1 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,256 So what's on tap for today? 2 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,508 Chidi's study group should be off and running. 3 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,635 We can go check in on how Brent's doing. 4 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,054 If there's anyone that can turn that ash-hole 5 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,688 into a good person, it's Chidi. 6 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:18,351 My man used to collect action figures of famous philosophers. 7 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:21,813 Oh, Eleanor, look, it's a near-mint Arthur Schopenhauer 8 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,815 with a working quill! 9 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:27,026 What a dork. I love him so much. 10 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,654 Chidi might make the new humans better all on his own. 11 00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:32,491 It's so great he erased his memory. 12 00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:35,744 But, you know, it's also quite sad, 13 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:38,330 for you in a way that I always think about 14 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,081 and am respectful of. 15 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:42,875 What the fork? 16 00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:45,212 Hi, Eleanor. Hi, Michael. 17 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,546 Hey, what's up bud? 18 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:49,132 Is this some sort of a mobile philosophy study group? 19 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,466 Are you having class outside? 20 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,302 'Cause you're the cool teacher? 21 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,061 With that cool hat shirt combo? 22 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,347 Nope. We were heading off for a picnic. 23 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,933 Oh, you know, we were actually just gonna go 24 00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,457 check in on your new student, Brent. 25 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:01,811 Oh, you know, I'm not sure that 26 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,122 Brent's in it for the long haul. 27 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,814 He came to one session, 28 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,859 and then he said he got a B in Moral Values at Princeton, 29 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,652 and so maybe he should be the professor. 30 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,714 Then he asked me if I knew that he went to Princeton. 31 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,532 I said I did. 32 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:16,076 Then he said he went to Princeton, and he left. 33 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:19,084 Well it seems like we have a real project on our hands. 34 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,955 What do you say we hunker down, and 35 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,915 figure out how to get him back on track? 36 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:26,670 Nah! The guy's in paradise. He should do what he wants. 37 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:28,672 Plus, it is such a beautiful day, 38 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,442 we were going to go to that mountain where you just magically glide to the top 39 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,416 and you're not even tired, but somehow, 40 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:36,888 it still gives you the smugness and calf definition of a real hike. 41 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,891 Well, just for argument's sake, what would Kant say 42 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,435 about your duty to help your fellow human beings? 43 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,854 Well, honestly, when the weather is this perfect, 44 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,482 I think that Kant would say, 45 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,216 "Who's up for some Frisbee golf?" 46 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,699 Guys, you gotta hear this joke I made about Kant. 47 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,233 Never seen Chidi like that. 48 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,537 He was... chillaxing, 49 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,288 which is a word I just invented, 50 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,749 combing Chidi and relaxing. 51 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,376 Yeah, I guess once you have the burden of saving humanity 52 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,462 removed from your brain, life is dandy. 53 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,172 Must be nice, Chidi. 54 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:12,381 That's what's missing. 55 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,967 Chidi isn't being tortured. 56 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,385 As far as he's concerned, 57 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,872 he did everything right on Earth, 58 00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,222 so now he just gets to enjoy himself. 59 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:22,517 If we don't force Chidi into stressful decision-making, 60 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,977 he won't even have the chance to become a better person. 61 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,105 Right. You want to make a pearl, 62 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,190 you gotta get some sand in your clam. 63 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:32,485 Oyster. We need Chidi to live in a world of low-grade dread. 64 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,569 I've got this. 65 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,112 I have a ton of experience 66 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:37,031 making ex-boyfriends' lives miserable. 67 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:41,035 First up, we fill his acoustic guitar with wet cat food. 68 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,969 Judge me all you want. I get results. 69 00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,546 - Janet, darling? - Hi, there. 70 00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,405 - Oh, you dyed your hair. - I did. 71 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,735 After I broke up with Jason, I researched how humans cope 72 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:56,926 with relationships ending, 73 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,386 and number eight on the list 74 00:02:58,470 --> 00:02:59,989 was doing something dumb with your hair. 75 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,306 Number 42 was watch "Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again," 76 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,476 so I did that, too. It was okay. 77 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,245 It's just a lot of the same songs as the first one. 78 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:08,104 Well, hopefully, diving back into work 79 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,773 was also high on that list because we need to help John, 80 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,400 and I know how. 81 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:14,443 - Spa day. - Spa day? 82 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:15,778 That's right, Janet. 83 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:16,962 I've cracked the code. 84 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,239 See, in 2014, 85 00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,866 John wrote eleven articles 86 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:24,037 mocking Gigi Hadid's vacation at an exclusive resort in Bali. 87 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,165 But then he researched cheap flights to Bali for himself, 88 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,250 and looked into something called 89 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,503 a discount hotel package? 90 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,511 Judgmental but privately envious. 91 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,215 That's the third most frequent combination of human emotions. 92 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,802 Number two is gracious and privately envious, 93 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,054 and number one since the dawn of time, 94 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,262 sad and horny. 95 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:45,099 See, John's pettiness was the result of feeling excluded 96 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,434 by the rich and powerful. 97 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,353 So I, the rich and powerful, 98 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,820 am going to welcome him into an exclusive world 99 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,691 of luxury and pampering! 100 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:54,442 Oh, he loves celebrity gossip. 101 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,337 You should tell him about how eight different characters 102 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,278 from "Game of Thrones" are based on you. 103 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,614 That is a great idea. 104 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,241 See? You're getting it now. 105 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,992 First, we open his pores, 106 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:04,994 and then we open his heart. 107 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:08,331 We exfoliate the dead skin cells of envy, 108 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,917 and we detoxify his soul. 109 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,168 Spa day. 110 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,461 Spa day. 111 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,463 I'm so excited for Spa day. 112 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,964 I mean, I know I can eat whatever 113 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,341 I want and not gain weight 114 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,025 and the air is obviously perfect 115 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,261 and no one has any jobs or stress or problems, 116 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,847 but I just feel like I need this. 117 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,431 Well, you are in for a treat 118 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,018 'cause I had Janet build an exact replica 119 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,979 of Victoria Beckham's ultra-exclusive private spa. 120 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,440 Posh's spa? The Posh Wash? 121 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,859 It's the most coveted invitation in England. 122 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,445 Membership is based on weight and net worth. 123 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,864 Gain a pound or lose a pound, and you're out. 124 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,324 Shall we go? 125 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,957 Hi Janet. Oh my god. Love. Love. 126 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,959 - Thank you. - Okay. So 127 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,919 we want the VIP package. 128 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,128 Oh! Actually we want the secret package 129 00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,425 for the people who complain and say they're not just any VIP. 130 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,469 Ooh. The VVIP package. 131 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,680 Prepare yourself. The VVIP package is so luxurious 132 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,767 it's the only thing that has ever made Mariah Carey say, 133 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,102 Oh! I don't need all this! 134 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,062 Right this way. 135 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,730 Oh my god, can you believe Janet's hair? 136 00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:19,569 Not sure I want a massage from 2003 Avril Lavinge. 137 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,281 Jason, there you are. 138 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:24,157 We need your help. 139 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,449 Okay. 140 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:26,701 Hand me the jar. 141 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,537 - Of what? - The peanut butter jar. 142 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,331 Get it. 143 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,041 You said you needed help opening a peanut butter jar. 144 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,251 No, we didn't. 145 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,336 Oh. 146 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,671 Then who said that? 147 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,423 No one. Shut up and listen. 148 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,692 We need your help with something very important. 149 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:42,883 Are you sure? 150 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,320 I'm probably just gonna mess it up. 151 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,821 Just like I messed things up with Janet. 152 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,347 Dude, helping to save humanity 153 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,599 is as good a way as any to get over a breakup. 154 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,685 I mean, it's not like Janet has a car you can key, 155 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,146 or a house you can "Left Eye" Lopes. 156 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,689 Okay. 157 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,607 I'm in. I got your back, guys. 158 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,860 Now hand me that jar. 159 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,029 Are you speaking metaphorically, 160 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,906 like the task we're embarking on 161 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,699 is a metaphorical jar 162 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,327 you're gonna open by accomplishing the task? 163 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,997 Yes. 164 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,916 Oh, goodie. 165 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,001 Cucumber water. 166 00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:21,088 Nope. This is fresh water from Oprah's estate in Maui 167 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,566 with mushrooms from her private bog 168 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:23,967 in the Pyrenees Mountains. 169 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,218 Oh, my God. It tastes like candy. 170 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:27,219 You know what they say. 171 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,763 A mushroom from Oprah's bog 172 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,140 is better than anything from anywhere else. 173 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,726 Ugh, I didn't know that they said that. 174 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,228 I missed out on all the cool celebrity sayings. 175 00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:37,980 Say good-bye to FOMO. 176 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:41,317 You can finally experience the best of the best. 177 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,444 The only thing that would make this any better 178 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,404 is some hot goss. 179 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,321 Very well. 180 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,740 Our story begins 181 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,426 when I ran into Robbie Williams, Heidi Klum, 182 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,328 and the remaining members of Fifth Harmony... 183 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,413 at the Dolce and Gabbana spring show. 184 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,708 Hate him, loathe her, over them, cancel it, 185 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,459 tell me everything. 186 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,337 So Natalie Portman does all of Scarlett Johansson's stunts? 187 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,089 - Why? - For the power. 188 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,091 Just to say she can. 189 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,176 Sure, I get that. 190 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:10,054 Tahani, I feel amazing. Thank you. 191 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,223 You're quite welcome! 192 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,142 Hey, you know what would give you an even more luminous glow? 193 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,894 There was this sort of inner treatment 194 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,687 that was all the rage on Earth: 195 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,731 The study of ethics. 196 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,151 Think of it as a colonic, but for your soul! 197 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,069 Our resident philosopher Chidi Anagonye 198 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,946 leads an ethics study group in his apartment. 199 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,032 What do you say you and I sit in? 200 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,951 Would I like to use my time in heaven 201 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,913 to audit a philosophy class? 202 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,914 Um 203 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:37,915 No. 204 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,250 You stay crazy, girl! 205 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:40,585 Bye. 206 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,463 - Hey! - Hi! 207 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,091 - So how was the picnic? - Oh, amazing. 208 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,634 I mean, there were ants everywhere, 209 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,094 but they were so helpful. 210 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,898 They carried our wine glasses back and forth 211 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:52,990 and they folded our napkins for us. 212 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,807 They were so cute. 213 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,268 Wait till you see the otters who do our turn-down service. 214 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,478 Listen, you might know Jianyu, the monk? 215 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,647 He wants to join your philosophy study group. 216 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,732 Oh, sure, we can get that up and running again. 217 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,944 Maybe discuss some Lao Tzu and Confucius. 218 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,611 Fun! Everything is so fun. 219 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,447 Perfect. Just one thing. 220 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:13,325 So he's been having kind of a hard time adjusting here. 221 00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,870 Apparently monks aren't the most social creatures. 222 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,122 So just promise me you'll help him no matter what. 223 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,541 Eleanor, I swear to you 224 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:23,461 I will look after Jianyu as if he is my own brother. 225 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,422 Wow. I mean, a promise 226 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,382 from a strict Kantian like yourself 227 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,301 is just about the most ironclad agreement 228 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,679 in the universe. 229 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,138 Okay. 230 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,223 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 231 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:39,101 So, Jianyu, would you like some... 232 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,829 Yo, shut up for a sec. I'm not a Buddhist monk. 233 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,521 My name is Jason Mendoza. 234 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,814 I'm a DJ from Florida, 235 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,441 and I'm not supposed to be here. 236 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,543 You gotta help me out, homie. 237 00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:47,777 I'm scared. 238 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,489 Tea. I was gonna offer you some tea. 239 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,784 Dude, thanks to you, my dream came true. 240 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,578 I have a shiny new butthole. 241 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,705 - You okay, homie? - No! 242 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,749 I've had a stomach ache for a week. 243 00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,500 There have been way too many close calls. 244 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:06,712 Please, I beg you, no more meatball subs. 245 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,007 No more drawing boobs in the dirt. 246 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,842 I cannot lie to cover for you. 247 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,886 Please remember you're supposed to be a monk. 248 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,139 Hey! 249 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,673 Eleanor and Michael are here. 250 00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,059 What a fun surprise. 251 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,727 - You've done some redecorating. - Oh. 252 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:25,564 Uh, yes, my apartment was decorated in one way, 253 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,483 and now it has been... redecorated. 254 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,985 And how's Jianyu? 255 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,986 I mean, you know how monks are. 256 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,489 Calm, peaceful, never, you know, 257 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,157 shotgunning Cheez Whiz. 258 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,760 I mean, what monk would do that? No monk! 259 00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:38,911 Anyway... 260 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,913 I see you guys are still here. 261 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,790 We were just dropping by to ask a favor. 262 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,793 Can you accompany Jianyu to the luau tonight? 263 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:48,462 He still isn't really engaging with the Neighborhood, 264 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,732 and we were hoping you could help him 265 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,340 break out of his shell. 266 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,901 Actually, I don't think I can make it. 267 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,010 Oh, why not? 268 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,013 I just remembered. 269 00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:59,891 I can make it, so I will see you there. 270 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,934 Okay, bye. 271 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,486 Wow! Jason's nailing it. 272 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:15,490 I'm so proud of him. He really opened the jar so to speak. 273 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:16,824 Now comes the fun part. 274 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:20,411 I personally designed every aspect of this party to freak Chidi out. 275 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,496 I even had Janet put tomatoes in everything, 276 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,831 'cause he hates tomatoes. 277 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,876 The debate over whether they're a fruit or a vegetable really stresses him out 278 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,797 I don't understand why John hasn't made more progress. 279 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,881 You've done so much to make him feel special. 280 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,384 I know. I recreated the private tour of the Louvre 281 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,779 where they let you touch all the art. 282 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,554 We rode Aquamans through the water. 283 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,597 I got so many beauty treatments 284 00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:43,476 I fear my hair may be too shiny and lustrous. 285 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,977 We've been getting on quite well, 286 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,522 but every time I bring up self-improvement, 287 00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,065 he just shuts me down. 288 00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,983 I haven't encountered this much resistance 289 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,211 since I tried to get Timothée Chalamet 290 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,569 to go out into the sun. 291 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,196 You know, I looked at John's files again. 292 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,865 He was hardly a shrinking violet. 293 00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,283 If you think he needs help, 294 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,886 maybe you should just tell him directly. 295 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,037 Perhaps you're right. 296 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,622 I shall go on the attack, just like six of the eight 297 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:08,083 "Game of Thrones" characters who were based on me would do. 298 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,252 Yeah. 299 00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:11,218 So how are things going with Chidi? 300 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:12,504 Super easy. 301 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:13,839 All I have to do is be myself, 302 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,340 and he's constantly freaking out. 303 00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:17,343 You have that effect on people, bud. 304 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,904 What else can we do to mess up his life? 305 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,346 Listen, E-dog, 306 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:24,016 I know people don't look to me for plans 307 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,561 or ideas or anything, 308 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:28,177 but maybe we should ease off. 309 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,688 He's pretty stressed already. 310 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,066 Please. He's not even dry-heaving yet. 311 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,525 How many Tums did he take today? 312 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,277 - Like 20. - Pfft, that's nothing. 313 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,713 We don't stop until it's the whole bottle. 314 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,197 Because the more miserable he is, 315 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,948 the more he's going to teach you, 316 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,367 and then everyone, and then he'll save humanity. 317 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:45,370 He's like Superman with nervous diarrhea. 318 00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,554 Get ready. I'm gonna make that speech soon. 319 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,210 Hey, girl. 320 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,753 Want to hit up the spa tomorrow? 321 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,314 I want to try that new "Little Mermaid" treatment, 322 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:55,774 the one where they remove your vocal chords 323 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,518 and it somehow makes your legs look amazing. 324 00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,551 Perhaps, but I was hoping to bend your ear 325 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:00,886 on a more serious matter. 326 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,805 The things you used to write, 327 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,181 frankly 328 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,308 were hurtful. 329 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,184 What? Name one. 330 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,519 I gained five pounds, 331 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,479 and you called me Ta-Hammy All-the-Meals. 332 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,148 I mean, that's just poetry. 333 00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,375 Well, you were so mean to Daniel Day-Lewis, 334 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,525 he quit acting. 335 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,211 Oh, I'm sorry, Was he living in character 336 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,963 as a man who thought he could pull off boot-cut jeans? 337 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,256 You know what? I see what this is. 338 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,739 This has been a fake friendship. 339 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,407 This whole week has just been a wind-up 340 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,534 to a sucker-punch. 341 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,828 No, it hasn't. 342 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,873 I just want you to recognize that your blog hurt people. 343 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,709 And you have a chance to be better here. 344 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,168 B'scuse me? 345 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:35,671 You're telling me to be better? 346 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,983 While you were gallivanting around with your fancy friends, 347 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,717 I lived in the real world, so I had bills to pay. 348 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:43,470 I worked 16 hours a day by myself 349 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:46,265 building a site with millions of readers. 350 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,933 You're the one with issues, sweetheart. 351 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,644 If you spot it, you got it. 352 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,520 Whoosh. 353 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:54,315 That's another deuce for the gossip toilet. 354 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:59,320 Hello and welcome! Is everyone having fun tonight? 355 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,660 We have an exciting activity planned for all of you. 356 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:08,871 You have all been given a magic lava stone. 357 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,790 When you throw them into the bonfire, 358 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:16,003 you will receive whatever your soul most desires. 359 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,379 Ahh. 360 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,964 Step right up, Matilda. 361 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,841 Give it a toss. 362 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,726 My childhood pet, Shell Turtlestein. 363 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,144 Oh, hi! 364 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,478 I want to do that. 365 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:36,523 No, you cannot under any circumstances do that. 366 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,567 Okay, but I gotta do that. 367 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,736 Dude do not... do that. 368 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:44,573 Okay but, I'm gonna, though, probably... 369 00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,382 I'm probably gonna do that. 370 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,369 No! If you throw that stone, 371 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,495 your truest actual desire will appear, 372 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:51,496 and who knows what that is? 373 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,040 I do. 374 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,708 My old motorcycle with Pamela Anderson 375 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,043 airbrushed on the side. 376 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,777 It exploded a week after I got it 377 00:13:57,878 --> 00:14:00,172 because someone wanted to see what would happen 378 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,007 if they poured lighter fluid in the engine. 379 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,300 Was that someone you? 380 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,010 Yep. Turns out it explodes. 381 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,178 Called it. 382 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,930 Look, maybe Jianyu the monk 383 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,223 likes motorcycles. 384 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,016 We don't know his life. 385 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,853 No monk's truest desire is a motorcycle 386 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,854 with Pam Anderson's face painted on it. 387 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,357 Oh, it wasn't her face. 388 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,735 No! 389 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,990 A sexually explicit motorcycle? 390 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,826 Whose rock was that? 391 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:31,703 Yay, it's mine. 392 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:35,082 Jianyu tossed my rock 393 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,501 because he wanted to help me, his friend, 394 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,628 who loves motorcycles 395 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,923 and Canadian TV actress Pamela Anderson. 396 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,510 Thanks, Jianyu. And now I will ride it away. 397 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,890 Can't wait to cruise the streets in this bad boy. 398 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,850 Yeah, man. 399 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,811 Now we're cooking with gas. 400 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,437 Well, this was a huge success. 401 00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,147 Chidi's an absolute mess. 402 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,899 Oh, we should pop open some champagne. 403 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,360 Call those magic ants. 404 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,361 He's clearly being tested like never before. 405 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,530 Yeah, and now we need to ramp up the pressure. 406 00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,740 Tonight, just as he's finally falling asleep, 407 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:11,160 we tell him we've realized there's an imposter. 408 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:14,121 Then we egg his house. No! We tomato his house. 409 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,540 Eleanor, he told an outright lie. 410 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:17,893 We don't want him so freaked out 411 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,376 that he can't help anyone else. 412 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:20,820 I think we did enough for the day. 413 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,462 No way, dude. We can't stop now. 414 00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:24,089 We have to push him to the edge. 415 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:26,384 We have to knead his fragile psyche 416 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,760 until he's hyperventilating and losing his mind. 417 00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:32,055 Hi, guys, um 418 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:33,849 - can we talk? - Yeah. 419 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,725 I need to tell you a secret. 420 00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:36,560 I... 421 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,106 I can't... 422 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,112 No, no, guys, guys, not now. 423 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,868 I Spent my whole life on Earth battling a stomach ache 424 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,221 because I never knew what to do. 425 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,871 And for a while here, that was gone, 426 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,374 but recently, I've been miserable. 427 00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:00,500 Why, Chidi? You're in the Good Place. 428 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,795 I know, but I have this problem, 429 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:06,923 and if I choose option A... 430 00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:09,427 But if I choose option B... 431 00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:11,095 No. 432 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,180 You know, Chidi, 433 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:16,433 sometimes adversity can lead to growth. 434 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,477 Whatever the moral dilemma is, 435 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:21,396 maybe you'll come out on the other side better for it. 436 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,774 Yeah. 437 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:24,941 No. 438 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,105 I'm used to moral dilemmas. 439 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,987 I like moral dilemmas. 440 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,030 They're my jam, but this just feels like I'm... 441 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,449 What? 442 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,825 Like I'm being punished somehow. 443 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,410 And, obviously, I know that's silly. 444 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,787 This is the Good Place. 445 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,390 You two would never do anything to hurt anyone, 446 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:42,209 but I am seriously worried that I did something wrong, 447 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,962 and this is the universe getting back at me. 448 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,424 Oh, no. 449 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,134 What's happening now? 450 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,261 Oh, no. 451 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,261 No, no, no, no, no. 452 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,139 No, I made God cry? 453 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,310 Oh, stomach ache. Welcome back, old friend. 454 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,104 I can't believe John. 455 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,606 The man who once started a protracted Twitter feud 456 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:08,276 with Jacob Tremblay thinks I'm the one with issues? 457 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,320 Maybe you need to be even more direct with him. 458 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,197 Like, punch him in the face. 459 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,907 I don't know. I'm fired up. 460 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,409 You've just been very nice to him 461 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,244 and I don't like the way he's treating you. 462 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,222 Maybe it's not possible. We're just too different. 463 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,581 He spent his life in the bowels of the Internet, 464 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,185 jealous and miserable with no real friends, 465 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,292 while I spent my life 466 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,170 in the upper echelon of society 467 00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:31,091 jealous and miserable with 468 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,051 no real friends. 469 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,636 Oh, Janet. 470 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,739 I've been going about this all wrong. 471 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,181 Exactly. Here you go. 472 00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,849 Oh, uh 473 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,016 no, I'm... 474 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,061 Why? Why are you crying? 475 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,646 This is all my fault. 476 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,065 I promised I'd take care of you, Chidi. 477 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,358 - You did? - Yes. 478 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,027 I promised. 479 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:52,905 Uh, see, Chidi, the Architect is responsible 480 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,448 for the entire Neighborhood, 481 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,451 so a resident suffering in any way, 482 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,077 it's very painful for her. 483 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,955 Actually, come here. Come here. 484 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:03,039 But don't worry. 485 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:05,542 We have a very simple solution for problems here. 486 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:06,626 Oh, good. What is it? 487 00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,336 We eliminate them. 488 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,839 So you just tell us a problem, and we'll eliminate it, 489 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:15,010 like, say you had a problem with that vase. 490 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,262 See? 491 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,847 So just tell me what's bothering you, 492 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,682 I'll wave my hand, it'll explode, 493 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,185 and you can go back to your otherwise perfect life. 494 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,604 Uh 495 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:26,771 The motorcycle. 496 00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:28,773 Yep. That's my problem. 497 00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:30,942 For some reason, it just hasn't been bringing me 498 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,986 as much happiness as maybe it wasn't intended to, 499 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,155 so I'd just as soon get rid of it. 500 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,239 Done. 501 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,534 Oh, not again. 502 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,536 No more motorcycle. Problem solved. 503 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,080 Great. 504 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,249 Uh, Eleanor, I hope you feel better. 505 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,252 No, no, she'll be fine. She'll be fine. 506 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,170 John, I have something to say. 507 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,922 Round two. Let's do this. 508 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,843 In 2007, Blake Lively invited me to a birthday party 509 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,720 held for Leonardo DiCaprio aboard Paul Allen's mega-yacht. 510 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,805 I see we're dropping names three at a time now. 511 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,142 The guest list was 100 of the wealthiest, 512 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,209 most famous members of the glitterati. 513 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,813 Once aboard, I discovered there was a VIP deck. 514 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,397 And within that area, 515 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,107 there was an even more exclusive room 516 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,984 that you could only access with a secret PIN, 517 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,486 which I promptly entered. 518 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,738 And guess who was waiting for me. 519 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,216 I hate to admit it, but I have to know. 520 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,240 Who? 521 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,742 No one. 522 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:21,952 I was the only one there. 523 00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:24,454 The party raged on outside, 524 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:28,124 but I was so obsessed with status that I never left. 525 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,585 I spent the entire night talking to no one. 526 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:31,962 Riveting story. 527 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,588 If only it were longer and sadder. 528 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,132 The point is, 529 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:39,053 if all you care about in the world is the velvet rope, 530 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:42,069 you will always be unhappy no matter which side you're on. 531 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,725 You and I are proof of that. 532 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,852 But now we're here... 533 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:51,148 and we have that chance to symbolically throw that rope 534 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:55,569 over the board into Leonardo DiCaprio's private ocean. 535 00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:00,282 Can we just start over? 536 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,159 Well 537 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:05,913 if we're gonna be friends, I need to say something. 538 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:10,709 I really am sorry for all the posts I wrote about you. 539 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,085 And everything I tweeted. 540 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:14,338 And scrawled on the back of a playbill 541 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:15,649 during the intermission of "Wicked" 542 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:17,257 and had someone pass it to you 543 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,467 and say it was from an anonymous concerned citizen. 544 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:20,636 That was you? 545 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:24,098 Well, my bangs were making my ears look chunky. 546 00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:25,306 That was a fair hit. 547 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,937 It's a lovely night. 548 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:31,745 Would you like to go for a walk? 549 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:39,113 You know, I was just more honest with you than I ever was with Natalie. 550 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:43,200 Natalie was my personal assistant who I forced to be my best friend. 551 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:46,995 Oh I remember her. Bad Botox. 552 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:48,747 Sorry. 553 00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,210 Okay, Jason, new plan. 554 00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,420 Instead of just trying to not get caught, 555 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:56,963 we're going to study ethics. 556 00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,799 I'm going to help you become a good person. 557 00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:01,760 Oh, dope. I always want to get better. 558 00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:04,644 That's why I spent so much of my time at the free clinic. 559 00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:06,180 Hang on. 560 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,504 Just editing my syllabus in my head based on that comment. 561 00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:09,976 This is gonna be awesome. You rule. 562 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:13,104 You're like the Pam Anderson boob motorcycle of people. 563 00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:15,106 Thank you. That's an amazing compliment. 564 00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:18,151 And I'm sorry your actual motorcycle blew up. 565 00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:21,238 Oh, that's okay, homie. That's just what motorcycles do. 566 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:25,576 So Chidi's set with Jason now. 567 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,119 How are you doing? 568 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,829 A little better. 569 00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:30,037 But still terrible. 570 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,831 You were torturing him 571 00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:33,235 because that's what we had to do. 572 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,918 I know. 573 00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:37,671 But I went too far. And what's worse... 574 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,506 I liked it. 575 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,510 Because I'm angry at him. 576 00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:45,428 For leaving me. 577 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:48,098 Which isn't even remotely fair, 578 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:50,032 because he sacrificed himself for us. 579 00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:52,018 But I'm still angry he abandoned me, 580 00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,452 which makes me feel guilty, 581 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:54,771 which makes me angry, 582 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,564 which makes me want to talk to Chidi 583 00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:59,401 because he's the person I go to when I'm angry. 584 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,653 So it's a real fun cycle. 585 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:06,742 I still don't have a grip on the human emotional spectrum. 586 00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:09,869 You guys are often happy when you should be sad 587 00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:11,579 and angry when you should be happy, 588 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,790 and texting when you should be driving, 589 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,500 which is not an emotion, 590 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,544 I know, but it's insane. 591 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,796 The point is, in this case, 592 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,881 even if it's not rational, 593 00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:24,551 you're allowed to feel a little angry. 594 00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:26,594 Let yourself off the hook. 595 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,888 Process it and work your way through it, 596 00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:30,974 and then get your shirt together. 597 00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:32,941 Because we have a lot of work to do. 598 00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:36,104 Morning, all. 599 00:22:36,271 --> 00:22:38,941 Anyone interested in a status report? 600 00:22:39,107 --> 00:22:41,025 I win. I mean, I'll start. 601 00:22:41,109 --> 00:22:43,862 I have made massive progress with John. 602 00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:46,156 Great. Is he gonna join Chidi's class? 603 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:48,283 Philosophy may not be his way forward. 604 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:52,162 Genuine human connection shall be his course of study. 605 00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:53,997 And first up on the syllabus, 606 00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:57,041 he and I will be unironically watching 607 00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:59,878 the Britney Spears movie "Crossroads" together... 608 00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:02,297 And you'll have to trust me, 609 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,883 this is a huge step in the right direction. 610 00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:06,468 Wonderful work, Tahani. 611 00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:09,596 And, Jason, I mean, bravo. 612 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,390 Thanks, guys. 613 00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:13,308 It's been a tough couple weeks, 614 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,268 and it just felt really good to be 615 00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:18,688 brainy and have a useness. 616 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:20,023 Sure, bud. 617 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,233 Well, I think we can finally say 618 00:23:22,317 --> 00:23:23,986 that all four of these mofos 619 00:23:24,152 --> 00:23:27,614 are on the right path, so what's next?