1
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:36,703
["Rat Race" playing]
2
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:54,054
♪ Well, I wake up in the morning
Each and every day ♪
3
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:59,100
♪ And I sit down at the table
And I hear my daddy say ♪
4
00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:03,021
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
5
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,523
♪ Life is nothing
But a slap in the face ♪
6
00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:08,068
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
7
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,403
♪ Life is nothing
But a fat rat race ♪
8
00:01:10,488 --> 00:01:15,408
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
9
00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:20,830
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
10
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:24,376
♪ Every night I have a dream
That you're taking off your dress ♪
11
00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:29,297
♪ The only thing you're wearing
Is a button on your chest ♪
12
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,093
♪ And the button
It says nothing ♪
13
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:35,762
♪ Life is nothing
But a slap in the face ♪
14
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:38,098
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
15
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,517
♪ Life is nothing
But a fat rat race ♪
16
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:45,438
♪ What is life? ♪
17
00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:48,233
♪ What is life? ♪
18
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,568
- ♪ A rat race ♪
- ♪ A rat race ♪
19
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:55,573
♪ What is life? ♪
20
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:58,368
♪ What is life? ♪
21
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,829
- ♪ A rat race ♪
- ♪ A rat race ♪
22
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:03,456
- ♪ A rat race ♪
- ♪ A rat, rat race ♪
23
00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:07,919
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
24
00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:10,880
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
25
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,092
♪ It's a jungle out there
And I know I don't belong ♪
26
00:02:16,012 --> 00:02:19,055
♪ So all night long
I just sing my stupid song ♪
27
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,601
♪ Get a body out in the rat
In the race ♪
28
00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:26,229
♪ Get a body out in the rat
In the race ♪
29
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,315
♪ Get a body out in the rat... ♪
30
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:32,277
[rapper freestyles]
31
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,029
♪ Jam to the sound of the storm ♪
32
00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:36,114
♪ Coming strictly from
The B-A-H-A-M-A-S ♪
33
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:40,410
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
34
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:45,415
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
35
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,959
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
36
00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:51,129
♪ Life ain't nothing but a big rat race ♪
37
00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,633
♪ Life ain't nothing but a big rat race ♪
38
00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:58,094
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
39
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:00,764
♪ Life is nothing
But a slap in the face ♪
40
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,141
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
41
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,477
♪ Life is nothing
But a fat rat race ♪
42
00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:10,440
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
43
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:15,403
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
44
00:03:15,488 --> 00:03:16,654
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
45
00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:19,532
Hi. I'm checking out. 14322.
46
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,701
[typing]
47
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,120
- Mr. Schaffer?
- That's me.
48
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,872
[machine buzzing]
49
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,665
[receptionist]
I have your bill right here.
50
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:28,917
Great. Thank you.
51
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,710
So, how was your luck last night?
52
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,546
Oh, I don't, uh... I didn't gamble.
53
00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:35,924
I was just here
for a friend's bachelor party.
54
00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:37,550
I guess he's the gambler. [chuckles]
55
00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:43,640
Excuse me. Uh, what's this $110?
56
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,683
Uh, those are your in-room movies.
57
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,144
No, I didn't watch any movies.
58
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,687
Okay. Let's see.
59
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,107
Afro Whores.
60
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:54,609
Afro Whores?
61
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:57,737
- You watched it. Let's see. Uh, 11 times.
- [keyboard clicks]
62
00:03:58,489 --> 00:03:59,823
No. [chuckles] No, no, no, wait...
63
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,699
Afro Whores,2:30.
64
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:03,410
Afro Whores,4:00.
65
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:05,370
- Afro Whores, 5:30.
- Okay.
66
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,997
It says in the morning you watched
The Grinch for ten minutes,
67
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:10,125
and then switched back
over to Afro Whores.
68
00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:11,793
I... I swear, I didn't watch it.
69
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,504
Okay? I was at a bachelor party.
There were 35 people there.
70
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,424
You can ask any of them. You have...
You have to take that off my record.
71
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,384
- This is not a record, sir.
- I...
72
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,511
- You have to delete that.
- Okay. Fine.
73
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,012
How many times did you watch it?
74
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,015
None. I didn't watch it.
75
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,434
- Are you sure?
- [keyboard clicks]
76
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:32,522
"Sizzling three-way back door action
featuring two sexy soul sisters"?
77
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,400
No. I don't need to know
what it's about. I did not watch it!
78
00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:38,695
I didn't.
79
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:43,032
[TV: sportscaster] Drove 500,
and Chipper Jones struck out
80
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,951
as we saw in that key situation.
81
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,830
[continues indistinctly]
82
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:51,499
This month,
he has a one-game winning streak...
83
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:57,672
[man] Miss?
84
00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:59,966
Miss, can I have
another one of these, please?
85
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:04,762
Oh, sorry. [chuckles]
I thought you were a woman.
86
00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:06,055
I am a woman.
87
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,684
[sportscaster continues indistinctly]
88
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,269
You know, you look kind of familiar.
89
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,396
Yeah, you do.
90
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,941
You know, I get that all the time.
91
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:19,444
I guess I just have
one of those faces. [chuckles]
92
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,488
And now, for our "Loser of the Week. "
93
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,156
This week, it's a no-brainer.
94
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,034
Referee, Owen Templeton,
made the biggest bonehead call
95
00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:27,702
in the history of football.
96
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,078
I think everyone remembers.
97
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,623
It happened last Sunday at Dallas,
with the score tied at ten.
98
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:34,417
They were headed towards overtime,
everything was cool,
99
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,628
they were about to toss the coin
to see who would kick off.
100
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,838
- Dallas, call it in the air!
- Tails.
101
00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:40,256
[crowd cheering]
102
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,967
- [Owen] Oh, that's heads.
- [player 1] It was tails!
103
00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:45,094
- No, no, no, it's, uh...
- That was tails!
104
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,305
No. Wait! Hang on! It's, uh...
105
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:48,932
- [player 2] It's head.
- Now, what did I say?
106
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,475
[player 2] It's tails.
107
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,435
- It's heads.
- What are you doing?
108
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,605
- [whistle blowing]
- [crowd booing]
109
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:03,029
[man] Okay, little brother,
just be cool. Just be cool.
110
00:06:16,961 --> 00:06:19,295
Okay. This is it. See that glass?
111
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,422
Walk across the lobby,
112
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:23,967
slip on the glass,
let gravity do the rest.
113
00:06:25,261 --> 00:06:26,886
[garbles] I may break my neck.
114
00:06:26,971 --> 00:06:29,097
It's true, you could break your neck.
115
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:31,015
It's a risk I'm willing to take.
116
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:34,018
[garbles] Why don't you do it? [chuckles]
117
00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:37,105
Because, Einstein,
one of us needs to be the victim,
118
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,857
and one of us needs to be the witness.
119
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,401
What kind of witness would you make?
120
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,945
I'm your own brother. I don't know
what the hell you're saying.
121
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,655
How's your tongue? Let me see it.
122
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,451
[garbles] How does it look?
123
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:54,956
It looks good. It looks much better.
124
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,751
- Oh...
- Okay. Here we go.
125
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:02,171
Remember, we're on Candid Camere,
so, uh, make it look good.
126
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,631
- [exhales]
- Hmm.
127
00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:05,800
[woman screaming]
128
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,553
[woman groaning]
129
00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:12,223
[groaning continues]
130
00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:14,475
- [crowd gasping]
- [woman] Oh.
131
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,853
Excuse me. I'm a lawyer, Gloria Allred.
132
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,731
- What the hell happened here?
- She slipped on that glass.
133
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:22,567
Those arrogant jerks!
They're going to pay for this.
134
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,110
They're gonna pay through the nose.
135
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,863
How's your neck?
I've never seen such negligence.
136
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,698
- This is going to be huge.
- [grunts]
137
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:32,410
- [woman 1 ] She's an angel.
- What a cute little face.
138
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,454
- Would you look at those cheeks!
- Oh, my gosh.
139
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:37,206
- She's absolutely beautiful.
- She has your eyes.
140
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,250
It's the only picture I have of her.
141
00:07:39,335 --> 00:07:41,336
It's all worn out
because I'm always looking at it.
142
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,838
- And you haven't seen her for 27 years?
- [sighs]
143
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,381
[sobs] No, not till today.
144
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:48,593
- She just called you out of the blue?
- No, no. I found her.
145
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:52,013
I hired a detective. [sniffles]
I spent all my money and, uh,
146
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,306
now, we're going to meet.
147
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,016
- [woman 1 ] That's so wonderful.
- [mother] You think she'll recognize me?
148
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,392
[woman 2] Of course, she will, won't she?
149
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,227
- [woman 1 ] Yeah.
- [woman 2] She will.
150
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:00,980
[gasps]
151
00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,292
Vera Baker.
152
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:24,295
My baby!
153
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:25,588
[cell phone ringing]
154
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,173
Oh. Um...
155
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,633
- I'm just...
- [ringing continues]
156
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,344
Excuse me. I have to take this.
157
00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:33,805
- [beeps]
- This is Merrill.
158
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,226
No! That's unacceptable!
159
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,228
Listen, tell Warren
if we don't ship by Tuesday,
160
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:43,106
we won't be in the stores by Mother's Day,
and that's unacceptable!
161
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,149
So don't give me any excuses and do it!
162
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,111
[shouts] Do it!
Just shut up and get it done!
163
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,696
[clattering]
164
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:54,075
Oh, honey, you broke your phone.
[chuckles]
165
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,036
It's okay. I carry extras.
166
00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,330
Oh.
167
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:03,876
- Why don't we sit down?
- Yes.
168
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:15,263
You probably have
a thousand questions for me.
169
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,598
- No.
- I was young.
170
00:09:18,434 --> 00:09:20,435
I didn't tell anybody I was pregnant.
171
00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,103
- And I felt...
- [both sobbing]
172
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,021
...I could handle it at the time.
173
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,356
Hi.
174
00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:27,108
Do you think you gals could just
175
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,985
pull yourselves together
and bring us a drink?
176
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,570
- Oh.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
177
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,156
- Sure.
- Sure. But what would you like?
178
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,699
[both] Mimosa.
179
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,244
[sobbing] They both want a Mimosa.
180
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:43,291
So... you sell cosmetics?
181
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,543
Yeah. I have my own company.
182
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:48,337
- Oh.
- And we're going public.
183
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:51,299
And you're not married?
184
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:56,471
- Lucy Ann said you wouldn't.
- Who?
185
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:57,972
Lucy Ann, she's my psychic.
186
00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:00,141
She's the one who told me
to come look for you.
187
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,976
She said you needed me.
188
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,270
She did?
189
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,730
She said you were lonely,
190
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:09,400
and that you were worried about money,
and that you had trouble sleeping.
191
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,032
Who the hell isn't?
192
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,333
See? I told you we didn't need a bell man.
193
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,835
Yeah, well, congratulations, Randy.
194
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,587
You've avoided another tip. Thank you.
195
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,881
Well, those nickels and dimes
add up, Beverly.
196
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,800
- I call this bed!
- [boy] Hey, no fair!
197
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:36,135
- You gotta pick last night.
- Go to hell, Jason.
198
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:38,137
- [Jason] Make me, nimrod.
- Hey, language, please.
199
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:40,598
- Bev, his and her bathrobes.
- Yes.
200
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:41,849
Oh, look at that view.
201
00:10:41,934 --> 00:10:44,060
- [whistles]
- Yeah, nice view.
202
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,853
Okay, honey, well, uh...
203
00:10:45,938 --> 00:10:47,730
- Hey, why don't you unpack?
- [Beverly] Okay.
204
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,273
And I'm just gonna go look around.
205
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:51,317
Wait, wait, wait.
206
00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,986
You're not going to the casino?
207
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:56,531
No, no. Of course not. Uh...
208
00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,575
You know, I just drove
from the Grand Canyon.
209
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,327
Gotta stretch my legs. [chuckles]
210
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:04,914
You swore to me on your mother's eyes!
We are here to see David Copperfield.
211
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,249
No gambling!
212
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,626
No gambling, I'm just looking around.
[whistles]
213
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:12,588
In fact, I'm, uh,
I'm gonna go to the gift shop.
214
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,299
[Jason] I can jump farther than you.
215
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,844
- [Randy] Hey, uh, I'll see you guys later.
- No way. Watch.
216
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:19,053
[both groan]
217
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,848
- Oh. That's got to hurt.
- [girl groans]
218
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:23,474
Honey! Kids need you.
219
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,519
- Hey, Nick! Nicky!
- Hey.
220
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:27,603
You're not leaving?
221
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,730
- I'm in court on Tuesday.
- No, you're not.
222
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,483
Well, I work for people
who are in court on Tuesday.
223
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:35,111
You pussy! You can't leave, Nick.
It's still going on up there.
224
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,113
Richie, I have to.
I've had two hours' sleep.
225
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,323
Steve Cunningham just got
another stripper, Nicky.
226
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,325
You gotta see this one. She's incredible!
227
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:44,287
- No, I can't, I gotta get back.
- No, you don't, Nick.
228
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,913
I know you, man, you're scared.
229
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,041
You're scared that it's gonna
get out of control up there,
230
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:51,419
someday you'll be up for attorney general,
it'll come back to haunt you.
231
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,129
I'm not having this conversation.
232
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,630
Nick, you didn't even gamble, man.
233
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:57,008
Not one quarter.
That's no way to live, buddy.
234
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:59,260
In fact, that ain't even living.
235
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,804
- It's hiding.
- Okay, I'm not hiding from anything.
236
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:02,889
- Oh, no?
- No.
237
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:05,349
Okay. Then prove it, Nick.
238
00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:08,060
Do something. Anything.
I mean, break one rule.
239
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,313
Uh, here, look. Nick.
240
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,274
A paper. Come on, take it.
241
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:16,027
Take it. Come on, Nick. Take it.
242
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,654
Ah.
243
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:24,785
I have a plane to catch, okay?
I'll see you in Chicago.
244
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,665
- Oh, my God, I won! I won!
- [machine bell rings]
245
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,043
Look at all that money coming down.
246
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,879
Oh. Look, look, look, look!
What's... What's... [stutters]
247
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:39,926
"You're a winner. See Guest Services. "
248
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,596
- [coins rattling]
- What? A dollar?
249
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,269
- Come on, baby! Come on!
- [machine beeps]
250
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:52,229
Yahoo!
251
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,486
[coins rattling]
252
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,037
- Oh.
- Come on.
253
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,748
- [machine dings]
- We won!
254
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,086
- We won one.
- What is this?
255
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,172
This isn't money.
256
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,217
[machine clacking]
257
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,891
- [sighs]
- [clacking]
258
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,726
- [machine beeping]
- Huh!
259
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,734
That's the prize? A free buffet?
260
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,945
Oh, well. No, actually, it's not a buffet.
261
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:44,573
It's a special reception at ten o'clock
in the penthouse conference room...
262
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,284
- Oh.
- ... where, "A spectacular,
263
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:50,037
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
awaits you. "
264
00:13:50,122 --> 00:13:51,497
And, uh, that's all I know.
265
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,959
- What do you think?
- I think it's some kind of scam.
266
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,962
Oh, good, a scam! We'll do it.
267
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,964
All right, great.
I'll need to see some ID then.
268
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,007
Oh, okay.
269
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,474
[coins rattling]
270
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,272
- There! I gambled.
- [machine dings]
271
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:23,946
[Owen] Family vacation, huh?
272
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:26,574
These are the moments
you gotta savor, am I right?
273
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,075
They will never come around again.
274
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,368
- Exactly.
- There you go, sir.
275
00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:32,121
Excuse me, do you know what's going on?
276
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,873
Yeah. Free grub, that's what's going on.
277
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:36,459
This room is fabulous!
278
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,961
Excuse me. Does anybody know
what we're doing here?
279
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,046
Beats me.
280
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,714
[garbling]
281
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,383
Oh, my God! You should sue somebody.
282
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:46,802
[chuckles, garbles] I did it myself.
283
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,763
- What?
- He said he did it himself.
284
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,306
He sent away for a kit.
285
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,600
I knew I recognized you.
286
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,810
You're the referee, the bonehead.
287
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:59,231
Oh, you know, it's just the media
blowing it out of proportion. [chuckles]
288
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:02,693
Well, my hairdresser's husband
lost $800 because of you.
289
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,155
- Everybody thinks we flip quarters.
- Can I have a picture with you?
290
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,657
It's really a commemorative coin. Look.
291
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,284
- Smile!
- [chuckles] You...
292
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,410
[knocking]
293
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:13,954
[in Italian accent] Am I too late?
294
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:18,793
Look, I won a coin. A gold coin.
295
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:22,338
Ah. Isn't this wonderful?
296
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,465
Look at this room.
297
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:28,010
What a beautiful room!
298
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,804
Have you seen this room?
299
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:32,890
Yes. We're in it.
300
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:34,517
[chuckles]
301
00:15:35,811 --> 00:15:38,104
I am Enrico Pollini.
302
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,022
Now, I know what you are thinking.
303
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:43,275
- Enrico is a girl's name.
- No, I wasn't.
304
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,902
No pun intended.
305
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,654
[scoffs] What... What pun is that?
306
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:50,157
Food! Look at all this food.
307
00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:54,495
What a beautiful party! [gasps]
308
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,247
Little cock doggies.
309
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:57,832
They're called cocktail weenies.
310
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,917
Weenies. [chuckles]
311
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:03,963
I'm so sorry. My English is not so good,
but I'm learning.
312
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,340
- Hmm.
- That's it!
313
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,050
Vera, come on. We're out of here.
314
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,677
- Wait! Let me say goodbye.
- [man clears throat]
315
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,262
- [Vera] Bye, y'all.
- [man] Excuse me.
316
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:14,557
Thank you all for coming.
I'm Donald Sinclair. I own this hotel.
317
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,809
We don't have much time.
318
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:20,479
There's a meteor
the size of North Carolina
319
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,314
heading straight for Earth.
320
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:28,904
The impact is going to kill everything
and everyone on this planet.
321
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,282
I built a bunker
in the basement of this casino
322
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,492
strong enough to withstand the blast.
323
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:36,829
There's room for eight people.
I've chosen the seven of you, plus me.
324
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:42,668
When this is over, it will be up to us
to re-populate and re-civilize the planet.
325
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:47,089
- [scoffs]
- [shudders]
326
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:49,675
[laughs]
327
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:54,680
I couldn't resist! [laughs]
328
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:57,057
I'm sorry. [laughs]
329
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,519
[chuckles] A joke.
330
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:03,189
- He made a joke.
- [Donald] Do sit down. Please.
331
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:06,358
Uh, Merrill, you and your mother
can sit over here. [chuckles]
332
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:07,818
How do you know she's my mother?
333
00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:10,321
Alas, there are no secrets
anymore, Merrill.
334
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,573
Actually, that's not quite true.
There is one secret.
335
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,700
One last secret.
336
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:18,370
And it involves all of you.
337
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:22,708
[gasps] I'm getting goose pimples.
338
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,210
- Hey...
- [door opens]
339
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,004
[Donald] Ah, Mr. Schaffer!
340
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,673
Curiosity got the better of you, eh?
341
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:30,841
Come and sit down.
342
00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:33,177
Um, I'm... I'm fine, thanks.
343
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:36,055
Well, you haven't missed anything.
We were just cutting to the chase.
344
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,098
[chuckles] "Cutting to the chase. "
345
00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:39,892
[laughs]
346
00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:46,398
Well, you'll laugh later.
Now, as you know,
347
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:49,109
the odds against winning
a jackpot downstairs
348
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,445
or hitting the state lottery
are astronomical.
349
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,156
I mean, millions to one.
A serious person doesn't even bother.
350
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,282
But today...
351
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:59,578
you have the chance of playing a game
352
00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:02,498
where the odds of winning are one in six.
353
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,209
One in six!
354
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,128
That's one throw...
355
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,633
of the dice.
356
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:15,135
- [chuckles]
- [door opens]
357
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,098
Ah, this is my attorney, Mr. Grisham,
358
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:22,559
tragically was born without a personality.
359
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:25,729
Ah, Mr. Grisham is insisting
that anyone who wishes to participate
360
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:28,482
in our little experiment
should sign this waiver
361
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:31,193
absolving the casino
from any responsibility
362
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,988
for damages, personal liability,
blah, blah, blah.
363
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,031
[chattering]
364
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,242
So, who do you like, Claude?
365
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,371
The young woman in the black coat.
She looks desperate.
366
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,873
Yes. But she has her mother with her.
367
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,001
That could slow her down, hmm?
368
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:48,752
- Perhaps.
- [Donald] Now...
369
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,423
563 miles from here
370
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,801
is a little town
called Silver City, New Mexico.
371
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,178
- Gold rush.
- Quite right, Nick.
372
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,222
Yes, they struck gold there in 1860.
373
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,975
It was the second largest gold rush
in American history.
374
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,768
Very good, Nick.
375
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,979
I think Nick should be our captain.
376
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:14,737
In downtown Silver City, there's
a train station. You can't miss it.
377
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,489
As you go in the front door,
there are some lockers on the right.
378
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:19,575
Mr. Grisham, do you have the keys?
379
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:22,661
Six identical keys.
380
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:28,751
They all open the same locker.
That's locker 001.
381
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,170
Inside the locker is a red duffel bag.
382
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:34,882
Inside the red duffel bag
is two million dollars.
383
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,801
In cash. Fifties and hundreds
makes a pile about...
384
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:39,261
[sniffles]... so big.
385
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:42,890
[sniffles] First one there...
keeps it all.
386
00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,516
- [Donald laughs]
- Cool.
387
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,603
Oh, and I've put little transmitting,
uh, devices in your key rings,
388
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,271
so I can keep track of you.
389
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:52,399
And, uh, that's it. [sniffles]
390
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,401
Go!
391
00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:59,448
You... You can't just pick people
at random!
392
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,702
I can do anything I like, Owen.
I'm eccentric. [growls]
393
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:05,412
- [shouts] Go!
- Wait, wait, wait.
394
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:07,247
So, it... it's like a race?
395
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:12,836
A race? It's a race! I hope I win.
396
00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:16,882
- Um, what are the, uh, rules?
- There's only one rule.
397
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:19,051
Are you ready? Here it is:
398
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:23,764
There are no rules. Go!
399
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,435
- [shouts] Go!
- [Merrill] So now,
400
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:32,856
when you say go, you mean, just go?
401
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:36,443
Ah. Be... Begin, commence,
uh, s... start moving.
402
00:20:36,528 --> 00:20:40,322
You see, theoretically, you have
been racing for about 40 seconds.
403
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,991
And so far, Mr. Schaffer is winning
404
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,994
because he's nearest to the door.
405
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,374
[sighs]
406
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,836
- [all screaming]
- [gunshot]
407
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,671
- [Owen] You're crazy!
- [gasps]
408
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,923
It's a race! A race!
409
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,842
You have to pace yourself.
410
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:03,804
Carbohydrate is important. Pasta is good.
411
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,556
Breathing... [inhales, exhales]
412
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,933
...is important. [inhales, exhales]
413
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:12,438
Scusi. [breathes deeply]
One, two, three...
414
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:13,647
It's some sort of joke.
415
00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,149
- It has to be.
- [man] Yeah.
416
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:18,444
What kind of jackass just
gives away two million dollars?
417
00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:21,155
- Well, maybe it's a publicity stunt.
- [Enrico panting]
418
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:24,324
What kind of publicity?
He swore us all to secrecy.
419
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:27,286
- Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt.
- [scoffs]
420
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:29,455
A secret publicity stunt?
421
00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:30,956
- [Merrill] Yes.
- [panting continues]
422
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,125
I don't know what his angle is,
but there's always an angle.
423
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,877
Donald Sinclair, people like him
424
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:38,839
make millions of dollars every day
playing people like us for chumps.
425
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:41,300
- I'm nobody's chump.
- [Randy] So, you don't believe him.
426
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:45,179
11:30 nonstop to Chicago.
I'm gonna be on it.
427
00:21:45,263 --> 00:21:48,182
- [Enrico breathing heavily]
- You know what, he's right.
428
00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:50,684
I'm not cutting short
my first family vacation in three years
429
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:53,312
to go on some half-assed
wild goose chase.
430
00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:57,149
Okay. So... you're not going for it?
431
00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,109
- No.
- No.
432
00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:00,861
[garbles] I don't think so!
433
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:01,945
[Vera] Not me. No.
434
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,489
- [Owen] No, great.
- [button clicking]
435
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:06,074
- [Randy] Well, I guess that's that, huh?
- [Owen] Great.
436
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,785
Well, it was nice meeting you all.
I'm going to take the stairs.
437
00:22:08,870 --> 00:22:11,997
My room's just two floors down,
so, nice meeting you.
438
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:13,499
Hey, have a nice vacation.
439
00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,675
You know, it's probably stuck.
440
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:27,179
I think I'm gonna take the stairs too.
441
00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:36,480
["Who Let the Dogs Out" playing]
442
00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:39,608
[grunts]
443
00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:41,652
[Owen] Go, go, go, go, go, go!
444
00:22:41,736 --> 00:22:43,612
- [Merrill] Come on, Vera!
- [Vera groaning]
445
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,283
[Merrill] Watch it!
446
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:50,118
[all groaning]
447
00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:52,829
[Merrill] Coming through.
448
00:22:53,623 --> 00:22:55,040
- [Vera] Oh! Oh!
- [Merrill screams]
449
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:57,584
[all clamoring]
450
00:22:57,669 --> 00:22:59,711
- [elevator dings]
- Hold the door, please?
451
00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:01,922
Take your time. No rush.
452
00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:04,925
- Get up!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
453
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,510
This is crazy.
454
00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:09,680
Listen, if we're all gonna go for it,
why don't we go for it together?
455
00:23:09,764 --> 00:23:12,766
You know, like, split the money 50-50?
456
00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,434
[garbles] Fifty-fifty?
457
00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:16,645
Oh, you know, I mean 50-50.
Whatever, whatever.
458
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,647
Yes, yes, yes, that's a good plan.
459
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:21,817
It's a race, it's a race!
460
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:24,111
I'm winning, I'm winning!
461
00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:28,198
[all shouting]
462
00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:30,033
And they're off!
463
00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:31,368
[all chuckling]
464
00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:32,995
No one, gentlemen, no one...
465
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:36,331
is offering you action like this.
466
00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:40,419
A horse race with animals
that can think and plan and lie
467
00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:44,756
and cheat... and play dirty? [scoffs]
468
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:47,593
It's the gambling experience
of a lifetime,
469
00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:49,177
and it's my way of saying...
470
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:52,180
I understand men like you.
471
00:23:52,265 --> 00:23:54,099
I know what you want.
I know what you need.
472
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:58,145
This casino, my casino...
is where you belong.
473
00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:02,232
- My cab!
- [woman screams]
474
00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:03,817
[man] Excuse me.
475
00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:06,194
- To the airport.
- You got it.
476
00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:08,780
We're out the door.
I don't see you. Where are you?
477
00:24:08,865 --> 00:24:10,699
I forgot to tip the maid.
I always tip the maid.
478
00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:12,451
- Forget about the maid, Vera.
- Okay.
479
00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:14,286
- There he is! Come on!
- Oh, oh.
480
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:15,829
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Let's... Let's go.
481
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:21,168
Bev, this is a real job. I swear!
482
00:24:22,837 --> 00:24:23,920
What is it?
483
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:27,132
- Huh?
- The job? What's the job?
484
00:24:30,386 --> 00:24:32,679
Ink. For fountain pens.
485
00:24:35,266 --> 00:24:36,433
And they're in New Mexico?
486
00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:38,101
Silver City, New Mexico.
487
00:24:38,186 --> 00:24:41,897
But I... I love New Mexico.
Honey, we'll go with you.
488
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:44,733
- [stutters] No!
- Why not?
489
00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:47,819
Because we've already paid for the room.
490
00:24:47,904 --> 00:24:50,739
- Ah! Now, look who's wasting money!
- No, no, no, no.
491
00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:52,282
This was your idea to stop here.
492
00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:54,951
I don't care about David Copperfield.
This is our family vacation.
493
00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:56,828
- We'll go with you.
- But you don't understand.
494
00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:59,373
[shouts] We will go with you!
495
00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:01,625
The...
496
00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,835
- [mumbles] Fine.
- Yes!
497
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,421
Fine. Here. Call the bellman,
have him bring the van around.
498
00:25:06,506 --> 00:25:09,007
Okay? Happy? Happy? [groans]
499
00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:12,844
[Enrico] Scusi. Scusi.
I'm in a race. Scusi.
500
00:25:12,929 --> 00:25:15,681
Mmm. Scusi. It's a race.
501
00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:17,974
[panting]
502
00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:23,772
[snoring]
503
00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:33,448
- What is he doing?
- I think he's sleeping.
504
00:25:34,158 --> 00:25:36,243
- Slee... sleeping?
- Well, he must be narcoleptic.
505
00:25:36,327 --> 00:25:38,161
It's a... a rare sleeping disorder.
506
00:25:38,246 --> 00:25:41,540
- But... but I... I bet on him!
- So did I. Two million dollars.
507
00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:44,084
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
All the bets are locked in.
508
00:25:44,168 --> 00:25:46,211
- [laughing]
- Sleeping! Sleeping!
509
00:25:48,131 --> 00:25:51,925
- [tires screeching]
- [horns honking]
510
00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:54,636
[horns honking]
511
00:25:54,721 --> 00:25:56,805
- Look out!
- Don't tell me how to drive!
512
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:58,515
[Owen] It's only yellow. Run it!
513
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,269
[Jason] Where's my video game?
514
00:26:02,353 --> 00:26:04,104
Seat belts, seat belts, everyone.
515
00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:06,773
- Honey, what is the rush?
- I don't want to be late.
516
00:26:06,858 --> 00:26:08,692
This is the opportunity of a lifetime.
517
00:26:08,776 --> 00:26:11,445
You're not just a travel agent, Roger.
You're an angel.
518
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:13,989
There's one charter plane
available in Las Vegas,
519
00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:16,241
- and we just bagged it.
- Oh. [chuckles]
520
00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:18,201
- [man on radio] Back to pass.
- Get rid of it.
521
00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:19,786
- Looks to his left...
- Get rid of it.
522
00:26:19,871 --> 00:26:21,788
[shouts] Throw the ball!
523
00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:23,582
That's why you're not gonna get drafted!
524
00:26:23,666 --> 00:26:26,418
You'll be lucky to play
arena football in Barcelona!
525
00:26:27,879 --> 00:26:30,422
- You like football?
- Sure.
526
00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:34,509
Did you happen to catch that,
uh, Dallas game last week?
527
00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:36,678
Uh, you can't really call it a game, eh?
528
00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:39,473
It was an obscenity.
It was a crime against football.
529
00:26:39,557 --> 00:26:42,517
I lost 20 grand on that game!
And they would have won!
530
00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:45,979
Now I've got to work two shifts
because of that idiot.
531
00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:48,899
I mean, Stevie Wonder could have done
a better job calling that game.
532
00:26:50,902 --> 00:26:52,360
[airplane engine roaring]
533
00:26:52,445 --> 00:26:54,362
Where the hell's the airport?
534
00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:56,114
[tires screech]
535
00:26:56,199 --> 00:26:57,699
[driver] One lousy flip of the coin
536
00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,951
and the whole franchise
goes straight down the crapper.
537
00:27:00,036 --> 00:27:02,204
- That will be ten-fifty, buddy.
- Okay, keep the change.
538
00:27:02,288 --> 00:27:05,457
Hey, hey, hey! Thanks a lot.
You have a nice flight!
539
00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:07,250
Yeah! Whoo!
540
00:27:07,335 --> 00:27:09,044
- Hey, do you know who that was?
- Nah.
541
00:27:09,128 --> 00:27:10,337
That was the ref.
542
00:27:10,421 --> 00:27:13,215
The guy from the game. The coin toss.
543
00:27:13,299 --> 00:27:15,467
Oh, my God, you're right!
544
00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:18,470
That was him! I had him
in the cab and I let him go!
545
00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:20,388
- [Beverly] Where are we going?
- [Randy] We gotta go. Come on.
546
00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:22,891
- Just go. Go, go, go, go, go.
- [Jason, Kimberly groaning]
547
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:24,100
Chumps!
548
00:27:25,144 --> 00:27:26,812
[keys jingling]
549
00:27:33,361 --> 00:27:34,361
[woman sneezes]
550
00:27:50,044 --> 00:27:52,170
Excuse me. Hi.
551
00:27:52,922 --> 00:27:56,341
- I'm not a creep or anything.
- I don't have any quarters.
552
00:27:57,260 --> 00:27:59,344
Oh, no. Um, no. I... I never do this,
553
00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:01,930
but I'm reading
the same book you are. Look.
554
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:04,724
- See? Lindbergh.
- Mmm.
555
00:28:04,809 --> 00:28:06,393
- It's fantastic, isn't it?
- Mm-hmm.
556
00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:08,270
What part are you on?
557
00:28:08,354 --> 00:28:10,063
He just had a sex change.
558
00:28:10,147 --> 00:28:12,566
- Who did? Lindbergh?
- Mm-hmm.
559
00:28:12,650 --> 00:28:14,734
- A sex change?
- Oh, yeah. Hmm.
560
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,280
[chuckles]
561
00:28:19,657 --> 00:28:21,116
- That's funny.
- I thought so.
562
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,493
That's funny. I wouldn't be
too proud of yourself, though.
563
00:28:23,578 --> 00:28:26,037
See, I'm the most gullible guy in Chicago.
564
00:28:26,998 --> 00:28:27,998
Uh-huh.
565
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:33,712
- Can I buy you a drink?
- I can't. I'm flying.
566
00:28:33,796 --> 00:28:37,090
- Oh, it'll relax you.
- No, no. I mean, I'm flying.
567
00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:38,884
I'm a pilot.
568
00:28:39,886 --> 00:28:41,511
Oh. Ah.
569
00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:45,098
Pilot? Are there a lot of female pilots?
570
00:28:46,309 --> 00:28:47,767
There's at least one.
571
00:28:47,852 --> 00:28:48,852
[chuckles]
572
00:28:51,397 --> 00:28:54,357
As soon as I walk away, I'm gonna think
of something great to say to that.
573
00:28:54,442 --> 00:28:55,525
Good.
574
00:28:55,610 --> 00:28:57,068
[whispering] Mail it to me.
575
00:28:57,153 --> 00:28:58,236
[chuckles]
576
00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:04,492
Flight 115 to Albuquerque, New Mexico.
577
00:29:04,577 --> 00:29:05,994
- Thank you.
- You'd better hurry.
578
00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:08,288
Yeah, four tickets to Albuquerque. Please.
579
00:29:08,372 --> 00:29:10,457
Near the front of the plane. Please.
580
00:29:10,541 --> 00:29:12,500
- [ticket agent] Let's see here.
- Come on!
581
00:29:12,585 --> 00:29:14,586
[Vera] This is so exciting!
582
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:18,632
I've never been on a private plane before.
This is bigger than my condo.
583
00:29:18,716 --> 00:29:20,216
[Merrill] Gentlemen, what's our ETA?
584
00:29:20,301 --> 00:29:22,552
- Uh, one hour and ten minutes.
- [plane engine whirring]
585
00:29:22,637 --> 00:29:24,638
If you can do it in less than an hour,
I'll buy you both dinner.
586
00:29:24,722 --> 00:29:26,431
- You're on!
- [both groan]
587
00:29:26,515 --> 00:29:28,141
Watch it! Move! Excuse me.
588
00:29:28,225 --> 00:29:29,976
[man garbles] Move! Move!
Out of the way!
589
00:29:30,061 --> 00:29:31,394
- Who was next?
- I was.
590
00:29:31,479 --> 00:29:32,812
- I was!
- I was!
591
00:29:32,897 --> 00:29:35,565
- What? You were not next!
- Are you calling me a liar?
592
00:29:35,650 --> 00:29:37,067
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.
593
00:29:37,151 --> 00:29:38,902
We've been in line back here
over 20 minutes.
594
00:29:38,986 --> 00:29:41,696
Okay. Hold on. Is that the correct time?
595
00:29:41,781 --> 00:29:42,989
- [man grunts]
- Whoa.
596
00:29:43,074 --> 00:29:44,157
Yes, it is.
597
00:29:46,202 --> 00:29:48,119
- Who's next?
- They were, right there.
598
00:29:48,204 --> 00:29:49,454
Two tickets to Albuquerque.
599
00:29:49,538 --> 00:29:51,247
- [typing]
- [computer beeps]
600
00:29:51,332 --> 00:29:54,125
Sorry. Ouch. We're completely booked.
601
00:29:54,210 --> 00:29:55,710
- There's nothing.
- [computer beeps]
602
00:29:55,795 --> 00:29:58,546
Oh, there's a 4:30,
but you have to switch in Dallas.
603
00:29:59,799 --> 00:30:01,341
[garbles] All right. That's it.
604
00:30:03,219 --> 00:30:05,804
What do you mean, "That's it"?
I'm not giving up.
605
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:09,182
And neither are you. And neither am I.
606
00:30:09,976 --> 00:30:11,768
I'll tell you something, brother.
607
00:30:11,852 --> 00:30:15,605
If we're not flying out of here,
nobody's flying out of here.
608
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:22,195
[exhales]
609
00:30:41,132 --> 00:30:43,842
[grunting]
610
00:30:44,719 --> 00:30:46,052
Oh. [shudders]
611
00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:48,763
[breathes heavily]
612
00:30:50,641 --> 00:30:51,641
[grunts]
613
00:30:53,436 --> 00:30:54,644
[engine starts]
614
00:30:54,729 --> 00:30:57,230
[car engine revving]
615
00:30:57,314 --> 00:30:58,982
[metal clanking]
616
00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:04,237
[grunts]
617
00:31:07,450 --> 00:31:08,575
Whoo!
618
00:31:08,659 --> 00:31:10,577
[laughs, garbles] Okay!
619
00:31:13,164 --> 00:31:15,498
[alarm buzzing]
620
00:31:15,583 --> 00:31:17,208
Well, that can't be good.
621
00:31:24,592 --> 00:31:25,633
Duane!
622
00:31:30,931 --> 00:31:31,931
Ooh.
623
00:31:35,436 --> 00:31:37,145
- Whoa. Whoa.
- [gear grinding]
624
00:31:40,024 --> 00:31:42,317
[Duane groans] No!
625
00:31:45,654 --> 00:31:46,988
[screams]
626
00:31:47,073 --> 00:31:49,115
[panting]
627
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,743
[Duane] Blaine! Blaine!
628
00:31:54,789 --> 00:31:58,458
[Duane] Oh. Oh. No! Shit!
Shit! Shit! Shit! Ah!
629
00:31:58,542 --> 00:32:00,919
- [Blaine] Oh!
- Blaine!
630
00:32:01,003 --> 00:32:02,837
[groans] Oh.
631
00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:06,466
[groans] Shit!
632
00:32:07,593 --> 00:32:09,803
[screams]
633
00:32:10,721 --> 00:32:13,139
- [Blaine] Let it go!
- [Duane grunts]
634
00:32:13,224 --> 00:32:15,016
[Blaine garbles] Duane, are you all right?
635
00:32:15,101 --> 00:32:17,268
Get out! Duane, stop the car!
636
00:32:17,353 --> 00:32:18,645
[Duane] I can't!
637
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:20,688
[screams]
638
00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:22,774
Duane, what are you doing?
639
00:32:22,858 --> 00:32:25,401
- I got nowhere to go!
- [Duane] Move!
640
00:32:25,486 --> 00:32:26,903
[Blaine garbles] Trying to kill me?
641
00:32:26,987 --> 00:32:29,322
Duane, stop the car!
642
00:32:29,406 --> 00:32:30,657
Stop the car!
643
00:32:31,367 --> 00:32:33,535
- Oh, no. No.
- [Duane] No.
644
00:32:33,619 --> 00:32:34,953
[Blaine groans] Oh!
645
00:32:37,206 --> 00:32:38,790
[Duane] Blaine, Blaine.
646
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:41,251
[creaking]
647
00:32:47,007 --> 00:32:49,884
- [Blaine screams, groans]
- [groans]
648
00:32:51,095 --> 00:32:53,096
[groaning]
649
00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:54,681
[crying]
650
00:32:56,392 --> 00:32:58,643
[crying]
651
00:32:59,770 --> 00:33:01,479
Now freeze everything, every flight.
652
00:33:01,564 --> 00:33:03,189
Get me Central Operations.
653
00:33:03,274 --> 00:33:05,400
[Blaine groans, screams]
654
00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:07,193
[P A.. woman] Attention, all passengers!
655
00:33:07,278 --> 00:33:09,821
Due to a technical problem
with our radar tracking system,
656
00:33:09,905 --> 00:33:12,490
all flights are postponed
until further notice.
657
00:33:12,575 --> 00:33:14,617
We apologize for any inconvenience.
658
00:33:14,702 --> 00:33:15,743
[system beeping]
659
00:33:16,662 --> 00:33:18,246
Come on, we gotta go! We gotta go!
660
00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:20,039
- Hurry up! Let's go.
- [Jason] Wait, Dad.
661
00:33:20,124 --> 00:33:21,624
[Randy] Forget the bags. Let's go!
662
00:33:21,709 --> 00:33:23,042
[Owen] Coming through!
663
00:33:23,127 --> 00:33:25,003
Oh! [screams]
664
00:33:25,087 --> 00:33:27,088
- This is your license?
- Yes, it is.
665
00:33:29,216 --> 00:33:31,176
- Where was it issued?
- In Guam.
666
00:33:31,260 --> 00:33:33,678
- [horn honks]
- [engine screeching]
667
00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:37,891
Just head east. And I'm in a hurry!
668
00:33:38,809 --> 00:33:40,643
Hello, again.
669
00:33:41,729 --> 00:33:43,188
East it is.
670
00:33:43,272 --> 00:33:44,647
[tires squeal]
671
00:33:44,732 --> 00:33:47,775
We have a, uh, mid-sized Caprice.
672
00:33:47,860 --> 00:33:50,570
- What color is it?
- We don't care about color.
673
00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:53,156
Just give us whatever car
is parked closest to the door.
674
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,616
Ask about insurance.
675
00:33:55,951 --> 00:33:59,120
Would you be interested in purchasing
liability insurance?
676
00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:00,413
How much is it?
677
00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:03,291
It doesn't matter.
We'll take it. Just hurry.
678
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:06,628
- [typing]
- [computer beeps]
679
00:34:07,588 --> 00:34:09,047
- Hit enter.
- [computer beeps]
680
00:34:09,131 --> 00:34:10,256
Now shift.
681
00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:13,718
- [computer beeps]
- Shift key, right there.
682
00:34:13,802 --> 00:34:17,722
- [Duane laughs]
- [Blaine laughs] Whoo!
683
00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:18,890
[man] Hey, watch it!
684
00:34:18,974 --> 00:34:21,100
- [tires squealing]
- [Merrill] Bus! White people!
685
00:34:23,229 --> 00:34:25,939
- [Beverly] Oh!
- [Randy] Idiot!
686
00:34:27,233 --> 00:34:28,733
Okay. I've got one.
687
00:34:30,736 --> 00:34:32,487
- What?
- A great comeback.
688
00:34:32,571 --> 00:34:34,739
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.
689
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,991
I said,
"Are there a lot of female pilots?"
690
00:34:37,076 --> 00:34:38,910
And you said, "There's at least one. "
691
00:34:38,994 --> 00:34:41,454
I should have said,
"Two, if you count Lindbergh. "
692
00:34:43,874 --> 00:34:45,583
Because you said he had a sex change.
693
00:34:46,502 --> 00:34:48,169
- It's a work in progress.
- [chuckles] Okay.
694
00:34:48,254 --> 00:34:50,588
- I'm Nick Schaffer.
- Tracy Faucet.
695
00:34:50,673 --> 00:34:52,632
So, I guess you can have that drink now.
696
00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:56,177
No. I told you I'm flying. I'm...
I'm leaving for Roswell in five minutes.
697
00:34:56,262 --> 00:34:58,513
Oh, didn't you hear? Everybody's grounded.
698
00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:00,682
Oh, no. That's only for fixed wing.
699
00:35:00,766 --> 00:35:02,725
I'm in a chopper,
we use a different system.
700
00:35:02,810 --> 00:35:03,851
Oh.
701
00:35:09,066 --> 00:35:11,401
- Roswell, New Mexico?
- [Tracy] Uh-huh.
702
00:35:12,903 --> 00:35:14,112
You're flying to New Mexico?
703
00:35:14,196 --> 00:35:16,656
Yeah. We've been flying down all week.
704
00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:18,241
They're repainting the whole fleet.
705
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:25,665
You can fly. Nobody else can fly.
706
00:35:26,667 --> 00:35:28,042
But you can fly.
707
00:35:29,878 --> 00:35:32,130
- And you're flying to New Mexico.
- [Tracy] Yeah.
708
00:35:32,923 --> 00:35:36,009
- But nobody else can fly.
- [Tracy] Yeah.
709
00:35:36,093 --> 00:35:37,552
Do you need a ride?
710
00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:44,392
Come on! [groans]
711
00:35:50,899 --> 00:35:52,191
- Coconut.
- Coconut.
712
00:35:52,276 --> 00:35:53,568
Who had coconut?
713
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:55,069
- I did.
- Oh.
714
00:35:56,530 --> 00:35:57,655
Ah, Phil.
715
00:35:59,992 --> 00:36:01,909
[Jason] That's the kind of car
that I'm getting.
716
00:36:01,994 --> 00:36:04,829
- Yeah? Don't count on it.
- Why not?
717
00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:07,832
Because the Volkswagen Beetle
was used by the Nazis.
718
00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:11,002
I would not be comfortable
driving around in one.
719
00:36:11,086 --> 00:36:13,588
So, don't drive it. I will.
720
00:36:13,672 --> 00:36:17,050
- Dad, I have to go.
- No, you don't.
721
00:36:17,134 --> 00:36:20,511
- Yes, I do. I really do.
- We just stopped!
722
00:36:20,596 --> 00:36:23,598
I couldn't go. The bathroom was too gross.
723
00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:27,810
- Well, can't you hold it in?
- I can't. It's an emergency!
724
00:36:27,895 --> 00:36:31,064
- [Beverly] Honey, there's a restaurant.
- No, that's three miles off the road.
725
00:36:31,148 --> 00:36:32,982
And then three miles back.
We lose ten minutes.
726
00:36:33,067 --> 00:36:35,318
So what? Your daughter
has to go to the bathroom.
727
00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:37,153
- Please stop, Dad...
- All right, all right.
728
00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:39,280
Jason, just look back there
for an empty jar.
729
00:36:40,366 --> 00:36:42,408
A jar? Girls don't pee in jars.
730
00:36:42,493 --> 00:36:44,202
Oh, all right, sorry.
731
00:36:44,286 --> 00:36:47,372
Jason, we're going to need a jar
and a funnel.
732
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:50,833
Dad, I don't have to pee. It's number two!
733
00:36:50,918 --> 00:36:52,251
Sorry, I can't stop.
734
00:36:52,336 --> 00:36:55,338
Dad, I'm prairie-dogging it.
735
00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:56,798
What the hell does that mean?
736
00:36:56,882 --> 00:37:00,593
You know, like when a prairie dog
sticks his head in and out of the ground.
737
00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:02,261
[Randy] Hmm.
738
00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:05,181
- Oh.
- Oh. Ow.
739
00:37:05,265 --> 00:37:07,600
- [Randy] I do not wanna picture that!
- [Beverly] Uh, no!
740
00:37:09,228 --> 00:37:12,438
Yes, sir. Silver City it is, buddy.
741
00:37:13,524 --> 00:37:15,691
It's about 700 miles.
You don't mind, do you?
742
00:37:15,776 --> 00:37:18,027
Oh, no. No, no, no, I don't mind.
743
00:37:19,405 --> 00:37:21,906
A job, it's just another job for me.
744
00:37:22,783 --> 00:37:25,076
About how much do you think
that's gonna cost?
745
00:37:25,953 --> 00:37:27,495
I wouldn't worry about it.
746
00:37:28,789 --> 00:37:29,914
Tell you what...
747
00:37:30,791 --> 00:37:33,668
you just pay me
whatever you think is fair.
748
00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:38,673
Because... I trust your judgment.
749
00:37:38,757 --> 00:37:39,799
Huh.
750
00:37:39,883 --> 00:37:43,803
- I hate you! I hate you!
- [Randy] All right. Nobody look.
751
00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:46,222
I'm gonna turn on the radio, honey,
so nobody can hear you.
752
00:37:46,306 --> 00:37:47,682
[Kimberly] I'll never forget this.
753
00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:49,350
- I hate you.
- [radio: music playing]
754
00:37:49,435 --> 00:37:51,894
[Randy] Okay, nobody can hear you, honey.
Push away.
755
00:37:54,857 --> 00:37:57,525
- [helicopter whirring]
- [Nick chuckles]
756
00:37:57,609 --> 00:38:00,445
[laughs] Whoo-hoo!
757
00:38:00,529 --> 00:38:02,029
I'm gonna drop you off right there.
758
00:38:02,114 --> 00:38:04,866
- There's a parking lot near the hospital.
- Great. Great.
759
00:38:06,118 --> 00:38:07,243
So, what's wrong with her?
760
00:38:07,327 --> 00:38:10,204
- Who?
- Your sister. You said it was serious.
761
00:38:11,498 --> 00:38:14,667
Oh, uh, yeah. Shark bite.
762
00:38:16,211 --> 00:38:18,963
- A shark bite?
- Yeah.
763
00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:20,798
They took her to Silver City?
764
00:38:21,675 --> 00:38:25,094
Yeah. Well, they have a really
good shark attack unit there.
765
00:38:31,393 --> 00:38:34,187
[chuckles, clears throat]
How fast was I going?
766
00:38:35,939 --> 00:38:36,939
Mmm.
767
00:38:42,321 --> 00:38:44,155
Where are we?
768
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:46,574
[driver] Oh, it's a...
it's a shortcut I know.
769
00:38:46,658 --> 00:38:49,076
Well, maybe we should stick
to the highway.
770
00:38:49,161 --> 00:38:50,495
Huh, there's a thought.
771
00:38:50,579 --> 00:38:52,872
You say we should stick to the highway,
772
00:38:52,956 --> 00:38:54,957
I say we should take my shortcut.
773
00:38:55,042 --> 00:38:58,377
Why don't we just flip a coin?
774
00:38:58,462 --> 00:39:00,630
- [Owen] No! It's not what you think!
- [driver] Come here you...
775
00:39:00,714 --> 00:39:02,590
- [Owen] No, wait! Stop it!
- ... blind son of a bitch!
776
00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:05,259
- Where's that whistle?
- [Owen] Hey! Wait! Wait!
777
00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:06,886
I'm gonna shove it up your ass!
778
00:39:06,970 --> 00:39:09,180
- [Owen screams] Come back here!
- [driver] Arrivederci.
779
00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:12,350
[groaning]
780
00:39:12,434 --> 00:39:15,228
Oh, sh... Oh, shit! Oh! Ah. Oh.
781
00:39:15,312 --> 00:39:18,856
Oh, ah. I'll kill him! [groans]
782
00:39:20,025 --> 00:39:22,401
[groaning continues]
783
00:39:25,864 --> 00:39:27,073
[screams]
784
00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:38,793
Squirrel?
785
00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:41,879
No, thank you.
We're looking for the interstate.
786
00:39:41,964 --> 00:39:44,507
Uh, I get that a lot
because of the detour.
787
00:39:44,591 --> 00:39:46,717
- [squirrel squeaking]
- [chuckles] Oh!
788
00:39:46,802 --> 00:39:49,595
Now they've lost their way.
789
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:52,515
Now they can't go home. [imitates sobbing]
790
00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:55,601
- You're sure you don't want one?
- We're sure. Thank you.
791
00:39:55,686 --> 00:39:57,186
Oh, they make cracker jack pets.
792
00:39:57,271 --> 00:39:59,272
I taught this one to shake hands.
793
00:39:59,356 --> 00:40:00,940
He's not for sale, though.
794
00:40:01,024 --> 00:40:03,526
Hey, who wants to go home
with the nice ladies, huh?
795
00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:05,236
"Ooh, Pick me! Pick me!
796
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:06,904
Oh, don't be afraid, I don't bite.
797
00:40:06,989 --> 00:40:08,864
What's your name, pretty lady?"
798
00:40:08,949 --> 00:40:11,325
[chuckles] Vera.
799
00:40:11,410 --> 00:40:13,786
Ma'am, uh, really, we're not interested.
800
00:40:13,870 --> 00:40:16,998
Well, I'm not talking to you, am I?
I'm talking to Vera.
801
00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:18,624
What about Bucky here?
802
00:40:18,709 --> 00:40:21,460
He just loves to climb the trees
and eat the nuts.
803
00:40:21,545 --> 00:40:23,546
Ma'am! We do not want a squirrel!
804
00:40:23,630 --> 00:40:25,840
Now, do you or do you not know
where the interstate is?
805
00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:27,633
Of course, I do. I'm not retarded.
806
00:40:27,718 --> 00:40:29,468
"Tell them about the shortcut. "
807
00:40:29,553 --> 00:40:31,762
Oh... [chuckles] Thank you, Bucky.
808
00:40:31,847 --> 00:40:35,266
I almost forgot. There's a dandy shortcut
809
00:40:35,350 --> 00:40:38,019
that will bring you right to Exit 14.
It'll save you 30 miles.
810
00:40:38,103 --> 00:40:41,188
- Oh.
- [clears throat] Now, listen carefully.
811
00:40:41,273 --> 00:40:44,692
You wanna go straight
down here exactly 1.8 miles.
812
00:40:44,776 --> 00:40:45,776
1.8.
813
00:40:45,861 --> 00:40:48,404
And you make a left
at the Totem Pole Ranch.
814
00:40:49,156 --> 00:40:51,907
Go 5.4 miles, and you're gonna
go up a big hill.
815
00:40:51,992 --> 00:40:55,453
And you'll see a big yellow sign
with some graffiti on it.
816
00:40:55,537 --> 00:40:57,997
There's a little dirt road.
Take that on the right.
817
00:40:58,081 --> 00:41:00,207
It'll take you right to the interstate.
818
00:41:00,292 --> 00:41:01,542
Thank you very much.
819
00:41:01,627 --> 00:41:03,210
[woman] Oh, wait a minute.
820
00:41:04,046 --> 00:41:07,965
Take some nuts with you,
just in case you see a squirrel.
821
00:41:08,050 --> 00:41:10,134
- Okay? All right.
- [chuckles]
822
00:41:10,218 --> 00:41:12,762
[woman chuckles] "Bye. Bye.
823
00:41:12,846 --> 00:41:14,639
Oh, you could have bought me. "
824
00:41:14,723 --> 00:41:17,475
[Owen] You'll make it. You'll make it.
825
00:41:17,559 --> 00:41:20,102
[groaning]
826
00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:25,733
Where am I?
827
00:41:29,738 --> 00:41:32,406
Wow! A Barbie museum! Can we stop?
828
00:41:32,491 --> 00:41:34,283
Sorry, Kimmy. We have a plan.
829
00:41:35,369 --> 00:41:37,161
And we're going to stick to the plan.
830
00:41:37,245 --> 00:41:39,121
Please, Daddy. Please, please, please...
831
00:41:39,206 --> 00:41:40,373
Hey, hey!
832
00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:44,502
It's not fair. We never get
to stop anywhere I want to.
833
00:41:44,586 --> 00:41:47,797
I'm sure Jason doesn't wanna go
to the Barbie museum.
834
00:41:47,881 --> 00:41:49,632
Are you kidding? I'll stop anywhere.
835
00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:52,468
- I'm wigging out back here.
- You know, okay, honey.
836
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:55,012
You really need to pull over
and stop to give the kids a break.
837
00:41:55,097 --> 00:41:57,807
- Yeah, okay, maybe on the way back.
- No, no, no. Stop the car.
838
00:41:57,891 --> 00:42:00,226
- Uh, no, I can't do that.
- We all need to stop the car.
839
00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:01,936
- No can do.
- No. You need to stop the car.
840
00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:03,062
- [screams] No!
- Can you please...
841
00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,522
- Stop the car!
- [Randy groans]
842
00:42:04,606 --> 00:42:07,316
- [tries screech]
- [Randy] Oh. Ooh.
843
00:42:08,110 --> 00:42:09,819
[groans, grunts]
844
00:42:11,822 --> 00:42:14,365
Okay, fine, but ten minutes.
845
00:42:14,449 --> 00:42:16,826
Wow! The Barbie museum!
846
00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:22,540
Klaus Barbie, sometimes known
as the Butcher of Lyon.
847
00:42:23,250 --> 00:42:26,627
Let the Jew revisionists talk
about their death camps
848
00:42:26,712 --> 00:42:29,630
and so-called crimes against humanity.
849
00:42:29,715 --> 00:42:32,383
This museum is lovingly dedicated
850
00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:35,177
to the Klaus Barbie that nobody knows.
851
00:42:35,262 --> 00:42:38,973
The husband, the devoted father,
the wine connoisseur,
852
00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:42,017
and three-time
ballroom dancing champion.
853
00:42:43,854 --> 00:42:45,938
[radio: rock music]
854
00:42:49,109 --> 00:42:51,902
[garbles] Hey, hey,
there's that guy, the pudgy one.
855
00:42:54,156 --> 00:42:57,533
- Barbie joined the SS in 1935...
- [metal statue squeaking]
856
00:42:57,617 --> 00:42:59,160
...where he soon became
857
00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:01,537
one of the Führer's
favorite young officers.
858
00:43:01,621 --> 00:43:04,039
- Uh, can we go?
- [Beverly shushes]
859
00:43:04,124 --> 00:43:07,334
Here, we see him standing
beside Hitler's touring car,
860
00:43:07,419 --> 00:43:11,505
the very same car which can be seen
on display outside in our courtyard.
861
00:43:11,590 --> 00:43:12,840
You're leaving?
862
00:43:14,342 --> 00:43:16,635
- What? [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
863
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:18,471
No. What? Yes.
864
00:43:18,555 --> 00:43:21,640
Well, we... we have a... a 4:30 book burning
and then... and then we have a...
865
00:43:21,725 --> 00:43:23,392
- Uh, a christening.
- Yes, a christening.
866
00:43:23,477 --> 00:43:25,227
For one of our many, uh, white Christian,
867
00:43:25,312 --> 00:43:27,855
- non-Jewish, uh, fri... friends.
- [chuckles] Family.
868
00:43:27,939 --> 00:43:29,398
- Family. Relatives.
- Blood relatives.
869
00:43:29,483 --> 00:43:33,277
The Him... Himmler Hessin Von...
[stutters] Sturichberg...
870
00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:35,446
- Okay. Thank you so much.
- Yes, love... love your do.
871
00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:36,822
- Bye.
- Thank you.
872
00:43:36,907 --> 00:43:39,158
[Beverly] It's beautiful.
We had a great time.
873
00:43:39,242 --> 00:43:41,786
- Wow! Oh, a gift shop!
- Yes, I know, honey.
874
00:43:41,870 --> 00:43:44,288
Next time. Next time, I promise.
I really do.
875
00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:46,165
- Just go. Just go.
- [Beverly panting]
876
00:43:46,249 --> 00:43:48,042
What's? What is... Oh, my God!
877
00:43:48,126 --> 00:43:49,752
- We've been cut.
- How?
878
00:43:49,836 --> 00:43:50,961
[Jason] What do we do now?
879
00:43:52,506 --> 00:43:55,966
- I say we take the interstate.
- [garbles] No. Take Highway 12.
880
00:43:56,051 --> 00:43:58,719
- That's a shortcut.
- But you don't know what the shortcut is.
881
00:43:58,804 --> 00:44:00,930
It could be anything.
It could be a dirt road.
882
00:44:01,014 --> 00:44:02,890
[garbles] You know what?
There's two of us.
883
00:44:02,974 --> 00:44:04,225
Why don't we just separate?
884
00:44:05,101 --> 00:44:08,020
- What?
- [garbles] There's two of us.
885
00:44:08,104 --> 00:44:10,481
Maybe we should just separate.
886
00:44:11,566 --> 00:44:14,360
You're right. You're a genius.
887
00:44:14,444 --> 00:44:16,779
There's two of us.
If we separate and you steal a car,
888
00:44:16,863 --> 00:44:19,990
we can both go our own way and double
our chances of getting there first.
889
00:44:20,075 --> 00:44:21,992
[garbles] All right. You take the...
890
00:44:23,078 --> 00:44:24,703
We've only got one key!
891
00:44:27,791 --> 00:44:31,919
Oh, look! There it is.
Totem Pole Ranch, turn left.
892
00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:36,340
1.8 miles exactly.
All right, squirrel lady!
893
00:44:37,050 --> 00:44:38,551
[horn honking]
894
00:44:40,846 --> 00:44:42,471
I can't believe it, Dad.
895
00:44:42,556 --> 00:44:45,099
You just stole
Adolf Hitler's Mercedes Benz!
896
00:44:45,183 --> 00:44:46,851
Well, Hitler had it coming.
897
00:44:46,935 --> 00:44:49,645
What goes around,
comes around. [chuckles]
898
00:44:49,729 --> 00:44:51,438
[Kimberly]
Man, they're going to be pissed.
899
00:44:51,523 --> 00:44:53,274
Uh, they're always pissed, honey.
900
00:44:53,358 --> 00:44:56,068
They're Nazis. It's like it's their job.
901
00:44:56,152 --> 00:44:58,863
Hey, honey, when we get to Silver City...
902
00:44:58,947 --> 00:45:01,448
[mumbles] We'll call them.
We'll work something out.
903
00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:03,701
Yee-hoo!
904
00:45:07,622 --> 00:45:09,623
- [Nick] North?
- A little detour.
905
00:45:09,708 --> 00:45:10,916
It'll just take a minute.
906
00:45:11,001 --> 00:45:13,544
I just wanted to say hi to my boyfriend.
907
00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:14,753
Oh.
908
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:19,508
[Tracy gasps]
909
00:45:19,593 --> 00:45:21,719
[panting]
910
00:45:21,803 --> 00:45:23,137
I can't believe it.
911
00:45:23,221 --> 00:45:25,389
[gasps] That son of a bitch!
912
00:45:25,473 --> 00:45:27,558
That's... That's Charlene's car!
913
00:45:27,642 --> 00:45:29,101
Charlene?
914
00:45:29,185 --> 00:45:31,228
His ex-girlfriend. Or so I thought.
915
00:45:31,313 --> 00:45:34,523
[Nick] Come on, now. I'm sure
there's a perfectly innocent explanation.
916
00:45:34,608 --> 00:45:37,276
She probably came by
just to pick up some clothes or...
917
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,360
Oh.
918
00:45:38,445 --> 00:45:40,654
- Nice and warm. [laughs]
- [chuckles]
919
00:45:42,157 --> 00:45:43,949
- [grunts]
- Okay.
920
00:45:44,034 --> 00:45:45,451
[grunts]
921
00:45:46,661 --> 00:45:49,204
[man] What the... No!
922
00:45:49,289 --> 00:45:51,540
- [Charlene screams] Oh.
- Get down!
923
00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:57,087
Did I come at a bad time, asshole?
924
00:45:58,882 --> 00:46:00,174
Whoa! Whoa!
925
00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:04,303
[Tracy] I'll ram this helicopter
right down your throat!
926
00:46:04,387 --> 00:46:05,763
- [man screams]
- No! Whoa!
927
00:46:06,806 --> 00:46:08,140
Whoa!
928
00:46:08,224 --> 00:46:11,018
- [Nick] Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing?
- [Tracy] Don't worry about me.
929
00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:14,146
My father's a navy pilot.
I've been flying since I was 15!
930
00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:16,565
[Nick] No. I'm not worried about you.
I'm worried about me.
931
00:46:16,650 --> 00:46:18,609
[Tracy] Shawn, you have a minute?
932
00:46:18,693 --> 00:46:20,569
I wanna talk about our relationship!
933
00:46:20,654 --> 00:46:22,446
[Charlene screams]
934
00:46:27,827 --> 00:46:30,245
- [Charlene groans]
- [Shawn grunts]
935
00:46:35,877 --> 00:46:38,545
Suck on that, creep! [laughs]
936
00:46:38,630 --> 00:46:40,255
- Oh!
- [Tracy grunts]
937
00:46:40,340 --> 00:46:41,674
That's...
938
00:46:41,758 --> 00:46:43,258
[Shawn] Not the truck!
939
00:46:43,969 --> 00:46:46,261
- [Shawn] No! Oh, my God!
- [screams]
940
00:46:46,346 --> 00:46:48,514
Come on, help me. Open it.
941
00:46:48,598 --> 00:46:50,933
Uh, you know what, Tracy,
I'm actually not comfortable...
942
00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:52,309
- Open it!
- Okay.
943
00:46:53,603 --> 00:46:54,979
[screams]
944
00:46:56,064 --> 00:46:57,773
[laughs]
945
00:46:58,525 --> 00:47:00,234
She's gonna kill me.
946
00:47:00,318 --> 00:47:01,485
We should get out of here.
947
00:47:01,569 --> 00:47:02,861
- Not yet!
- Okay.
948
00:47:03,738 --> 00:47:07,116
[Tracy] You two-timing,
backstabbing sneak!
949
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,702
You worm! You turd!
950
00:47:12,539 --> 00:47:17,543
My God! What was I thinking?
I want my five months back!
951
00:47:20,005 --> 00:47:22,297
I'm getting the tattoo removed!
952
00:47:22,382 --> 00:47:24,008
- [screams]
- [laughs]
953
00:47:25,218 --> 00:47:27,302
[Shawn] Hey! Stop hitting me!
954
00:47:27,387 --> 00:47:30,681
[Tracy] Where are you going, baby?
Wait for me!
955
00:47:30,765 --> 00:47:31,890
[Nick] Let go!
956
00:47:33,018 --> 00:47:35,310
[Nick screaming]
957
00:47:40,316 --> 00:47:42,151
[Nick] No! No, no!
958
00:47:42,235 --> 00:47:44,278
Oh, oh, oh.
959
00:47:45,572 --> 00:47:46,864
[Shawn] No!
960
00:47:48,700 --> 00:47:50,993
- [Shawn groans]
- [car engine stops]
961
00:47:51,077 --> 00:47:52,953
[Nick] I think we just killed him.
962
00:47:53,038 --> 00:47:55,831
You can't kill him! He's like a cockroach.
963
00:47:55,915 --> 00:47:57,666
[alarm blaring]
964
00:47:57,751 --> 00:47:59,418
Ah. Uh-oh!
965
00:47:59,502 --> 00:48:03,380
No, no, no! No, uh-oh!
No. Fix the "uh-oh!"
966
00:48:03,465 --> 00:48:06,633
No! [screaming]
967
00:48:07,552 --> 00:48:09,595
- [alarm continues]
- [Nick] Should we be this low?
968
00:48:09,679 --> 00:48:10,929
[Nick screaming loudly]
969
00:48:11,014 --> 00:48:12,181
[groans]
970
00:48:12,265 --> 00:48:14,516
- [helicopter blades slowing]
- [Tracy pants]
971
00:48:14,601 --> 00:48:16,518
- Come on, let's keep going.
- [button clicking]
972
00:48:16,603 --> 00:48:18,187
- Come on.
- [engine sputtering]
973
00:48:18,271 --> 00:48:19,772
- [sputtering continues]
- [siren wailing]
974
00:48:19,856 --> 00:48:21,565
[panting]
975
00:48:21,649 --> 00:48:24,193
We just violated about 115 federal laws.
976
00:48:25,070 --> 00:48:27,613
- "We"?
- I'm getting out of here. Are you coming?
977
00:48:27,697 --> 00:48:29,156
- [grunts]
- No.
978
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:30,866
No, no, no. I know things look bad...
979
00:48:32,786 --> 00:48:34,995
[panting] Nice meeting you.
980
00:48:38,625 --> 00:48:40,292
Get out of the truck, Shawn.
981
00:48:41,044 --> 00:48:42,377
[Shawn groans]
982
00:48:42,462 --> 00:48:45,214
- That's it, Tracy. You and I are through!
- [Tracy grunts]
983
00:48:47,967 --> 00:48:49,676
Tracy, wait!
984
00:48:49,761 --> 00:48:52,221
["I Can't Help Myself" playing]
985
00:48:53,556 --> 00:48:54,640
Tracy!
986
00:48:59,062 --> 00:49:01,438
That's the first illegal thing
I've done in my adult life.
987
00:49:01,523 --> 00:49:02,856
[Tracy] How does it feel?
988
00:49:02,941 --> 00:49:06,276
Well, I'm shaking, but that could be
from the helicopter crash.
989
00:49:06,361 --> 00:49:08,195
Get out of my truck, Tracy!
990
00:49:08,279 --> 00:49:10,614
It's my truck, Shawn! I paid for it!
991
00:49:10,698 --> 00:49:12,157
- And who is this?
- Oh, I'm nobody.
992
00:49:12,242 --> 00:49:14,159
- Yeah, you are nobody.
- [Nick] Yeah. Nobody.
993
00:49:14,244 --> 00:49:16,161
You stay away from her, nobody,
unless you're tired of living.
994
00:49:16,246 --> 00:49:17,788
You know what I'm... [groans]
995
00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:20,958
Oh, Shawn, while you're here,
do me a favor.
996
00:49:21,042 --> 00:49:23,252
Charlene left a bra in the truck.
997
00:49:23,336 --> 00:49:25,170
- Can you make sure she gets it?
- [groans]
998
00:49:25,255 --> 00:49:26,713
Thanks, honey.
999
00:49:26,798 --> 00:49:27,840
[mumbles] Help!
1000
00:49:30,510 --> 00:49:31,927
[Shawn] Oh!
1001
00:49:40,937 --> 00:49:43,021
[whimpering]
1002
00:49:45,358 --> 00:49:48,735
- [wind blowing]
- [panting]
1003
00:49:48,820 --> 00:49:49,903
[gasps]
1004
00:49:51,990 --> 00:49:54,783
[chuckling]
1005
00:50:05,587 --> 00:50:07,880
[panting]
1006
00:50:07,964 --> 00:50:10,132
[gasps] Ooh.
1007
00:50:12,844 --> 00:50:13,969
[gargles]
1008
00:50:15,054 --> 00:50:16,054
[chuckles]
1009
00:50:16,139 --> 00:50:17,514
[woman 1 ] So where's the driver?
1010
00:50:17,599 --> 00:50:19,391
- [woman 2] He's in the powder room.
- [woman 1 sighs]
1011
00:50:19,475 --> 00:50:22,936
Hell's bells. We're never gonna get
to Santa Fe by three o'clock.
1012
00:50:23,021 --> 00:50:24,813
- It's ridiculous!
- [woman 2] Ridiculous.
1013
00:50:24,898 --> 00:50:26,315
I really wish he'd hurry.
1014
00:50:26,399 --> 00:50:28,233
It just seems very unprofessional.
1015
00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:30,569
[water running]
1016
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:36,491
- Oh!
- Oh...
1017
00:50:36,576 --> 00:50:38,619
Oh, mister, you gotta help me.
My wife... She's...
1018
00:50:38,703 --> 00:50:40,120
She's out back. She's having a baby.
1019
00:50:40,205 --> 00:50:42,164
- She's having a what?
- A baby!
1020
00:50:42,248 --> 00:50:44,166
- She's having a baby?
- And it's halfway out!
1021
00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:46,585
- Ah. [chuckles]
- I can see the head!
1022
00:50:47,212 --> 00:50:49,713
- I need your jacket.
- [stutters] Why?
1023
00:50:50,548 --> 00:50:52,799
[stutters] For her amniotic sac!
1024
00:50:52,884 --> 00:50:54,718
- Oh.
- Yeah, her amniotic fluid...
1025
00:50:54,802 --> 00:50:56,637
- It's all... It's gushing out.
- Gushing?
1026
00:50:56,721 --> 00:50:58,055
- The jacket! The jacket!
- Oh!
1027
00:50:58,139 --> 00:51:00,682
Give me the jacket. And your pants.
1028
00:51:02,143 --> 00:51:03,727
- My pants?
- Your pants.
1029
00:51:03,811 --> 00:51:06,271
Yeah, for her, you know, her placenta.
1030
00:51:06,356 --> 00:51:08,357
- You know, and her labia, and...
- [groans]
1031
00:51:08,441 --> 00:51:10,692
...cervical... [imitates popping]
1032
00:51:10,777 --> 00:51:12,611
And mucus gushing... It's gushing.
1033
00:51:12,695 --> 00:51:14,571
It's just a hole... It's...
1034
00:51:14,656 --> 00:51:16,240
- [sobbing] It's like...
- Oh, oh, yeah.
1035
00:51:16,324 --> 00:51:17,616
- Quick, the pants!
- Okay.
1036
00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:20,452
- And the hat.
- Uh, my hat? Why? Why my hat?
1037
00:51:22,038 --> 00:51:23,997
Uh. For her, uh...
1038
00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,000
vagina.
1039
00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:29,378
[gasps]
1040
00:51:30,255 --> 00:51:32,422
Let's go, ladies. All aboard.
We're on our way.
1041
00:51:32,507 --> 00:51:35,884
- What happened to Marty?
- Uh, Marty? Family emergency.
1042
00:51:35,969 --> 00:51:37,094
His wife's having a baby.
1043
00:51:37,178 --> 00:51:38,178
- A baby?
- Yes.
1044
00:51:38,263 --> 00:51:40,180
I'm Owen. I'm your new driver. Let's go.
1045
00:51:40,974 --> 00:51:42,641
- [women chattering]
- Shh. Quiet.
1046
00:51:42,725 --> 00:51:44,268
Quiet, everybody. Simmer down.
1047
00:51:44,352 --> 00:51:45,394
Hey!
1048
00:51:46,187 --> 00:51:48,522
We're going to be under way
in just a minute.
1049
00:51:48,606 --> 00:51:50,107
- This is Owen.
- [button clicking]
1050
00:51:50,191 --> 00:51:52,317
He's our new driver.
1051
00:51:52,402 --> 00:51:54,861
Everyone say hello.
1052
00:51:54,946 --> 00:51:58,824
[all] Hello, Owen!
1053
00:51:58,908 --> 00:52:03,287
Our next stop is the Third Annual
I Love Lucy Convention
1054
00:52:03,371 --> 00:52:05,580
- in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
- [all cheering]
1055
00:52:05,665 --> 00:52:06,748
What do you say?
1056
00:52:06,833 --> 00:52:11,169
Ba-ba-loo!
1057
00:52:11,254 --> 00:52:13,130
[cheering]
1058
00:52:13,214 --> 00:52:15,424
[engine sputtering]
1059
00:52:16,759 --> 00:52:19,761
[engine starts, revs]
1060
00:52:20,555 --> 00:52:21,763
[all] Oh!
1061
00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:25,934
[all] Oh! Oh!
1062
00:52:31,316 --> 00:52:33,859
[chattering]
1063
00:52:42,744 --> 00:52:45,954
- Is he dead?
- Hey, mister, are you dead?
1064
00:52:46,039 --> 00:52:47,289
- [gasps]
- [children screaming]
1065
00:52:48,416 --> 00:52:51,460
It's a race, it's a race, it's a race.
1066
00:52:52,378 --> 00:52:55,922
Run. Run, like greased lightning!
1067
00:52:56,799 --> 00:52:59,551
Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!
1068
00:53:00,345 --> 00:53:01,803
- [screams]
- [Enrico] Taxi!
1069
00:53:01,888 --> 00:53:03,013
[tires screeching]
1070
00:53:03,097 --> 00:53:04,348
[Enrico screams]
1071
00:53:04,432 --> 00:53:07,684
- [thudding]
- Not good. Not good.
1072
00:53:07,769 --> 00:53:09,895
- [door opening]
- [groans]
1073
00:53:09,979 --> 00:53:12,773
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
1074
00:53:12,857 --> 00:53:14,024
[sighs] Oh.
1075
00:53:14,108 --> 00:53:18,028
Don't move! Stay there!
I saw the whole thing. I'll be right down.
1076
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:20,864
Oh, shit! Gloria Allred.
1077
00:53:20,948 --> 00:53:24,451
[panting] Hey, buddy?
Buddy, you okay? You okay?
1078
00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:25,660
[groans] Ta-da.
1079
00:53:25,745 --> 00:53:27,454
You're fine! [chuckles]
And you look great.
1080
00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:29,081
You don't want to report this, do you?
1081
00:53:29,165 --> 00:53:30,957
- Taxi!
- You don't need a taxi. Come on.
1082
00:53:31,042 --> 00:53:33,668
Come on, uh, where are you going?
Maybe I can drop you off.
1083
00:53:33,753 --> 00:53:36,421
Silver City, New Mexico. I am in a race.
1084
00:53:36,506 --> 00:53:37,672
- Silver City?
- Mmm.
1085
00:53:37,757 --> 00:53:38,965
This is your lucky day.
1086
00:53:39,050 --> 00:53:40,801
- No.
- I'm going to El Paso.
1087
00:53:40,885 --> 00:53:42,302
- [chuckles]
- It's right on the way!
1088
00:53:42,387 --> 00:53:46,181
Come on. Oh, but, uh, look,
I gotta be there by seven o'clock tonight,
1089
00:53:46,265 --> 00:53:48,725
so I'm gonna be driving very fast.
1090
00:53:48,810 --> 00:53:50,310
- Great!
- Yeah!
1091
00:53:50,395 --> 00:53:51,686
[tires squealing]
1092
00:53:52,313 --> 00:53:53,522
You just want one copy,
1093
00:53:53,606 --> 00:53:55,524
'cause you get an extra one
for half price?
1094
00:53:55,608 --> 00:53:57,984
- [Duane] Just one. And hurry.
- [Blaine chuckles]
1095
00:53:58,069 --> 00:53:59,986
That's the best idea you ever had.
1096
00:54:00,071 --> 00:54:02,572
We split up, we take two keys,
we double our chances of winning.
1097
00:54:02,657 --> 00:54:05,325
- [garbles] It can't fail.
- You remember where we're going?
1098
00:54:05,410 --> 00:54:07,327
[garbles] Silver City, New Mexico.
1099
00:54:07,412 --> 00:54:10,080
[Duane] Right. Train station locker 001.
1100
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:11,623
[garbles] Zero, zero, one.
1101
00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:13,375
Rule number one, discretion.
1102
00:54:13,459 --> 00:54:14,793
- Don't talk to anybody.
- [scoffs]
1103
00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:16,837
- [garbles] I won't, I promise.
- I'm serious.
1104
00:54:16,921 --> 00:54:19,673
We're talking about
two million dollars in cash.
1105
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:23,093
People would just kill us
to get their hands on that key.
1106
00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:26,221
- [garbles] I love you.
- [machine whirring]
1107
00:54:27,056 --> 00:54:29,099
All right, little brother,
you steal a car.
1108
00:54:29,183 --> 00:54:31,560
I'm gonna try to steal that Corvette
right there. [chuckles]
1109
00:54:31,644 --> 00:54:33,520
I don't care what you get
as long as it's fast.
1110
00:54:33,604 --> 00:54:35,730
I'll meet you in Silver City.
Don't forget your key.
1111
00:54:38,693 --> 00:54:42,028
[garbles] That mother-fucking bastard!
1112
00:54:42,113 --> 00:54:45,073
- I'll kill him! I'm gonna...
- [tires squealing]
1113
00:54:45,158 --> 00:54:47,659
[locksmith chuckles] Whoo!
1114
00:54:48,828 --> 00:54:51,079
- [garbles] There he is.
- [engine starts]
1115
00:54:51,164 --> 00:54:52,789
Go! Go! Go!
1116
00:54:55,918 --> 00:54:57,711
[Merrill] Okay. We're at 2.4 miles.
1117
00:54:57,795 --> 00:54:59,546
There's the yellow sign with the graffiti.
1118
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:01,047
- Turn right.
- I see it.
1119
00:55:01,132 --> 00:55:02,215
- You see it?
- I see it.
1120
00:55:02,300 --> 00:55:05,135
[Vera] Oh, I just love this!
This is like a treasure hunt.
1121
00:55:05,970 --> 00:55:08,096
[both screaming]
1122
00:55:08,181 --> 00:55:10,640
- [Vera] Slow down!
- [Merrill] I can't!
1123
00:55:10,725 --> 00:55:11,892
[Vera] Oh, oh, oh.
1124
00:55:11,976 --> 00:55:13,935
[Merrill screaming]
1125
00:55:15,104 --> 00:55:16,146
[Merrill] Help!
1126
00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:18,064
[both screaming]
1127
00:55:33,456 --> 00:55:36,082
- [Merrill sighs]
- [rattling]
1128
00:55:37,126 --> 00:55:39,461
[both screaming]
1129
00:55:39,545 --> 00:55:41,254
[screaming]
1130
00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:46,468
[women chattering]
1131
00:55:46,552 --> 00:55:49,513
But I guess my favorite episode,
if I had to pick a favorite,
1132
00:55:49,597 --> 00:55:50,847
would be episode 34.
1133
00:55:50,932 --> 00:55:52,849
Ladies! Lucys! Lucys!
1134
00:55:52,934 --> 00:55:54,351
Stay behind the line, please.
1135
00:55:54,435 --> 00:55:56,686
Remember that one when Ricky
wouldn't take his hat off?
1136
00:55:56,771 --> 00:55:59,564
No, no, I don't remember that one.
It sounds... [sniffs]
1137
00:55:59,649 --> 00:56:00,982
...like a masterpiece.
1138
00:56:01,067 --> 00:56:03,860
[Lucy 1 ] How about the one
where she got caught in the freezer?
1139
00:56:03,945 --> 00:56:06,446
Ma'am? Lucy!
1140
00:56:06,531 --> 00:56:07,989
You have to put that out, please.
1141
00:56:12,370 --> 00:56:14,538
[crackling]
1142
00:56:14,622 --> 00:56:15,956
[sniffing]
1143
00:56:17,542 --> 00:56:19,543
[stutters] Lucy, your hair!
1144
00:56:19,627 --> 00:56:21,503
Oh, thank you. You know, I couldn't decide
1145
00:56:21,587 --> 00:56:23,088
- whether to keep it up...
- [sizzling]
1146
00:56:23,172 --> 00:56:24,923
- ... or try something new.
- No. It's on fire!
1147
00:56:25,007 --> 00:56:27,551
[all screaming]
1148
00:56:34,308 --> 00:56:36,935
- Stop the bus!
- We're not stopping!
1149
00:56:37,019 --> 00:56:39,396
Just put it out! Just put it out!
1150
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:40,855
- We're not stopping!
- Stop!
1151
00:56:40,940 --> 00:56:42,857
[screaming continues]
1152
00:56:42,942 --> 00:56:44,109
The bathroom!
1153
00:56:58,124 --> 00:56:59,499
- Oh-ho. Oh-ho.
- [tires squealing]
1154
00:57:07,550 --> 00:57:10,051
[all clamoring]
1155
00:57:13,472 --> 00:57:16,766
Two million dollars, two million dollars.
1156
00:57:16,851 --> 00:57:18,268
Two million dollars.
1157
00:57:18,352 --> 00:57:21,313
Two million dollars, two million dollars.
1158
00:57:21,397 --> 00:57:22,731
Two million dollars.
1159
00:57:23,274 --> 00:57:25,567
[Tracy] The Donald Sinclair,
the billionaire?
1160
00:57:25,651 --> 00:57:28,820
It sounds crazy, I know.
But I think it's on the level.
1161
00:57:28,904 --> 00:57:31,489
Look, here's the thing.
We have to decide yes or no right now.
1162
00:57:31,574 --> 00:57:33,116
Look. Okay, we're here.
1163
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:34,743
If everybody else
had to drive the whole way,
1164
00:57:34,827 --> 00:57:36,661
I figure we still...
We have a three-hour head start.
1165
00:57:36,746 --> 00:57:38,288
So, you're proposing...
1166
00:57:38,372 --> 00:57:40,582
We form a corporation.
Faucet and Schaffer Inc.
1167
00:57:40,666 --> 00:57:42,542
If we win, we split everything 50-50.
1168
00:57:42,627 --> 00:57:44,586
Here. You can even hold the key.
1169
00:57:46,589 --> 00:57:47,589
What do you think?
1170
00:57:48,758 --> 00:57:51,259
[chuckles] I don't know
what to think. I'm in shock.
1171
00:57:51,344 --> 00:57:54,095
Three hours ago,
I was sitting in the airport.
1172
00:57:54,180 --> 00:57:56,681
I had a job.
I was reading a book. [chuckles]
1173
00:57:56,766 --> 00:57:59,184
My grandfather used to say,
"Good things take time.
1174
00:57:59,268 --> 00:58:01,936
Great things happen all at once. "
1175
00:58:05,191 --> 00:58:08,151
[harmonica playing]
1176
00:58:08,235 --> 00:58:10,945
Jason, where did you get that?
1177
00:58:11,030 --> 00:58:12,947
- I found it under the seat.
- Wait...
1178
00:58:13,032 --> 00:58:14,574
Jason, give it to me right now.
1179
00:58:14,659 --> 00:58:16,618
- Come on. You can't play that.
- Why not?
1180
00:58:16,702 --> 00:58:19,913
Because it's Hitler's harmonica.
You can't play Hitler's harmonica.
1181
00:58:19,997 --> 00:58:21,373
You're driving his car.
1182
00:58:21,457 --> 00:58:24,250
Yes, but I'm not touching it
with my mouth.
1183
00:58:24,335 --> 00:58:26,628
I'm not sucking on the dashboard.
1184
00:58:26,712 --> 00:58:28,171
I'm not getting his germs.
1185
00:58:28,255 --> 00:58:30,256
Dad, look what I found.
1186
00:58:31,050 --> 00:58:33,218
- Hey, where did you get those?
- The floor.
1187
00:58:33,302 --> 00:58:35,136
- Look, I'm Mrs. Hitler.
- [Randy] All right.
1188
00:58:35,221 --> 00:58:37,263
- Take those off right now.
- Hey, look at this.
1189
00:58:37,348 --> 00:58:39,015
It's a lipstick, huh?
1190
00:58:39,100 --> 00:58:40,642
Oh, it's dark.
1191
00:58:40,726 --> 00:58:42,352
That Eva Braun had style, didn't she?
1192
00:58:42,436 --> 00:58:44,229
Bev, she was Hitler's girlfriend.
1193
00:58:44,313 --> 00:58:46,606
- Give us a kiss.
- Oh! It's not funny. Give me that.
1194
00:58:46,691 --> 00:58:48,274
- No, no, no. Come on.
- Give me that.
1195
00:58:48,359 --> 00:58:50,318
- Honey!
- Oh. I got it all over my hand.
1196
00:58:50,403 --> 00:58:52,737
- [Beverly] Oh... Randy.
- [harmonica continues playing]
1197
00:58:54,281 --> 00:58:57,617
- [horn honking]
- [tires screeching]
1198
00:58:58,828 --> 00:59:01,371
- [radio] ♪ Chain, chain... ♪
- ♪ R-E-S-P-E-C-T ♪
1199
00:59:01,455 --> 00:59:04,249
♪ Find out what it means to me
Respect ♪
1200
00:59:04,333 --> 00:59:06,418
- ♪ Just a little bit... ♪
- ♪ Chain, chain, chain... ♪
1201
00:59:06,502 --> 00:59:08,128
- ♪ Just a little bit... ♪
- ♪ Chain, chain, chain... ♪
1202
00:59:08,212 --> 00:59:09,587
- [turns off radio]
- ♪ Just... ♪
1203
00:59:11,966 --> 00:59:15,009
Look at us go. We are zooming!
1204
00:59:15,094 --> 00:59:17,679
I told you. We're hauling ass.
1205
00:59:17,763 --> 00:59:20,473
We're hauling ass. All righty!
1206
00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:26,271
Guess what I got back there.
1207
00:59:27,314 --> 00:59:30,817
You just told me. Ass! We're hauling ass!
1208
00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:33,528
No, no, no. That's just an expression.
1209
00:59:34,405 --> 00:59:35,405
Oh.
1210
00:59:37,408 --> 00:59:38,658
It's a heart.
1211
00:59:40,035 --> 00:59:43,788
- A heart?
- A human heart.
1212
00:59:44,790 --> 00:59:47,959
Some lucky bastard in El Paso
is waiting for it.
1213
00:59:48,043 --> 00:59:50,420
Yeah, normally they put it on a plane,
but, you know,
1214
00:59:50,504 --> 00:59:53,465
the airport's all closed down,
so... [hums]
1215
00:59:53,549 --> 00:59:54,549
Ah.
1216
00:59:57,678 --> 00:59:59,012
You want to see it?
1217
01:00:00,347 --> 01:00:02,932
- See what?
- Look.
1218
01:00:10,608 --> 01:00:12,567
Are we allowed?
1219
01:00:12,651 --> 01:00:15,612
We'll just take a peek.
One peek. What could happen?
1220
01:00:18,449 --> 01:00:20,825
It's a heart. It needs fresh air.
1221
01:00:20,910 --> 01:00:23,536
It's been locked up
in that cooler for seven hours.
1222
01:00:28,501 --> 01:00:29,959
- [clicks]
- [hissing]
1223
01:00:32,213 --> 01:00:33,296
[Enrico] Huh?
1224
01:00:48,979 --> 01:00:50,188
[exhales]
1225
01:00:53,651 --> 01:00:54,776
[chuckles]
1226
01:00:58,030 --> 01:00:59,906
- [groans] It's, uh... Whoa!
- Oh. Whoa.
1227
01:00:59,990 --> 01:01:01,407
- Upsy-daisy.
- Oh, shit! Oh, please!
1228
01:01:01,492 --> 01:01:02,867
I get it. I get it.
1229
01:01:02,952 --> 01:01:05,537
- [man] Don't step on it!
- [Enrico] Okay, I think I found it.
1230
01:01:05,621 --> 01:01:07,413
[man] No, that's a caramel apple.
1231
01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:16,339
[car door opens]
1232
01:01:19,677 --> 01:01:20,718
This is wrong.
1233
01:01:20,803 --> 01:01:22,095
- This is so wrong.
- Shh.
1234
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:23,930
God is going to smote us.
1235
01:01:24,014 --> 01:01:25,390
- We're gonna get smote.
- Shh.
1236
01:01:25,474 --> 01:01:26,891
Come on. We're siphoning gas.
1237
01:01:26,976 --> 01:01:28,852
- It's not a smoting offense.
- What?
1238
01:01:30,229 --> 01:01:32,021
[snorts]
1239
01:01:33,315 --> 01:01:34,399
[sighs]
1240
01:01:36,694 --> 01:01:38,695
It shouldn't be turning me on, should it?
1241
01:01:43,117 --> 01:01:44,826
- Hey!
- Hi.
1242
01:01:44,910 --> 01:01:46,286
- [gas pouring]
- What are you doing?
1243
01:01:47,246 --> 01:01:48,746
Seventeen cups of coffee.
1244
01:01:52,126 --> 01:01:53,376
[Nick] Ah!
1245
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:57,463
- I guess, uh... I guess that's it.
- Oh.
1246
01:01:58,299 --> 01:02:00,675
- [gas pouring]
- Whoa! Uh, I guess not. [chuckles]
1247
01:02:00,759 --> 01:02:02,844
Whoa. How do you turn
this thing off, huh? [chuckles]
1248
01:02:03,470 --> 01:02:05,096
Son of a bitch!
1249
01:02:05,180 --> 01:02:08,016
[siren blaring]
1250
01:02:12,605 --> 01:02:13,938
- Man!
- [garbles] Oh, damn it.
1251
01:02:14,023 --> 01:02:16,691
- [Duane] Damn it!
- [garbles] Keep going. Go! Go! Go!
1252
01:02:16,775 --> 01:02:19,193
[siren distorting]
1253
01:02:19,278 --> 01:02:21,279
- [Blaine garbles] He's stopping.
- [Duane chuckles]
1254
01:02:21,363 --> 01:02:23,281
- 'Cause he knows, don't mess with us.
- [chuckles]
1255
01:02:43,135 --> 01:02:45,094
[man 1 ] We gotta wait.
There's too much wind.
1256
01:02:45,179 --> 01:02:47,639
[locksmith] Guys! Guys! Guys!
I need this balloon!
1257
01:02:47,723 --> 01:02:49,766
[man 2] Hey, hey. What are you doing?
1258
01:02:49,850 --> 01:02:51,851
- Hey, man! What...
- [locksmith grunts]
1259
01:02:56,482 --> 01:02:58,566
- [man 2] That's... Hey, hey!
- [locksmith] I know what I'm doing!
1260
01:02:58,651 --> 01:03:02,946
[laughs] Whoo! Oh!
1261
01:03:03,030 --> 01:03:05,281
- [Duane] I'm coming to get you!
- [Blaine] Move.
1262
01:03:05,366 --> 01:03:08,493
- [Duane] Get back here!
- [Blaine] Oh, we got you now.
1263
01:03:08,577 --> 01:03:11,037
- [gas hissing]
- [groans] Ah!
1264
01:03:11,121 --> 01:03:13,373
[Duane] I'm gonna get you,
stupid hardware guy!
1265
01:03:13,457 --> 01:03:15,041
[both screaming]
1266
01:03:15,793 --> 01:03:17,377
[both groan]
1267
01:03:17,461 --> 01:03:20,004
- [Blaine] Whoa!
- [Duane groans]
1268
01:03:20,089 --> 01:03:22,465
- [Blaine] Go! Go!
- [Duane] Stand up.
1269
01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:24,509
- [Blaine] We got you now.
- [Duane] Grab the rope!
1270
01:03:24,593 --> 01:03:27,095
- [Blaine] We got you now. Higher.
- [Duane] I'm going to get you!
1271
01:03:27,179 --> 01:03:30,390
- Stand up. Ready? Grab it.
- [Blaine] Just go ahead.
1272
01:03:31,725 --> 01:03:33,351
- You missed it!
- Oh.
1273
01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:34,978
Duane!
1274
01:03:35,062 --> 01:03:37,689
- Duane, stop the car!
- Hang on, buddy!
1275
01:03:37,773 --> 01:03:39,774
[Blaine] Please! Please stop!
1276
01:03:39,858 --> 01:03:41,943
[groans]
1277
01:03:42,027 --> 01:03:44,445
- Duane!
- I got it! I got it!
1278
01:03:44,530 --> 01:03:45,697
Just hang on!
1279
01:03:45,781 --> 01:03:48,282
[Blaine screams]
1280
01:03:48,367 --> 01:03:49,659
Duane!
1281
01:03:49,743 --> 01:03:53,413
- [Duane] Whoa!
- [locksmith shouts]
1282
01:03:53,497 --> 01:03:55,373
- [Blaine shouts] Stop it!
- Blaine!
1283
01:03:55,457 --> 01:03:57,250
- Blaine!
- [Blaine] You're gonna kill...
1284
01:03:57,334 --> 01:03:58,751
[Duane] Blaine!
1285
01:03:58,836 --> 01:04:00,837
- [Blaine garbles] I'm gonna die.
- [cow moos]
1286
01:04:02,089 --> 01:04:03,464
- [cow moos]
- Whoa!
1287
01:04:04,675 --> 01:04:06,634
- Move! [groans]
- [cow moos]
1288
01:04:06,719 --> 01:04:08,469
- [groans]
- [cow moos]
1289
01:04:09,263 --> 01:04:10,263
- Oh!
- [cow moos]
1290
01:04:10,889 --> 01:04:12,598
- Watch out!
- [cows mooing]
1291
01:04:12,683 --> 01:04:16,269
Oh. Look, look, look. [groaning]
1292
01:04:18,397 --> 01:04:20,398
Oh. [sighs]
1293
01:04:20,482 --> 01:04:22,358
- [mooing continues]
- Whew!
1294
01:04:23,902 --> 01:04:24,902
[grunts]
1295
01:04:27,865 --> 01:04:29,949
[panting]
1296
01:04:30,034 --> 01:04:32,201
- [sobs, whimpers]
- [Duane panting]
1297
01:04:32,286 --> 01:04:33,411
Shit.
1298
01:04:35,873 --> 01:04:36,914
Hey!
1299
01:04:37,624 --> 01:04:40,793
- Duane! Help!
- [panting]
1300
01:04:40,878 --> 01:04:42,336
Duane!
1301
01:04:42,421 --> 01:04:43,713
[panting]
1302
01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:45,715
- Oh. Whoa.
- [Blaine] Whoa!
1303
01:04:45,799 --> 01:04:47,925
[Duane] No! Oh. Oh, God!
1304
01:04:48,010 --> 01:04:50,470
[crying]
1305
01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:54,932
[cow moos]
1306
01:04:55,017 --> 01:04:56,601
- [cow moos]
- [locksmith] Whoa!
1307
01:04:56,685 --> 01:04:57,935
Help!
1308
01:04:58,020 --> 01:04:59,562
- [cow moos]
- [locksmith] H... Hey.
1309
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,191
[cow mooing]
1310
01:05:04,234 --> 01:05:06,069
- Give me my key!
- What are you talking about?
1311
01:05:06,153 --> 01:05:08,279
- Give me back my key!
- What key?
1312
01:05:10,032 --> 01:05:11,741
[Duane] Give me the key!
1313
01:05:12,785 --> 01:05:15,203
[groans, screams]
1314
01:05:15,287 --> 01:05:16,496
[groans]
1315
01:05:17,581 --> 01:05:18,831
[locksmith coughs]
1316
01:05:18,916 --> 01:05:19,916
[chuckles] Yes!
1317
01:05:21,043 --> 01:05:22,835
- [cow moos]
- Whoa!
1318
01:05:24,088 --> 01:05:26,547
[grunting]
1319
01:05:26,632 --> 01:05:28,633
- [sneezes]
- [gasps] Oh!
1320
01:05:28,717 --> 01:05:29,717
[screams]
1321
01:05:33,931 --> 01:05:35,348
[panting]
1322
01:05:38,143 --> 01:05:39,310
No!
1323
01:05:41,814 --> 01:05:43,606
[screams]
1324
01:05:45,484 --> 01:05:48,027
- [locksmith screams]
- [cow moos]
1325
01:05:53,659 --> 01:05:56,160
[Duane gasping]
1326
01:05:56,787 --> 01:05:58,246
[screams]
1327
01:05:58,330 --> 01:05:59,539
[Duane groaning]
1328
01:06:00,624 --> 01:06:02,959
Blaine! Blaine!
1329
01:06:03,752 --> 01:06:06,295
- It's me!
- [garbles] Duane!
1330
01:06:08,382 --> 01:06:10,675
Oh, my God! [chuckles]
1331
01:06:13,137 --> 01:06:14,804
I got out of that thing!
1332
01:06:15,430 --> 01:06:16,430
I got the key.
1333
01:06:18,058 --> 01:06:19,934
[both laugh]
1334
01:06:24,064 --> 01:06:25,314
How's it going, Captain?
1335
01:06:26,066 --> 01:06:27,567
So far, so good.
1336
01:06:27,651 --> 01:06:29,152
How about a pit stop?
1337
01:06:29,236 --> 01:06:31,863
Sorry, this is a one-way flight.
1338
01:06:31,947 --> 01:06:33,364
There's a bathroom in the back.
1339
01:06:34,158 --> 01:06:35,324
The latch is broken.
1340
01:06:35,409 --> 01:06:38,244
- Anybody could just come in.
- [sighs] So what?
1341
01:06:38,328 --> 01:06:40,830
You ain't got nothing
the other Lucys haven't seen already.
1342
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:42,832
- [chuckles]
- [in deep voice] Not necessarily.
1343
01:06:42,916 --> 01:06:44,167
[screams]
1344
01:06:44,251 --> 01:06:46,252
Please, would you stop screaming?
1345
01:06:46,962 --> 01:06:48,171
Damn!
1346
01:06:48,255 --> 01:06:50,047
[cow moos]
1347
01:06:50,674 --> 01:06:52,008
[all screaming]
1348
01:06:52,092 --> 01:06:55,469
[locksmith] Help me!
For God's sake! Help me!
1349
01:06:56,221 --> 01:06:59,098
- [cow moos]
- Ah. Ah.
1350
01:07:01,476 --> 01:07:03,519
[screaming continues]
1351
01:07:09,151 --> 01:07:10,401
[Owen] Oh, shit!
1352
01:07:10,485 --> 01:07:13,321
[women wailing]
1353
01:07:13,822 --> 01:07:15,698
[tools clanking]
1354
01:07:16,867 --> 01:07:18,326
Owen!
1355
01:07:18,410 --> 01:07:20,036
Owen, what are you doing?
1356
01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:22,079
It's a flat tire. Please stay on the bus.
1357
01:07:22,164 --> 01:07:24,165
[Lucy 1 ] Well, you're turning it
the wrong way.
1358
01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:27,043
[Owen] I know what I'm doing.
Please get on the bus.
1359
01:07:27,127 --> 01:07:29,503
- Maybe we should check the oil.
- Lucys. Wait, wait, wait!
1360
01:07:29,588 --> 01:07:33,549
[Lucy 2] You're supposed to change
the air in the tires every 12,000 miles.
1361
01:07:33,634 --> 01:07:35,676
- [Lucy 3] I can fix it.
- Give me that!
1362
01:07:35,761 --> 01:07:37,845
[Lucy 3] Quick, somebody do
the Heimlich maneuver!
1363
01:07:37,930 --> 01:07:40,097
Wait! No, that's the spare!
1364
01:07:40,182 --> 01:07:41,682
- [women screaming]
- No!
1365
01:07:41,767 --> 01:07:43,601
[Owen] Hey. Ooh. Wait up!
1366
01:07:43,685 --> 01:07:46,771
- [Lucy 2] Oh, no.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!
1367
01:07:46,855 --> 01:07:48,189
[Lucy 2] Oh, no.
1368
01:07:48,273 --> 01:07:50,691
- [groans]
- [Lucy 3] We'll still catch it.
1369
01:07:50,776 --> 01:07:51,984
- Try it, try it!
- [creaking]
1370
01:07:52,069 --> 01:07:53,486
- [thud]
- [women screaming]
1371
01:07:53,570 --> 01:07:54,654
Oh, oh!
1372
01:07:59,701 --> 01:08:01,702
[women wailing]
1373
01:08:05,374 --> 01:08:06,999
[cries]
1374
01:08:16,510 --> 01:08:19,220
No, no, no. Turn it around.
Turn... Just turn it around.
1375
01:08:19,304 --> 01:08:20,429
Please be careful.
1376
01:08:21,181 --> 01:08:23,015
Wait, wait, wait. What is that?
1377
01:08:24,142 --> 01:08:26,185
[chuckles] It's a nickel.
1378
01:08:26,270 --> 01:08:28,354
[sobs] Would you please put it in the bag?
1379
01:08:33,193 --> 01:08:34,193
[thuds]
1380
01:08:38,824 --> 01:08:40,116
- [screams]
- [tires screeching]
1381
01:08:45,664 --> 01:08:48,833
Why... Why don't you check over there?
Maybe it bounced.
1382
01:08:52,629 --> 01:08:53,963
I'm a dead man!
1383
01:08:54,047 --> 01:08:56,507
Don't worry, my friend.
We will find the heart.
1384
01:08:57,092 --> 01:09:00,469
I have lost my heart many times before.
1385
01:09:01,722 --> 01:09:04,640
[snorts, chuckles]
1386
01:09:05,225 --> 01:09:09,562
I make a joke to help you forget
how screwed you are.
1387
01:09:10,814 --> 01:09:12,565
I don't think it got this far.
1388
01:09:13,525 --> 01:09:15,651
- Let's check down by the road.
- [dog barking]
1389
01:09:15,736 --> 01:09:18,863
[Enrico] Oh. Hello! A doggy! Hello! Hello!
1390
01:09:18,947 --> 01:09:20,239
Hello there, little doggy.
1391
01:09:20,324 --> 01:09:22,491
Well, isn't he a good doggy?
1392
01:09:22,576 --> 01:09:24,118
- Come on. Come on.
- [dog whimpering]
1393
01:09:24,202 --> 01:09:25,244
Fetch. Fetch it.
1394
01:09:27,039 --> 01:09:28,914
Look at him go.
1395
01:09:28,999 --> 01:09:29,999
Oh!
1396
01:09:31,835 --> 01:09:34,337
- [man] Here, boy!
- Doggy!
1397
01:09:34,421 --> 01:09:36,005
Good boy! Get him!
1398
01:09:36,089 --> 01:09:37,965
[horn honking]
1399
01:09:41,053 --> 01:09:42,595
- Really is a beautiful car.
- Yeah.
1400
01:09:42,679 --> 01:09:44,930
- I mean, look at this mahogany.
- Gorgeous.
1401
01:09:45,015 --> 01:09:46,974
- You just don't see that anymore.
- No.
1402
01:09:48,185 --> 01:09:49,560
I wonder what this is.
1403
01:09:49,644 --> 01:09:51,312
Honey, careful.
That's a cigarette lighter.
1404
01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:53,230
- I don't think they had those then.
- Yes, they did.
1405
01:09:53,315 --> 01:09:54,440
- [sizzles]
- Ow! Oh!
1406
01:09:54,524 --> 01:09:56,108
Oh, honey, did you burn yourself?
1407
01:09:56,193 --> 01:09:59,070
- Yeah! Oh, God!
- Oh, I told you.
1408
01:09:59,154 --> 01:10:00,696
- [chuckles]
- [stutters]
1409
01:10:00,781 --> 01:10:03,783
- [Beverly chuckling] No, no, no, sorry.
- [Randy] Oh.
1410
01:10:03,867 --> 01:10:06,369
My husband, he burned his finger, ma'am.
1411
01:10:06,453 --> 01:10:07,495
Yeah, he was cooling,
1412
01:10:07,579 --> 01:10:09,330
- and then he was waving...
- Bev, not helping.
1413
01:10:09,414 --> 01:10:11,290
- Oh, oh. Sorry.
- Not helping.
1414
01:10:12,042 --> 01:10:13,584
- Hi.
- Hi. [chuckles]
1415
01:10:15,962 --> 01:10:19,090
I really like your dike... Bike.
1416
01:10:19,174 --> 01:10:20,257
[gasps]
1417
01:10:20,342 --> 01:10:22,259
- [chuckles]
- It's nice.
1418
01:10:23,011 --> 01:10:24,845
[whistles]
1419
01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:29,809
[biker woman] Cut them off! Get in front!
1420
01:10:29,893 --> 01:10:31,060
- Oh, my...
- [grunts]
1421
01:10:31,144 --> 01:10:32,812
- Hey! What are you, nuts?
- Get down!
1422
01:10:32,896 --> 01:10:35,940
Kids, stay down!
This thing won't go any faster!
1423
01:10:36,024 --> 01:10:38,401
Stop it! The headlights! The headlight!
1424
01:10:39,861 --> 01:10:41,278
Are you insane?
1425
01:10:41,363 --> 01:10:43,114
This is Hitler's car!
1426
01:10:43,198 --> 01:10:45,282
- [grunts]
- [indistinct shouting]
1427
01:10:45,367 --> 01:10:47,159
[groans, muffled scream]
1428
01:10:48,245 --> 01:10:49,703
[speaks indistinctly]
1429
01:10:51,331 --> 01:10:52,873
Oh! Why?
1430
01:10:52,958 --> 01:10:55,209
[Beverly screaming]
1431
01:10:55,293 --> 01:10:58,129
[Beverly, Randy screaming]
1432
01:10:59,256 --> 01:11:00,381
- Oh.
- [tires screech]
1433
01:11:01,174 --> 01:11:02,842
[Beverly] Honey, go and ask them for help.
1434
01:11:02,926 --> 01:11:04,635
Tell them everything that happened.
1435
01:11:04,719 --> 01:11:08,222
And ask them to call the police
and a tow truck!
1436
01:11:08,306 --> 01:11:10,933
[speaking indistinctly]
1437
01:11:17,983 --> 01:11:20,484
[continues speaking indistinctly]
1438
01:11:24,656 --> 01:11:26,240
[all gasp]
1439
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,329
[all booing]
1440
01:11:41,631 --> 01:11:42,965
[doorbell rings]
1441
01:11:53,643 --> 01:11:55,436
- Hello.
- Hello.
1442
01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:57,938
- Are you Harold?
- Yes.
1443
01:11:58,023 --> 01:11:59,148
I'm Vicky.
1444
01:12:01,735 --> 01:12:03,694
Are you going to invite me in, Harry?
1445
01:12:03,778 --> 01:12:05,905
Or would you rather party
out here in the hallway?
1446
01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:08,032
Please, come in.
1447
01:12:12,162 --> 01:12:13,579
Not too shabby.
1448
01:12:15,373 --> 01:12:18,000
- Where are you from, Harry?
- [clears throat] From here.
1449
01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:21,670
- Las Vegas.
- Oh, local boy makes good.
1450
01:12:21,755 --> 01:12:22,755
[chuckles]
1451
01:12:23,715 --> 01:12:27,510
So, Harry, what can I do for you?
1452
01:12:28,637 --> 01:12:31,430
Okay. Here's what I want. [clears throat]
1453
01:12:32,140 --> 01:12:33,599
First, we both get naked.
1454
01:12:33,683 --> 01:12:35,184
Mmm, so far so good.
1455
01:12:36,228 --> 01:12:38,103
Only we're wearing sailor hats.
1456
01:12:38,188 --> 01:12:40,397
- Hmm.
- And then...
1457
01:12:41,441 --> 01:12:44,443
we get into a Jacuzzi...
1458
01:12:44,528 --> 01:12:46,904
[stutters]... filled with Pepto-Bismol.
1459
01:12:47,531 --> 01:12:48,614
And...
1460
01:12:49,616 --> 01:12:52,117
I cl... clip your toenails
1461
01:12:52,202 --> 01:12:54,161
and you shave my buttocks.
1462
01:12:55,747 --> 01:12:56,747
Pardon me?
1463
01:12:57,624 --> 01:13:00,334
Okay. Um, naked, um, Jacuzzi,
1464
01:13:00,418 --> 01:13:02,711
Pepto-Bismol, toenails,
1465
01:13:02,796 --> 01:13:04,630
shave my buttocks.
1466
01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:05,756
How much would that cost?
1467
01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:07,800
[chuckles] Jeez!
1468
01:13:07,884 --> 01:13:10,010
Honey, you have quite an imagination.
1469
01:13:10,887 --> 01:13:12,346
How much would it cost?
1470
01:13:14,516 --> 01:13:16,392
Well, let's see.
1471
01:13:17,310 --> 01:13:19,478
A party like that...
1472
01:13:20,772 --> 01:13:22,439
Three thousand dollars.
1473
01:13:22,524 --> 01:13:26,235
[Donald] Okay! Three thousand is the rate.
Who had three thousand?
1474
01:13:26,319 --> 01:13:28,445
Uh, Carlton had 2,800. He's the closest.
1475
01:13:28,530 --> 01:13:30,155
[all applauding]
1476
01:13:31,533 --> 01:13:32,866
[man] Good for you.
1477
01:13:32,951 --> 01:13:34,577
[both panting]
1478
01:13:39,165 --> 01:13:41,375
- [electricity buzzing]
- [thuds]
1479
01:13:45,964 --> 01:13:47,881
[panting] Oh.
1480
01:13:48,675 --> 01:13:50,676
I... I... I... I think it's okay.
1481
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:51,969
What do you think?
1482
01:13:52,053 --> 01:13:54,597
What? Oh. What about those little holes?
1483
01:13:55,473 --> 01:13:57,808
- Are they bite marks?
- No, no, no, no, no.
1484
01:13:57,892 --> 01:13:59,852
No, that's... [stutters]
1485
01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:02,271
That's how it was. I'm...
I'm... I'm pretty sure.
1486
01:14:02,355 --> 01:14:04,023
What am I doing?
1487
01:14:04,107 --> 01:14:06,734
I can't go to El Paso with this.
1488
01:14:06,818 --> 01:14:09,695
Look at it!
It's going to leak like a sieve.
1489
01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:11,989
The guy's going to be alive
for two minutes and then...
1490
01:14:12,073 --> 01:14:14,825
[imitates ECG machine, grunts]
1491
01:14:14,909 --> 01:14:16,785
[imitates ECG machine, sobs]
1492
01:14:20,081 --> 01:14:21,081
A drifter.
1493
01:14:22,417 --> 01:14:23,417
A drifter?
1494
01:14:24,252 --> 01:14:26,337
We... We find a drifter...
1495
01:14:27,547 --> 01:14:29,506
kill him, cut out his heart.
1496
01:14:29,591 --> 01:14:32,217
Nobody's going to miss him, right?
I mean, he's a drifter.
1497
01:14:32,302 --> 01:14:34,428
He's an invisible man.
It's a perfect plan.
1498
01:14:34,512 --> 01:14:37,431
Mr. Zack, now you are giving me
the freak out.
1499
01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:39,058
[stutters] Give me a second.
1500
01:14:39,142 --> 01:14:41,268
[stutters] Where...
Where do I find a drifter?
1501
01:14:41,353 --> 01:14:43,646
I mean, I'm in the... I don't have... That's...
1502
01:14:47,609 --> 01:14:50,069
- Enrico.
- Hmm.
1503
01:14:50,153 --> 01:14:51,820
Where did you say you were from?
1504
01:14:51,905 --> 01:14:53,947
Me? I am from Napoli.
1505
01:14:54,032 --> 01:14:56,700
Oh. And... And, uh, and your family?
1506
01:14:56,785 --> 01:14:58,619
They're... They're back there?
1507
01:14:58,703 --> 01:15:01,747
No. No, my papa, he is dead.
1508
01:15:02,707 --> 01:15:03,874
And my mama.
1509
01:15:05,251 --> 01:15:06,251
All gone.
1510
01:15:07,504 --> 01:15:10,172
A... Any family? Kids?
1511
01:15:10,256 --> 01:15:12,049
No. No.
1512
01:15:12,926 --> 01:15:15,594
I am completely alone.
1513
01:15:17,138 --> 01:15:20,432
Why, uh... Why... Why do you...
1514
01:15:24,896 --> 01:15:26,855
Look! A drifter. Let's kill him.
1515
01:15:27,857 --> 01:15:30,484
Son of a... Come back here!
1516
01:15:34,447 --> 01:15:35,572
[sobs]
1517
01:15:36,741 --> 01:15:38,742
[sobs] What have I...
1518
01:15:40,954 --> 01:15:42,913
- [electricity buzzing]
- [groaning]
1519
01:15:44,457 --> 01:15:47,459
- [panting]
- [heart beating]
1520
01:15:50,547 --> 01:15:51,880
[chuckling]
1521
01:15:52,382 --> 01:15:55,676
Whatever! Listen, sugar.
You're not going anywhere today.
1522
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:57,261
You've got a crack in your radiator.
1523
01:15:57,345 --> 01:15:59,930
That's this big tank
in front of this big engine.
1524
01:16:00,014 --> 01:16:01,306
Yeah, I know what a radiator is.
1525
01:16:01,391 --> 01:16:03,016
Okay. Is there a place we can rent a car?
1526
01:16:03,101 --> 01:16:05,394
- Albuquerque. [laughs]
- [Tracy] Okay. Look, all right.
1527
01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:07,438
We'll just have to patch it. A quick fix.
1528
01:16:07,522 --> 01:16:09,356
Patch it? Patch it with what?
1529
01:16:09,441 --> 01:16:12,276
Sand and tire sealant.
You mix the two together,
1530
01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:13,694
it forms an adhesive.
1531
01:16:13,778 --> 01:16:15,154
It should last a couple of hours.
1532
01:16:15,238 --> 01:16:17,364
- We only have 30 miles to go.
- [Nick] Yeah.
1533
01:16:17,449 --> 01:16:20,159
Darling, uh, we don't have any sand.
1534
01:16:20,243 --> 01:16:23,620
Hello! We're in the desert!
1535
01:16:29,669 --> 01:16:31,670
[Vera] We should have bought a squirrel.
1536
01:16:39,012 --> 01:16:40,262
Mother of mercy!
1537
01:16:40,346 --> 01:16:43,557
Where did you come from? Car trouble?
1538
01:16:43,641 --> 01:16:46,602
Here. Sit down. You two look exhausted.
1539
01:16:47,395 --> 01:16:50,189
How long have you been out there?
Here. Have something to drink.
1540
01:16:50,273 --> 01:16:52,733
[spokesman] Ladies and gentlemen,
members of the press...
1541
01:16:52,817 --> 01:16:53,984
What's going on?
1542
01:16:55,111 --> 01:16:57,070
Oh, a bunch of rocket scientists from LA.
1543
01:16:57,155 --> 01:16:59,323
They are trying to break
the land speed record.
1544
01:17:02,619 --> 01:17:06,330
[man]... which is a unique combination
of automotive and aerodynamic innovation.
1545
01:17:06,414 --> 01:17:10,417
The vehicle, which we call Lightning I I,
represents three years of RandD.
1546
01:17:10,502 --> 01:17:13,879
Which was conducted at the
California Institute of Technology.
1547
01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:17,007
The design team was led
by Professor Ken Friedman
1548
01:17:17,091 --> 01:17:19,218
and Dr. Richard Kramer.
1549
01:17:19,302 --> 01:17:21,470
We believe that, uh, aerodynamically,
1550
01:17:21,554 --> 01:17:24,223
this is the most perfect vehicle
ever designed.
1551
01:17:24,307 --> 01:17:28,393
The entire vehicle weighs less
than 1,850 pounds.
1552
01:17:28,478 --> 01:17:30,854
The body is a one-piece Kevlar composite.
1553
01:17:30,939 --> 01:17:33,023
The wheels are solid billet aluminum.
1554
01:17:33,107 --> 01:17:36,777
And she's powered
by twin JE-79 turbojet engines,
1555
01:17:36,861 --> 01:17:39,822
the same engines
that are in the F-4 Phantom jet.
1556
01:17:39,906 --> 01:17:41,573
[spokesman] Are there any questions?
1557
01:17:41,658 --> 01:17:44,117
Mr. Calvert, what is the current
land speed record?
1558
01:17:44,202 --> 01:17:46,203
[Calvert] That'd be 742 miles per hour,
1559
01:17:46,287 --> 01:17:48,247
but we hope to have a new record today.
1560
01:17:48,998 --> 01:17:51,166
- Anyone else?
- [chattering]
1561
01:17:51,251 --> 01:17:54,503
- How do you start it?
- Ah. Good question.
1562
01:17:54,587 --> 01:17:57,506
There's a green lever to the left
of the steering wheel in the cockpit,
1563
01:17:57,590 --> 01:18:00,050
which engages the primary thruster,
igniting the JE...
1564
01:18:00,134 --> 01:18:01,134
[engine roaring]
1565
01:18:05,139 --> 01:18:07,266
[both groaning]
1566
01:18:12,355 --> 01:18:13,397
[both screaming]
1567
01:18:13,481 --> 01:18:15,774
- Seven-forty, 745!
- That's a record!
1568
01:18:15,859 --> 01:18:17,484
They're gonna break the sound barrier!
1569
01:18:21,030 --> 01:18:22,614
Well, that's it.
1570
01:18:22,699 --> 01:18:25,325
- I still don't think she's going to hold.
- What do we owe you?
1571
01:18:26,536 --> 01:18:27,536
Five hundred bucks.
1572
01:18:27,620 --> 01:18:29,288
- What?
- For what?
1573
01:18:29,372 --> 01:18:30,956
For two quarts of sealant?
1574
01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:33,542
No way. That's 20 bucks, tops.
1575
01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:36,962
Yeah. Okay. Here's $40,
that's double what it's worth, okay?
1576
01:18:37,046 --> 01:18:38,213
Come on, Nick. Let's go.
1577
01:18:40,341 --> 01:18:41,633
Hold it.
1578
01:18:42,468 --> 01:18:43,927
Whoa! Hey, hey. [chuckles]
1579
01:18:44,012 --> 01:18:46,638
Another little tool
no mechanic should be without.
1580
01:18:46,723 --> 01:18:48,807
- [mechanic laughing]
- Oh, my... All right. Fine.
1581
01:18:48,892 --> 01:18:50,767
Here you go. Here's your $500.
1582
01:18:50,852 --> 01:18:54,062
But you know what, Billy Ray?
What goes around, comes around.
1583
01:18:54,147 --> 01:18:56,356
This is so unchristian!
1584
01:18:56,441 --> 01:18:59,610
Unchristian? [laughs]
1585
01:18:59,694 --> 01:19:02,738
Well, if the good Lord don't like
the way I conduct business,
1586
01:19:02,822 --> 01:19:05,866
let him say something.
Let him give me a sign.
1587
01:19:06,659 --> 01:19:10,579
Oh, Lord! I'm here and I'm listening!
1588
01:19:10,663 --> 01:19:12,831
Hello! [laughs]
1589
01:19:12,916 --> 01:19:14,166
[whooshing]
1590
01:19:14,250 --> 01:19:16,001
[rumbling]
1591
01:19:16,085 --> 01:19:17,336
[mechanic] Whoa!
1592
01:19:18,546 --> 01:19:20,797
- Mach one!
- We did it! We did it!
1593
01:19:20,882 --> 01:19:21,924
[all laughing]
1594
01:19:24,928 --> 01:19:27,304
Oh. Oh...
1595
01:19:28,014 --> 01:19:31,016
[Beverly] Hey, everybody okay?
You all right? Yeah?
1596
01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:32,768
Randy, you okay?
1597
01:19:32,852 --> 01:19:34,603
There's no Ink Inc.
1598
01:19:34,687 --> 01:19:37,189
- [Beverly] What?
- There's no job. No.
1599
01:19:39,442 --> 01:19:41,693
It's a race. We're racing.
1600
01:19:41,778 --> 01:19:43,987
Donald Sinclair put
two million dollars in a locker.
1601
01:19:44,072 --> 01:19:46,114
And I want to get there first.
1602
01:19:46,199 --> 01:19:50,786
I do not want to work at Home Depot!
1603
01:19:56,668 --> 01:19:58,293
[both groaning]
1604
01:20:04,592 --> 01:20:06,176
[engine shuts down]
1605
01:20:16,145 --> 01:20:17,396
[Merrill grunts]
1606
01:20:22,235 --> 01:20:24,403
[nurse] Okay, people. Back on the bus.
1607
01:20:24,487 --> 01:20:26,697
George, don't eat that.
1608
01:20:26,781 --> 01:20:30,534
Back on the bus.
Come on. Back on the bus.
1609
01:20:30,618 --> 01:20:32,202
Simon, put that down.
1610
01:20:32,286 --> 01:20:36,164
You two. Back on the bus.
Come on, everyone.
1611
01:20:36,249 --> 01:20:39,626
We don't want to miss dinner.
It's macaroni night.
1612
01:20:39,711 --> 01:20:42,045
- [woman cheering]
- [man] Come on.
1613
01:20:42,839 --> 01:20:45,173
- [Vera] We came in a rocket car.
- [nurse] Oh!
1614
01:20:45,258 --> 01:20:48,719
A rocket car? Let's hear
all about that on the bus.
1615
01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:50,971
[Randy] All right? So, we can still win,
1616
01:20:51,055 --> 01:20:55,058
but we have to leave now.
All right? So, come on!
1617
01:20:55,143 --> 01:20:58,270
Dad... it's been a living hell.
1618
01:20:59,063 --> 01:21:01,857
Bev, it's... it's two million dollars.
1619
01:21:02,775 --> 01:21:05,485
That's a lifetime's supply of hummus.
1620
01:21:11,117 --> 01:21:12,117
[sighs]
1621
01:21:13,745 --> 01:21:16,705
- Okay. Okay. Yeah, I'm...
- [Kimberly] Finally.
1622
01:21:16,789 --> 01:21:18,832
I'm being selfish. I understand. I'm...
1623
01:21:19,751 --> 01:21:22,669
[clears throat] I'm sorry.
Really, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1624
01:21:23,463 --> 01:21:24,796
I'm sorry.
1625
01:21:24,881 --> 01:21:27,299
[chuckles] Almost got us killed.
1626
01:21:30,970 --> 01:21:32,721
[mumbles]
1627
01:21:40,646 --> 01:21:41,980
[mouthing] Thank you.
1628
01:21:42,065 --> 01:21:45,650
- Hi, everybody. Miss me?
- Ah. Hey.
1629
01:21:45,735 --> 01:21:49,321
Just to show there's no hard feelings,
chocolate shakes all around!
1630
01:21:49,405 --> 01:21:52,449
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
1631
01:21:52,533 --> 01:21:55,368
I'm a little disappointed,
but I'm an adult.
1632
01:21:55,453 --> 01:21:56,661
So, drink these up,
1633
01:21:56,746 --> 01:21:59,247
and then we'll return the Nazi-mobile,
we'll get that van fixed
1634
01:21:59,332 --> 01:22:02,000
then we'll go back to Vegas
and see David Copperfield.
1635
01:22:02,085 --> 01:22:04,878
Yay! Okay. Drink up, buddy.
1636
01:22:06,047 --> 01:22:07,756
- Is it good?
- Hmm. Mm-hmm.
1637
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:09,091
Drink it up, honey.
1638
01:22:11,302 --> 01:22:13,095
[women chattering]
1639
01:22:13,179 --> 01:22:15,722
- [Owen sobbing]
- [Lucy 2] Oh, don't feel bad.
1640
01:22:15,807 --> 01:22:18,475
It's not your fault.
We'll tell the company.
1641
01:22:18,559 --> 01:22:20,977
- We won't let them fire you.
- [Lucys] No.
1642
01:22:21,062 --> 01:22:23,480
- I'm no bus driver.
- Don't say that.
1643
01:22:23,564 --> 01:22:26,733
[sniffles] No, I'm not.
I'm not a bus driver.
1644
01:22:26,818 --> 01:22:29,611
Oh, you mustn't be so hard on yourself.
1645
01:22:29,695 --> 01:22:33,031
Hey, everybody!
Who's the world's greatest bus driver?
1646
01:22:33,116 --> 01:22:35,534
[all chanting] Owen! Owen! Owen!
1647
01:22:35,618 --> 01:22:37,786
Owen! Owen! Owen!
1648
01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:40,163
- No, no, no, no, no. Listen.
- Owen! Owen! Owen!
1649
01:22:40,248 --> 01:22:41,456
Listen! No. Listen, listen.
1650
01:22:41,541 --> 01:22:45,627
No! No! No! Shut up,
you crazy Lucy bitches! Shut up!
1651
01:22:45,711 --> 01:22:47,838
Owen! Ow... Ooh!
1652
01:22:47,922 --> 01:22:50,590
I am not a bus driver!
1653
01:22:50,675 --> 01:22:53,301
I do not work for the bus company!
1654
01:22:53,386 --> 01:22:56,847
All right, I... I... I needed a ride
to New Mexico,
1655
01:22:56,931 --> 01:22:59,516
so... so I stole this uniform.
1656
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:03,436
See this jacket? This is not my jacket!
1657
01:23:03,521 --> 01:23:05,480
Remember Marty, the bus driver, huh?
1658
01:23:06,232 --> 01:23:09,526
This is his shirt! I stole it!
1659
01:23:09,610 --> 01:23:10,652
And these pants?
1660
01:23:10,736 --> 01:23:13,613
Do you think I'd wear these pants?
These aren't my pants!
1661
01:23:13,698 --> 01:23:16,408
- These are Marty's pants. I...
- [all gasping]
1662
01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:18,076
I stole them.
1663
01:23:18,744 --> 01:23:20,412
[panting]
1664
01:23:20,496 --> 01:23:23,748
I am not... a bus driver!
1665
01:23:26,627 --> 01:23:29,504
You're not a real bus driver?
1666
01:23:29,589 --> 01:23:31,882
[Lucy 2] You lied to us!
1667
01:23:31,966 --> 01:23:34,467
He ruined our whole vacation!
1668
01:23:34,552 --> 01:23:36,720
[all shouting]
1669
01:23:44,812 --> 01:23:46,855
[man] Here they come.
1670
01:23:46,939 --> 01:23:49,649
- They're all within 50 miles.
- It's the final lap.
1671
01:23:49,734 --> 01:23:51,151
Mr. Grisham!
1672
01:23:51,235 --> 01:23:52,569
Now, the airport's back online.
1673
01:23:52,653 --> 01:23:55,363
So, I want you to take the Lear jet,
scoot on down to Silver City
1674
01:23:55,448 --> 01:23:57,699
and give us a play by play
from the finish line.
1675
01:23:57,783 --> 01:24:00,285
- Yes, sir.
- [all cheering, applauding]
1676
01:24:00,369 --> 01:24:01,745
Yes!
1677
01:24:02,538 --> 01:24:04,497
- [gasps]
- [vehicle approaching]
1678
01:24:12,840 --> 01:24:13,965
Huh.
1679
01:24:18,804 --> 01:24:20,430
[Kimberly snoring]
1680
01:24:21,974 --> 01:24:22,974
[Randy chuckling]
1681
01:24:24,310 --> 01:24:27,062
Let's go back to Vegas. [chuckles]
1682
01:24:27,146 --> 01:24:28,146
Oh!
1683
01:24:28,231 --> 01:24:31,233
Oh, Bev, Bev, wake...
Come on, wake up! Wake up! Bev.
1684
01:24:31,317 --> 01:24:34,236
- Bev, wake up. Third Reich's here!
- [Beverly] Huh.
1685
01:24:34,320 --> 01:24:36,905
Come on, head down.
You want to have a nice life. Okay.
1686
01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:38,698
Okay, think! Think!
1687
01:24:38,783 --> 01:24:41,743
SS in the parking lot!
Not good! Not good! Think!
1688
01:24:41,827 --> 01:24:43,828
[horn honking]
1689
01:24:43,913 --> 01:24:46,456
[Randy groans] Hi, honey.
1690
01:24:47,708 --> 01:24:49,459
They're gonna be all right?
1691
01:24:49,543 --> 01:24:50,794
Friend, uh, I don't...
1692
01:24:50,878 --> 01:24:53,171
- I don't think there's room.
- [Randy] No. No.
1693
01:24:53,256 --> 01:24:54,839
[panting]
1694
01:24:54,924 --> 01:24:56,758
This one's little. [grunts]
1695
01:24:58,511 --> 01:25:00,512
- [Duane] There it is!
- [garbles] Silver City!
1696
01:25:00,596 --> 01:25:02,097
- We're almost there.
- Yeah!
1697
01:25:02,181 --> 01:25:04,099
- [laughs]
- Go!
1698
01:25:04,183 --> 01:25:05,225
[Blaine] Whoo-hoo!
1699
01:25:05,851 --> 01:25:09,396
["You Sexy Thing" playing]
1700
01:25:14,527 --> 01:25:17,112
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
1701
01:25:18,406 --> 01:25:19,990
♪ Where you from ♪
1702
01:25:21,117 --> 01:25:23,743
♪ You sexy thing
Sexy thing you ♪
1703
01:25:23,828 --> 01:25:26,288
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
1704
01:25:27,373 --> 01:25:29,207
♪ Since you came along ♪
1705
01:25:29,292 --> 01:25:31,334
♪ You sexy thing... ♪
1706
01:25:31,419 --> 01:25:33,003
[chuckles]
1707
01:25:33,087 --> 01:25:34,170
[laughs]
1708
01:25:38,634 --> 01:25:40,677
[both chuckle]
1709
01:25:42,096 --> 01:25:45,432
♪ Where did you come from, baby? ♪
1710
01:25:46,892 --> 01:25:48,768
[chuckling]
1711
01:25:51,480 --> 01:25:55,400
♪ How did you know
I needed you so badly? ♪
1712
01:25:56,235 --> 01:25:57,777
[screams]
1713
01:25:58,446 --> 01:26:00,155
[both chuckle]
1714
01:26:06,954 --> 01:26:08,872
♪ Oh! ♪
1715
01:26:08,956 --> 01:26:11,624
♪ You sexy thing
You sexy thing ♪
1716
01:26:13,794 --> 01:26:16,296
♪ You sexy thing
You sexy thing ♪
1717
01:26:17,590 --> 01:26:18,882
[Duane] Whoa!
1718
01:26:18,966 --> 01:26:21,134
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- Oh.
1719
01:26:21,218 --> 01:26:23,970
No. Slow down. Whoa.
1720
01:26:24,055 --> 01:26:26,306
- No, uh.
- [Blaine screams]
1721
01:26:26,390 --> 01:26:27,682
[Duane] Oh, no!
1722
01:26:29,852 --> 01:26:30,769
[screams]
1723
01:26:32,188 --> 01:26:34,272
Where the fuck are we?
1724
01:26:34,357 --> 01:26:35,648
Fuck that!
1725
01:26:37,943 --> 01:26:39,944
[both screaming]
1726
01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:59,172
[car engine revving]
1727
01:27:00,841 --> 01:27:03,510
[both panting]
1728
01:27:06,097 --> 01:27:08,306
[crowd cheering]
1729
01:27:09,392 --> 01:27:10,767
[screaming]
1730
01:27:35,418 --> 01:27:38,002
[groaning, screaming]
1731
01:27:38,087 --> 01:27:39,879
[cheering]
1732
01:27:40,923 --> 01:27:44,092
There were two guys in there.
Where did they go?
1733
01:27:44,885 --> 01:27:46,970
- Hey!
- [Duane] Thanks for the truck, buddy!
1734
01:27:49,014 --> 01:27:50,098
[Blaine] Whoo!
1735
01:27:51,225 --> 01:27:53,309
[rock music playing]
1736
01:27:59,358 --> 01:28:00,859
Whoa! Whoa!
1737
01:28:03,195 --> 01:28:04,821
[laughing]
1738
01:28:18,294 --> 01:28:19,294
Oh.
1739
01:28:21,464 --> 01:28:22,589
[groans]
1740
01:28:23,424 --> 01:28:26,009
[clicks tongue, sniffles]
1741
01:28:27,261 --> 01:28:29,971
[blows raspberries]
1742
01:28:30,055 --> 01:28:33,349
[breathes rapidly, burbles]
1743
01:28:42,193 --> 01:28:43,193
Uh...
1744
01:28:44,570 --> 01:28:45,778
[whispers] I think you...
1745
01:28:46,697 --> 01:28:48,281
- [jingling]
- Oh?
1746
01:28:50,159 --> 01:28:51,993
Yeah. [chuckles]
1747
01:28:52,077 --> 01:28:54,704
[man on PA] Silver City.
Next stop, Silver City.
1748
01:28:54,788 --> 01:28:58,458
Silver City? It is the finish line.
1749
01:28:58,542 --> 01:29:01,211
I made it! I made it!
1750
01:29:04,006 --> 01:29:07,217
The key. Oh, where is the key?
1751
01:29:09,094 --> 01:29:11,763
Where did that go? What have you...
1752
01:29:11,847 --> 01:29:14,933
- Where is the key, my little baby?
- Excuse me.
1753
01:29:15,017 --> 01:29:16,559
I think I am touching it.
1754
01:29:16,644 --> 01:29:17,852
- Yes, I am.
- Get away from him!
1755
01:29:17,937 --> 01:29:19,562
- I can feel it. I can feel it.
- Hey!
1756
01:29:19,647 --> 01:29:20,939
It's very small.
1757
01:29:21,690 --> 01:29:23,149
[woman] I'm calling the conductor!
1758
01:29:23,234 --> 01:29:25,401
[Enrico] I have it! I got... I got it!
1759
01:29:25,486 --> 01:29:28,905
[locksmith] Wait! Wait!
Come back! Don't leave me!
1760
01:29:28,989 --> 01:29:30,907
[cow moos]
1761
01:29:32,660 --> 01:29:36,621
[panting] Come on! Come on, baby!
1762
01:29:38,374 --> 01:29:39,457
Giddyap!
1763
01:29:40,584 --> 01:29:42,168
Ah! Ah!
1764
01:29:42,253 --> 01:29:44,045
[car engine sputtering]
1765
01:29:44,129 --> 01:29:46,881
Come on, baby. Just one more mile.
1766
01:29:47,800 --> 01:29:50,468
- Just one mile! Come on!
- [Nick] Come on.
1767
01:29:51,679 --> 01:29:52,762
Randy?
1768
01:29:54,390 --> 01:29:56,182
Uh, hey, honey. How did you sleep?
1769
01:30:02,106 --> 01:30:03,439
[Blaine garbles]
1770
01:30:04,858 --> 01:30:07,986
- Pass. Pass him.
- [Duane] I can't. We're too big.
1771
01:30:08,070 --> 01:30:12,115
There's Silver City. We're here. Move!
1772
01:30:14,660 --> 01:30:16,661
- They've stopped.
- No.
1773
01:30:17,788 --> 01:30:18,621
[beeps]
1774
01:30:19,790 --> 01:30:21,249
They're moving. Look.
1775
01:30:25,588 --> 01:30:26,963
- Oh.
- [horse snorts]
1776
01:30:30,634 --> 01:30:32,427
- [Jason] Go, Dad!
- [Kimberly] Come on, Dad!
1777
01:30:32,511 --> 01:30:33,720
[Jason] Go!
1778
01:30:33,804 --> 01:30:35,471
[Jason shouts indistinctly]
1779
01:30:35,556 --> 01:30:36,598
I can smell it!
1780
01:30:36,682 --> 01:30:40,643
[all] ♪ Daisy, Daisy ♪
1781
01:30:40,728 --> 01:30:43,855
♪ Give me your answer true ♪
1782
01:30:43,939 --> 01:30:46,399
[continues indistinctly]
1783
01:30:55,618 --> 01:30:57,952
- Hey! Hey! Stop the bus!
- Stop the bus!
1784
01:30:58,037 --> 01:30:59,787
Stop the bus! We got to get off!
1785
01:30:59,872 --> 01:31:03,082
Whoa! Ladies, ladies, ladies.
You know the rules.
1786
01:31:03,167 --> 01:31:05,251
We're not crazy, lady.
1787
01:31:05,336 --> 01:31:07,211
We should've bought a squirrel.
We didn't buy a squirrel.
1788
01:31:07,296 --> 01:31:08,755
Which is why we stole the rocket car.
1789
01:31:08,839 --> 01:31:10,006
- [gasps]
- And we can still win.
1790
01:31:10,090 --> 01:31:11,382
If you won't tell that driver
to open the door,
1791
01:31:11,467 --> 01:31:13,217
I'm gonna crush you
like a cockroach in the night!
1792
01:31:13,302 --> 01:31:14,886
- Open the door! Tell him!
- [choking]
1793
01:31:14,970 --> 01:31:15,970
Tell him!
1794
01:31:16,055 --> 01:31:17,805
- Open the door.
- Good girl.
1795
01:31:39,286 --> 01:31:40,870
[bell ringing]
1796
01:31:40,954 --> 01:31:43,331
[Enrico stuttering]
1797
01:31:43,415 --> 01:31:45,833
How you do it? [groans]
1798
01:31:46,543 --> 01:31:48,002
It's Pollini.
1799
01:31:48,087 --> 01:31:50,254
- Enrico Pollini on a train.
- [engine hisses]
1800
01:31:50,339 --> 01:31:52,090
He just rolled into the station.
1801
01:31:52,174 --> 01:31:56,511
Well, what do you know?
Rip van Winkle pulled it off.
1802
01:31:56,595 --> 01:32:00,139
You've got to love a long shot. [laughs]
1803
01:32:23,372 --> 01:32:27,542
Is here, is here, is here.
1804
01:32:27,626 --> 01:32:29,961
- Here he comes.
- [chuckles] It's you.
1805
01:32:30,045 --> 01:32:32,964
- He's holding the key.
- Oh. Uh. See.
1806
01:32:33,048 --> 01:32:35,508
- You see.
- And he's going to the locker.
1807
01:32:37,553 --> 01:32:40,847
Mr. Pollini, well done, sir.
And congratulations.
1808
01:32:40,931 --> 01:32:44,183
On behalf of Mr. Donald Sinclair,
the Venetian Hotel and Casino...
1809
01:32:44,268 --> 01:32:45,685
[snores]
1810
01:32:47,479 --> 01:32:49,105
[snoring continues]
1811
01:32:50,524 --> 01:32:52,275
Mr. Grisham, is it over?
1812
01:33:00,534 --> 01:33:02,618
- [Blaine] Get out of the way!
- [Merrill] Open it!
1813
01:33:02,703 --> 01:33:04,746
[all clamoring]
1814
01:33:06,790 --> 01:33:08,082
[all sighing]
1815
01:33:08,167 --> 01:33:09,625
[snoring]
1816
01:33:09,710 --> 01:33:11,377
He's sleeping!
1817
01:33:11,462 --> 01:33:13,880
[all clamoring]
1818
01:33:29,730 --> 01:33:30,938
[snorts]
1819
01:33:31,982 --> 01:33:33,065
Did I win?
1820
01:33:33,776 --> 01:33:34,776
What?
1821
01:33:34,860 --> 01:33:38,488
Vicky, you let go of this bag
or I swear, I swear to God,
1822
01:33:38,572 --> 01:33:40,531
I'll report you to the escort service.
1823
01:33:40,616 --> 01:33:43,159
Uh, Mr. Grisham, what's going on?
1824
01:33:43,243 --> 01:33:44,744
[Grisham] The hooker! The hooker!
1825
01:33:44,828 --> 01:33:46,496
The hooker is taking the money!
1826
01:33:46,580 --> 01:33:47,914
Wh... What hooker?
1827
01:33:47,998 --> 01:33:49,791
[Grisham] Vicky, from the hotel.
1828
01:33:50,793 --> 01:33:52,126
Pepto-Bismol?
1829
01:33:52,211 --> 01:33:54,587
[Grisham] Vicky,
I told you to wait in the car!
1830
01:33:54,671 --> 01:33:56,714
What the hell is she doing there?
1831
01:33:56,799 --> 01:33:59,342
[Grisham] I brought her.
I... I'm sorry, Mr. Sinclair.
1832
01:33:59,426 --> 01:34:00,927
She said she liked me.
1833
01:34:01,011 --> 01:34:03,346
But I'm beginning to think
she was only interested in the money!
1834
01:34:03,430 --> 01:34:04,555
[all] Oh.
1835
01:34:04,640 --> 01:34:06,265
- [all shouting]
- [gasps]
1836
01:34:09,228 --> 01:34:11,646
- Come with me.
- I'll drive.
1837
01:34:12,898 --> 01:34:14,816
[all shouting]
1838
01:34:19,655 --> 01:34:21,697
- [horn honking]
- [screaming]
1839
01:34:25,702 --> 01:34:28,204
So long, suckers! Whoo!
1840
01:34:29,122 --> 01:34:32,250
- [cow moos]
- [locksmith screams]
1841
01:34:32,334 --> 01:34:33,501
[Vicky screams]
1842
01:34:33,585 --> 01:34:35,253
- [locksmith groans]
- [cow moos]
1843
01:34:35,337 --> 01:34:36,629
The bus! The bus!
1844
01:34:36,713 --> 01:34:39,340
- You want to steal a bus?
- Yes, I do.
1845
01:34:39,424 --> 01:34:41,676
Oh, my God, what have I done?
1846
01:34:41,760 --> 01:34:43,427
[cow moos]
1847
01:34:43,512 --> 01:34:46,097
Help! Somebody help me! Ahh!
1848
01:34:47,641 --> 01:34:48,516
Ahh!
1849
01:34:48,600 --> 01:34:50,434
[Grisham] This thing
has got a mind of its own!
1850
01:34:51,854 --> 01:34:53,187
[all shouting]
1851
01:34:53,272 --> 01:34:55,189
[Blaine] He's getting away. Go!
1852
01:34:55,274 --> 01:34:56,858
Oh, hey!
1853
01:34:56,942 --> 01:34:59,402
- Finders keepers, pal.
- [Grisham] That's mine!
1854
01:34:59,486 --> 01:35:01,737
I see it! I see it! Relax!
1855
01:35:03,740 --> 01:35:04,866
[locksmith] Oh!
1856
01:35:04,950 --> 01:35:06,617
- Oh! No!
- [Grisham] Oh, no!
1857
01:35:06,702 --> 01:35:08,369
- [locksmith] No!
- [screams]
1858
01:35:08,453 --> 01:35:10,079
- [locksmith cries]
- [horn honking]
1859
01:35:10,163 --> 01:35:12,373
- [screams]
- [cow moos]
1860
01:35:13,250 --> 01:35:14,584
[car crashes]
1861
01:35:14,668 --> 01:35:16,794
It means it's a scratch. Nobody wins.
1862
01:35:16,879 --> 01:35:20,631
Bullshit! I'll tell you what it means.
It means, we're going into extra innings.
1863
01:35:20,716 --> 01:35:22,300
- [clicks]
- Carla, call the airport.
1864
01:35:22,384 --> 01:35:23,926
Tell them to get my other Lear ready.
1865
01:35:24,011 --> 01:35:26,095
Gordon, you stay here.
Keep your eye on the board.
1866
01:35:26,179 --> 01:35:27,305
Tell us where they're going.
1867
01:35:27,389 --> 01:35:30,683
Gentlemen, grab your drinks.
We're going to Silver City.
1868
01:35:36,023 --> 01:35:38,357
[all groaning]
1869
01:35:39,818 --> 01:35:41,485
[vomits]
1870
01:35:41,570 --> 01:35:43,362
- [stewardess] Is that it?
- That's it.
1871
01:35:43,447 --> 01:35:45,698
Thank the pilot. Tell him to level off.
1872
01:35:45,782 --> 01:35:48,910
- [groans]
- All right, who had Mr. Kamichi?
1873
01:35:48,994 --> 01:35:51,287
- It was me.
- [all cheering]
1874
01:35:51,371 --> 01:35:53,080
Well done. Congratulations!
1875
01:35:53,165 --> 01:35:55,207
- Very good.
- [all chucking]
1876
01:35:56,001 --> 01:35:58,294
[all clamoring]
1877
01:35:58,378 --> 01:36:01,255
- [Randy] Keep going!
- [Blaine] Come on!
1878
01:36:02,424 --> 01:36:04,967
There it is. It's coming down.
It's coming down right there.
1879
01:36:05,052 --> 01:36:06,802
[Merrill] Oh, my God, I see it.
1880
01:36:06,887 --> 01:36:09,764
[all shouting]
1881
01:36:09,848 --> 01:36:11,223
[all screaming]
1882
01:36:19,191 --> 01:36:21,275
- [Merrill] Oh, my God!
- [Owen] Where's my money?
1883
01:36:21,360 --> 01:36:23,402
- [Nick] Where is it?
- There it is!
1884
01:36:23,487 --> 01:36:25,279
- [Randy] Go!
- [Vera] Get it!
1885
01:36:25,364 --> 01:36:28,240
[all clamoring]
1886
01:36:28,325 --> 01:36:31,869
- [Beverly] Get it! Get it!
- [Blaine] Grab that money!
1887
01:36:31,954 --> 01:36:34,372
- [Nick] Get it down!
- [Enrico] Here we take it.
1888
01:36:34,456 --> 01:36:36,082
Open it! Open it!
1889
01:36:36,166 --> 01:36:38,626
[all cheering]
1890
01:36:39,836 --> 01:36:42,546
- [crowd cheering]
- [rock music playing]
1891
01:36:48,470 --> 01:36:50,429
- Ah!
- Oh!
1892
01:36:51,723 --> 01:36:53,432
Now, that is one hell of an entrance!
1893
01:36:53,517 --> 01:36:55,893
Whoa! It's Smash Mouth!
1894
01:36:55,978 --> 01:36:58,312
- [Blaine laughs]
- What's going on over here?
1895
01:36:58,397 --> 01:36:59,689
[chuckling]
1896
01:36:59,773 --> 01:37:00,773
What's this?
1897
01:37:01,441 --> 01:37:03,401
- Money.
- Jesus, how much is this?
1898
01:37:04,111 --> 01:37:05,486
Two million dollars.
1899
01:37:05,570 --> 01:37:08,030
- [Blaine laughs]
- Two... Two million...
1900
01:37:08,115 --> 01:37:11,617
- Two million dollars, everybody!
- [crowd cheering]
1901
01:37:11,702 --> 01:37:13,995
[all screaming]
1902
01:37:14,079 --> 01:37:15,746
Two million dollars!
1903
01:37:15,831 --> 01:37:17,957
On the bus, we talked about it.
1904
01:37:18,041 --> 01:37:22,128
And we decide to share all the money.
1905
01:37:23,255 --> 01:37:25,256
They're gonna share
all the money, everybody!
1906
01:37:26,508 --> 01:37:28,134
Oh, man!
1907
01:37:29,177 --> 01:37:30,845
Give these guys some jackets.
1908
01:37:30,929 --> 01:37:33,347
Get these jack...
Get these jackets over here.
1909
01:37:35,017 --> 01:37:36,600
So, what's the story, man?
1910
01:37:36,685 --> 01:37:39,228
You guys some kind of organization?
What's going on?
1911
01:37:39,312 --> 01:37:42,148
No, no. We... We just met this...
this morning.
1912
01:37:42,232 --> 01:37:45,192
They just met this morning, everybody!
1913
01:37:45,277 --> 01:37:46,777
Oh, my God!
1914
01:37:46,862 --> 01:37:49,739
I almost didn't come along,
but, uh, then I... I met Tracy and...
1915
01:37:49,823 --> 01:37:51,991
Well, great things happen all at once.
1916
01:37:52,075 --> 01:37:53,534
Oh, this is beautiful, baby!
1917
01:37:53,618 --> 01:37:55,536
- This is beautiful! Oh!
- [crowd cheering]
1918
01:37:55,620 --> 01:37:57,913
Great things happen. I don't know.
1919
01:37:59,291 --> 01:38:00,958
Feed the Earth, baby. Feed the Earth.
1920
01:38:01,043 --> 01:38:03,127
We're gonna go ahead
and check the tote board right now
1921
01:38:03,211 --> 01:38:05,087
and see where we're at. Okay?
1922
01:38:05,172 --> 01:38:06,797
Come on, baby. Let it roll.
1923
01:38:08,091 --> 01:38:09,341
Come on, baby.
1924
01:38:14,514 --> 01:38:16,390
[all] No!
1925
01:38:16,475 --> 01:38:18,225
[all] No, no, no!
1926
01:38:18,310 --> 01:38:19,643
You don't understand.
1927
01:38:19,728 --> 01:38:21,812
[all clamoring]
1928
01:38:21,897 --> 01:38:23,856
[Enrico] The money is going with us.
1929
01:38:25,358 --> 01:38:28,694
Excuse me, we work for Feed the Earth.
1930
01:38:29,738 --> 01:38:31,572
And these are some of our children.
1931
01:38:31,656 --> 01:38:33,199
[crowd cheering]
1932
01:38:36,745 --> 01:38:41,373
I don't know who you people are,
or... or where you came from, but...
1933
01:38:42,709 --> 01:38:43,959
God bless you.
1934
01:38:46,171 --> 01:38:49,715
Tonight, you've given to these kids
1935
01:38:49,800 --> 01:38:53,219
and their brothers and sisters
all over the world
1936
01:38:53,303 --> 01:38:54,929
more than money.
1937
01:38:55,013 --> 01:38:56,847
You've given them back their faith.
1938
01:38:57,682 --> 01:39:00,601
Their faith in the goodness of people.
1939
01:39:01,311 --> 01:39:04,063
[crowd cheering]
1940
01:39:05,357 --> 01:39:07,233
[speaking Spanish]
1941
01:39:08,819 --> 01:39:12,613
She said, "You are just
like the 12 disciples. "
1942
01:39:12,697 --> 01:39:15,658
[crowd cheering]
1943
01:39:15,742 --> 01:39:17,326
Aw!
1944
01:39:23,333 --> 01:39:24,500
Thank you.
1945
01:39:25,085 --> 01:39:26,752
Aw.
1946
01:39:41,017 --> 01:39:42,059
Yeah.
1947
01:39:43,728 --> 01:39:44,728
Yeah.
1948
01:40:09,671 --> 01:40:12,882
[cheering continues]
1949
01:40:12,966 --> 01:40:14,675
Forget it!
1950
01:40:14,759 --> 01:40:17,803
Look, all these other disciples can do
whatever they want with their share.
1951
01:40:17,888 --> 01:40:19,555
But this money is going home with us.
1952
01:40:19,639 --> 01:40:21,348
- [Vera] What?
- Period. End of story.
1953
01:40:21,433 --> 01:40:24,351
- [Tracy] Come on.
- Put the money in the bag, carrot!
1954
01:40:28,023 --> 01:40:29,565
You don't know me, man.
1955
01:40:30,984 --> 01:40:32,067
[Blaine] Come here.
1956
01:40:35,238 --> 01:40:36,488
[garbles] It's you!
1957
01:40:39,201 --> 01:40:43,329
[garbles] I'm so proud of you.
Giving away all your money?
1958
01:40:45,832 --> 01:40:47,958
- [crowd cheering]
- [Blaine] Whoo!
1959
01:40:49,669 --> 01:40:50,836
Whoo!
1960
01:40:53,131 --> 01:40:55,424
- Whoo!
- [crowd cheering]
1961
01:40:56,051 --> 01:40:57,468
Come on.
1962
01:40:59,846 --> 01:41:02,598
- [garbles] Duane.
- No, no. No.
1963
01:41:06,144 --> 01:41:09,188
[garbles] Mama is watching us
from Heaven right now.
1964
01:41:11,983 --> 01:41:13,651
What would she do?
1965
01:41:17,864 --> 01:41:20,824
[sobs] It's for starving children, Duane.
1966
01:41:23,745 --> 01:41:25,079
Do it for Mom.
1967
01:41:34,214 --> 01:41:37,007
[crowd cheering]
1968
01:41:38,718 --> 01:41:40,427
- Yeah!
- [laughs]
1969
01:41:40,512 --> 01:41:41,845
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
1970
01:41:47,978 --> 01:41:49,603
[Duane] Whoo! Yeah!
1971
01:41:50,647 --> 01:41:52,648
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, um...
1972
01:41:52,732 --> 01:41:55,067
I'd like to introduce
the real star of tonight's show.
1973
01:41:55,151 --> 01:41:57,403
I can honestly say
that none of us would be here tonight
1974
01:41:57,487 --> 01:41:59,280
if it wasn't for this man.
1975
01:41:59,364 --> 01:42:00,948
He's the man with the plan,
1976
01:42:01,032 --> 01:42:02,783
- Mr. Donald Sinclair!
- Whoo!
1977
01:42:04,035 --> 01:42:07,621
- What? Hi.
- One of the wealthiest men in the world!
1978
01:42:08,498 --> 01:42:10,791
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Donald Sinclair!
1979
01:42:10,875 --> 01:42:12,293
You are the man.
1980
01:42:12,377 --> 01:42:14,420
[Nick] Get a camera on him.
There you go. Nice shot.
1981
01:42:14,504 --> 01:42:17,256
- There he is.
- Hi. Hello. [chuckles]
1982
01:42:17,340 --> 01:42:20,426
These men, they didn't have
to be here tonight.
1983
01:42:20,510 --> 01:42:22,928
No, they could be
off kicking back in the Riviera,
1984
01:42:23,013 --> 01:42:26,640
or in Vegas blowing their money
on some meaningless idiotic bet.
1985
01:42:26,725 --> 01:42:28,434
[chuckles]
1986
01:42:28,518 --> 01:42:30,227
They couldn't do that,
1987
01:42:30,312 --> 01:42:32,980
not when there were children
going to bed hungry every night.
1988
01:42:33,690 --> 01:42:34,940
Isn't that right, fellas?
1989
01:42:36,151 --> 01:42:37,735
Whatever. [chuckles]
1990
01:42:37,819 --> 01:42:40,612
Mr. Donald Sinclair, and his partners
1991
01:42:40,697 --> 01:42:43,824
want you, and the millions
of people watching at home,
1992
01:42:43,908 --> 01:42:46,910
to know they plan to match
whatever you raise tonight,
1993
01:42:46,995 --> 01:42:49,038
- dollar for dollar!
- [screams]
1994
01:42:49,122 --> 01:42:50,831
- Dollar for dollar!
- Dollar for dollar!
1995
01:42:52,292 --> 01:42:53,667
[chuckles]
1996
01:42:53,752 --> 01:42:55,836
[Smash Mouth] A matching fund, everybody!
1997
01:42:55,920 --> 01:42:58,297
Hey, let's hit the phones
out there and crank it up
1998
01:42:58,381 --> 01:43:01,216
because we're gonna feed
the whole world tonight!
1999
01:43:02,594 --> 01:43:07,514
♪ Somebody once told me
The world is gonna roll me ♪
2000
01:43:07,599 --> 01:43:11,560
♪ I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed ♪
2001
01:43:11,644 --> 01:43:13,854
♪ And she was looking kind of dumb ♪
2002
01:43:13,938 --> 01:43:16,023
♪ With her finger and her thumb ♪
2003
01:43:16,107 --> 01:43:18,442
♪ In the shape of an L ♪
2004
01:43:18,526 --> 01:43:20,736
- ♪ On her forehead... ♪
- [cries]
2005
01:43:20,820 --> 01:43:23,781
♪ Well, the years start coming
And they don't stop coming ♪
2006
01:43:23,865 --> 01:43:26,116
♪ Fed to the rules
And I hit the ground running ♪
2007
01:43:26,201 --> 01:43:28,160
♪ Didn't make sense
Not to live for fun... ♪
2008
01:43:28,244 --> 01:43:30,621
[cries] Mommy!
2009
01:43:30,705 --> 01:43:32,206
♪ So much to do, so much to see ♪
2010
01:43:32,290 --> 01:43:34,917
♪ So what's wrong
With taking the back streets? ♪
2011
01:43:35,001 --> 01:43:36,919
♪ You'll never know
If you don't go ♪
2012
01:43:37,003 --> 01:43:39,129
♪ You'll never shine
If you don't glow ♪
2013
01:43:39,214 --> 01:43:43,926
♪ Hey now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play ♪
2014
01:43:44,010 --> 01:43:48,555
♪ Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid ♪
2015
01:43:48,640 --> 01:43:51,809
♪ All that glitters is gold ♪
2016
01:43:51,893 --> 01:43:56,897
♪ Only shooting stars
Break the mold ♪
2017
01:43:56,981 --> 01:43:59,191
♪ It's a cool place
And they say it gets colder ♪
2018
01:43:59,275 --> 01:44:01,652
♪ You're bundled up now
Wait till you get older ♪
2019
01:44:01,736 --> 01:44:03,612
♪ But the meteor men
Beg to differ ♪
2020
01:44:03,696 --> 01:44:05,447
♪ Judging by the hole
In the satellite picture ♪
2021
01:44:05,532 --> 01:44:07,699
♪ The ice we skate
Is getting pretty thin ♪
2022
01:44:07,784 --> 01:44:10,160
♪ The water's getting warm
So you might as well swim ♪
2023
01:44:10,245 --> 01:44:12,538
♪ My world's on fire
How about yours? ♪
2024
01:44:12,622 --> 01:44:15,499
♪ And that's the way I like it
And I'll never get bored ♪
2025
01:44:15,583 --> 01:44:19,545
♪ Hey now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play ♪
2026
01:44:19,629 --> 01:44:23,924
♪ Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid ♪
2027
01:44:24,008 --> 01:44:27,219
♪ All that glitters is gold ♪
2028
01:44:27,303 --> 01:44:32,307
♪ Only shooting stars
Break the mold ♪
2029
01:44:33,143 --> 01:44:35,185
- [harmonica playing]
- Whoo-hoo!
2030
01:44:36,271 --> 01:44:37,312
♪ Go for the moon ♪
2031
01:44:37,397 --> 01:44:41,817
♪ Go, go, go, go, go
Go for the moon ♪
2032
01:44:44,612 --> 01:44:46,155
♪ Go for the moon ♪
2033
01:44:46,239 --> 01:44:50,409
♪ Go, go, go, oh, yeah
Go for the moon ♪
2034
01:44:50,493 --> 01:44:54,496
♪ Hey now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play ♪
2035
01:44:54,581 --> 01:44:59,001
♪ Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid ♪
2036
01:44:59,085 --> 01:45:02,421
♪ All that glitters is gold ♪
2037
01:45:02,505 --> 01:45:05,090
- ♪ Only shooting stars... ♪
- [woman] Whoo!
2038
01:45:05,175 --> 01:45:07,009
♪ Somebody once asked ♪
2039
01:45:07,093 --> 01:45:09,386
♪ Could I spare some change for gas? ♪
2040
01:45:09,471 --> 01:45:13,056
♪ I need to get myself away
From this place... ♪
2041
01:45:14,184 --> 01:45:16,518
- ♪ I said "Yep," what a concept ♪
- [screams]
2042
01:45:16,603 --> 01:45:18,103
♪ I could use a little fuel myself ♪
2043
01:45:18,188 --> 01:45:22,524
♪ And we could all use
A little change ♪
2044
01:45:22,609 --> 01:45:24,610
♪ Well, the years start coming... ♪
2045
01:45:24,694 --> 01:45:25,819
Ah...
2046
01:45:25,904 --> 01:45:27,237
All right!
2047
01:45:28,323 --> 01:45:29,698
[Jason] Yeah!
2048
01:45:29,782 --> 01:45:30,699
Whoo-hoo!
2049
01:45:31,534 --> 01:45:33,076
[screaming]
2050
01:45:34,662 --> 01:45:36,246
Ah!
2051
01:45:36,331 --> 01:45:38,415
♪ You'll never know
If you don't go! Go! ♪
2052
01:45:38,500 --> 01:45:40,459
♪ You'll never shine
If you don't glow ♪
2053
01:45:40,543 --> 01:45:42,711
♪ Hey now, you're an all-star... ♪
2054
01:45:42,795 --> 01:45:44,254
Yeah! Whoo!
2055
01:45:45,006 --> 01:45:49,218
♪ Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid ♪
2056
01:45:49,302 --> 01:45:52,471
♪ All that glitters is gold ♪
2057
01:45:52,555 --> 01:45:54,389
♪ Only shooting stars... ♪
2058
01:45:54,474 --> 01:45:55,682
Whoo-ho-ho-ho-ho!
2059
01:45:57,519 --> 01:46:00,979
♪ All that glitters is gold ♪
2060
01:46:01,064 --> 01:46:07,402
♪ Only shooting stars
Break the mold ♪
2061
01:46:09,405 --> 01:46:11,281
Thank you! Good night!
2062
01:46:17,497 --> 01:46:20,207
["Rat Race" playing]
2063
01:46:27,215 --> 01:46:30,008
♪ Well, I wake up in the morning
Each and every day ♪
2064
01:46:32,220 --> 01:46:34,930
♪ And I sit down at the table
And I hear my daddy say ♪
2065
01:46:36,975 --> 01:46:39,309
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
2066
01:46:39,394 --> 01:46:41,812
♪ Life is nothing
But a slap in the face ♪
2067
01:46:41,896 --> 01:46:44,273
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
2068
01:46:44,357 --> 01:46:46,733
♪ Life is nothing
But a fat rat race ♪
2069
01:46:46,818 --> 01:46:51,738
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
2070
01:46:51,823 --> 01:46:57,119
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
2071
01:46:57,203 --> 01:47:00,038
♪ Every night I have a dream
That you're taking off your dress ♪
2072
01:47:02,375 --> 01:47:05,377
♪ The only thing you're wearing
Is a button on your chest ♪
2073
01:47:07,088 --> 01:47:09,381
♪ And the button
It says nothing ♪
2074
01:47:09,465 --> 01:47:12,050
♪ Life is nothing
But a slap in the face ♪
2075
01:47:12,135 --> 01:47:14,469
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
2076
01:47:14,554 --> 01:47:16,847
♪ Life is nothing
But a fat rat race ♪
2077
01:47:16,931 --> 01:47:21,810
♪ What is life? ♪
2078
01:47:21,894 --> 01:47:24,354
♪ What is life? ♪
2079
01:47:24,439 --> 01:47:26,857
- ♪ A rat race ♪
- ♪ A rat race ♪
2080
01:47:26,941 --> 01:47:31,820
♪ What is life? ♪
2081
01:47:31,904 --> 01:47:34,364
♪ What is life? ♪
2082
01:47:34,449 --> 01:47:37,159
- ♪ A rat race ♪
- ♪ A rat race ♪
2083
01:47:37,243 --> 01:47:39,745
- ♪ A rat race ♪
- ♪ A rat, rat race ♪
2084
01:47:39,829 --> 01:47:44,207
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
2085
01:47:44,292 --> 01:47:47,127
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
2086
01:47:47,211 --> 01:47:50,547
♪ It's a jungle out there
And I know I don't belong ♪
2087
01:47:52,300 --> 01:47:55,469
♪ So all night long
I just sing my stupid song ♪
2088
01:47:57,555 --> 01:48:00,015
♪ Get a body out in the rat
In the race ♪
2089
01:48:00,099 --> 01:48:02,476
♪ Get a body out in the rat
In the race ♪
2090
01:48:02,560 --> 01:48:04,645
♪ Get a body out in the rat... ♪
2091
01:48:04,729 --> 01:48:08,565
[rapper freestyles]
2092
01:48:08,650 --> 01:48:10,317
♪ Jam to the sound of the storm ♪
2093
01:48:10,401 --> 01:48:12,235
♪ Coming strictly from
The B-A-H-A-M-A-S ♪
2094
01:48:12,320 --> 01:48:16,740
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
2095
01:48:16,824 --> 01:48:22,162
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
2096
01:48:22,246 --> 01:48:24,998
[overlapping singing]
2097
01:48:25,083 --> 01:48:27,542
♪ Life ain't nothing but a big rat race ♪
2098
01:48:30,046 --> 01:48:31,963
♪ Life ain't nothing but a big rat race ♪
2099
01:48:32,048 --> 01:48:34,424
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
2100
01:48:34,509 --> 01:48:36,927
♪ Life is nothing
But a slap in the face ♪
2101
01:48:37,011 --> 01:48:39,513
♪ Life is nothing
It's a nothing ♪
2102
01:48:39,597 --> 01:48:41,890
♪ Life is nothing
But a fat rat race ♪
2103
01:48:41,974 --> 01:48:46,895
♪ What is life? ♪
2104
01:48:46,979 --> 01:48:49,648
♪ What is life? ♪
2105
01:48:49,732 --> 01:48:51,858
- ♪ A rat race ♪
- ♪ A rat race ♪
2106
01:48:51,943 --> 01:48:56,863
♪ What is life? ♪
2107
01:48:56,948 --> 01:48:59,408
♪ What is life? ♪
2108
01:48:59,492 --> 01:49:02,119
- ♪ A rat race ♪
- ♪ A rat, rat race ♪
2109
01:49:02,203 --> 01:49:04,329
- ♪ A rat race ♪
- ♪ A rat, rat race ♪
2110
01:49:04,414 --> 01:49:09,209
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
2111
01:49:09,293 --> 01:49:14,214
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
2112
01:49:14,298 --> 01:49:16,091
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
2113
01:49:17,552 --> 01:49:20,011
♪ Get a body out in the rat
In the race ♪
2114
01:49:20,096 --> 01:49:22,514
♪ Get a body out in the rat
In the race ♪
2115
01:49:22,598 --> 01:49:24,975
♪ Get a body out in the rat
In the race ♪
2116
01:49:27,562 --> 01:49:29,980
♪ Get a body out in the rat
In the race ♪
2117
01:49:30,064 --> 01:49:31,815
[singing continues indistinctly]
2118
01:49:39,574 --> 01:49:40,949
[music ends]