1 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,008 - What do I get out of it? - Emma, you don't get 2 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,924 to ask that question at 13 years of age. 3 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,570 You have duties, live with it. 4 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,882 Why do I have to go before and after school? 5 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,371 Yeah, why does she have to go before and after? 6 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,524 Because Mom is 79 and not quite the full shilling anymore. 7 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,045 Whoops! Calculator in the corn flakes. 8 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:00,685 God, just bring her her bloody paper 9 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,888 and milk and stop moaning about it, will ya? 10 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,645 Once I get some new stock I'll be fine. 11 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,610 - The problem's just cash flow. - Just get it from the bank. 12 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:08,602 They're not lending. 13 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,843 You can't all go on borrowing money from me indefinitely. 14 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,162 Mmm, from us indefinitely. 15 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,488 From me indefinitely. 16 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,442 - Mom! - What? 17 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,447 I don't have time to make you gourmet lunches, Emma. 18 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,489 This is embarrassing. 19 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,675 Just take a bite of the banana 20 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:26,881 and then a bite of the bread. 21 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,530 That's what we used to have. 22 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,411 - You tell her. - Last time, I promise. 23 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,891 And what happens when you can't pay me back? 24 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,486 I'll pay you back. 25 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,211 I'll have to give you a check. 26 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,847 - What? - She's old and weird 27 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,129 and only ever wants to argue about things. 28 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:45,566 Can't argue with that. 29 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,842 Thanks, sis, you're a lifesaver. 30 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,169 Your mom is well able to look after herself. 31 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,483 She could come and live with us instead. 32 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,966 Do as your mother tells you. 33 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,645 No. 34 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,046 Thank you, dear. 35 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,323 You're welcome. 36 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,085 Mom! 37 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:40,760 Mom! 38 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,408 Come on, Mom, will you help? 39 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,364 Ask her where's my birth cert. 40 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,689 What's he looking for now? 41 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,686 - Birth cert. - Where did you put it? 42 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,489 I mean it's not like they don't know who I am. 43 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,728 I've been going down there for nearly twenty years. 44 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,364 I collect once a week. 45 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,921 I sign on once a month. 46 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,566 I mean, they have my signature. 47 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,484 They have my picture! 48 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,608 And what the hell is an annual review? 49 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,570 They never used to have annual reviews. 50 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,081 How can you live in this chaos, Mom? 51 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,006 Tell him to take his time and he'll find it. 52 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,766 I mean, who uses a birth cert for anything anymore anyway? 53 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,445 I'm gonna be late. 54 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,927 They're gonna make me do a whole new application. 55 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,731 Then they're going to start trying to train me to do things. 56 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,562 Come on, where did you put it? 57 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:40,607 - You put everything-- - He's not used to being up this early. 58 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,364 Come on, Mom, will you help? 59 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,204 I'm gonna lose me welfare! 60 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,524 Did you put it in a drawer? 61 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,330 Will you help me?! 62 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:51,971 Mom! 63 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,286 Des? 64 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,602 - No job? - Don't tell Mom. 65 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:36,966 Don't mind her. 66 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,168 If she'd listened to us and sold the house during the boom 67 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,243 we'd all be in the south of France by now. 68 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,886 - Hiya. - Not you too? 69 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,088 They cut me down to two days at the groomers. 70 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:49,727 Don't tell Mom. 71 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,689 Here, go on, will ya? 72 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,569 - Huh? - You're next. 73 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,250 Relax, I'm talking here. 74 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,562 Just get a move on, ya bleedin' culchie. 75 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,964 I'm not a culchie. 76 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,570 Nan? 77 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,330 Nan? 78 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,361 Nan? 79 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,844 Nan! 80 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,643 Huh? 81 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,124 Eight bags, that's the lot. 82 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,125 Emma? 83 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,248 Check that this is on right. 84 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,688 A hundred and sixty, there, please, Annie. 85 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,810 They're safe enough there, love. 86 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,564 Night, girls. 87 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,162 Jesus! 88 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,288 It's colder than a Norwegian's tit. 89 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,001 - Oh, lovely, Colm. - What? 90 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,242 Did you put your rent in the jar? 91 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,204 Yes, I did. 92 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,562 I don't know what you need money for, anyway. 93 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,690 I need you to do us a favor. 94 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,524 Take Nan for a day out somewhere. 95 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:43,607 Okay? 96 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,489 Why? 97 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,005 You can't tell her. 98 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,647 Fine. 99 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,640 I'm going to clean up the house. 100 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,171 Does my mom know about it? 101 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:56,924 I'm going to get her to help me. 102 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,321 I just need to know we have our decoy first. 103 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,651 - Fifty. - Are you fucking serious? 104 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,325 Take it or leave it. 105 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,124 Get her out early and back late. 106 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,530 And don't let on now. 107 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,291 Can I not just want to hang out with my granny? 108 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,687 I've been on the dart before. 109 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,243 Your granddad took me out to Bray 110 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,289 when they opened the line. 111 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,530 Nineteen eighty-four. 112 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,327 Anything from the last century doesn't count. 113 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,570 Will I be back in time for Joe Duffy? 114 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,041 I dunno. Is he coming to the house? 115 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,727 On the radio. 116 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,041 - Two o'clock. - We definitely won't be back. 117 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,251 Are you cold? 118 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,890 No, I'm all right. 119 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,963 But you're a bit cold, aren't you? 120 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,804 I'm grand. 121 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,490 Just say you're cold. 122 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:11,766 But I'm not. 123 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,850 - Just say it. - I'm freezing. 124 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:16,487 Don't worry. 125 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,449 I have just the thing for you. 126 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,241 What do you think happens to you when you die? 127 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,967 I don't think anything happens. 128 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,331 Maybe coming back to life as someone else, 129 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,290 like the president or some famous singer. 130 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,087 Or a handicap or a homeless person. 131 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,004 No. 132 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:04,605 Or you come back as Colm. 133 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,842 Aw, wreck the head. 134 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,367 Something better than you are now. 135 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,325 No such thing. 136 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,131 Okay. 137 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,486 Me... 138 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,450 except... I'm younger 139 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,691 - and I can fly. - Seriously. 140 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,526 It's not a conversation to be taken seriously. 141 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,843 Reincarnation is serious. A lot of people believe in it. 142 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,442 More wishful thinking. 143 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,808 Surprise! 144 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,769 It's not my birthday until next week. 145 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,002 Special treat, Mom, ahead of your birthday... 146 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,083 full house makeover. 147 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,046 What? 148 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,726 Everything of worth or sentimental value has been cleaned. 149 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,486 Everything else has been repaired, replaced or upgraded. 150 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,608 Fresh as a daisy. 151 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:21,369 New toaster, new kettle. 152 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,204 I cleaned the cooker. 153 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,249 New digital TV service... 154 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,324 No more crappy picture quality and you can record on it. 155 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,050 It's like watching it back live. 156 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,202 And, drumroll please... 157 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,567 Whoa-aaa! 158 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,163 Giant basket for your wool! 159 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,404 Oh, look. 160 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:47,733 We put these all around the house. 161 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,002 Keep the old-folk stink away. 162 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,729 Come on, Mom. 163 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:07,885 New table. 164 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,122 And you can see yourself in the mirror now. 165 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,085 Where's everything gone? 166 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,607 Three hundred and eighty-six true crime novels, 167 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,684 forty-six phone books, twenty-two years of newspapers. 168 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,089 Calendars, birthday and Christmas cards, knitting patterns. 169 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,481 Seven million Chinese take-away menus. 170 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:45,766 Eight million bus tickets. 171 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:51,165 School books, first year leaving certificate, 1954-1996. 172 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,448 All sorts of other junk, too. 173 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,165 All gone to recycling. 174 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:00,481 Come on. 175 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,969 Ta-dah! 176 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,647 New shower curtains. 177 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,088 Handles in the bath. 178 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,768 - Oof! - Oh, here. 179 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,847 We cleared out some of the old furniture in my room. 180 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,048 Oh, some nice improvements in there. 181 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,407 In case you ever wanted to rent it out or whatever. 182 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:46,971 You planning on moving out? 183 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,565 No plan, no, but just in case. 184 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,290 Keep your eyes closed, okay. 185 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,920 Annie, you get the lights. Straight across, okay. 186 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,566 Don't open your eyes, Mom, wait for the big finale. 187 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,166 Wait... okay. 188 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,161 Ta-dah! 189 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,564 New curtains, new carpet. 190 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,121 Best of all, no more smelly old mattress. 191 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,408 Brand-new bed, lkea's finest, 192 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,449 memory foam, orthopedic. 193 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,763 Best night's kip ever. We both got one. 194 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,325 Where's the old one? 195 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,490 Oh, yeah. We cleared out all the crap from under the bed. 196 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,888 You can see right through to the other side. 197 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,361 Have a look! 198 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,727 Much better feng shui! 199 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,564 Where's it gone? 200 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,810 Mom, you don't have to worry about it, 201 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,850 - that's the point. - Where is it? 202 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,045 Why do you want to know? 203 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,721 Because all my money was in it. 204 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,045 Are you sure? 205 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,844 Yes, Colm, I'm sure. 206 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,611 How much? 207 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,044 Nearly a million. 208 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,486 I tell you what, Mom, you can still nail a punch line. 209 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:08,926 Yeah, me small wit. 210 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,491 A million bedbugs. 211 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,810 A million euros. 212 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,201 Ah, pull the other one, would you? 213 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,249 How would you get a million euro? 214 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,608 Selling off the garage at the end of the garden, 215 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,367 rent from the basement flat, 216 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,168 my inheritance, 217 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,281 whatever your dad didn't drink, 218 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,763 savings from teaching and my pension. 219 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,046 Not quite a million, 220 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,727 but fifty year's savings adds up. 221 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:50,709 If you did have the money, Mom, 222 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,285 why didn't you put it in the bank? 223 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,164 Have you not been listening to the news? 224 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,845 It was safe here. 225 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,923 You could hold it in your hands. 226 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,727 I didn't know you idiots were going to come along and throw it out. 227 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,929 You don't think she's serious, do you? 228 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,889 She looked very serious to me. 229 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,291 It went out the front with the rest, didn't it? 230 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,522 - Yeah. Did the charity take it? - No. 231 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:20,801 How can you be so sure? 232 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,803 They don't take beds or bedding. 233 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,361 - So it's gone to the dump? - Well, what did it look like? 234 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,528 - What color was it? - What did it look like, Mom? 235 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,002 - It was blue. - It was cream and blue... 236 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,881 with the letters A-Q-P printed on it. 237 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,371 It went out with everything else. 238 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:37,806 Who was the van driver? 239 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,610 Just a lad I know. He drinks up in the hill. 240 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,081 - Ring him. - I don't have his number. 241 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,208 Oh Jesus, Colm, you and your bloody schemes. 242 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:47,250 I told you to organize a professional waste service. 243 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,720 Wait a minute. 244 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,207 Whoever we gave it to would have taken it away the same. 245 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,567 In fact, if they were professional, 246 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,485 it would already be incinerated by now. 247 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,530 The guy I got to do it is probably up in the pub 248 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,690 with everything still sitting in the back of his van. 249 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,850 Where are we going? 250 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:11,884 Come on, come on. 251 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,362 Where are we going? 252 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:16,887 What about Nan? 253 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,361 - I'll take her. - Come on. 254 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:22,807 Come on. 255 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,880 To be honest, I'm not sure I believe any of this. 256 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,725 I mean, you must have changed your mattress over all those years. 257 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,642 Four times. 258 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,370 When the euro came in, 259 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:59,128 I took pounds to the bank every day for six months. 260 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:00,810 And when were you going to tell us 261 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,644 about these extensive savings? 262 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,124 I wasn't going to tell you. 263 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,604 It must be a wind-up. 264 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,289 Maybe she's in shock after we threw out all her junk. 265 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,041 Can you actually imagine 266 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,851 if there was a million euro in it? Ha. 267 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,201 Jim? Arthur in? 268 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,283 Yeah, he's sitting there. 269 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,648 See if we can grab his keys from on the bar. 270 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,321 - Was he there? - No. 271 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,845 Might have gone out for a smoke. 272 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:48,168 Didn't see him outside. 273 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,529 Jeez, that's brutal, isn't it? 274 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,047 - Three-nil. - Yeah. 275 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,887 Give us a packet of them crisps there, will you, Jim? 276 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,809 What do you want Arthur for? 277 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,644 Nothing. Just looking for him. 278 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,482 Aw, fuck it, Jim. 279 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,366 Bollocks! 280 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,010 What the hell are you doing? 281 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,328 - Get out of that van. - Sorry, Arthur. 282 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,605 We threw out something that Mother wanted to keep. 283 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,449 We thought you might still have it in the van. 284 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,204 You'd want to wise up. 285 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:36,921 Sorry. 286 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:39,850 Where did you dump it? 287 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,763 Aw, come on, man. I apologized, okay? 288 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:48,890 Gimme me keys. 289 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,404 Where did you offload it? 290 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,842 The recycling depot in Ring's End. 291 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,085 Okay. 292 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:00,890 Okay, great. 293 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,849 Thanks, Arthur. Cheers. 294 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,845 I'll make it up to you! 295 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,889 I'll buy you a pint, right? 296 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,051 - Should we climb over? - What if there's a guard dog? 297 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,282 Why would they be guarding a load of rubbish? 298 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,010 It's worth a lot. You'd be surprised. 299 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,650 They sell it to the Chinese. 300 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,922 I wonder how much they pay for old mattresses. 301 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,080 Well, are we going to do something or what? 302 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,050 - I'm not getting over that. - Needn't bother. 303 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,646 Everything's cleared. They must have already sent it on. 304 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,007 Where, Colm, to where have they sent it? 305 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,764 Some sort of sorting facility I suppose. 306 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,604 You suppose. 307 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,081 I'll go in and talk to them in the morning. 308 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,402 - Monday morning. - It's a bank holiday. 309 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:41,971 Tuesday morning. 310 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,445 Don't worry, Colm will find it on Tuesday. 311 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:47,645 Colm is sick. 312 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,165 He couldn't find a wife or a job. 313 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,607 How's he going to find my life savings? 314 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,806 All right, go on! 315 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,691 - He will. - Mmm. 316 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,450 Oh, oh! 317 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,284 - God help me! - I'll hold you. 318 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:04,970 Get your hands off me arse. 319 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,610 - Do you want help or not? - Bollocks! 320 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,488 I hate Sundays. 321 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,042 Why do you want it back? 322 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,806 It's got sentimental value. 323 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,843 Dad used to sleep on it with her. 324 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,129 Oh. Happy memories, huh? 325 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,090 Just let it go, love. It'll be filthy by now. 326 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,083 It'll be no use to you. 327 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,006 Yeah, she's superstitious, too. 328 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,202 Probably easiest just to find it. 329 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:05,681 Oh. 330 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,045 Well, if you put it in the right container, 331 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,005 It's probably gone to landfill via the depot by now. 332 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,004 People put mattresses 333 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,521 all over the shop here. Rubble, timber, 334 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,286 damaged furniture, pre-loved furniture. 335 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,771 Reusable. 336 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,448 Either way it's probably gone to the landfill. 337 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,923 I thought this was a recycling center. 338 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,889 It's practically impossible to recycle a mattress. 339 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,405 They're indestructible yokes. 340 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,244 You put them in the shredder... 341 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,244 and they're likely to pop out the other side intact. 342 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,447 The pickarinos try to get the steel out of the springs sometimes, 343 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,323 but it's just not worth the effort. 344 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,204 Well, where the hell do we start? 345 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,331 Gerry! 346 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,529 If it did go to the landfill, how would we find it? 347 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,407 - Jump up and down. - Pardon? 348 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:55,802 Well, you wouldn't be able to see it 349 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,247 'cause they cover everything up really quick. 350 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,165 Unless they leave the corner sticking up or something. 351 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,125 But you can usually tell by the feel of it 352 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,842 there's a mattress in the ground 'cause it's soft, springy. 353 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,363 Starts right over there. 354 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,490 Just gotta go in. 355 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,248 There's this whole section here. 356 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,641 That's all fresh stuff just coming in now. 357 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,683 So, see, if we go up to the office... 358 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,924 Lift up that brown one. 359 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,851 - We're trying to lift it. - Just push it. 360 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,724 Yeah. Fuck off. 361 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,724 Whoo! Trick or treat! 362 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,570 Awww! 363 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,491 . - Arrrgh! 364 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,009 What are you looking at? 365 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,726 What are you doing? 366 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,605 Where's that county map? 367 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,161 I'm going to start looking up landfills. 368 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,683 Some kids just robbed the shed out of the garden. 369 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,604 Let them have it. 370 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,649 We never used it for anything anyway. 371 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,887 Look, I know the scene. 372 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,402 There is probably about a hundred of the little fuckers. 373 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,562 I'm not going to go after them, take it off them, 374 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,760 then try and drag it back up the street and over the wall, 375 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,406 with them all chucking stones at me and calling me names. 376 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,602 Just let them do their gathering. 377 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,890 Stop! 378 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,565 Wait a second, you! 379 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,481 Guys? 380 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,081 Stop! 381 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,528 Hey! Hey! Hey, did yous take a blue mattress from outside? 382 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,045 Shut up, you! 383 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,752 Look, come here, I don't care about the shed. 384 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,081 Did you take a mattress from down outside? 385 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,129 Do you want a dig in the head, do you? 386 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,887 Come on, lads. Come on, lads! 387 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:36,441 Come on, boys! 388 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,331 Quick! Quick! Quick! 389 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,606 Here. Did you see anyone put a mattress in there? 390 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,570 Here, take your hands off him! 391 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,166 Mary, some fuckin' weirdo's at your son. 392 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,408 No, no, no. 393 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,528 Mary! 394 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,084 Look here, mister. 395 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:09,850 I'll knock the bollocks off you! 396 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,405 You pedo! 397 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,291 I'll tear strips off you and feed them to the dog! 398 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,041 It either went in the fire or went in the recycling. 399 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,645 Unless that fella in the pub 400 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,087 didn't send it to the recycling. 401 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,562 What? 402 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,369 If he was lying. 403 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,286 About what? 404 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,284 Sending it to the recycling. 405 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,283 And why'd you think that? 406 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,247 Well, you could sort of tell, couldn't you? 407 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,170 Well, why didn't you say anything? 408 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,482 You never listen to me anyway. 409 00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:58,971 Jesus. 410 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,325 Annie, I'm borrowing the car. I'll drop it back to you later. 411 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:08,681 I've got the keys. 412 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,084 Eh, come on, get in. 413 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,163 Ah, for flip sake, a ball. 414 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:14,924 Here, hold that. 415 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:16,685 Go on, you get in. 416 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,962 You didn't go to the recycling center at all, did you? 417 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,449 Tread lightly, Colm. 418 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,848 How much do they charge for a van? 419 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,765 Colm, you gave me 60 quid to get rid of it for you. 420 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,764 That doesn't buy you the right to ask how I can make that profitable. 421 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,167 I'll give you another 20 if you tell me where you dumped it. 422 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:39,970 What do you want to know so much for? 423 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,482 Because the thing's had sentimental value. 424 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,563 It just looked like old rubbish to me. 425 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:46,931 Fifty. 426 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,604 You're showing your hand now, Colm. 427 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:54,964 How much do you want to tell us where it is? 428 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,761 Well, that's a big question, me dear. 429 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,291 I think maybe knowing Colm as I do, 430 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,050 he wouldn't be this motivated to look for something 431 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:05,125 just because his poor old Mommy had some sentimental attachment. 432 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,687 I'd say you've thrown out something of monetary value. 433 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,969 A ring maybe, in a drawer? An antique? 434 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:12,850 And you're willing to pay up to nearly that value 435 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,281 as long as it's still an oyster laying there for you. 436 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,761 So, until you tell me what's up there, 437 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,122 I can't give you a price now, can I? 438 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,523 - Up where? - Tsk, tsk, tsk! 439 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:27,082 Why don't you think about what your price is 440 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,481 and we'll call you in the morning. 441 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,682 Hold on a second, he's just taking-- 442 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,365 Shut up, Colm. 443 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:35,765 Okay? 444 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:37,844 Yeah. 445 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,648 Call me in the morning and we'll work it out. 446 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,108 I'm going to call you at 10:00 in the morning, Arthur. 447 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,804 You better answer. 448 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,887 What the hell are you doing? You totally let him off the hook. 449 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,686 Oh, Jesus, Colm, can you not do anything right? 450 00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,604 You should stay out of it. 451 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,125 I could have done a deal with him. 452 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,408 Huh. You have your dad's brains. 453 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,251 That's the best I can say about you. 454 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,681 I think I'll keep the car till the morning, will I? 455 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,729 I don't fancy walking home from Annie's now. 456 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,045 - We're not going home. - We're not? 457 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:25,922 Do you see that white van? 458 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:27,964 Yes, I see the white van. 459 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,645 I see that van in my sleep. 460 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,326 I'm fecking haunted by that white van. 461 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,690 Follow it. 462 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,166 Mom, you're a genius. 463 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,288 How did you crack that? 464 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,604 After so many years, I've gotten to know 465 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:50,209 how opportunistic chancers like that think. 466 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,369 Like Colm. 467 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,207 Where the hell's he going? 468 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,491 Lovely friends you have, Colm. 469 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,004 This is where you go to bury a body, not dump old furniture. 470 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:03,888 I hate Halloween. 471 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:12,849 We have him now. 472 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,088 The dirty, lying head on you, Arthur. 473 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,969 People are going to hear about this. 474 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,610 Relax, will you? I was just worried somebody 475 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,410 might have overheard us in the pub. 476 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:36,721 How would ya know where to look? 477 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,281 Eh, everybody dumps shit along this stretch. 478 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,528 There were a load of gypos made a mess of it. 479 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,364 It's not here. 480 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,724 So it's a mattress you're after? 481 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,127 Where's the fucking mattress, Arthur? It's not here. 482 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,203 What? Was there something in it? 483 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,169 - Money? - Where did you put it? 484 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:54,560 I threw everything out here, 485 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,046 yours and another load. 486 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,850 Definitely some mattresses in it, 487 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,570 but it's all been moved around. 488 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,444 Maybe the gypos were rootin' through it, 489 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,085 or the corpo took it. 490 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,969 They'll be up in the morning, we should ask them. 491 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:06,724 How much was in it? 492 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,723 Arthur, if you ask me that again 493 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,848 I'm going to punch you in the face. 494 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:15,645 Do you believe in hell? 495 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,563 I do. 496 00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:21,324 It's living with Colm. 497 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,891 That's a fucking bed bottom, sure. 498 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,490 What are you doing? 499 00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:41,370 Can you even drive? 500 00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,842 Oh, I drove your granddad's car a few times... 501 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,048 on Dollymount Strand. 502 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,845 Take that, Colm, you dope! 503 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,565 Hi, Mom! 504 00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:28,245 - Hi, Mom. - Say hi, everyone. 505 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:29,640 - Hello! - Hello! 506 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,564 Oh, look, there's Michael. 507 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:34,200 I don't think I've ever seen those gloves on him before. 508 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,482 And here is Colm, 509 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:39,849 lifting... lifting a box! 510 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,729 - It's a box of wool. - It happens to be heavy. 511 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:43,325 It's a heavy box of wool! 512 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,563 You're not supposed to be lifting anything. Here. 513 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,604 Jesus, Colm! 514 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:52,842 Don't just feck it into the box! 515 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,725 You're supposed to wrap and pack, wrap and pack. 516 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:57,922 Oh, it's a teasmade! 517 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,321 Oh, Jesus! 518 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,528 - Your side now, Des. - Yeah. 519 00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:04,768 - Easy. Easy! - Sorry about that. 520 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,241 You're not directing it, you're either helping or you're not. 521 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:08,890 - I'm helping! - Oh, come on. 522 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,407 Oh, for fuck sake, seriously, what are you doing? 523 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,011 Just checking me teeth. 524 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,731 Cleaning your teeth? 525 00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:17,730 Yeah, no, I-- Yeah, I understand that, 526 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,644 but how many mattresses can you get in a day? 527 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:22,326 And do you recycle? 528 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,244 Hi, uh, just wait a sec. 529 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,651 What's the area that you cover? 530 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,450 Mom, do you have money for the pizzas? 531 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,967 - I never ordered pizzas. - Colm did. 532 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,566 - Well, let Colm pay for them. - He's on the phone, I think. 533 00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:38,961 - He'll be down for you in a minute. - Okay. 534 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:40,929 He gave me 50 percent off vouchers. 535 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,128 He said get one of yous to pay for the other half. 536 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,805 The other half? 537 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,450 Cheeky bollocks. 538 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,608 What are yous doing? 539 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,731 We're just... 540 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,120 Planning something. 541 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,570 What is it, a treasure hunt? 542 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,609 Excuse me. 543 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,000 It's a family matter, okay? 544 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:03,685 Can you wait out in the hall, please? 545 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,401 Yeah, okay. Sorry. 546 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:09,611 Jesus. 547 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:14,801 Hello? 548 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,247 We're going to have to start being more discreet about this. 549 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,323 - Shush! - Don't shush me, Michael. 550 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:23,647 I thought it might have been burnt, 551 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,729 but I went around this morning and there's no sign 552 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,122 of any mattress springs or anything, 553 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:29,049 so it's out there somewhere. 554 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,168 - What's he doing? - Colm, can you-- 555 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,049 Dublin Corporation said they might have cleared it 556 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,282 to landfill, but it's impossible to know. 557 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,323 So, it's a blue mattress? 558 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,887 Yes, Joe, cream and blue, and we'll pay a reward 559 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,646 of 50,000 euro to anyone who can help us find it. 560 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,485 - Colm, hang up the phone! - Colm! 561 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,051 - Hang up the phone! - Hello? 562 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,322 Colm, are you still with us there? We seem to have lost Colm. 563 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,642 Hello, Colm? He's gone. 564 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,609 It was the best idea any of us have had. 565 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,491 Why don't you ask someone before you do these things, Colm? 566 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,086 It's all of our money in that mattress, it's not just yours. 567 00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:02,164 - Idiot. - Don't call me an idiot. 568 00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,084 Oh God, would you listen to this? 569 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:05,401 Why would I give this fella back that money 570 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,324 for 50 grand when I could just keep the lot? 571 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,084 If it's in the tip, it's finders keepers. 572 00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:11,208 Ah, now just hang on for two secs. 573 00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:14,125 This is his elderly mother's life savings we're talking about. 574 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,039 You wouldn't just keep them for yourself, would you? 575 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,834 She didn't find it necessary to spend it before now. 576 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,081 What's changed? 577 00:38:19,240 --> 00:38:20,861 I've been out of work for nearly two year, Joe. 578 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,645 I've got two kids to feed, me wife's on disability 579 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,928 and I've got a gas bill that's going through the roof. 580 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:27,605 A million euro for putting a peg on me nose? 581 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,091 Yes, please. 582 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,771 Des says there's only six landfills that it could be in. 583 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,400 So if we do one a day, do them well, 584 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,403 worst case scenario is we'll have it in a week. 585 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,485 It's better that you're here, Mom. 586 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,563 You know what it looks like on a subconscious level. 587 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,081 You'll probably see it out of the corner of your eye. 588 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,000 I think you should have to search these places by yourself 589 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:52,929 for being such a dope. 590 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,321 You're some cheeky little wagon, do you know that? 591 00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,126 I mean, where do you get off calling me a dope at 12 years of age? 592 00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:00,851 She's 13. Don't talk to her like that. 593 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,606 Thirteen and she thinks she knows everything. 594 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:10,208 God, this looks busy. 595 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,289 Shit. 596 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,730 Bollocks. 597 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:46,806 That mattress has my name on it. 598 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,361 I'm not going home until I find that money. 599 00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:11,001 There he is now. Ah. 600 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:12,889 Buy him an old pint there, Jim, will you? 601 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,361 Sure didn't he throw it all away. 602 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:17,204 Give us your autograph on that, will you? 603 00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:30,370 Around a million euro. What? 604 00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,285 Why didn't you check the mattress? 605 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,841 Um, what if someone robbed it? 606 00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:39,370 We've all been following the story this week 607 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,841 of the missing mattress with a million euros stashed in it. 608 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,161 People up and down the country 609 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,368 have been eagerly searching their local dumps 610 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:47,722 in hope of finding Mrs. Annie Small's loot. 611 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,087 Annie's been good enough to join us 612 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,531 in The Late Late Show audience tonight. 613 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,163 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Annie. 614 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,764 It's also a big week for you birthday-wise. 615 00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:58,604 What age are you going to be tomorrow? 616 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:00,842 I'm going to be 80. 617 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:03,805 Well, the good news you'll be delighted to hear 618 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,606 is that in a poll on the R.T.E. website 619 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:11,171 ninety-one percent of people said that if they found the mattress 620 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,529 they'd settle for the reward and give the rest back. 621 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,523 Hey, pizza guy! 622 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:28,210 Come in, have a beer. Don't be shy. 623 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,807 - Close the door. - What's that? 624 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:32,923 Open it, Mom. 625 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,890 - Huh? - It's a wool winder. 626 00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:42,085 Hurry up, he's here. 627 00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:43,685 Yeah, okay, I'm coming, I'm coming. 628 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,804 Forty-fifth-- Oh, jeez. One, two, three, four... 629 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,291 You look lovely, Mom. 630 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,807 Well, you gave me a little bit of notice this time. 631 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,606 Yeah, we didn't think you needed any more surprises. 632 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,211 - Where is the fire? 633 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:11,007 I hear there is a smoking-hot lady in here 634 00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:12,810 in need of a good hose. 635 00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,008 Over here! 636 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,282 Oh, yeah! 637 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:18,926 Come here, Annie. 638 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:21,686 Mmm, you dirty little minx. 639 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:32,681 - Ahhh! - Oh, Jesus. 640 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,527 Ahhh! 641 00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:36,526 - Whoo! - Look at. 642 00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:39,530 Whoo, yeah. 643 00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:45,244 Whoo whoo whoo! 644 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:50,924 Fire! 645 00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:52,764 Fire! Fire! 646 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:56,123 Fire! Fire! Fire! 647 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,004 Fire! Fire! Fire! 648 00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,606 Ahh. Ohh. 649 00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:02,046 Oh, Jesus. 650 00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:05,369 Fire! Fire! Fire! 651 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:29,129 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 652 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:33,922 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Mom ♪ 653 00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:38,483 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 654 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,763 Wait, wait, wait, wait! Fire safety first. 655 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:41,967 That's a lot of candles, love. 656 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:44,487 Mind your hair now. We don't want to torch the blue rinse. 657 00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,329 No! No, no, no, no! 658 00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,448 Hey, come on. I don't take off my clothes for free. 659 00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:15,167 - Yeah, we need to get paid, man. - Everybody throw in. 660 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,288 - I don't have anything. - Seriously? 661 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,403 I made the cake. 662 00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,688 - I bought the beer. - I put up the decorations. 663 00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,810 - I made you a good show? - Yeah, you were deadly. 664 00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:26,689 Don't eat any more cake, love. You'll be sick. 665 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,887 Margaret, can you chip in to pay these guys? 666 00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:31,650 Yeah, of course. 667 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,970 - How much are you short? - 350. 668 00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:40,565 Are you serious?! 669 00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:43,608 When are yous gonna grow up? 670 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,456 Take it out of the mattress when we get it back. 671 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:47,960 Oh, I will, thanks, Colm, yeah. 672 00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:50,971 I don't have 350. I'll have to write you a check. 673 00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:00,884 - What? - Nan wants you. 674 00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,049 - For what? - The lotto. 675 00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:06,643 - What day is it? - Wednesday. 676 00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:08,643 Oh, shite. 677 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,564 I never got a ticket. 678 00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:12,848 - What's the jackpot? - Four and a half million. 679 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,327 - Oh, shite. - Nan got tickets. 680 00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:17,769 - Did she? - Yeah. 681 00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:21,402 It's on now. 682 00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:22,971 Oh ho ho, if you're not in, 683 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:24,849 you can't win. 684 00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,122 I can't believe you didn't get me one. 685 00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,851 I always get you one. 686 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,173 Good evening, everyone. I'm Ella... 687 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,045 Sorry. Here, you can have this one. 688 00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:43,725 No, go on. It's yours. 689 00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,042 Well, if we win, we'll split it. 690 00:46:46,240 --> 00:46:48,242 Not at all. 691 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,289 I had a dream we won. 692 00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:52,128 Did you? 693 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:53,486 Yeah, with these numbers. 694 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:55,449 When I woke up I wrote them out and-- 695 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:58,206 Okay, ho ho, shush shush. It's coming on. 696 00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,250 So check those tickets carefully, and the best of luck to all of you. 697 00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:03,724 Jesus, she's gorgeous, isn't she? 698 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:07,163 The first ball in tonight's lotto is number 20. 699 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:10,403 - Any luck there, Mom? - I don't think so. 700 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,289 - No. - ...number 23. 701 00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:13,805 No, wait. 702 00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:15,928 - I got them. - ...and we have number 14. 703 00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,129 - Both of them? - I have 14, too. 704 00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,089 You got three numbers? 705 00:47:21,240 --> 00:47:22,241 You got three numbers! 706 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,568 ...followed by number one. 707 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:26,041 And one! 708 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,567 You got four numbers, Mom! You got four numbers! 709 00:47:28,720 --> 00:47:30,563 Oh, shush shush shush. What did she say? 710 00:47:30,720 --> 00:47:32,290 - What did she say? - 16. 711 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:33,885 We have five numbers! 712 00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,127 That's about a quarter of a million! 713 00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:39,729 We just need one more. Come on, the six numbers! 714 00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:42,121 And the sixth ball is number 25. 715 00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,811 And the bonus ball is number 20. 716 00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,326 Whoo whoo! Mom! 717 00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,045 Mom, you fucking did it! 718 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,521 You fucking did it! 719 00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:13,927 Oh, Ella, I knew you'd have something good for me. 720 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:15,804 Tonight's winning numbers... 721 00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:20,564 Hold on, hold on. Double check. 722 00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:21,881 Double check. 723 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,446 Whoo! I knew! 724 00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,648 I knew we wouldn't be poor forever! I told you! 725 00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,286 Are you sure you got them right? 726 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:36,169 Yeah! I checked them twice. 727 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,005 - We have them all. - What do you mean "we"? 728 00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,481 I thought you said the ticket was mine 729 00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:43,688 and that you wouldn't split it? 730 00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,444 Huh? 731 00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:49,171 Well, if it's yours, 732 00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:52,250 you're going to have to share it with the rest of them. 733 00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:55,728 It's me and you, Mommy. 734 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:57,882 The lotto's always been me and you. 735 00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,162 Are you sure you got the numbers? 736 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,730 - Huh? - Maybe you should watch it again. 737 00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,008 Watch it again just to be sure. 738 00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,409 And now let's play lotto... 739 00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:14,050 It's good, isn't it? 740 00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,249 Digital television, just like watching it live. 741 00:49:18,720 --> 00:49:20,085 You were recording it? 742 00:49:20,240 --> 00:49:22,891 Oh yeah, we recorded this ages ago. 743 00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,729 "I knew. I knew we wouldn't be poor forever!" 744 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:38,363 It was last week's draw, you dummy. 745 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:41,202 So we didn't win? 746 00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,522 We bought a ticket with numbers 747 00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:45,330 from last week's draw, 748 00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,528 just to wind you up. 749 00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,051 All I want is to be allowed to live with a little bit of dignity. 750 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:57,204 That's funny, is it? 751 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,328 To want socks with no holes in them, 752 00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:01,323 money to get a little car, 753 00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:03,289 and not to have to live with my mother all my life 754 00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,841 with everyone laughing at me. 755 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,162 Yous are a shower of bastards. 756 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,489 And coming up after the break, 757 00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,483 cash-strapped locals in Kildare 758 00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:21,728 find the missing mattress everyone's been looking for, 759 00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:23,777 and how Waterford hurlers are preparing for Sunday's... 760 00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,321 They found it. 761 00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:28,929 They found it in Kildare! 762 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:39,284 You stupid. 763 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:50,489 The infamous mattress containing the missing life savings 764 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:54,042 of 79-year-old retired schoolteacher Annie Small 765 00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:57,443 was discovered here at the Ballybeg waste processing center 766 00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:00,763 outside of Celbridge. Local man Graham Gaffney 767 00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:02,649 was surprised to find the sum of money 768 00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:04,643 hidden inside the mattress was not 769 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,610 quite as substantial as many had been led to believe. 770 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,762 Graham, what exactly did you find? 771 00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,440 When I saw the first few notes I knew straightaway 772 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:14,250 that was it. And, uh... 773 00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,448 I was dancing, Joe. 774 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,011 And two of the other lads 775 00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,481 helped me drag it down into the yard. 776 00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:22,603 I offered them 10 grand each for their trouble like, you know? 777 00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:25,206 And we cut it up and... let me put it to you this way: 778 00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:27,886 there wasn't 20 grand there for the lads like, far from it. 779 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:29,610 How much did you get, Graham? 780 00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,001 670 euros, 781 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:33,685 mostly in fivers. 782 00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:35,649 And are you disappointed, Graham? 783 00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,800 Well, I did see her on The Late Late Show with me own eyes 784 00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,526 and she did say a million, so I felt a bit cheated, 785 00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:42,045 to be honest with you. 786 00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:44,322 But 670 euros 787 00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:46,608 are not bad for a day's work 788 00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:47,921 in the tip. 789 00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,361 Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish. 790 00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:59,929 There was at least 900,000 euros 791 00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:01,206 In that mattress. 792 00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,448 Aw, for God's sake. Give it up, will you? 793 00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:07,884 - I know what I had. - You saved up 600 quid. 794 00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:09,485 And you know what? Well done. 795 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:13,122 - That's more than I ever saved. - I know what I had. 796 00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:15,931 You don't remember things perfectly anymore. 797 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,651 That's life. Nobody's angry at you. 798 00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,531 Why should anybody be angry at me? 799 00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:24,001 You're the feckin' idiot who threw all my stuff out! 800 00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:27,329 Aw, Jesus. Turn it on me, why don't you? 801 00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:30,404 Do you understand you've had us all on a wild goose chase? 802 00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,210 The whole country. 803 00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:35,922 Don't you say one more word to me, Colm. 804 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,245 It's on the radio too. 805 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,021 You get to an age where all you want to believe 806 00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,811 is the world still cares about you. Tell me if I'm wrong, Adrian. 807 00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:52,804 And didn't she hit the jackpot with this one, the attention she got? 808 00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:54,530 I mean the lunacy. 809 00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:56,967 Fifteen hundred people in one dump alone 810 00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:59,851 crawling over rats, looking for a piss-stained mattress 811 00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,402 on the word of some mad old one for 600 euro? 812 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,528 This country is bollocksed. 813 00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:12,364 I can't believe they put it in the main news. 814 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:14,682 Everybody knows that was us. 815 00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:17,127 I always said this family would be famous. 816 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:20,329 Yeah, fools for life. 817 00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,084 Are you all right? 818 00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:40,410 There weren't any stains on that mattress. 819 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,330 Come back downstairs. 820 00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:44,891 Everyone's worried about you. 821 00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,764 Worried I'm not going to die soon enough. 822 00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:20,290 And how many milliliters of milk do we add? 823 00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:21,965 Emma? 824 00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:24,290 Um... 825 00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:25,965 Six hundred? 826 00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:27,884 Are you sure it's not closer to a million? 827 00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,046 Come on. Hi, Mom. 828 00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,841 Come on, say hi to Nan, kids. 829 00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,526 - What are you doing? - Did Colm not tell you? 830 00:54:49,720 --> 00:54:52,326 I'm just going to come home for a bit while I get a new place organized. 831 00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:55,609 We'll set up in the good room. You won't even know we're here. 832 00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:01,047 Hi. 833 00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:05,649 Just can't deal with that bastard bank anymore. 834 00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,530 Did you see this? 835 00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:38,531 Yeah. 836 00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:42,445 But did you see this? 837 00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,521 It isn't it. 838 00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:55,330 The color's right, 839 00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,369 but the pattern is different, 840 00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:00,524 and there's no label on the side. 841 00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:05,001 It's a different mattress. 842 00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:07,291 What? 843 00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:13,005 Don't tell anyone. 844 00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:18,330 The red pins had swarms of people 845 00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:19,885 looking through them. 846 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:23,522 The blue pins are for places that were closed. 847 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,684 The green ones don't take bulk waste. 848 00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:36,885 What are yous doing? 849 00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:41,569 Nothing. 850 00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:49,927 Where are yous going? 851 00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:51,809 Nowhere. 852 00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:53,962 Just out for the day. 853 00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:01,608 We should be near it now. 854 00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:04,287 Do you see a sign of any kind? 855 00:57:07,240 --> 00:57:09,402 No, it's more up there. 856 00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,403 No, it's here, it's here. 857 00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:12,971 No, it's up there. 858 00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,521 No, 'cause we were passing and then I saw the sign 859 00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:18,331 that said "swords" and it said like, 12km. 860 00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:19,641 No. 861 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,646 What are you going to do with the money if we find it? 862 00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:40,327 When we find it. 863 00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:45,364 What are you going to do with the money when we find it? 864 00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:49,369 What are we going to do with it? 865 00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,611 What are we going to do with the money when we find it? 866 00:57:57,560 --> 00:57:59,164 Spend it. 867 00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:08,965 Hey! 868 00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:11,885 Yous aren't looking for a mattress, are you? 869 00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:15,000 They already found it. 870 00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:21,205 It was in the papers yesterday. 871 00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,283 There was only 600 quid in it. 872 00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:52,727 We'll have to leave and get a bu-- 873 00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:55,161 - Are you paying attention? - Yeah. 874 00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:57,084 Come on, watch this now. 875 00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:59,447 Okay, so we'll get the bus here. 876 00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:04,805 There you go. 877 00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,167 Where have you been?! 878 00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:15,404 Just out for the day. 879 00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:16,925 - Shhhh. - Don't shush me, Des. 880 00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:18,445 The kids. 881 00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:20,489 Everyone's been worried sick looking for you both. 882 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,688 We didn't even know if you two were together. 883 00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:26,569 Well, we were. 884 00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:28,285 Good night. 885 00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:36,124 What the hell were you doing? 886 00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:38,362 Nothing. Let's just go. 887 00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:52,571 What's this? 888 00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:54,606 Dunno. 889 00:59:59,960 --> 01:00:02,167 It's our map of the dumps. 890 01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:04,691 They found it. 891 01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:06,604 You saw it on the television. 892 01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:08,330 I know what's going on. 893 01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,448 Mom's had another senile turn, 894 01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,648 and Emma, as usual, is humoring her. 895 01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:15,890 You're not doing her any favors by encouraging her. 896 01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:19,886 Come on, you've got school in the morning. 897 01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,520 - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, that's lovely. 898 01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:25,200 A sure sign you're spending too much time with Colm. 899 01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:37,400 Look, it's one thing leading everyone up 900 01:00:37,560 --> 01:00:39,130 the garden path with this mattress thing 901 01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:41,607 and having the whole country laughing at us. 902 01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:45,050 But now she's turned Into a crazy old woman, 903 01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:46,890 rooting around In rubbish tips. 904 01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:49,686 - I mean, enough is enough. - I'm saving some money 905 01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:51,604 now that I'm not paying my mortgage any more. 906 01:00:51,760 --> 01:00:54,366 Maybe I could chip in for a home or something. 907 01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:56,130 We can't put her in a home, guys. 908 01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:58,248 She's not leaving us much choice. 909 01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:47,324 Maybe you get a chance to go live your life again, 910 01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:50,370 but you know all the mistakes you made 911 01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:53,484 so you can do everything the right way second time around. 912 01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:57,526 Maybe you get a chance to live again, 913 01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:01,401 but to do all the things you really wanted to do... 914 01:02:02,440 --> 01:02:04,761 even if they're the wrong things. 915 01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:10,565 Maybe you get to go live your life again 916 01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:12,922 and this time 917 01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:15,449 you know what everybody else is thinking, 918 01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:19,127 So you know if they're lying, or if they like you, 919 01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:21,965 or they have some money hidden in their mattress 920 01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:23,565 and they're not telling you. 921 01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:25,810 Trust me, 922 01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:29,249 you wouldn't want to know what people are thinking. 923 01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,404 It's bad enough what comes out of their mouths. 924 01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:34,529 Maybe you get sent somewhere 925 01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:37,445 where all the rubbish you ever threw out is all piled up 926 01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:39,887 and you're stuck there until you clean it up. 927 01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:42,970 That's where your granddad is now, 928 01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:46,329 picking fag butts and whiskey bottles 929 01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:50,041 out of a giant mound of bookie slips. 930 01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:58,965 Why did you marry him If he was such a drunk? 931 01:03:00,480 --> 01:03:02,642 He wasn't a drunk when I married him. 932 01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:04,281 Oh. 933 01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:09,287 Must have been me, huh? 934 01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:10,680 No. 935 01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:18,770 Actually, probably was. 936 01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:24,051 We went down to Kerry on our honeymoon. 937 01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:28,363 There were barely even any roads there. 938 01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:32,130 But your granddad loved the country. 939 01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:36,162 His dad fought in the war of independence down there. 940 01:03:38,440 --> 01:03:39,930 He was always telling him stories 941 01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:43,607 about fighting and hiding, 942 01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:48,527 and sitting in pubs through the night planning ambushes. 943 01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:54,124 I was only complaining about the rain, 944 01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,364 the cold and... 945 01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:58,847 wanting to come home. 946 01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:02,442 But then one day he... 947 01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:05,204 He took me up, 948 01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:07,402 up onto the top of these cliffs 949 01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:10,291 looking out on the Skellig Rock. 950 01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:15,527 It was like the edge of the world, 951 01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:19,682 with the wind coming in off the Atlantic. 952 01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:22,286 I could hardly catch my breath. 953 01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:26,527 And he was shouting something to me over the wind. 954 01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:30,325 And I couldn't hear what he was saying. 955 01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:35,128 He was probably just saying it was time to go back, but... 956 01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:39,523 I like to think... 957 01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:43,081 He was saying that he loved me. 958 01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:51,884 I'll miss seeing what a great character 959 01:04:52,040 --> 01:04:54,611 you turn out to be, Em. 960 01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:01,521 I'm disgusted. 961 01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:05,002 It's like leaving a party just when it's getting good. 962 01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:06,844 You can't. 963 01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:10,289 Eighty years... 964 01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:12,922 there's no escaping it. 965 01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:21,047 Don't ever do that again-- Oh! oh! 966 01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:22,725 - Stop it, I'm serious! - How much per month? 967 01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:25,804 - Get down from there. - And that includes the knitting club? 968 01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:29,203 - Yeah, for five days a week. - Right, yeah yeah. 969 01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:31,607 And it says here a "gated community." 970 01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,140 You do that one more time, you're never having that drink again, okay? 971 01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:37,206 - She's beginning to wander a bit. - Right, give me that. 972 01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:39,840 - Okay, I'll come back to you on that. - Give it to me, will you? 973 01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:41,849 Okay. 974 01:05:42,040 --> 01:05:43,565 Stop that. You are in big trouble. 975 01:05:43,720 --> 01:05:45,643 You are in big trouble, Young-- oh! 976 01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:46,642 Young lady. 977 01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:48,962 Will you get down from the table? Oh! 978 01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:51,641 Get down from the table. 979 01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:54,047 Get down from the table now! 980 01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:24,130 Maybe you didn't save up all that money 981 01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:26,369 and the mattress they found was yours. 982 01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:29,008 Did you ever even consider that? 983 01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:34,242 I'm senile, is that it? 984 01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:38,481 No, just-- Maybe you made a mistake. 985 01:06:38,680 --> 01:06:41,968 In which case, at least we didn't throw out a million quid. 986 01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:48,284 Go home. 987 01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:51,086 I'm not in the mood for babysitting you. 988 01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:35,405 Could you let us off here? 989 01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:37,961 Yeah, no problem. 990 01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:53,490 Look, I'm not in the mood for wind-ups. 991 01:14:53,960 --> 01:14:56,167 It's past a joke. 992 01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:03,002 Colm! 993 01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:09,560 You got it, you got it! 994 01:15:09,720 --> 01:15:11,449 You got it! You got it, ha ha ha! 995 01:15:11,600 --> 01:15:13,967 Whoa. 996 01:15:20,400 --> 01:15:22,368 Hiya. 997 01:15:22,520 --> 01:15:23,681 What? 998 01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:24,887 What?! 999 01:15:29,360 --> 01:15:31,044 Go harder! 1000 01:15:35,760 --> 01:15:37,922 Whoo-hoo! Oh, mind, Colm! 1001 01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:41,921 - Stop! - Got you. 1002 01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:44,321 Ah, no. 1003 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:46,041 Mom. 1004 01:15:46,200 --> 01:15:47,122 Mom? 1005 01:15:48,720 --> 01:15:49,926 There's some people at the door. 1006 01:15:50,080 --> 01:15:51,570 They said they want to speak to you. 1007 01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:53,404 What? 1008 01:15:53,560 --> 01:15:55,085 Stop it! 1009 01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:57,971 - Okay, come on. - Mommy, I want to play with it. 1010 01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:00,487 Stop! 1011 01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:10,441 Surprise! 1012 01:16:14,560 --> 01:16:16,449 Whoo-hoo! 1013 01:16:30,560 --> 01:16:33,211 What's wrong, Mom? You're not happy? 1014 01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:38,130 There isn't really a million euros in it. 1015 01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:43,680 I just said that so yous'd take me seriously. 1016 01:16:47,800 --> 01:16:49,450 It's more like... 1017 01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:52,651 a few hundred thousand. 1018 01:16:54,080 --> 01:16:56,606 Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish! 1019 01:16:57,600 --> 01:16:58,931 Out of the way. 1020 01:17:01,320 --> 01:17:03,129 The mattress has landed. 1021 01:17:05,480 --> 01:17:06,686 Pull it up there. 1022 01:17:06,840 --> 01:17:08,080 Annie, don't... 1023 01:17:10,160 --> 01:17:11,730 Where did you get it? 1024 01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:14,290 Colm found it. 1025 01:17:21,400 --> 01:17:23,289 Well done, son. 1026 01:17:25,960 --> 01:17:27,485 Come on. 1027 01:17:29,960 --> 01:17:32,122 - Who's going for champagne? - Way ahead of you. 1028 01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:34,362 Three bottles of the Bollinger, coming up! 1029 01:17:34,520 --> 01:17:36,727 Guys, it's Mom's money. You can't start spending it. 1030 01:17:36,920 --> 01:17:38,410 Oh stop, will you? It's a drop in the ocean. 1031 01:17:38,560 --> 01:17:41,086 That's exactly the reason she didn't tell us in the first place. 1032 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,368 That's not the reason at all. She was just keeping it 1033 01:17:43,520 --> 01:17:44,567 as a surprise. Isn't that right, Mom? 1034 01:17:44,760 --> 01:17:46,569 Oh my God, yous are unbelievable. 1035 01:17:46,760 --> 01:17:48,444 Shut up you, will you? Can we not have 10 minutes 1036 01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:49,926 of fun without you judging us all the time? 1037 01:17:50,080 --> 01:17:51,525 Don't tell me to shut up, Colm. 1038 01:17:51,680 --> 01:17:53,094 Spare me, Margaret. You're coming in here, 1039 01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:54,486 you think you're that much above everyone else. 1040 01:17:54,640 --> 01:17:56,051 It's not your money to spend. 1041 01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:57,690 You just became the financial regulator for the family? 1042 01:17:57,840 --> 01:18:01,162 One of us has to be, but in this case I'll make an exception. 1043 01:18:01,360 --> 01:18:02,725 - Go get the champagne. - Did you hear that, lads? 1044 01:18:02,880 --> 01:18:04,644 Get it quick before she changes her mind. 1045 01:18:04,800 --> 01:18:06,768 Let's celebrate! 1046 01:18:08,240 --> 01:18:10,720 Whoo-hoo!