1
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,640
(CROWD MURMURS)

2
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:26,960
How are you?

3
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,520
All right. We're good to go.

4
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,480
I have a two-part question.
I would expect nothing less. Shoot.

5
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,920
The first part is for Mr Dali.

6
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,360
So what was it like working
with Mr Cooper?

7
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,560
And part 2, Bob.

8
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,160
Part 2 is for Mr Cooper.

9
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,400
So what as it like working
with Mr Dali?

10
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,960
..on this tour.

11
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,000
Do you want me to...?

12
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,480
I can't afford to put off
the dry ice.

13
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,360
You know I don't like being
disrespectful to women.

14
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,400
I gotta make this right.

15
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,440
Thank you.

16
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,000
The three golden rules
of rock management, my friend.

17
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,720
One. Get the money. Two, always
remember to get the money.

18
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:53,240
And three, never forget and always
remember to get the money.

19
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,360
Erica, with your life.

20
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,160
We had some freaky, deaky shit.

21
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,320
Alice, you were beautiful. You were
beautiful tonight.

22
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,720
You are not gonna believe who was
in the crowd tonight.

23
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,480
Oh, my God. It's not...

24
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,440
-No.
-Oh, my God. Dylan?

25
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,120
A little bit more out there.
David Crosby?

26
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,680
Way, way, way, way, way, way further
out there.

27
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,560
Bing Crosby?

28
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,600
You're never gonna get it.

29
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,880
Are you ready for this?

30
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:38,880
In the house tonight was
Mr Salvador Dali.

31
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,720
Holy shit.

32
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,760
Salvador Dali?

33
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,880
-Did he like it?
-He loved it.

34
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,200
-He loves you.
-He said that?

35
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,760
No, his old lady did. He didn't say
a word.

36
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,600
The guy's a genius, man.
The guy's a genius.

37
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:58,400
If that gives you one,
drop your kimono

38
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,200
and get ready for the happy ending,
kimosabi.

39
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,880
Because the D Man...

40
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:05,880
..wants to work with you.

41
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:10,360
Oh, Nixon's balls. Salvador Dali
wants to work with me.

42
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,560
-That's right.
-This is it, Shep.

43
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,280
I'm a fucking cultural icon.

44
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:20,640
Think about it. He could have asked
anybody. It could have been Jagger.

45
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,520
It could have been James Taylor.

46
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,000
James Taylor?
JT writes a beautiful melody.

47
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:30,040
-Oh, man, come on.
-Ye-oh! Just seen
Steve with a stash you
won't believe.

48
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,080
Please. Please.

49
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,960
Come on. So what are we talking
about here?

50
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,480
Do I paint?
Cos I got a fine arts degree.

51
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,720
You know,
I haven't painted in a while.

52
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,360
Fucking hell, man. All of that shit's
-surreal.
-Sssh.

53
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,400
Cool. Hey, Alice. Cool.

54
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,800
Let me do my thing, you know?

55
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,320
Because my thing is what I do.

56
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:59,920
Holy crap. I'm gonna be collaborating
with Salvador Dali.

57
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,720
There will be NO collaborating
with the Dali.

58
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,080
He did not collaborate with
the Fascists...

59
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,480
whatever people say.

60
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:19,160
And he will not collaborate
with your ridiculous-looking client.

61
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,600
OK. What are we talking about, then?

62
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:25,880
The Dali will create his greatest
ever work of art.

63
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:31,600
In layman's terms, The Dali is
l'escrit

64
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,200
and your client is the fruit bowl.

65
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:38,760
Ha. Well, in that case, 'the fruit
-bowl' is gonna need 20
-K up front.

66
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,840
And that's before we talk residual.

67
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,760
I refuse to discuss money with you,
Mr Blimmings.

68
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:48,080
You're not discussing it with
Mr Blimmings, madam, but with me.

69
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,000
Shep Gordon.

70
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,200
All right. That just happened.
So....

71
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:01,120
Mr Dali wants to take some kind
of photograph of Alice.

72
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:06,640
Multiple photographs to create a
three-dimensional image

73
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,480
otherwise known as a hologram.

74
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,480
So, good day...

75
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,160
Mr Blimmings.

76
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:19,880
The Dali will see The Cooper
on Monday at noon on the dot.

77
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,280
I really hate to be the suit
in the room here

78
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,320
but we still need to talk money...

79
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,080
..in...er...layman's terms.

80
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:31,560
I can't discuss money
without my husband, The Dali.

81
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,440
Well, can we ask him to join us?

82
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:38,560
(CLUCKING FROM OUTSIDE)
Regrettably,
he is away on business.

83
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:47,560
(BELL PINGS)
So this guy comes in.
He's wearing a crown of thorns.

84
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,800
She slaps him.
He leaves. There's no explanation.

85
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:55,720
-I love it.
-Seriously, man, I've had
Sinatra's guys hold me off

86
00:05:55,760 --> 00:06:00,280
a balcony in Vegas. I've taken a
cricket bat to the gut.

87
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,280
That was a funny thing.

88
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,920
I've even had Colonel Tom Parker put
a gun to my head.

89
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,360
But I swear to God, those guys have
got nothing on this broad.

90
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,640
I'm serious man. She's messed with
-my head.
-She's a surrealist.

91
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:15,280
Which is fine...on stage
in a gallery. I think, the circus.

92
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,560
But you cannot talk percentages
with the clouds.

93
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,800
No sweat, man.
I'm not in this for the bread.

94
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,280
This is a true artist collaboration.

95
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,680
The thing is, I don't even know how
to close the deal with this chick.

96
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,320
Maybe you gotta sacrifice a goat
or something.

97
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,120
Well, I tell you, the one thing
I will not be sacrificing

98
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,400
is your deal, buddy. OK?

99
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,160
We will get it closed
before you finish the hologram.

100
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,360
Where is Dali anyway? They said noon
sharp, right?

101
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,680
I guess it's hard to tell the time
when all your clocks have melted (!)

102
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,720
Ladies and gentleman, The Dali!!

103
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,320
(HEN CLUCKS)

104
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,360
This is what I'm talking about.

105
00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:09,280
(SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

106
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,560
The Dali says dinner is served.

107
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,080
Because the unconscious mind is so
key to your work,

108
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,040
I was wondering how big an influence
Freud is for you.

109
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,480
You want me to cut that for you,
-sir?
-No, he does not, Mr Blimmings.

110
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,440
Again with the Blimmings.

111
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:42,640
Are you, like, making a comment on
the whole role of food

112
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,800
in today's consumerist society?
Net.

113
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,840
Ich waere Russisch.

114
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,040
I'm gonna go with it.

115
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,920
Sorry to interrupt The Dali.
It's just last month's bill...

116
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,680
in the sum of $14,000.
(WHISTLES THROUGH TEETH)

117
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,280
Oh, yes. Of course.

118
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,320
This is the greatest lunch ever.

119
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,760
Yes, sir. Thank you.

120
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,760
Hey, if I signed your shirt, could
I get a bottle of Dom Perignon?

121
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,800
(ALICE SNIGGERS)

122
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:24,720
It's a joke. Busting your balls.

123
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,760
(Oh, yes. Very funny.)

124
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,760
It's good?

125
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,080
So, how do you want me? I'm putty in
your hands, maestro.

126
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:58,600
Ha! Maestro! You forgot this,
you silly old fool.

127
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,040
I should never have left Max Ernst.

128
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:07,000
He would never have prostituted
himself to the Americans!!

129
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,040
You DISGUST me!

130
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,640
Puta! (SPITS)

131
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,320
He is not human nor a fool.

132
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,320
Hang on. You speak English?

133
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,360
It is a good thing...

134
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:27,680
..you did not catch her in one
of her bad moods.

135
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,960
She just spat in your face, man.
-What of it?
-That's cool.

136
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,200
It's cool. You're a couple of
freaks. I did it.

137
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,760
You call my wife...a freak?

138
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,520
No. No. No. I was saying...
No. No. No. No. No. No.

139
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:45,040
We cannot begin this way.
We are finished for today.

140
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,040
Come back tomorrow.

141
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:50,000
And BE ready.
How do you mean 'ready'?

142
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,640
Wear this.

143
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,120
(BELL DINGS)

144
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,720
Listen, buddy, I know the first day
was rough.

145
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,280
I know you called his wife a freak.
(CLUCKS)

146
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,320
But it's OK. You're doing great.

147
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,600
He's playing mind games with you.

148
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,800
He's also got two giant eggs
for boxing gloves.

149
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,760
(CLUCKS)
Yeah. It's a little unorthodox.

150
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,800
(EXHALES)
But you can take him.

151
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,120
Eat him for breakfast.

152
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:28,440
You call those boxing gloves, you
hopeless...

153
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,640
Aren't you meant to be building up
my confidence?

154
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:38,640
And aren't you meant to be
that great genius, Salvador Dali?

155
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,880
(BELL DINGS REPEATEDLY)
Seconds out.

156
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,240
OK. Just another day at the office.

157
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,240
(EXHALES)

158
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,160
Behold, the brain.

159
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,880
Is that a real brain?
Yes.

160
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,680
Really? It looks like a plaster cast.

161
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,720
What's that on top of it?

162
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,120
Confusion.
Isn't it a chocolate eclair?

163
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,760
How is that confusion?
Bzzzzzzzzz!

164
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,640
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH) Rrrrrrrr!

165
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:22,360
OK. So I have to be confused too.
Is that the idea?

166
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,600
No... No. No. No. No. No.

167
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,200
-Sit.
-Here?

168
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,760
OK. Brain chocolate eclair
on red velvet cushion.

169
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,720
(SNIGGERS) Doesn't need anything
else. I dig it.

170
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,760
(YELLS OUT)

171
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,440
(CLICKS FINGERS)

172
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,160
What am I saying? It needs some ants
tipped on it by your old lady (!)

173
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,840
Come on, Mrs Dali, can we not reach
a deal where everybody wins?

174
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:13,040
Did I tell you Paul Eluard and Max
Ernst were incapable

175
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,840
of satisfying me simultaneously?

176
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,880
No, I think I would have remembered
that.

177
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,400
One for to enter the portal of Venus

178
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:26,120
and the other, shall we say,
in the mode a la Grec.

179
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,760
Yeah. Listen...

180
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,800
speaking of the back end...

181
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,480
..if we can't reach a deal here,
I'm gonna have to pull my boy out.

182
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,760
Are you referring to your...

183
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,360
..what your Americans call it,
your cock?

184
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:46,240
Stop trying to throw me off my game
with all this sex talk! Jesus.

185
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,360
(SIGHS) Listen to me.

186
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,720
If you cannot afford to pay Alice,

187
00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:00,000
he will be happy to accept payment
in kind.

188
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,120
He is not getting the diamonds.

189
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,080
He doesn't want the diamonds.
What is he? Liberace?

190
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,880
He wants the brain.

191
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,600
With or without the eclair?

192
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,000
With the eclair and the ants.

193
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,040
All the trimmings.

194
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,840
All the trimmings for Mr Blimmings.

195
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,880
Very well.

196
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,600
But on one condition.
Oh, boy. Here it comes.

197
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,560
The brain must simply disappear.

198
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:33,760
My fool of a husband is getting
a reputation for paying people

199
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,800
with his art.

200
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,840
OK.

201
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,360
Deal.

202
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:45,920
(BANG!)

203
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,920
Tell me if I'm speaking out of turn
here, Senor Dali,

204
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:51,440
but your wife, she's kind of
a pistol, isn't she?

205
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,480
Pistol?

206
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,920
-Pistol.
-Yes. Yes. I like that.

207
00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,160
She has the masculiiiine power
of a pistol.

208
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,360
This is good. Now we're sharing.

209
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,560
She is the man and the woman
combined.

210
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,240
-Like you.
-The what now?

211
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,960
Well, you are Cooper the man, yes?

212
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,200
But you are also Alice the woman.

213
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,120
You are half woman.

214
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:20,680
You do know I'm not a transsexual,
-don't you?
-Yes. Yes.

215
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,880
Trrrrrranssexual.

216
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,920
No. No. No. It's just my stage name.

217
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,840
Alice. My real name's Vince Furnier.

218
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,160
(CLICKS GENERATOR OFF,
IT POWERS DOWN)

219
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,000
You are not Alice Cooper?

220
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:39,440
Well, originally, it was the band's
name, now it's kind of my name.

221
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,480
What? Alice Cooper is just a mask?

222
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,760
Doesn't everybody wear a mask? Isn't
Salvador Dali a mask?

223
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,800
No. No. No. No. No.

224
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,840
I am him; he is me. The Dali.

225
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,560
But you, you just put on
the Alice Cooper mask.

226
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,360
I may not be on the same level
as you are artistically,

227
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,080
but do you know what? I think
I'm a lot happier.

228
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,680
-Happier? Ha!
-Yeah.

229
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:10,160
Who wants to be happy?
The pig is happier than the sheep.

230
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,000
But The Cooper, he could be the
great artist.

231
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,040
Like The Dali.

232
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,800
If only he will sacrifice happiness.

233
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,840
That's a load of art school crock.

234
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,720
Van Gogh didn't need to cut off his
ear to be a great artist.

235
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,880
Cutting off his ear was
-his grrrreatest work of art.
-Yeah.

236
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:32,120
Personally, I prefer Starry Night.
When did he paint Starry Night?

237
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,400
After he cut off his ear!

238
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,360
OK. So what about you? What sacrifice
are you making?

239
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,680
Just bendy clocks and living in
a luxury hotel in Manhattan.

240
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,400
You wouldn't cut off room service.
What do you know of my life?

241
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,960
-The Dali, he's suffered.
-Yeah. Sure.

242
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,720
-At the hands of your wife.
-What?!

243
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,160
I'm just saying...
Kind of a ballbuster, Gala.

244
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,240
Meanwhile, I see you getting nice
and cosy with these young guys.

245
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,360
That is none of your business.
Hey, I'm not judging.

246
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,720
I only pray,
that when I get to your age,

247
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,040
I've got the same pep in my step.
You don't understand.

248
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,960
Ever since he was
a masturbating arts student,

249
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,920
The Dali has been obsessed with me.

250
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,480
It is what drives him.

251
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:17,720
If ever I let him possess me
fully...

252
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,120
then that obsession will die.

253
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,480
And with it, his genius.
I hear you.

254
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,960
Treat 'em mean; keep 'em keen.

255
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,080
Keep the money rolling through
the cash machine.

256
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,920
What a vulgar little man you are.

257
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,920
Oh, yeah? Says back-door babe
over here (!)

258
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,960
Listen, I get it. I get it.

259
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,800
It's tricky.

260
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,400
I keep telling Alice he drinks too
much and he just says,

261
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,400
"What am I supposed to do?
Take up golf?"

262
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,480
No. No. No. No. No.
I'm just a little buzzed.

263
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,360
-I need a bathroom break.
-What?
The Cooper want a potty?

264
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,680
You know what? Fuck it.

265
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,360
(UNZIPS TROUSERS)
You know what this
represents, Cooper?

266
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,200
(URINATES)
Your brain.

267
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,360
You could be the great artist.

268
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:15,440
But you love too much the cheap
confectionarrrrryyyy...

269
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,560
of happiness.

270
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,600
And that is why this chocolate
eclair.

271
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,800
So, if the chocolate eclair is my
desire for happiness,

272
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,240
how come you put your name
on the brain too?

273
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,600
Er...well, because...

274
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,920
And what's with the ants?
..confusion.

275
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,440
Oh, look at you. You're just making
it up as you go along.

276
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:37,560
-That is not true.
-You're a carny
conman. A snake oil salesman.

277
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,720
But you know what? That's cool, man.
I'll drink to that.

278
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,160
(CHOKES AND SPITS)

279
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,320
OK. That was piss.
(CHORTLES)

280
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:54,760
You know, Vincent van Gogh...
he cut off his own ear.

281
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:59,600
Vincent Furnier drinks his own
uri-i-i-i-ine.

282
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,640
You got any mouthwash?

283
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,680
(GARGLES)

284
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,400
Last round coming up, buddy.
Don't let him get into your head.

285
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,480
This whole thing's a piece of...
-You know who you are.
-Yeah.

286
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,520
-You're Alice Cooper.
-Yeah. I am.

287
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,240
-Or Vincent Furnier.
-Or Vincent
Furnier.

288
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,360
-Alice Furnier.
-I'm Alice Furnier.

289
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,400
-Or Vincent Cooper.
-Vincent Cooper.

290
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,280
Who am I?

291
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:30,000
He is not the future of surrealism.

292
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:34,640
He is nothing but a drunken,
Las Vegas clown.

293
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,320
Well, to be fair, my sweet...

294
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:39,360
it was you who suggested we...

295
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:45,000
Shut up and finish him off,
you weak feeble, irrelevant fool!

296
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,320
-Was it?
-Aarrghhhhh!

297
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,400
So you really think this is gonna be,
like, a classic Dali piece?

298
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:02,240
You know, like, up there
with The Persistence of Memory.

299
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,080
But yes, of course.

300
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:09,800
Because, for Dali, he is incapable
of creating anything...

301
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,280
inferior.(SNORTS) Really?

302
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,840
You never just gone, "Fuck it.
That'll do."

303
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,680
Never.

304
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:21,760
So, you're saying, the other day
when you signed that guy's tie,

305
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,480
that tie is every bit as great
as The Metamorphosis of Narcissus?

306
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:29,480
Yes, because The Dali, he signed it.

307
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,960
You do not understand.

308
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,400
Dali is the work of art not the tie.

309
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,440
The tie is...

310
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,040
..ir-r-r-relevant.

311
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,920
So what does that make me?
Am I irrelevant?

312
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,480
Ah. What do you think, Cooper, huh?

313
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:50,200
Will you become the Claude Monet,

314
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:55,480
or just one of the water lilies...

315
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:56,520
(BUZZ)

316
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,720
-..floating in a pond.
-Oh, come on.

317
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,560
You're not gonna compare this
hologram to Monet's Water Lilies.

318
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,600
No, that is not for me to say
because Claude Monet

319
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,520
was in his 80s when he painted
those.

320
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,960
Maybe if I just keep working,
I will create...

321
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:16,760
(CRASH!)
Maybe if you just keep
working (!)

322
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,720
Is that all you are now?

323
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:25,320
Some pathetic old man
who 'just keeps working'.

324
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,960
Who just keeps going.

325
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,680
Where is the surrealism?

326
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:34,760
Here! Dali is sur-r-r-realism.

327
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,880
Don't give me that old line again!

328
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,920
You have failed.

329
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:44,000
Failed...
to put your blood into this.

330
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:48,120
Your genius failed to sacrifice.

331
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,480
What have I not sacrificed?

332
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:54,520
Reality. If you are the great
surrealist...

333
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,880
..sacrifice REALITY!

334
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Fucking A, Mrs D.

335
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,480
(YELLS INCOMPREHENSIBLY)

336
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,560
No, wait. That's a real blade.

337
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,920
Dali is...

338
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:18,080
-One, get a brain.
-I've come to
collect Mr Cooper's fee.

339
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:21,680
Two... Always remember to get
a brain.

340
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,200
So, what was it like working with Mr
-Dali?
-Could you repeat the question?

341
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,640
Three... Alice, don't answer.
..never forget to always...

342
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,040
..remember to get a brain.

343
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,320
Dali. Not... what he thinks or
what...

344
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:36,080
-I had no brain.
-No head.

345
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,120
Alice, you keep away...

346
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,440
-Dali.
-Select The Dali.

347
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:44,280
Please watch it.
(OVERLAPPING VOICES)

348
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,720
(OVERLAPPING VOICES CONTINUE)

349
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,880
No. No. No. NO! Dali!

350
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,360
So what was it like working
with Mr Dali?

351
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,840
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