1
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:35,869
Did you feel that too?

2
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,746
- What?
- Your stomach.

3
00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:38,956
It's like butterflies.

4
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,501
My mom said when I met
the right girl, I'd feel butterflies.

5
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:43,710
I think I'm ready.

6
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:47,965
Can you believe him?

7
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,883
He falls so easily.

8
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,468
I'm a little more guarded.

9
00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:55,389
I guess it's because
I've been hurt before.

10
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,975
I'll never hurt you.

11
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,981
- My dad.
- My dad.

12
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,859
- You guys are sisters?
- Our dads are friends.

13
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,986
They went to the gym.
They're muscle-heads.

14
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:13,156
Your best bet is to curl into a ball
until they stop beating you.

15
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:16,493
I'm telling you this
because I think I might love you.

16
00:01:22,373 --> 00:01:23,416
What's our plan?

17
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:26,753
Run for the window. I'll get
the car keys. Y formation, dog-leg left.

18
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,755
- Ready, break.
- Break.

19
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,861
We should wait
two days before we call them.

20
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,200
You've gotta be kidding me.

21
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,912
Do you think they have any concept
of how fast a car can go?

22
00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:12,924
Reverse kitty cat, dog-leg left,
over the fence, on my count, break.

23
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,618
- Hey, I'm Nick.
- Shawn. Can we use your pool?

24
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:54,826
Come on, Tigers. Yeah!

25
00:02:54,993 --> 00:02:57,412
Split Johnny left!
Split Johnny left!

26
00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:01,666
Come on! Come on, guys!
Set. Hike.

27
00:03:11,175 --> 00:03:14,595
Yeah! Yeah! All day. All day.
Candy from a baby.

28
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,807
- What do you wanna do?
- That brunette.

29
00:03:17,974 --> 00:03:19,767
No, I mean, the play, in the game.

30
00:03:19,976 --> 00:03:22,562
- Come on, guys, focus.
- I've never been more focused.

31
00:03:22,729 --> 00:03:25,023
Check it, couple of meatloaves
in that baby tee.

32
00:03:25,189 --> 00:03:26,774
Not mad at that belly ring either.

33
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:30,528
Have you seen this blond?
Rackety-rack, don't talk back.

34
00:03:30,695 --> 00:03:32,530
Delay of game, loss of five yards.

35
00:03:32,697 --> 00:03:34,949
And just because
it's a spring scrimmage...

36
00:03:35,116 --> 00:03:37,702
...doesn't mean you can
shit yourselves out here. Go!

37
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,580
- Sorry, coach.
- Go, go, go. Come on, go, go.

38
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,665
Tigers!

39
00:03:42,832 --> 00:03:44,792
Come on, crowd
Let's hear some noise

40
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,170
N-O-I-S-E
Noise

41
00:03:47,337 --> 00:03:49,005
God. See, look, we took too long.

42
00:03:49,172 --> 00:03:51,382
Here come
the whack-ass cheerleaders, man.

43
00:03:51,549 --> 00:03:55,011
Noise, N-O-I-S-E
Noise

44
00:03:55,178 --> 00:03:56,220
Tigers.

45
00:04:04,729 --> 00:04:07,398
- Well, I am pumped up.
- All right, what's the play?

46
00:04:07,565 --> 00:04:09,692
Hold on,
baby tee is signing me her number.

47
00:04:09,859 --> 00:04:13,571
- Is that a seven? A five and a two?
- Any day now, shit buckets.

48
00:04:13,738 --> 00:04:16,908
They playing us loose. Let's
get short passes and extra yardage.

49
00:04:17,075 --> 00:04:19,786
The hell with that, man.
You either bet big or go home.

50
00:04:19,952 --> 00:04:22,830
- You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
- Aye, my brother.

51
00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:26,876
All right. Pro-zoom trips, deep route,
slant slim boogie on my count. Ready?

52
00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:28,544
Break.

53
00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:30,922
54s and Mike, watch that blitz.

54
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:34,342
Blue 17, set, hut.

55
00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:42,100
Come on, Shawn.

56
00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:45,061
Come on, baby. Yeah!

57
00:04:58,516 --> 00:05:00,685
- Hey, I'm Nick.
- Shawn.

58
00:05:06,649 --> 00:05:08,901
- Hey, Shawn.
- Hey, Maddy.

59
00:05:09,068 --> 00:05:12,196
Thanks for helping me study Bio.
I'm retarded about reverse osmosis.

60
00:05:12,363 --> 00:05:13,406
No, you're not.

61
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:16,075
Pressure forcing a solvent
through a membrane...

62
00:05:16,242 --> 00:05:19,203
...like when a water balloon
gets too big and then explodes.

63
00:05:19,370 --> 00:05:22,998
Got it. Thanks. You're so awesome.

64
00:05:23,165 --> 00:05:24,834
No. Science is awesome.

65
00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:28,045
And you're awesome.
Now, go crush that test.

66
00:05:28,212 --> 00:05:30,214
- Thanks.
- High five.

67
00:05:30,381 --> 00:05:32,383
Nick. Hey, Nick.

68
00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:34,510
- Name, name. I need a name.
- Jennifer.

69
00:05:34,677 --> 00:05:37,388
- Jennifer, hi, how are you?
- I'm great. Really great.

70
00:05:37,596 --> 00:05:40,057
- Are you going to the bonfire tonight?
- You know it.

71
00:05:40,224 --> 00:05:41,851
I was just saying to Shawn here...

72
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:44,937
...I cannot wait to go to the bonfire
so I can hang out with...

73
00:05:45,521 --> 00:05:47,565
- Jennifer.
- Jennifer.

74
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,902
- I'll see you tonight.
- Okay, Jennifer.

75
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,614
- It's not that hard a name to remember.
- Went out with her last semester.

76
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,743
The name gets erased
to make room for new ones.

77
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:01,912
There's like 3000 kids at this school.

78
00:06:02,078 --> 00:06:03,663
Can't you just remember
more names?

79
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,041
I don't know how it works.
Talk to Tech Support.

80
00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:08,627
- There are my guys.
- Let's bet how many times...

81
00:06:08,794 --> 00:06:11,046
- ...he says "shit." I say seven.
- No way, 10.

82
00:06:11,213 --> 00:06:12,422
- Hey, coach.
- Hey, coach.

83
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,090
Shitheads think you're the shit?

84
00:06:14,257 --> 00:06:16,426
That you don't need
to pay attention out there?

85
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:20,013
I'll kick the shit out of you.
You pumped for football camp?

86
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,182
- I guess so.
- Yeah, two weeks without girls.

87
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,934
- Who wouldn't be pumped?
- Don't mess with me, shit-dick.

88
00:06:25,435 --> 00:06:28,063
I am gonna push you like you've
never been pushed before.

89
00:06:28,229 --> 00:06:30,273
Your muscles will ache,
your head will throb.

90
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,942
You'll shit blood out of holes
you never knew you had.

91
00:06:33,318 --> 00:06:35,487
At least we're gonna
be in Daytona Beach.

92
00:06:35,653 --> 00:06:39,741
No. Change it up this year.
Camp's gonna be in El Paso, Texas.

93
00:06:39,908 --> 00:06:41,743
Hotter than your shithole.

94
00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:43,953
We're gonna get
you shits conditioned.

95
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,123
Bus leaves Monday
at O-shit-hundred hours.

96
00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:49,376
<i>Which is?
- A-AS a.m.</i>

97
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:50,960
- Of course.
- The usual.

98
00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:53,922
Skip your morning shit
and get down here.

99
00:06:55,673 --> 00:06:58,176
Ten "shits," you win.
How do you always know?

100
00:06:58,343 --> 00:07:01,137
It's a gift. I'm not proud of it.

101
00:07:02,347 --> 00:07:03,390
Bye.

102
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,018
Maybe I'll see you
sometime this summer.

103
00:07:07,977 --> 00:07:09,813
Don't be obvious.
He knows you like him.

104
00:07:09,979 --> 00:07:11,815
You guys coming
to my dad's after camp?

105
00:07:11,981 --> 00:07:14,150
- Hells, yeah. He gave it to you again?
- Nice.

106
00:07:14,317 --> 00:07:16,319
He figures if he lets
me have it one week...

107
00:07:16,486 --> 00:07:19,114
...I'll forgive him for not being there
when I need him.

108
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,491
And guess what. He's right.

109
00:07:22,117 --> 00:07:25,495
Did you hear football camp's gonna
be in El Paso? How cool is that?

110
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:28,164
We gonna be sweating, hallucinating,
our skin burning.

111
00:07:28,331 --> 00:07:30,834
Like being on shrooms,
but without girls to yell at us.

112
00:07:31,069 --> 00:07:35,698
"Where's the car? Where's the car?
I'm getting scared. Hold my purse."

113
00:07:37,643 --> 00:07:40,980
- Two weeks, Shawn. Two weeks.
- I know.

114
00:07:42,064 --> 00:07:44,150
Two weeks out of the best
years of our lives.

115
00:07:44,317 --> 00:07:46,694
Two weeks we're never
gonna get back, like, ever.

116
00:07:46,861 --> 00:07:48,237
I know.

117
00:07:48,988 --> 00:07:51,240
So are you guys psyched
for cheer camp or what?

118
00:07:51,407 --> 00:07:52,825
It's, like, all I think about.

119
00:07:52,992 --> 00:07:56,120
Know how Martin Luther King
had a dream? Well, I do too.

120
00:07:56,287 --> 00:08:00,583
To kick ass at cheer camp. And if
that makes me shallow, then fine.

121
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:04,545
- Call me and Dr. King shallow.
- That doesn't make you shallow.

122
00:08:05,379 --> 00:08:06,672
That makes you real.

123
00:08:07,298 --> 00:08:09,258
We have got to do better
than last year.

124
00:08:09,425 --> 00:08:13,137
We could take a dump in our pants
and still do better than last year.

125
00:08:13,304 --> 00:08:15,681
- I'm just saying.
- But we're better this year.

126
00:08:15,848 --> 00:08:18,935
And if we work hard,
I think we have a real shot.

127
00:08:19,101 --> 00:08:21,312
I don't know.
There's 300 girls up there...

128
00:08:21,479 --> 00:08:23,481
...who want it just as much
as we do.

129
00:08:23,648 --> 00:08:26,234
- And who are much better than us.
- Three hundred girls.

130
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,195
Who want it just as much as we do.

131
00:08:29,362 --> 00:08:31,155
And are much better than us.

132
00:08:32,573 --> 00:08:34,867
Tell you what, man,
that'd be the place to be.

133
00:08:35,034 --> 00:08:38,371
Instead of sweating our balls off
in the desert with Coach Shit-Shit.

134
00:08:40,581 --> 00:08:42,708
- So let's go.
- What?

135
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:44,710
Let's go to cheer camp,
be cheerleaders.

136
00:08:44,877 --> 00:08:46,546
- Cheerleaders?
- Yes.

137
00:08:46,779 --> 00:08:48,781
Oh, my God.
Are you coming out to me?

138
00:08:48,948 --> 00:08:50,616
I'm so proud of you, man.

139
00:08:50,783 --> 00:08:53,077
And you know what,
I kind of always knew.

140
00:08:53,244 --> 00:08:55,788
Will you shut up. All right,
I'm too straight to be gay.

141
00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:57,790
I can watch
a Project Runway marathon...

142
00:08:57,957 --> 00:08:59,834
...with Nathan Lane's
head up my dress...

143
00:09:00,001 --> 00:09:02,253
- ...and still win a straight award.
- All right.

144
00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:04,797
Which is why I wanna go
to cheer camp. Think.

145
00:09:04,964 --> 00:09:08,259
Three hundred hotties
we've never been with before.

146
00:09:08,536 --> 00:09:10,705
I wonder if they let guys
go to cheer camp.

147
00:09:11,456 --> 00:09:13,041
Name, name. Give me a name.

148
00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:15,043
- Carly. She's the captain.
- Hey, Carly.

149
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:18,797
Yeah, I know, it's the most beautiful
name you've ever heard...

150
00:09:19,005 --> 00:09:20,590
...my eyes look like forever...

151
00:09:20,757 --> 00:09:23,885
...and you love every bone in my body,
especially yours.

152
00:09:24,052 --> 00:09:25,970
No, but that's good.
Mind if I use it?

153
00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:27,389
No, no. No lines.

154
00:09:27,555 --> 00:09:29,474
We wanted to wish you
luck at cheer camp.

155
00:09:29,641 --> 00:09:32,894
Sure, you do. I know your game.
No girl left unturned.

156
00:09:33,353 --> 00:09:34,729
- What?
- How dare you?

157
00:09:34,896 --> 00:09:37,482
No. We just see how hard
you ladies cheer out there...

158
00:09:37,649 --> 00:09:39,526
...and we really hope
that you do good.

159
00:09:39,692 --> 00:09:43,696
Yeah, do us proud, you know. Beat
the skirts off those 300 other girls.

160
00:09:43,863 --> 00:09:46,908
And guys? Are there guys there?
Do guys go?

161
00:09:47,075 --> 00:09:49,369
- What about guys?
- It's a good question.

162
00:09:49,536 --> 00:09:52,080
There's girls and guys that go.
I don't know if guys...

163
00:09:52,247 --> 00:09:54,165
Yes. The good teams are all co-ed.

164
00:09:54,374 --> 00:09:57,752
That's interesting. I just didn't
know that. I was just pondering.

165
00:09:57,919 --> 00:10:01,214
Carly, come here. We're working on
a new mount Bianca came up with.

166
00:10:01,381 --> 00:10:03,425
- Yeah!
- Coming.

167
00:10:03,842 --> 00:10:07,595
I'm gonna walk away backwards,
So you guys don't talk about my ass.

168
00:10:07,762 --> 00:10:10,598
Man, she's got nice lumps.
Either one of us ever hit that?

169
00:10:10,765 --> 00:10:13,435
I don't think so. I think
she respects herself too much.

170
00:10:13,601 --> 00:10:14,727
Right.

171
00:10:14,894 --> 00:10:16,646
Who wants to deal with that drama?

172
00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:19,649
So, what do you think
about cheer camp?

173
00:10:19,816 --> 00:10:22,026
- What do you mean, what do I think?
- Let's go.

174
00:10:22,193 --> 00:10:25,071
- We're not cheerleaders.
- We're athletes, we can do anything.

175
00:10:25,238 --> 00:10:28,158
They don't just let anybody go.
You've gotta be part of a squad.

176
00:10:28,324 --> 00:10:30,201
Let's join a squad.
How hard can this be?

177
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,870
A couple of flips, a pyramid.

178
00:10:32,036 --> 00:10:33,455
Rah, rah, black sheep

179
00:10:33,621 --> 00:10:35,373
Three hundred honeys
on our biscuits.

180
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:38,501
- What about football camp?
- Screw football.

181
00:10:38,668 --> 00:10:41,546
The only reason we started playing
was to pull chicks.

182
00:10:41,713 --> 00:10:45,091
You can't honestly tell me you enjoy
running in blazing hot pads...

183
00:10:45,258 --> 00:10:48,636
...trying to catch a pass two seconds
before some 2000-pound mongoloid...

184
00:10:48,803 --> 00:10:52,015
- ...crashes into your Nutter Butters.
- El Paso, here we come.

185
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:54,559
Not if it comes to us first!

186
00:10:55,477 --> 00:10:56,978
Oh, shit.

187
00:10:57,145 --> 00:10:58,563
- I'm on fire.
- Mookie!

188
00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:01,774
- Water, water, water.
- I'll put you out.

189
00:11:01,941 --> 00:11:03,359
I'm a hero.

190
00:11:04,027 --> 00:11:06,362
Screw football. Let's go cheer.

191
00:11:06,863 --> 00:11:08,615
Shawny Shawn!

192
00:11:10,158 --> 00:11:12,160
We need to convince
the squad they need us.

193
00:11:12,327 --> 00:11:14,662
- Not gonna be easy.
- That's why we go to Poppy.

194
00:11:14,829 --> 00:11:16,831
- I wish there was another way.
- There's not.

195
00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:19,375
- But I wish there was.
- But there's not. We're here.

196
00:11:19,542 --> 00:11:22,003
- I wish we weren't.
- But we are.

197
00:11:23,713 --> 00:11:25,507
Hi, sis.

198
00:11:25,742 --> 00:11:27,577
Why am I looking at you? Speak.

199
00:11:27,744 --> 00:11:29,996
Poppy, you're getting so big now.
How old are you?

200
00:11:30,163 --> 00:11:32,749
I'm 60. Can we get past
the small talk?

201
00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:36,461
The only time you come to see me
is when you need something.

202
00:11:36,628 --> 00:11:38,421
What? Skin mags?

203
00:11:38,588 --> 00:11:40,382
Mike's Hard Lemonade?

204
00:11:40,757 --> 00:11:43,134
- Another ride to the clinic?
- Poppy.

205
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:48,682
No. We wanna go to that
cheerleading camp you're going to.

206
00:11:48,848 --> 00:11:52,269
Since you're killing on the JV squad
and so advanced beyond your years...

207
00:11:52,435 --> 00:11:54,229
...we thought you'd get us
up to speed.

208
00:11:54,396 --> 00:11:56,398
Hey, buddy,
you can winky-tink on my face...

209
00:11:56,565 --> 00:11:58,275
...just don't tell me it's raining.

210
00:11:59,693 --> 00:12:02,279
You guys have been through
every girl at your school...

211
00:12:02,445 --> 00:12:04,281
...and you're looking
for fresh produce.

212
00:12:04,447 --> 00:12:07,617
Some itchy-itchy-nah-nah.
Wall-to-wall carpet.

213
00:12:07,784 --> 00:12:09,869
Okay, seriously, how old are you?

214
00:12:10,144 --> 00:12:13,189
Tell you what, I'll teach you
some basic cheerleader moves.

215
00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:15,566
High V's, low V's,
touchdown, baskets.

216
00:12:15,733 --> 00:12:18,695
Don't the guys just throw
the girls up and then catch them?

217
00:12:18,861 --> 00:12:22,490
Pretty much. But I'll let you practise
on me and tell you what they're called.

218
00:12:22,657 --> 00:12:24,701
In exchange, I get Shawn's room.

219
00:12:24,867 --> 00:12:26,035
- No.
- Done.

220
00:12:26,202 --> 00:12:27,578
Those are my terms.

221
00:12:27,745 --> 00:12:29,914
- We'll take them.
- Dude, I've got my own bathroom.

222
00:12:30,164 --> 00:12:33,042
Dude, after cheer camp, you won't
even need your own bathroom.

223
00:12:33,209 --> 00:12:34,836
What? What does that even mean?

224
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:37,714
Poppy, you got yourself a deal.
Teach us, we go see Carly.

225
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,799
- Wrong, Gossip Girl.
- What?

226
00:12:39,966 --> 00:12:42,885
Carly's not one of your humpety-hump
football groupies.

227
00:12:43,052 --> 00:12:46,139
She's too smart to buy that you guys
wanna be cheerleaders.

228
00:12:46,306 --> 00:12:47,682
Okay, so, what's the play?

229
00:12:55,481 --> 00:12:58,318
- Here she comes, here she comes.
- Go, go. Get up there.

230
00:12:58,901 --> 00:13:00,236
Oh, rats.

231
00:13:00,403 --> 00:13:03,072
- We got our Frisbee stuck.
- How are we gonna get it down?

232
00:13:03,239 --> 00:13:05,283
- Go space shuttle.
- That's what I'm thinking.

233
00:13:05,491 --> 00:13:06,743
Good idea.

234
00:13:06,909 --> 00:13:08,745
- Ready?
- Okay.

235
00:13:08,911 --> 00:13:14,834
One, two, three, four, five, six
Seven, grab, drop, catch

236
00:13:17,003 --> 00:13:18,588
- Great job.
- Go, buddy.

237
00:13:18,755 --> 00:13:20,631
Do they always get
so excited like that?

238
00:13:20,798 --> 00:13:23,384
Haven't you ever seen them
do their touchdown dances?

239
00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:27,680
I mean, they flip all over the place.
You'd think they were cheerleaders.

240
00:13:27,847 --> 00:13:29,807
- No.
- You guys really like cheering?

241
00:13:29,974 --> 00:13:31,934
That wasn't cheering,
just goofing around.

242
00:13:32,101 --> 00:13:34,103
You nailed a backward sponge
and go cradle.

243
00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:36,814
No. We threw my sister up in the air
to get our Frisbee.

244
00:13:36,981 --> 00:13:39,108
It was either that
or we get three ladders.

245
00:13:39,275 --> 00:13:40,276
Come on, guys.

246
00:13:40,443 --> 00:13:44,906
You love cheering. Don't run from it.
This is a safe place.

247
00:13:46,366 --> 00:13:48,951
We kind of do. It's so much
more athletic than football.

248
00:13:49,118 --> 00:13:52,205
If it were up to us, we'd go
with you ladies to cheer camp.

249
00:13:52,372 --> 00:13:54,123
But we're football meatheads.

250
00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:56,834
We gotta march in lockstep
to what society expects.

251
00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:59,629
Don't tell anyone, okay?
Totally ruin our rep.

252
00:13:59,796 --> 00:14:01,798
- We'll catch you later.
- Have a good summer.

253
00:14:01,964 --> 00:14:03,966
We're gonna go watch
a Bears' game on TV.

254
00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:06,219
Go, Bears

255
00:14:18,564 --> 00:14:21,067
I'm supposed to believe
the biggest jocks in school...

256
00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:23,403
...all along really wanted
to be cheerleaders?

257
00:14:23,569 --> 00:14:26,781
Don't get caught up in the lockstep
of society's expectations.

258
00:14:26,948 --> 00:14:28,866
They tossed Poppy
like 20 feet in the air.

259
00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:31,327
Look, Carly,
we don't have any muscle.

260
00:14:31,494 --> 00:14:35,081
If you really wanna do better this year,
they're our only hope.

261
00:14:35,665 --> 00:14:38,501
Unless you guys wanna try steroids,
which I'm totally open to.

262
00:14:39,419 --> 00:14:42,797
- I'm just saying.
- I don't care. I don't trust those guys.

263
00:14:43,047 --> 00:14:45,341
They're not coming. I'm the captain.

264
00:14:45,508 --> 00:14:48,302
Miss Klingerhoff is the coach.
Let's see what she thinks.

265
00:14:50,847 --> 00:14:53,766
What a fantastic idea.

266
00:14:54,392 --> 00:14:58,187
It's exactly what this squad needs
to just push it over the top.

267
00:14:58,354 --> 00:15:00,857
But Miss Klingerhoff,
they have never done it before.

268
00:15:01,023 --> 00:15:05,987
They don't know any of our cheers,
and, come on, it's Nick and Shawn.

269
00:15:06,154 --> 00:15:08,114
Don't judge a book
by its cover, Carly.

270
00:15:08,322 --> 00:15:12,702
You never really know what a book
is about until you get to page 50.

271
00:15:12,869 --> 00:15:14,704
Fifty?

272
00:15:14,871 --> 00:15:18,541
- Wouldn't guess a page over 40.
- More like 35.

273
00:15:19,709 --> 00:15:20,710
My chickens.

274
00:15:21,961 --> 00:15:23,254
You come here, you.

275
00:15:28,551 --> 00:15:30,887
All right. One down, one to go.

276
00:15:31,053 --> 00:15:34,223
What are we gonna say to Coach
Shit-For-Words to get out of football?

277
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:37,393
What every kid says to get out
of everything he doesn't wanna do.

278
00:15:39,812 --> 00:15:42,440
So not only do I find out yesterday
I'm adopted...

279
00:15:42,607 --> 00:15:45,610
...the people I've called mom and
dad are infertile impostors...

280
00:15:45,776 --> 00:15:48,905
...who bought me outside a meth clinic
for two boxes of Sudafed...

281
00:15:49,071 --> 00:15:51,407
...but I also get
this news dropped on me:

282
00:15:51,741 --> 00:15:54,243
My birth father, Bruce...

283
00:15:54,911 --> 00:15:57,788
...well, he needs a kidney
and I'm the only match.

284
00:15:57,997 --> 00:16:00,082
And apparently Bruce needs it stat.

285
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,211
You need it stat, Bruce? Huh?

286
00:16:03,419 --> 00:16:06,130
I needed a father stat
instead of the stay-at-home dad...

287
00:16:06,297 --> 00:16:09,634
...who showers me with love every
day, this goddamn spermless liar!

288
00:16:11,093 --> 00:16:14,096
So now I gotta be at Kaiser
Permanente tomorrow at 6 a.m.

289
00:16:14,263 --> 00:16:17,683
I know. Bruce couldn't even afford
a real hospital.

290
00:16:17,892 --> 00:16:20,520
Managed care. It's ironic, huh?

291
00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:22,855
Never managed to care for me.

292
00:16:23,022 --> 00:16:24,941
You shitting me?

293
00:16:25,107 --> 00:16:27,193
Are you saying you can't go to camp?

294
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,612
Yeah, but don't make me say it,
coach.

295
00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:34,116
Because it's eating me up inside.
It's eating me up.

296
00:16:36,202 --> 00:16:37,578
Shit!

297
00:16:39,539 --> 00:16:41,999
- Cheer camp! Cheer camp!
- One, two.

298
00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:43,793
Cheer camp! One, two.

299
00:16:44,627 --> 00:16:47,171
You might have everyone else fooled,
but not me.

300
00:16:47,713 --> 00:16:49,924
Well, if being a fool
for cheering is wrong...

301
00:16:50,716 --> 00:16:52,301
...then I don't wanna be right.

302
00:16:52,468 --> 00:16:54,929
You might wanna dial back
your bullshit with her.

303
00:16:55,096 --> 00:16:56,389
She seems pretty with-it.

304
00:16:56,556 --> 00:16:58,766
That's a great note. Thanks.

305
00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:04,981
We're so psyched you're here.

306
00:17:05,147 --> 00:17:07,191
- Yeah, us too. Oh, yeah.
- Me too, yeah, yeah.

307
00:17:07,441 --> 00:17:08,526
Don't worry about Carly.

308
00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:10,736
- She's really into cheering.
- No worries.

309
00:17:10,903 --> 00:17:13,239
We are driving
We, we are driving

310
00:17:13,739 --> 00:17:16,993
We are driving
We, we are driving

311
00:17:17,159 --> 00:17:20,079
We like driving
We, we like driving

312
00:17:20,496 --> 00:17:23,916
We like driving
We, we like driving

313
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:27,253
-We are eating
-We, we are eating

314
00:17:27,461 --> 00:17:30,840
We are driving again
We are driving

315
00:17:31,007 --> 00:17:33,759
We are driving again
We are driving

316
00:17:33,926 --> 00:17:37,013
- How long does this go on for?
- The whole way.

317
00:17:37,179 --> 00:17:40,766
Just wait till their cycles match up.
You'll miss these days.

318
00:17:40,975 --> 00:17:42,852
We're gonna miss
Mookie's dad's house.

319
00:17:43,019 --> 00:17:45,605
Oh, buddy, we are not missing
Mookie's dad's house.

320
00:17:45,771 --> 00:17:47,565
Yeah.
This thing is three weeks long.

321
00:17:47,732 --> 00:17:51,861
Not for us, it isn't. We hook up
like maniacs, we bail in two.

322
00:17:53,362 --> 00:17:55,364
That's probably gonna piss
some people off.

323
00:17:55,531 --> 00:17:57,575
To make an omelette,
you gotta break some eggs.

324
00:17:57,742 --> 00:18:01,037
Grated cheese, slice some mushrooms,
salt, pepper, don't over-beat.

325
00:18:01,203 --> 00:18:03,205
We are driving again
We are driving

326
00:18:03,998 --> 00:18:07,209
We are driving again
We are driving

327
00:18:07,376 --> 00:18:09,545
We are driving again
We are driving

328
00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:10,838
Sorry.

329
00:18:11,005 --> 00:18:14,967
I should say so, handsy.
At least buy me dinner first.

330
00:18:15,134 --> 00:18:16,677
Very funny.

331
00:18:19,513 --> 00:18:22,099
All right, now you're just
taking advantage of me.

332
00:18:25,811 --> 00:18:28,564
We are here
We, we are here

333
00:18:30,816 --> 00:18:32,234
I think we made a big mistake.

334
00:18:32,401 --> 00:18:34,403
We may have screwed the pooch
on this one.

335
00:18:35,237 --> 00:18:37,740
Or maybe the pooch
IS gonna screw us.

336
00:18:37,907 --> 00:18:40,409
Sweet Mary in a D-cup.

337
00:19:24,161 --> 00:19:26,956
I think our bus crashed
and we're in heaven.

338
00:19:27,373 --> 00:19:29,208
No. We would've heard:

339
00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:33,087
"We are crashing
We, we are crashing"

340
00:19:33,963 --> 00:19:36,215
Let's go see how warm the water is.

341
00:19:36,382 --> 00:19:39,051
- Hi. Do I know you?
- I don't think so.

342
00:19:39,218 --> 00:19:42,722
Well, I'm Nick. I'm new this year.
Maybe you could show me around.

343
00:19:42,888 --> 00:19:45,307
- Who's this?
- Nick. He's new this year.

344
00:19:45,474 --> 00:19:47,685
This is Shawn, also new,
needs showing around.

345
00:19:47,852 --> 00:19:50,312
- If it's not too much trouble.
- You gotta check in.

346
00:19:50,479 --> 00:19:51,564
Okay, coming.

347
00:19:51,731 --> 00:19:54,316
It was very nice meeting you.
Hope we see you around.

348
00:19:54,483 --> 00:19:57,903
I'll put a bookmark between you.
That way we know where we left off.

349
00:20:03,117 --> 00:20:04,827
Hi. What squad are you on?

350
00:20:09,123 --> 00:20:12,877
Diora. I believe that's Italiano
for "beautiful princess."

351
00:20:13,127 --> 00:20:14,336
- No.
- Well, it should be.

352
00:20:14,503 --> 00:20:17,214
- I'm calling the dictionary people.
- What squad are you on?

353
00:20:17,381 --> 00:20:18,841
The Tigers, Gerald R. Ford High.

354
00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:21,802
Below-average president,
above-average student body.

355
00:20:21,969 --> 00:20:24,180
So, what are you doing later?

356
00:20:24,346 --> 00:20:25,765
Not you.

357
00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:28,100
What about accents?
You like Aussies?

358
00:20:28,267 --> 00:20:29,685
You wanna wear my leather hat?

359
00:20:30,394 --> 00:20:34,190
Mascots, I'll be checking you in
in 10 minutes at the mascot table.

360
00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:38,027
- Why are you still here?
- You like canopy beds?

361
00:20:40,446 --> 00:20:43,574
The last bus from Bitchville
just pulled in.

362
00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:48,537
- Who's that?
- The Panthers.

363
00:20:48,704 --> 00:20:51,791
They always come in first
and they don't let anyone forget it.

364
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:58,255
You guys came back.
I think that's so brave.

365
00:20:58,547 --> 00:21:00,966
I just hope one day
there's a special cheer camp...

366
00:21:01,175 --> 00:21:03,969
...where squads like yours
really have a shot.

367
00:21:04,247 --> 00:21:05,289
- Shut up.
- Truth hurts.

368
00:21:05,456 --> 00:21:07,959
- Your face is gonna hurt.
- Does your face hurt...

369
00:21:08,126 --> 00:21:11,421
- ...when you stuff it with pie?
- You wish you had my body image.

370
00:21:11,587 --> 00:21:14,549
I'm healthy. Unlike you, Skeletor.

371
00:21:15,049 --> 00:21:16,968
We're a different team this year,
Gwyneth.

372
00:21:17,135 --> 00:21:19,721
Meet our new squad members.

373
00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:21,180
I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

374
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:22,890
Hi. Great to meet you.

375
00:21:23,307 --> 00:21:27,895
So you got a little sausage
in your soup this year. BFD.

376
00:21:28,146 --> 00:21:30,940
- See you on the cheer field.
- It's that big chunk of grass...

377
00:21:31,107 --> 00:21:32,734
...you come in last on, every year.

378
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:34,694
Panthers out.

379
00:21:43,494 --> 00:21:44,829
Panthers out?

380
00:21:44,996 --> 00:21:46,581
What are they, a knife gang?

381
00:21:46,789 --> 00:21:49,667
- God, I hate them.
- I think they're kind of cool.

382
00:21:51,002 --> 00:21:52,587
I'm just saying.

383
00:22:01,804 --> 00:22:04,682
Hey. I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

384
00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:06,684
I'm Brewster.

385
00:22:07,852 --> 00:22:08,936
Not my real name.

386
00:22:09,103 --> 00:22:10,730
My parents named me Jack.

387
00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:15,401
Jack, so strong, so masculine.
We get it. You wanted a boy.

388
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:19,363
My name's Jack. I punch bad guys,
and I kiss girls.

389
00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:21,407
- Save it.
- Okay.

390
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:26,037
Now, just a quick FY informacion,
I'm kind of a neat freak...

391
00:22:26,203 --> 00:22:31,208
<i>...50 we'll get along great if you
just keep your area clean.</i>

392
00:22:31,375 --> 00:22:32,543
And by "area," you mean?

393
00:22:32,710 --> 00:22:34,670
- Your bunks.
- Okay.

394
00:22:34,837 --> 00:22:37,214
I can't stand clutter.
That's why we left Calcutta.

395
00:22:37,381 --> 00:22:40,217
Well, that and my dad
took a job with United Airlines.

396
00:22:40,384 --> 00:22:42,803
Your jobs aren't just
going over there, sailor.

397
00:22:42,970 --> 00:22:46,891
Some of us are coming over here.
The world is flat like a son of a bitch.

398
00:22:47,058 --> 00:22:49,352
You're giving us a lot to process here.

399
00:22:50,895 --> 00:22:52,772
Hey, what's up, guys? I'm Adam.

400
00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:55,232
What's up, man?
Hey, I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

401
00:22:56,192 --> 00:22:57,234
Well, welcome, welcome.

402
00:22:57,401 --> 00:22:59,904
- Is that your girlfriend?
- Yeah.

403
00:23:00,571 --> 00:23:03,240
That's Jody. We've been cheering
together since we were 5.

404
00:23:04,408 --> 00:23:05,660
So you take this seriously?

405
00:23:05,826 --> 00:23:09,246
I wanna be the first in my family
to go to college on a cheer scholarship.

406
00:23:09,413 --> 00:23:11,791
Good luck, man.
I hope you break the cycle.

407
00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:13,125
- Thanks, man.
- Cool.

408
00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:14,335
What's up, Eagle?

409
00:23:15,753 --> 00:23:18,172
Mascots don't talk. They just gesture.

410
00:23:18,339 --> 00:23:21,384
- Even in their bunks?
- The whole time, baby girl.

411
00:23:22,093 --> 00:23:23,469
It's total immersion.

412
00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:25,680
Hey. Can someone
help me with my stuff?

413
00:23:25,888 --> 00:23:29,183
I got a huge bag of footballs,
beer, Xbox games.

414
00:23:29,350 --> 00:23:30,685
Let's get this party started.

415
00:23:30,893 --> 00:23:33,270
Finally, a kindred spirit.
I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

416
00:23:33,437 --> 00:23:35,481
- I'm Downey.
- What's up? Nice to meet you.

417
00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:38,776
Downey. Downey. All right,
so break it down for us.

418
00:23:38,943 --> 00:23:40,861
How great is this place?

419
00:23:41,028 --> 00:23:43,364
- It's sick, dude.
- Sweet. Right there.

420
00:23:43,531 --> 00:23:46,867
The coaches are amazing. Your
cheering's gonna be off the charts.

421
00:23:47,034 --> 00:23:50,121
My cheering's gonna be off the charts.
I guess that's a good thing.

422
00:23:50,287 --> 00:23:52,540
What about the ladies?
Tell me about the ladies.

423
00:23:52,707 --> 00:23:54,834
Oh, yeah, totally.

424
00:23:56,794 --> 00:23:59,213
Their cheering gets better too.
They see real progress.

425
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:02,883
What the...?

426
00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:12,142
Wow, look at them all, dude. In rows.
It's like the hot-chick produce aisle.

427
00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:13,727
I don't know where to start.

428
00:24:13,894 --> 00:24:16,521
Do we go from tall to short
or blond to redhead?

429
00:24:16,688 --> 00:24:18,732
Maybe just iPod-shuffle mode.

430
00:24:18,899 --> 00:24:22,152
This is why I'd never wanna
be president. Too many decisions.

431
00:24:22,319 --> 00:24:24,488
Don't worry,
I don't think that's in the cards.

432
00:24:24,655 --> 00:24:28,659
You say that now, but George W.
was a cheerleader at Yale.

433
00:24:28,825 --> 00:24:30,535
He never thought
he'd be president...

434
00:24:30,702 --> 00:24:33,997
...snorting coke through his skull and
bones at a New Haven titty bar.

435
00:24:34,164 --> 00:24:35,832
You just never know, Shawnzy.

436
00:24:35,999 --> 00:24:39,461
And that is what makes America great.
Any idiot can be president.

437
00:24:39,628 --> 00:24:41,088
- Let's hear some noise over here!
- Noise over here!

438
00:24:42,821 --> 00:24:45,365
- Let's hear some noise over here!
- Noise over here!

439
00:24:45,532 --> 00:24:47,909
- Are you fired up?
- We're fired up!

440
00:24:48,076 --> 00:24:50,412
- Are you fired up?
- We're fired up!

441
00:24:50,579 --> 00:24:52,414
- How do you spell "fired up"?
- F-U!

442
00:24:52,581 --> 00:24:53,915
Not really.

443
00:24:54,082 --> 00:24:56,209
- How do you spell "fired up"?
- F-U!

444
00:24:56,376 --> 00:24:58,295
- What's that spell?
- Fired up!

445
00:24:58,503 --> 00:25:00,047
- Not really that way either.
- Nope.

446
00:25:00,213 --> 00:25:03,550
Damn straight. F-U.
You're at university now.

447
00:25:03,717 --> 00:25:05,427
- Fired Up University.
- This is awesome.

448
00:25:05,636 --> 00:25:08,930
Cheer college, my friends. None
of this high school stuff for you.

449
00:25:09,097 --> 00:25:12,934
You got three weeks. We're gonna
take it right to the top to F-U.

450
00:25:13,101 --> 00:25:15,228
- F-U!
- F-U!

451
00:25:17,439 --> 00:25:20,651
Howdy do? My name is Coach Keith.
I'm the skipper of this spirit ship.

452
00:25:20,817 --> 00:25:24,446
As many of you know, I was
the very first male cheerleader ever...

453
00:25:24,613 --> 00:25:26,615
...to compete at the Nationals.

454
00:25:26,782 --> 00:25:28,659
I was born cheering.

455
00:25:28,825 --> 00:25:31,411
My mother swears
the first thing out of her what's-it...

456
00:25:31,578 --> 00:25:34,289
...was a little pair of baby hands
doing spirit fingers.

457
00:25:37,584 --> 00:25:39,670
That's a joke, but it really happened.

458
00:25:40,754 --> 00:25:42,714
It is now my absolute pleasure...

459
00:25:42,881 --> 00:25:44,966
...to introduce to you
your head counsellor...

460
00:25:45,133 --> 00:25:49,554
...and my super-sexy handsome wife,
Diora. Let's bring her out here.

461
00:25:55,142 --> 00:25:57,478
- What? Did he say wife?
- No, he couldn't have.

462
00:25:57,645 --> 00:25:58,646
Welcome, everyone.

463
00:25:58,855 --> 00:26:02,400
For the next three weeks, you'll train
with me and the other coaches...

464
00:26:02,567 --> 00:26:04,443
...and then compete in a tournament...

465
00:26:04,610 --> 00:26:07,989
...with the top teams going on
to the State Finals.

466
00:26:10,324 --> 00:26:13,494
So that would be the Panthers
and two other teams.

467
00:26:15,538 --> 00:26:17,999
- Oh, me, me, me.
- Yes, ma'am, right here.

468
00:26:18,165 --> 00:26:21,752
I heard that there was this really hard
move called the Fountain of Troy...

469
00:26:21,919 --> 00:26:23,671
...that some team did at the Worlds.

470
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,047
Are we gonna learn that?

471
00:26:25,214 --> 00:26:28,175
Sure, I'll teach you
how to do the Fountain of Troy.

472
00:26:29,343 --> 00:26:32,346
Then I'll teach you
to put makeup on a bear!

473
00:26:32,889 --> 00:26:34,557
Absolutely not.

474
00:26:34,724 --> 00:26:38,394
Not only is that move nearly impossible
to execute, it's extremely dangerous.

475
00:26:38,603 --> 00:26:40,354
That move is prohibidado.

476
00:26:40,605 --> 00:26:42,648
- Prohibi-what?
- Prohibidado.

477
00:26:42,815 --> 00:26:47,486
And I say that in Spanish because
that's how exotic and not-allowed it is.

478
00:26:47,653 --> 00:26:50,406
You can't even say "Fountain of Troy"
at this cheer camp.

479
00:26:50,573 --> 00:26:52,992
- Go ahead and say it.
- Fountain of Tr...!

480
00:26:53,159 --> 00:26:55,786
Stop it. What are you doing?
This isn't a game.

481
00:26:55,953 --> 00:26:57,538
I'm not playing around up here.

482
00:26:57,705 --> 00:26:58,873
Honey.

483
00:27:00,333 --> 00:27:02,543
It's just a joke.
First week of cheer camp.

484
00:27:03,044 --> 00:27:04,086
Lighten things up.

485
00:27:04,253 --> 00:27:06,839
Have a good time.
Everybody say it, "Fountain of Troy."

486
00:27:07,006 --> 00:27:10,051
- Fountain of Tr...!
- Oh, my dear Lord! Oh, gosh, shut up!

487
00:27:10,217 --> 00:27:12,053
He's lost his mind.

488
00:27:12,219 --> 00:27:15,389
Stop it! Nobody does the
Fountain of Troy at this cheer camp.

489
00:27:15,556 --> 00:27:18,225
Now, let's all hit the bunks
and get a good night's sleep.

490
00:27:18,392 --> 00:27:19,560
Welcome to cheer camp.

491
00:27:31,807 --> 00:27:32,808
Hi.

492
00:27:34,643 --> 00:27:37,688
Dibs, dibs. Dibs on the blond
with the butterfly tattoo.

493
00:27:37,855 --> 00:27:39,982
Dibs on that. I'd like that.
Tell me who it is.

494
00:27:40,149 --> 00:27:42,276
- This is Lanie Brown.
- Lanie Brown.

495
00:27:42,443 --> 00:27:45,654
She likes skiing, hip-hop, and playing
with her cat, Sir Pembleton.

496
00:27:45,821 --> 00:27:48,240
- Sir Pembleton? You serious?
- I know, I'm not kidding.

497
00:27:48,449 --> 00:27:50,659
I'm gonna write her name
in my book in no time.

498
00:27:50,826 --> 00:27:52,745
Can't believe you document
your conquests.

499
00:27:52,912 --> 00:27:55,164
Family owns a payroll company.
Love records.

500
00:27:55,331 --> 00:27:57,333
- It's just weird.
- Tell it to our dog, FICA.

501
00:27:57,499 --> 00:27:58,667
Oh, hey, Carly.

502
00:27:58,834 --> 00:28:00,169
What's up, Tigers?

503
00:28:00,544 --> 00:28:02,171
- Hey.
- Going to take a shower?

504
00:28:02,338 --> 00:28:04,882
Yeah. I had my hand
in some kid's mouth this morning.

505
00:28:05,132 --> 00:28:07,760
Good idea. I know where it's been.

506
00:28:07,927 --> 00:28:10,763
And if I don't get some
flesh-eating virus from that...

507
00:28:10,930 --> 00:28:13,182
...I probably will
after I take a shower barefoot.

508
00:28:13,390 --> 00:28:16,018
- I forgot to pack my flip-flops.
- Sucks! See you later.

509
00:28:16,185 --> 00:28:17,811
Oh, here. Take mine.

510
00:28:19,688 --> 00:28:21,523
- I brought two pair.
- Really?

511
00:28:21,690 --> 00:28:24,276
Yeah. No problem.
We're teammates.

512
00:28:24,860 --> 00:28:25,903
Thanks.

513
00:28:29,281 --> 00:28:31,533
- Bye.
- See you later.

514
00:28:32,534 --> 00:28:36,413
Bro, what did I tell you? No hooking
up with girls from our school.

515
00:28:36,580 --> 00:28:38,707
- I was just being nice.
- I don't care, man.

516
00:28:38,874 --> 00:28:40,209
You know where nice leads.

517
00:28:40,376 --> 00:28:42,503
Do not poop where you eat,
remember?

518
00:28:42,711 --> 00:28:46,840
That's why there are no
restaurants called The Bathroom.

519
00:28:47,424 --> 00:28:49,677
There are bathrooms at restaurants.

520
00:28:50,219 --> 00:28:51,804
I was using a metaphor, Shawn.

521
00:28:52,012 --> 00:28:55,849
It is crazy that people think
that you're the smart one.

522
00:28:56,850 --> 00:28:58,435
What's up, ladies?

523
00:28:58,602 --> 00:28:59,895
Hi.

524
00:29:00,062 --> 00:29:03,148
You wanna borrow some flip-flops?
All right, see you later.

525
00:29:08,153 --> 00:29:11,073
Welcome to day one, everybody.
Let's start with a warm-up run.

526
00:29:11,365 --> 00:29:15,077
God, she's such a fox. I guarantee
I'm gonna tap that before we leave.

527
00:29:15,536 --> 00:29:18,080
Dude, she's married,
and like 30 years old.

528
00:29:18,247 --> 00:29:21,417
That's just how I like them:
ancient and regretful.

529
00:29:21,583 --> 00:29:23,711
Yeah. Take it easy on the Dove bars.

530
00:29:23,877 --> 00:29:24,795
- Ready, Shawnzy?
- Sure am, Nicholai.

531
00:29:25,879 --> 00:29:26,963
New guys, move them.

532
00:29:31,176 --> 00:29:33,803
I always knew there was
something else I should be doing.

533
00:29:33,970 --> 00:29:36,473
You know,
like there was something more.

534
00:29:37,432 --> 00:29:39,309
Something more inside me.

535
00:29:39,476 --> 00:29:42,562
I guess you could say
I had a cheer waiting to get out.

536
00:29:44,272 --> 00:29:47,275
And now, well, I live to cheer.

537
00:29:48,568 --> 00:29:51,571
And I cheer to live.

538
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,079
I looked that little kitten
in the eyes...

539
00:29:59,245 --> 00:30:00,955
...and I knew I had to take her home.

540
00:30:01,122 --> 00:30:05,543
And now, Sniffles,
that's who I tell my secrets to.

541
00:30:05,710 --> 00:30:07,629
My grandmother was a cheerleader.

542
00:30:07,796 --> 00:30:09,923
It was what she loved most
in the world.

543
00:30:10,298 --> 00:30:15,387
So when she died, I just
picked up the family pom-poms.

544
00:30:15,553 --> 00:30:18,848
This is weird.
I don't usually open up like this.

545
00:30:19,015 --> 00:30:22,685
It's weird.
I don't usually open up like this.

546
00:30:48,294 --> 00:30:50,213
Tigers!

547
00:31:13,194 --> 00:31:14,320
Tigers!

548
00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:31,045
Tigers can't be beat
Get up on your feet

549
00:31:31,212 --> 00:31:32,839
Tigers can't be beat

550
00:31:33,006 --> 00:31:35,884
Is it my imagination, or do they
not completely, totally suck?

551
00:31:36,050 --> 00:31:37,844
It's your imagination.

552
00:31:38,011 --> 00:31:39,888
Now go imagine me
a bottle of water.

553
00:31:40,763 --> 00:31:42,390
Tigers!

554
00:31:50,565 --> 00:31:53,568
The French say a day moon brings
good luck to whoever sees it.

555
00:31:53,735 --> 00:31:55,737
They also say 8-year-olds
should drink wine.

556
00:31:55,903 --> 00:31:59,574
And if it's a crescent moon,
it'll bring good luck for a week.

557
00:32:00,533 --> 00:32:01,909
What is it now?

558
00:32:02,076 --> 00:32:05,830
I'm jogging with the captain of the best
squad, so I'd say it's pretty crescent.

559
00:32:05,997 --> 00:32:07,749
- Race you.
- Cheering isn't a race.

560
00:32:07,915 --> 00:32:10,877
- This isn't football.
- There's a competition at the end.

561
00:32:11,044 --> 00:32:13,087
Yeah, you're right.
On your mark, get set...

562
00:32:14,380 --> 00:32:16,757
Oh, she cheats. I like it.

563
00:32:16,924 --> 00:32:18,092
Zucchini?

564
00:32:18,926 --> 00:32:21,804
Leafy greens? Kale? Jicama?

565
00:32:22,012 --> 00:32:23,055
And sprouts?

566
00:32:23,222 --> 00:32:25,558
That's the only thing
that sucks about cheer camp.

567
00:32:25,766 --> 00:32:27,560
The sacrifices
I make for the ladies.

568
00:32:27,726 --> 00:32:30,646
Remember when I pretended to
be into Nickelback for that chick?

569
00:32:30,813 --> 00:32:33,774
- God, they suck.
- So did she. Up top.

570
00:32:33,941 --> 00:32:37,611
Dude, I am not gonna high five you
for something you got a year ago.

571
00:32:38,070 --> 00:32:39,738
That doesn't count. No.

572
00:32:40,906 --> 00:32:42,283
- Poppy.
- Hi, sis.

573
00:32:42,449 --> 00:32:44,118
Guys looking to go off-menu?

574
00:32:44,285 --> 00:32:47,413
I got Kit Kats, Snickers,
and German sweet tarts.

575
00:32:48,038 --> 00:32:49,957
Wipes out the taste
of every other candy.

576
00:32:52,418 --> 00:32:54,253
I'll take everything you got.

577
00:32:54,587 --> 00:32:57,631
Not here, Shawshank.
The screws are watching.

578
00:32:57,798 --> 00:33:00,634
Put it in the sycamore tree
out back.

579
00:33:01,385 --> 00:33:03,762
- Where's our candy gonna be?
- Check your pockets.

580
00:33:08,309 --> 00:33:11,103
I know. She's got the shine.

581
00:33:16,191 --> 00:33:18,444
Oh, my God, this is so good.

582
00:33:19,278 --> 00:33:20,321
Yeah, it is.

583
00:33:22,156 --> 00:33:23,157
Diora!

584
00:33:26,702 --> 00:33:28,287
Diora!

585
00:33:29,622 --> 00:33:30,664
God, it is you.

586
00:33:30,831 --> 00:33:32,708
The way the moonlight
caught your cheek...

587
00:33:32,875 --> 00:33:35,210
...for a second there,
I thought you were an angel.

588
00:33:35,377 --> 00:33:37,379
Nope, just the head
counsellor who decides...

589
00:33:37,546 --> 00:33:39,965
...whether or not to make you
run laps all tomorrow.

590
00:33:41,508 --> 00:33:43,385
God, I love it, huh?

591
00:33:43,594 --> 00:33:46,722
A little back and forth, witty repartee,
Hepburn and Tracy.

592
00:33:46,889 --> 00:33:48,891
I'm not 16, kiddo.
Run along and play.

593
00:33:49,141 --> 00:33:51,352
Still with the witty repartee,
that's terrific.

594
00:33:51,518 --> 00:33:54,939
- You win this round, Miss Tracy.
- Hepburn was the girl.

595
00:33:55,105 --> 00:33:56,899
Ding, ding. Knockout.

596
00:34:00,693 --> 00:34:03,154
It shouldn't be this hard,
she's like 100 years old.

597
00:34:03,530 --> 00:34:07,158
- Shawn. Got a second?
- Yeah. Sure.

598
00:34:08,243 --> 00:34:10,870
Some of the girls have been
talking about you and Nick.

599
00:34:11,037 --> 00:34:13,123
Don't believe anything anyone says.

600
00:34:13,289 --> 00:34:16,709
They've been saying they think this is
the best the team has ever been.

601
00:34:17,252 --> 00:34:19,129
Well, that you can believe.

602
00:34:19,295 --> 00:34:22,048
I just wanted to say thanks.

603
00:34:22,382 --> 00:34:24,551
You guys have been a big help.

604
00:34:25,343 --> 00:34:26,886
Especially you.

605
00:34:28,555 --> 00:34:29,889
Thanks.

606
00:34:30,056 --> 00:34:33,560
It's nice to know that when I get tossed,
you're gonna be there to catch me.

607
00:34:33,726 --> 00:34:35,645
I mean, not that Bianca wasn't good.

608
00:34:35,812 --> 00:34:39,566
It's just, I don't know. You feel right.

609
00:34:39,732 --> 00:34:41,860
I like it too.
You're like a home-run ball.

610
00:34:42,026 --> 00:34:45,864
Fifteen-inch brown trout.
A mild cold. Double feature.

611
00:34:46,030 --> 00:34:48,074
I get it. Things that you catch.
Shut up.

612
00:34:48,533 --> 00:34:49,742
I know at the beginning...

613
00:34:49,909 --> 00:34:52,662
...I may have been against
you two joining the squad...

614
00:34:52,829 --> 00:34:55,248
I believe you called us
"godless douche-monsters."

615
00:34:55,415 --> 00:34:57,208
It was "heartless boob-grabbers."

616
00:34:57,417 --> 00:35:00,211
Well, that's better.
I totally misunderstood you.

617
00:35:00,378 --> 00:35:01,754
I'm trying to apologise here.

618
00:35:01,921 --> 00:35:04,132
No need. And accepted.

619
00:35:08,052 --> 00:35:09,596
Hey.

620
00:35:10,555 --> 00:35:14,100
You'd think as a cheerleader
I would be a little more graceful.

621
00:35:15,101 --> 00:35:18,521
I like you clumsy.
It's like I'm looking behind the curtain.

622
00:35:20,982 --> 00:35:22,108
Babe.

623
00:35:23,943 --> 00:35:24,986
Rick.

624
00:35:26,154 --> 00:35:27,947
Rick.

625
00:35:30,158 --> 00:35:31,826
Who's the face-eater?

626
00:35:32,035 --> 00:35:33,745
Hey, guys, come meet my boyfriend.

627
00:35:35,371 --> 00:35:38,625
- What is with that car?
- Maybe he won an LPGA tournament.

628
00:35:45,965 --> 00:35:47,258
I missed you.

629
00:35:47,425 --> 00:35:49,594
Me too. Definitely.

630
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,637
Guys, this is my boyfriend.

631
00:35:51,804 --> 00:35:54,974
- Pre-fiancé, actually.
- These are the guys I told you about.

632
00:35:55,141 --> 00:35:57,977
- Nick and Shawn.
- What's up, guys? I'm Dr. Rick.

633
00:36:00,313 --> 00:36:01,355
Really?

634
00:36:02,982 --> 00:36:03,983
Pound?

635
00:36:04,150 --> 00:36:06,235
Aren't you a little young
to be a doctor?

636
00:36:06,402 --> 00:36:08,654
- He's pre-med.
- Then why call yourself "doctor"?

637
00:36:08,821 --> 00:36:10,281
Why put off the inevitable?

638
00:36:12,325 --> 00:36:14,327
You should get
that mole checked out.

639
00:36:14,493 --> 00:36:18,164
I'd do it myself,
but I don't have my bag on me.

640
00:36:18,998 --> 00:36:20,458
Your book bag?

641
00:36:20,625 --> 00:36:23,878
- How'd you two crazy kids meet, Rick?
- It's a funny story, actually.

642
00:36:24,086 --> 00:36:28,007
Our parents knew each other from
way back, and they introduced us.

643
00:36:31,844 --> 00:36:35,806
Not that funny a story. Not really
even a story. Just like a fact.

644
00:36:36,140 --> 00:36:38,309
We've been going out
since I was a sophomore.

645
00:36:38,517 --> 00:36:42,355
We should hit it, Carly. I told the guys
we'd be done dinner in 45.

646
00:36:42,605 --> 00:36:45,858
- The guys are with you?
- It was a long-ass drive, babe.

647
00:36:46,025 --> 00:36:49,153
You didn't want me falling asleep
at the wheel, did you?

648
00:36:49,386 --> 00:36:50,930
No, I'm glad you made it.

649
00:36:51,096 --> 00:36:54,433
Yeah, you're glad.
I got a rezzy at Red Lobster.

650
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,186
We've got a booth in the back
behind a plant...

651
00:36:57,353 --> 00:37:00,898
...So no one can see how much
we're all-you-can-eating.

652
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,609
If you know what I'm saying, boys.

653
00:37:05,277 --> 00:37:07,696
Okay. Oh, Shawn.
I have something for you.

654
00:37:13,285 --> 00:37:15,120
Sweet deal you kids
got going on here.

655
00:37:15,287 --> 00:37:17,039
Wish I could hang out,
play all summer.

656
00:37:17,456 --> 00:37:20,417
I'm just a little busy
picking my speciality.

657
00:37:20,584 --> 00:37:22,711
Speciality? You're a freshman.

658
00:37:22,878 --> 00:37:25,631
Your speciality should be putting a cow
in the dean's office.

659
00:37:25,798 --> 00:37:28,092
Animal House reference. Love it!

660
00:37:31,580 --> 00:37:34,166
My mom sent mine,
so I don't need yours anymore.

661
00:37:34,333 --> 00:37:36,043
- Thanks.
- Sure.

662
00:37:37,544 --> 00:37:42,049
And, chief. Next time, if my girl needs
something, she can borrow it from me.

663
00:37:42,382 --> 00:37:45,177
Rick, he was just being nice.

664
00:37:45,344 --> 00:37:47,888
Those feet look pretty small.
What are they, a seven?

665
00:37:48,055 --> 00:37:49,640
Ten and a half, papo.

666
00:37:50,557 --> 00:37:52,726
Eleven in Crocs.

667
00:38:00,943 --> 00:38:04,071
<i>What's the name of that girl
who was 57", blond hair, blue eyes?</i>

668
00:38:04,238 --> 00:38:06,406
She's like a dragon.
Reminds me of Christmas.

669
00:38:07,574 --> 00:38:11,119
It's Carols, Care-holes, Car...
Caroline. Caroline.

670
00:38:11,370 --> 00:38:13,330
I'm running out of ink.
You got a pen?

671
00:38:13,580 --> 00:38:14,915
Mopey, I'm talking to you here.

672
00:38:15,082 --> 00:38:17,793
You been sitting out here staring
into space for two hours.

673
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,754
- It's been five minutes.
- Really? That was five minutes?

674
00:38:20,921 --> 00:38:23,924
Guess I really do suck in bed.

675
00:38:24,424 --> 00:38:27,094
Get it? Like I think I'm Sting,
and in all reality...

676
00:38:27,261 --> 00:38:30,722
...I'm like Chad Michael Murray
douching it out in five minutes.

677
00:38:30,889 --> 00:38:32,266
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

678
00:38:32,432 --> 00:38:34,226
- Come on, tell me.
- It's nothing.

679
00:38:34,393 --> 00:38:35,519
- Tell me.
- It's nothing.

680
00:38:35,686 --> 00:38:38,897
Tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me...

681
00:38:39,064 --> 00:38:40,399
- Nick.
- Sorry.

682
00:38:41,108 --> 00:38:43,402
- Tell me?
- Carly's boyfriend's a real schwanz.

683
00:38:43,569 --> 00:38:46,113
Dude, you like her. I knew it.
I knew you liked her.

684
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:47,990
- So? It's no big deal.
- No big deal?

685
00:38:48,156 --> 00:38:50,450
She's on our squad.
You're gonna ruin everything.

686
00:38:50,617 --> 00:38:54,288
Why you gotta do this, huh? Why you
gotta take a leak all over my dreams?

687
00:38:54,454 --> 00:38:56,540
Why you lay a hot toddy
all over my hopes?

688
00:38:56,707 --> 00:38:59,251
- You're being a little dramatic.
- Well, I have never.

689
00:38:59,459 --> 00:39:01,837
What makes this girl so great, bro?

690
00:39:02,004 --> 00:39:05,090
Yeah. What makes this girl
so great, bro?

691
00:39:05,257 --> 00:39:06,842
There's just something about her.

692
00:39:07,009 --> 00:39:08,093
You know when she bumped into me
on the bus?

693
00:39:09,703 --> 00:39:14,708
Or when I saw her reading that book.
That she orders pudding for dessert.

694
00:39:14,875 --> 00:39:17,711
Okay, now you're just listing things
that people do.

695
00:39:17,878 --> 00:39:19,505
No, I'm not.

696
00:39:19,671 --> 00:39:22,966
- Sometimes she writes with a pencil.
- So much worse than I thought.

697
00:39:23,425 --> 00:39:24,760
You're really into this girl.

698
00:39:24,968 --> 00:39:26,303
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.

699
00:39:26,470 --> 00:39:28,514
Why is she with that knob-rocket?

700
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,558
Enough already. You're even
depressing me, and I'm a Virgo.

701
00:39:31,725 --> 00:39:33,894
We have got to cheer you up.

702
00:39:34,395 --> 00:39:36,480
I'm two steps ahead of you, my man.

703
00:39:36,647 --> 00:39:38,899
All right, gentlemen, saddle up.

704
00:39:40,484 --> 00:39:42,611
Listen, ladies,
I couldn't help but notice...

705
00:39:42,778 --> 00:39:45,072
...you were practising your lifts
on dry ground.

706
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:46,990
Well, where else
would we practise?

707
00:39:47,157 --> 00:39:50,619
The pond. That's where the top teams
do. Water resistance, better training.

708
00:39:50,786 --> 00:39:52,746
Why do you think octopuses
have skinny arms?

709
00:39:52,913 --> 00:39:54,456
That sounds like a good idea.

710
00:39:54,665 --> 00:39:57,501
We can't. Our swimsuits are
all the way back at the bunks.

711
00:39:58,460 --> 00:40:01,713
We could just go in our underwear.
I mean, that's all swimsuits are.

712
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,675
It's gonna be dark soon anyway,
SO no one would see us.

713
00:40:04,842 --> 00:40:08,595
I never thought about it like that,
but I guess you're right.

714
00:40:08,762 --> 00:40:11,265
Look at that. We're all here
thinking inside the box...

715
00:40:11,432 --> 00:40:13,725
...and you're outside
playing a game of "What If?"

716
00:40:13,892 --> 00:40:17,271
Gorgeous and brilliant.
The triple threat.

717
00:40:18,689 --> 00:40:21,150
And we're off. Gentlemen, ladies.

718
00:40:21,859 --> 00:40:24,778
Adam, you've done enough
working out. Let's go.

719
00:40:28,949 --> 00:40:30,325
Oh, there it is.

720
00:40:34,663 --> 00:40:35,998
I am so excited.

721
00:40:36,165 --> 00:40:38,959
I have not been skinny dipping
since Indian Scouts.

722
00:40:40,294 --> 00:40:41,879
Nobody look.

723
00:40:43,547 --> 00:40:44,590
Windmill.

724
00:40:44,756 --> 00:40:47,634
We're leaving our underwear on.
We talked about this, remember?

725
00:40:47,801 --> 00:40:49,470
You talked. I listened.

726
00:40:50,637 --> 00:40:55,017
Paint the fence. Cutting the cake.
Hangman's noose. Hangman's noose.

727
00:40:55,184 --> 00:40:56,810
Incoming.

728
00:41:06,487 --> 00:41:11,575
Misjudged the depth.
It's all good. Learn from me.

729
00:41:46,193 --> 00:41:47,486
This feels great.

730
00:41:47,653 --> 00:41:49,780
It's the water resistance.
It helps strengthen.

731
00:41:49,947 --> 00:41:52,032
It's twice the compound,
half the measure...

732
00:41:52,199 --> 00:41:56,036
- ...and if you equivalate that to...
- Nick. Enough of that.

733
00:41:56,203 --> 00:41:58,372
- Enough of what?
- Drop the game.

734
00:41:58,539 --> 00:42:02,042
There are 300 girls at this camp
and only four straight guys.

735
00:42:02,209 --> 00:42:05,212
It's no mystery why you're ripping
through the place. So come on.

736
00:42:08,340 --> 00:42:09,758
Tick tock.

737
00:42:11,552 --> 00:42:13,720
Oh, all right.

738
00:42:21,395 --> 00:42:22,896
You're next.

739
00:42:24,815 --> 00:42:26,066
Ladies.

740
00:42:33,490 --> 00:42:35,909
- Where are our clothes?
- We left them right here.

741
00:42:36,076 --> 00:42:39,079
I know. That's why I'm saying,
"Where are our clothes?"

742
00:42:39,313 --> 00:42:43,234
I'm blazing a trail. I'm blazing a trail.

743
00:42:43,401 --> 00:42:44,819
See you guys.

744
00:42:44,985 --> 00:42:47,154
- Okay, have a great Thanksgiving.
- What?

745
00:42:47,321 --> 00:42:48,406
I don't know, I'm cold.

746
00:42:51,909 --> 00:42:54,203
- I'm cold and I'm flailing.
- I know, I know.

747
00:42:54,370 --> 00:42:55,705
How are you not flailing?

748
00:42:55,871 --> 00:42:58,082
I'm flailing. I, too, am also flailing.

749
00:42:58,332 --> 00:43:01,377
- So how was she?
- How was who?

750
00:43:01,544 --> 00:43:04,171
- The blond you were making time with.
- I wasn't.

751
00:43:04,338 --> 00:43:07,550
We just talked. She's really nice.
Her grandmother's from Cincinnati.

752
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,885
She helped me on
my crossover basket launches.

753
00:43:10,052 --> 00:43:12,179
I can't believe how high
my extensions are.

754
00:43:12,346 --> 00:43:14,306
I don't know who you are anymore.

755
00:43:15,015 --> 00:43:17,017
Boys.

756
00:43:17,184 --> 00:43:19,353
What are you doing?
It's way past curfew.

757
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:20,688
We were just...

758
00:43:22,690 --> 00:43:24,483
practising.

759
00:43:25,526 --> 00:43:26,861
- Yeah.
- Al dente?

760
00:43:27,236 --> 00:43:30,698
Yeah. We like to do cheers in the nude
so that they really sink in.

761
00:43:30,865 --> 00:43:33,701
That way our bodies learn it
as well as our minds.

762
00:43:34,618 --> 00:43:37,288
That's very Alvin Ailey of you.
I like it.

763
00:43:37,455 --> 00:43:40,207
- Proceed.
- Proceed with what, running away?

764
00:43:40,374 --> 00:43:42,209
No, with the cheer, you goose.

765
00:43:42,376 --> 00:43:45,713
<i>Don't you wanna wait for
another coach? Or a witness?</i>

766
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,047
Five, six, seven, eight.

767
00:43:47,256 --> 00:43:48,466
- Ready?
- Okay.

768
00:43:48,632 --> 00:43:49,925
Hey, Tigers!

769
00:43:50,092 --> 00:43:51,427
- Yeah?
- Hey, Tigers!

770
00:43:51,594 --> 00:43:55,306
Yeah? What do we like to eat?
Panther meat

771
00:43:55,473 --> 00:43:57,057
I said, hey, Tigers!

772
00:43:57,224 --> 00:43:58,726
- Yeah?
- Hey, Tigers!

773
00:43:58,893 --> 00:44:02,354
Yeah? What do we like to do?
Defeat

774
00:44:02,855 --> 00:44:04,982
- Dude, your crankshaft.
- Two.

775
00:44:05,274 --> 00:44:07,943
Orange, black and white unite

776
00:44:08,110 --> 00:44:10,613
Tigers, Tigers, fight, fight, fight!

777
00:44:10,780 --> 00:44:12,490
Tailpipe.

778
00:44:14,533 --> 00:44:16,619
Your counts are off,
your spacing is insane...

779
00:44:16,786 --> 00:44:19,455
...and your moves sloppier
than a kiss from a midshipman.

780
00:44:19,663 --> 00:44:22,500
- What?
- Take it from the top. Positions.

781
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,335
Parallel positions!

782
00:44:24,502 --> 00:44:26,337
Five, six, seven, eight.

783
00:44:26,504 --> 00:44:29,757
Go bananas
Go, go bananas

784
00:44:29,924 --> 00:44:33,594
Go bananas
Go, go bananas

785
00:44:36,430 --> 00:44:38,432
You can put me down now.

786
00:44:38,599 --> 00:44:39,975
Oh, can I?

787
00:44:40,893 --> 00:44:42,144
You jerk.

788
00:44:42,853 --> 00:44:43,896
Jack-knocker.

789
00:44:44,063 --> 00:44:45,689
Oh, look.

790
00:44:45,856 --> 00:44:48,609
- What are they doing?
- It's the Fountain of Troy.

791
00:44:48,776 --> 00:44:50,778
I thought that move
was prohibidimabido.

792
00:44:53,614 --> 00:44:55,533
- My face!
- It's okay, it's okay.

793
00:44:55,699 --> 00:44:57,827
What'd I tell you about
that Fountain of Troy?

794
00:44:57,993 --> 00:44:59,620
Look, you broke her face.

795
00:44:59,787 --> 00:45:00,996
Almost in half.

796
00:45:01,247 --> 00:45:03,082
Where am I gonna get another one
of those this late in the day?

797
00:45:03,249 --> 00:45:05,125
Someone call a doctor!

798
00:45:05,292 --> 00:45:06,627
Damn, I wish Rick were here.

799
00:45:06,794 --> 00:45:09,713
Why, so he could ask someone
to call a doctor?

800
00:45:11,215 --> 00:45:13,300
Ever been to
a cheerleading competition?

801
00:45:13,467 --> 00:45:15,427
Oh, you mean like a football game?

802
00:45:15,594 --> 00:45:18,556
No, not a game.
Those are like practises for us.

803
00:45:18,722 --> 00:45:20,724
I'm talking about a tournament.

804
00:45:20,891 --> 00:45:24,770
ESPN cameras all around. Hundreds
of people in crowds cheering.

805
00:45:24,937 --> 00:45:27,731
Wait.
People cheering cheerleaders?

806
00:45:30,317 --> 00:45:32,361
You should be in the movies.

807
00:45:32,570 --> 00:45:35,823
You're hotter than all of these
cheerleaders rolled together.

808
00:45:36,657 --> 00:45:39,159
Cheerleaders rolled together.

809
00:45:41,704 --> 00:45:43,080
I gotta take a Louis Leakey.

810
00:45:43,247 --> 00:45:47,167
Listen, you, don't get any cuter
while I'm gone. I'm serious.

811
00:45:47,334 --> 00:45:50,588
And let me give you a little tip
from a cheerleader.

812
00:45:50,754 --> 00:45:54,258
Be aggressive
B-E aggressive

813
00:45:56,135 --> 00:45:59,346
Where's that Jesse Bradford boy?
I love him. No, seriously.

814
00:45:59,513 --> 00:46:01,223
Seriously. I love him.

815
00:46:04,602 --> 00:46:06,061
I gotta be honest with you, man.

816
00:46:06,228 --> 00:46:08,564
I don't think I'm into
all this hooking up anymore.

817
00:46:08,731 --> 00:46:11,400
- It feels wrong.
- Yeah, it's supposed to feel wrong.

818
00:46:11,567 --> 00:46:13,193
No, I mean, I feel guilty.

819
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,155
I don't know what you're saying.
Milty? Wilty?

820
00:46:16,322 --> 00:46:17,531
Something's not right.

821
00:46:17,698 --> 00:46:20,492
- Tilty?
- I've never felt this way before.

822
00:46:21,327 --> 00:46:22,369
Maquilty?

823
00:46:27,291 --> 00:46:28,959
Is that Dr. Rick?

824
00:46:32,338 --> 00:46:34,131
Awesome song.

825
00:46:34,924 --> 00:46:39,011
Dude, these local chicks are so easy.
It's like banging fish in a barrel.

826
00:46:39,178 --> 00:46:42,890
That Gina was a freak. I've got
bite marks all over my badonkadonk.

827
00:46:43,265 --> 00:46:45,851
Or was that Aubrey?
Whichever one smells like lavender.

828
00:46:46,018 --> 00:46:47,394
I got that stuff all over me.

829
00:46:47,561 --> 00:46:50,063
One of you smell my knuckles,
will you?

830
00:46:50,230 --> 00:46:51,857
Jesus. This guy's a dick.

831
00:46:52,024 --> 00:46:54,651
I don't get why you came here.
You don't even like Carly.

832
00:46:54,818 --> 00:46:57,237
I told you, man.
Our parents are old friends...

833
00:46:57,404 --> 00:47:00,741
...which means they approve of her,
they give me anything I want...

834
00:47:00,908 --> 00:47:03,994
...including this sick
3-series Beemer, with nav...

835
00:47:04,161 --> 00:47:06,079
...that drove your fat ass up here.

836
00:47:06,246 --> 00:47:07,581
Rock it.

837
00:47:08,248 --> 00:47:10,083
Why you gotta take a shot
at my weight?

838
00:47:10,250 --> 00:47:11,585
You know I'm working on it.

839
00:47:11,752 --> 00:47:12,836
He's just using her.

840
00:47:13,045 --> 00:47:16,757
And he likes to get bit in
the badonkadonk, that sick bastard.

841
00:47:16,924 --> 00:47:17,925
I gotta tell her.

842
00:47:18,091 --> 00:47:21,345
- Yeah, no, buddy. Don't tell her.
- No, I have to.

843
00:47:21,553 --> 00:47:22,846
No, no, you really don't.

844
00:47:23,013 --> 00:47:24,139
Yeah, I kind of do.

845
00:47:24,306 --> 00:47:28,310
It's pretty obvious that you're gonna
go against everything I stand for...

846
00:47:28,477 --> 00:47:33,106
...and poop where you eat, so at least
let me help you take that poop, okay?

847
00:47:33,273 --> 00:47:35,275
Trust me, bro, don't tell her.

848
00:47:35,442 --> 00:47:38,111
Why? She needs to find out
what kind of guy he really is.

849
00:47:38,278 --> 00:47:42,199
If you tell her, you'll be the guy who
told her her boyfriend is cheating.

850
00:47:42,366 --> 00:47:45,619
- Yeah?
- Bro, that's all you're ever gonna be.

851
00:47:45,786 --> 00:47:48,205
Best-case scenario,
she looks at you as a girlfriend.

852
00:47:48,372 --> 00:47:51,875
Worst-case scenario, she's pissed
at you for poking in her business.

853
00:47:52,084 --> 00:47:54,211
Either way, you're not poking
in her business.

854
00:47:55,295 --> 00:47:56,338
You marinate with that.

855
00:48:00,008 --> 00:48:02,427
- I hear you. That's good advice.
- It is good advice.

856
00:48:02,594 --> 00:48:04,471
- Thanks.
- That's what friends are for.

857
00:48:04,638 --> 00:48:05,806
- Are you good?
- I'm good.

858
00:48:05,973 --> 00:48:07,015
Carly!

859
00:48:07,808 --> 00:48:10,644
Hey, Carly. There's something
I have to tell you. Carly!

860
00:48:11,687 --> 00:48:13,605
I was wondering where you were.

861
00:48:13,772 --> 00:48:16,942
I was looking for you too.
But you go first. What's up?

862
00:48:17,109 --> 00:48:19,736
I was just wondering
about the moon.

863
00:48:19,903 --> 00:48:23,991
I mean, is it still crescent
or a half-moon?

864
00:48:24,157 --> 00:48:25,826
What the French
have to say about it?

865
00:48:27,494 --> 00:48:28,495
I'm an idiot.

866
00:48:28,662 --> 00:48:32,958
No. No, it's a waxing crescent moon
tonight, and you're not an idiot.

867
00:48:33,125 --> 00:48:35,502
Unless you don't know
what "waxing" means.

868
00:48:35,669 --> 00:48:38,630
I'm a cheerleader,
I know what "waxing" means.

869
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:42,092
- Carly horse.
- Rick.

870
00:48:42,259 --> 00:48:45,262
- That's what he calls you?
- Yeah. He means it cute.

871
00:48:47,848 --> 00:48:51,018
- What's up, high school?
- You smell like lavender.

872
00:48:51,518 --> 00:48:53,103
Yeah.

873
00:48:53,270 --> 00:48:55,856
We're learning about the effects
of lavender therapy...

874
00:48:56,023 --> 00:48:57,774
...on type-two carcinoma patients.

875
00:48:57,941 --> 00:49:02,863
How's that working out? Anyone go
into remission after smelling a flower?

876
00:49:05,365 --> 00:49:07,200
All right, you caught me, man.

877
00:49:08,952 --> 00:49:13,206
- I picked you some flowers, Carly.
- That is so sweet. Where are they?

878
00:49:14,875 --> 00:49:17,544
I made a special wish on them
and threw them into the sky.

879
00:49:17,961 --> 00:49:19,046
That is so romantic.

880
00:49:19,212 --> 00:49:22,925
We should hit it, Carlito's Way. I told
the guys I'd be done with dinner in 40.

881
00:49:23,550 --> 00:49:25,093
I'll see you at practise?

882
00:49:25,260 --> 00:49:27,679
Shawn here is a great
leather-basket tosser.

883
00:49:29,056 --> 00:49:30,807
What a great trick.

884
00:49:30,974 --> 00:49:32,434
Not as good as yours.

885
00:49:32,684 --> 00:49:34,394
I'll see you tomorrow, Shawn.

886
00:49:50,911 --> 00:49:53,580
- Awesome date.
- I'll see you at the competition?

887
00:49:53,747 --> 00:49:55,415
I wouldn't miss it for the world.

888
00:50:02,923 --> 00:50:03,924
Bye.

889
00:50:07,260 --> 00:50:11,014
I like you a lot, Carles Barkley.
You're one of the good ones, babe.

890
00:50:31,117 --> 00:50:33,286
You know what reminds me
of the better times?

891
00:50:33,453 --> 00:50:37,541
Before Carly started hanging out
with those two little suck-buckets.

892
00:50:37,749 --> 00:50:39,251
Something's up with them.

893
00:50:39,417 --> 00:50:41,461
Wanna stay and do some digging?

894
00:50:41,628 --> 00:50:43,880
Big-time. You know why?

895
00:50:49,886 --> 00:50:54,683
Awesome song. Chumbawamba.
It's the soundtrack to my life, man.

896
00:51:00,814 --> 00:51:03,733
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

897
00:51:03,900 --> 00:51:05,527
Go, Tigers!

898
00:51:05,735 --> 00:51:08,572
Cradle. One, two.

899
00:51:11,950 --> 00:51:14,244
Great job, guys.
Let's take a little water break.

900
00:51:14,411 --> 00:51:16,871
Are my hips rotating too late
before the final toss?

901
00:51:17,038 --> 00:51:20,208
I wasn't gonna say anything,
but you gotta rotate and then catch.

902
00:51:20,375 --> 00:51:22,168
Rotate, then catch.

903
00:51:22,335 --> 00:51:25,130
- We're out of water.
- We need two volunteers to refill.

904
00:51:25,297 --> 00:51:26,464
- I'll go.
- Me too.

905
00:51:28,091 --> 00:51:30,176
Dude, don't go. Hey, Shawn.

906
00:51:30,927 --> 00:51:31,970
God...

907
00:51:32,137 --> 00:51:34,514
That was really good.
Keep it up, okay?

908
00:51:35,307 --> 00:51:36,766
Hi.

909
00:51:38,518 --> 00:51:40,937
Listen, I don't know
if I've told you this yet...

910
00:51:41,104 --> 00:51:44,441
...but your coaching, I mean,
it's been incredible.

911
00:51:44,649 --> 00:51:48,737
And whatever happens between us,
you've made me a better cheerleader.

912
00:51:48,945 --> 00:51:51,865
- And for that, I owe you...
- You have some food in your teeth.

913
00:51:52,824 --> 00:51:56,286
And your pecs are uneven.
Make sure you don't favour one side.

914
00:51:56,870 --> 00:51:58,038
Always coaching.

915
00:51:59,247 --> 00:52:00,665
God bless you!

916
00:52:02,500 --> 00:52:04,127
Why can't I crack this?

917
00:52:04,294 --> 00:52:05,378
Damn it.

918
00:52:05,754 --> 00:52:07,047
So...

919
00:52:07,255 --> 00:52:11,217
...how often did you see Dr. Rick
during the school year?

920
00:52:11,384 --> 00:52:14,846
I don't know why he keeps calling
himself that. It's kind of douchey.

921
00:52:15,013 --> 00:52:17,349
Oh, no, no, no. It's super cool.

922
00:52:18,224 --> 00:52:20,352
I can't believe he's my pre-fiancé.

923
00:52:20,518 --> 00:52:22,646
I remember when I was 7,
I decided...

924
00:52:22,812 --> 00:52:25,857
...that I was not gonna get married
until I was 34.

925
00:52:26,024 --> 00:52:30,195
- That's very specific.
- Oh, I had it all thought out.

926
00:52:30,362 --> 00:52:32,739
High school, college,
a year abroad in Greece...

927
00:52:32,906 --> 00:52:35,909
...and because, don't laugh,
I always loved Greek salad.

928
00:52:36,076 --> 00:52:40,038
Tomatoes, cucumbers, feta.
No, that makes perfect sense.

929
00:52:40,205 --> 00:52:41,414
I know. It's silly.

930
00:52:41,581 --> 00:52:43,416
I love that you had it
all planned out.

931
00:52:43,583 --> 00:52:46,920
- You know what John Lennon said.
- Not really. I'm not in my 50s.

932
00:52:47,087 --> 00:52:48,171
I could ask my dad.

933
00:52:48,338 --> 00:52:51,049
"Life is what happens when
you're busy making other plans."

934
00:52:51,424 --> 00:52:52,759
Yeah.

935
00:53:01,101 --> 00:53:02,936
Damn, this is heavy.

936
00:53:03,103 --> 00:53:05,438
Are you okay? You look hot.
Do you want some water?

937
00:53:05,605 --> 00:53:07,065
- Yeah, sure. Thanks.
- Here.

938
00:53:11,111 --> 00:53:13,947
Did you say I looked hot?
I'm pretty sure that's what I heard.

939
00:53:14,114 --> 00:53:16,825
- I heard you screaming like a girl.
- Oh, really?

940
00:53:16,991 --> 00:53:19,202
Oh, my God. Don't move.
There's a bee on you.

941
00:53:19,369 --> 00:53:22,122
What? No. Get it off.

942
00:53:23,707 --> 00:53:25,125
You little bitch!

943
00:53:27,961 --> 00:53:30,296
All right, week three of cheer camp,
here we come.

944
00:53:30,463 --> 00:53:32,465
I love the smell of pom-pom
in the morning.

945
00:53:32,632 --> 00:53:34,092
Let's do this.

946
00:53:35,135 --> 00:53:37,345
- Where you going?
- Post-breakfast practise.

947
00:53:37,512 --> 00:53:40,974
And then, you know, Carly and I are
gonna work on reverse cartwheels.

948
00:53:41,141 --> 00:53:44,811
My left foot keeps hitching when
I do my inverse swing-over. It's like:

949
00:53:44,978 --> 00:53:47,397
Take it easy.
We're done with this, all right?

950
00:53:47,605 --> 00:53:49,149
Week three. Hit it and quit it.

951
00:53:49,315 --> 00:53:51,985
Oh, no, we gotta...
We gotta stay longer.

952
00:53:52,152 --> 00:53:54,904
Dude, it's time to go.
Remember Mookie's dad's house?

953
00:53:55,071 --> 00:53:56,489
The plasmas and the Jacuzzis.

954
00:53:56,656 --> 00:53:59,743
Yeah, but I just... I think
we should stay just a touch longer.

955
00:53:59,909 --> 00:54:01,870
I'm done. All right?
I've had enough girl.

956
00:54:02,036 --> 00:54:04,748
Breadsticks only keep you
at the Olive Garden for so long.

957
00:54:04,914 --> 00:54:06,249
Till, at some point, you say:

958
00:54:06,458 --> 00:54:08,752
"Why am I at Olive Garden
with these fat people?"

959
00:54:08,918 --> 00:54:10,545
- What? No...
- Let's go.

960
00:54:10,712 --> 00:54:13,465
- Let's talk about this.
- All right, let's go. Let's pack.

961
00:54:13,673 --> 00:54:15,341
Let's just dialogue for a second.

962
00:54:15,508 --> 00:54:17,969
- We don't have to go right now.
- Yeah, we do.

963
00:54:18,136 --> 00:54:20,805
The bus leaves in an hour.
Next one's not until tomorrow.

964
00:54:20,972 --> 00:54:23,475
Yeah, but come on, man.
What about our squad?

965
00:54:23,641 --> 00:54:25,435
You know,
the competition's coming up.

966
00:54:25,602 --> 00:54:28,354
Dude, the squad? The competition?
Listen to yourself.

967
00:54:28,521 --> 00:54:30,774
We had a deal. Two weeks. Right?

968
00:54:30,940 --> 00:54:33,359
Kiss, kiss, bang, bang,
sayonara, cheer camp.

969
00:54:33,526 --> 00:54:35,528
We are leaving
We, we are leaving

970
00:54:35,695 --> 00:54:36,780
We are leaving

971
00:54:37,113 --> 00:54:38,698
Now, come on, dude, start packing.

972
00:54:38,865 --> 00:54:41,868
I need a little bit more time with Carly.
There. I said it. Okay?

973
00:54:42,035 --> 00:54:44,704
I know you think that's lame,
but can you give me one day?

974
00:54:44,871 --> 00:54:47,373
That's not lame, bro. That's gay.

975
00:54:47,540 --> 00:54:51,044
Well, technically, pursuing a woman
you have heterosexual feelings for...

976
00:54:51,211 --> 00:54:52,712
...that's not gay, Nick.

977
00:54:52,879 --> 00:54:56,007
But using a rotating inverse
swing-over to do it? Yeah, that is.

978
00:54:56,174 --> 00:54:59,969
Shawn. Don't forget we're gonna
go over our reverse cartwheels.

979
00:55:00,136 --> 00:55:02,555
- Okay, I'll be right there.
- See you there.

980
00:55:02,722 --> 00:55:04,307
All right. Right behind him.

981
00:55:04,474 --> 00:55:07,477
All right, come on, man, let's go.
You know the deal.

982
00:55:07,977 --> 00:55:10,313
And trust me,
you're gonna thank me for this.

983
00:55:11,356 --> 00:55:14,192
All right, let's go, Shawnzy.
And no more moping. All right?

984
00:55:14,359 --> 00:55:16,903
Not an attractive colour on you,
nor is orange and grey.

985
00:55:17,070 --> 00:55:18,738
Takes away from your eyes.

986
00:55:27,205 --> 00:55:30,750
Damn it, damn it, damn it...

987
00:55:36,548 --> 00:55:37,590
What are you doing?

988
00:55:37,757 --> 00:55:40,218
Well, probably making
the biggest mistake of my life.

989
00:55:40,385 --> 00:55:42,512
Except that year
I wore that leather wristband.

990
00:55:42,679 --> 00:55:46,057
How did I possibly think that's cool,
you know? I'm not a blacksmith.

991
00:55:46,224 --> 00:55:47,851
That was a little Nickelback-y.

992
00:55:48,017 --> 00:55:50,353
You like this girl,
you're my boy, we stay.

993
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:52,272
Well, what about Mookie's house?

994
00:55:52,438 --> 00:55:54,023
Are you coming or not?

995
00:55:55,108 --> 00:55:57,610
Are you sure we are staying?
We, we are staying?

996
00:55:57,777 --> 00:56:00,446
No, I'm not sure,
so don't turn a yes into a no.

997
00:56:00,613 --> 00:56:02,699
Thank you, Nick.
Thank you so much, man.

998
00:56:02,866 --> 00:56:04,868
I know you don't like
man-to-man touching...

999
00:56:05,034 --> 00:56:08,580
...but my arm is on your shoulder.
Here comes my arm right now.

1000
00:56:08,746 --> 00:56:10,707
-Another day
-Another holler

1001
00:56:10,874 --> 00:56:15,128
You're wasting my precious breath.
I can't hear you.

1002
00:56:15,295 --> 00:56:17,380
-Another day
-Another holler

1003
00:56:17,547 --> 00:56:19,507
-Another day
-Another holler

1004
00:56:19,674 --> 00:56:20,717
Another day

1005
00:56:21,676 --> 00:56:23,303
Hey, bro, got a second?

1006
00:56:24,512 --> 00:56:25,972
Wrong section of the woods.

1007
00:56:26,139 --> 00:56:28,641
You want the northeast corner
near the redwoods.

1008
00:56:28,975 --> 00:56:32,353
What? I wanna know if you know
two dudes named Nick and Shawn.

1009
00:56:33,021 --> 00:56:35,773
Yeah. They're my bunkmates. Why?

1010
00:56:37,150 --> 00:56:41,988
Five, six, seven, eight. One, two,
three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

1011
00:56:43,907 --> 00:56:45,450
- Angela, no.
- Are you okay?

1012
00:56:45,617 --> 00:56:48,328
Easy, Tiger. Easy, Tiger.

1013
00:56:49,913 --> 00:56:53,625
- I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm fine.
- You all right?

1014
00:56:53,791 --> 00:56:54,918
I'm okay.

1015
00:56:56,836 --> 00:56:59,005
Sorry, guys, I just suck.

1016
00:56:59,172 --> 00:57:02,759
- It's not just you. We all kind of suck.
- We're not good at all.

1017
00:57:03,343 --> 00:57:06,596
- Hey, stop. Stop talking like that.
- But it's true.

1018
00:57:06,763 --> 00:57:08,348
We're just not that good.

1019
00:57:09,182 --> 00:57:10,350
Stop.

1020
00:57:10,516 --> 00:57:13,603
Enough of that.
You can go as far as you want.

1021
00:57:14,437 --> 00:57:16,522
What do the Panthers have
that you don't have?

1022
00:57:16,689 --> 00:57:17,899
- Skills.
- Athleticism.

1023
00:57:18,066 --> 00:57:19,609
- Kickass cheers.
- Hair removal.

1024
00:57:19,776 --> 00:57:22,278
Big-ass titties. I'm just saying.

1025
00:57:22,445 --> 00:57:25,281
Confidence.
They're cocky assholes.

1026
00:57:25,448 --> 00:57:28,952
Like Nick, the cockiest asshole on the
football field. That's why he's good.

1027
00:57:29,118 --> 00:57:31,371
- I'm awesome.
- Because he believes in himself.

1028
00:57:31,537 --> 00:57:32,705
Also because I'm awesome.

1029
00:57:32,872 --> 00:57:36,000
He knows he's gonna be good,
so he's good. And he takes chances.

1030
00:57:36,167 --> 00:57:37,877
Due to the fact that I'm awesome.

1031
00:57:38,044 --> 00:57:40,880
- Nick. Trying to make a speech here.
- I'm sorry.

1032
00:57:41,047 --> 00:57:43,675
Either bet big or go home.

1033
00:57:43,967 --> 00:57:47,220
If you don't wanna take any chances,
then you shouldn't even be here.

1034
00:57:47,470 --> 00:57:50,890
I know you wanna be here, because
you finish last every single year...

1035
00:57:51,057 --> 00:57:52,684
...but you keep coming back...

1036
00:57:52,850 --> 00:57:55,019
...even if it means
taking endless shit...

1037
00:57:55,186 --> 00:57:57,730
...from total dong-knockers
like the Panthers.

1038
00:57:57,897 --> 00:57:59,482
I wanna cut the blond one.

1039
00:57:59,649 --> 00:58:00,900
- What?
- What?

1040
00:58:01,067 --> 00:58:02,652
- What?
- What?

1041
00:58:02,819 --> 00:58:05,571
- What?
- I'm just saying.

1042
00:58:06,364 --> 00:58:08,658
Come on, guys.
Let's be cocky assholes.

1043
00:58:08,824 --> 00:58:10,242
He's right.

1044
00:58:10,409 --> 00:58:11,410
And I can say that...

1045
00:58:11,577 --> 00:58:14,872
...because I am the best cheerleader
here, so you can all suck it.

1046
00:58:17,249 --> 00:58:19,001
I was just being a cocky asshole.

1047
00:58:19,167 --> 00:58:22,754
Oh, nice. Did you see
what she was doing there?

1048
00:58:22,921 --> 00:58:25,424
That's exactly what I want
from everybody.

1049
00:58:25,590 --> 00:58:27,217
All right, let's do this.

1050
00:58:27,384 --> 00:58:30,846
And remember, you're awesome.
Let's risk it to get the biscuit.

1051
00:58:31,012 --> 00:58:32,431
All right, get cocky, bitches.

1052
00:58:35,767 --> 00:58:37,936
- Let's do it. Come on, guys.
- Ready.

1053
00:58:38,145 --> 00:58:39,396
Hit it!

1054
00:58:39,563 --> 00:58:41,773
All you chumps
Think you got poise

1055
00:58:41,940 --> 00:58:44,109
You prance around like little toys

1056
00:58:44,276 --> 00:58:46,528
Do you really think
You can make some noise?

1057
00:58:46,695 --> 00:58:48,572
Five, six, seven, eight.

1058
00:58:48,739 --> 00:58:50,073
Tigers!

1059
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:51,950
- Get cocky.
- Get cocky.

1060
00:58:52,701 --> 00:58:54,661
Come on, everybody.

1061
00:58:57,247 --> 00:58:58,790
Let's go, tigres.

1062
00:59:00,125 --> 00:59:01,626
There it is.

1063
00:59:04,463 --> 00:59:05,464
All right, get cocky.

1064
00:59:05,630 --> 00:59:06,882
Here we go, here we go.

1065
00:59:07,048 --> 00:59:08,175
Keep it tight.

1066
00:59:22,814 --> 00:59:24,149
Everybody, let's work.

1067
00:59:33,408 --> 00:59:37,996
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

1068
00:59:38,163 --> 00:59:39,289
There it is.

1069
00:59:39,456 --> 00:59:40,916
Go big, Shawnzy.

1070
00:59:41,750 --> 00:59:43,084
I'm doing it, brother.

1071
00:59:47,339 --> 00:59:49,800
Awesome. So much better.

1072
00:59:58,642 --> 00:59:59,684
Tigers!

1073
01:00:00,727 --> 01:00:04,022
All right, la tigres. Come on.

1074
01:00:04,231 --> 01:00:06,441
That's my girls,
bringing some A-game.

1075
01:00:07,150 --> 01:00:08,693
You are some cocky bitches.

1076
01:00:08,860 --> 01:00:12,197
I think it's safe to say that you guys
are now officially Tigers.

1077
01:00:12,364 --> 01:00:14,282
- Right, girls?
- All right.

1078
01:00:14,449 --> 01:00:15,867
One, two, three.

1079
01:00:16,034 --> 01:00:17,410
Tigers!

1080
01:00:17,953 --> 01:00:20,455
One, two, three, frauds!

1081
01:00:20,872 --> 01:00:23,375
- Rick?
- These two have been playing you.

1082
01:00:23,542 --> 01:00:25,794
They didn't come
because they like cheerleading.

1083
01:00:25,961 --> 01:00:28,171
They came here because
they like cheerleaders.

1084
01:00:28,338 --> 01:00:30,632
- Yeah, we know.
- Everyone knows.

1085
01:00:30,799 --> 01:00:32,676
Why are you here?
What's going on, Rick?

1086
01:00:32,843 --> 01:00:35,720
- Bus tickets.
- Damn it.

1087
01:00:35,887 --> 01:00:38,890
Your friends were planning on leaving
before the competition...

1088
01:00:39,057 --> 01:00:42,185
...without any feeling for anyone
they may have left in their wake.

1089
01:00:42,352 --> 01:00:43,812
- Animals.
- You were gonna leave?

1090
01:00:43,979 --> 01:00:47,315
Well, we were gonna, but we didn't.
That's way before you and I ever...

1091
01:00:47,482 --> 01:00:50,151
- You were gonna do this to the squad?
- I can explain.

1092
01:00:50,318 --> 01:00:54,072
I can't believe you. I mean,
I knew you were here to get girls, but...

1093
01:00:54,239 --> 01:00:56,533
- ...I thought you started to get into it.
- I did.

1094
01:00:56,700 --> 01:00:59,911
It started off being about girls,
but then it became about you.

1095
01:01:00,078 --> 01:01:02,914
- Wait, that doesn't sound right.
- That sounds exactly right.

1096
01:01:03,081 --> 01:01:04,582
Bail, brother. Bail.

1097
01:01:04,791 --> 01:01:06,417
I really like you, Carly.

1098
01:01:06,584 --> 01:01:08,503
That's close enough, Jonas Brother.

1099
01:01:08,670 --> 01:01:12,757
This is how you show someone you
like them, Shawn? By lying to them?

1100
01:01:12,948 --> 01:01:15,784
To be fair, he lied to you
before he really cared...

1101
01:01:15,951 --> 01:01:19,412
...then he tried super hard to word it
so it wouldn't be a lie after that.

1102
01:01:19,579 --> 01:01:21,164
Just so we're on the same page.

1103
01:01:22,123 --> 01:01:25,126
If these weren't tools for healing,
I would crack you in the jaw.

1104
01:01:25,293 --> 01:01:27,212
- You're a tool for healing.
- That's right.

1105
01:01:27,379 --> 01:01:29,297
You're the guy
who's fancy with his words.

1106
01:01:29,464 --> 01:01:32,092
Well, then, why don't
I just read your diary.

1107
01:01:32,259 --> 01:01:35,136
- Where did you get that?
- I've done a bad thing. I'm so sorry.

1108
01:01:35,303 --> 01:01:38,223
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Suzy,
right now. He tricked me.

1109
01:01:38,390 --> 01:01:39,891
You tricked me.

1110
01:01:40,058 --> 01:01:41,476
This is how it happened.

1111
01:01:42,269 --> 01:01:43,311
Brewster!

1112
01:01:43,478 --> 01:01:46,481
He said he wanted to leave you a note,
I brought him to the bunk.

1113
01:01:46,648 --> 01:01:48,483
He must've seen
your stuff on the couch.

1114
01:01:48,650 --> 01:01:51,236
- Why was it on the couch?
- I was cleaning up your mess.

1115
01:01:51,403 --> 01:01:53,530
I told you I can't stand clutter.
I warned you.

1116
01:01:53,697 --> 01:01:57,158
- Give me the book back.
- "Cheer camp, day one.

1117
01:01:58,076 --> 01:02:01,288
The sun rises in the summer sky...

1118
01:02:01,454 --> 01:02:04,583
...like Rembrandt's brush
on a dogwood branch.”

1119
01:02:05,375 --> 01:02:07,836
- Queeratron.
- Let's go. Give it to me.

1120
01:02:08,670 --> 01:02:11,172
Back up, Abercrombie and Bitch.

1121
01:02:13,008 --> 01:02:14,801
"And thereby Diora..."

1122
01:02:19,514 --> 01:02:23,518
"I lie awake thinking, will I ever say
"Diora, ' as a whisper in an ear?

1123
01:02:23,685 --> 01:02:26,479
Will she ever say "I love you,"
in a moment with a tear?"

1124
01:02:26,646 --> 01:02:29,316
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

1125
01:02:31,192 --> 01:02:33,528
Carly, I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt you.

1126
01:02:33,695 --> 01:02:37,365
Just leave, okay? Just leave
like you always planned on doing.

1127
01:02:37,532 --> 01:02:40,368
Carly, please, let me explain.
Give me just one second.

1128
01:02:40,535 --> 01:02:42,370
See you later, high school.

1129
01:02:42,537 --> 01:02:45,373
I didn't write that. I bought the book.
It was in there.

1130
01:02:45,540 --> 01:02:46,875
It was beautiful.

1131
01:02:47,709 --> 01:02:48,960
Thanks.

1132
01:02:52,380 --> 01:02:54,341
Never really thought of that one.

1133
01:02:54,507 --> 01:02:58,011
Using one's true feelings
to wrangle snooch.

1134
01:02:59,054 --> 01:03:00,555
So simple.

1135
01:03:15,195 --> 01:03:18,073
So we lied and we got caught.
So what, huh?

1136
01:03:18,239 --> 01:03:19,991
We're humans. Humans lie.

1137
01:03:20,158 --> 01:03:23,578
They tell big gigantic two-week-long
lies because they're humans.

1138
01:03:23,745 --> 01:03:26,498
Stop saying "humans." We did this.

1139
01:03:26,665 --> 01:03:28,291
Because we're humans.

1140
01:03:28,458 --> 01:03:31,419
All right, humans are
the only species that can lie.

1141
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:34,214
Except for maybe chameleons.

1142
01:03:34,923 --> 01:03:37,342
And possums. They play dead.

1143
01:03:40,762 --> 01:03:41,930
What's that?

1144
01:03:42,097 --> 01:03:45,266
It's Downey's bracelet.
Yeah, I love that kid, huh?

1145
01:03:45,433 --> 01:03:47,769
Said it was cool, so he gave it to me.
How nice.

1146
01:03:47,936 --> 01:03:51,022
Those are his... beads, bro.

1147
01:03:51,189 --> 01:03:53,441
Downey liked you.
Like, "liked you" liked you.

1148
01:03:53,608 --> 01:03:56,277
What? That's crazy.
Downey isn't gay.

1149
01:03:56,444 --> 01:03:59,364
Nick, come on. Think about it.

1150
01:03:59,906 --> 01:04:01,658
I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

1151
01:04:01,825 --> 01:04:04,786
- What's up? I'm Downey.
- Hey. Nice to meet you.

1152
01:04:04,953 --> 01:04:08,581
Put it in there.
A little cheer camp. Crazy good times.

1153
01:04:08,748 --> 01:04:10,083
Yeah. It's gonna be fun.

1154
01:04:10,250 --> 01:04:12,669
Panther meat!
I said, hey, Tigers!

1155
01:04:12,836 --> 01:04:14,963
- Yeah?
- Hey, Tigers!

1156
01:04:16,131 --> 01:04:17,257
Diora.

1157
01:04:17,424 --> 01:04:19,384
Hey, Nick.
You wanna go out on the field...

1158
01:04:19,551 --> 01:04:21,594
...and maybe count shooting stars
with me?

1159
01:04:21,761 --> 01:04:24,097
You're classic, Downey. Classic.

1160
01:04:29,462 --> 01:04:31,214
Raw-hamburger fight!

1161
01:04:41,516 --> 01:04:42,851
I'm hit.

1162
01:04:44,394 --> 01:04:47,730
Medic!
This man needs some jocks-ygen.

1163
01:04:48,439 --> 01:04:51,067
- Come on, we're losing him.
- Got it.

1164
01:04:51,234 --> 01:04:54,195
Don't you die on me. Don't die on me.
Don't you die on me.

1165
01:04:54,362 --> 01:04:56,739
You prance around like little toys

1166
01:04:56,906 --> 01:04:59,242
Do you really think
You can make some noise?

1167
01:04:59,409 --> 01:05:01,244
Five, six, seven, eight.

1168
01:05:01,411 --> 01:05:03,329
Tigers!

1169
01:05:07,917 --> 01:05:10,586
Welcome back to Sucktown.
Population: you.

1170
01:05:10,753 --> 01:05:15,007
Without your gigolos, looks like
you got last place sewn up, again.

1171
01:05:15,174 --> 01:05:18,386
Why don't you get your nose job
out of everybody else's business.

1172
01:05:18,553 --> 01:05:19,762
I got thrown by a horse.

1173
01:05:19,929 --> 01:05:22,557
Why? Was he spooked because
you both have the same face?

1174
01:05:22,724 --> 01:05:24,434
You're gonna die. You're gonna die.

1175
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:25,852
Carly, don't.

1176
01:05:26,018 --> 01:05:29,939
You're placing your anger at the boys
on them. It's transference.

1177
01:05:30,148 --> 01:05:32,483
You're right.
I'm gonna punch you in the throat!

1178
01:05:32,734 --> 01:05:33,776
Let it go.

1179
01:05:37,113 --> 01:05:40,783
Look at that little hottie. Wonder
what she wants to do with her life.

1180
01:05:41,159 --> 01:05:42,201
What?

1181
01:05:42,368 --> 01:05:44,954
You know how Bianca
wants to go to cooking school...

1182
01:05:45,163 --> 01:05:47,457
...and Sylvia wants to be a pilot,
and...

1183
01:05:47,665 --> 01:05:48,708
Oh, my God.

1184
01:05:49,417 --> 01:05:52,420
I actually know these girls,
as, like, friends.

1185
01:05:52,587 --> 01:05:53,963
And I care.

1186
01:05:54,130 --> 01:05:56,048
I'm becoming
like a fully formed person...

1187
01:05:56,215 --> 01:05:58,176
...with like sensitivity and empathy.

1188
01:05:59,218 --> 01:06:01,220
All right, I'm a person!

1189
01:06:01,387 --> 01:06:04,474
Look at the pooper on that one.
I could rest my beer on that shit.

1190
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:07,477
And you're back. What kind of
dressing goes on a Greek salad?

1191
01:06:07,643 --> 01:06:09,312
Olive oil, top shelf.

1192
01:06:16,778 --> 01:06:20,615
Is it me, Shawnzy, or is this not nearly
as much fun as it was last year?

1193
01:06:20,782 --> 01:06:21,824
It's not you.

1194
01:06:21,991 --> 01:06:23,993
This is too high. Give me a boost.

1195
01:06:26,954 --> 01:06:27,997
Shoulder stand.

1196
01:06:28,164 --> 01:06:29,665
- Ready?
- Okay.

1197
01:06:30,249 --> 01:06:32,668
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

1198
01:06:32,835 --> 01:06:34,921
- Grab.
- Out, drop, catch, dismount.

1199
01:06:35,838 --> 01:06:37,673
Catch. Yeah, buddy.

1200
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:39,258
Guys?

1201
01:06:40,092 --> 01:06:41,594
Don't take this the wrong way...

1202
01:06:41,761 --> 01:06:44,180
...but I think there's someone
you should talk to.

1203
01:06:44,972 --> 01:06:47,642
Hello, I'm am Reginald
von Belly Button.

1204
01:06:47,809 --> 01:06:50,186
I love Twinkies.

1205
01:07:01,030 --> 01:07:03,950
The competition's tomorrow.
I wonder if we could win it.

1206
01:07:04,909 --> 01:07:06,702
Did you say
"I wonder if we could win"?

1207
01:07:06,869 --> 01:07:08,204
- No.
- Yes, you did.

1208
01:07:08,371 --> 01:07:10,122
- You totally did.
- Didn't.

1209
01:07:10,331 --> 01:07:12,542
You wanna go back.
You're into cheering.

1210
01:07:12,708 --> 01:07:16,420
I'm the captain of the football team.
I could give a rat's ass about cheering.

1211
01:07:16,587 --> 01:07:19,048
- You're a cheerleader.
- You're misquoting me.

1212
01:07:19,215 --> 01:07:20,258
Do you wanna go back?

1213
01:07:20,424 --> 01:07:23,511
For you. Because I can't stand
seeing my best friend in Frown Town.

1214
01:07:23,678 --> 01:07:24,887
That's how selfless I am.

1215
01:07:25,054 --> 01:07:27,807
I would sacrifice myself
to cheer you up. I'm like Gandhi.

1216
01:07:27,974 --> 01:07:30,393
- Gandhi?
- Gandhi!

1217
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:33,729
- Mahatma K. Gandhi.
- Quake'n Bake!

1218
01:07:36,232 --> 01:07:38,401
Bus leaves in 20 minutes.

1219
01:07:40,069 --> 01:07:43,406
If we extend our high V's, we have
a chance at landing that aerial.

1220
01:07:43,573 --> 01:07:45,825
I don't know who you are anymore.

1221
01:07:46,993 --> 01:07:48,286
Kenny's asleep on the couch.

1222
01:07:48,452 --> 01:07:50,913
We're gonna get whipped cream
and paint his face.

1223
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:52,832
- Come on.
- Be right there, dudes.

1224
01:07:52,999 --> 01:07:55,585
- Right behind you, bro.
- Oh, my horse is peeing.

1225
01:08:13,170 --> 01:08:14,839
What is that?

1226
01:08:15,506 --> 01:08:17,174
Go back to sleep.

1227
01:08:21,679 --> 01:08:23,514
Why are you in my bed?

1228
01:08:23,722 --> 01:08:25,933
I must have sleepwalked.

1229
01:08:26,100 --> 01:08:28,686
I'm here now.
Let's just make the best of it.

1230
01:08:31,355 --> 01:08:33,399
- What are you doing here?
- I came back.

1231
01:08:33,566 --> 01:08:36,819
- I can see that. Goodbye.
- Carly, just listen to me.

1232
01:08:36,986 --> 01:08:38,362
- Why?
- We're teammates.

1233
01:08:38,529 --> 01:08:40,948
Teammates don't join a team
under false pretences...

1234
01:08:41,115 --> 01:08:43,117
...then leave once they
get what they want.

1235
01:08:43,284 --> 01:08:46,078
I know you're pissed at me,
and you should be. I lied to you.

1236
01:08:46,245 --> 01:08:50,374
But this is about the squad. We all
worked way too hard to throw it away.

1237
01:08:50,541 --> 01:08:52,376
How are you standing in the air?

1238
01:08:52,543 --> 01:08:54,795
Just take us back already. Christ!

1239
01:08:54,962 --> 01:08:56,547
Nick. Carly...

1240
01:08:56,714 --> 01:08:58,841
...I like you,
but that's not why I'm here.

1241
01:08:59,008 --> 01:09:00,384
Oh, rock me, sexy Jesus.

1242
01:09:00,551 --> 01:09:02,011
- Why are you here?
- Honestly?

1243
01:09:02,177 --> 01:09:05,180
- No. Lie to me again.
- Shawnzy, make it quick, buddy.

1244
01:09:05,347 --> 01:09:08,058
- Buddy.
- I like cheering.

1245
01:09:09,894 --> 01:09:11,061
Fraggle Rock.

1246
01:09:11,228 --> 01:09:12,313
I'm sorry, man.

1247
01:09:12,730 --> 01:09:13,772
My pecs are sore.

1248
01:09:13,939 --> 01:09:17,651
Oh, my God, Diora's right.
My left side is weaker.

1249
01:09:17,818 --> 01:09:20,070
- I favour one side.
- Pull me up. Pull me up.

1250
01:09:20,237 --> 01:09:22,740
Is this your plan
to get a little face time with me?

1251
01:09:22,907 --> 01:09:25,576
No. I'm dying here, seriously.

1252
01:09:26,410 --> 01:09:29,914
- Carly, come on. We need them.
- I don't wanna come in last again.

1253
01:09:31,916 --> 01:09:34,335
Fine. But I'm only doing this
for the squad.

1254
01:09:34,501 --> 01:09:35,920
You got it.

1255
01:09:38,631 --> 01:09:41,216
- Dude.
- You're such a fat boy.

1256
01:09:41,383 --> 01:09:44,595
It's competition day today.
Competition.

1257
01:09:51,936 --> 01:09:54,104
- Wow, this is big-time.
- Yeah, it is.

1258
01:09:54,271 --> 01:09:57,399
Well, well, well, if it isn't a couple
of wolves in cheer clothing.

1259
01:09:57,566 --> 01:10:00,694
Which part of "next time I see
your punim they'll be on the moon"...

1260
01:10:00,861 --> 01:10:03,864
- ...didn't you understand?
- Like, the whole thing?

1261
01:10:04,031 --> 01:10:06,700
I'm gonna have to go ahead
and ask you both to go ahead...

1262
01:10:06,867 --> 01:10:09,286
...and leave right now to leave now.

1263
01:10:09,453 --> 01:10:10,454
So...?

1264
01:10:10,621 --> 01:10:13,165
It's all right, coach.
I told them they could stay.

1265
01:10:13,332 --> 01:10:16,335
You really want these strong-jawed
philanderers on your squad?

1266
01:10:16,501 --> 01:10:17,544
Yeah.

1267
01:10:18,211 --> 01:10:20,714
It was just a little misunderstanding
we had before.

1268
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:21,965
All right. Your choice.

1269
01:10:22,132 --> 01:10:25,969
Next time you screw up,
I'm gonna have both your asses.

1270
01:10:26,428 --> 01:10:27,470
That's frightening.

1271
01:10:27,637 --> 01:10:29,639
Let's move it along.
Giddyup and roar.

1272
01:10:29,806 --> 01:10:32,142
Let me see those claws.
Move it along.

1273
01:10:32,309 --> 01:10:37,272
Meet me on Taryn Field tonight
after the competition. Bring your diary.

1274
01:10:37,647 --> 01:10:39,649
Only if you bring the dance
in your step...

1275
01:10:39,816 --> 01:10:42,986
...like a shimmering nymph
travelling the back of the wind.

1276
01:10:46,239 --> 01:10:49,242
Good afternoon, and welcome
to Channel 29's coverage...

1277
01:10:49,409 --> 01:10:52,662
...of the Regional Southeastern
Illinois Cheerleading Competition.

1278
01:11:20,106 --> 01:11:24,110
Bend at the hips and reach through
your hands. Don't lock...

1279
01:11:24,277 --> 01:11:28,031
God, please give us the strength to
land our flip-flops and basket tosses.

1280
01:11:28,198 --> 01:11:30,033
Amen. Oh, and fix the economy.

1281
01:11:30,200 --> 01:11:32,827
- Red leather, yellow leather.
- Red leather, yellow leather.

1282
01:11:32,994 --> 01:11:35,455
- Unique New York.
- Unique New York.

1283
01:11:35,664 --> 01:11:38,750
- Barack, Barack, Barack Obama.
- Barack, Barack, Barack Obama.

1284
01:11:38,917 --> 01:11:44,839
Five, six, seven, eight.
Kill, Panthers, kill. Panthers, Kill...

1285
01:11:48,385 --> 01:11:51,471
- Shawn.
- Carly.

1286
01:11:51,888 --> 01:11:54,724
- What you did really hurt me.
- I know, I know. I know.

1287
01:11:54,891 --> 01:11:59,646
I want you to know why. It's just
I thought you and I got really close...

1288
01:11:59,813 --> 01:12:01,022
...and I trusted you.

1289
01:12:01,189 --> 01:12:03,400
I know.
I felt the same way about you.

1290
01:12:04,359 --> 01:12:08,571
I'm really sorry, Carly.
And I don't expect you to forgive me.

1291
01:12:08,738 --> 01:12:10,198
I want you to know I'm sorry.

1292
01:12:10,824 --> 01:12:13,243
There's my Carly Davidson!

1293
01:12:16,830 --> 01:12:18,164
Hi, Rick.

1294
01:12:20,375 --> 01:12:24,129
- Just came by to say break a leg.
- That's theatre. This is cheering.

1295
01:12:24,295 --> 01:12:25,755
You better believe it.

1296
01:12:25,922 --> 01:12:28,591
- What's up, Dick?
- It's Rick. Dr. Rick.

1297
01:12:29,509 --> 01:12:32,595
God, I keep doing that.
You just look like such a Dick to me.

1298
01:12:32,762 --> 01:12:34,723
What are you crunt-sacks
doing back here?

1299
01:12:34,889 --> 01:12:37,767
It's okay. They're just helping us
do our final routine.

1300
01:12:37,934 --> 01:12:39,227
I'll be watching you.

1301
01:12:39,394 --> 01:12:43,231
Yeah. That's exactly what an audience
member does at a performance event.

1302
01:12:43,440 --> 01:12:44,899
Just go sit down, Rick.

1303
01:12:47,026 --> 01:12:50,280
Robert De Niro,
Meet the Parents reference. Love it.

1304
01:12:51,573 --> 01:12:53,616
- God, he seems great.
- Really nice.

1305
01:12:53,783 --> 01:12:54,784
I like him.

1306
01:13:04,461 --> 01:13:05,587
Here you go. Look alive.

1307
01:13:05,754 --> 01:13:07,589
Coming at you.
Here you go. Look alive.

1308
01:13:07,756 --> 01:13:10,633
Coming at you. Here you go,
freak shows. New uniforms.

1309
01:13:11,426 --> 01:13:13,803
- Here you go. Look alive.
- We didn't order these.

1310
01:13:13,970 --> 01:13:16,139
No shit, lesbatron. My brother did.

1311
01:13:16,306 --> 01:13:18,475
We're a new squad.
We need new uniforms.

1312
01:13:18,641 --> 01:13:21,644
- Thank you, Shawn.
- Awesome. Thank you.

1313
01:13:21,811 --> 01:13:24,898
- Okay. You owe me 127.80.
- You said it was gonna be 200.

1314
01:13:25,064 --> 01:13:27,484
- I cut you a deal.
- Wow, Poppy. Thank you.

1315
01:13:27,650 --> 01:13:29,486
That's actually human of you.

1316
01:13:29,652 --> 01:13:31,821
Don't get all ABC Family
on me here, buddy.

1317
01:13:31,988 --> 01:13:33,156
You're doing me a favour.

1318
01:13:33,323 --> 01:13:36,826
I guaranteed Staples 45 seconds
of airtime, so cheat out to camera.

1319
01:13:36,993 --> 01:13:38,912
And work this into your cheer:

1320
01:13:39,078 --> 01:13:41,581
"Staples now carries 30-percent
recycled copy paper.

1321
01:13:41,748 --> 01:13:44,334
Staples, committed to the
environment, committed to you."

1322
01:13:44,501 --> 01:13:45,502
- Hey.
- Okay.

1323
01:13:45,668 --> 01:13:48,129
If I don't have the money,
it's my shoe in your ass.

1324
01:13:48,296 --> 01:13:51,257
- That seems fair.
- You look great. Are you in love?

1325
01:13:54,260 --> 01:13:55,345
Stay safe.

1326
01:13:58,264 --> 01:13:59,307
What's up, kid?

1327
01:13:59,474 --> 01:14:00,934
- Downey.
- Good to have you back.

1328
01:14:01,100 --> 01:14:04,813
Why didn't you tell me you're gay?
I'd have been totally okay with that.

1329
01:14:04,979 --> 01:14:08,858
- Paint with all the colours of the wind.
- Wait. You're straight?

1330
01:14:11,236 --> 01:14:13,696
Am I straight? Yes.

1331
01:14:13,863 --> 01:14:15,198
But what about your diary?

1332
01:14:15,365 --> 01:14:18,201
Then you asked for my beads
and stuck them in your mouth...

1333
01:14:18,368 --> 01:14:21,037
- I thought it was a bracelet.
- A bracelet in your mouth?

1334
01:14:21,204 --> 01:14:22,705
- I don't know.
- The closet door...

1335
01:14:22,872 --> 01:14:24,791
<i>...As made of all kinds of wood,
brother.</i>

1336
01:14:24,958 --> 01:14:26,459
What?

1337
01:14:28,545 --> 01:14:29,963
- All kinds.
- Okay.

1338
01:14:31,130 --> 01:14:33,800
God, that is so awkward.

1339
01:14:37,554 --> 01:14:41,266
The Panthers, clear favourites,
have really come to play today.

1340
01:15:09,836 --> 01:15:13,381
Fierce, brave, hungry, Panthers

1341
01:15:13,548 --> 01:15:14,591
Kill!

1342
01:15:25,184 --> 01:15:27,770
- Dude, they're kind of great.
- Yeah.

1343
01:15:27,937 --> 01:15:29,522
It's not about them, guys.

1344
01:15:29,689 --> 01:15:33,026
It's about us. Just stay focused.
We'll be fine.

1345
01:15:33,192 --> 01:15:34,235
Panthers out.

1346
01:15:42,785 --> 01:15:44,203
Oh, let me get that for you.

1347
01:15:49,083 --> 01:15:50,293
Drool much?

1348
01:15:51,419 --> 01:15:53,171
Panthers out.

1349
01:16:04,807 --> 01:16:08,895
Free paper, courtesy of Staples.
30-percent recycled copy paper.

1350
01:16:09,062 --> 01:16:11,773
Staples, committed to the
environment, committed to you.

1351
01:16:11,981 --> 01:16:13,816
Do you have
50-percent recycled paper?

1352
01:16:13,983 --> 01:16:17,820
No. But I have 50-percent recycled
asshole paper. It's in the men's room.

1353
01:16:17,987 --> 01:16:20,323
It's free, gay bar, just take it.

1354
01:16:20,490 --> 01:16:21,950
Let's do this.

1355
01:16:22,116 --> 01:16:24,327
- Tigers!
- Let's go. Let's go.

1356
01:16:24,494 --> 01:16:28,081
Now, the Tigers from Gerald R. Ford
High School in Hinsdale, Illinois.

1357
01:16:28,665 --> 01:16:31,668
This team historically ranks last
like their namesake president.

1358
01:16:31,834 --> 01:16:34,170
Let's see if they've
stepped it up this year.

1359
01:16:34,337 --> 01:16:37,131
Hey. Is this on TV?
Dude, this can't be on TV.

1360
01:16:37,298 --> 01:16:40,635
Don't worry. It's NBC. No one
watches network television anymore.

1361
01:16:40,802 --> 01:16:42,929
Look, it's Nick on TV, cheerleading.

1362
01:16:43,513 --> 01:16:45,682
Shawn too. They're cheerleaders.

1363
01:16:45,848 --> 01:16:48,476
I thought those dudes
were in the kitchen.

1364
01:16:49,310 --> 01:16:52,772
All you chumps think you got poise
You prance around like little toys

1365
01:16:52,939 --> 01:16:54,232
Shit.

1366
01:16:54,941 --> 01:16:56,192
My chickens.

1367
01:16:56,359 --> 01:16:58,194
Five, six, seven, eight.

1368
01:16:58,361 --> 01:16:59,904
Tigers!

1369
01:17:21,592 --> 01:17:24,846
Risky floor stunts, athletic tumbling,
tight formations.

1370
01:17:25,013 --> 01:17:28,224
Looks like the addition of those
two new guys is really paying off.

1371
01:17:32,627 --> 01:17:33,878
Oh, my God, that bitch.

1372
01:17:36,047 --> 01:17:39,258
- It's not totally her fault.
- I was talking about Dr. Dick.

1373
01:17:39,425 --> 01:17:41,886
It sucks. Don't let it distract you.
We're gonna win.

1374
01:17:42,053 --> 01:17:44,388
No, we're not.
We're not as good as the others.

1375
01:17:44,555 --> 01:17:46,891
Yeah, we are. And there's
one way we can prove it.

1376
01:17:51,062 --> 01:17:52,939
- The Fountain of Troy.
- Yeah, right.

1377
01:17:53,105 --> 01:17:55,775
I thought that move
was prohibidimibidibabido.

1378
01:18:05,284 --> 01:18:06,285
Remember Lennon?

1379
01:18:06,452 --> 01:18:08,996
"Life's what happens when
you're busy making other plans."

1380
01:18:09,163 --> 01:18:12,083
- This is it. Life's happening.
- It's not that easy, Shawn.

1381
01:18:12,249 --> 01:18:16,253
I never said it was. You can do it.
I know you can. I'll jump it with you.

1382
01:18:16,420 --> 01:18:18,798
I still just don't see them
qualifying for States.

1383
01:18:18,965 --> 01:18:22,093
They are just not in the same league
as the top teams here.

1384
01:18:23,678 --> 01:18:25,471
- Who's gonna catch me?
- Nick.

1385
01:18:25,638 --> 01:18:29,058
- Who's gonna catch you?
- Them.

1386
01:18:29,225 --> 01:18:31,769
I have total faith in them.
They're Tigers.

1387
01:18:31,936 --> 01:18:34,230
- But what if they don't?
- Bet big or go home.

1388
01:18:34,397 --> 01:18:36,399
You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

1389
01:18:43,447 --> 01:18:44,824
- We're doing it.
- You sure?

1390
01:18:44,991 --> 01:18:46,450
We're doing a lot of talking.

1391
01:18:46,617 --> 01:18:48,995
This seems like a lot
of talking during the routine.

1392
01:18:51,956 --> 01:18:53,624
Lot of talking during the routine.

1393
01:18:55,292 --> 01:18:57,503
I'm the fountain.
Shawn, base. Nick, back.

1394
01:18:57,670 --> 01:19:00,172
Girls, catch. Shawn,
double-back handspring to end it.

1395
01:19:00,339 --> 01:19:01,424
- Got it.
- Ready?

1396
01:19:01,590 --> 01:19:03,092
Break.

1397
01:19:11,517 --> 01:19:14,979
Is this what I think it is? Are the Tigers
trying the Fountain of Troy?

1398
01:19:15,855 --> 01:19:19,525
This is the most dangerous move
in cheerleading. OMG.

1399
01:19:19,775 --> 01:19:21,277
That's prohibidado.

1400
01:19:21,944 --> 01:19:24,989
I told them in Spanish. How much
clearer could I have been?

1401
01:19:25,865 --> 01:19:26,991
Here comes the build.

1402
01:19:28,284 --> 01:19:29,326
Nice.

1403
01:19:31,704 --> 01:19:33,873
An awesome flying pose.

1404
01:19:39,712 --> 01:19:42,048
Here it comes, the final fountain.

1405
01:19:47,136 --> 01:19:48,721
And now for the final dismount.

1406
01:19:49,388 --> 01:19:50,681
Yes.

1407
01:19:51,891 --> 01:19:53,517
Perfect.

1408
01:19:54,060 --> 01:19:55,227
And the final flip out.

1409
01:19:55,770 --> 01:19:57,188
Here it comes, and...

1410
01:19:57,772 --> 01:19:59,315
Tigers!

1411
01:20:13,746 --> 01:20:15,164
Shawn!

1412
01:20:24,924 --> 01:20:26,008
Tigers!

1413
01:20:32,556 --> 01:20:34,099
That little shit.

1414
01:20:34,308 --> 01:20:35,851
My chicken shit.

1415
01:20:37,937 --> 01:20:40,439
Shawnzy. No, come here.
Come here, buddy. God.

1416
01:20:45,444 --> 01:20:46,445
Hey.

1417
01:20:47,905 --> 01:20:48,948
Hey.

1418
01:20:50,199 --> 01:20:52,076
Did we win?
Are we going to States?

1419
01:20:52,242 --> 01:20:53,869
No, we came in 19th.

1420
01:20:55,371 --> 01:20:56,413
I'm sorry.

1421
01:20:56,580 --> 01:20:59,583
Are you kidding? That's 10 places
better than we did last year.

1422
01:20:59,750 --> 01:21:02,336
If they didn't deduct points
for the Fountain of Troy...

1423
01:21:02,503 --> 01:21:03,921
...we might've made top three.

1424
01:21:04,463 --> 01:21:06,423
You nailed your triple backflip.

1425
01:21:06,590 --> 01:21:08,300
I nailed my double backflip...

1426
01:21:08,467 --> 01:21:12,137
...because a triple backflip
would've landed me in the water.

1427
01:21:12,972 --> 01:21:15,557
Yeah, I did do three.
That makes more sense.

1428
01:21:29,488 --> 01:21:32,658
- What was that?
- About three weeks overdue.

1429
01:21:43,752 --> 01:21:45,421
What the hell are you doing?

1430
01:21:47,339 --> 01:21:48,674
Kissing my teammate.

1431
01:21:48,882 --> 01:21:53,095
You wanna die today? I can take life
just as fast as I can give it.

1432
01:21:53,262 --> 01:21:54,847
First of all, you're not a doctor.

1433
01:21:55,681 --> 01:21:57,516
Second of all,
you're not my boyfriend.

1434
01:21:57,683 --> 01:21:59,518
What? Carly Fries, come on.

1435
01:22:00,519 --> 01:22:03,022
You're dumping me for him?

1436
01:22:03,439 --> 01:22:04,815
No, I'm dumping you, period.

1437
01:22:04,982 --> 01:22:09,903
And then I'm gonna be with him,
period. If that's okay with him.

1438
01:22:11,446 --> 01:22:12,614
Question mark.

1439
01:22:12,823 --> 01:22:15,450
Totally. Exclamation point.

1440
01:22:16,660 --> 01:22:19,830
Oh, puke.
Parentheses, bold, underline.

1441
01:22:20,998 --> 01:22:25,919
Carly Horse. Carly's Jr., baby.
Larry, Moe and Carly.

1442
01:22:26,878 --> 01:22:29,506
Carly and the Chocolate Factory,
sugar.

1443
01:22:31,216 --> 01:22:33,719
Carlsbad, Carly-fornia.

1444
01:22:34,621 --> 01:22:36,539
Why don't you run along now?

1445
01:22:36,706 --> 01:22:38,750
The longer you watch,
the sadder it gets.

1446
01:22:38,916 --> 01:22:40,960
- I'll show you sad.
- Hey, buddy.

1447
01:22:41,127 --> 01:22:42,337
Oh, Jesus.

1448
01:22:42,503 --> 01:22:43,630
- Nick.
- Nick.

1449
01:22:46,507 --> 01:22:47,800
That was for the Crocs.

1450
01:22:48,009 --> 01:22:50,637
You're not an old lady gardening
or a baby on the beach.

1451
01:22:50,803 --> 01:22:54,265
Okay? Now put on some shoes,
you're embarrassing yourself.

1452
01:22:56,768 --> 01:22:58,478
I'm just saying.

1453
01:22:58,645 --> 01:23:01,648
- You okay?
- Nothing a kiss can't fix.

1454
01:23:01,814 --> 01:23:03,441
Wait till tonight.

1455
01:23:05,318 --> 01:23:08,321
I'm gonna make a wish on these
and throw them into the sky.

1456
01:23:11,324 --> 01:23:13,993
I hope one of you ends up
in my ER one day, bleeding...

1457
01:23:14,160 --> 01:23:16,496
...I'll make you wait for days.

1458
01:23:16,788 --> 01:23:19,624
Unless one of you has Blue Cross...

1459
01:23:20,166 --> 01:23:23,294
...that's a PPO,
none of that HMO bullshit!

1460
01:23:27,674 --> 01:23:29,300
This is so cute.

1461
01:23:29,467 --> 01:23:33,179
The 19th-placers.
You're like the littlest pigs.

1462
01:23:35,640 --> 01:23:38,935
- How does it feel to still suck ass?
- You tell me.

1463
01:23:42,522 --> 01:23:46,275
Please don't hurt us. I was just kidding
about the whole rivalry thing.

1464
01:23:46,442 --> 01:23:49,487
Cheering doesn't mean that much
to me. I wanna be a paralegal.

1465
01:23:49,654 --> 01:23:51,614
I love your hair. Go.
That bitch is crazy.

1466
01:23:51,781 --> 01:23:55,368
Way to go, Bianca.
I didn't know you had it in you.

1467
01:23:55,535 --> 01:23:57,829
There's a lot you don't know
about her.

1468
01:23:58,621 --> 01:24:01,791
You know that John Lennon
"life happening"...

1469
01:24:01,958 --> 01:24:05,461
..."risk it to get the biscuit"
stuff you said back there?

1470
01:24:05,628 --> 01:24:06,963
It didn't really make sense.

1471
01:24:07,130 --> 01:24:08,840
Well, it got you to do it.

1472
01:24:09,006 --> 01:24:11,634
No. You got me to do it.

1473
01:24:19,642 --> 01:24:23,187
Well, congratulations, kid.
You got what you wanted.

1474
01:24:23,563 --> 01:24:26,065
Thanks to you.
I couldn't have done it without you.

1475
01:24:26,232 --> 01:24:29,026
- Just shut up. Shut up.
- Is it hard for you to accept thanks?

1476
01:24:29,193 --> 01:24:31,571
- You want me to accept thanks?
- Yeah. Open up to me.

1477
01:24:31,738 --> 01:24:34,365
Here it comes from my mouth.
And you're welcome.

1478
01:24:36,409 --> 01:24:37,702
Diora.

1479
01:24:37,869 --> 01:24:39,704
Lose the clothes.

1480
01:24:43,374 --> 01:24:45,084
That's good. No.

1481
01:24:46,878 --> 01:24:48,754
- Read me something from your diary.
- What?

1482
01:24:48,921 --> 01:24:53,384
"Perchance to dream,
perchance to love a wind... Hair...

1483
01:24:53,551 --> 01:24:57,096
...the summer skies
as teardrops cascade from my lo..."

1484
01:25:00,474 --> 01:25:02,518
Oh, my God. My husband.

1485
01:25:03,769 --> 01:25:05,271
This is not what it looks like.

1486
01:25:05,438 --> 01:25:07,398
Looks like you're running
some naked drill.

1487
01:25:07,565 --> 01:25:08,608
Exactly.

1488
01:25:08,774 --> 01:25:11,110
- Carry on.
- With what? Kissing your wife?

1489
01:25:11,277 --> 01:25:13,654
Good one. Five, six, seven, eight.

1490
01:25:13,821 --> 01:25:16,699
I said, hey, Tigers! Yeah?
I said, hey, Tigers! Yeah?

1491
01:25:16,866 --> 01:25:18,451
Hold it.

1492
01:25:20,745 --> 01:25:25,249
I'm gonna lay my hands on you to get
a really good sense of your movement.

1493
01:25:25,416 --> 01:25:26,959
Five, six, seven, eight.

1494
01:25:27,168 --> 01:25:29,003
- I said, hey, Tigers!
- Yeah!

1495
01:25:29,170 --> 01:25:31,213
- I said, hey, Tigers!
- Yeah!

1496
01:25:31,380 --> 01:25:33,925
- What do we like to...?
- Panther meat!

1497
01:25:34,133 --> 01:25:36,427
Sweet Jesus, mother of God!

1498
01:25:37,470 --> 01:25:39,805
Will you shut up, man?
I'm too straight to be gay.

1499
01:25:39,972 --> 01:25:43,976
I could watch What Not to Wear
with Nathan Lane in my blouse...

1500
01:25:44,185 --> 01:25:46,228
...and still win a straight award.

1501
01:25:46,395 --> 01:25:47,480
That's not right.

1502
01:25:47,688 --> 01:25:49,732
I could suck ****
and still be straight.

1503
01:25:49,899 --> 01:25:52,151
I could have one in my ***
two in each ****...

1504
01:25:52,318 --> 01:25:53,903
...and still win a straight award.

1505
01:25:54,070 --> 01:25:55,988
I could smoke ****
and still be straight.

1506
01:25:56,155 --> 01:25:58,324
I can't say "smoke ****"?

1507
01:26:00,117 --> 01:26:01,744
Carly. Come here.

1508
01:26:01,911 --> 01:26:04,622
We're working on a new mount
Bianca came up with.

1509
01:26:04,789 --> 01:26:07,083
- Yeah!
- Coming.

1510
01:26:07,249 --> 01:26:08,918
- Yeah!
- Coming.

1511
01:26:09,085 --> 01:26:11,420
- Yeah!
- Coming.

1512
01:26:11,587 --> 01:26:13,798
- We didn't order these.
- No shit, lesbatron.

1513
01:26:13,965 --> 01:26:16,842
No shit, queer-leader.
No shit, Lesbos, island of Greece.

1514
01:26:17,009 --> 01:26:20,179
No shit, ****.
No shit, ****.

1515
01:26:22,264 --> 01:26:25,851
No kidding, ****. Wait, what?
Just joking. Sorry.

1516
01:26:26,018 --> 01:26:27,937
The Fountain of Troy?

1517
01:26:28,104 --> 01:26:30,231
I thought that move
was prohibidabido.

1518
01:26:32,316 --> 01:26:33,943
It's not prohibidabido?

1519
01:26:34,110 --> 01:26:36,028
No, I'm pretty sure
it's prohibibabido.

1520
01:26:38,155 --> 01:26:39,198
Cut.

1521
01:26:39,365 --> 01:26:41,534
Go ahead and clap.

1522
01:26:42,326 --> 01:26:44,412
Mediocrity deserves applause.

1523
01:26:44,578 --> 01:26:47,707
Why don't we go find a Ford Focus
and clap around it?

1524
01:26:51,711 --> 01:26:53,129
Mascot down!

1525
01:26:55,047 --> 01:26:56,799
It's a dragon!

1526
01:26:59,135 --> 01:27:00,553
Tell me about that road.

1527
01:27:04,348 --> 01:27:06,183
Is it lonely on that road?

1528
01:27:12,023 --> 01:27:13,399
Have you made up your mind?

1529
01:27:15,568 --> 01:27:18,863
- You gonna waste any more time?
- No!

1530
01:27:21,240 --> 01:27:22,283
Then here we go.

1531
01:27:36,714 --> 01:27:39,258
- F-U!
- F-U!

1532
01:27:46,182 --> 01:27:47,516
You're damn straight. F-U!

1533
01:29:23,863 --> 01:29:27,283
I can't take this head anymore.
Oh, the air feels so good.

1534
01:29:28,993 --> 01:29:30,327
All right, kiss me.

1535
01:29:31,704 --> 01:29:32,872
What are you doing?

1536
01:29:33,956 --> 01:29:35,916
Keep it on, sexy beast.