1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,526 [FUNK BEAT PLAYING] 2 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:08,269 [SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER TV] 3 00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:09,705 Chris, look at your sister. 4 00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:10,793 What happened to her? 5 00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,055 You weren't watching her, 6 00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,491 that's what happened to her. 7 00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:15,624 I told you I wanted a cookie. 8 00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,495 Mom, I just sat down for a minute. 9 00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,497 Do you know what can happen in a minute? 10 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:25,329 Now, go get your sister washed up now. 11 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,288 [SPORTS ANNOUNCER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 12 00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:28,811 Come on, Tonya. 13 00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,421 NARRATOR: Thanks to Drew and Tonya, 14 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:31,944 I was taking care of kids 15 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,772 until I was taking care of my own kids. 16 00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,339 Chris, get me some potato chips. 17 00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:36,906 Chris, help me with my homework. 18 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,342 Chris, find my doll. 19 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,083 Make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 20 00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,780 Make me Kool-Aid.Strap up my shoe. 21 00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,434 Chris, I'm going to take a shower. 22 00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:44,435 Watch the kids. 23 00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,394 Chris, tie my shoe! 24 00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:48,309 Chris, I'm going to pick up my Porgy's. 25 00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:49,614 Watch the kids! 26 00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,964 Chris, help! My head is stuck! 27 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,749 Chris, I'm going to eat some peanuts. 28 00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,185 Watch the kids. 29 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,318 I'm going to get my mustache waxed. 30 00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:58,841 Watch the kids. 31 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,844 Chris!Chris! 32 00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,019 Chris! Chris! 33 00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,065 [♪♪♪] 34 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,160 ♪ Aww, make it funky now ♪ 35 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:37,184 [SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER TV] 36 00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,229 Whoa!Whoa! 37 00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,753 NARRATOR: The one thing that Drew and I did together 38 00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:43,929 was watch basketball games andRocky movies. 39 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,106 Tonight was basketball. 40 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,543 Whoa! See that shot?Whoa! 41 00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,850 NARRATOR: But since we only had one TV, we had to share with Tonya, 42 00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,896 and Tonya always got her way. 43 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,507 Mama said I can watch Three's Company. 44 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,422 We're watching the game.I don't care. 45 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,034 [REMOTE CONTROL CLICKS] [♪♪♪] 46 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,123 Move. 47 00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,693 ♪ Ooh, so you say ♪ 48 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,217 Mm. 49 00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:12,349 Oh, hey, baby. 50 00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:13,437 How was work? 51 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:14,482 Hard. 52 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,441 You know, I was thinking 53 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,575 that maybe we should go out, you know? 54 00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,533 Have dinner... 55 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,448 relax a little. 56 00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,015 Why would I go out to relax, 57 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:28,191 when I can relax at home for free? 58 00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,976 NARRATOR: That was my father's rationale for everything. 59 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,153 Twenty dollars to get in the club? 60 00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,677 We can dance at home for free. 61 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,679 I just wanted to do something nice. 62 00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,115 That's all. 63 00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:40,856 I think staying home is nice. 64 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,379 Well, you're not here all day. 65 00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:43,815 Well, why don't I stay home, 66 00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,643 and you can go out and work two jobs? 67 00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,255 [SPEAKING IN MUFFLED SLOW-MOTION] I'm sorry. 68 00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:51,301 NARRATOR: Where's a time machine where you could just go back 69 00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:52,911 and shut up? 70 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,913 I did not mean-- I'm not trying to take anything away 71 00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,611 from what you do here.That's okay. 72 00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,482 If you don't want to go out, you don't have to. 73 00:02:58,656 --> 00:02:59,701 No, look--It's okay, no. 74 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:00,963 Enough said. 75 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:04,184 It's over. Over. 76 00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:07,187 NARRATOR: There are two things my father knew for sure: 77 00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:08,971 He knew he knew nothing for sure, 78 00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,755 and he knew this wasn't over. 79 00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,801 [♪♪♪] 80 00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,240 KIDS: Hey, Dad. 81 00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:18,937 Hey, guys. 82 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:20,548 Y'all eating already? 83 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:21,679 KIDS: Mm-hmm. 84 00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:23,986 Where's your mother? 85 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,248 KIDS: In the kitchen. 86 00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,340 Hey, babe. 87 00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:32,777 What's for dinner? 88 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,649 Well, the kids are having chicken. 89 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,520 What about me? 90 00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:37,869 Well, you got two jobs. 91 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,393 You could take your two-job money 92 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:40,959 and go buy you a two-job meal. 93 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,138 I'm sorry, baby. 94 00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:50,273 If you want to go out, we can go out. 95 00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:56,323 Thank you, baby, oh! 96 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,802 I'll call Sheila's babysitter 97 00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,500 and tell her she can come tomorrow. 98 00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:01,153 Why do we got to pay a babysitter 99 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,807 when Chris'll do it for free? 100 00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,983 No, he does it during the day, not at night. 101 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,637 Rochelle, we don't really need... 102 00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,900 Do you want me to make you some chicken? 103 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,731 Okay, well, I'm gonna call Sheila's babysitter. 104 00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,691 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 105 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,214 Hi, I'm Yvette. 106 00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:19,781 Oh, okay, come on in. 107 00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:23,828 Okay, so I have some chicken 108 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,743 baking in the oven. Just take it out 109 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,179 in about 20 minutes. 110 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,051 Chris and Drew are gonna watch the game. 111 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,922 What am I gonna do while Chris and Drew 112 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,315 are watching the game? 113 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,838 Well, you can hang with me. 114 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:35,710 I'll show you how to do French braids. 115 00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:37,146 Okay.[CHUCKLES] 116 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,148 Yvette, I left the number to the restaurant 117 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,628 by the phone. 118 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:43,065 Now, call me if anything goes wrong, okay? 119 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:44,632 Everything's gonna be fine. 120 00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:47,243 Chris, I don't want that girl calling us. 121 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:48,810 So if there's a problem... 122 00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,246 handle it. 123 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,030 Me and your mother don't go out often, 124 00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:54,119 so I don't want nothing to spoil it. 125 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,599 Here. 126 00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:58,733 Whoa, what's this?That's emergency money. 127 00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,823 NARRATOR: My father believed there's nothing $10 couldn't fix. 128 00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,259 What if something costs $11? 129 00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,521 Talk them down to 10. 130 00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,393 Got it. 131 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,960 Okay, you guys be good.All right, Chris. 132 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,745 Call me if you need anything, okay? 133 00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,355 YVETTE: Okay.Okay, bye, y'all. 134 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,009 Bye. Bye-bye. Bye, Dad. 135 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,490 JULIUS: Bye, sweetie.Take your time and have fun. 136 00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,715 Welcome to Pastures and Shores. 137 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:25,890 May I take your order? 138 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,459 Okay, I'll have the all-you-can-eat 139 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,722 shrimp and sirloin combo, well done, 140 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,681 order of coleslaw and a Coke. 141 00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,378 And you, sir?JULIUS: I'll have 142 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:38,338 the ultimate surf and turf and a large Coke. 143 00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,384 [CASHIER TYPING] 144 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,343 [REGISTER DINGS]That'll be 17.99. 145 00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,997 Ooh. Wait, baby. 146 00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,651 Are you sure we can afford this? 147 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,698 It's okay. I have coupons. 148 00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:53,875 NARRATOR: If there was a coupon for something, my father had it. 149 00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,877 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 150 00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,444 What's this? 151 00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:00,098 A coupon-- No tickets on Tuesday. 152 00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,841 This doesn't include the all-you-can-eat 153 00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:05,103 shrimp and sirloin combo. 154 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:06,757 Oh, you know what? 155 00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:08,280 I'll just order something else. 156 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:09,717 I'll take the--No, it's okay. 157 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,283 I want everything to be perfect. 158 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:12,981 Get what you want. 159 00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:14,678 I'll pay for it. 160 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,731 Is there a problem? 161 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:26,168 Can I have my coupon? 162 00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:29,301 ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: ...to Irving inside, and Irving gets the basket. 163 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:32,043 NARRATOR: Having a babysitter in the house was great, 164 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,742 because the only kid I had to worry about was me. 165 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,787 [PHONE RINGS] 166 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,009 I'll be right back. 167 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,489 ANNOUNCER: Sixers beat the Knicks five out of six. 168 00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:44,447 No, I can't talk right now. 169 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,406 NARRATOR: My mother would never hire someone 170 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:47,929 she thought was irresponsible. 171 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,931 But irresponsible people never tell you 172 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:52,847 that they're irresponsible-- because they're irresponsible! 173 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,460 Chris, I gotta go. 174 00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,680 What do you mean, you gotta go?I got something 175 00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:01,464 I gotta do.You are doing something! 176 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:04,119 You stayed with your brother and sister before, right? 177 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,034 Yeah, but that's only during the day. 178 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:09,080 You'll be fine. I'll be right back. 179 00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:12,954 NARRATOR: At that moment, I wanted to bust her right upside the head. 180 00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,477 I'm hungry. 181 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,525 ROCHELLE: Oh, our food, yeah. 182 00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:19,700 Oh. 183 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,049 Thank you. 184 00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,398 JULIUS: I am hungry. 185 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,747 Thank you. 186 00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:25,967 Oh, wait, wait. Uh, excuse me. 187 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:28,186 I ordered coleslaw, but this is potato salad. 188 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,405 I'll get the manager. 189 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:30,972 We don't want the manager. 190 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,190 We want coleslaw. 191 00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:34,410 I'll get the manager. 192 00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,503 Is there a problem? 193 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:43,941 Uh, my wife ordered coleslaw and got potato salad. 194 00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:45,682 I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, 195 00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,510 but that meal comes with potato salad. 196 00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,338 But I ordered coleslaw. 197 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,818 But it comes with potato salad. 198 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,167 We'd be happy to sell you 199 00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,647 a side of coleslaw for 79 cents, 200 00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,953 you just have to get back in line. 201 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,956 NARRATOR: Never go out on the day they give out welfare checks. 202 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,568 You got a thousand paper cups of coleslaw back there. 203 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,700 You can't take this back and bring her one? 204 00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,876 Know what? Never mind. Just bring me a bowl-- 205 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,139 I'll have some of his coleslaw. Not a problem. 206 00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:09,532 No, no, can't do that, ma'am. 207 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,012 We have a no-sharing policy. 208 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,102 So what you're telling me 209 00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,320 is that I can't have 210 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,670 some of my husband's coleslaw? 211 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,585 That's what you're saying to me? 212 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,501 [LAUGHS] You could, but we would have to ask you to leave. 213 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,938 Heh. You know...You know what? 214 00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:25,374 You know what?I eat at home. 215 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:26,854 That's why I cook my own meals. 216 00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:27,942 I'll get you coleslaw. 217 00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,378 Is there anything else? 218 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,858 Enjoy your meal. 219 00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,816 What the hell-- Does he think he's Mr. T? 220 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,688 Why is he acting like that?It's okay. 221 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,428 This is our night, it's our night. 222 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:37,952 You're right. 223 00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,083 Oh, man. 224 00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:41,521 What's that? 225 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:42,739 It's my baby. 226 00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,654 You can't bring that baby here. 227 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:46,961 Would you be quiet, and let me handle this? 228 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,571 You can't bring that baby here. 229 00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,181 It'll just be for a little while. 230 00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:52,749 Did you bring something back to eat? I'm hungry. 231 00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:56,536 I forgot your mother put some chicken in the oven for you. 232 00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,020 I'm gonna run and get you guys something to eat. 233 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,282 Watch the baby, okay? 234 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:05,849 You can't leave your baby here. 235 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,721 Why not? Because you're babysitting. 236 00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,897 I'm just going down to Lincoln Fried Chicken. 237 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:11,725 What if he gets hungry? Or throws up? 238 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:12,987 He won't-- It'll be fine. 239 00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:14,510 I'll be right back. 240 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,164 NARRATOR: At that moment, I was sure 241 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,166 of two things: I wasn't gonna be fine, 242 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,255 and she wasn't gonna be right back. 243 00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:23,606 ♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪ 244 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,608 [BABY GURGLING] 245 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,135 [♪♪♪] 246 00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:33,877 What's this? 247 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,184 Why didn't they just give you a cup of coleslaw? 248 00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,577 It's this big. 249 00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,187 It'll be here in a few minutes. 250 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:40,667 [SIGHS] 251 00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,407 Where you going?I'm going to check 252 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,671 on the kids.The kids are fine... 253 00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:46,237 I'm just going to check, okay? 254 00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:59,555 DREW: Whoa-- A behind the back, off the backboard dunk! 255 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:00,991 Chris, man, you're missing it! 256 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,079 Come on! 257 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,646 Shh, would you be quiet? 258 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,735 Stop yelling and turn the TV down. 259 00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,781 You think she's coming back?She better. 260 00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,826 [PHONE RINGING] 261 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,228 Hello. 262 00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,317 Hey, baby, how's it going? 263 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,274 CHRIS: Good. 264 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:24,754 [BABY COOING] 265 00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,060 Is that a baby? 266 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,192 No, it's the TV.[CONTINUES COOING] 267 00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:29,585 Oh. Well, where's Yvette? 268 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,456 She's in the bathroom. 269 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,850 Okay. We'll be home in a little while, all right? 270 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,199 Okay. 271 00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:36,723 Okay, love you.All right, bye. 272 00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,594 NARRATOR: I know you're thinking: 273 00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:41,162 "Why didn't I just tell my mother what was going on?" 274 00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:44,034 Well, I figured it couldn't get any worse. 275 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,645 Hi, um, is Yvette here? 276 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:48,473 She just left. And who are you? 277 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,041 I'm Mario. Is that my baby? 278 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,305 I don't know, is it? 279 00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:56,830 I know. He takes after his mom. 280 00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,441 NARRATOR: We didn't know if it was his baby, either. 281 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:02,183 But trust me, there ain't no black man picking up a baby 282 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,794 that ain't his. 283 00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,927 What's he doing here? Where did she go? 284 00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:08,711 She went to get us something to eat. 285 00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:11,192 She's babysitting us.My boy... 286 00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:12,933 TONYA: Where you think you're going? 287 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,978 You can't just leave with somebody's baby. 288 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,501 Look, when she comes back, 289 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,373 tell her I'll be over my mother's house. 290 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,331 DREW: Whoa! Chris, you should've seen it! 291 00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:22,725 Bernard King hit a shot from the top of the key, 292 00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:25,162 stole it and hit another one right before the half! 293 00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:26,816 I'm hungry. 294 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,954 NARRATOR: Sometimes my father would be so focused 295 00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:35,564 on everything going right, 296 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,218 he didn't realize he was the reason 297 00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:38,523 it was going wrong. 298 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,743 It's okay. 299 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,615 Your coleslaw will be here any minute. 300 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,966 Why do you make such a big deal out of nothing? 301 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,881 Because I spent good money on this. 302 00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,534 I expect it to be good. 303 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,885 Well, is it about the money or is it about me? 304 00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:53,451 Why would you even ask me that? 305 00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,149 We have been waiting 30 minutes 306 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:57,151 for a Dixie Cup full of coleslaw. 307 00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:58,369 Think about it. 308 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,502 Never mind. 309 00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,373 Oh, finally! 310 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,555 Enjoy your coleslaw. 311 00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:15,822 I'm sorry. 312 00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:18,128 I don't get to take you out as much as I'd like. 313 00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:19,434 It's okay, baby. 314 00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:21,653 I just want everything to be right. 315 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,918 But as long as I'm with you, everything's perfect. 316 00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:26,484 I love you--[DOORS SWING OPEN] 317 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:27,485 MAN: Everybody down! 318 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:28,748 Get down!Now! 319 00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,532 Damn it! 320 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,362 Hey.Hey. 321 00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,930 NARRATOR: Isn't it funny how irresponsible people think 322 00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,975 they can change the world with chicken? 323 00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:41,195 Chris, man, this is the best game I ever seen. 324 00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:42,326 You gotta come watch. 325 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,588 Chris, where's the baby? 326 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,590 His father took him. 327 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,114 You gave my baby to a stranger? 328 00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,637 No, to his father. 329 00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:49,943 That could be anybody. 330 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:52,510 He asked for you at the door. 331 00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:53,990 And the baby said "Da-Da." 332 00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,078 Who else could it be? 333 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,079 I don't know! 334 00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:57,080 Where'd they go? 335 00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,473 To his mother's house. 336 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,390 I know-- You'll be right back. 337 00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,392 [ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] 338 00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,698 Whoo! Yeah! 339 00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,744 NARRATOR: As bad as things were going, 340 00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:11,312 I could always count on one person to make things go 341 00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,053 from bad to worse. 342 00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:15,098 [PHONE RINGING] 343 00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:17,666 Hello? 344 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,233 Hello? I'm looking for my parents. 345 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,974 They're having dinner there tonight. 346 00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,627 I think you got the wrong number. 347 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,890 This ain't no restaurant. 348 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,195 Tonya, what are you doing? 349 00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:26,631 Hey! What are you doing? 350 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,764 I'm calling Mom.I'm answering the phone! 351 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,592 Are you trying to mess everything up? 352 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,029 You gonna mess everything up. Just put the money in there! 353 00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,901 Mom said call if anything went wrong. 354 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:37,251 Something went wrong, so I'm calling. 355 00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,514 Tonya, no. They're on a date. 356 00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,733 If you call, you're gonna mess everything up. 357 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,432 Then Mama will be mad at Dad, Dad will be mad at me. 358 00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:46,260 Just let me handle this, okay? 359 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,739 All I know is 360 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,959 somebody better French braid my hair. 361 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:53,920 Give me the money, big man! 362 00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:55,747 Just watch where you point that thing. 363 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,619 ROBBER 1: Don't tell me where to watch. 364 00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,577 I'll point this wherever I want. 365 00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:01,536 Julius, just be quiet. 366 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,146 You better listen to your girl. 367 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,105 Hey, that's not my girl, that's my wife. 368 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,497 ROBBER 2: Hey, man, come on, 369 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:08,064 just get the money and let's go. 370 00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,979 No, man over here trying to be a hero. 371 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,241 ROBBER 2: Hey, come on, 372 00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:12,373 I got this. 373 00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,115 Chelle? 374 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:16,290 Huh? 375 00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:17,421 Is that you? 376 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,120 It's me, Ricky! 377 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:21,948 Remember? From Flatbush! 378 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:25,429 I'm sorry, I-I don't believe I know who you are. 379 00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:26,778 I used to be at the club 380 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,389 with Shine and them, remember? 381 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:29,825 We used to pop lock. 382 00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,133 [GRUNTS] 383 00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:35,396 Remember? 384 00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:37,224 [GASPS] Ricky Edwards? 385 00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:38,573 Donna's brother! 386 00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,531 Yeah! Yeah! How you been? 387 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:43,621 Oh, good till now. How you been? 388 00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:44,927 Oh, I'm hanging in there. 389 00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:46,189 All right. 390 00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:48,061 Hey, since you all so tight, 391 00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,671 why don't you just let us slide? 392 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,674 Hey, man, if it was up to me, I would. 393 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,372 But my partner...crazy. 394 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,984 So you all going to have to put something in the bag. 395 00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:00,377 Why don't we pretend we put something in the bag? 396 00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:01,639 Because this ain't no pretend robbery! 397 00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:04,251 Julius, just give him the money. 398 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,993 Um, can you just leave us a little for the babysitter? 399 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,037 You know how it is. 400 00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:09,647 You got kids? 401 00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,040 Boy, I got three! 402 00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:14,739 Two boys and a girl! 403 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,306 Kids, they a blessing. 404 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,525 Yeah, love of my life. 405 00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:18,830 Dig. Look, just give me 20. 406 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,441 Hurry up before my man see you. 407 00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:22,922 Give him, give him!Hurry, before my partner sees. 408 00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:27,230 Chelle... It was good seeing you, girl. 409 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,623 Aw, you too, man. 410 00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:31,104 Hey! Don't tell nobody I did this. 411 00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,149 [♪♪♪] 412 00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:36,805 Hello.TONYA: Hi. 413 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:37,806 Is Yvette here? 414 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:38,850 Who are you? 415 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,287 I'm her mother. 416 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,766 I came to pick up the baby. 417 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,986 His father took him.Where's Yvette? 418 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,553 She said she'll be right back. 419 00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:48,295 Then again, she said that 30 minutes ago. 420 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,688 You mind if I come in and wait for her? 421 00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:52,734 Come in. 422 00:15:58,609 --> 00:15:59,915 Is everybody okay? 423 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,961 No, we're not okay, man, 424 00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:03,919 we just got robbed.Julius... 425 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,921 NARRATOR: After everything that happened, 426 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,967 you would expect my mother's reaction 427 00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:09,707 to be a little like this... 428 00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:12,362 You are such a brave man. 429 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:15,148 Oh, baby, thank you for taking me to dinner 430 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,367 and standing up to those robbers. 431 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,587 Oh, baby, I love you so much. 432 00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:22,198 NARRATOR: Instead, it went a little something like this. 433 00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,679 Are you crazy? 434 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:27,247 What was you thinking, arguing with a masked gunman? 435 00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:28,988 You could have been killed! 436 00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,293 Do you think I got married 437 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,078 to raise three kids by myself? 438 00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:34,689 The next time somebody tries to rob us... 439 00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,952 get robbed! 440 00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:38,562 Let's go! 441 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,524 Here's a coupon for a free meal 442 00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,352 if you decide to come back again. 443 00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:47,615 Thanks, man.Julius! 444 00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,704 Take two.Good luck. 445 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:56,015 [BASKETBALL GAME PLAYING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] 446 00:16:58,713 --> 00:16:59,975 What happened to your hair? 447 00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:01,629 Yvette said she was gonna teach me 448 00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,022 how to French braid. 449 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:04,588 Does Yvette live with you? 450 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:05,807 Yes. Why? 451 00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,548 My mama said if I have a baby 452 00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:09,028 before I get married, 453 00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,464 she says she's putting me out 454 00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,248 because she ain't raising no babies. 455 00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,642 You like raising babies?No. 456 00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:16,383 How come you didn't put her out? 457 00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:18,037 How old are you? 458 00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:19,690 Nine. 459 00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,431 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 460 00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,085 I'll get it! 461 00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:25,957 You mother's here. 462 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,789 Chris, this is the best game I ever seen! 463 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,008 You gotta come watch! 464 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,057 How come you didn't tell me you were babysitting? 465 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:39,710 Why are you in my business? 466 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:42,061 You live in my house, you don't have any business. 467 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:43,801 I don't have to live at your house. 468 00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:44,933 I'll move in with Mario. 469 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,456 You think Mario's mother 470 00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:48,284 wants to deal with you? You need a job. 471 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:49,894 Why do you think I'm babysitting? 472 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,026 You weren't even here. 473 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,375 I was coming right back. 474 00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,116 Hey, hey! That's enough. 475 00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,118 Excuse me?CHRIS: You gotta leave, 476 00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,902 and take that baby with you.Fine! 477 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,426 Not you, her. 478 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,341 I don't know if that's such a good idea. 479 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:02,907 CHRIS: If my mom comes home 480 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,300 and finds out what happened, 481 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:06,259 she's gonna ask me why I didn't tell her. 482 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,477 And I'm gonna say 483 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,131 because my dad told me not to. 484 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,351 And then she's gonna curse him out and kill me. 485 00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,700 [SIGHS] 486 00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,136 When are you coming home? 487 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,834 As soon as his mom and dad come back. 488 00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,923 [BABY COOING] 489 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:23,972 Are you still gonna teach me 490 00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:25,321 how to French braid my hair? 491 00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:26,844 Yeah. Heh. 492 00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,890 Oh, Chris, why don't you go watch your game? 493 00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,632 Three, two, one! 494 00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:33,112 Oh, man! 495 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:36,680 That was a good game! Heh, heh. 496 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,029 [CHANGES CHANNEL] 497 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:39,335 WOMAN 1 [ON TV]: What are you doing here? 498 00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:40,989 WOMAN 2 [ON TV]: I came for the makeover! 499 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,817 Everything went okay?Everything went so good. 500 00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:44,166 We had so much fun. 501 00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,602 ROCHELLE: Good!YVETTE: They were good. 502 00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:46,690 We should do it again. 503 00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:48,039 ROCHELLE: For sure! 504 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,259 Maybe we could go to a movie next time. 505 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,088 NARRATOR: I wanted this to be a good night for my parents. 506 00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:56,483 and I didn't want my father to think I couldn't handle things. 507 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:59,225 So I decided to keep everything that happened... 508 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,835 to myself. 509 00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,924 JULIUS: Yvette, are you free next Friday? 510 00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,273 No, no, no, no, no! 511 00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:05,796 She left us to go get a baby. 512 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,885 When she came back, she burnt your chicken. 513 00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,931 Then, this guy came to the door asking for the baby. 514 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:12,151 His name was Mario and was the baby's father. 515 00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,674 When he left, she came back, 516 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:14,979 and the baby wasn't here. 517 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,851 She went to get the baby back, 518 00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:18,679 her mother came to the door looking for her and the baby. 519 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,550 They had a fight about where to live. 520 00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:23,162 She said she'd live at Mario's house. Who is Mario? 521 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,859 When she came back, she braided Tonya's hair. 522 00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,600 Drew got to watch the game, you guys came back. 523 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,776 She's trying to make it look like everything 524 00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,734 was all peachy and fine. It's not! 525 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,389 [♪♪♪] 526 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:36,871 I told you we should have let Chris babysit. 527 00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,568 Girl, give me my money back. 528 00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:40,614 I'mma kick her ass. 529 00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,311 Hold my wig.[BELL RINGS] 530 00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:47,969 ♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪ 531 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:51,015 NARRATOR: Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode. 532 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,368 [♪♪♪] 533 00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:59,241 ♪ Aww, make it funky now ♪