1 00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:09,843 - Lawrence Rutherford, founder of this town 2 00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:11,553 and my patriarchal ancestor. 3 00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:14,055 He brokered a uniquely fair and honest deal 4 00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,932 with our neighbors, the Minishonka, 5 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,685 thus establishing our town. 6 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,020 - What do you want? 7 00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,271 - Something that was ours to begin with. 8 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:22,772 - That land includes 9 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,232 the Rutherford Falls Heritage Museum, 10 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,817 AKA my house. 11 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,695 - We present to you Ye Olde Rutherford Village. 12 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:31,197 - The entire town center will be transformed 13 00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,158 into 17th century Rutherford Falls. 14 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,201 - So you're gonna take my land 15 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,537 but allow me to stay on it under your terms? 16 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,415 - Think of it as a fair and honest deal. 17 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:43,710 - Elizabeth is Nathan's mom, but who is this Ronnie guy? 18 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:46,838 - I don't think Nathan's technically a Rutherford. 19 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,048 - I can't be with a guy 20 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,924 who destroys my best friend's entire life. 21 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:51,509 - I'm sorry, Reagan. 22 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,802 - Do you know how much wood I've chopped, 23 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,262 how many cars I've washed, 24 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,056 dirty dancing classes I taught? 25 00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,140 - Oh. 26 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,309 - Hey, Bobbie, just a quick FYI, 27 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,436 I'm closing the museum 28 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,772 for approximately ever. 29 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,523 I'll see you later. 30 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:10,862 [jaunty piano beat] 31 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,531 - Previously on "An American Powder Keg"... 32 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,742 - Shut your stupid pieholes! 33 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,702 Big Larry's gonna stay right where he is. 34 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,662 - Is it not accurate to say that your family 35 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:21,081 introduced whiteness to the region? 36 00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:22,415 - Nathan did try to pay off 37 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,292 his family's debt with popcorn. 38 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,045 - From WNHY New York, I'm Josh Carter, 39 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,255 and this is "An American Powder Keg: 40 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:31,257 The Story of Nathan Rutherford." 41 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,802 In this final chapter of the podcast, 42 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,846 we reflect on all that's changed. 43 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,807 Much of the town of Rutherford Falls, 44 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,559 now partially owned by the Minishonka Nation, 45 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,896 has been completely transformed into some sort of 46 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,857 colonial-themed tourist destination. 47 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:51,611 But the question remains: where's Nathan? 48 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,489 Having lost everything, this once vocal mouthpiece 49 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:58,368 for the Rutherford name has seemingly vanished, 50 00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:01,287 ignoring repeated requests for comment. 51 00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:02,997 As his family's legacy fades, 52 00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:05,750 I can't help but hope that wherever he is, 53 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,877 he's found his place in the world. 54 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,504 "An American Powder Keg" is brought to you 55 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,256 by Unbiased Undies. 56 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,341 Unbiased Undies make me feel sexy... 57 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,801 - Reagan. - And supported. 58 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:15,760 [music cuts] 59 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,263 - Reagan, they're here. Come on. 60 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:19,431 - Be right there. 61 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:25,812 [upbeat music] 62 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,522 The history of Indigenous people 63 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:31,026 is the greatest story never told, until now. 64 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:34,738 I'm proud to welcome you to the new Minishonka Cultural Center 65 00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:38,616 and Northeast Regional Historical Exhibition Museum. 66 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,910 We're working on the name. Follow me. 67 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,495 - Hi. Welcome. 68 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:43,788 By entering, you relinquish your rights 69 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,749 to all media content created on-site. 70 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:46,666 Enjoy your visit. 71 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,668 - Minishonka parents still use 72 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,587 cradle boards like this one to hold their babies, 73 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,796 freeing their hands to work. 74 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,882 And check this out. 75 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,216 Baby bling. 76 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,384 Baby doesn't even see this side. 77 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,678 It's just a flex. 78 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,222 These 19th century moccasins made from deer skin 79 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,433 and beadwork are my favorite piece here, 80 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,643 or they will be, if they ever arrive. 81 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,437 Timothy at the shipping company, 82 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,439 he's blaming the delay on general climate change. 83 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,942 I'm like, "Sure, Timothy." Not your problem, though. 84 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,069 - Hey, possums. 85 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,945 Are you a second-season Netflix show? 86 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,573 'Cause you just got canceled! Ah-ah! 87 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,533 - Ow, ow, ow, ow. Chill. 88 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,285 Lawrence Rutherford did end 89 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,621 the Great Possum Infestation of 1812, 90 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:25,872 but he would have surely lost 91 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,582 if it weren't for the Minishonka, 92 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,959 who dropped some much-needed wildlife knowledge. 93 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,295 - Without the Minishonka, you'd all be dead. 94 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,548 - I mean, I didn't say it, but... 95 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,384 I hope you enjoyed the tour today. 96 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,761 Um, any questions? Yeah? 97 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:43,014 - Why isn't the Minishonka Cultural Center on Indian land? 98 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,891 And furthermore... - Furthermore, okay. 99 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:48,144 - When will you decolonize this oppressive museum space? 100 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:53,358 - Well, the concept of a museum is a European idea, 101 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,402 so it's impossible to decolonize, 102 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,904 but we can reclaim it and make it our own. 103 00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,949 And we are building a museum on our rez. 104 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,743 It'll be done in a year or so, so relax. 105 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,830 And furthermore, isn't this all Indian land? 106 00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:08,415 Anyone else? 107 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,792 - Does Nathan know that you touched his stuff? 108 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:11,960 Also, where is he? 109 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,212 - Ms. Fish, as I told you yesterday 110 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,381 and every tour for the last two months, 111 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,716 I don't know where Nathan is. 112 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:18,967 He's taking some space for himself, 113 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,385 and we're giving it to him. - Fine. 114 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,594 I didn't know if there was an update. 115 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,179 - Bobbie, take us home, please. 116 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,597 - Astronaut ice cream. 117 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,599 Who wants? Who wants? 118 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,935 And go get 'em. Go get 'em. 119 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,103 And go get 'em. 120 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:33,106 [upbeat music] 121 00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:37,944 * * 122 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:40,613 - Did the slideshow for Terry's birthday. 123 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,908 I timed it to play for the whole party, no repeats. 124 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,785 - Terry hates surprises, so a surprise party's 125 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,454 really gonna catch him off guard. 126 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,956 - Hmm, logic tracks to me. [watch beeps] 127 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,542 Oh, I really got to get to my next appointment. 128 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,626 [watch chimes] 129 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,295 And there's my meditation reminder. 130 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,796 - Meditation? - Yeah. 131 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,923 I'm just trying out little chunks of self-care. 132 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,884 It's been stressful. - Oh, I feel you. 133 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:01,926 I mean my plate is full. 134 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,470 That's why I wake up every morning 135 00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,430 at 3:45 a.m. 136 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,098 And until Terry wakes up at 4:15, 137 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,559 that's my time, that's Renee's time. 138 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:10,560 - Mm. [watch chimes] 139 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,103 Oh, meditation over. 140 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,105 Not one of my more effective ones, I've got to say. 141 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,858 - Oh, before I forget, I have another batch of photos to add. 142 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,652 I know it's a little after the deadline, but so what, right? 143 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,780 - Right. Yeah, what is a deadline anyway 144 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:25,408 but some dumb time boundary to help us not lose our minds? 145 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,243 - Reagan, I need to speak with you. 146 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,995 It's an emergency. - Oh. 147 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,792 - There's a ghost in the building. 148 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,669 Like, for real. - Bobbie, stop. 149 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,129 - I've heard noises and sounds. - Those are the same. 150 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,673 - Creaky floors. Humming. 151 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,758 Sometimes I get a chill out of nowhere, 152 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,009 especially by the windows. 153 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,011 - You know what, I wish there was a ghost. 154 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,846 I could use the help. [watch beeps] 155 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,099 Ugh, stop yelling at me. You're a watch! 156 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,685 - Uh, so what are we thinking, ghost-wise? 157 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,062 - There's no ghost. Please just do your job. 158 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:54,979 I'm so late. 159 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,439 Love you. Got to go. - Uh... 160 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,862 - With our acquisition and reimagining of the town square, 161 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:05,448 we've now completed phase four, subphase eight. 162 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:09,077 But phase four, subphase nine is where things really heat up. 163 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,621 - Yep, subphase nine's a real banger, 164 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,915 but Terry, I can't take any more information. 165 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,584 If you stuff anymore in, it's gonna come out the other end. 166 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,752 - Relax. You're just not used 167 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,295 to being a high-performing individual. 168 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,547 - Rude. - Let me ask you. 169 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:21,673 How much water do you drink? 170 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,050 - This is not about water. 171 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,552 Why? How much should I be drinking? 172 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,220 - Imagine a lot. 173 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,014 Imagine too much. 174 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,056 It's more than that. 175 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,474 - [huffs] 176 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,143 Oh, pfft. [laughs] 177 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,728 No. Oh, my gosh. 178 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:37,063 I'm not drinking all this. It's like a kiddie pool. 179 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,274 - There's all kinds of life hacks to help you optimize. 180 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,859 Cold showers, random sprints, 181 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,736 calibrating chews per bite. 182 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:43,778 I'll send you some articles. 183 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,488 - The last thing I need 184 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,407 is homework telling me how to do more homework. 185 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,034 I need a real support staff. 186 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,577 I'm doing the work of three people. 187 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,037 - The revamp drained us. 188 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,247 We should be cutting budgets, not expanding them. 189 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:57,083 But I might have something that could solve your problems. 190 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,376 - Is it the water? 191 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,377 - The water, yes. 192 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,879 - Mm-hmm. 193 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,298 - So this is your basic ghost hunting equipment. 194 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:07,260 We got a thermo reader, radio frequency jammer. 195 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,595 - Some Reese's Pieces, 196 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,347 in case it's like an "E.T." type ghost. 197 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,598 - Wasn't E.T. an alien? 198 00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,558 - Don't question us. 199 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,769 Ghosts are serious business, 200 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,937 especially in a place like this. 201 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,023 - What do you mean? What does he mean? 202 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:23,109 - Obviously, there are a lot of white ghosts here pissed off 203 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,986 because Indians have occupied the space. 204 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,322 - But we brought a bunch of their sacred items 205 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,115 to lure 'em out. 206 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,326 A "Cheers" DVD, 207 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,495 a $9 bottle of chardonnay, 208 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,539 and Malcolm Gladwell books. 209 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,041 They can't get enough of these. 210 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,459 - Did you do the prep we asked for? 211 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,794 - Yes, I left a plate 212 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,629 of grilled, unseasoned chicken out as bait. 213 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,464 I put it right here on the-- 214 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,883 [gasps] The chicken is missing. 215 00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,552 The chicken is missing! 216 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,179 - Show yourself, spirit. 217 00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:58,895 - Every time we visit, 218 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,730 it takes my breath away. 219 00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,357 Can you feel the excitement? 220 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,067 - I feel kind of nauseous. 221 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,653 All this faux patriotism makes my tummy hurt. 222 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,279 - Reagan, this is how we get our land back, 223 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,365 one hand-dipped candle at a time. 224 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,616 - Ugh. - Someday, 225 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,909 Ye Olde Rutherford Village will be 226 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,494 as popular as Times Square. 227 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:17,539 - Yep, I can already picture the Ye Olde Red Lobster. 228 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:18,581 - Terry. 229 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,583 - Oh, boy. 230 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,585 - Terry Thomas. - Feather Day. 231 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:23,878 - I know who I am. 232 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,256 The question is, who do you think you are 233 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,591 shoving this old-timey colonizer crap 234 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,759 down our gullets? 235 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:33,096 Because as a proud Minishonka woman, 236 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,640 I must say, that is not our way. 237 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:36,725 - There's no need for dramatics. 238 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:37,976 As I said at the council vote, 239 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,477 this undertaking will benefit all of-- 240 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,729 - As you know, 241 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,939 I run a gym called Sweat. 242 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:45,483 First sessions are free. Generous referral program. 243 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,609 - Oh, I'm good. 244 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,278 - See? Sweat was a great name. 245 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,946 Sharp, clean, sensual. 246 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,490 Nobody wants to set foot in Ye Olde Sweat. 247 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,117 - Or eat at Ye Olde Soup Depot. 248 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,077 - I mean, did we want to eat at regular Soup Depot? 249 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,455 - Folks, it's just branding. 250 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,540 - We should be free to call our businesses whatever we want. 251 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:01,666 - Mm-hmm. 252 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,460 What I'm hearing from our community 253 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:07,797 is that your dumb plans are infringing on our freedom. 254 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:08,965 - Oh. - Hold on. 255 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:09,966 Cool it with the F-bombs. 256 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,009 - I like freedom, Terry. 257 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,052 - Yeah, freedom rules. 258 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,094 - Okay, that's enough, Arnold. 259 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,179 - Look, pretty soon, we're all 260 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,139 gonna be swimming in a lot of money. 261 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:19,309 Try not to sweat the small stuff. 262 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,977 - I have the right 263 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,979 to sweat what and where and whom I choose 264 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,606 because that is America, 265 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:27,484 and this is not over. 266 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,694 Come on, Arnold. Keep up. 267 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:32,614 - Hmm. 268 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,532 [tense music] 269 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,702 [device beeping] 270 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,123 [floorboard creaks] 271 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:55,679 - [gasps] - [grunts] 272 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,013 - It's not a ghost. It's a pervert. 273 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,098 Kick him! Kick him! 274 00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,724 - No! No, no, no, no, no, no. 275 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,476 - Wait, stop. Stop. 276 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:02,602 It's Nathan. 277 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,354 - Nathan? 278 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,897 - Hi, Bobbie. 279 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,027 - WebMD says to apply this on and off for 15 minutes. 280 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,987 And tell me, what the hell is going on? 281 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,782 - Okay, but it's gonna take a while to really parse 282 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,909 through all of the nuances of my situation. 283 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,202 - He came back two months ago 284 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,079 and was super embarrassed about how he acted 285 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,540 and Josh's podcast about how he acted, 286 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,042 so he hid in the attic. 287 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,378 - That's pretty much all the nuances. 288 00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,588 - But what have you been doing up here? 289 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,173 - I've been working on myself, 290 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,050 you know, examining my blind spots. 291 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,760 I read the book "White Fragility," 292 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:36,845 and then I read another book about 293 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,054 how "White Fragility" is bad, 294 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:39,889 and then I read a third book called 295 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,224 "White 'White Fragility' Fragility" 296 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,935 about how white people are super fragile 297 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,812 about the book "White Fragility." 298 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,147 - It's been a real journey for him, 299 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:48,773 and for me, via text. 300 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,650 - I'm almost ready to rejoin society. 301 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,110 I just have to nail my reentry. 302 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,196 People think I'm a selfish jerk, and they're not wrong. 303 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,240 I have to apologize to everyone 304 00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:00,410 and make sure they know I've grown and changed as a person. 305 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,746 I'm thinking something splashy, mid-July. 306 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,456 - That's ten months away. 307 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,999 - Yeah, I know. It's gonna be tight. 308 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,418 - So you're just gonna hang out here all alone? 309 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:09,502 - Well, he's not alone. 310 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,296 I've been here with him, helping him out, 311 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,257 sacrificing what little free time I have for that. 312 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,468 And of course, in return, he's been helping me, 313 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,012 you know, check off some of the stuff on my long to-do list. 314 00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,221 - I knew there was no way 315 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,473 you could do all this on your own. 316 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,059 You've accepted so many unearned high fives. 317 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,771 And Nathan, you may not have been a ghost, but... 318 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,272 you ghosted me. 319 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:33,610 - Bobbie, I clearly owe you a huge apology, 320 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,196 and you're gonna get a doozy, 321 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,947 with everybody else, circa July. 322 00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:39,866 - Or now. - Hmm? Now? 323 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,201 - Read the room, bud. 324 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:42,744 - But... 325 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,120 Ah, okay. 326 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,455 [chuckles nervously] All right. 327 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,540 Even though I am many drafts away 328 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:50,126 from even being workshop ready, let's give it a try. 329 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:53,630 Keep in mind, this is a rough draft. 330 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,256 Um, Bobbie... 331 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,135 I-- - I forgive you! 332 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,513 Of course I forgive you. 333 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,931 - Oh! 334 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:06,267 [sighs contentedly] 335 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,437 - I know the financials aren't a home run, 336 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,648 but are we talking ground rule double, 337 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,191 maybe a triple? 338 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,735 - This is more like if the batter flipped off the crowd 339 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:16,945 and then crapped his pants. 340 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,488 - Why would he do that? 341 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:21,449 - Business at the rebranded shops has actually gone down. 342 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:24,619 You bet on Americana at the exact moment in history 343 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,663 when the American brand is in the dumpster. 344 00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,039 - But that's temporary, right? 345 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,000 Eventually, Mark Wahlberg will make some movie 346 00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,168 about an EMT who adopts a shelter dog, 347 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,753 and together, they'll save the Super Bowl, 348 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:37,048 and then everyone will be back on board with America, right? 349 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,383 - I mean... 350 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:41,845 [sighs] 351 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,847 - Well, thanks for the rundown, Al. 352 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,098 - Yeah. 353 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,516 - I'm confident we'll right the ship. 354 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,684 - I hope so, 355 00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,811 because as they say in the big leagues, 356 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,563 you can only crap your pants once. 357 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,524 [determined music] 358 00:12:54,566 --> 00:13:01,531 * * 359 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,538 - Here we go. - Shake it up. Shake it up. 360 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:11,624 - Tonight's P.F. Chang's and a movie pairing is... 361 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,336 "Honey, I Walnut the Shrimp." [both laugh] 362 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,545 Been looking forward to this one. 363 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:16,588 - Yeah. 364 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,672 Man, I'm still riding high 365 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,174 off that Bobbie forgive. 366 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,216 Do you think I should do the big apology now 367 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,217 instead of waiting for July? 368 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,677 Is that insane? - I mean, 369 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,055 as much as I hate to lose my white man in the cupboard, 370 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,598 it's clearly the right move. 371 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,308 - Hmm. - All right. 372 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,518 Let me give Chang's a call. 373 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,687 140 new messages? 374 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:33,938 - Whoa. 375 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,148 - The cultural center was my dream, 376 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:37,067 but I think it's slowly killing me. 377 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,235 - Aw. - Look, my eye twitch is back. 378 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,737 - Oh, yeah. It's Morse code. 379 00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:43,031 "Forget work. 380 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,240 Walnut shrimp." - [sighs] 381 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:45,950 You're right. No work talk. 382 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,745 Tonight is about you, me, and Moranis. 383 00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:49,829 - A-boom. 384 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,289 Hey, wardrobe-wise, 385 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,083 do you think a societal reentry is black tie? 386 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,084 - [sighs] - No. 387 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,126 It's very inappropriate 388 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,252 for me to ask you to take that on. 389 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,754 I take responsibility. 390 00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:01,049 - Well, look at you stepping up and owning your business. 391 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,592 - Mm-hmm. 392 00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,427 - Also, I'm gonna need you to add 40 new photos 393 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,471 to Terry's birthday slideshow. - Copy that. 394 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,143 - This apology's got to be big, 395 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,561 but humble. 396 00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:16,356 Effective, but effortless. 397 00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:18,858 - Big, humble, effective, effortless. 398 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:19,859 Love that. 399 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:20,944 - Something that says, 400 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,320 "Nathan Rutherford is back, 401 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,197 and he is better than ever, baby!" 402 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,700 - [laughs] I have the chills. 403 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:28,410 Look. 404 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,412 - Bobbie, are you sure you're okay helping me 405 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,330 even though you're not my assistant anymore? 406 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,541 - Yes. We're still besties. 407 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,668 So get ready to proof my college apps 408 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,877 and lend me your car when I want 409 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,170 to go antiquing in Saratoga. 410 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,588 - Deal. 411 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,090 All right. What's gonna make the best apology? 412 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,009 I was working on this whole speech, 413 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,177 but it's, like, ugh, you know? 414 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,014 And so, I'm just--I'm tossing it out, starting from scratch. 415 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,850 First blurt: five-part rock opera. 416 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:56,479 We call it "Nathan Rutherford: A Redemption Spectacular." 417 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:59,566 - Obsessed, but you capped the budget at $50. 418 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,901 Maybe focus on making amends. 419 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,111 - Okay, good. Amends. 420 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,863 How do you make amends? 421 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,906 I stand in the middle of town square. 422 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,950 Anyone I've wronged can just walk up and insult me 423 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,577 or physically punish me. 424 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,287 - It's gonna seem like you're into that, 425 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,913 which, no judgies-- 426 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,206 - Zoom out. 427 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,708 Where are we with celebrity integrations? 428 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,627 - Fallon, Kimmel, and Colbert haven't returned my calls. 429 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,880 James Corden did, but you don't want that. 430 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,214 - Gah, why is this so hard? 431 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,716 I wish it could just be like it was with you. 432 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,344 It was so natural. I loved how I was being. 433 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,346 - I loved how I was being. 434 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:31,431 - Oh, my God. 435 00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,224 Did we just crack this? 436 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,851 - No idea where you're going with this, 437 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,353 but it feels like a moment. 438 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,355 I'm gonna take a video. 439 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,650 [light chatter] 440 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,235 - No, make sure those quiche cups stay warm 441 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,278 but don't dry out. 442 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,529 Those balloons are sagging. 443 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:47,947 What, is there a helium shortage? 444 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,657 - Sorry! - Reagan. 445 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,951 Terry's almost here, and there's still so much to do. 446 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,037 - Oh, I'm sure you got it. It looks amazing-- 447 00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:56,039 - So many tasks, so few competent people, 448 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:56,956 you know what I mean? 449 00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,625 - Mm. 450 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,044 Is there anything I can do? - Oh, you're a saint. 451 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,253 I'm not gonna do that thing 452 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,463 where I say, "No," and then you insist. 453 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,548 I respect you too much. - Ah. 454 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,841 - Now, go decorate the cake. 455 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,551 - Oh, like, professionally? 456 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,470 - They wanted 100 bucks to write a little message. 457 00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:11,638 I have the frosting. 458 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:12,972 There's an app that teaches calligraphy. 459 00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,183 Now, go! - Okay. 460 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,394 - I've been helping Reagan plan Terry's party for weeks. 461 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:18,478 The guest list? 462 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,063 It's a veritable who's who 463 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,148 of who's who in Rutherford Falls. 464 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,608 - I think it's just one who's who. 465 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,151 - [laughs] Not when it's this elite. 466 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,945 You need two who's whos. 467 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,114 It's the perfect opportunity for a mass apology. 468 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,825 Now, here's the memory stick. Let's go over this again. 469 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:34,994 I'm gonna sneak in undetected, find the perfect hiding spot-- 470 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,789 - And then emerge like a butterfly from its chrysalis. 471 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,749 You don't think I have this memorized? 472 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,668 - I'm sorry for underestimating you. 473 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,169 - Forgiven. 474 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,505 Let's do this. 475 00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,257 I'll see you inside. - No. No, you won't. 476 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,717 Because I'm gonna find the perfect hiding spot. 477 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,677 - I know. - I know you know. 478 00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:51,678 Okay. 479 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,223 - Call the foreman and tell him 480 00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:57,517 that we need to hit pause on the next phase 481 00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:58,852 while I figure a few things out. 482 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,979 Listen, I'm walking into dinner with my wife, 483 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,981 and I need to get off the phone for my own safety. 484 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,649 So, we'll talk soon. 485 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:09,279 all: Surprise! 486 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:13,074 [cheers and applause] 487 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,785 - Did you do this? - Well, I had to do something. 488 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:18,204 You're turning-- - No need to get into details. 489 00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,165 [laughter] - Sorry. 490 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:24,085 And I have an even bigger surprise. 491 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:30,967 - * Now I've had the time of my life * 492 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,720 * No, I never felt like this before * 493 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:36,222 - Do you still remember? - Are you kidding? 494 00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,141 I taught these moves for three years. 495 00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:39,726 - [chuckles] 496 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:42,020 - * And I owe it all to you * 497 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:46,733 - * 'Cause I've had the time of my life * 498 00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:48,651 [cheers] 499 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:54,074 * And I owe it all to you * 500 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:59,662 * * 501 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,915 - * I've been waiting for so long * 502 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:05,919 * Now I've finally found someone to stand by me * 503 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,546 [cheers and applause] 504 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,924 - * We saw the writing on the wall * 505 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:16,096 * As we felt this magical fantasy * 506 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,764 * * 507 00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:19,808 both: * Now with passion in our eyes * 508 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:24,854 * There's no way we could disguise it secretly * 509 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,439 * * 510 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:28,733 * So we take each other's hand * 511 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:33,405 * 'Cause we seem to understand the urgency * 512 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,115 [distant cheers] 513 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,408 - Sounds fun. 514 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,701 Would love to be enjoying myself, 515 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,036 but sadly, my whole life is this. 516 00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:42,747 [gasps] Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit! 517 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,541 - I think you're supposed to drink that, 518 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:46,167 not ruin cakes with it. 519 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,377 - Wayne, I swear. 520 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:48,503 [sighs] Sorry. 521 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:50,171 I just didn't think I would be 522 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:52,132 coming here to do more work. 523 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:54,217 - Same. Renee asked me to do this earlier, 524 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,677 and I was like, "Nah, man." 525 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:57,595 - I'm sorry. You said, "Nah, man"? 526 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,014 That's something you can just say? 527 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,515 - Hell yeah. You know, whenever somebody 528 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,142 asks me to do something annoying 529 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,310 or it's just one of those times I need to kick back and chill, 530 00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:05,645 like a Tuesday. - Mm-hmm. 531 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:06,771 - And it's not like I'm the only one 532 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,774 that can do this stuff, so nah, man. 533 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,901 - Is that why you never seem stressed? 534 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,653 I just thought you were always high. 535 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:16,031 - Oh, well, yeah, also that. 536 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,824 - No, no. This makes sense. 537 00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:21,327 I think that's what setting a boundary actually is. 538 00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:22,662 Thanks, Wayne. 539 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,207 Can you help me fix the cake? 540 00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:28,460 - I think you know what I'm gonna say to that. 541 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,420 - Got it. Yeah. 542 00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:37,594 both: * Because I've had the time of my life * 543 00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:40,680 * No, I never felt this way before * 544 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,182 - Looks pretty good out there, huh? 545 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,641 - Don't love the centerpieces, but listen. 546 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,268 I spoke to the DJ. 547 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,687 When the dance is done, they'll take the spotlight off Terry 548 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,814 and put it on you, then play the video. 549 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,359 Everyone will know it's your moment. 550 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,195 - Yes. Yes. 551 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:58,031 [both chuckle] 552 00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:00,533 Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm, this doesn't feel right. 553 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,077 Ah. Oh. 554 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,536 I'm about to make a terrible mistake. 555 00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:05,038 - What? What do you mean? 556 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,456 - Everything that I've been learning and vowing 557 00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,166 not to do again, I'm about to do it again. 558 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,834 What was I thinking? 559 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,378 Bobbie! 560 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,879 We have to stop me! 561 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,714 Text the DJ. - I don't have his number. 562 00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,132 That's an end-of-the-night move. 563 00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:17,300 - Signal him or something. 564 00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:18,385 Go. Go. - Oh, okay. 565 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:25,558 * * 566 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,898 [music cuts off] - Hello, Rutherford Falls. 567 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:34,067 [gasping and chatter] Nathan Rutherford here. 568 00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:36,653 I know you probably have a lot of questions for me, 569 00:20:36,695 --> 00:20:38,780 about me, and I'm here to answer them all, 570 00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:40,907 to lay my soul bare. 571 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:41,950 - What the hell? 572 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,451 - I'd like to offer a formal, 573 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,870 town-wide apology to each and every one of you. 574 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,914 Okay. Wait. Oh, hang on. 575 00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,083 [chuckles nervously] That's awfully bright. 576 00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:53,253 Okay, bit of a mix-up. Classic misunderstanding. 577 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:56,631 Because from here on out, every choice I make, I own. 578 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:59,050 Yeah. Okay, don't listen to him/me. 579 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,678 That's old Nathan. This is new Nathan. 580 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,263 But that was old Nathan. 581 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,890 This--this is new Nathan. 582 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,183 Nathan 2.0. Yeah. 583 00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:10,603 So now, we're at 3.0, because I am a Nathan 584 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:13,523 that knows that I shouldn't be centering myself in this way. 585 00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:15,984 I'm no longer the guy who just centers himself, 586 00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:17,777 sucking up all the air in the room. 587 00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:21,364 We got it, old Nathan. We're ahead of you here, so-- 588 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,616 Bobbie, why is that not off? 589 00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:25,660 - I'm used to apps. These are real buttons. 590 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:26,953 Okay, found it. 591 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:28,621 - Nathan. 592 00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:30,123 This is my birthday. 593 00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:31,541 - Yeah. Yeah. 594 00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:33,585 [winces] I know. 595 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,962 Terry, I'm so so-- 596 00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:38,423 - And I want to watch the rest of that video. 597 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:41,301 - Oh, no you don't. It's--hmm? 598 00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:43,887 Oh, he--you do? 599 00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:46,306 Okay. 600 00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:47,724 Happy birthday. 601 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:50,727 And now that I'm enlightened to these things, 602 00:21:50,769 --> 00:21:52,896 I'm excited to share them with others, 603 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:55,482 to be a guru, if you will. 604 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,567 - Nathan also ruined the cake, just FYI. 605 00:21:57,609 --> 00:21:59,486 - Yeah. That sounds appropriative. 606 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:00,987 Um, a sage. 607 00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:02,906 Yeah, that feels right. - [mouths] Sorry. 608 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:10,372 [upbeat '80s music] 609 00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:11,956 - It wasn't my intention, 610 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,583 but you know, intention doesn't matter. 611 00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:17,462 Impact does, and so, I'm just so sorry for the impact on you. 612 00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,923 Please say something. 613 00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:23,301 - Honestly, I've been stressed out all week, 614 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,136 and it was hilarious watching you drown. 615 00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:27,097 Really put things into perspective. 616 00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:29,224 I mean, my life, while hard, 617 00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:30,809 it's not that, 618 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,769 so I accept your apology. 619 00:22:32,811 --> 00:22:35,438 - Okay. Well, thank you. 620 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,316 And I don't know what kind of issues you're having right now, 621 00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:41,236 but one time when I was in a really tough spot, 622 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,071 you said to me, all this stuff, 623 00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:44,906 it's gonna work itself out. 624 00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:46,282 - Hmm. And did it? 625 00:22:46,324 --> 00:22:48,868 - [chuckles dryly] No. God, no. 626 00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:50,412 Things took a real dark turn. 627 00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:52,580 My whole life kind of blew up, actually. 628 00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:54,416 I'm still recovering from it, 629 00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:57,794 but I don't think that's gonna happen for you. 630 00:22:59,838 --> 00:23:00,797 Look around. 631 00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:06,886 * * 632 00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:10,181 - Here you go. - Thank you. 633 00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:12,600 Hey! You two clean up nice. 634 00:23:12,642 --> 00:23:14,185 - Thanks. - Aw. Listen, Reagan. 635 00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:16,062 I would love an assist with the guestbook. 636 00:23:16,104 --> 00:23:17,522 I just want everyone to snap a Polaroid, 637 00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:19,566 glue it to a page, write their favorite Terry memory. 638 00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:22,527 Do you think maybe you could wrangle some folks for me? 639 00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:23,862 - Nah, man. 640 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,864 Also, Terry, I'm gonna hire a curator, 641 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,866 and you're gonna pay for it. 642 00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:30,243 Happy birthday, though. This is all so nice. 643 00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:38,501 - Hey. Oh, wow. 644 00:23:38,543 --> 00:23:40,253 Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 645 00:23:40,295 --> 00:23:44,758 - You know, tonight-- I mean, what a great night. 646 00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:47,344 - One for the books. 647 00:23:47,385 --> 00:23:50,180 - I just wanted people to know that I've changed, 648 00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:51,473 but I guess it came off as like, 649 00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:54,351 "I'm not a villain. I'm one of the good guys." 650 00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:56,061 Well, maybe I'm not a good guy. Maybe I'm just... 651 00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:58,355 - Some asshole. - Some guy. 652 00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:00,899 Did you say "asshole"? - [chuckles] Yeah. 653 00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:03,485 I mean, like, all my trying to be more-- 654 00:24:03,526 --> 00:24:05,236 tracking my steps, 655 00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:07,822 chugging water to optimize productivity-- 656 00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:09,699 it's pointless. 657 00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:11,743 I'm not superhuman. [sighs] 658 00:24:11,785 --> 00:24:14,871 If we could just accept that we're a couple of assholes 659 00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:17,624 hurtling through space on this big, dumb rock 660 00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:20,543 crawling with other assholes, 661 00:24:20,585 --> 00:24:24,464 maybe we could actually feel good about ourselves. 662 00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:25,465 - I like that. 663 00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:30,929 Well, here's to being a couple of lovable assholes. 664 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,264 [upbeat music] 665 00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:34,724 * * 666 00:24:34,766 --> 00:24:38,228 - Mayor Chisenhall, just who I was hoping to see. 667 00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:40,605 - Sorry I'm late. I got caught up. 668 00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:42,023 - Listen, I'm having issues 669 00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:43,817 with the Main Street business leaders. 670 00:24:43,858 --> 00:24:45,985 - Angling at your own birthday party? 671 00:24:46,027 --> 00:24:47,320 Very on brand. 672 00:24:47,362 --> 00:24:49,447 - It's actually branding that I want to discuss. 673 00:24:49,489 --> 00:24:52,826 If everyone embraces "Ye Olde," we'll attract more visitors. 674 00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:54,703 - I'm gonna stop you there. 675 00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:56,371 As much as I, a Black woman, 676 00:24:56,413 --> 00:24:59,749 would love to hear more about your trip back to the 1800s, 677 00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:01,292 as of tomorrow, 678 00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:04,796 I'm being installed as the interim state comptroller. 679 00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:06,256 - Really? That's a big deal. 680 00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:07,090 - I know it. 681 00:25:07,132 --> 00:25:08,299 In the line of succession, 682 00:25:08,341 --> 00:25:10,885 it's five "Me Toos" away from governor. 683 00:25:10,927 --> 00:25:12,554 - Congratulations. That's... 684 00:25:15,557 --> 00:25:17,934 - There it is. He's doing the math. 685 00:25:17,976 --> 00:25:19,644 - The town will have to elect a new mayor-- 686 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:21,813 - I knew, within seconds, this would be about you. 687 00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:23,314 - This is a critical time, 688 00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:25,150 and the next mayor of Rutherford Falls 689 00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:28,153 will have major influence over the future of this town. 690 00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:30,071 It is of utmost importance 691 00:25:30,113 --> 00:25:32,866 that I secure a candidate who bolsters my plans. 692 00:25:32,907 --> 00:25:34,784 If I can't, everything I've fought for 693 00:25:34,826 --> 00:25:35,952 could be in jeopardy. 694 00:25:35,994 --> 00:25:37,245 - Ooh, are those quiche cups? 695 00:25:37,287 --> 00:25:38,997 - Yes, and they are incredible. 696 00:25:39,039 --> 00:25:40,999 Organic eggs, local cheeses, 697 00:25:41,041 --> 00:25:43,460 but I can't get into that right now. 698 00:25:43,501 --> 00:25:47,714 I need to go find the next mayor of Rutherford Falls. 699 00:25:47,756 --> 00:25:50,717 [lively music] 700 00:25:50,759 --> 00:25:57,891 * *