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Shields and yarn now.

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Fifteen seconds for curtain shields and
yarn now.

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Kermit's finally booked guest stars
weirder than we are.

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It's the Muppet Show with our very
special guest stars, Shields and...

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wrong, police.

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I wish we were, but there's the frog.

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The Muppet Show. Hey, do we have a good
one for you tonight? Don't ask. Of

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course we do.

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Tonight's guest stars are those
phenomenal artists of mime, Shield and

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Boss, boss, bad news about the guest
stars. What is it, Scooter? They're

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machines.

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Shield and Yarnell are robots.

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They are not. They are so.

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They were just moving like this.

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Scooter, watch out for the orchestra
pit. Whoa!

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Right into the tuba.

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Hey, Tiny, would you give a blast on
that thing?

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Good, are you okay?

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Fine, boss.

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Just fine.

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Okay, well, ladies and gentlemen, our
opening number, Take a Chance.

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I did, I did.

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Okay, Take a Chance!

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Take a chance on me.

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If you need me, let me know. Gonna be
around.

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If you got no place to go and you're
feeling down.

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If you're all I know.

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When the 50 birds have no money, I'm
still free.

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Take a chance on me.

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Gonna do my best. Please don't make no
noise.

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You put me to the test if you let me
try.

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Take a

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chance

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on me.

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You keep asking, why are they doing
that?

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Okay, nice number, Bird. Very nice. Hey,
Kermit, do we get paid

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extra for working on the high wire?

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Uh, no.

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Cheat! Cheat!

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Hey, come here. Come here.

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You know, Shields and Yonel have been
teaching me the subtle art of mime.

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Mime, uh -huh. Yeah, hey, watch this,
okay? Tell me what it is.

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Bear walking up stairs.

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Right.

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Okay, watch this, okay? Tell me what
this is now.

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What's that? What's that?

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Fuzzy, look, I'm really kind of busy
right now. Do it again.

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Bear going up escalator.

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You got it.

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Okay, now here is my biggie, okay? Watch
this.

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Bear walking against the wind.

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You weren't even looking.

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I didn't have to. All mimes do walking
against the wind. Fozzie, you've got to

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be more original.

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Okay, well, ladies and gentlemen, our
guest stars tonight are masters in the

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of mime. Here they are doing one of
their classic sketches, robots having

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breakfast. Ladies and gentlemen, Shields
and Yarnell.

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Is that their act?

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Yep. Well, how come they don't talk?

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Because it's mime.

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I thought you said it was theirs.

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Hey, Floyd, what am I doing? What am I
doing? Hey,

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man, I don't know what kind of trip
you're on, but I hope you bought a

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ticket.

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What does that look like I'm doing?

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It looks like you're feeding spaghetti
to an elephant.

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Yeah, right, right. That's exactly
right.

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How many mimes have you seen doing that,
huh?

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Only one, and he got killed doing it.

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Killed? Well, come to think of it, he
wasn't a mime. He was just some guy who

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tried to feed an elephant spaghetti.

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They hate Italian food.

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That's a terrific idea for my finish in
this act. Okay, here. I feed the

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spaghetti, and the elephant takes it.

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and wraps it around my neck and it gets
me knocked out.

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The brain of the bear has gone bye -bye.

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Hi, guys. Mind if I come in?

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Boy, you look happy.

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I'm not happy.

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I'm miserable.

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I gotta come up with an act for next
week's show.

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You guys know the kind of acts I do?

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That's it. That's exactly what I do.

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Listen, if you were me, what would you
recommend?

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He's gonna show me.

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Okay, I think I got it.

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Yes?

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This is... That's fantastic!

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I might pick up every girl.

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You'd think I'd be happy, but I'm not.

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Everybody knows my name. But it's just a

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crazy game. Oh,

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it's lonely at the...

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They're playing just for me.

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Listen to the people praying just for
me.

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I'll just see what these two buckaroos
want.

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What's the matter? Never seen any like a
couple cars before?

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Before, yes. Now, no.

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Mark Tender, get us two sarsaparillas.

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Yes, sir.

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Okay, let's play some poker.

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All right.

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in here mister?

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My father, his finger went off
accidentally.

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all ready with my mime app.

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Oh, good, because you're on next.

107
00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:20,320
Yeah, yeah. Hey, I've really got some
original ones, too. My opening is

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dynamite. Watch this.

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Bear watching a tennis match between two
turtles.

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Fuzzy, that's a little slow for an
opener.

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You're right. I'll switch it to
giraffes.

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That's better.

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Much better.

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Well, it's better.

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Then there is this classic.

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The

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frog

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is shaking his head.

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Shaking his head at the classic bear
going to drive -in movie with porcupine.

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Fozzie. Yes, yes.

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You see, Shields and Yarnell have made a
career out of mine. Yeah? They've

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worked very hard to perfect it, and if
you go out there... Oh, yeah, yeah,

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right. They'll suffer by comparison.

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I understand.

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You do not want me to show up your
guests.

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Tell you what.

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I'll lay back a little.

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No, no, no. Don't do that.

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You're right. I'll give it my best shot.
Come it. It's a cruel business.

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It certainly is. I'll go introduce you.
Okay.

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walking on stage.

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Okay, ladies and gentlemen, tonight our
own Fozzie Bear is making his debut in

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the classic art of mime.

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Ladies and gentlemen, Fozzie Bear!

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Hey, hey, hey, thank you, thank you, and
thank you, Mr.

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Frog. All right, here is my first mime.
Picture, if you will, a bear watching a

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tennis match between two giraffes.

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Between two turtles?

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Huh?

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He is slow.

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All right.

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Now, picture, if you will, a bear at a
drive -in movie with a porcupine.

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Hey, what's the name of the movie
playing at the drive -in?

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I don't know. What's the point?

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You'll find out if you're there with a
porcupine. All right, moving right

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As you all know, elephants hate
spaghetti.

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So with that in mind, picture, if you
will. Wait a minute. Italian elephants

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don't hate spaghetti. They love it.

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00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,980
This is not an Italian elephant.

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This one hates spaghetti. Do you mind?

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See? And then he's got me by the throat.
And then he's trying to kill me.

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You might as well. You've been dying all
night. It'll put you out of your

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misery.

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00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:05,580
It'll put us out of ours, too.

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Why doesn't he do something clever like
walking upstairs or walking against the

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wind? No way. The bear's got no
imagination.

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Okay,

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well, so far we have certainly proved
that our very special guest stars are

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masters of the art of mime. Well, here
they are now to show you they do

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00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:44,380
everything else good, too. Ladies and
gentlemen, chills in your nose!

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00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:19,000
Okay, you want comedy? You got it. It's
animal impression time. Do I hear any

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00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,000
regrets?

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How about a gorilla?

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00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:53,260
No, no, no.

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last line. Ladies and gentlemen, feeding
spaghetti to an elephant.

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Please hold it. This man stole my big
head.

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the Muppet Show. But before we go, let
us have a warm thank you for our very

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00:23:56,460 --> 00:23:59,680
special guest stars, ladies and
gentlemen, the wonderful Shields and

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Yay!

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00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:08,300
Herman, we had an incredible time
tonight.

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00:24:08,540 --> 00:24:12,220
Yeah, we did. And we want to thank
Fozzie Bear for giving us that classic

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sketch, feeding spaghetti to an elk.
That's okay.

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I figure you need some quality material
in your act.

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We do.

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And thanks for showing me that chicken
trick. It really works.

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Come on, girls.

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What?

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Hey, Gonzo, it looks like you've really
been busy.

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Well, my coop runneth over.

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We will see you next time on The Muppet
Show.

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Just when you think this show is
terrible, something wonderful happens.

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What? It ends. Oh!