1 00:00:05,536 --> 00:00:07,606 Hey, this isn´t Disneyland. 2 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:10,308 MICHAEL: Sure it is, we just came through the back way, 3 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:12,711 this is Bowling Alley Land. 4 00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,323 Where´s Mickey? 5 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:17,315 Um, that´s Mickey right there. 6 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:19,348 He´s just going to put his make-up on. 7 00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:22,320 Oh, my God, we came on Space Alien Night? 8 00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,563 This place is filled with mutants and Trekkies. 9 00:00:24,555 --> 00:00:26,625 Don´t be redundant. 10 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,697 You can´t fool me, this is a bowling alley 11 00:00:28,699 --> 00:00:30,429 and I don´t know how to bowl. 12 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:32,361 Yeah, well, you didn´t know how to rollerblade either, 13 00:00:32,363 --> 00:00:34,773 but that didn´t stop you, did it, hop-along? 14 00:00:34,765 --> 00:00:37,405 Look, baby, me and you, we´re gonna watch the fight. 15 00:00:37,408 --> 00:00:39,808 We´ll just eat some popcorn and candy while your mother and them bowl. 16 00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:42,040 Oh, no, no, no, no. No? There´s no way? 17 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,772 We came here to bowl as a family. 18 00:00:43,774 --> 00:00:46,384 Now, we would all rather be with other people right now, 19 00:00:46,377 --> 00:00:48,417 but it´s family time so we´re stuck with one another. 20 00:00:48,419 --> 00:00:50,549 Fine, I´ll bowl between rounds. 21 00:00:53,724 --> 00:00:56,394 Hey, would you stop with the gang signs? 22 00:00:56,387 --> 00:00:58,487 Dad, it´s just a Vulcan salute. 23 00:00:58,489 --> 00:01:00,789 The worst this guy can do is shut down your computer. 24 00:01:00,791 --> 00:01:04,371 I´m gonna go check out the rest of the costumes. 25 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,795 You are the Romulan queen. What? 26 00:01:05,796 --> 00:01:07,596 I know you´re in disguise. 27 00:01:07,598 --> 00:01:10,398 I vow allegiance to you from now until pon farr. 28 00:01:10,401 --> 00:01:12,671 Daddy, help me. Hey, hey, what is the problem? 29 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,553 Hey, where did you get your ears? Those points are perfect. 30 00:01:15,546 --> 00:01:18,476 Hey, look, Captain Jerk, beam yourself out of here. 31 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:19,549 It´s admiral. 32 00:01:22,513 --> 00:01:25,363 Look, Jay, this is a freak show. We don´t belong here. 33 00:01:25,356 --> 00:01:28,156 Only an idiot would want to be here on this night. 34 00:01:28,159 --> 00:01:30,559 (CHUCKLING) I am so glad we came here. 35 00:01:30,561 --> 00:01:32,161 And on alien night, too. 36 00:01:32,163 --> 00:01:33,763 It doesn´t get any better than this. 37 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,328 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 38 00:01:46,877 --> 00:01:48,737 Excuse me, fella. 39 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,210 Did you see this, Jay? What? 40 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,593 The man looks me right in the eye and then he gives me the finger. 41 00:01:54,585 --> 00:01:56,445 Michael, will you please relax? 42 00:01:56,447 --> 00:01:59,217 He didn´t give you the finger, he gave you a finger. 43 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,350 Excuse me, sir. 44 00:02:01,352 --> 00:02:02,392 One second, man. 45 00:02:02,393 --> 00:02:03,453 No one second. 46 00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:04,664 (PHONE LINE DRONING) 47 00:02:04,655 --> 00:02:05,895 Hey, I wasn´t done with my call. 48 00:02:05,896 --> 00:02:07,556 Yes, you are. We´re paying customers. 49 00:02:07,558 --> 00:02:09,498 We don´t have time to listen to you make personal calls. 50 00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:11,500 Don´t appreciate being brushed aside 51 00:02:11,502 --> 00:02:14,412 by some lazy employee that don´t even stand up to greet us. 52 00:02:14,405 --> 00:02:16,665 You know what? And I´m not going to let you or anybody else 53 00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:18,637 disrespect me and my family. 54 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,409 As a matter of fact, we´re not bowling here, huh? How do you like that? 55 00:02:21,412 --> 00:02:23,342 We´re not gonna bowl here, 56 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,154 much to my disappointment, you know, ´cause I really wanted to bowl. 57 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,276 We´re going home. Come on, kids... 58 00:02:27,278 --> 00:02:28,578 Not gonna fly. Not gonna fly? 59 00:02:28,579 --> 00:02:30,179 No, not gonna fly. We need some shoes. 60 00:02:30,181 --> 00:02:32,521 JAY: Yeah, exactly. 61 00:02:32,523 --> 00:02:35,293 I´m sure that this young man has a very good excuse 62 00:02:35,286 --> 00:02:37,186 why he couldn´t wait on you, Michael. 63 00:02:37,188 --> 00:02:39,488 (SCOFFS) Good excuse, I´d like to hear this good excuse, go ahead. 64 00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:40,860 What´s the good excuse, pal? 65 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,931 My wheelchair broke. 66 00:02:42,933 --> 00:02:46,173 And that´s the only time I can get in touch with the manufacturer. 67 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,166 I´m sorry about the whole standing up thing, I didn´t know. 68 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:54,210 But look on the bright side, bet you probably got the best parking space in here. 69 00:02:54,205 --> 00:02:56,245 Kids, can you just... Mmm-mmm. 70 00:02:56,247 --> 00:02:58,447 Can you just please tell the man your shoe size 71 00:02:58,449 --> 00:02:59,879 so he can get on with his business? 72 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,410 Ten. Eight. 73 00:03:01,412 --> 00:03:02,882 I don´t need any shoes. 74 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,723 And why not? 75 00:03:04,715 --> 00:03:06,485 I sprained my ankle. 76 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:08,717 Boo-hoo-hoo. 77 00:03:10,761 --> 00:03:14,931 Sir, I would like to have a pair of eights, please. 78 00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:16,865 Eights? 79 00:03:16,867 --> 00:03:18,627 All right, nines, I´d like to have nines. 80 00:03:18,629 --> 00:03:20,799 Nine? Give me the nine and a half. 81 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,631 (SCOFFS) Big feet. 82 00:03:22,633 --> 00:03:24,383 Come on, let´s go. 83 00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:25,635 And what can I get you, sir? 84 00:03:25,636 --> 00:03:27,606 I need some 12s. 85 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:31,378 I´m sorry, 12s go quickly on alien night. That´s Han Solo´s size. 86 00:03:31,382 --> 00:03:33,912 But we have plenty of sevens. 87 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:38,394 Come on, I can´t wear size six with a four inch lift. 88 00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:39,919 You don´t have anything closer to a 12? 89 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,690 I´ll take a 13 or an eleven and a half or something. 90 00:03:42,693 --> 00:03:47,803 Uh... Well, oh, we got these. Wookies. 91 00:03:47,798 --> 00:03:49,958 That´s a clown shoe, you gotta be kidding. 92 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,660 I´m returning these 12s. 93 00:03:52,663 --> 00:03:53,803 You´re in luck. 94 00:03:57,408 --> 00:04:00,808 Oh, what? No, no, no. These things are sweaty and they stink. 95 00:04:00,811 --> 00:04:03,771 Yeah, I´ve been sweating a lot lately. 96 00:04:03,774 --> 00:04:05,954 I picked up something on a goat farm in Bali. 97 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,816 What, a goat? 98 00:04:08,779 --> 00:04:11,349 Enjoy your game, brother. 99 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,928 Look, those are 12s, right up there! 100 00:04:18,929 --> 00:04:21,889 No, no. Those are reserved for the VIBs. 101 00:04:21,892 --> 00:04:23,292 Who´s a VIB? 102 00:04:23,294 --> 00:04:24,844 The Very Important Bowlers. 103 00:04:24,835 --> 00:04:27,435 Okay, fine, I´ll take the 17s. 104 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,784 JAY: Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 105 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,606 (WHOOPING) Yes, a strike! 106 00:04:38,609 --> 00:04:40,709 (EXCLAIMING) 107 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:42,912 Yeah, Mom! 108 00:04:42,913 --> 00:04:44,763 Yes! Yes, come on, baby, your turn. 109 00:04:44,755 --> 00:04:45,955 (WHOOPING) 110 00:04:54,865 --> 00:04:56,695 Michael. Huh? 111 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,297 You´re not even trying. 112 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,798 Yeah, I am. You´re just beating me, that´s all. 113 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,030 You´re good. You´re good, baby, good. JAY: No, no. 114 00:05:02,032 --> 00:05:04,982 All you´re paying attention to is that stupid fight. 115 00:05:04,975 --> 00:05:07,005 It´s all you care about. 116 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,537 These are preliminaries. I don´t care about this stupid fight. 117 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,411 Who the hell turned off my TV? 118 00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,594 Hey, Ironside, who touched the television? 119 00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:16,916 I did. 120 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,990 Well, well, well, Stuart Tyler. Oh! 121 00:05:22,993 --> 00:05:27,963 Proctologist extraordinaire. Mr. Stink Finger. 122 00:05:27,958 --> 00:05:29,498 Look, Helen, it´s the Kyles. 123 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,500 You remember them from that dreadful evening 124 00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:33,832 we had to spend at Tokahana, thanks to you. 125 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,014 Oh, you mean my birthday? 126 00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:36,935 Whatever. 127 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,467 Hi, how are you? 128 00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:40,439 I´m fine, how are you? 129 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:44,071 Well, actually, I was home in bed with a 103 fever earlier, 130 00:05:44,074 --> 00:05:47,084 but Stuart here thought I ought to try to sweat it out. 131 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,448 Look, Kyle, it so happens that 132 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:54,121 organized games with rules are the linchpin of a strong family unit. 133 00:05:54,124 --> 00:05:56,764 That´s why I´d like to watch some organized boxing. 134 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:57,857 How about, no? 135 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,388 And how about, what´s the big deal? 136 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:01,730 Well, you may let your kids run amok, 137 00:06:01,732 --> 00:06:04,672 but I refuse to have my children exposed to that level of violence. 138 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,035 Oh, I´d like to see the fight, Dad. 139 00:06:06,036 --> 00:06:07,766 Will you shut your mouth? (WHIMPERS) 140 00:06:09,099 --> 00:06:13,769 Hey, Ironside, why is that he controls the TV? 141 00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,754 Oh, he´s a VIB, man. 142 00:06:15,746 --> 00:06:17,776 Well, how do I become a VIB? 143 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,778 Oh, man, it´s simple. All you got... 144 00:06:21,612 --> 00:06:22,852 (CRASHING) 145 00:06:25,856 --> 00:06:28,786 Are those two pairs of 12s you have? 146 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,419 My normal two pair, yes. 147 00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:32,691 And why do you need two pairs? 148 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,833 I like to freshen my feet every five frames. 149 00:06:34,825 --> 00:06:36,165 You have a problem with that? 150 00:06:36,166 --> 00:06:38,426 Yeah, I have a problem with everything about you. 151 00:06:38,429 --> 00:06:42,669 From your beady, little eyes to your sweaty, little feet. 152 00:06:42,673 --> 00:06:45,183 I was born with an extra sweat gland on the balls of my feet, 153 00:06:45,175 --> 00:06:47,105 but thank you for telling the world. 154 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,637 Why don´t you tell everyone that I have a dropped testi? 155 00:06:48,639 --> 00:06:50,439 He´s got a dropped testi! 156 00:06:52,643 --> 00:06:54,183 (GRUNTS) 157 00:06:54,184 --> 00:06:56,454 This is so embarrassing, they´re drawing attention to us. 158 00:06:56,447 --> 00:07:00,417 I know and all the mutants are watching us. 159 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,720 Why don´t you take a picture? It lasts longer. 160 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,134 Oh, my God. 161 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,428 How old do you think she is? 162 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,099 I asked her, she´s 15. 163 00:07:11,101 --> 00:07:12,601 You think I have a chance? 164 00:07:12,603 --> 00:07:14,033 You´ve got nothing to lose. 165 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,844 Well, you´ve got one thing but you haven´t lost it yet. 166 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,207 So I´m sure you´re not gonna lose it tonight. 167 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,010 Let me see your best shot. 168 00:07:24,214 --> 00:07:26,184 So, you come here often? 169 00:07:26,176 --> 00:07:27,776 No. 170 00:07:27,778 --> 00:07:29,978 (SIGHS) 171 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:33,180 Michael, are you going to be able to enjoy yourself with these people here? 172 00:07:33,183 --> 00:07:36,163 No, let´s get... No, no, no, no. Let me rephrase that. 173 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:40,686 Michael, you are going to be able to enjoy yourself with these people here, okay? 174 00:07:40,691 --> 00:07:42,691 I mean, I would if they could turn the fight back on, 175 00:07:42,693 --> 00:07:45,243 but I don´t want to sit here and look at the patches of hair on his head. 176 00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:48,835 I don´t want any trouble between you and this man tonight, okay? 177 00:07:48,839 --> 00:07:50,239 Trust me. 178 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,770 Hey, Tyler. What? 179 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:55,653 What do you say we make this interesting? 180 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,077 Are you swingers, too? 181 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:01,778 Oh! Oh, God! No. 182 00:08:02,953 --> 00:08:04,693 I´m talking about bowling. 183 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:07,155 Oh, bowling. Well, what do you have in mind? 184 00:08:07,157 --> 00:08:09,687 My family against your family, one game. 185 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,060 We win, you turn the fight back on. 186 00:08:12,062 --> 00:08:13,822 What´s in it for me? 187 00:08:13,824 --> 00:08:16,034 You win, I´ll pay for your bowling. 188 00:08:16,026 --> 00:08:19,066 And I´ll have that gland in your foot fixed. 189 00:08:19,069 --> 00:08:22,029 I´ve learned to live with it but you´ve got yourself a wager. 190 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:31,909 No, this is more than just a bowling game, okay? 191 00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:34,622 The Kyle family honor is on the line. 192 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,285 Michael, it is not that serious. 193 00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:38,846 Come on, Jay, what happened to my competitive wife? 194 00:08:38,849 --> 00:08:40,849 Um, I left all that behind when I left Wall Street, 195 00:08:40,851 --> 00:08:43,521 sooner or later you got to grow up and be an adult. 196 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,033 Good luck. Bite me. 197 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,727 Dad, you know I stink at bowling, don´t you? 198 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,999 No, you don´t stink, you just need a little incentive. 199 00:08:52,002 --> 00:08:54,062 I can break a hundred, can you? 200 00:08:54,064 --> 00:08:55,674 Let´s bowl. (LAUGHS) 201 00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:57,036 I´m hungry. 202 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,037 All right, Junior, you go get some snacks. 203 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,569 I don´t want you light-headed, 204 00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:02,771 especially you, you might start to rise. 205 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,545 Hey, Dad, can we get some snacks? 206 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,776 Sure, if you´ve got the money. 207 00:09:08,779 --> 00:09:12,049 Oh, for God´s sake, Stuart, give the child some change. 208 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:15,562 Okay, but it´s coming out of your liquor allowance. 209 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,603 So, we´re both here getting snacks, huh? 210 00:09:25,596 --> 00:09:27,336 That´s right. 211 00:09:27,337 --> 00:09:28,637 (EXHALES) 212 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,700 So, what do you think of alien night? 213 00:09:32,703 --> 00:09:35,683 Oh, my God, I love it! I´m like the biggest space geek ever. 214 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,346 I even have my own web page. It´s called keepontrekking.com. 215 00:09:38,348 --> 00:09:40,008 Really, well, you know, I´m... 216 00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:41,310 Jeez. 217 00:09:41,311 --> 00:09:44,081 Oh, excuse me, hi. 218 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,264 You just cut in front of this young lady here. 219 00:09:46,256 --> 00:09:49,016 And? Human. 220 00:09:49,019 --> 00:09:51,319 And your house has no honor. 221 00:09:51,321 --> 00:09:53,091 (SPEAKING KLINGONESE) 222 00:09:55,766 --> 00:09:57,726 Oh, you got it, man. 223 00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:00,899 Oh, my God, you speak Klingonese? 224 00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,701 (SPEAKING KLINGONESE) 225 00:10:13,243 --> 00:10:14,923 Hey, you saw me reaching for that. 226 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:17,045 I did no such thing. 227 00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:19,617 Yes, you did. That´s the ball I was going to pick and you took it. Give it back. 228 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,149 I will not. Let me tell you something, 229 00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:23,851 I´m not a mind reader, nor am I some poltroon 230 00:10:23,854 --> 00:10:25,834 who can be bullied by the likes of you. 231 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,396 You know what? Keep the stupid ball. 232 00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:29,197 I will. Fine. I´ll get another one. 233 00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:34,631 Two balls? Do you really need two balls? 234 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,414 It´s two more than he had before. 235 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:42,209 Oh, brother. 236 00:10:42,212 --> 00:10:45,722 If you must know, I need the heavier 15-pound ball for my first shot, 237 00:10:45,716 --> 00:10:48,646 and then I follow it up by the lighter 14-pound ball to pick up the spare, 238 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,078 in the rare event that I need to. 239 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,080 You know what? You annoy me. 240 00:10:52,082 --> 00:10:53,882 Let me tell you something, Kyle, you and I don´t hit it off. 241 00:10:53,884 --> 00:10:55,794 No. Yeah. 242 00:10:55,786 --> 00:10:58,056 We´re oil and vinegar, plaids and stripes, Ike and Tina. 243 00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,158 Well, let me tell you something, Tina. 244 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,189 No, I´m Ike. Tina. 245 00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:01,930 Ike. Ike. You´re Tina. 246 00:11:01,932 --> 00:11:03,092 Tina. 247 00:11:06,096 --> 00:11:07,796 Ike. 248 00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:11,970 Would you look at those two? I know. 249 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,812 They act like a couple of kids in a school yard. 250 00:11:14,805 --> 00:11:18,005 I wish a stranger in a van would pull up and offer Stu some candy. 251 00:11:19,109 --> 00:11:21,409 Hey, you want one? 252 00:11:21,411 --> 00:11:23,311 Uh, no, thank you. 253 00:11:23,313 --> 00:11:27,193 Oh, come on, this only looks like a purse. It´s actually a cooler. 254 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,017 It´s nice and cold. Go ahead. 255 00:11:29,019 --> 00:11:31,159 No, no, no, that´s okay, that´s okay. 256 00:11:31,161 --> 00:11:33,221 No, you go ahead, enjoy your self-indulge, 257 00:11:33,223 --> 00:11:36,173 and in fact, it might help your game, loosen you up, go ahead. 258 00:11:36,166 --> 00:11:41,196 My score won´t matter. Stu will carry our team to victory. 259 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,871 No, I don´t think so. 260 00:11:42,873 --> 00:11:45,013 See, my husband and I are both excellent bowlers. 261 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:48,035 In fact, they used to call me Jack ´em up Jay, okay. 262 00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:50,938 Oh, that´s lovely, Jack ´em. 263 00:11:50,941 --> 00:11:54,081 But I have to warn you that as a proctologist, 264 00:11:54,084 --> 00:11:57,824 Stu has three of the strongest fingers in bowling. 265 00:12:01,792 --> 00:12:03,022 (SIGHS) 266 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,026 When is it your turn, Daddy? 267 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:12,029 As soon as Mr. Tyler inserts his panty shield. 268 00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:18,967 Does your dad always act like that? 269 00:12:18,969 --> 00:12:21,839 No, no, he´s usually not this nice. 270 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,112 I feel sorry for you. 271 00:12:23,113 --> 00:12:25,453 Oh, that´s okay. I´m on Ritalin. 272 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,877 (BOTH LAUGHING) 273 00:12:28,879 --> 00:12:30,219 Could you say something else in Klingonese for me? 274 00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:31,450 Okay. 275 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,221 (SPEAKING KLINGONESE) 276 00:12:34,224 --> 00:12:35,464 What does that mean? 277 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:38,125 Permission to come aboard. 278 00:12:38,128 --> 00:12:40,088 Hey, girl, come over here. 279 00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:42,090 Yes, Father? 280 00:12:42,092 --> 00:12:43,462 I´ve got an idea, Lauren. 281 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,043 Lisa, Dad. 282 00:12:45,035 --> 00:12:47,235 Fine, look. 283 00:12:47,237 --> 00:12:49,267 The big-headed boy is obviously infatuated with you. 284 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,039 Now you use that to our advantage 285 00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:53,141 and I´ll turn the heat back on in your room. 286 00:13:02,152 --> 00:13:05,862 Oh, for God´s sake, Stu, throw the damn ball. 287 00:13:05,856 --> 00:13:07,956 Last call, Helen, bar is closed. 288 00:13:07,958 --> 00:13:09,818 Up yours. 289 00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:13,892 Good luck, Tina. 290 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,274 I´m Ike, damn it. 291 00:13:22,172 --> 00:13:24,132 Oops. It slipped out. 292 00:13:32,182 --> 00:13:33,912 (EXCLAIMING) 293 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,094 (LAUGHING) 294 00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:39,187 How about that? I´m your private dancer. 295 00:13:45,055 --> 00:13:48,055 BOY: She´s up, she´s up! 296 00:13:48,058 --> 00:13:51,928 I can´t concentrate. I wish you´d all just lay down and die. 297 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,202 The queen has spoken. 298 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,853 JAY: Yes, Claire. Yes, Claire! Strike! 299 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,045 (CHEERING) 300 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,125 (COUGHING) 301 00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:23,862 I´m sorry. 302 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,073 Baby, he´s just trying to psyche you out, relax. 303 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,597 Bowl your ball. Go ahead. Okay. Okay, baby. 304 00:14:34,044 --> 00:14:35,254 (WHOOPS) 305 00:14:35,245 --> 00:14:36,875 That´s a strike! 306 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,606 Yeah, huh? 307 00:14:38,608 --> 00:14:39,978 (SPUTTERS) 308 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,890 I think he´s selling us out for this girl. 309 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,462 Michael, he wouldn´t do that. 310 00:14:54,464 --> 00:14:57,204 That boy would sell you out for the cool side of the pillow. 311 00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,097 I think you´re wrong, Michael. 312 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,675 (MUMBLING) 313 00:15:07,677 --> 00:15:10,007 Come here, you. Get over here. 314 00:15:23,193 --> 00:15:25,563 All right, team, we´re only seven pins behind. 315 00:15:25,555 --> 00:15:27,595 And the main event starts in 10 minutes. 316 00:15:27,597 --> 00:15:30,027 I need you guys to bowl with all you can, all right? 317 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:33,000 I want you to bowl like Kyles. 318 00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:34,163 You with me? Yeah! 319 00:15:35,605 --> 00:15:37,165 She´s with me. 320 00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:40,007 Well, Kyle, the end game is about to begin 321 00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:42,670 and the Tylers are going to lick you like a big dog. 322 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,715 Start right there. 323 00:15:48,578 --> 00:15:51,118 You know something, Stu, no matter who wins, 324 00:15:51,121 --> 00:15:53,581 you´re always gonna be a hairy-backed, 325 00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:56,063 beady-eyed, pot-bellied loser. 326 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,726 Oh, you´re as wrong as an ugly man can be. 327 00:15:58,728 --> 00:16:02,088 My back isn´t hairy, I get it waxed. 328 00:16:02,092 --> 00:16:04,232 You know what, Mr. About-to-lose, 329 00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:07,474 I think I´ll let my fingers do the walking and my balls do the talking. 330 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,706 (LAUGHS) 331 00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:21,078 (WHOOPING) 332 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,081 Know what your balls are saying? 333 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,553 You´re nuts. 334 00:16:31,061 --> 00:16:34,161 Hey, hey, Junior, listen. I know you´ve been throwing the game 335 00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:36,104 over Molly Ringworm over there, okay? 336 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:39,166 But this is the last pin, so it´s all up to you. 337 00:16:41,731 --> 00:16:43,501 I´ll do my best. 338 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,683 No, no, no. Your best is not good enough, we need the pin. 339 00:16:46,676 --> 00:16:50,076 Dad, this is as close as I´ve ever been. 340 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,040 Can´t you see she´s playing with you? 341 00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:54,542 That´s what I´m hoping for. 342 00:16:54,544 --> 00:16:57,054 Now, if you´ll excuse me, I have a game to throw. 343 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,726 (GROANS) 344 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,127 Bad, Junior. 345 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,142 Hey, Romeo. 346 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,765 Before you throw that last ball I want you to know this. 347 00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:22,407 Family, that´s forever. Girls like that, they´re a dime a dozen. 348 00:17:22,412 --> 00:17:25,722 Where? Bangkok. 349 00:17:25,715 --> 00:17:29,245 Point is, family has to come before your needs. 350 00:17:31,121 --> 00:17:33,351 What would you do if you were me? 351 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,433 I´d win the game and then I´d buy a ticket to Bangkok. 352 00:17:36,426 --> 00:17:38,526 (SIGHS) Take 50 cents and go crazy. 353 00:17:38,528 --> 00:17:40,558 (SCOFFS) 354 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,330 Come on. Come on, Junior, you can do it. 355 00:17:42,332 --> 00:17:45,372 Just one pin, that´s all we need, is one pin. 356 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,435 Wait! 357 00:17:49,639 --> 00:17:53,539 I love you, Junior. I´ll always believe in you. 358 00:18:02,212 --> 00:18:03,552 (IN SINGSONG VOICE) Family. 359 00:18:03,553 --> 00:18:05,293 (IN SINGSONG VOICE) Family. 360 00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:08,617 Family. 361 00:18:08,618 --> 00:18:10,358 Family. 362 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:11,420 (SIGHS) 363 00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:12,461 Her. 364 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,670 Yes! 365 00:18:21,671 --> 00:18:23,231 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 366 00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:25,684 Put that TV back on! 367 00:18:27,837 --> 00:18:29,377 (LAUGHING) 368 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,681 Hey, that was really sweet of you to tell your brother you love him. 369 00:18:34,684 --> 00:18:37,454 I just wanted to get home and watch Hey Arnold! 370 00:18:39,489 --> 00:18:42,549 It was amazing. I never saw anyone stick up for their family like that. 371 00:18:42,552 --> 00:18:43,722 Do you actually like them? 372 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,663 Yeah. 373 00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:48,125 So what do you think? Would you like to go out sometime? 374 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,727 Call me in six years. What time? 375 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,399 9:00. Okay. 376 00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:55,513 Yes! 377 00:18:55,505 --> 00:18:57,705 COMMENTATOR ON TV: What an upset! 378 00:18:57,707 --> 00:19:00,537 Can you believe this fight ended in a first round knockout? 379 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:04,410 The crowd absolutely stunned by this amazing turn of events. 380 00:19:04,414 --> 00:19:06,424 What a shame. 381 00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:08,616 Looks like you didn´t get to see your stupid fight after all. 382 00:19:08,618 --> 00:19:10,518 Okay, you know what, Tyler, I´m tired of this. 383 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,450 Oh, yeah? What do you have in mind, bean head, huh? 384 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,882 Wanna go a little one-on-one, huh? Watch out for that one. 385 00:19:14,884 --> 00:19:17,634 I got news for you, you want to find out who´s the boss, huh? 386 00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:20,887 I´ll give you a little hint, it´s not Tony Danza, my friend. 387 00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:23,630 Look, I don´t want to fight you, Tyler, okay? 388 00:19:23,633 --> 00:19:25,343 Instead, I´ll do this. 389 00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:27,465 I am absolutely offended that you would say 390 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:30,467 William Shatner is this tall with a bad toupee. 391 00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:31,840 (ALL GASPING) 392 00:19:31,841 --> 00:19:33,901 How dare you? It´s an insult. 393 00:19:35,845 --> 00:19:37,905 (STAMMERING) You don´t have to get mad at me. 394 00:19:37,907 --> 00:19:39,647 Come on, you and I... You and I... 395 00:19:39,649 --> 00:19:40,909 Bye, Tina. 396 00:19:40,910 --> 00:19:42,580 Bye, Ike. 397 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,612 (STAMMERING) No, wait, hang on! 398 00:19:44,614 --> 00:19:46,494 Shatner doesn´t wear a toupee, and if he does, it´s a good one. 399 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:49,756 Let´s be honest. You know, I don´t make any jokes... 400 00:19:51,761 --> 00:19:53,561 Excuse me, hey, hey. 401 00:19:53,563 --> 00:19:54,623 JAY: Oh, my! 402 00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:55,874 Hey, I wasn´t done yet. 403 00:19:55,865 --> 00:19:58,795 Yeah, we´re paying customers, okay? 404 00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:01,528 (LAUGHS) I can´t... I got a block. 405 00:20:01,531 --> 00:20:03,801 We´re paying customers, okay? 406 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:11,578 What is wrong? Oh, God! Okay. 407 00:20:11,581 --> 00:20:13,581 Hey, I wasn´t done. Yes, you are.