1
00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:03,020
You know, college fun.

2
00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:04,380
Let go and have fun.

3
00:00:04,780 --> 00:00:06,300
Single and ready to mingle.

4
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:07,540
Yeah, baby!

5
00:00:07,780 --> 00:00:10,260
Didn't I have them on my one -fuck -no
-questions -ask list?

6
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:12,420
Take me to bed right now.

7
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,320
Final up and we'll burn you.

8
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:19,100
Such a complete... Am I not enough for
you?

9
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,960
What are you watching? Anything juicy?

10
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:24,300
You Americans, so excited about sex.

11
00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:25,919
Oh, la la.

12
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:26,920
I gotta switch majors.

13
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:54,430
We did the wedding rehearsal.

14
00:00:55,030 --> 00:00:57,650
Now it's time for the honeymoon
rehearsal, right?

15
00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:02,230
It's bad luck to see the bride the night
before the wedding.

16
00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:06,550
It's bad luck for the bride to see the
groom in that butt floss.

17
00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:08,170
Ever. With this?

18
00:01:09,230 --> 00:01:10,230
I thought of everything.

19
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,750
Now I won't be able to see anything

20
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,280
No more seat planning, bridesmaid
dresses, floral arrangements.

21
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:47,920
No more.

22
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:53,820
I actually really need to... Look, by
this time tomorrow, we're going to be

23
00:01:53,820 --> 00:01:55,280
married. Husband and wife.

24
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,720
That means no more sex.

25
00:01:58,220 --> 00:01:59,220
Game over.

26
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:05,340
So tonight, we're making the most of our
last night of freedom.

27
00:02:08,259 --> 00:02:09,360
You're out of your mind.

28
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,680
That's why you love me.

29
00:02:19,989 --> 00:02:26,970
And the memory

30
00:02:26,970 --> 00:02:32,650
I'm sure you

31
00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:00,530
But that one.

32
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:00,720
having second thoughts?

33
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,460
Are you ready for round two?

34
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,620
Hey, just give me a second to reload.

35
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,720
No, no second thoughts about getting
married.

36
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,240
Baby, I rarely have first thoughts.

37
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,280
Who's there?

38
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,450
What the fuck is that?

39
00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:56,830
I'm warning you. I got a black belt in
origami, sucker.

40
00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:02,650
Stop.

41
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:04,810
Hammer time.

42
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:14,210
Jake?

43
00:08:14,770 --> 00:08:15,810
Jake Marley?

44
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,870
Aren't you wicked cool?

45
00:08:19,550 --> 00:08:20,550
Yes.

46
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,770
Yo, Frankie says relax.

47
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:27,710
You died.

48
00:08:27,930 --> 00:08:32,289
You died in 1985, brother. I've been
rocking the afterlife ever since.

49
00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:35,289
I'm telling you, dude, dead chicks dig
me.

50
00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:37,990
All right.

51
00:08:38,370 --> 00:08:43,669
You had too much to drink. And now
you're dreaming that the founder of the

52
00:08:43,669 --> 00:08:46,130
House is talking to you. Right.

53
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,780
Corks, just take a breath.

54
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,040
Relax.

55
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,880
And... So,

56
00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:03,040
this is what it sounds like when James
cries.

57
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,300
What do you want?

58
00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:10,720
Why are you here?

59
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:12,660
Second thoughts.

60
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,100
Donald and Ivana.

61
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:18,880
Fawcett and Majors.

62
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,200
McGraw and McQueen.

63
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,440
Uh, it's 2008, buddy. It is?

64
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:30,660
Fine. Britney and K -Fab. All I'm saying
is, this marriage ain't gonna work.

65
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,020
I can't believe I'm asking you this,
but... Why?

66
00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:38,160
You're an Omega Man.

67
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:43,160
Omega Men don't settle down with 2 .4
children in a minivan.

68
00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:47,180
No. They get killed in freak sex
accidents.

69
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:48,900
Oh, dude.

70
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,080
She was a freak, all right.

71
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,320
But it was no accident.

72
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,220
Watch and learn, buddy.

73
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,960
I'm about to give her the best orgasm of
her life.

74
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:24,280
Like you're never gonna listen, you'll
deny it. You turn your backwood up and

75
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,280
run again.

76
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,290
Dude,

77
00:11:21,510 --> 00:11:24,990
if you could choose your last five
minutes on earth, tell me you wouldn't

78
00:11:24,990 --> 00:11:25,990
that.

79
00:11:38,259 --> 00:11:40,300
I don't know.

80
00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:44,180
I don't know. I don't know.

81
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,200
You have.

82
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:15,720
I deserve to be punished.

83
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,480
For cheating on me with every girl on
campus.

84
00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:24,500
Ice, ice, baby.

85
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,880
I'm just letting my freaky bitches do
what they need to do.

86
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:44,460
Not too tight, baby This is what they
need to do

87
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,730
What's that supposed to prove, huh?

88
00:13:16,130 --> 00:13:19,930
You got killed for being lying,
cheating, what?

89
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:25,730
Exactly. That's how an Omega man goes
out. Not with a whimper, but a bang. A

90
00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:27,270
fucking bang.

91
00:13:27,730 --> 00:13:31,590
Yeah? Well, speaking of a big fucking
bang,

92
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:34,650
the Omega house is going to be
pulverized.

93
00:13:35,790 --> 00:13:38,230
Dean Lauer's got plans to demolish it.
Yeah.

94
00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:39,630
Not a brick left.

95
00:13:41,290 --> 00:13:42,670
Remind me to go haunt that prick.

96
00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:47,870
You know, I'm not taking advice from a
fucking dead man, all right? I'm getting

97
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:48,870
married tomorrow.

98
00:13:48,890 --> 00:13:50,070
Chill out, big man.

99
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,910
We're halfway there.

100
00:13:52,210 --> 00:13:53,210
Whoa!

101
00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:55,170
What?

102
00:13:55,510 --> 00:13:59,410
What do you want from me? To consider
what you're giving up.

103
00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:01,610
The good times you've had.

104
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:06,670
If I could be reincarnated, I'd come
back as your fingertips.

105
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,210
I've had my fair share of fun.

106
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,900
What about Lady Bird Johnson?

107
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:18,140
The dean's sensual niece.

108
00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:20,580
Yeah.

109
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,260
Sensual. And flexible.

110
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,700
And drunk.

111
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,920
The perfect storm.

112
00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:32,440
Think about what you're missing.

113
00:14:41,930 --> 00:14:43,490
Come on, baby, let me see it. Give me
this thing.

114
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,030
Give me this thing.

115
00:14:46,370 --> 00:14:47,430
Uh -huh.

116
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:50,210
Uh -huh.

117
00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:52,990
Yeah.

118
00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:58,330
Make love to the camera.

119
00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:00,050
Mmm.

120
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:01,770
So juicy.

121
00:15:02,590 --> 00:15:03,590
Hey, Bob.

122
00:15:04,790 --> 00:15:06,210
What do we have here?

123
00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:08,410
I'd rather make love to you.

124
00:15:14,030 --> 00:15:15,009
Easy, tiger.

125
00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:16,350
The dean's next door.

126
00:15:16,770 --> 00:15:17,770
Fuck him.

127
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:21,690
Yeah, I'd rather fuck you.

128
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:53,450
It was good times. No question about
that.

129
00:16:53,690 --> 00:16:54,690
And could be again.

130
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:57,050
All you need is a box of wine and two
bags of chips.

131
00:16:57,870 --> 00:17:03,930
No, those days are over. Don't you miss
the rush of screwing the dean's niece in

132
00:17:03,930 --> 00:17:06,390
his house while he's home?

133
00:17:07,010 --> 00:17:10,569
Me and the dean, we've got a special
relationship now.

134
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:12,550
After the thing with the thing.

135
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:15,010
The thing with the thing?

136
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,080
It's gonna be good.

137
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:21,390
some weird shit in my day, but that,
that, the thing with the thing.

138
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:30,170
Man, I missed those days.

139
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:32,810
And I missed that tape.

140
00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:39,930
This Ophelia, I'm sure she's funky fly
fresh,

141
00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:43,830
but marriage, it's whack.

142
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:50,780
She's put up with my shit all these
years. Oh, take a red bucko.

143
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,260
She's put up with my shit all these
years. Are you?

144
00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:56,480
First shizzle.

145
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,900
And the stuff I put her through.

146
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:04,080
The fact that she talks to my dumb ass,
let alone wants to marry me.

147
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,240
It's a fucking miracle, I tell you.

148
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,280
Regular Mother Teresa.

149
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,600
Yeah, but hotter.

150
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,600
I didn't want to have to show you this.

151
00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:19,900
Please, keep your ghostly junk in your
ghostly pants.

152
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,080
Please be gentle.

153
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,040
This is my first time, you know.

154
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,240
Don't worry.

155
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,320
I'll show you a movie.

156
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:35,620
Something seems to be happening down
there.

157
00:19:36,580 --> 00:19:39,040
There sure is.

158
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,530
Now what do we do?

159
00:19:49,310 --> 00:19:50,310
We fuck.

160
00:19:53,910 --> 00:20:00,710
I give that

161
00:20:00,710 --> 00:20:02,230
move a 9 .0 for difficulty.

162
00:20:24,910 --> 00:20:25,930
Do we have to watch this?

163
00:20:27,130 --> 00:20:28,109
You're right.

164
00:20:28,110 --> 00:20:31,210
There's a puppet show starting at 10.
Yeah, we have to watch this.

165
00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:40,470
I already

166
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:45,570
know how it ends.

167
00:21:39,690 --> 00:21:40,690
finished and strong.

168
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:45,490
Not bad for your first time, huh?

169
00:21:45,890 --> 00:21:46,890
Oh, yeah.

170
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,890
Well, give me a few minutes. I'll be
ready for my second time.

171
00:21:50,170 --> 00:21:51,170
Well, James.

172
00:21:53,670 --> 00:21:55,370
Oh, fuck. Who's that?

173
00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:58,230
That's Ophelia, my ex -girlfriend.

174
00:21:58,890 --> 00:22:00,090
Hi, I'm Kimberly.

175
00:22:02,510 --> 00:22:03,730
When did you guys break up?

176
00:22:04,170 --> 00:22:05,450
About five seconds ago.

177
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,930
That was a fun trip down amnesia lane.

178
00:22:16,430 --> 00:22:19,570
Remind me never to dream you up again,
freak.

179
00:22:20,510 --> 00:22:27,250
This long -term relationship thing, it's
not all sucky, fucky, sticky fun.

180
00:22:27,810 --> 00:22:28,810
I know.

181
00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:34,470
When you give someone your heart, you
risk it being broken.

182
00:22:37,290 --> 00:22:39,250
What? Never heard of Dr. Ruth?

183
00:23:21,580 --> 00:23:23,260
So I had to leave her the ring?

184
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,840
You want her to come rushing back,
right?

185
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,910
All she had to say was stop.

186
00:23:33,630 --> 00:23:35,490
Turn the cab right around.

187
00:23:35,730 --> 00:23:39,690
Forget Borneo and come back to the man
she loves.

188
00:23:41,130 --> 00:23:43,210
But she didn't. No.

189
00:23:43,930 --> 00:23:47,030
She chose Royce instead.

190
00:23:51,770 --> 00:23:58,670
If I could touch myself, I'd rub one out
right

191
00:23:58,670 --> 00:23:59,670
now.

192
00:24:12,780 --> 00:24:14,340
That's the breakfast of champions.

193
00:24:15,540 --> 00:24:16,940
Oh, no, my champion.

194
00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:18,860
Breakfast is on me.

195
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:53,640
Even when she's with the Antichrist, she
can't help but think of me.

196
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,840
You're a tough nut to crack, you know
that?

197
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,340
You know how much I get paid for this?

198
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:09,920
Nothing. The big man upstairs says that
virtue is its own reward. I'm telling

199
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,420
you, I'm going on strike.

200
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,400
Listen here.

201
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,740
I feel sorry for you, bud, and I'm sorry
I'm making things hard on you, but...

202
00:26:18,830 --> 00:26:19,830
I love her.

203
00:26:23,130 --> 00:26:24,730
You okay there?

204
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,250
Bogus.

205
00:26:26,750 --> 00:26:31,150
Do you want to see what you're missing
out on if you marry that mall tank?

206
00:26:31,450 --> 00:26:33,270
No, not really. Not at all.

207
00:26:44,290 --> 00:26:45,630
And I was alone.

208
00:26:46,150 --> 00:26:47,570
And there was a girl.

209
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:50,870
But there is always a girl.

210
00:26:51,350 --> 00:26:52,910
I pick up the phone.

211
00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:56,970
Now that's the life.

212
00:26:58,630 --> 00:27:00,270
Enough of this shit, all right?

213
00:27:00,510 --> 00:27:01,930
This is my dream, right?

214
00:27:02,490 --> 00:27:05,850
Uh, yeah, but you really... Then enough!

215
00:27:08,190 --> 00:27:11,770
Baby, you're not gonna believe what I
just dreamt.

216
00:27:14,630 --> 00:27:15,630
Baby?

217
00:28:20,750 --> 00:28:21,750
Come on, idiot.

218
00:28:21,910 --> 00:28:25,490
The wedding's in three hours. I need
your help. Please, find James.

219
00:28:25,790 --> 00:28:26,890
What are you doing here?

220
00:28:27,290 --> 00:28:29,350
If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't
meant to be, right?

221
00:28:30,130 --> 00:28:33,610
You want to try and steal my dynamite,
is that it? I'm laying it on the line.

222
00:28:33,810 --> 00:28:35,390
Cooper, I'm ready to start.

223
00:28:41,290 --> 00:28:44,970
She's never ever, she's never ever
better than me.

224
00:28:46,370 --> 00:28:49,150
She's never ever, she's never ever.

225
00:28:49,580 --> 00:28:55,020
better than me and she's never ever ever
better than me