1 00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:09,270 This is a stickup. Everybody down on the ground. 2 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,446 Just stay on the floor, and nobody gets hurt. 3 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:13,491 Hurry up before - the pigs get here. - Be cool. 4 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:14,840 Why are you doing this? 5 00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,886 Because banks are a bummer, man. 6 00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:18,801 This mask is so hot. 7 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,846 Ah, it's like my hair was sweating. 8 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:23,023 Flower, put your mask back on. 9 00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,415 Don't use my real name. 10 00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:26,591 That's not your real name. 11 00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:28,811 [siren approaching] Oh, right, it's Susan. 12 00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,291 Let's get out of here. 13 00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,771 G-Go, go, go! 14 00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,643 Bye. 15 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:36,732 ♪ 16 00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:41,476 [door closes] JAY: Babe? 17 00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:42,912 Sam? 18 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:45,871 Hey. I got you your favorite. 19 00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,570 Oh, Daisy's Coffee Shop. I love this place. Thanks, babe. 20 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,528 That is an americano for my booboo, 21 00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:53,575 and a perfectly normal adult caffeinated beverage for me. 22 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,230 This is not a man who's destined to keep it tight, Sam. 23 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:57,796 What are you working on? 24 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,755 Well, I'm trying to come up with article ideas for my meeting 25 00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:01,365 at The Ulster County Review tomorrow. 26 00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:03,237 The New Yorker of the Hudson Valley? 27 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,108 That's a big opportunity. 28 00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,892 Yeah, this is the kind of serious journalism 29 00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:08,329 I've always wanted to do, 30 00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,983 and if it goes well, it could turn into a regular gig. 31 00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:12,246 You're gonna kill it, babe. 32 00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:13,943 All right, I'll leave you to it. 33 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:17,207 Mmm. Yum. 34 00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:18,687 Mmm. Mm. 35 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,993 I can't watch a man do this to himself. 36 00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:22,125 I'm okay with it. 37 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,084 - JAY: Love you, babe. - Ooh, wait. 38 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,086 I've got an article idea for you. 39 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,610 What about a profile of a local celebrity? 40 00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:29,828 Ooh, like who? 41 00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:31,134 I'm right here. 42 00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:33,049 You said you wanted a good story, 43 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,268 I'm a good story. 44 00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:35,921 FLOWER: Oh, I got a story. 45 00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:37,749 Did I ever tell you guys about the time I robbed a bank? 46 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:40,839 Only once a week for the last 50 years. 47 00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,189 Wait, you robbed a bank? 48 00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:44,626 Flower's hippie cult knocked off a bank, 49 00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,193 then gave the money to poor people. 50 00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:47,977 This was the commune, not the cult. 51 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:50,327 They're very similar, but the commune let you wear your shoes 52 00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:51,850 and you could still talk to your family. 53 00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:54,201 A Robin Hood hippie bank robbery? That's amazing. 54 00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,028 This should be the article I write. 55 00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:57,769 Article? What's she talking about? 56 00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,162 SAMANTHA: Oh, it's for a local magazine. 57 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:01,077 This is exactly the kind of thing they'd love. 58 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,513 Quirky, human interest. 59 00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,559 Well you-you can't write about it. I'm sorry. 60 00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:05,429 SAMANTHA: What? 61 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:06,865 Flower, this would be, like, 62 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,650 the biggest assignment I've ever landed. 63 00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:09,955 They made me take an eternal blood oath 64 00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,000 to never talk about it. 65 00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,480 Oh, totally not a cult. 66 00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,612 Flower, you told us about it a million times. 67 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,093 Well, that's different than publishing it in a magazine. 68 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,094 But, Flower, it would just be... 69 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,182 I said no! 70 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:24,492 So... [chuckles] I guess we're back to Alberta. 71 00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:26,058 [gasps] Hold up. 72 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:28,539 "Back to Alberta." 73 00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:29,758 [laughs] 74 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:32,108 I think we just found our title. 75 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,593 So, what do we think? 76 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,073 I'm gonna say just moved from the city, Ivy League. 77 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:43,032 Close. Northwestern. 78 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,338 You can see us? 79 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:45,643 It's kind of a long story. 80 00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:47,123 I had this near-death experience, 81 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,777 and now I see ghosts. 82 00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,953 I guess that's not such a long story. [chuckles] 83 00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:53,782 Name's Winky. Age 12 when I kicked the bucket. 84 00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:56,872 Headline? I got trampled by a horse. 85 00:02:56,915 --> 00:03:00,702 I'm Shiki. I'm Lenape, and I've been here since the 1500s. 86 00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:02,486 Lenape? 87 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,966 I actually know a... 88 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,185 Who are you talking to? 89 00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,621 I... 90 00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:08,449 I-I was, uh, just practicing for our meeting. 91 00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:12,235 I was saying I actually know some stories to pitch you. 92 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,803 Let me just, uh, check these out. Okay. 93 00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,544 Oh. Oh, okay, that... works. 94 00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:19,242 Okay. Oof, no. No. 95 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:22,593 Did that. That's too obvious. What's this in the margin here? 96 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:24,334 Gummy bears? Was there a listeria outbreak 97 00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:25,379 in the plant or something? 98 00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:26,945 No, my husband wrote that. 99 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,469 He wanted me to pick up gummy bears while I was in town 100 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:31,385 because we ran out, and he likes gummy bears. 101 00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,562 Look, there's some good ideas in there, 102 00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:37,086 but if I'm gonna hire a freelancer, 103 00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,305 I really need to be wowed, 104 00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:40,263 so unless you can do that, 105 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,960 I'm gonna have to say, "Nice to meet you, 106 00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:44,746 and I'm sorry." 107 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,402 Wait, what if I told you that I had a lead on a story 108 00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,099 about a group of hippies who held up 109 00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,318 Hudson Valley Citizens Bank 110 00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:52,710 in the 1960s and were never caught? 111 00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,408 I'm interested. Who's your source? 112 00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:55,496 - Can you bring them in? - No. 113 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,541 Uh, only I can see them. 114 00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,021 Give me 6,000 words by Tuesday. 115 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:02,198 [snaps fingers] Sold. A hippie bank robbery? 116 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,721 You should've led with that one, kid. 117 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:12,252 Hey, babe. 118 00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,949 So, how'd it go? 119 00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:16,821 - Well, he bought one of my ideas. - That's great. 120 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:19,171 We're gonna celebrate tonight with gummy bears, 121 00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:21,913 which you left in the car, he said hopefully? 122 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:22,958 ALBERTA: So... 123 00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:24,568 which article did he buy? 124 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:25,961 Look, you can't tell Flower. 125 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,310 I literally can't see Flower. 126 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,225 Oh, I was talking to Alberta and Isaac. 127 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,444 They were already in here with you. 128 00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:31,836 That's not creepy at all. 129 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,316 I panicked, and I pitched the story 130 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,057 about Flower's commune robbing the bank. 131 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,319 The editor flipped for it. 132 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,364 That's great. Yes! Bravo! 133 00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,930 No, it's terrible. 134 00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:41,063 Flower explicitly told me not to write about it. 135 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,630 Okay, well, she's not gonna know. 136 00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:44,327 Come on, babe, this is your dream gig. 137 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,503 I know, and now that they bought it, 138 00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,331 it's not like I can go back there saying, 139 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:50,420 "Whoop, never mind." They'll never want to work with me. 140 00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:52,988 Plus, this whole thing makes no sense. 141 00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:54,903 For years, she's bragged about it. 142 00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,079 Now, suddenly, she doesn't want the whole world to know. 143 00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:59,124 Mm. That girl is hiding something, 144 00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:01,388 and if she's hiding something, it's probably juicy, 145 00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:04,173 and if it's juicy, I'm gonna need to know it. 146 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,958 Mm, Sam, you must write this article. 147 00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:08,960 But Flower's my only source, and I can't even interview her. 148 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:10,919 So just have the ghosts do it. 149 00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:14,270 Yes. Yes. His mind is as sharp as his jawline. 150 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,664 And with questions woven into conversation 151 00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,274 by her trusted ghost friends, 152 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,711 she will be completely unaware. 153 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,278 You think that'll work? 154 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,715 The girl was staring at a shadow for four hours yesterday, 155 00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,717 so yeah, I think we can outfox her. 156 00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:31,766 Hey, babe, I... 157 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,595 No one's gonna tell me how that conversation ended? 158 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,646 Oh, great, there you are, Sasappis. 159 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,735 Uh, seriously? Can I get a roll call, please? 160 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,129 Sure. Sasappis, Pete, Trevor. 161 00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:48,913 That's never not gonna be weird. 162 00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,437 I ran into this Lenape ghost 163 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,742 who died around the same time as you, 164 00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:52,961 and I was wondering if you knew her. 165 00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:54,223 Her name was Shiki. 166 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:55,964 Shiki? What? Are you serious? 167 00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:58,749 Did you just ask if two Lenape people knew each other? 168 00:05:58,793 --> 00:05:59,924 She was the love of my life. 169 00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:01,404 That's like me asking you 170 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,058 if you know another white lady from Ohio. 171 00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,060 Shh. He knew her. They were in love. 172 00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:06,496 Well, I was in love with her, 173 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,411 and I thought she was in love with me, 174 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,370 so I killed a deer, and brought it to her family. 175 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,415 - Sure. - And then I never heard from her again. 176 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:13,590 Oh, my God. 177 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:15,592 - What? What happened? - She ghosted him. 178 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,159 What? Excuse me? Hey, what's that supposed to mean? 179 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:18,465 JAY: [chuckles] I'm guessing 180 00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:20,075 they did not like the ghosted thing. 181 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,469 Oh, no, no, no. Ghosting is what people say 182 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,992 when you're dating someone, and they just kind of vanish. 183 00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,298 Is the point that ghosts have no manners? 184 00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:27,909 Walk me through this. 185 00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:30,041 Who knows what was going on for Shiki 500 years ago. 186 00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,478 The point is she could be in 187 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:32,696 a completely different headspace now. 188 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,785 I think you should reach out. 189 00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,047 I can pass on a message. 190 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,440 Uh, okay, yeah. 191 00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,311 Uh, how about,"Shiki, 192 00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,444 "not a day has passed since we parted 193 00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,185 "that I haven't thought of you. 194 00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:45,230 You are the love of my life."JAY: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 195 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,189 That's coming on way too strong. 196 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:48,451 What's the difference? They're ghosts, 197 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,844 and they can't even be in the same place. 198 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,541 But they could be, one day, right? 199 00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:54,283 I mean, you guys do, eventually, go up, right? 200 00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:56,546 - Get sucked off, right. - SAMANTHA: Yes, in theory, they could. 201 00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:59,636 Yeah, so he's got to play this right, and I can help. 202 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,508 I mean, this is basically texting, 203 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,248 and who's better at texting than your hubs? 204 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,337 Texting was just catching on when I died. 205 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,209 I would've loved to work with the medium more. 206 00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:09,254 Sasappis, you should just say what you want to say. 207 00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:12,214 Women value honesty and romance, not games. 208 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,651 [laughs] That's so cute. 209 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,087 When I first met you, I wanted to text you 210 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,611 every two minutes, 211 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,177 but I didn't do that, you want to know why? 212 00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,744 Because it would've scared you off. 213 00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:22,485 Okay, listen to this man, Sass. 214 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,748 I'm not saying this is a Lyle Lovett, Julia Roberts situation, 215 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:25,880 but he did well for himself. 216 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,012 You know what my dating strategy is? 217 00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:29,361 I like to get myself 218 00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,276 in something I call "the friendzone." 219 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,757 Now, nine out of ten times you end up completely desexualized, 220 00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,498 as if you're a puppy or their brother, 221 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,760 but, at the end of the day, 222 00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:38,806 you got a new friend, so win-win, right? 223 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,677 Yeah, I think I'm gonna go with Jay on this one. 224 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,941 Fine. Jay, Sasappis wants to know what he should say. 225 00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,030 Okay, first of all, delete that corny mess 226 00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:49,381 and repeat after me, "'Sup," apostrophe, 227 00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:52,210 S-U-P. End it with a period. 228 00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,169 It is a question, but we don't care enough 229 00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:55,518 to put a question mark,do we? 230 00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,477 - Sup. - Oh, this guy's good. 231 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,174 I am ready to be Miyagi'd. 232 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,135 Oh, hello, Flower. 233 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:06,921 Just popping in for a casual chat amongst close friends. 234 00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:08,488 Oh, hey, guys. 235 00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:09,489 You know what I thought was awesome, Isaac? 236 00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,055 Oh, what's that, Alberta? 237 00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,361 How my girl, Flower, here 238 00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:14,189 stood up to Sam about the bank robbery. 239 00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,669 That's not Sam's storyto tell, 240 00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:16,800 that's Flower's thing. 241 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,541 Agreed. 242 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,587 Although, I'm curious 243 00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,545 as to why you didn't want her to write the story. 244 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:26,027 Considering how freely you bless us with retellings of it. 245 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,724 Well, just between us? 246 00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:28,943 Obviously. 247 00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:30,858 There's just a part of the story 248 00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,555 I'm not ready to tell. 249 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,339 Mm, that's all you need to say. Mm-hmm. 250 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:37,691 Although, I'm worried that Sam, conniving Living that she is, 251 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,301 will find some way to trick you 252 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:40,694 into telling her your dark secret. 253 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,913 - Do you think? - It's a risk, though... 254 00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,567 Here's a thought, 255 00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,482 what if you were tell us your deep, dark secret, 256 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,137 so we can help steer Sam as far away from it as possible? 257 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:52,967 Wait, why are you guys asking me so many questions about myself? 258 00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,056 What? Uh, it's perfectly consistent 259 00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:56,753 with our personalities to want to know more 260 00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,059 about our good old friend, Flower. 261 00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:00,714 Well, if we're such good friends, 262 00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,019 what's my last name? 263 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,595 - It's Montero. - Montero! 264 00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:14,597 I knew that. - I remember that. - Mm-hmm. 265 00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,599 Okay. So, here's what I want to know, 266 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:19,776 since you guys are acting all suspicious and stuff... 267 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,347 Oh, my God. Is she still with us? 268 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:26,696 - What's going on? - Hard to say. 269 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,005 Wait, what-what were we just talking about? 270 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,180 It was important, wasn't it? 271 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:33,921 You know, I don't really recall. 272 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,837 - Oh, wait, was it love? - Sure. 273 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,273 Oh, I love love. 274 00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:39,753 I also hate tomatoes, 275 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,885 and those are a couple of things about me. 276 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,234 - Good to know. - Uh, yes. 277 00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:44,584 I am glad we got to the bottom of that. 278 00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,628 [both laugh] 279 00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:51,634 Hey. I gave Shiki the message. 280 00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:52,940 It wasn't easy. 281 00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:54,681 The editor was very curious 282 00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,378 as to why I just showed up with no appointment. 283 00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:57,771 Uh, you're back. 284 00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,990 Hey. Can I help you? 285 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,688 Uh, I just stopped by to let you know 286 00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:03,646 how things were going with the article. 287 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,039 Okay. 288 00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:07,432 Right, uh, so I dropped by the bank, 289 00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:09,434 and they're putting me in touch with a woman 290 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,262 who was a young teller at the time, 291 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:14,483 so I'm gonna give her a call, and that is where we're at. 292 00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:15,963 Okay, that's it, yeah. 293 00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:17,486 Uh, feels like this could've been an email 294 00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:20,097 - or a non-share, really. - Mm. 295 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:22,056 - BOTH: So, what did she say? - Did you read her the message? 296 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,623 Yes, I did. 297 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,146 I read the message that you guys workshopped, 298 00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,670 and let me say again, I was not a fan of it. 299 00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,717 "Sup. Cool you're still around, Shiki. 300 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,458 Would love to hear the haps sometime. Maybe." 301 00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:38,986 That's-that's it. That's all he said. 302 00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:40,335 "Sup"? 303 00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:42,554 And? And... 304 00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:44,948 she had a response. 305 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,210 "Hey." 306 00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:49,344 -"Hey"? That's it? - Oh, she's good. 307 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,433 What? How is that good? What do we do now? 308 00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:53,304 Sasappis is freaking out, which makes sense 309 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:55,132 because, clearly, that was terrible advice. 310 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,612 No, no, no, no, no. 311 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,962 If she's playing the game, that means she's interested. 312 00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:01,443 All we have to do now is craft the perfect reply. 313 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,271 Good news is we have a week to do it, 314 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,968 anything sooner than that is just thirsty. 315 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,578 I am so out of my element 316 00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:07,841 with this written communication thing. 317 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,886 Funny guys must clean up these days. 318 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,149 I'd be friendzoning everybody, hard. 319 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:17,502 Good news, Samantha. We found out 320 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,809 that Flower has a deep dark secret about the robbery. 321 00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,463 Oh, amazing. What is it? 322 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:24,074 No, no, that's it. We just found out she has one. 323 00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:25,772 Is that enough to go off? 324 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,295 ISAAC: Now let's talk byline. 325 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,297 Alberta and I are fine if your name comes first, 326 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,907 since you'll be doing most of the typing. 327 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,300 However... 328 00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:34,171 Okay, just had a pretty intense acid flashback, 329 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,347 but I remember before that, you guys were asking me 330 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,088 a bunch of questions about the robbery. 331 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:40,134 Why were you doing that? 332 00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:43,093 Because... we're interested in your life, Flower. 333 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,748 And now you're talking to Sam, who wanted to write the article 334 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,011 about me before... Oh, my God, 335 00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,752 she's piecing it together in real time. 336 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:52,146 Nobody move. She has one plus one, but I'm not confident 337 00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,625 she realizes it makes two. 338 00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,976 This is ridiculous. Flower, I'm sorry. 339 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,629 The editor didn't like my other ideas, 340 00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,675 and I was desperate, so I pitched your story. 341 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:03,026 - Whoa. Not groovy, Sam. - I know. 342 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,549 It was wrong, but I still 343 00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,029 don't get why you don't want the article. 344 00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:07,509 Yeah, what are you hiding, Flower? 345 00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:08,858 Yes, just tell us, Flower. 346 00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:10,860 Why are you so afraid to share 347 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,688 that which you claim to be the most proud of? 348 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,256 Because I'm not proud of it, okay? 349 00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,040 The money never went to any good cause. 350 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,346 The commune never donated it. 351 00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:19,869 What? Why not? 352 00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,698 Because before they could give it away, I stole it. 353 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,744 [gasps] 354 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,051 Really? No one else gasped? 355 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:29,661 Well, I guess if you're not gasping at that, 356 00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,315 you're simply not a gasper. 357 00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:31,838 [sighs] 358 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,758 After the bank robbery, the commune spent weeks debating 359 00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,021 what to do with the money. 360 00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:42,587 TED: Seven... 361 00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,850 Eight... 362 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,503 And... all right, 363 00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:49,899 so that's nine for helping out the feral cats of Costa Rica. 364 00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:52,162 [sighs] And one for narwhals. 365 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,382 Damn it, Brenda. It has to be unanimous. 366 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,036 - I'm not changing my vote. - TED: Look, 367 00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:58,168 Brenda, the feral cats of Costa Rica 368 00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,431 live in awful conditions. 369 00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:03,783 They sleep in the dirt. 370 00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,742 They-they have no escape from the elements. 371 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,049 They eat out of the garbage. 372 00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:12,704 I have an idea. 373 00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:16,883 What if we used the money to help people in need. 374 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:19,450 Like, specifically, us. 375 00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,019 BRENDA: No, guys, 376 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,325 the narwhals need us. 377 00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:27,067 TED: No, feral cats, Brenda, come on. 378 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:30,070 So, then Ira and I took the money and bolted, 379 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:31,811 and then I got attacked by a bear, 380 00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,900 and I've had an eternity to think about what I did. 381 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,858 Well, it sounds like you just made a mistake. 382 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,382 No, Sam, I'm a fraud. 383 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,645 I wanted to be a person who helped others, 384 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:44,258 but I just helped myself. 385 00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:49,741 - Well, now I feel bad. - Yeah, me, too. 386 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,787 Sam should've never written that article. 387 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,745 But you told me to. 388 00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:56,183 We're dead, and just looking for exciting things 389 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,880 to happen around here to fill up the days. 390 00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,360 Why are you listening to us? 391 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,579 [both laugh] 392 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,320 SHIKI: So... 393 00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:05,845 did you get a reply from Sasappis for me? 394 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:09,457 No, they all w-- Uh, he wanted me to wait a week. 395 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,894 - I don't know. - Oh. Okay. 396 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,069 I understand. 397 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,331 Wait a minute. 398 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,899 This is crazy. He's playing games. 399 00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:18,901 And, as a woman, I know you want the truth. 400 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,904 The truth is Sasappis loves you, and he's always loved you, 401 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,166 and he always will love you, 402 00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,820 and I can't think of a better person 403 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,301 for you to hopefully one day spend eternity with. 404 00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:30,478 Whoa. That's a little intense. 405 00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,045 - Oh, God. - Oh, no, no, no. 406 00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:34,308 It's cool, I guess. 407 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:37,877 I-I got a thing in the, uh, copy room. 408 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,835 Oh, God, wait. 409 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,184 Did you not want me to come in? 410 00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:42,664 To my office? 411 00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,840 I'm sorry, I need to talk to you, Lewis. 412 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,407 I really appreciate the opportunity, 413 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,800 but I can't write - the article. - Excuse me? 414 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:51,673 I just realized it would, it would hurt a friend. 415 00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:53,893 Again, email. 416 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:57,244 Okay, email. I get that. 417 00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,988 Knock, knock. 418 00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:04,468 I don't want to see anyone right now, Alberta. 419 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:07,950 I just have one thing I got to tell you, 420 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,256 then I'll leave you be. 421 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,955 I never shared the stage with Cab Calloway. 422 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,957 I know I always brag about that, 423 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,393 but it didn't happen. 424 00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:19,092 I did share a cab with him once. 425 00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:22,008 Nope! You know what? Ah! I'm lying again. 426 00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:23,618 I never even met the man. 427 00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:27,100 And I was never at the Boston Tea Party. 428 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,710 I was in Boston 429 00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:29,972 at a tea party, 430 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,279 but it was at my Aunt Geraldine's house. 431 00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:33,628 It was a lovely affair. 432 00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:35,499 Why are you guys telling me this? 433 00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:38,241 None of us lived up to exactly who we wanted to be. 434 00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:40,069 - ISAAC: - That doesn't make you a fraud. 435 00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:42,245 You're the biggest do-gooder of all us ghosts. 436 00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,160 Granted, that's a selfish crew. 437 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:45,814 [laughs] But you set the bar, 438 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,990 and you need to know that. 439 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,165 Thanks, guys. 440 00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:50,688 [footsteps approaching] 441 00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:52,647 Flower, hey. 442 00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:55,519 I wanted to tell you I'm not gonna write the article, 443 00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,434 and I'm sorry I went behind your back. 444 00:15:57,478 --> 00:16:00,655 You had a moment of weakness. I know the feeling. 445 00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:03,440 Hmm, I wonder what Ira did with all that money. 446 00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:06,008 Me, too. Ira wanted to blow it all on a house, 447 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,228 and I was like, "No, we should open a business." 448 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,491 You know, so we didn't have to rob any more banks. 449 00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:11,753 Oh, what kind of business? 450 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,276 A fair trade coffee shop 451 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,843 that totally paid the bean farmers 452 00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:16,453 what they should get paid, and was, like, 453 00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:18,847 not bad for the earth, but Ira said, 454 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,327 "Daisy, we don't know the first thing 455 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,502 about starting a business." 456 00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:22,938 Daisy? 457 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,984 Yeah, that was Ira's nickname for me 458 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,029 'cause I was his special flower. 459 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,292 Also, 'cause it's a weed and I love weed. 460 00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:31,251 Come with me, now. 461 00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:32,556 Okay. 462 00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:38,910 What is this? 463 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,869 It's your fair trade coffee shop, Flower, 464 00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:42,958 except it's got, like, a hundred locations. 465 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,481 Someone stole my idea? 466 00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,483 Oh, she's so close to getting it. 467 00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:47,702 God love her. 468 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:50,096 Wow. Read this. 469 00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:53,925 "The founder of Daisy's Coffee Shop is Ira Klein. 470 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:55,666 "In memory of his late girlfriend, 471 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:58,321 "profits go toward underprivileged communities 472 00:16:58,365 --> 00:16:59,844 and bear safety education." 473 00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,194 [chuckles] 474 00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,674 Ira made my dream come true. 475 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:06,547 Now that is a good ending to your article, Sam. 476 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:07,896 Maybe you should just write it. 477 00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,202 Are you sure? 478 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,552 I was so worried about people, like, 479 00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:14,337 judging me for my biggest mistake, but, 480 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,296 now I see something groovy came out of it. 481 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,732 [chuckles] 482 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:20,039 Also is anyone else seeing that color? 483 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:21,823 Is there even a name for that? 484 00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:23,912 And the horse has left the stable. 485 00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,395 [door closes] 486 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:29,831 Well, I have some news. 487 00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,789 Lewis loved the bank robbery article. 488 00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,835 Yes![cheers and applause] 489 00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:36,403 And-and he said Daisy's Coffee Shop is even cool with it. 490 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:38,492 Apparently, the statute of limitations ran out, 491 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,015 and they think it makes them look badass. 492 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,321 Ooh, they're not wrong. 493 00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:42,974 Best news for last, 494 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,889 he wants me to come in next week to pitch more ideas. 495 00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,848 That's incredible. Babe, 496 00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:49,155 - I'm so proud of you. - Thank you. 497 00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,070 Alberta, I heard you were very helpful 498 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:53,072 with Sam's article, which I thought should be acknowledged. 499 00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:55,117 Aw, thanks, Pete. You're a good friend. 500 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,641 Oh, friend. [chuckles] Wow, thank you. 501 00:17:57,685 --> 00:18:00,557 [whispers]: Hello, friendzone. I'm in. 502 00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:01,645 [chuckles] JAY: While you are at 503 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:05,519 the magazine, you can give Shiki 504 00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:07,129 her next message. 505 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,391 Jay nailed it. 506 00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:11,655 It's, "yo yo yo." 507 00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,440 The simplicity, right? 508 00:18:13,483 --> 00:18:15,137 SASAPPIS: You know what? No. 509 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,226 No more aloof messages. I can't take the waiting. 510 00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:20,273 I can't take not being honest. I'm not a games guy. 511 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:21,404 I'm looking for a woman 512 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:22,884 who wants a dead deer on her doorstep, 513 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:25,104 and when I find her, I'm gonna love her forever. 514 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,801 I am so glad you said that 515 00:18:26,844 --> 00:18:29,760 because, the last time I went in, I kind of lost it, 516 00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,458 and I basically said exactly that. 517 00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,460 What? Well, what'd she say? Did she like it? 518 00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:34,983 Not really. 519 00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,767 Seriously? 520 00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:37,986 Fix this. Jay! 521 00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,988 - Uh, he can't hear you. - What's he saying? 522 00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,946 I want the games back, please. 523 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,339 He's thanking me. 524 00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:44,993 You ruined everything. 525 00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,908 You're welcome. 526 00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:50,172 Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time I robbed a bank? 527 00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:51,782 [all groaning] Okay. 528 00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:59,007 Okay, I mean, I get it. 529 00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:00,617 I guess people just play games, 530 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,490 but I don't love that my husband is so good at it. 531 00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:04,752 [chuckles] Okay. 532 00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,493 I've been meaning to show you this 533 00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,364 for a while now. 534 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:11,454 Here. This is a screengrab of a text that I sent you 535 00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:13,891 exactly one minute after your cab pulled away, 536 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,197 the night of our first date. 537 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,504 - Oh, cute. - Read it. 538 00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,332 "Samcakes... is it okay 539 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,116 "that I call you that? 540 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,205 "I feel like that'll be my nickname for you. 541 00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:26,121 I'll call you Samcakes and you'll call me Jay-bae"? 542 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,818 I know. Keep reading. 543 00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,255 "I know you're not supposed to say stuff like that, 544 00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,082 "and maybe I'm tipsy, but I like you. 545 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,433 "Like, really like you. 546 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:36,697 And I think you might be the one." 547 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:38,220 Oh, I never got that text. 548 00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:39,874 Yeah, because by some grace of God 549 00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:41,049 it never went through. 550 00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:44,226 Okay, yeah, I would've run for the hills. 551 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,097 - Obviously. - I mean, you were psycho. 552 00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:48,361 That guy's gonna crawl inside of your skin and wear you to prom. 553 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,623 SASAPPIS: Okay, see? 554 00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:50,972 - Now will you help me? - Fine, Sass. 555 00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:54,236 Shiki will get a "yo yo yo" on Tuesday. 556 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,760 I can't believe I'm using my ghost powers for this, 557 00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:59,459 but, I guess, if it means you two could end up together 558 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,852 to do whatever it is that ghosts do... 559 00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:03,724 I was wondering about this. So, tell me, 560 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,682 can ghosts actually have sex? 561 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:08,685 We can. We just can't finish. It's very frustrating. 562 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,687 He says they can, but they can't finish. 563 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,254 - Interesting. - Gosh, I hate to do this, 564 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:13,647 but I've got some work to do. 565 00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,692 No, no, no, no, no. Sam, first question, 566 00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,259 can they take off their own clothes? 567 00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:19,261 Sam, come back, I want to tell Jay about ghost sex.