1
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,170
Hello, Mother.

2
00:00:05,350 --> 00:00:09,990
I love your new hairstyle. I mean,
you're already a beautiful woman, but it

3
00:00:09,990 --> 00:00:11,590
really brings out the brown in your
eyes.

4
00:00:12,030 --> 00:00:13,030
Thank you.

5
00:00:13,090 --> 00:00:15,030
And it brings out the brown in your
nose.

6
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:17,530
What do you want?

7
00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:21,450
All right. Well, you know how being the
last one in my group of friends whose

8
00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:23,910
parents aren't divorced makes me totally
boring?

9
00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,310
Your father and I have already
apologized for that.

10
00:00:26,930 --> 00:00:29,930
Well, I figure I'd be so much cooler if
I had a belly button ring.

11
00:00:31,170 --> 00:00:32,170
Uh... No.

12
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,220
But, Mom, you have no idea what it's
like to be a teenager these days.

13
00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:39,720
It's really, really hard to know who you
are in this world. That's all I'm

14
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,440
trying to do, figure out who I am and
who I'm going to be.

15
00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:43,660
Oh, sweetie.

16
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,400
I'm sorry, but I don't know if we have
the space.

17
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:48,859
For what?

18
00:00:48,860 --> 00:00:51,480
For that big load of crap you just
wheeled in.

19
00:00:53,340 --> 00:00:54,880
Dad, Mom's being totally unfair.

20
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:56,380
Yeah, she does that.

21
00:00:57,940 --> 00:00:59,160
Daddy. Hey.

22
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:04,019
You need to either run slower or get
taller.

23
00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:09,520
Beat it, squirt, and put some clothes
on. Shut up, stupid.

24
00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:11,940
Mama says time to close off.

25
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,080
But remember, the underwear stays on
till after dinner.

26
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,080
Same rules as when we were dating.

27
00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:21,940
Hey, Dad, can I have a belly button
ring?

28
00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:24,860
Judy, can she have a belly button ring?
Can't you think for yourself?

29
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,660
Judy, can I think for myself?

30
00:01:28,940 --> 00:01:29,940
Nope. Sorry.

31
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:31,820
It's totally bad parenting.

32
00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:34,260
Good parents would sit down and discuss
it with me.

33
00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:38,180
Well, honey, me and your mom are always
looking for ways to be better parents.

34
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,360
Let's discuss it.

35
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,240
Now, Lauren, why do you think you should
have a belly button ring?

36
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:45,720
Well, I think... No!

37
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:48,940
Sorry.

38
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,680
Sorry, just kidding. Go ahead.

39
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,480
All right, well, I think... No!

40
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,480
You won't get this for about 20 years,
but trust me, this is fun.

41
00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:01,730
Now, Bill, go ahead, Lorne.

42
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:04,610
All right, well, I think... No!

43
00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:08,350
All right, that's fun.

44
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:10,370
You guys suck.

45
00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:15,390
Hey, go to your room. Fine. You know,
she has a TV, VCR, and stereo in her

46
00:02:15,590 --> 00:02:16,590
Hold on.

47
00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:17,890
Go to my room.

48
00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:19,730
Oh, man.

49
00:02:19,830 --> 00:02:23,210
That's right, a 12 -inch TV with no
cable. Try and have fun in there.

50
00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:29,820
Judy, I felt toilets.

51
00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:33,780
Let's save 30 seconds a day and assume
it sucks till further notice.

52
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:36,300
How about you?

53
00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:40,460
Oh, on my lunch hour, I had a little
Sutton Dunn that I thought you might

54
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,220
It's my hair, you idiot.

55
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,080
I was on my way up to it. Yeah, right.

56
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:48,960
Look, Mike.

57
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,319
What's this?

58
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,720
Oh, it's a permission slip for your son.
His computer club is going on a field

59
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,020
trip. Where are they going, Radio Shack?

60
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,400
about him. He's been acting a little
strange since he started high school.

61
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,540
Well, when you have three kids, one of
them's bound to be a little strange.

62
00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:08,240
He's lucky we're not lions.

63
00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:09,460
We'd have eaten him.

64
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,120
Well, I think you should talk to him.
Oh, don't make me talk to him. I love

65
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,240
I just don't understand him.

66
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,280
Is he using big words again?

67
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:17,520
Yeah.

68
00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:19,880
But he did apologize for patronizing me.

69
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,580
Whatever the hell that means.

70
00:03:22,940 --> 00:03:27,120
Was your neck still bothering you? Oh,
just a little. Well, it's been 13 years.

71
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,840
I don't know why you don't go to the
doctor.

72
00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:31,350
Why get fancy? I'm happy looking
straight ahead.

73
00:03:32,390 --> 00:03:35,830
Wait a minute. You're cooking with real
cheese.

74
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,450
Your sister's coming over, isn't she?
She wants us to meet her new boyfriend,

75
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:44,210
Paul, and be nice to Linda. Why should
I? Your sister treats me like an idiot.

76
00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:48,290
You want to win her respect? Try not
doing that impression of her ovaries

77
00:03:48,290 --> 00:03:49,290
up.

78
00:03:49,390 --> 00:03:50,730
I don't want to win it that much.

79
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:55,530
Look, she really likes this guy, and I'm
trying to show them a happy couple, and

80
00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:56,530
that's us.

81
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,590
So shut your hole and go change your
shirt.

82
00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:01,870
Why should I? You owe me. Oh, yeah?

83
00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:03,210
Well, you owe me.

84
00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:05,090
You calling me out?

85
00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:07,030
Maybe.

86
00:04:07,670 --> 00:04:08,670
What you got?

87
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:11,930
You owe me because I raked the leaves
last week.

88
00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:14,330
Oh, jeez, make it a challenge, will ya?

89
00:04:14,550 --> 00:04:17,610
You owe me from April 22nd, 1997.

90
00:04:18,370 --> 00:04:22,830
I let you watch the end of the hockey
game during sex on our anniversary.

91
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:27,420
Hey, that doesn't count. It was a
playoff game. We were both watching it.

92
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:31,780
Yeah, but you didn't have someone behind
you who thought it was funny to keep

93
00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:32,880
yelling, down in front!

94
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,340
That still gets me.

95
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:54,680
Get up, Dad.

96
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,480
You're a kid. Your room shouldn't be
this clean.

97
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,660
The Bubble Boy had a messier room.

98
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,300
Just pick it up.

99
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,360
So what are you doing?

100
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:09,720
Playing the computer game.

101
00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:14,880
It's called Existence. You slowly build
a civilization by acquiring inventions,

102
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,880
solving national problems, building an
economy.

103
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,540
Got anything to blow stuff up?

104
00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,160
Cool, cool. How do you play?

105
00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:26,670
Well... Well, these two keys are for
steering, and that key controls the

106
00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:27,670
detonation sequence.

107
00:05:29,470 --> 00:05:30,870
Makes things go kaboom.

108
00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:32,470
So,

109
00:05:32,950 --> 00:05:34,130
how's everything else going?

110
00:05:34,590 --> 00:05:35,590
All right.

111
00:05:35,870 --> 00:05:38,770
Brian, now that you're entering high
school, your mom and I want you to know

112
00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:42,270
that if you need someone to talk to, you
can always die, die, die!

113
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,330
Anyway, grades still up?

114
00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:49,390
Yep. You gonna blow up the school?

115
00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:53,100
Nope. And if you do, I'm the only one
who paid attention to you, right?

116
00:05:53,460 --> 00:05:54,960
Right. Beautiful. See you at graduation.

117
00:05:56,580 --> 00:06:00,020
Well, actually, there is one thing.

118
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,920
It's not a math question, is it? Because
we'd have to ask your mother.

119
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,840
It's more of a woman thing.

120
00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:06,420
Ah.

121
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,280
You don't want to be one, do you? No.

122
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:13,360
I like one.

123
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,060
Really? Did a girl finally join the math
club?

124
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:18,640
No.

125
00:06:19,490 --> 00:06:21,810
Trust me, this girl would never join the
math club.

126
00:06:22,830 --> 00:06:25,030
She's a bad girl, isn't she?

127
00:06:26,150 --> 00:06:28,890
Yeah, sort of. Us Millers like them bad.

128
00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,390
So what's your plan of action?

129
00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:35,750
Well, I've just been helping her with
her schoolwork and carrying her books,

130
00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:36,810
listening to her problems.

131
00:06:37,010 --> 00:06:38,670
Well, that's all well and good, son.

132
00:06:39,290 --> 00:06:41,590
If you want to become a member of the
Never Touch Your Boobie tribe.

133
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,220
Close the door, son. Help is here.

134
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,860
Now, I'm going to tell you something you
need to know about women.

135
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:56,600
High school girls like jerks.

136
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,700
Why? Why do birds fly?

137
00:06:58,920 --> 00:06:59,920
Why is the sky blue?

138
00:06:59,980 --> 00:07:01,620
Who knows the answers to these
questions?

139
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,640
Well, there's actually very simple
answers to those questions.

140
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:08,860
You want to be smart or you want to
touch a boobie?

141
00:07:11,020 --> 00:07:12,020
Come on, partner.

142
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:14,960
You've got to make them think you're a
little dangerous.

143
00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:20,130
When I was in high school, your mom was
the hottest chick in our class.

144
00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:21,770
She was way out of my league.

145
00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:26,310
Then one day, I got caught smoking and
throwing a cherry bomb down the toilet.

146
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:31,850
That's when she looked at me with love
in her eyes and thought, this guy's

147
00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:33,570
really gonna piss off my dad.

148
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:39,350
Is that why Grandpa always refers to you
as Mom's first husband?

149
00:07:40,170 --> 00:07:41,170
Yes, it is.

150
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:47,000
Dinner will be ready in five minutes.
Oh, thank you. So, Linda tells me that

151
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,200
two have been married for 15 years.

152
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,600
Yep, and I can honestly say it's still
not worth half my stuff to get rid of

153
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,600
her. Now, that's why.

154
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,780
So, Paul, Linda tells us you're a
psychiatrist.

155
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,700
Actually, I'm a psychologist. If I want
to be a psychiatrist, I'd have to go

156
00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:05,360
through medical school and residency and
all that. Yeah, I know how you feel,

157
00:08:05,460 --> 00:08:08,400
buddy. I was going to take the
management course at work, but it's like

158
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,980
Saturdays. Uh, Paul... is also a
published author.

159
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,760
Go on, tell them about your article.
It's just a little thing I wrote for a

160
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,280
journal about ways to help you release
your inner negativity.

161
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:21,800
And what do you do?

162
00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:23,060
I sell toilets.

163
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,200
They also help you release inner
negativity.

164
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:30,740
Sweetie, it's time to get ready for bed.

165
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,299
I want to show Daddy my drawing.

166
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:33,700
Ah, what is it?

167
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,179
Daddy on the potty.

168
00:08:37,179 --> 00:08:38,799
That's nice, sweetie. Go on up.

169
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:40,020
Come on.

170
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,020
Why can't I stay down here?

171
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,500
Well, because I like you too much,
honey.

172
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:50,420
This is a very nice drawing, but it
couldn't be Bill because this man is

173
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:51,420
reading.

174
00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:55,440
It's nice when your loved ones do sweet
things for you.

175
00:08:56,260 --> 00:09:00,240
But hey, what am I saying, Linda? Your
cats probably do this for you all the

176
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,240
time.

177
00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:03,440
Bill, behave yourself.

178
00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:05,060
Actually, I think Linda started it.

179
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:08,820
Well, it was nice meeting you, buddy.

180
00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:15,640
I actually have a very honest
relationship.

181
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,820
In fact, that's what my article was
about.

182
00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:22,880
Yeah. Uh, you know, Paul thinks that the
secret to a truly fulfilling

183
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:26,160
relationship is being totally honest
with each other at all times. Mm -hmm.

184
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,800
Oh, hey, you guys, we should play truth
be told.

185
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,119
What's that?

186
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,040
Well, it's where you tell your partner
something that you've always wanted to

187
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,900
say with the understanding that there is
a safety zone, okay? Which means they

188
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:40,920
can't get angry at you.

189
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,220
I got another game. It's called I'd Like
to Have Sex Again Someday.

190
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:48,260
Come on, this could be fun. You two seem
like you have a really good marriage.

191
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:51,020
We do have a good marriage. Well, let's
give it a try. Just a fun little

192
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:53,780
exercise. That's why I got married, so I
don't have to exercise.

193
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:55,800
Linda, I'll go first.

194
00:09:58,540 --> 00:10:04,840
Truth be told, Linda, I don't like that
dress you're wearing.

195
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:07,520
Really? Enjoy the ride home, buddy.

196
00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:15,470
While I think you are a beautiful woman,
that dress doesn't show you in the best

197
00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:17,750
light. You know what else doesn't show
her in the best light?

198
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,270
Light.

199
00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:22,930
Okay, uh, no, I respect that.

200
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:27,690
And, uh, truth be told, um, I really
hate the music you play in your car.

201
00:10:28,950 --> 00:10:30,890
Not everybody likes ragtime.

202
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:38,130
So, I respect that we have different
musical tastes, and I won't play it

203
00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:39,130
anymore. Okay.

204
00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:43,260
Now, you see, that wasn't so hard. Why
don't you give it a try?

205
00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:44,740
Oh, all right.

206
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,760
Come on, Judy, go for it, go for it.

207
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:48,540
Okay.

208
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:53,140
Uh, truth be told, Bill, I don't like
your shirt.

209
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:54,860
I know, that's why I wear it.

210
00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,740
So, short term, Bill?

211
00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:03,580
I don't think this is a good idea. Come
on, Bill, do it for me.

212
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:05,680
You sure about this?

213
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:06,980
Bring it on, baby.

214
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,720
All right, truth be told, Judy.

215
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:11,750
I might have lied before.

216
00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:14,110
I'm not that crazy about your haircut.

217
00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:17,350
Really? Unless you really like it, in
which case I'll just shut up.

218
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:21,490
No, no, I wasn't sure I liked it myself.
I was just trying something new.

219
00:11:22,150 --> 00:11:23,150
Well, that was easy.

220
00:11:23,410 --> 00:11:24,550
Look, no bruises.

221
00:11:25,730 --> 00:11:29,830
Yeah, you see, most people want to hear
the truth. You say it and you forget

222
00:11:29,830 --> 00:11:30,609
about it.

223
00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:32,050
Okay, well, I think dinner's ready.

224
00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:34,930
Actually, another thing just popped into
my head.

225
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:37,830
What's that, dear?

226
00:11:38,510 --> 00:11:41,810
Well, sometimes you can be a little
bossy.

227
00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:44,030
I'm done. Let's eat.

228
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:48,890
Bossy? No, I didn't mean bossy. I meant
demanding.

229
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:51,430
Or nice.

230
00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:56,730
Well, is that everything? Because you
might as well get everything out.

231
00:11:57,190 --> 00:11:59,810
Judy, I love you more than anything in
this world.

232
00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:04,490
I love you so much, I don't even care
that you overcooked chicken.

233
00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:08,270
Oh, that you sing all the time, even
though you can't carry a tune.

234
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,190
Sometimes when I'm watching TV, you just
won't stop talking.

235
00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:17,490
Oh, so it isn't enough that I have a
job. I've got to be a gourmet cook, sing

236
00:12:17,490 --> 00:12:20,370
like an angel, keep quiet during
wrestling.

237
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,810
Judy remembers safety, though. Shut up!

238
00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:30,170
Judy, it's not like I enjoy... Oh, my
God.

239
00:12:30,470 --> 00:12:32,970
What? The pain in my neck's gone.

240
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:37,220
Oh, so what are you saying? This whole
time I've literally been the pain in

241
00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:40,280
neck. I didn't say that. And that's
another thing that's annoying. You

242
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,820
put words into my mouth. Oh, my God.

243
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,620
My neck feels great.

244
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,860
Oh, look. I got shoulders.

245
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:53,259
What's that?

246
00:12:53,260 --> 00:12:55,400
It's just a list of things for the next
time we play.

247
00:12:57,780 --> 00:12:59,520
You misspelled nitpicky.

248
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,620
That feels incredible.

249
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,560
I'm going to sleep like a log tonight.

250
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,220
Good night, David. Night.

251
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:19,900
What the hell are you doing?

252
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,900
Oh, I just thought if living with me was
so bad, maybe you'd rather not live at

253
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:26,220
all. This whole dinner thing was your
idea.

254
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,440
I only played that truth be told game to
make you happy.

255
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,460
But you didn't have to like it so much.

256
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,740
I didn't have to play it at all, but you
wanted me to, so I did.

257
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:38,500
Do you really think it's right to get
mad at me for something you asked me to

258
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,940
do? You're right. I'm sorry.

259
00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:52,640
You gonna do this all night?

260
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000
Truth be told.

261
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,120
everything's fine.

262
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,160
Especially you.

263
00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:22,840
You are so fine.

264
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,540
What? That's right, I'm talking to you,
my lovely lady.

265
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:34,320
Have you been drinking?

266
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,040
Only if you mean drinking in your
loveliness.

267
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,000
I'd like you to say hello to a friend of
mine.

268
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:53,430
Nothing. I just wanted to show you how
sorry I was for what I said yesterday.

269
00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:55,610
You're perfect just the way you are.
Yeah, right.

270
00:14:55,890 --> 00:14:56,890
Oh, really?

271
00:14:57,270 --> 00:15:00,490
I only said those things because I was
mad at you for making me play that game.

272
00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:04,810
So you were lying when you said those
things about my hair and my singing and

273
00:15:04,810 --> 00:15:05,810
cooking? Yes.

274
00:15:06,910 --> 00:15:07,910
What's wrong?

275
00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:11,650
That pain in your neck is bothering you
because you're lying again.

276
00:15:11,950 --> 00:15:12,950
No.

277
00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:25,110
Thank you.

278
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:26,950
That was worth calling.

279
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,070
Brian's school wants to see us right
away.

280
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:31,329
You're kidding.

281
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:32,930
Get dressed. I'll drive.

282
00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:35,850
Oh, good, good, because you're a much
better driver than I am.

283
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:37,650
Honey,

284
00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:41,870
are you all right?

285
00:15:42,230 --> 00:15:43,370
Yeah, I'm fine.

286
00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:46,810
Wow, haven't been in this office in 20
years.

287
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:48,790
How you doing, Miss Bowden?

288
00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:52,670
I'm going to take a wild leap and assume
it's still Miss Bowden.

289
00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:55,269
Yes, it is, Mr.

290
00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:59,270
Miller. I'm going to take absolutely no
leap and assume it's not Dr.

291
00:15:59,630 --> 00:16:00,630
Miller.

292
00:16:01,770 --> 00:16:02,770
What happened?

293
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,870
I'm afraid we caught Brian smoking.

294
00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,970
Smoking? That doesn't seem like Brian.

295
00:16:08,290 --> 00:16:10,470
Oh, I don't know, Judy. He is his old
man's son.

296
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,430
So what'd you do? Bust a little
troublemaker in the bathroom?

297
00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:16,230
No, he threw up and passed out in the
hallway.

298
00:16:18,050 --> 00:16:20,590
In front of a girl we think he was
trying to impress.

299
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:25,750
Brian, this does not seem like you.
Where would you get an idea that smoking

300
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:29,110
would impress a girl? Who cares where he
got the idea?

301
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:37,410
No, the kid made a mistake which he
thought up on his own, and I will

302
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:38,410
punish him.

303
00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:42,590
I'm just asking him, why were you
smoking?

304
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:45,970
I didn't want to become a member of the
Never Touch a Booby Trial.

305
00:16:47,650 --> 00:16:48,650
What?

306
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:54,920
You told your son to smoke.

307
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,400
I am so sorry about this. All the kid
does is homework.

308
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,480
I just thought he should loosen up a
little, be a teenager, have some fun.

309
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,780
By having a smoke and touching a boob?

310
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:07,960
You should be ashamed of yourself.

311
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,420
But then again, you were nothing but
trouble when you were a student, so why

312
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:13,480
should I expect anything else of you as
a parent?

313
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,940
Hey. Honey, wait for us in the car.

314
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,680
Gotcha. Not you, you stay.

315
00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:20,700
Fine.

316
00:17:21,069 --> 00:17:22,150
He was the one smoking.

317
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:26,569
Listen, lady, never talk to my husband
in front of my son like that again.

318
00:17:26,950 --> 00:17:33,850
And he is not a bad father. He is just a
stupid, stupid man doing the best job

319
00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:34,850
he can.

320
00:17:36,370 --> 00:17:39,210
Honey, are you defending me? Because it
sounds like it could go either way.

321
00:17:39,970 --> 00:17:41,410
I'm working with what I got.

322
00:17:45,990 --> 00:17:47,590
You told him to smoke?

323
00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:50,430
I was just trying to help him get a girl
the way I got you.

324
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:52,220
You didn't get me by smoking.

325
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,160
Well, you know, by acting like a jerk.

326
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,620
You didn't get me by acting like a jerk
either.

327
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,760
I dated you because you were sensitive,
you big idiot.

328
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,960
I was not sensitive.

329
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:08,060
Oh, all right. The day my dog died, you
skipped that cheap trick concert to talk

330
00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:09,400
to me because you could tell I was down.

331
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,100
That's when I thought, yeah, you know,
he's a little bit of a jerk.

332
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:13,980
But he's kind of a nice guy, too.

333
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,540
It's the first time you ever noticed me.

334
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,360
No, actually, the first time I noticed
you...

335
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:25,360
You were standing right over there,
wearing a tight red Aerosmith T -shirt,

336
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,820
jeans with a back right pocket ripped
off.

337
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:33,740
Some guy made you laugh, and I thought,
if I could make her laugh like that,

338
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,780
life wouldn't be so bad.

339
00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:37,780
Wow.

340
00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:41,640
Just when I think you're an idiot, you
say something so sweet.

341
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:45,460
Plus, you weren't wearing a bra that
day, so the ladies were out to play.

342
00:18:47,590 --> 00:18:49,770
I bet you could still fit in that
Aerosmith T -shirt.

343
00:18:50,030 --> 00:18:52,930
Ah, we're back to lying to each other.

344
00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:57,510
Ah, you bet. This whole truth thing's
killing us. I think if we really care

345
00:18:57,510 --> 00:19:00,570
about each other, we can build up a nice
wall of lies that'll carry us through

346
00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:01,710
to our 50th anniversary.

347
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,210
I'm with you.

348
00:19:05,550 --> 00:19:07,050
So I'm not bossy?

349
00:19:07,410 --> 00:19:08,750
Not unless you say so.

350
00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:10,550
And you like my hair?

351
00:19:10,790 --> 00:19:12,290
It makes you look ten years younger.

352
00:19:12,910 --> 00:19:14,230
What kind of lover am I?

353
00:19:14,990 --> 00:19:16,530
Fantastic every time.

354
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:22,320
We were just talking.

355
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,520
Wait a minute. We're married. That's
right. We were making out.

356
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,120
Take it outside.

357
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:33,680
Yes, ma 'am. Oh, just a second. I forgot
something in your office.

358
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:41,300
I know that my husband made a big
mistake, but he really is such a good

359
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:42,940
Can't you see?

360
00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:04,810
Wouldn't happen any other way.