1 00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:03,269 Andy Williams? 2 00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:04,270 Andy Williams? 3 00:00:04,350 --> 00:00:05,970 Fifteen seconds are curtain, Andy. 4 00:00:06,210 --> 00:00:07,710 Terrific, Scooter. I'm all set. 5 00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:11,770 Oh, by the way, Andy, thanks for sharing the dressing room with the Limburger. 6 00:00:12,050 --> 00:00:13,050 Oh, that's all right. 7 00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:15,830 I was warned this was a cheesy show. 8 00:00:21,510 --> 00:00:25,230 It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Andy Williams. 9 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,400 How much do you want not to start? 10 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,080 It's time to get things started. 11 00:01:16,270 --> 00:01:20,230 And we're going to have a wonderful show because tonight's special guest is one 12 00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:22,850 of my all -time favorite people, Mr. Andy Williams. 13 00:01:23,610 --> 00:01:27,630 But first, here is an opening number, My Kind of Door. 14 00:01:35,790 --> 00:01:39,110 Midnight. One more night without sleeping. 15 00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:43,230 Watching. 16 00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:46,250 Till the morning comes creeping. 17 00:01:48,590 --> 00:01:52,870 Green door, what's that secret you're keeping? 18 00:01:55,030 --> 00:02:00,530 There's an old piano and they play it hot behind the green door. Oh, yeah. 19 00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:06,750 I don't know what they're doing, but they laugh a lot behind the green door. 20 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:13,400 Oh, wish they'd let me in so I could find out what's behind the green door. 21 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:14,840 Here goes. 22 00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:16,800 Knocked once. 23 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,680 I tried to tell them I've been here. 24 00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:20,940 No. 25 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,820 A door slams. 26 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,280 Talk is in there. 27 00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:33,240 I wonder what's going on in there. 28 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,940 watching till the morning comes creeping. 29 00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:35,180 Oh, Green Door, what's that secret you're keeping? 30 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:43,400 Green Door, what's that secret you're keeping, huh? 31 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:44,880 Green Door. 32 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,480 At first I thought that number was going to be good, but then... Then what? 33 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,120 Then they raised the curtain. 34 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,400 Well, thank you, but we rehearsed Moon River. 35 00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:42,600 Well, um... Andrew, I have a little secret between you and 36 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:43,600 me. 37 00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:44,660 What? 38 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:46,060 You and me. 39 00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:49,600 I know what it means, but why? 40 00:05:07,310 --> 00:05:08,310 And Kermit. 41 00:05:08,490 --> 00:05:11,510 Kermit? Oh, yes, yes. Kermit, yes, yes. 42 00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:14,690 You will sing Love Story for us, won't you? 43 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,170 Well, of course I will. 44 00:05:16,810 --> 00:05:19,850 The frog and the pig getting married. Yes. 45 00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:23,030 Soon there'll be the patter of tiny... 46 00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:39,450 Now, one of these dancing cheeses seems to be missing. Now, do you know anything 47 00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:40,530 about this dancing cheese? 48 00:05:42,970 --> 00:05:48,390 Rats. Kermit, Kermit, Kermit, Kermit, I wonder if I may make an itsy -bitsy 49 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:51,110 suggestion for tonight's show. I guess so. What is it? 50 00:05:51,730 --> 00:05:55,950 Cancel Moon River and have Andy Williams sing Love Story. Miss Piggy, I can't 51 00:05:55,950 --> 00:05:59,330 just change the running order now. Besides, Andy is associated with Moon 52 00:05:59,450 --> 00:06:02,470 And you know who is associated with Love Story, don't you? 53 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,160 Look, Miss Piggy, the Moon River set is already being moved on stage, so forget 54 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:19,360 it. But Kermit... But Kermit told us to put this on the stage. 55 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,780 Really? I don't care. 56 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,300 Just take that back and bring in the love story set. 57 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:28,600 But if we did that, Kermit would fire us. 58 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:33,260 Would you rather be fired or dismembered? 59 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,260 Dismembered sounds like fun. 60 00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:40,670 We'll take fired. 61 00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:48,030 Ladies and gentlemen, with us tonight is one of the world's great entertainers 62 00:06:48,030 --> 00:06:51,110 and recording artists, and here he is now, Mr. Andy Williams. 63 00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:21,780 The sweet love story that is older than the sea The 64 00:07:21,780 --> 00:07:28,720 simple truth about the love she brings to me Where do 65 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,820 I start? 66 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:40,780 With her first hello she gave me 67 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:44,530 To this empty world of mine. 68 00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:46,970 There'd never be. 69 00:07:47,290 --> 00:07:48,910 Another love. 70 00:07:49,130 --> 00:07:50,670 Another time. 71 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:54,130 She came into my life. 72 00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:57,190 And made the living fine. 73 00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:59,170 She filled. 74 00:08:58,410 --> 00:09:05,410 much i can say till the stars all 75 00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:06,410 burn away 76 00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:29,680 He called up his witnesses at the trial. 77 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:30,960 What trial? 78 00:09:31,060 --> 00:09:33,280 Well, you don't think Annie's going to take this lying down? 79 00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:37,680 Good number. Nice number. 80 00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:39,900 Come here, kids. Don't be angry. 81 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,840 You know how I hate romantic junk like that. 82 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,340 Oh, congratulations, Chief. I wish you all the happiness in the world. 83 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:47,720 You'll need it. 84 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,240 What was that all about? 85 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,000 Oh, 86 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,160 that scooter and his dumb little jokes. 87 00:09:58,570 --> 00:09:59,570 I'm going to play it the way... 88 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,820 have been reported at the edge of town moving towards city center. The cheeses 89 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:53,040 are reported to be smelly and often in the company of crackers. 90 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:59,280 Most of them seem to be moving about on foot, but some cheeses naturally are in 91 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,280 wheels. 92 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:07,820 Time once again for 93 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:14,620 Veterinarian's Hospital, the continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dog. 94 00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:23,480 patient nurse janice here he is dr bob oh dr bob what a cute little bunny i 95 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:28,780 wonder what his name is well he hasn't said what's up doc so it isn't you know 96 00:11:28,780 --> 00:11:35,660 who who doctor it's not who doctors doctor who that's another show oh 97 00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:39,960 oh is he related to dr witch no it's not dr witch it's witch doctor and that's 98 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:40,960 another ball game 99 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:49,750 Rabbit and Costello. 100 00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:53,630 Hey, look, can we get on with this? I'm white, I'm white. 101 00:11:53,850 --> 00:11:55,670 For a very important date? No, 102 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:57,750 that's another rabbit. 103 00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,190 Oh, you're not the white rabbit? 104 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:00,770 No, I'm the wrong rabbit. 105 00:12:01,190 --> 00:12:05,050 Oh, good grief. Now it's Rabbit and Costello. 106 00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:09,270 Dr. Bob, may I remind you this is a hospital? 107 00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:12,890 Oh, I'm glad you did. The way the jokes were dying, I thought it was a morgue. 108 00:12:14,470 --> 00:12:16,850 Hey, hurry up. We all got to get back to the hutch. 109 00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:19,929 rabbits live. 110 00:12:19,930 --> 00:12:24,090 I know that. I even know where it is. It's behind a famous cathedral. 111 00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:28,390 You must have heard of it. The Hutchback of Notre Dame. 112 00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:31,970 That rings a bell. 113 00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:37,810 And so we come to the end of another veterinarian's hospital. 114 00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:43,410 Good. Tune in next week when you'll hear Nurse Janice say... Oh, Dr. Bob, that 115 00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:47,270 was really a long way to go for that last joke. You should have packed a 116 00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:50,360 I ate it behind the cathedral. 117 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:54,400 Oh? Yes. I had the lunch back of Notre Dame. 118 00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,600 Hi, 119 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,840 Sam. Oh, yes, hello. 120 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,000 Still censoring the show, Sam? 121 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,200 Yes, I am. 122 00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:07,380 Have you seen what's happening in the canteen? 123 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:12,560 No. I've noted this down. There are 17 penguins rehearsing for a tap dance 124 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,120 number. Oh, good. 125 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:16,520 Good? Sure, that's what they're supposed to do. 126 00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:19,160 That is not decent family entertainment for this show. 127 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,700 Hey, Sam, why do you do this? 128 00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:24,060 Someone has to do it. 129 00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:28,980 But don't you have a home or something like that? Oh, yes, I have a family. I'm 130 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:30,100 married. Really? 131 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,560 You have a home? Yes, well, my wife and I are separated. 132 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,980 Oh? She flew the coop. 133 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,520 Do you have any kids? We were very close, though. We were very close. 134 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:42,960 Oh, yeah? 135 00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,220 What's her name? 136 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,240 I forgot. 137 00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:48,660 But do you have any kids? 138 00:13:49,020 --> 00:13:52,220 Yes, I have two wonderful kids. Oh. Never write to me. 139 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:54,580 They're in college now. 140 00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:55,779 Uh -huh. 141 00:13:55,780 --> 00:13:57,220 Boys or girls? Mm -hmm, yes. 142 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,560 But one boy. One boy, one girl. 143 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:01,679 Uh -huh, yeah. 144 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:04,340 The boy's in college, uh -huh? Yes. And what does he study? 145 00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:07,780 I'd rather not talk about it. He's studying, uh, 146 00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:10,020 taxidermy. 147 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,520 I see. 148 00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:14,740 That's good, though, huh? 149 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:19,080 No, it's not. Oh, no, that's not very good. I don't know how bad. 150 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,180 Well, how about your daughter? 151 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:26,520 I'd rather not talk about her either. She's living a rather high life there in 152 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:27,520 college. 153 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,880 She's dating an owl. 154 00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,180 Exactly. 155 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,460 Get back to this. What about this? All this. 156 00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:40,010 in decent family entertainment. 157 00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:44,870 There's, besides the penguins, there's dogs singing and pigs, and there's a 158 00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:48,510 cheese singing malaguena. Oh, the cheese. I've got to check and see if the 159 00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:49,510 cheese is ready. Oh, cheese. 160 00:14:51,070 --> 00:14:55,910 You need not worry. As long as Sam the Eagle is here, I shall protect you in 161 00:14:55,910 --> 00:14:57,610 name of decent family entertainment. 162 00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:02,390 Yeah, but how'd you get started in show business? 163 00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:06,030 Well, Scooter, I started singing with my brothers, my three brothers. 164 00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:11,010 in Wall Lake, Iowa, and we called ourselves the Williams Brothers. 165 00:15:11,430 --> 00:15:13,170 Yeah, clever, clever name. 166 00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:18,810 And we used to sing in church, and then we started singing on the radio. 167 00:15:19,090 --> 00:15:22,930 Oh, I guess you sang that old -style music, huh? Well, like acid rock? 168 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:27,470 Yeah, like that. Well, this was way before that, way, way back. We used to 169 00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:29,170 Barbershop Harmon. 170 00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:31,130 Gee, I wish I'd heard that. 171 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:35,780 You've all heard of Virginia, 172 00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:42,680 that noble southern state. 173 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:49,080 Well, very often in Virginia, 174 00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:56,500 all the southern folks get all dressed up. 175 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,219 It's Jubilee time. 176 00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:18,880 It's Jubilee, Jubilee. Get out your Bible book, better get ready to sing. 177 00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:22,860 It's Jubilee, Jubilee. Get out your Bible book, better get ready to sing. 178 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,300 It's Jubilee time. 179 00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:26,220 Folks is gonna be talking tonight. 180 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,200 Folks is gonna be gawking tonight. 181 00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,160 Folks will be cakewalking tonight. 182 00:17:20,109 --> 00:17:20,909 What do you sing? 183 00:17:20,910 --> 00:17:26,390 One, two, three. So you met somebody that let you back on your heels. 184 00:17:26,869 --> 00:17:27,869 Good girl. 185 00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:33,830 I got a girl crazy for me. 186 00:17:34,430 --> 00:17:36,190 She's funny that way. 187 00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:39,210 Wait, wait, listen to this. 188 00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:41,030 Pardon me, boys. 189 00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:44,190 Is this a Chattanooga choo -choo? 190 00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:48,230 And what do you sing? 191 00:17:48,510 --> 00:17:50,730 Well, I don't sing. I'm in a TV series. 192 00:17:51,010 --> 00:17:53,450 What? The Ropfert Files. 193 00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:01,290 Booty booty. 194 00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:02,269 Oh, Mr. 195 00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:03,209 Booty Boopers. 196 00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:04,310 Booty booty booty. 197 00:18:04,730 --> 00:18:05,730 Dr. 198 00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:10,670 Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs where the future is being made today. 199 00:18:11,070 --> 00:18:15,870 Well, it's a well -known fact that some people like doggies and some people like 200 00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:16,870 kitties. 201 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:22,750 Up to now, if you were given the wrong pet, you had to put up with it. But our 202 00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,430 new electronic pet converter solves that problem. 203 00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:29,850 My assistant Beaker is putting an unwanted kitty into the converter. 204 00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:31,590 Yes, go. 205 00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:44,870 That's wonderful, Beaker. And now I throw the switch, and out of the other 206 00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:47,830 comes a cute little puppy dog. 207 00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:54,870 And if you happen to like kitties instead of doggies, the converter works 208 00:18:54,870 --> 00:18:56,610 other way. Show them, Beaker. 209 00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:02,190 Now you can go get your kitty on the other side. 210 00:19:03,110 --> 00:19:07,670 It seems to be some sort of problem. 211 00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:16,970 The important thing to remember is that anything that passes through this door 212 00:19:16,970 --> 00:19:18,790 is turned into a puppy dog. 213 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,980 neat to be sitting here to do a medley with andy williams just like you used to 214 00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:42,360 do on your show huh well thank you kermit uh listen by the way may i ask 215 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:48,740 question why sure what how do you do it do what you mean sit on a stool like 216 00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:54,600 this why uh any any frog can do that well i knew that toads could but uh 217 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:59,800 what do you mean toads well surely you've heard of toadstools 218 00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:08,380 You're still mad at me, aren't you? 219 00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:11,000 Well, you did do Love Story instead of Moon River. 220 00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:14,440 Well, that was Miss Piggy. I mean, she told me that you were engaged. 221 00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:16,120 Well, it was very embarrassing. 222 00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:21,300 Well, would it make you feel any better if you embarrassed me? 223 00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:23,200 Well, no. 224 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:24,920 Go ahead, go ahead. 225 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,820 Oh, no, I couldn't do that. 226 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,600 Okay, let's see. 227 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,500 I don't like your coat. 228 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,320 Good. 229 00:20:35,210 --> 00:20:36,250 Does that make you feel better? 230 00:20:36,530 --> 00:20:38,870 Yeah. Now let's do the medley, huh? Okay. 231 00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:43,550 What don't you like about my coat? 232 00:20:46,570 --> 00:20:48,190 Nothing. I was just saying that. 233 00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:51,770 The sleeves or the lapels or the shoulders or what? No, no, no. 234 00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:53,370 Just forget that, huh? 235 00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:56,150 You're right. 236 00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:58,550 I mean, what would you know about clothes anyway? 237 00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:01,350 All you wear is that stupid collar. 238 00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:05,430 It's a wonder you haven't been arrested. 239 00:21:06,470 --> 00:21:08,090 Okay, that does it. Start the music. 240 00:21:10,190 --> 00:21:12,770 I'm only kidding, Kermit. I love your collar. 241 00:21:13,070 --> 00:21:15,830 Well, actually, I like your coat, too. 242 00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:17,210 What's that? 243 00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:18,650 Except for the buttons. 244 00:21:20,110 --> 00:21:23,050 I knew it was the buttons. 245 00:21:25,970 --> 00:21:27,350 Two of a kind. 246 00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,870 For your information, we're two of a kind. 247 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:38,120 Two of a kind, it's my observation, we're two of a kind. 248 00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:47,040 Dogs in a pond and birds of a feather, alone or together, you'll find that we 249 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:51,540 are two of a kind. 250 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:57,800 I like the swamp in June. 251 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,040 I like a Gershwin, too. 252 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,420 How about you? 253 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:14,660 I love a lily pad when a storm is due. 254 00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:19,700 I like potato chips, mudflats, and skinny dips. 255 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,000 How about you? 256 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:29,020 I don't believe in fretting or grieving. Why mess around with stripes? 257 00:22:29,420 --> 00:22:36,170 I never was cut out. Two -step and spread out Give me the simple life 258 00:22:36,170 --> 00:22:42,870 Some find it pleasant Dining on pheasants Those things roll off my 259 00:22:42,870 --> 00:22:49,670 knife I dine on mosquito Flies are a credo Give me the simple 260 00:22:49,670 --> 00:22:56,350 life I love the piano I love a piano I love to hear somebody 261 00:22:56,350 --> 00:23:01,050 play Up on the piano A grand piano 262 00:23:01,850 --> 00:23:04,330 It simply carries me away. 263 00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:08,830 So you can keep your fiddle and your bow. 264 00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:11,450 Give me a P -I -N -O. 265 00:23:12,050 --> 00:23:18,650 I love to stop right beside an upright or a high -toned baby grand. 266 00:23:19,590 --> 00:23:23,070 We're two of a kind. There's just no denying. 267 00:23:23,330 --> 00:23:25,010 We're two of a kind. 268 00:23:26,790 --> 00:23:30,270 Two of a kind. Without even trying. 269 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,920 We're two of a kind. 270 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,320 Making it plain. 271 00:23:35,980 --> 00:23:37,340 Explaining it fully. 272 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:44,400 We're similar, lonely, and kind. Because we're two of a kind. 273 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,700 Except, of course, that I'm a frog. 274 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:22,940 grater. Oh, good. 275 00:24:23,140 --> 00:24:24,720 And I love the Muppet cheese. 276 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,960 Yeah, well, listen, if you like the cheese, did you get to meet the rats? 277 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:33,220 Well, rats can be fun, but cheese can be fun, too. 278 00:25:16,810 --> 00:25:18,290 I'm gonna see my lawyer. Why? 279 00:25:18,590 --> 00:25:21,310 Gonna find out if you can sue a show for breach of taste.