --> 00:28:16,071
Earl, isn't it your turn
to do a Little confessing?

275
00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:19,282
-What?
-Vic's been man enough to admit...

276
00:28:19,449 --> 00:28:22,827
...he was the one who cooked supper.
You've got nothing to say?

277
00:28:23,370 --> 00:28:27,624
I don't think that'll be necessary.
We do have an agreement, don't we?

278
00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:30,251
I'm talking about what you did outside.

279
00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:37,008
Yes, Ramona. I know and I accept
the figures you mentioned.

280
00:28:37,842 --> 00:28:40,011
" Figures," Earl? What "figures"?

281
00:28:40,178 --> 00:28:43,890
Just a Little arrangement
I have with Ramona.

282
00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:46,309
What sort of arrangement?

283
00:28:49,020 --> 00:28:50,397
Oh, boy.

284
00:28:50,563 --> 00:28:53,066
We're waiting.
Or do I have to pound it out of you?

285
00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:55,402
Don't speak to me Like that
in my own house.

286
00:28:55,652 --> 00:28:57,737
-Why would I?
-You just did.

287
00:28:57,987 --> 00:29:01,282
-It's just a something a guy says.
-I never say it.

288
00:29:01,491 --> 00:29:04,035
-I don't blame you.
-Ramona...

289
00:29:04,244 --> 00:29:07,580
...why don't you be man enough
to tell us since Earl isn't.

290
00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:13,628
He tried to pork me.

291
00:29:14,504 --> 00:29:16,339
Pork you? What?!

292
00:29:16,715 --> 00:29:18,383
You know you did.

293
00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:20,844
I swear, I never touched her.

294
00:29:21,052 --> 00:29:23,596
Well, I wasn't born
with your hand in my bush.

295
00:29:24,305 --> 00:29:26,391
Enid, help me.

296
00:29:26,558 --> 00:29:29,352
Tell them I couldn’t
do something Like that.

297
00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:33,481
-Let's Leave that to the police.
-Vic, she's not my type.

298
00:29:35,817 --> 00:29:39,821
Enid, you tell Earl he'll have
a chance to defend himself.

299
00:29:42,323 --> 00:29:44,909
I think you can see
why we have to Leave.

300
00:29:45,201 --> 00:29:48,079
I know you meant well.
Didn't you?

301
00:29:48,580 --> 00:29:50,957
We might have had
a wonderful relationship.

302
00:29:51,124 --> 00:29:53,752
But then, as Arthur Bremer once said:

303
00:29:54,669 --> 00:29:57,881
" How many things go right
in this crazy world?"

304
00:29:58,590 --> 00:30:00,759
Ramona, let's go.

305
00:30:01,634 --> 00:30:04,554
Come on, before he gets dangerous.

306
00:30:06,056 --> 00:30:09,267
-I thought I'd be able to defend myself!
-Not so loud, Earl.

307
00:30:09,434 --> 00:30:13,063
Afraid we'll disturb the neighbors?
These are the goddamn neighbors!

308
00:30:13,229 --> 00:30:15,857
Calm yourself, Earl.
I'm not gonna take you to court.

309
00:30:16,024 --> 00:30:19,110
That would make for bad blood.
We don't want any bad blood...

310
00:30:19,277 --> 00:30:23,782
{Y:i}...especially since we’ll be living
next door to you for a long, Long time.

311
00:30:28,453 --> 00:30:30,747
I swear to God, Enid,
we may have to move.

312
00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:32,665
They're very strange people.

313
00:30:32,832 --> 00:30:35,502
You know how after five minutes
when you meet someone...

314
00:30:35,669 --> 00:30:37,337
...you know everything about them?

315
00:30:37,504 --> 00:30:40,256
What they do, their last name.
We know nothing about them.

316
00:30:40,423 --> 00:30:43,677
-So what?
-So why didn't you say something?

317
00:30:43,843 --> 00:30:46,429
You were in the house the whole time
she was here.

318
00:30:46,596 --> 00:30:49,265
Besides, you know how Long it takes
to pork someone?

319
00:30:49,432 --> 00:30:51,768
No, how Long does it take, Earl?

320
00:30:52,018 --> 00:30:54,270
Are you saying you believe her?

321
00:30:54,437 --> 00:30:57,232
Enid, I'm the same man
you've known for 16 years.

322
00:30:57,565 --> 00:30:59,401
I know.

323
00:30:59,734 --> 00:31:01,778
What the hell's going on around here?

324
00:31:01,945 --> 00:31:04,406
He comes waltzing in
and you say, " Hi, Vic. "

325
00:31:04,572 --> 00:31:08,201
-How did you know his name?
-He came over this afternoon.

326
00:31:08,410 --> 00:31:10,495
I didn't have a chance to tell you.

327
00:31:10,662 --> 00:31:14,332
-You could’ve told me in the car.
-You know we never talk in the car.

328
00:31:14,499 --> 00:31:16,459
Today you could’ve made an exception.

329
00:31:16,626 --> 00:31:20,213
That house next door is empty
for six months and you meet...

330
00:31:20,380 --> 00:31:23,633
...the new occupants before I do,
and you don't say anything?

331
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,886
-Enid, am I being unreasonable?
-Pass the wine.

332
00:31:27,679 --> 00:31:29,556
Did you tell me everybody
you met today?

333
00:31:29,723 --> 00:31:32,600
I didn't meet anyone today.
I never meet anyone.

334
00:31:32,767 --> 00:31:35,311
A new neighbor’s
a bit different, isn't it?

335
00:31:35,478 --> 00:31:37,856
A new neighbor whose unit
we can stare at.

336
00:31:38,023 --> 00:31:41,359
-I wasn't staring at his unit.
-I saw you, Enid.

337
00:31:41,526 --> 00:31:44,904
I don't care what other wives do,
only the one I'm married to.

338
00:31:45,071 --> 00:31:47,449
I know when a woman's
checking out a man's unit.

339
00:31:47,615 --> 00:31:50,994
-Oh, really?
-Yeah, Vic's wife, that Ramona.

340
00:31:51,161 --> 00:31:54,080
She did it to me, practically
unzipped my fly with her eyes.

341
00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:55,707
And you hated it, right?

342
00:31:55,874 --> 00:31:58,918
How many stiff nips
did you check out at the office today?

343
00:31:59,085 --> 00:32:02,797
I know you, Earl, your eyes
never sit still for a minute.

344
00:32:03,214 --> 00:32:05,216
Why'd you give their dog our steak?

345
00:32:05,383 --> 00:32:07,635
I saw you, behind my back.

346
00:32:07,802 --> 00:32:10,764
I was afraid you wouldn’t approve.

347
00:32:10,930 --> 00:32:13,892
You were afraid right,
I can tell you that.

348
00:32:14,851 --> 00:32:16,561
What could I do?

349
00:32:16,728 --> 00:32:18,980
Vic asked me
to Look after Baby for a while.

350
00:32:19,147 --> 00:32:22,901
But steak? Jesus, why didn't you
stuff money into his mouth?

351
00:32:23,068 --> 00:32:25,111
And 32 bucks for this load of crap?

352
00:32:25,278 --> 00:32:27,405
It's his money.

353
00:32:28,281 --> 00:32:30,742
Baby! Oh, my God! Baby!

354
00:32:30,909 --> 00:32:33,119
Get that thing away from that thing!

355
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,253
What happened?

356
00:32:42,504 --> 00:32:45,423
Baby was over by that thing
taking a leak.

357
00:32:46,508 --> 00:32:48,635
Jesus Christ.

358
00:32:52,097 --> 00:32:54,391
Come, Baby. Come.

359
00:32:56,351 --> 00:32:59,104
Come here. Come here.

360
00:33:06,152 --> 00:33:08,029
He's all right.

361
00:33:19,874 --> 00:33:21,376
Sweetie, where's the truck?

362
00:33:21,543 --> 00:33:24,129
Maybe that thing got our truck
Like Earl got me.

363
00:33:24,295 --> 00:33:27,382
Relax with that stuff. Our boy here
has been through enough.

364
00:33:27,549 --> 00:33:31,469
We really had you going there.
Ramona's such an imp.

365
00:33:31,636 --> 00:33:35,724
We were just kind of putting you on
at supper. Like a Little joke.

366
00:33:35,890 --> 00:33:39,853
A joke? You call accusing me
of parking Ramona a joke?

367
00:33:40,020 --> 00:33:43,440
Oh, what's the matter with you, Earl?
Can't you take a joke?

368
00:33:43,606 --> 00:33:47,902
Let's go, Ramona, come in the house.
It's Friday night. I'll buy you a drink.

369
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,865
Yeah, I can take a joke, Enid!

370
00:33:52,073 --> 00:33:54,617
-Can you take a joke, Vic?
-Any joke you dish up.

371
00:33:54,784 --> 00:33:56,161
-Oh, yeah?
-Well, try me.

372
00:33:56,327 --> 00:33:57,871
-I sank your truck.
-What?

373
00:33:58,038 --> 00:34:01,791
I didn't mean to. I lost control after
I moved the brick from under your tire.

374
00:34:01,958 --> 00:34:04,627
You touched my brick?
I told you I had no brakes.

375
00:34:04,794 --> 00:34:06,963
I borrowed your car for the takeout.

376
00:34:07,130 --> 00:34:10,925
-But you didn't go for takeout.
-Where's my truck and my airplane?

377
00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:14,262
It's down in the swamp.
I'll go get my jacket.

378
00:34:14,596 --> 00:34:17,932
We’ll get your jacket later.
You just take me to...

379
00:34:18,099 --> 00:34:19,517
...the swamp.

380
00:34:32,447 --> 00:34:34,824
Give me the Light, I'll lead the way.

381
00:34:34,991 --> 00:34:37,660
You're pretty lucky,
having a swamp next to your house.

382
00:34:37,827 --> 00:34:39,412
It didn't always smell this way.

383
00:34:39,579 --> 00:34:42,916
When we moved in, it was a freshwater
Lake with fish and everything.

384
00:34:43,083 --> 00:34:46,044
Then the Interstate Chemical
began dumping upstream...

385
00:34:46,211 --> 00:34:48,713
...and weird things started to grow.

386
00:34:49,839 --> 00:34:52,801
I haven't been here since the search
party a couple years ago.

387
00:34:52,967 --> 00:34:54,427
Search party?

388
00:34:54,594 --> 00:34:56,513
Yeah.

389
00:34:56,805 --> 00:34:59,474
Some guy disappeared down here.

390
00:34:59,933 --> 00:35:03,269
A lineman from the power company.
Said it was quicksand.

391
00:35:03,436 --> 00:35:06,314
Quicksand, this part of the country?
No way.

392
00:35:06,481 --> 00:35:07,982
That's what I said.

393
00:35:08,650 --> 00:35:09,693
Vic!

394
00:35:10,068 --> 00:35:11,194
Vic!

395
00:35:12,195 --> 00:35:14,823
Vic, help me. Please help me!

396
00:35:15,115 --> 00:35:18,118
Do you feel my truck in there?

397
00:35:18,284 --> 00:35:20,870
Vic, come on, help me.
I'll buy you a new truck.

398
00:35:21,037 --> 00:35:25,083
Not Like that one. How about my
triplane? How you gonna replace that?

399
00:35:25,792 --> 00:35:28,712
Help, please.
I'm being sucked down.

400
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,881
-Maybe it's best that way.
-What are you talking about?

401
00:35:32,090 --> 00:35:34,592
You're not the ideal neighbor.
You sank my truck...

402
00:35:34,759 --> 00:35:37,345
...you insulted my sauce
and you violated Ramona.

403
00:35:37,554 --> 00:35:40,890
-You said it was just a joke.
-But she was in your bathtub.

404
00:35:41,057 --> 00:35:43,018
No, she wasn't.
She was in the bed.

405
00:35:43,226 --> 00:35:46,021
And that is where
you saw her mammae.

406
00:35:46,229 --> 00:35:49,149
-Her mammal?
-Her honkers, Earl.

407
00:35:49,357 --> 00:35:50,692
She dropped the towel.

408
00:35:50,859 --> 00:35:53,987
Did she drop it,
or did you psychically will it to fall?

409
00:35:54,154 --> 00:35:57,615
-"Will it to fall"?
-Did you will her towel to fall?

410
00:35:57,824 --> 00:35:59,159
No.

411
00:35:59,325 --> 00:36:01,327
Never. No.

412
00:36:01,953 --> 00:36:04,831
Admit it, Earl.
They'll go easier on you if you do.

413
00:36:04,998 --> 00:36:08,668
{Y:i}Will it to fall?
Well... No, I don't think so.

414
00:36:08,877 --> 00:36:10,295
Come on, Earl.

415
00:36:10,879 --> 00:36:14,090
-Well, maybe a Little.
-Come on.

416
00:36:14,257 --> 00:36:15,842
Yes! Yes!

417
00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:18,386
-Okay, I admit it.
-Admit what?

418
00:36:19,095 --> 00:36:22,849
Yes. I willed the towel to fall!

419
00:36:28,063 --> 00:36:31,691
Grab on. Earl Keese, come on up.

420
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:35,487
See, all I wanted was a Little honesty
in our relationship, buddy.

421
00:36:35,653 --> 00:36:37,822
You'd want the
same thing, right, pal?

422
00:36:45,705 --> 00:36:47,499
Vic.

423
00:36:48,249 --> 00:36:50,168
Vic.

424
00:36:52,170 --> 00:36:54,047
Don't kid around.

425
00:36:55,090 --> 00:36:56,508
Come on up. Vic!

426
00:37:05,141 --> 00:37:08,520
Vic, I'm sorry.
Vic, come back, Vic!

427
00:37:08,728 --> 00:37:10,063
Vic, come back.

428
00:37:16,069 --> 00:37:18,905
Forgive me, Vic.

429
00:37:22,117 --> 00:37:24,536
Forgive me.

430
00:38:18,882 --> 00:38:20,550
Oh, my God.

431
00:38:24,512 --> 00:38:26,389
I must be seeing things.

432
00:38:27,057 --> 00:38:29,184
So there was this Indian and-

433
00:39:18,316 --> 00:39:19,651
Oh, God!

434
00:39:19,818 --> 00:39:23,238
Jesus! Get out of here!
Get out!

435
00:39:23,613 --> 00:39:25,740
Get out of my house!

436
00:39:26,616 --> 00:39:29,828
You're certifiable!
You and that woman!

437
00:39:30,161 --> 00:39:33,540
You're nuts!
You're a maniac! Get out!

438
00:39:59,482 --> 00:40:02,068
God, does it always
shrivel up when you shower?

439
00:40:05,572 --> 00:40:07,198
Great.

440
00:40:07,365 --> 00:40:10,076
Now it's your turn
to annoy me, right?

441
00:40:10,285 --> 00:40:14,539
I was looking for Baby. You haven't
seen him, have you? He kills chickens.

442
00:40:15,123 --> 00:40:18,209
Well, I don't keep
chickens in the shower.

443
00:40:26,092 --> 00:40:29,971
-This is pretty.
-Please don't touch them.

444
00:40:30,513 --> 00:40:32,140
Put them back on the shelf.

445
00:40:34,309 --> 00:40:36,561
Snippy.

446
00:40:43,526 --> 00:40:46,571
Your left ball
in the corner pocket.

447
00:40:55,997 --> 00:40:57,040
Sorry, Earl.

448
00:40:58,083 --> 00:41:01,211
I started collecting them
when I was 9 years old.

449
00:41:01,670 --> 00:41:04,589
Hey, you kids,
keep it down to a dull roar.

450
00:41:04,756 --> 00:41:07,092
I'm not cleaning up
down there again, Earl.

451
00:41:08,468 --> 00:41:10,136
What's happening, gang?

452
00:41:10,345 --> 00:41:14,474
Hi, Vic.
Come on in and join the party.

453
00:41:14,808 --> 00:41:16,935
I gotta go upstairs, be right back.

454
00:41:17,102 --> 00:41:19,938
I gotta get a broom
to sweep up all this junk.

455
00:41:20,105 --> 00:41:21,856
Get a Little rough with you, did he?

456
00:41:22,023 --> 00:41:23,066
Hey!

457
00:41:26,820 --> 00:41:28,363
Earl. Hey, Earl.

458
00:41:28,530 --> 00:41:31,866
-Go to hell. You're not getting back in.
-You locked them in?

459
00:41:32,033 --> 00:41:35,120
They're a couple of cases.
They're fruitcakes, lunatics.

460
00:41:35,286 --> 00:41:39,457
-Both of them. They're hazardous, Enid.
-Enid. You in there, honey?

461
00:41:39,624 --> 00:41:44,337
Right here, Captain Vic.
You can't keep them prisoners, Earl.

462
00:41:44,504 --> 00:41:48,508
I'm gonna call the locksmith.
They can let them out the side door.

463
00:41:48,717 --> 00:41:50,051
Hello, Chic. It's Earl.

464
00:41:50,218 --> 00:41:52,679
{Y:i}-Earl. Earl who?
-No jokes, will you?

465
00:41:52,846 --> 00:41:54,681
{Y:i}I need the name of that locksmith.

466
00:41:54,848 --> 00:41:58,143
I broke a key and I got
two Lunatics Locked in my basement.

467
00:41:59,728 --> 00:42:01,479
What? What did you say?

468
00:42:01,688 --> 00:42:04,190
-Blow it out your ass.
-Is somebody on this line?

469
00:42:04,399 --> 00:42:07,527
-Just you and me, asshole.
-The bastard's on the phone.

470
00:42:07,694 --> 00:42:09,571
{Y:i}-You called me, didn't you?
-Not you.

471
00:42:09,738 --> 00:42:11,239
-Me.
-Get off the line, Vic.

472
00:42:11,406 --> 00:42:12,907
{Y:i}-Who's Vic?
-He lives next door.

473
00:42:13,074 --> 00:42:15,160
{Y:i}-Nobody lives next door.
-That's right.

474
00:42:15,368 --> 00:42:17,203
{Y:i}-Christ.
-Earl, you been drinking?

475
00:42:17,370 --> 00:42:20,165
-What the hell is going on?
-Never mind, forget it.

476
00:42:20,373 --> 00:42:22,500
And don't ever call here again.

477
00:42:23,918 --> 00:42:27,088
Oh, really, Earl. Grow up.

478
00:42:27,255 --> 00:42:32,093
-Vic, stop!
-Please, you promised me. Please.

479
00:42:32,260 --> 00:42:35,597
-Your leg. Just one Leg.
-It's a trick.

480
00:42:35,764 --> 00:42:38,266
You are pitiful, Earl.
How do you know it's a trick?

481
00:42:38,433 --> 00:42:42,562
-You always go limp in a crisis.
-It's not a crisis, it's a trick.

482
00:42:42,729 --> 00:42:46,816
How do you know Vic
isn't an escaped vivisectionist?

483
00:42:47,108 --> 00:42:48,860
A vivisectionist!

484
00:42:54,074 --> 00:42:56,076
Ramona!

485
00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:59,621
Are you still in one piece?

486
00:43:16,429 --> 00:43:18,348
Come on, kids.

487
00:43:19,015 --> 00:43:20,850
Fun's fun.

488
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:32,237
All right. Game's over.

489
00:43:36,908 --> 00:43:38,993
Enid!

490
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:40,870
Enid!

491
00:44:11,860 --> 00:44:13,528
Greavy's Garage.

492
00:44:13,737 --> 00:44:15,947
I'm sorry to be calling you
at this hour.

493
00:44:16,156 --> 00:44:20,368
It don't matter. We're open 24 hours.
All day, all damn night. What you need?

494
00:44:20,535 --> 00:44:21,953
{Y:i}I'm at number 2 Burt Street.

495
00:44:22,162 --> 00:44:26,416
I need somebody to Let me out of my
basement, and a tow truck immediately.

496
00:44:26,624 --> 00:44:28,460
Ain't that damn truck there yet?

497
00:44:28,626 --> 00:44:31,296
I sent my boy Perry out there
five minutes ago.

498
00:44:31,504 --> 00:44:33,798
{Y:i}Some fella named Vic called up.

499
00:44:34,132 --> 00:44:35,467
You're kidding.

500
00:44:35,675 --> 00:44:40,638
Yeah, I'm kidding. I stay up all night
so I can wank my crank on the phone.

501
00:44:42,349 --> 00:44:43,892
Wait a minute.

502
00:44:56,571 --> 00:44:59,074
{Y:i}-He just got here.
-That fella Vic...

503
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:01,534
{Y:i}...says you run his truck
down the swamp.

504
00:45:01,701 --> 00:45:03,745
Locked him and
his missus in a root cellar.

505
00:45:03,912 --> 00:45:06,373
-It was kind of a joke.
-A joke?

506
00:45:06,539 --> 00:45:10,293
What the hell kind of joke is that?
It's as funny as a gutful of pinworms.

507
00:45:10,460 --> 00:45:13,505
{Y:i}-Who ask ed your opinion?
-Who the hell has to, jack-off?

508
00:45:13,713 --> 00:45:16,216
Just because I lay under
your carpet that's insides...

509
00:45:16,383 --> 00:45:19,135
...and because I snake your pipes
and drain your cesspool...

510
00:45:19,302 --> 00:45:22,889
...don't make me dirt under your feet.
I'm as good as you any day, asshole.

511
00:45:23,098 --> 00:45:27,394
If I didn't have to do this crap for a
living, I wouldn’t sell you my snot.

512
00:45:42,617 --> 00:45:44,661
Enid.

513
00:46:06,349 --> 00:46:09,853
It's Like a peashooter. I saw a guy
take three slugs from one of these.

514
00:46:10,020 --> 00:46:12,230
-He just kept coming.
-I remember that.

515
00:46:12,397 --> 00:46:14,566
-Be cool, brothers.
-Take it easy, guys.

516
00:46:14,733 --> 00:46:17,485
-You too. Good night.
-Look who's home.

517
00:46:17,652 --> 00:46:20,655
-Our daughter, the outlaw hitchhiker.
-Hi, Daddy.

518
00:46:20,822 --> 00:46:24,743
-Elaine, what are you doing home?
-Got kicked out of school. I'm hungry.

519
00:46:24,909 --> 00:46:29,205
We're gonna party with the neighbors.
Aren't they neat? I got some vodka.

520
00:46:29,414 --> 00:46:31,207
-She got kicked out.
-Leave her alone.

521
00:46:31,374 --> 00:46:33,376
Vic, what did you say
is in a pile driver?

522
00:46:33,543 --> 00:46:37,172
Italian Galliano for passion,
Irish Mist for love and...

523
00:46:37,339 --> 00:46:40,592
-... Russian vodka for endurance.
-Poor baby. Learn to relax.

524
00:46:40,967 --> 00:46:43,053
Too much excitement's
no good for you.

525
00:46:43,219 --> 00:46:47,599
Why don't you go upstairs,
take a hot bath, get into bed...

526
00:46:47,766 --> 00:46:51,311
...and I'll come up to tuck
you in and help you go to sleep.

527
00:46:51,519 --> 00:46:53,188
That's a good idea.

528
00:46:53,355 --> 00:46:56,983
-I'll go in and say good night.
-That's a good boy.

529
00:46:57,192 --> 00:46:59,027
We used to put
20 of them in there.

530
00:46:59,194 --> 00:47:02,572
Activate the speed rollers, turn on
the hose circuits and that's it.

531
00:47:02,781 --> 00:47:05,075
Vic Zeck's liquid lunch!

532
00:47:05,950 --> 00:47:07,327
Good night, everybody.

533
00:47:08,286 --> 00:47:10,622
I'm going to bed.

534
00:47:10,830 --> 00:47:14,125
I bet you never seen
a pair of these before.

535
00:47:14,793 --> 00:47:16,211
Take a sniff.

536
00:47:21,341 --> 00:47:23,635
-It smells Like a peach.
-What are those?

537
00:47:23,802 --> 00:47:25,804
They're my panties. They're edible.

538
00:47:25,970 --> 00:47:30,100
Edible. Hey, wow. The wonders of
modern petro technology.

539
00:47:30,266 --> 00:47:33,645
-Where'd you get them?
-At school. All the kids have them.

540
00:47:34,187 --> 00:47:36,523
-They're tasty.
-They come in four flavours.

541
00:47:36,690 --> 00:47:39,275
-What a great idea.
-Yeah. Four flavors.

542
00:47:39,442 --> 00:47:42,821
Earl, want some of your daughter's
panties? They come in four flavors.

543
00:47:42,987 --> 00:47:46,533
Banana, peach, mint,
and, of course, cherry.

544
00:47:51,496 --> 00:47:53,331
Good night, ladies.

545
00:47:59,379 --> 00:48:01,881
You should have gone
up to bed Like I said.

546
00:48:02,215 --> 00:48:04,926
Nice meeting you.
Good night, Enid.

547
00:48:12,767 --> 00:48:16,855
-Nice, Earl. Good move.
-Guys, it's 2 in the morning.

548
00:48:17,022 --> 00:48:19,107
Come on, you need some sleep.

549
00:48:20,608 --> 00:48:22,569
Turn off the lights, Earl.

550
00:48:22,819 --> 00:48:25,155
Two? 2:00?

551
00:48:25,572 --> 00:48:28,575
Is that right? Can that be right?

552
00:49:05,403 --> 00:49:06,738
What do you want?

553
00:49:06,946 --> 00:49:11,076
Please Let me in, Earl.
I'll give you a kiss. Anyplace you Like.

554
00:49:11,284 --> 00:49:13,703
Oh, Christ.

555
00:49:16,664 --> 00:49:19,834
You've got no interest in me.
Why are you coming on to me?

556
00:49:20,043 --> 00:49:23,755
We could have a real good time, Earl.
I don't care about your false teeth.

557
00:49:23,963 --> 00:49:28,426
-I haven't got false teeth.
-I'm sorry. I guess they just Look false.

558
00:49:28,635 --> 00:49:31,596
Look, what do you want from me?

559
00:49:31,763 --> 00:49:36,976
Not just now, the whole thing.
You and Vic. Why?

560
00:49:37,185 --> 00:49:41,356
Poor baby. I guess no one ever
tried to make friends with you before.

561
00:49:41,564 --> 00:49:43,191
Here.

562
00:49:45,610 --> 00:49:48,029
Earl, if you won't
Let me come in and play...

563
00:49:48,196 --> 00:49:50,407
-... you come out and play with me.
-Earl.

564
00:49:50,573 --> 00:49:52,075
-Just for a Little while.
-Earl.

565
00:49:52,283 --> 00:49:54,911
-We can talk.
-Earl, are you down there?

566
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:56,955
Coming.

567
00:49:57,122 --> 00:50:01,001
Wait. Stay here. I'll be right back.

568
00:50:10,885 --> 00:50:12,804
Who were you
talking to down there?

569
00:50:13,138 --> 00:50:15,098
Talking to? Nobody.

570
00:50:16,599 --> 00:50:18,351
Well.

571
00:50:19,894 --> 00:50:21,855
I'm gonna take a shower.

572
00:50:22,313 --> 00:50:24,315
Whatever you say, Earl.

573
00:51:37,806 --> 00:51:39,474
Ramona.

574
00:51:46,940 --> 00:51:48,483
Ramona.

575
00:51:51,778 --> 00:51:55,949
-Well, that was a huge waste of time.
-What do you want?

576
00:51:57,992 --> 00:52:00,829
I give your car a good going-over,
a real good going-over.

577
00:52:00,995 --> 00:52:05,166
And there's nothing wrong with it.
Not a damn thing. So I brung it back.

578
00:52:05,709 --> 00:52:08,044
I guess you had a
good laugh on me, huh?

579
00:52:08,211 --> 00:52:10,714
-Pardon?
-Making a horse's patoot out of me.

580
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:13,591
-Yeah, huh?
-Wait. I didn't ask to have my...

581
00:52:13,758 --> 00:52:17,220
...car hauled away. Someone
played a joke on both of us.

582
00:52:17,387 --> 00:52:19,222
You're just full of jokes, aren't you?

583
00:52:19,389 --> 00:52:22,559
Well, I think you're a dirty
shit sack, how about that?

584
00:52:51,004 --> 00:52:52,630
Ramona.

585
00:53:07,479 --> 00:53:08,897
Who goes there?

586
00:53:10,482 --> 00:53:13,276
Hi. It's Earl Keese.

587
00:53:16,488 --> 00:53:17,947
Oh, God!

588
00:53:22,202 --> 00:53:23,995
Oh, God.

589
00:53:34,631 --> 00:53:37,467
My God, I thought you were a prowler.
You all right?

590
00:53:37,634 --> 00:53:39,761
-I guess so.
-You Look bad, Earl.

591
00:53:39,969 --> 00:53:41,471
You sure you didn't get hit?

592
00:53:41,638 --> 00:53:44,057
I don't know.
I've never been shot at before.

593
00:53:44,224 --> 00:53:46,685
What were you doing out here?
What was that noise?

594
00:53:46,851 --> 00:53:49,771
-What are you up to now?
-Nothing.

595
00:53:50,980 --> 00:53:53,233
Bet you're Looking
for Ramona, aren't you?

596
00:53:53,441 --> 00:53:57,612
-No.
-You're rooting around for Ramona.

597
00:53:58,822 --> 00:54:02,742
I'm not rooting around.
She wanted to talk.

598
00:54:02,909 --> 00:54:05,453
She wanted to talk?

599
00:54:05,662 --> 00:54:09,290
Well, actually,
I wanted to talk to someone.

600
00:54:09,499 --> 00:54:10,875
You wanna talk to me?

601
00:54:12,210 --> 00:54:13,920
Sure.

602
00:54:21,428 --> 00:54:23,763
Come on. Inside.

603
00:54:42,407 --> 00:54:45,410
{Y:i}Grab a seat,
I'll fix us some coffee.

604
00:55:07,849 --> 00:55:09,768
I feel terrible about your eye.

605
00:55:11,102 --> 00:55:12,687
Couldn’t be helped.

606
00:55:17,609 --> 00:55:20,153
What are you doing
with all that stuff on?

607
00:55:20,362 --> 00:55:24,407
I was gonna take a dive in the swamp,
try to locate my truck and airplane.

608
00:55:32,540 --> 00:55:36,544
I remember Mrs. Warren used
to bake bread in this kitchen.

609
00:55:36,711 --> 00:55:40,256
I could smell the bread
all the way over at my house.

610
00:55:54,896 --> 00:55:57,190
-Instant okay?
-Yeah.

611
00:56:15,166 --> 00:56:16,918
Better get that fixed.

612
00:56:21,464 --> 00:56:24,134
-Strong?
-Well, not too.

613
00:56:39,482 --> 00:56:42,569
-I gotta rinse this out.
-And waste that coffee?

614
00:56:44,487 --> 00:56:47,532
I'll just put it someplace
until I wash out the cup.

615
00:56:57,917 --> 00:56:59,461
Sit down, Earl.

616
00:56:59,627 --> 00:57:02,088
-I just want to-
-Sit down.

617
00:57:09,346 --> 00:57:14,559
Now, just put the coffee powder
back in the cup.

618
00:57:24,527 --> 00:57:26,863
-Can I wash my hand?
-No.

619
00:57:27,030 --> 00:57:29,783
I thought you came over here to talk.

620
00:57:36,706 --> 00:57:40,835
I Like mine tepid and black.
How about you?

621
00:57:41,044 --> 00:57:42,629
Same.

622
00:57:56,184 --> 00:58:00,313
Now you take back that cup you keep
switching, Earl. Or it'll be pump city.

623
00:58:02,941 --> 00:58:05,527
Well, it makes no difference to me.

624
00:58:19,582 --> 00:58:21,084
So.

625
00:58:21,543 --> 00:58:23,378
Here we are.

626
00:58:26,172 --> 00:58:29,217
It's about your daughter,
Elaine, isn't it?

627
00:58:30,093 --> 00:58:31,886
I thought so.

628
00:58:32,762 --> 00:58:35,098
I'd say you got a
real problem there, Earl.

629
00:58:35,265 --> 00:58:37,434
What are you talking about?
What do you mean?

630
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:39,561
Drugs. I can tell.

631
00:58:40,020 --> 00:58:41,980
That spaced-out Look.

632
00:58:42,147 --> 00:58:45,150
Used to see it in dust cases
the state police brought in...

633
00:58:45,316 --> 00:58:48,153
...when I was night custody chief
at Oakville Mental.

634
00:58:48,319 --> 00:58:52,365
Yeah, she's got the dries. She
always keeps licking her lips.

635
00:58:52,532 --> 00:58:56,119
-She was dying for a fix.
-She has never taken drugs in her Life.

636
00:58:56,286 --> 00:59:00,790
-Never!
-Well, it was just a wild guess.

637
00:59:05,503 --> 00:59:10,216
They think she stole a ring at school.
I just can't believe it.

638
00:59:12,385 --> 00:59:16,514
Is that all? I thought there was
some kind of major catastrophe.

639
00:59:16,681 --> 00:59:19,642
She's been expelled, for God's sake.

640
00:59:19,809 --> 00:59:22,729
I can think of a problem
that's more important...

641
00:59:22,896 --> 00:59:25,231
...and you, as a parent,
are ignoring it.

642
00:59:25,398 --> 00:59:27,067
What?

643
00:59:27,442 --> 00:59:31,321
What is Elaine doing about sex?
Is she getting probed?

644
00:59:31,488 --> 00:59:34,657
That was very foolish, Earl.
And it could get you snuffed!

645
00:59:40,538 --> 00:59:44,626
Why do I keep getting sucked
into these degrading conversations?

646
00:59:45,043 --> 00:59:49,964
Why should I assume that suddenly
you’ll turn into a human being?

647
00:59:50,173 --> 00:59:52,592
Both you or Ramona.

648
01:00:49,441 --> 01:00:51,109
Enid?

649
01:00:54,738 --> 01:00:57,866
-Yes, Earl?
-Why is this door Locked?

650
01:01:04,247 --> 01:01:08,710
Is that the dog?
Enid, is that goddamn dog in there?

651
01:01:08,877 --> 01:01:13,256
It's all right.
He's housebroken. Almost.

652
01:01:15,842 --> 01:01:18,887
What the hell is going on in there?

653
01:01:38,365 --> 01:01:41,618
Enid?
Do you realise how this looks?

654
01:01:41,785 --> 01:01:46,039
Should have slipped it through the mall
slot while you had the chance, Earl.

655
01:01:46,247 --> 01:01:50,960
This is going to take explaining, Enid.
A helluva lot of explaining.

656
01:01:52,379 --> 01:01:55,757
-Daddy, what's the matter?
-Nothing.

657
01:01:55,924 --> 01:01:58,760
-I was talking to your mother.
-Through the door?

658
01:01:58,927 --> 01:02:02,889
-It wasn't very important. Go to sleep.
-I just got up.

659
01:02:03,056 --> 01:02:05,809
Okay, then do that, then.

660
01:02:17,779 --> 01:02:21,032
How about this?
Beautiful morning, huh?

661
01:02:21,282 --> 01:02:23,868
Somebody really did
a number on your front end here.

662
01:02:24,035 --> 01:02:27,706
Not to worry. I know a gypsy
in the city does cheap bodywork.

663
01:02:28,039 --> 01:02:31,668
Somebody wrote something here too.
Said " pimp wagon. "

664
01:02:31,835 --> 01:02:33,336
You know who wrote that.

665
01:02:33,503 --> 01:02:35,755
Why would I Let
anybody write on your car?

666
01:02:35,922 --> 01:02:38,591
I gotta use this buggy today,
to get us breakfast.

667
01:02:38,758 --> 01:02:40,593
-Breakfast?
-Yeah.

668
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:44,806
-Just you and me?
-Yeah. Right. Who needs the women?

669
01:02:44,973 --> 01:02:49,811
You know, personally, I think if it'd
just been us guys last night...

670
01:02:50,103 --> 01:02:52,647
-... we wouldn’t have had any trouble.
-Really?

671
01:02:52,814 --> 01:02:55,358
I know women,
upside down and backwards...

672
01:02:55,525 --> 01:02:58,028
...which is not a bad way
to know them, huh?

673
01:02:58,194 --> 01:03:01,906
I guess so. Say, what does
that say on your arm?

674
01:03:04,367 --> 01:03:10,040
-" Born to party. "
-It's the way I live, babe. Have a cigar.

675
01:03:14,294 --> 01:03:16,212
You ever seen one of these?

676
01:03:18,590 --> 01:03:19,924
Wow.

677
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:22,719
You know what you and I need?

678
01:03:22,969 --> 01:03:25,680
-A boys' night out.
-Yeah.

679
01:03:25,889 --> 01:03:28,767
-You fool around?
-Yeah, sure.

680
01:03:28,975 --> 01:03:32,354
Good. Keep it under your hat.
I'm gonna get us breakfast.

681
01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:35,148
I hope you Like
blueberry pancakes and sausage.

682
01:03:35,315 --> 01:03:37,359
-That's what you're getting.
-Sounds great.

683
01:03:37,525 --> 01:03:39,486
Not the way I fix them.

684
01:04:13,019 --> 01:04:14,938
Get your foot off the gas!

685
01:04:16,398 --> 01:04:18,400
Well, watch the lever. Put your-!

686
01:04:18,566 --> 01:04:21,319
Stop. Pull up, you jerk.
Back up.

687
01:04:21,486 --> 01:04:22,862
What-?

688
01:04:23,029 --> 01:04:28,243
Stop it. Watch where you're going.
Stop. Would you stop? You stupid shit!

689
01:04:28,410 --> 01:04:30,662
I ought to crush
your head with a mallet.

690
01:04:31,996 --> 01:04:34,958
The kid's an animal.
You got the keys?

691
01:04:35,125 --> 01:04:37,919
It's not my truck.
The owner went to get breakfast.

692
01:04:38,169 --> 01:04:39,921
I hear you got a whore in there.

693
01:04:40,088 --> 01:04:41,589
-Who told you that?
-I heard.

694
01:04:41,756 --> 01:04:43,758
-Well you heard wrong.
-Ain't got a whore?

695
01:04:43,925 --> 01:04:45,427
-No.
-Know where to find one?

696
01:04:45,593 --> 01:04:48,722
-Of course not.
-If one shows up, you Let me know?

697
01:04:55,311 --> 01:04:58,023
Careful. That mother freaking
snap back between...

698
01:04:58,189 --> 01:05:01,192
...your legs and lash your
whacker off something fierce.

699
01:05:08,158 --> 01:05:09,909
Well.

700
01:05:10,368 --> 01:05:15,290
It doesn't Look too bad, does it?
I don't think we'll have to tow it away.

701
01:05:16,583 --> 01:05:18,460
Am I right?

702
01:05:18,835 --> 01:05:22,964
You the bastard that mouthed off
to my dad last night?

703
01:05:23,631 --> 01:05:26,217
He smashed my car and
he punched me in the stomach.

704
01:05:26,384 --> 01:05:28,136
Oh, yeah?

705
01:05:29,220 --> 01:05:32,390
How would you Like your
nuts nailed to your forehead, huh?

706
01:05:32,557 --> 01:05:36,227
Hey. Leave that wart-head alone.
Come on, we got cesspools to suck.

707
01:05:36,436 --> 01:05:38,104
Okay, Dad.

708
01:05:39,647 --> 01:05:41,399
You're lucky.

709
01:05:41,608 --> 01:05:46,988
I gotta go help my dad now.
But I'll be back.

710
01:06:13,890 --> 01:06:17,435
Hey, Vic. They got your truck.

711
01:06:18,061 --> 01:06:21,815
Looks as good as new.
Not a scratch on it.

712
01:06:22,023 --> 01:06:23,983
Well, where's breakfast?

713
01:06:24,567 --> 01:06:26,277
Not a scratch?

714
01:06:31,366 --> 01:06:33,785
The rear axle’s broken.

715
01:06:34,077 --> 01:06:36,454
Well, I'll get it fixed. It's only fair.

716
01:06:36,621 --> 01:06:41,376
-Forget it. Give it a decent burial.
-You don't want your truck?

717
01:06:41,543 --> 01:06:43,336
You don't get it, do you?

718
01:06:45,505 --> 01:06:48,383
I'm moving. Away.

719
01:06:52,679 --> 01:06:56,474
Moving? What do you mean, moving?
You haven't been here 24 hours yet.

720
01:06:56,641 --> 01:06:58,560
-What's wrong?
-I don't know. That swamp.

721
01:06:58,727 --> 01:07:01,312
In the summer, it must be
a swing club for mosquitoes.

722
01:07:01,479 --> 01:07:03,231
The county sprays.
It's no problem.

723
01:07:03,398 --> 01:07:05,817
Those lines,
they're too close to the house.

724
01:07:05,984 --> 01:07:08,278
They cause hair loss,
Lumbar ecstimiosis...

725
01:07:08,445 --> 01:07:10,321
...post cortical lesions and impotency.

726
01:07:10,488 --> 01:07:11,823
It's just a myth.

727
01:07:11,990 --> 01:07:15,368
The power company wouldn’t
put them up if they were dangerous.

728
01:07:17,996 --> 01:07:20,623
Of course, it's your right to move,
I guess.

729
01:07:20,790 --> 01:07:23,960
But as far as I'm concerned,
I'd honestly Like you to stay.

730
01:07:24,127 --> 01:07:25,628
You would?

731
01:07:25,837 --> 01:07:29,132
Well, to tell you the truth...

732
01:07:29,341 --> 01:07:31,843
...I haven't got
any friends around here.

733
01:07:32,969 --> 01:07:37,140
I mean it.
As crazy as Last night was...

734
01:07:37,349 --> 01:07:40,268
{Y:i}...even though I hated your guts
through most of it...

735
01:07:40,435 --> 01:07:41,978
...I really had...

736
01:07:42,145 --> 01:07:43,688
...a good time.

737
01:07:45,273 --> 01:07:46,691
Good time.

738
01:07:46,941 --> 01:07:51,863
I can't remember a better time
on any Friday night I've ever had.

739
01:07:52,072 --> 01:07:53,490
Neither can I.

740
01:07:53,656 --> 01:07:55,658
I bet Ramona doesn't wanna move,
does she?

741
01:07:55,825 --> 01:07:58,703
She's not moving.
You can have her. She's all paid for.

742
01:07:59,788 --> 01:08:03,124
This is another joke.
Of course you're gonna take your wife.

743
01:08:03,291 --> 01:08:05,043
She might come in handy.

744
01:08:05,210 --> 01:08:08,880
-Who says she's my wife?
-She's not your wife?

745
01:08:09,047 --> 01:08:11,299
-Whose wife is she?
-I couldn’t care less.

746
01:08:11,466 --> 01:08:14,135
If you want her, she's yours.
With my compliments.

747
01:08:14,302 --> 01:08:17,013
Well, I gotta pack.
It's been nice knowing you.

748
01:08:20,558 --> 01:08:22,227
Enid. Open this door.

749
01:08:22,435 --> 01:08:24,145
It's open.

750
01:08:28,358 --> 01:08:29,901
Where's Enid?

751
01:08:31,361 --> 01:08:34,989
What the hell's going on in here?
Why was that door Locked before?

752
01:08:35,156 --> 01:08:36,574
Where's my wife?

753
01:08:36,783 --> 01:08:38,243
She's your wife.

754
01:08:38,451 --> 01:08:41,246
Oh, yeah? Well, you know
what Vic just told me?

755
01:08:41,413 --> 01:08:42,914
-What?
-He's moving.

756
01:08:43,081 --> 01:08:45,041
Moving away.
And leaving you here.

757
01:08:45,208 --> 01:08:48,086
He said I could have you.
What do you think about that?

758
01:08:48,378 --> 01:08:51,339
-Sounds exciting.
-I'm serious.

759
01:08:51,548 --> 01:08:53,758
So am I.

760
01:08:56,302 --> 01:08:58,388
For God's sake,
Ramona, cover yourself.

761
01:08:58,555 --> 01:09:00,140
Come on.

762
01:09:00,557 --> 01:09:04,144
-People just don't do this kind of thing.
-But we could.

763
01:09:06,062 --> 01:09:07,897
Don't worry about Enid.

764
01:09:08,064 --> 01:09:12,444
She's not around.
We won't be disturbed.

765
01:09:14,154 --> 01:09:16,781
Come on, before it gets cold.

766
01:09:16,948 --> 01:09:18,283
I can't.

767
01:09:18,450 --> 01:09:20,702
I know. You're worried about Vic.

768
01:09:21,202 --> 01:09:23,496
No, I'm not worried about Vic.

769
01:09:23,663 --> 01:09:25,874
-He's next door packing.
-All right, baby.

770
01:09:26,082 --> 01:09:28,835
-Baby, watch it. All right, sweetheart.
-Oh, boy.

771
01:09:29,502 --> 01:09:33,048
One time.
All right. All right, sweetie.

772
01:09:34,299 --> 01:09:37,802
Pull out, babe, pull out. All right.

773
01:09:38,011 --> 01:09:41,348
All right. Looking good.

774
01:09:42,849 --> 01:09:47,228
Pull out, babe, pull out. All right.

775
01:09:47,437 --> 01:09:49,314
Jesus, what a case.

776
01:09:49,481 --> 01:09:51,649
Two minutes ago, he said
he was moving away.

777
01:09:51,816 --> 01:09:53,401
I think Vic was right about you.

778
01:09:54,027 --> 01:09:55,362
About what?

779
01:09:56,696 --> 01:10:00,325
He said up is definitely not
your direction.

780
01:10:01,576 --> 01:10:03,995
-Is that what he said?
-Yeah.

781
01:10:04,162 --> 01:10:06,831
Okay, we'll just see about that.

782
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:09,751
That's my Little sweetheart. All right.

783
01:10:10,877 --> 01:10:16,966
All right, dive, baby, dive.
Let's see a screaming dive. All right.

784
01:10:17,133 --> 01:10:19,803
-Hi, neighbor.
-Hi.

785
01:10:19,969 --> 01:10:24,933
Now, I'm just gonna go under
the covers and take a Little inventory.

786
01:10:25,100 --> 01:10:30,105
-Promise you won't go away.
-I promise.

787
01:10:30,271 --> 01:10:34,818
What beautiful performance. Beautiful.
Watch that mixture, watch that mixture.

788
01:10:35,026 --> 01:10:37,278
All right, all right.

789
01:10:38,363 --> 01:10:41,991
All right, that's my sweetie.
Good, climb, baby, climb.

790
01:10:42,158 --> 01:10:43,868
Come on, Earl.

791
01:10:44,035 --> 01:10:46,788
I can't concentrate. It's Vic's plane.

792
01:10:46,955 --> 01:10:51,584
That's it. Watch it.
Watch that mixture, take it easy.

793
01:10:55,547 --> 01:10:58,675
Good. He stopped.

794
01:11:04,014 --> 01:11:06,766
Earl. Earl, come quick!

795
01:11:08,435 --> 01:11:12,188
Where are you, are you
upstairs? Earl?

796
01:11:13,440 --> 01:11:17,152
-Vic, what happened?
-We're losing the house, babe.

797
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:23,908
Vic's house is on fire.

798
01:11:24,075 --> 01:11:25,660
Did you call the fire department?

799
01:11:25,827 --> 01:11:29,456
My phone's dead.
Your phone's dead too.

800
01:11:32,417 --> 01:11:34,878
Water, water.

801
01:11:35,086 --> 01:11:39,841
Look. Look, there's no fire.
It's a trick.

802
01:11:42,052 --> 01:11:43,386
Oh, it was terrible.

803
01:11:43,595 --> 01:11:45,805
I had her up to 100 feet.
Everything was great.

804
01:11:45,972 --> 01:11:47,307
Then the controls jammed.

805
01:11:48,475 --> 01:11:49,893
I think it was that tower.

806
01:11:50,060 --> 01:11:53,313
-My signal couldn’t get to the servos.
-Poor baby.

807
01:11:53,521 --> 01:11:55,690
The motor cut out.
I knew it was in the soup.

808
01:11:55,857 --> 01:11:59,235
She went into a vertical spin,
hit the power lines, bounced up.

809
01:11:59,402 --> 01:12:01,654
And then she climbed 300 feet.

810
01:12:02,238 --> 01:12:05,617
You should’ve seen her.
She was magnificent.

811
01:12:05,784 --> 01:12:09,287
She just sort of stopped
and hung there.

812
01:12:09,454 --> 01:12:12,165
Then she nosed over and came
straight down into my attic.

813
01:12:12,332 --> 01:12:15,877
-The fuel pods exploded in seconds.
-Jesus.

814
01:12:16,127 --> 01:12:18,838
I stamped on the flames,
and everything spread so fast.

815
01:12:19,005 --> 01:12:20,674
That old house is Like a matchbox.

816
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:24,219
If you hadn't had the keys to the car,
he could have driven to a phone.

817
01:12:24,386 --> 01:12:27,972
-What about his truck?
-You broke his rear axle, Daddy.

818
01:12:35,730 --> 01:12:37,649
All right, here, then. It works.

819
01:12:37,816 --> 01:12:40,235
Go ahead. Call the fire department.

820
01:12:40,402 --> 01:12:43,321
You see, he won't even use
the phone.

821
01:12:43,488 --> 01:12:45,824
This is just another one of
his cheap tricks.

822
01:12:45,990 --> 01:12:48,993
Isn't that right, Vic?

823
01:12:49,160 --> 01:12:50,662
Look at him, Enid.

824
01:12:50,829 --> 01:12:55,542
You're fawning all over a fake,
a phoney and a fraud.

825
01:13:03,508 --> 01:13:06,845
-Hey, brother, how about a beer?
-No, thank you.

826
01:13:08,555 --> 01:13:10,098
Look at that thing go.

827
01:13:10,265 --> 01:13:14,394
-What's wrong with the water?
-No pressure. Can't you see?

828
01:13:14,561 --> 01:13:17,981
-Well, what can we do about it?
-I know what we can do.

829
01:13:18,189 --> 01:13:20,150
-What?
-Get some marshmallows.

830
01:13:35,331 --> 01:13:38,668
Enid. Elaine.

831
01:13:39,711 --> 01:13:42,839
Relax. They're all gone.
They Left in your car.

832
01:13:43,048 --> 01:13:44,841
Elaine had a key.

833
01:13:45,008 --> 01:13:46,968
Vic made a trade.

834
01:13:47,135 --> 01:13:49,137
All of them for me.

835
01:13:51,431 --> 01:13:55,935
It's been less than 24 hours since
you and Vic moved in next door.

836
01:13:58,480 --> 01:14:01,733
-It seems Like years.
-A Lot has happened.

837
01:14:03,109 --> 01:14:05,195
You gonna miss Vic?

838
01:14:05,362 --> 01:14:06,821
Vic?

839
01:14:07,614 --> 01:14:09,407
I don't know.

840
01:14:09,949 --> 01:14:12,243
He was fantastic in bed.

841
01:14:12,410 --> 01:14:14,204
Until I got in it.

842
01:14:16,206 --> 01:14:18,958
You know, it's really great
that you can...

843
01:14:19,542 --> 01:14:23,630
...admit things Like that
in your relationship.

844
01:14:25,215 --> 01:14:27,217
You're really wonderful.

845
01:14:29,469 --> 01:14:32,305
That's what I've been trying to tell you.

846
01:14:36,351 --> 01:14:40,188
Is it so hard having your fantasies
come to Life?

847
01:14:42,524 --> 01:14:46,695
There's not a single living thing
Left on this road...

848
01:14:46,861 --> 01:14:49,197
{Y:i}...except you and me.

849
01:14:49,739 --> 01:14:54,035
You know what we're gonna do now,
Earl, just you and me?

850
01:14:55,870 --> 01:14:57,288
What?

851
01:14:57,455 --> 01:15:00,667
Have breakfast. Are you hungry?

852
01:15:01,459 --> 01:15:05,547
I'm starving, but there's no food
in the house.

853
01:15:05,714 --> 01:15:07,716
Well, if you have ketchup
and hot water...

854
01:15:07,882 --> 01:15:09,634
...I could make you tomato soup.

855
01:15:10,260 --> 01:15:11,636
Hey.

856
01:15:11,845 --> 01:15:15,181
I got a better idea. We'll go to the city.
We'll go anyplace you Like.

857
01:15:15,348 --> 01:15:17,600
What kind of food?
French, Spanish, fish?

858
01:15:18,518 --> 01:15:20,020
-I Like Greek.
-Greek. Great.

859
01:15:20,186 --> 01:15:22,022
I know a great Greek restaurant.

860
01:15:22,188 --> 01:15:24,441
-I'll go get a cab. I'll get ready-
-Oh, Earl?

861
01:15:24,816 --> 01:15:26,151
Yeah?

862
01:15:27,277 --> 01:15:31,239
I know just who I want for dessert.

863
01:16:55,490 --> 01:16:57,158
Ramona.

864
01:16:58,034 --> 01:16:59,953
Ramona?

865
01:17:06,084 --> 01:17:07,752
Ramona?

866
01:17:17,220 --> 01:17:19,097
Ramona.

867
01:17:20,974 --> 01:17:22,726
Surprise!

868
01:17:22,892 --> 01:17:24,477
See, buddy, I got you breakfast.

869
01:17:24,644 --> 01:17:27,147
Hey, Daddy, Vic brought
my five favorite junk foods.

870
01:17:27,313 --> 01:17:30,650
Elaine, get out the china. We'll inhale
this poison on the good stuff.

871
01:17:30,817 --> 01:17:34,571
-Where's all that plum sauce?
-It's in here, it's in here. Wait a second.

872
01:18:06,811 --> 01:18:09,189
Would you Like some wine, Enid?

873
01:18:14,152 --> 01:18:16,780
You know, I've been thinking, Enid.

874
01:18:17,697 --> 01:18:20,033
For the past couple of years...

875
01:18:20,200 --> 01:18:22,619
...things around here have been...

876
01:18:23,328 --> 01:18:24,662
...stagnant.

877
01:18:24,829 --> 01:18:28,583
Not uncomfortable, mind you, but...

878
01:18:28,750 --> 01:18:31,336
...changeless. Tedious.

879
01:18:32,545 --> 01:18:34,547
Except for Last night,
with Vic and Ramona.

880
01:18:34,839 --> 01:18:37,175
They're a sign. They're a revelation.

881
01:18:37,384 --> 01:18:40,929
They're squeezing the maximum yield
out of Life.

882
01:18:41,638 --> 01:18:43,973
Let's get back to the world
of the living.

883
01:18:44,140 --> 01:18:47,560
Let's move back to the city.
Or move to the country.

884
01:18:47,727 --> 01:18:50,021
I mean, this is neither.

885
01:18:51,189 --> 01:18:52,982
What do you say?

886
01:18:53,441 --> 01:18:55,902
I understand your restlessness, Earl.

887
01:18:56,069 --> 01:18:58,113
But true change comes only
from within.

888
01:18:58,279 --> 01:19:00,281
-Would you pass the wine?
-You feel it too?

889
01:19:00,448 --> 01:19:01,991
Not a bit.

890
01:19:02,158 --> 01:19:04,828
But I do think the city would be
a good idea.

891
01:19:04,994 --> 01:19:06,329
For you, in any case.

892
01:19:07,247 --> 01:19:09,249
But I meant for both of us.

893
01:19:09,457 --> 01:19:11,292
If we had the money...

894
01:19:11,668 --> 01:19:14,004
...I think I'd go back to school.

895
01:19:14,170 --> 01:19:15,964
I'd Like to...

896
01:19:16,131 --> 01:19:20,135
...intensify my Native American
art studies.

897
01:19:20,301 --> 01:19:22,679
We'll have the money.
We'll sell the house.

898
01:19:22,846 --> 01:19:25,432
Vic, here, will buy it.
He's rolling in dough.

899
01:19:25,598 --> 01:19:29,185
Why do you think he crashed his plane
into his house and burned it down?

900
01:19:29,394 --> 01:19:30,812
Why, Daddy?

901
01:19:31,021 --> 01:19:33,440
For the insurance money. Right, Vic?

902
01:19:33,606 --> 01:19:36,151
How much you have the old place
insured for?

903
01:19:37,402 --> 01:19:39,529
He didn't have any insurance.

904
01:19:39,696 --> 01:19:41,364
He never does.

905
01:19:41,781 --> 01:19:43,158
Of course he had insurance.

906
01:19:43,324 --> 01:19:46,619
The bank wouldn’t give him a mortgage
without insurance.

907
01:19:48,580 --> 01:19:50,957
He didn't have a mortgage.

908
01:19:52,792 --> 01:19:54,669
You paid cash?

909
01:19:55,462 --> 01:19:57,422
You rented?

910
01:19:57,964 --> 01:20:00,383
Do you remember
when your neighbor, Mrs. Warren...

911
01:20:00,592 --> 01:20:03,511
...moved to Riverside Nursing Home
after her husband died?

912
01:20:03,678 --> 01:20:06,056
Well, that's when we met her.

913
01:20:06,973 --> 01:20:08,767
Vic used to dress her all the time.

914
01:20:09,893 --> 01:20:12,812
Mrs. Warren would always
ask for Vic.

915
01:20:14,064 --> 01:20:15,899
Well, when she died...

916
01:20:16,066 --> 01:20:18,068
...the house was empty,
so we moved in.

917
01:20:19,861 --> 01:20:22,072
Vic said she wouldn’t mind.

918
01:20:23,698 --> 01:20:25,909
I said it was a steal.

919
01:20:28,328 --> 01:20:30,538
This is really something.

920
01:20:30,997 --> 01:20:33,792
{Y:i}You two ought to be on 60 Minutes.

921
01:20:36,044 --> 01:20:39,172
Yeah, but now we don't have
no place to live.

922
01:20:40,924 --> 01:20:42,592
Daddy, they could live in my room.

923
01:20:42,759 --> 01:20:45,220
Dick's invited me to Florida
for a couple of weeks.

924
01:20:45,387 --> 01:20:47,514
His mom won't be there.
She said it's okay.

925
01:20:47,681 --> 01:20:51,059
You stay out of this. You're not going
anywhere and Dick is off-limits.

926
01:20:51,393 --> 01:20:54,270
Maybe that's not a bad idea
that Elaine had.

927
01:20:54,437 --> 01:20:56,439
I mean, they could stay
in the guest room.

928
01:20:56,606 --> 01:20:59,859
I don't know. That room's loaded
with a Lot of furniture and junk.

929
01:21:00,026 --> 01:21:03,029
If we did stay, we'd really need
the big room, facing the road.

930
01:21:03,363 --> 01:21:05,115
The master bedroom?

931
01:21:05,323 --> 01:21:07,659
Hey, don't worry, we'd earn our keep
around here.

932
01:21:07,867 --> 01:21:09,202
How wonderful.

933
01:21:09,369 --> 01:21:11,204
-No heavy yard work, though.
-Hernia.

934
01:21:11,371 --> 01:21:13,581
Well, I don't know, it is my bedroom.

935
01:21:13,748 --> 01:21:16,793
I kind of have a sentimental
attachment to it.

936
01:21:16,960 --> 01:21:18,294
I'll tell you what.

937
01:21:18,461 --> 01:21:20,296
With a scrub-down
and some carpentry...

938
01:21:20,463 --> 01:21:22,882
...we could make conditions liveable
in the garage.

939
01:21:23,049 --> 01:21:24,342
Garage, huh?

940
01:21:24,968 --> 01:21:28,638
Right. That's it, then.
Ramona, let's hit the road.

941
01:21:28,847 --> 01:21:31,891
Please. Look, I was just kidding.

942
01:21:32,100 --> 01:21:35,145
I want you to stay. Both of you.
You're worth it.

943
01:21:35,645 --> 01:21:37,397
Please stay.

944
01:21:37,564 --> 01:21:39,024
As my friends.

945
01:21:44,362 --> 01:21:45,655
Please.

946
01:21:45,822 --> 01:21:48,324
Stay here, in the outer limits
of the dead-end zone?

947
01:21:48,742 --> 01:21:51,411
Nothing personal, but Life
at the end of the road...

948
01:21:51,619 --> 01:21:55,081
...just ain't for Captain Vic
and Empress Ramona.

949
01:21:55,248 --> 01:21:59,627
Sorry, folks, but you can
color us gone.

950
01:22:02,839 --> 01:22:06,051
Boy, they were neat.

951
01:22:07,135 --> 01:22:09,304
They were beyond neat.

952
01:22:10,138 --> 01:22:12,390
They were extraordinary...

953
01:22:12,557 --> 01:22:14,392
{Y:i}...unique...

954
01:22:15,143 --> 01:22:17,145
...special.

955
01:22:17,312 --> 01:22:19,064
Earl, can you write me a check?

956
01:22:19,230 --> 01:22:22,108
I'm gonna need some money
this week.

957
01:22:23,026 --> 01:22:25,695
-How much?
-How much is in the account?

958
01:22:25,862 --> 01:22:27,197
I don't know.

959
01:22:27,364 --> 01:22:29,366
Where's the checkbook?

960
01:22:30,909 --> 01:22:32,577
The checkbook!

961
01:22:33,995 --> 01:22:36,247
-I'm hungry again. You wanna eat?
-Oh, yeah.

962
01:22:36,414 --> 01:22:40,460
Hold it. Hold it right there, folks.

963
01:22:43,630 --> 01:22:45,590
All right.

964
01:22:46,007 --> 01:22:47,676
Let me have it.

965
01:22:47,842 --> 01:22:49,719
What are you talking about
now, Earl?

966
01:22:49,886 --> 01:22:53,640
My checkbook. Not that there's
any money Left in my account.

967
01:22:53,807 --> 01:22:55,266
That's what you think of me?

968
01:22:55,433 --> 01:22:58,103
I take your hospitality,
I break bread with your family.

969
01:22:58,269 --> 01:22:59,771
You still think I'd rob you?

970
01:22:59,938 --> 01:23:01,606
Look, just give me the checkbook.

971
01:23:01,773 --> 01:23:05,819
I'm not even gonna talk about
the $32 you stole from me Last night...

972
01:23:05,985 --> 01:23:07,987
...when you were
supposed to get dinner...

973
01:23:08,154 --> 01:23:10,573
...and cooked that bogus
spaghetti meal instead.

974
01:23:10,740 --> 01:23:12,075
Your checkbook.

975
01:23:12,242 --> 01:23:14,661
It's on the table in the hall,
next to your wallet.

976
01:23:14,828 --> 01:23:18,248
My wallet! Enid?
Look on the table in the hall.

977
01:23:18,456 --> 01:23:20,834
Do you see my wallet
and checkbook there?

978
01:23:21,710 --> 01:23:24,212
Elaine, get ready to call the police.

979
01:23:24,379 --> 01:23:26,297
Oh, Earl.

980
01:23:26,464 --> 01:23:28,508
Hey. Kojak.

981
01:23:28,717 --> 01:23:30,760
How much is Left in the account?

982
01:23:31,678 --> 01:23:36,057
There's $310 Left in the account.

983
01:23:36,224 --> 01:23:40,186
Vic spent $17 on pants and a shirt
from Goodwill.

984
01:23:40,353 --> 01:23:45,108
And there's a receipt here for $32...

985
01:23:45,275 --> 01:23:47,277
...from Mr. Fong's Fast Chow.

986
01:23:47,444 --> 01:23:50,905
Do you want me to call
the National Guard now, Daddy?

987
01:23:51,072 --> 01:23:52,699
-Elaine, get the car.
-What for?

988
01:23:52,866 --> 01:23:55,285
Just do as I ask.

989
01:23:55,452 --> 01:23:57,245
Please.

990
01:23:57,412 --> 01:23:59,122
Give me the wallet.

991
01:24:00,331 --> 01:24:02,250
All right, now...

992
01:24:02,417 --> 01:24:05,045
...I don't want any argument
about this.

993
01:24:05,628 --> 01:24:09,966
This is the Least I can do after all
the trouble I've put you two through.

994
01:24:10,133 --> 01:24:13,428
I just hope that someday
you can forgive me.

995
01:24:13,595 --> 01:24:15,305
-Here.
-What's that?

996
01:24:15,472 --> 01:24:17,098
It's his vehicle registration.

997
01:24:17,265 --> 01:24:19,726
He just signed over his car to us.

998
01:24:19,893 --> 01:24:21,227
Really, Earl?

999
01:24:21,394 --> 01:24:23,813
Yes. It's all yours.

1000
01:24:23,980 --> 01:24:27,525
I- I want you to have it...

1001
01:24:27,692 --> 01:24:30,362
{Y:i}...because, well...

1002
01:24:30,528 --> 01:24:32,739
Because I just want you to have it...

1003
01:24:32,906 --> 01:24:35,617
...and to get safely to wherever
you're going.

1004
01:24:35,784 --> 01:24:39,913
And, maybe, time and again, you might
think about your old neighbors...

1005
01:24:40,080 --> 01:24:41,414
...here on Burt Street.

1006
01:24:41,581 --> 01:24:43,708
What's happening, Daddy?

1007
01:24:44,417 --> 01:24:47,629
Your old man just gave me
his car, honey.

1008
01:24:47,796 --> 01:24:50,840
-I don't know what to say.
-Oh, you don't have to say anything.

1009
01:24:51,007 --> 01:24:52,550
It doesn't seem enough.

1010
01:24:52,717 --> 01:24:54,344
Oh, Earl.

1011
01:24:54,511 --> 01:24:58,223
You are the best.

1012
01:24:58,390 --> 01:25:01,851
Hey, come on. Take it easy,
super stud.

1013
01:25:02,018 --> 01:25:04,187
You make me Look bad.

1014
01:25:09,401 --> 01:25:13,154
So make sure you take care
of my Little Burt Street beauties.

1015
01:25:13,321 --> 01:25:15,448
-I'll try.
-All right.

1016
01:25:18,827 --> 01:25:20,453
Some time we had, huh?

1017
01:25:20,620 --> 01:25:23,206
Don't drive too long.
You haven't had much sleep.

1018
01:25:23,373 --> 01:25:25,625
Remember those shots
I took at you Last night?

1019
01:25:25,834 --> 01:25:27,168
Yeah, I remember.

1020
01:25:27,377 --> 01:25:28,795
Come here.

1021
01:25:30,213 --> 01:25:33,383
I knew it was you.
That's why I missed.

1022
01:25:34,259 --> 01:25:35,635
Thanks, Vic.

1023
01:25:35,802 --> 01:25:38,596
Oh, I almost forgot.
Check the sticker on the door panel.

1024
01:25:38,763 --> 01:25:41,266
She'll need an oil change
in about 1000 miles.

1025
01:25:41,433 --> 01:25:44,310
Use Wolf’s Head Golden 30-weight.

1026
01:25:44,477 --> 01:25:45,854
It'll never Let you down.

1027
01:25:46,229 --> 01:25:48,106
Thanks, buddy.

1028
01:25:51,526 --> 01:25:53,319
Okay, pal.

1029
01:25:53,486 --> 01:25:56,448
-Bye, folks.
-Goodbye.

1030
01:25:56,614 --> 01:25:59,159
Oh, we'll miss you.
I wish you weren't going.

1031
01:25:59,325 --> 01:26:01,536
-Don't forget to write, huh?
-Bye.

1032
01:26:01,703 --> 01:26:03,955
Be cool, guys.

1033
01:26:22,474 --> 01:26:25,060
{Y:i}And now back to
our afternoon feature...

1034
01:26:25,226 --> 01:26:28,897
{Y:i}...Redstone Romance, starring
Clive Breck er...

1035
01:26:29,064 --> 01:26:31,816
{Y:i}...Marjorie Crane and Sky Saxon.

1036
01:26:31,983 --> 01:26:35,612
Hey, Dad, thanks.
It was far-out. Goodbye.

1037
01:26:35,779 --> 01:26:37,489
-Where you going?
-Back to school.

1038
01:26:38,531 --> 01:26:40,658
Back to school?
I thought you got kicked out.

1039
01:26:40,867 --> 01:26:44,954
Connie Schiff confessed.
They threw her out and cleared me.

1040
01:26:45,121 --> 01:26:49,000
Oh, that's my ride. I gotta go
or I'll miss the train. Bye, Dad.

1041
01:26:54,839 --> 01:26:57,676
-Elaine, I don't want you in that truck!
-I can't hear you.

1042
01:26:57,842 --> 01:27:02,263
I'll call you next week. Don't forget
to mall my allowance. Bye.

1043
01:27:02,430 --> 01:27:04,849
See you later, wart-head.

1044
01:27:10,814 --> 01:27:13,108
Bye, Daddy.

1045
01:27:23,076 --> 01:27:24,411
Where are you going?

1046
01:27:24,577 --> 01:27:28,331
Oh, I have an emergency meeting of my
Native American art study circle.

1047
01:27:28,498 --> 01:27:31,626
-Where'd that getup come from?
-It was a present.

1048
01:27:31,793 --> 01:27:33,336
Oh, that must be Mr. Thundersky.

1049
01:27:33,503 --> 01:27:36,589
-Mr. Thundersky?
-My ride.

1050
01:27:36,756 --> 01:27:40,885
-Who the hell is that?
-Don't wait up. Bye.

1051
01:28:27,599 --> 01:28:32,354
{Y:i}Hello. I'm Charles Haults, president
of Spruce Hill Memorial Chapels.

1052
01:28:32,520 --> 01:28:36,399
{Y:i}For over 50 years, West Valley
families have trusted Spruce Hill...

1053
01:28:36,566 --> 01:28:39,819
{Y:i}...with the interment and care
of their loved ones.

1054
01:28:39,986 --> 01:28:43,114
{Y:i}Now, Spruce Hill Park
and Spruce Hill Monuments...

1055
01:28:43,281 --> 01:28:47,911
{Y:i}...join to offer you a modern concept
in funeral aftercare.

1056
01:28:48,078 --> 01:28:50,622
{Y:i}For the entombment
you've always dreamed of...

1057
01:28:50,789 --> 01:28:52,999
{Y:i}...Spruce Hill now introduces
an exclusive...

1058
01:28:53,166 --> 01:28:56,336
{Y:i}...aboveground display chamber.

1059
01:28:56,878 --> 01:29:00,215
{Y:i}Spruce Hill's aboveground
entombment utilizes a method called...

1060
01:29:00,382 --> 01:29:02,717
{Y:i}...uniform Plexiglas enclosure.

1061
01:29:02,884 --> 01:29:05,011
{Y:i}It ensures permanent preservation...

1062
01:29:05,178 --> 01:29:08,515
{Y:i}...so your loved ones will be able
to see clearly and vividly...

1063
01:29:08,682 --> 01:29:11,476
{Y:i}...the object of their grief, forever.

1064
01:29:11,643 --> 01:29:14,312
{Y:i}Visit Spruce Hill's
Aboveground display chamber.

1065
01:29:14,479 --> 01:29:18,441
{Y:i}The time to choose your case is now.

1066
01:29:23,530 --> 01:29:25,240
Ramona!

1067
01:29:25,407 --> 01:29:27,492
I see you still have
the same old wallpaper.

1068
01:29:27,659 --> 01:29:28,993
Hey.

1069
01:29:29,202 --> 01:29:31,246
You two make a sharp couple.

1070
01:29:32,038 --> 01:29:34,582
You wouldn’t believe it.
It happened at the same time.

1071
01:29:34,749 --> 01:29:38,169
Vic stared at me. I stared at him.
We both knew it was wrong.

1072
01:29:38,336 --> 01:29:40,463
It's just not gonna be any fun
without you.

1073
01:29:40,630 --> 01:29:43,008
Honest? Does that mean you’ll stay?

1074
01:29:43,174 --> 01:29:45,677
-We've got plenty of room.
-No, no. We're past that.

1075
01:29:45,844 --> 01:29:48,680
-You're coming with us.
-Really?

1076
01:29:48,847 --> 01:29:51,391
Me come with you?
No, you don't mean it.

1077
01:29:51,558 --> 01:29:53,435
Sure we mean it. It'll be a blast.

1078
01:29:53,601 --> 01:29:56,271
Come on, Let’s go. We're getting old.

1079
01:29:57,272 --> 01:30:00,066
-The dishwasher's on.
-It'll stay on.

1080
01:30:05,363 --> 01:30:08,825
All right, damn it. You're on.
Let's do it.

1081
01:30:08,992 --> 01:30:12,203
This is crazy, but there's something
so right about it. Let's go.

1082
01:30:12,370 --> 01:30:16,624
-Hold it. Not so fast, pal.
-What?

1083
01:30:16,791 --> 01:30:20,670
Don't you think you should
Leave a note for Enid?

1084
01:30:20,837 --> 01:30:26,593
You're right. In fact, I'll Leave
a Little more than just a note.

1085
01:31:43,169 --> 01:31:47,757
No, no, no. Up front,
right next to Captain Vic.

1086
01:31:47,924 --> 01:31:49,801
-Where are we going?
-How should I know?

1087
01:31:49,968 --> 01:31:52,595
You tell me. I'm just driving.

1088
01:32:03,773 --> 01:32:06,818
-Off into the land of the great unknown.
-Look.

1089
01:32:07,360 --> 01:32:10,989
You weren't kidding. You really are
Leaving a Little more than a note.

1090
01:32:11,156 --> 01:32:14,492
Well, Enid never did Like to come home
to a dark house.

1091
01:35:05,997 --> 01:35:08,083
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