1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:11,776 --> 00:00:14,279 Hey, Rand, I got the kayaks, man. C'mon, let's go. 2 00:00:14,779 --> 00:00:16,246 Ssst! Phil, keep it down . C'mere. 3 00:00:16,281 --> 00:00:18,533 Listen, I can't leave. I can't go kayaking today. 4 00:00:18,568 --> 00:00:20,785 Mr. Lahey, he's talking about liquor and stuff. 5 00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:22,752 I just can't leave him alone right now. 6 00:00:22,787 --> 00:00:25,540 I've never kayaked, Phil. I don't know anything about it 7 00:00:25,575 --> 00:00:28,293 Oh, c'mon, I can show yo u the basics here on the lawn. 8 00:00:28,793 --> 00:00:30,545 Nothing to it. C'mon, you and me. 9 00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:32,262 See, you're getting the hang of it. 10 00:00:32,297 --> 00:00:34,799 Yeah, it seems like it'd be pretty easy, Phil 11 00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,318 Randy, I gotta ask you something. 12 00:00:36,353 --> 00:00:37,833 What is it about Jimmy and the liquor? 13 00:00:38,303 --> 00:00:39,269 Well, Mr. Lahey loves liquor 14 00:00:39,304 --> 00:00:41,806 Hasn't had a drink in a long time, 15 00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:43,273 but he's been talking lately 16 00:00:43,308 --> 00:00:45,810 about how much he likes the taste of it, 17 00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:47,277 getting drunk, the smell of it 18 00:00:47,312 --> 00:00:50,315 I'm just worried he's gonn a fall off the wagon, Phil. 19 00:00:50,815 --> 00:00:53,317 You should get some of those hypnosis tapes 20 00:00:53,352 --> 00:00:55,785 They really work for a fella 21 00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:58,823 - Duck, Phil! Bottle kids! - Ah! 22 00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,290 Jesus Christ! 23 00:01:00,325 --> 00:01:01,826 Stop throwing the friggin' bottles! 24 00:01:02,327 --> 00:01:04,829 Stop throwing them! 25 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,297 Ow! Oh, my gut! 26 00:01:07,332 --> 00:01:10,335 How do you like them now , Hamburglar! 27 00:01:11,836 --> 00:01:14,339 I'm friggin telling! 28 00:01:58,216 --> 00:02:00,968 Everybody's saying the trailer fire was my fault, 29 00:02:01,003 --> 00:02:03,686 , especially my old man, which I guess it kind of was 30 00:02:03,721 --> 00:02:06,724 , and I do feel bad his traile r burned down and everything 31 00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:09,192 but maybe if my dad and fucking Julian and Bubbles 32 00:02:09,227 --> 00:02:11,979 weren't out getting lap dances at a fucking strip club, 33 00:02:12,014 --> 00:02:14,732 getting drunk, the whole thing could have been preventeded, 34 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,199 for fucksakes. 35 00:02:16,234 --> 00:02:17,200 Oh, well, you know, 36 00:02:17,235 --> 00:02:19,737 things aren't too bad, all things considered. 37 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:21,704 Sure, it could be better, but, uh... 38 00:02:21,739 --> 00:02:24,742 , God takes care of the little sparrows in the sky 39 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:28,746 he's gonna take care of the guy in the chair. 40 00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:30,213 That's what God's like. 41 00:02:30,248 --> 00:02:32,750 I have God to thank for everything. 42 00:02:38,756 --> 00:02:40,223 - Hey, Dad. - Hey, buddy. 43 00:02:40,258 --> 00:02:42,260 Cooking some bacon for ya, buddy. 44 00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,726 Smells good, buddy. 45 00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:46,764 U - There's only three piece s left, but I'll give it to yo 46 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:48,033 as long as I can have the grease. 47 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:49,389 - You can have the grease. - Cool. 48 00:02:49,767 --> 00:02:52,019 Bacon frying and the sparrows chirping, Rick. 49 00:02:52,054 --> 00:02:54,272 It's all about the bacon and the sparrows, buddy. 50 00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:56,739 What the fuck are you talking about? 51 00:02:56,774 --> 00:03:00,278 Talking about the sparrows . Sparrows in the bible, buddy 52 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,780 You know, nothing to worry about. 53 00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:04,247 I'm not worried. 54 00:03:04,282 --> 00:03:07,285 My trailer's burned down. The sparrows aren't worried. 55 00:03:07,785 --> 00:03:09,787 Nobody's worried. Sparrows are stupid, Dad 56 00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:12,290 They don't give a fuck about anything. 57 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,256 Exactly my point, Rick. 58 00:03:13,291 --> 00:03:15,793 Maybe God forgives you for burning down my trailer. 59 00:03:16,294 --> 00:03:18,796 That's the point I'm trying to make. 60 00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:20,263 Does old Goddy-boy forgive you 61 00:03:20,298 --> 00:03:22,300 for getting lap dances and playing VLTs? 62 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:24,267 What's your point, Rick? 63 00:03:24,302 --> 00:03:27,805 There's nothing wrong with VLT s and getting drunk. 64 00:03:28,306 --> 00:03:30,808 You want some fucking baco n or not? 65 00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:32,775 Yes, Rick, I do. 66 00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:35,313 Rick, there's another point. We should be thankful 67 00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:37,280 for the bacon we're having this morning, 68 00:03:37,315 --> 00:03:39,817 'cause where do you think the bacon came from, Rick? 69 00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:41,319 From a cow. 70 00:03:48,326 --> 00:03:49,327 'Morning, Ray. 71 00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:50,828 Julian. 72 00:03:51,329 --> 00:03:53,331 Couldn't get a splash of rum off you, could I? 73 00:03:53,831 --> 00:03:55,298 No, I don't think so, buddy. 74 00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:56,799 Give him a fucking break , Julian. 75 00:03:56,834 --> 00:03:58,836 Don't you think we put him through enough? 76 00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:00,303 Look at this fucking place. We? 77 00:04:00,338 --> 00:04:02,840 What are you talking about, we? Oh, you're innocent now? 78 00:04:05,343 --> 00:04:07,845 Yes, can I order... 79 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,365 pancakes, please? 80 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,126 With syrup... 81 00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:15,758 and butter, 82 00:04:15,793 --> 00:04:18,321 bacon... 83 00:04:18,356 --> 00:04:20,823 hash browns... 84 00:04:20,858 --> 00:04:23,861 toasts with butter. 85 00:04:29,367 --> 00:04:31,334 Ah, fuck. 86 00:04:31,369 --> 00:04:33,371 That was gonna be delicious. 87 00:04:36,874 --> 00:04:37,874 - Hey, Bubs. - Hey, Ricky. 88 00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:39,842 Holy fuck, that bacon smells good. 89 00:04:39,877 --> 00:04:42,630 Is there any extra? Only a few pieces Bub. 90 00:04:42,665 --> 00:04:45,383 I gave it to, uh, gave it to the old man. 91 00:04:45,883 --> 00:04:48,886 I'm doing bread heels in grease. It's pretty good. 92 00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:51,156 You want half? Of an old bread heel? 93 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,391 Yeah, just dip it in bacon grease. 94 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:54,659 It's fucking awesome. 95 00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:55,858 - You do it too. - Yeah. 96 00:04:55,893 --> 00:04:57,895 You're not tricking me, are you? 97 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,403 It's kind of fucking dry , Ricky. 98 00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:06,904 Have you anything to drink 99 00:05:10,408 --> 00:05:12,410 There's a little bit lef t in that. 100 00:05:27,925 --> 00:05:29,927 You still pissed off? 101 00:05:33,431 --> 00:05:35,433 Well... 102 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,400 kind of. 103 00:05:37,435 --> 00:05:38,436 Yup, giving up liquor 104 00:05:38,936 --> 00:05:42,440 was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. 105 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:45,443 But the clarity that I feel right now 106 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,909 makes it all worthwhile. 107 00:05:46,944 --> 00:05:50,948 I can honestly say I will never drink again. 108 00:05:51,449 --> 00:05:52,450 Ever. 109 00:05:55,953 --> 00:05:58,956 I can't believe Trinity' s throwing bottles, Mr. Lahey. 110 00:05:59,457 --> 00:06:00,958 Shit apple. 111 00:06:08,466 --> 00:06:10,968 Time for your meds, buddy. Take two. 112 00:06:11,469 --> 00:06:14,472 I'm not taking those anymore , Ran-Ran-Bo-Bandy. 113 00:06:14,972 --> 00:06:17,224 I don't need 'em. They make me sleepy. 114 00:06:17,259 --> 00:06:19,619 Well, you gotta take them, Mr. Lahey. 115 00:06:19,654 --> 00:06:21,979 You don't wanna get back on the rye again. 116 00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:22,945 Remember what that was like? 117 00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:24,947 Well, it's a little bit stressful. 118 00:06:24,982 --> 00:06:27,485 I mean, Mr. Lahey's been doing really good. 119 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,986 Uh, he hasn't had a drink 120 00:06:29,487 --> 00:06:31,489 since the day he tried to kill Ricky, 121 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,491 and he had about 49 drinks that day. 122 00:06:33,991 --> 00:06:36,494 But lately, you know, he's been talking about liquor 123 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,960 and calling me Bo-Bandy, 124 00:06:37,995 --> 00:06:39,997 which he normally only doe s when he's drunk. 125 00:06:40,498 --> 00:06:42,500 So just the thought of him drinking again, 126 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,467 it scares the shit out of me 127 00:06:44,502 --> 00:06:46,022 - Ah, Bubbles, push it. - Come on, Ray. 128 00:06:46,504 --> 00:06:48,255 You don't use your arms anymore, either? 129 00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:50,007 Well, you're pushing me there, buddy. 130 00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:52,009 That's good, that's good. Dad! 131 00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:53,778 Dad, I wanna borrow the car! 132 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,478 Where's the clearing stick 133 00:06:55,513 --> 00:06:56,979 Just on the hood there, sweetie. 134 00:06:57,014 --> 00:06:59,016 You have to give it lots of gas, alright? 135 00:06:59,517 --> 00:07:01,519 It's still stalling quite a bit. Thanks. 136 00:07:03,521 --> 00:07:05,022 Isn't that precious? 137 00:07:10,528 --> 00:07:12,530 Ricky. Rick, Rick, Rick. What is your problem, man? 138 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,032 She's just a kid. Don't let her drive the car. 139 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,499 She's driving it around the park. 140 00:07:16,534 --> 00:07:18,501 It's none of your business , is it, Julian? 141 00:07:18,536 --> 00:07:22,039 It's not a big deal. My mu m used to let me drive the mower 142 00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,309 and the car around the par k before I was seven. 143 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,544 Yeah, and your mum's fucked in the head, Rick. 144 00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,563 Hey! You watch what you say about Tammy. 145 00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:30,548 Oh, you just think you're so big, don't you? 146 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,014 You and your precious books, Julian. 147 00:07:32,049 --> 00:07:33,551 What's wrong with reading books Ray? Huh? 148 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,017 I'm bettering myself here. 149 00:07:35,052 --> 00:07:36,519 You should probably do the same thing, Rick. 150 00:07:36,554 --> 00:07:38,556 What are you talking about? Stop it, would you? 151 00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:40,575 I'm out of here, boys. I'm out of here. 152 00:07:40,610 --> 00:07:42,836 - Dad, don't worry about it. - No, I'm going. 153 00:07:42,871 --> 00:07:45,027 I'm going, boys. Thanks for the drink, Ray. 154 00:07:45,062 --> 00:07:47,565 Oh, you're welcome, Julian . I was gonna give you a drink 155 00:07:48,065 --> 00:07:50,067 until you got all frickity-fucky on us. 156 00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:52,086 - You know what? - Don't give him a drink. 157 00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:54,071 You know what? I am gonna give you a drink. 158 00:07:54,572 --> 00:07:56,038 You know why? 'Cause the bible says share. 159 00:07:56,073 --> 00:07:58,576 Julian, the guy in the chair shares even with guys 160 00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,543 he doesn't wanna be around. Thanks, Ray. 161 00:08:00,578 --> 00:08:02,580 No, you're welcome, Julian . Take it and enjoy. 162 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,582 Don't leave the park, sweetie. 163 00:08:06,584 --> 00:08:09,587 Can't believe you took my last dad's drink, Julian. 164 00:08:10,087 --> 00:08:12,089 You're fucked. Would you just fuck off? 165 00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:13,591 - You fuck off. - No, you fuck off. 166 00:08:14,091 --> 00:08:17,595 Why don't you suck my cock? Why don'tyousuck it? 167 00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:18,561 - Boys! - Suck it first! 168 00:08:18,596 --> 00:08:20,563 Boys! Listen to yourselves ! You know what? 169 00:08:20,598 --> 00:08:24,602 You guys never used to say fuck off and suck this and - 170 00:08:27,104 --> 00:08:28,606 - Fuck. - I don't care 171 00:08:29,106 --> 00:08:31,108 for any of this. I'm going home. 172 00:08:31,609 --> 00:08:34,111 And I'm having fun today. Bubs, Bubs, Bubs. 173 00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:36,078 C'mon, man. C'mon. Julian! 174 00:08:36,113 --> 00:08:39,116 Let's have some fun today. C'mon, buddy. 175 00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:41,118 - Put me down! - Get up here. 176 00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:42,585 Put me down! 177 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,122 Listen, buddy. I fucked up and I wanna make it up to you. 178 00:08:45,623 --> 00:08:47,625 So whatever you wanna do today , we're gonna do it. 179 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:51,146 - Anything? - Yeah, whatever you want. 180 00:08:51,181 --> 00:08:54,597 How about we get a badminton set? 181 00:08:54,632 --> 00:08:56,634 Remember how fun badminton was in prison? 182 00:08:57,134 --> 00:08:58,601 To be honest, I fucking hate bagmington. 183 00:08:58,636 --> 00:09:01,639 I played it in jail 'cause now you can't smoke in jail, 184 00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:04,642 which is fucked, and to ge t your mind off smoking, 185 00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:06,108 you basically play sports. 186 00:09:06,143 --> 00:09:09,647 Let's go to the mall and get a badminton set then, boys 187 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,649 Badminton! 188 00:09:14,885 --> 00:09:17,388 Trinity! What the hell are you doing driving this car 189 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,355 - Chill! - Did your father tell you 190 00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:22,893 you could drive? Trinity, stop the car right now! 191 00:09:22,928 --> 00:09:24,895 Trinity, I'm impounding this vehicle! 192 00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:26,362 Stop the car right now! 193 00:09:26,397 --> 00:09:29,900 - It's okay, Mr. Lahey! - Randy, d'you see that? 194 00:09:29,935 --> 00:09:31,867 Goddamn shit apple driving a shit mobile. 195 00:09:31,902 --> 00:09:34,905 What kind of a father lets his daughter do that? 196 00:09:34,940 --> 00:09:37,408 Nobody in this goddamn par k gives a fuck! 197 00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:38,874 Why the hell should I? 198 00:09:38,909 --> 00:09:41,412 D - Mr. Lahey, you know you've been doing really goo 199 00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:43,379 with the quitting - the-drinking-habit thing, 200 00:09:43,414 --> 00:09:45,916 but you been talking about i tall the time lately, 201 00:09:45,951 --> 00:09:48,419 so you know what I think? What do you think, Randy 202 00:09:48,919 --> 00:09:51,422 Well, I just never, ever wan t you to drink again, Mr. Lahey, 203 00:09:51,922 --> 00:09:53,562 so I got these really good hypnosis tapes. 204 00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:54,890 Randy, how many times 205 00:09:54,925 --> 00:09:57,393 do I have to goddamn tell yo u I'm sober? 206 00:09:57,428 --> 00:09:59,930 Who cares if I mention drinkin g once in a while, huh? 207 00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:02,933 I can't ignore an elephant in a room, now can I? 208 00:10:03,434 --> 00:10:05,436 I used to drink, Randy. Yes, I used to drink 209 00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:07,438 and I can't do anything about that. 210 00:10:07,938 --> 00:10:10,406 But I got the shit monkey off my back for good. 211 00:10:10,441 --> 00:10:13,409 Well, I thought you just might want to give them a try - 212 00:10:13,444 --> 00:10:16,447 - Do I ask you to listen to Stop Eating Cheeseburger tapes now? 213 00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:18,449 Do I? No, I don't. You know why? 214 00:10:18,949 --> 00:10:22,452 I don't fucking drink anymore, end of story. 215 00:10:22,487 --> 00:10:25,956 I'm just trying to help. Mr. Lahey. Whatever! 216 00:10:26,457 --> 00:10:27,458 Randy. 217 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,428 Listen, boy, I'm sorry I jumped on you like that. 218 00:10:32,463 --> 00:10:36,467 If it makes you feel any better, I'll, uh, I'll give them a go. 219 00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:38,969 Well, it would. Let's go. Right now. 220 00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:40,971 I'll get it cued, Mr. Lahey. 221 00:10:46,477 --> 00:10:47,978 Come on, boys. 222 00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:57,488 There's gotta be a fucking paging system 223 00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:59,490 around here somewhere. A what? 224 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:00,491 Paging system. Bingo. 225 00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:02,993 You wanna have some fun, buddy ? Check this out. 226 00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:04,460 Ah, Ricky, no, no, no, no, no. 227 00:11:04,495 --> 00:11:06,497 What are they gonna do, kick me out? 228 00:11:11,502 --> 00:11:13,754 Mr. Lahey and Randy to the Fuck Off Department 229 00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:16,006 Mr. Lahey and Randy to the Fuck Off Department 230 00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:18,509 And hurry the fuck up. Thank you. 231 00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:21,977 Boys, let's just find a badminton set - 232 00:11:22,012 --> 00:11:24,515 - Come on, Julian! - We're gonna get kicked out 233 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:25,981 Just let me do one more. 234 00:11:26,016 --> 00:11:29,520 - Alright. Come on. - Holy fuck, boys, look at that! 235 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:31,021 - What is it? - Holy fuck! 236 00:11:31,522 --> 00:11:32,988 What the fuck is it? 237 00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:35,025 That is a fully functional rocket kit. 238 00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:36,992 - No way. - That's what that is. 239 00:11:37,027 --> 00:11:39,530 I didn't know they sold these around here. 240 00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:42,533 Julian, fuck the badminton set . Let's get this baby. 241 00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:45,035 So will that go to the moo n and stuff? 242 00:11:45,536 --> 00:11:47,503 Bubs, Bubs, Bubs, it's 100 bucks, man. 243 00:11:47,538 --> 00:11:50,040 Where are we gonna get that? Ah, for fucksakes. 244 00:11:50,075 --> 00:11:51,507 Don't worry about it. 245 00:11:51,542 --> 00:11:55,045 I'll tell you, we're gonna fucking get it right now. 246 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,048 What's $99.99 plus the taxes stuff? 247 00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,550 Seventy-five? Seventy-eight? 248 00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:03,554 - No, Ricky, it's $114.98. - Just a sec. 249 00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:07,057 - What are you doing Rick? - ...14.98... 250 00:12:07,092 --> 00:12:09,327 Ricky? Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick. Rick! 251 00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,527 Look, this works every time, okay? 252 00:12:11,562 --> 00:12:15,566 You guys just meet me in the car and I'll take care of it. 253 00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,032 Get Bubbles a fucking rocket 254 00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:20,070 - He said it, Julian. - Hurry up to the car, guys. 255 00:12:27,578 --> 00:12:29,580 (muffled voices and knocking 256 00:12:31,582 --> 00:12:32,548 Julian? 257 00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:35,586 There's somebody in the trunk! 258 00:12:37,588 --> 00:12:39,555 What the fuck are you guys doing in there? 259 00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:42,092 Dude, man, cleaning your car and we kind of got locked in 260 00:12:42,593 --> 00:12:44,094 You guys locked yourself in there by accident 261 00:12:44,129 --> 00:12:45,863 when you were cleaning my car, didn't ya? 262 00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,598 - You got it. - That's not smart, boys. 263 00:12:48,098 --> 00:12:49,099 Boys, boys, boys, mall cops! Mall cops! 264 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,351 - For fucksakes, Ricky. - What do you think 265 00:12:51,386 --> 00:12:53,103 you're doing with that? D'you pay for that? 266 00:12:53,138 --> 00:12:54,570 - Yeah. - Give it to me. 267 00:12:54,605 --> 00:12:56,607 - I bought that two weeks ago. - Where's the receipt? 268 00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:58,574 Let's go. We have to have a talk. 269 00:12:58,609 --> 00:13:00,329 We'll talk in your office. That's alright. 270 00:13:00,611 --> 00:13:02,077 I don't know these two guys right here, 271 00:13:02,112 --> 00:13:04,114 but I'm sure they're pretty much responsible. 272 00:13:04,149 --> 00:13:05,581 Get those two in the back. Let's go. 273 00:13:05,616 --> 00:13:08,619 Bring them in here, let's go . Have a seat, boys. 274 00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:11,121 I wanna press charges, for the front door out there 275 00:13:11,156 --> 00:13:12,836 It's dangerous and I could've been killed - 276 00:13:13,123 --> 00:13:14,590 - You can press charges when the cops get here. 277 00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:17,092 They're on their way. We don't need to call them 278 00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:19,630 You guys are smarter tha n real cops. You're mall cops. 279 00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:21,131 Why do we need real cops? Misunderstanding. 280 00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:23,133 I went out to the car with the rocket. 281 00:13:23,634 --> 00:13:26,637 These guys were supposed to pa y for it. I gave them a cheque 282 00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:28,639 It's probably in their pockets . Just check 'em. 283 00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:30,154 - Which guys? - It's probably that guy 284 00:13:30,641 --> 00:13:32,893 with the Ronnie shirt on there. Mordecai, Horatio, 285 00:13:32,928 --> 00:13:35,145 you wanna check their pockets, see what they got? 286 00:13:37,648 --> 00:13:41,116 That's my gum, out of my car 287 00:13:41,151 --> 00:13:43,153 That's my fucking comb! What are you guys doing? 288 00:13:43,654 --> 00:13:45,134 You trying to rip me off to buy drugs? 289 00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:47,658 A There's the cheque right there . I bet they were fucking gonn 290 00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,660 cash that in for drugs too , weren't you? 291 00:13:49,695 --> 00:13:51,179 It's for the amount of the rocket. 292 00:13:51,214 --> 00:13:52,628 Yeah, with tax. Made out to the store. 293 00:13:52,663 --> 00:13:56,166 I'm not gonna lie to you here. I used to be a mall cop. 294 00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:57,935 That fake-cheque trick works every fucking time. 295 00:13:57,970 --> 00:14:00,321 Basically, you figure out how much something costs, 296 00:14:00,356 --> 00:14:02,638 just fill in one of the old man's cheques like this. 297 00:14:02,673 --> 00:14:05,676 That way if you get caught, just say your buddy was gonna pay 298 00:14:05,711 --> 00:14:07,678 Mall cops are really dumb compared to real cops. 299 00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,233 And worst-case Ontario, you get caught, 300 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:10,646 you cancel the cheque. 301 00:14:10,681 --> 00:14:12,147 You never have to pay. It's awesome. 302 00:14:12,182 --> 00:14:14,935 Alright, listen, I guess we got mixed up there. 303 00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:17,580 I'm sorry about that, boys . You're free to go. 304 00:14:17,615 --> 00:14:20,190 You know, I apologize. Well, nice to meet you. 305 00:14:20,225 --> 00:14:21,156 Alright. Take care. 306 00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:23,193 Actually, you guys are gonna stay here. 307 00:14:23,228 --> 00:14:24,660 No. Dude, man, do something. 308 00:14:24,695 --> 00:14:27,197 You shouldn't have tried to fucking rip me off. 309 00:14:27,698 --> 00:14:30,701 You guys fucked up big-time. Listen, trust me, you fucked up. 310 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,167 - Thanks, Julian. - Sit down, guys. 311 00:14:32,202 --> 00:14:34,705 Alright, I'm gonna have to get some names here. 312 00:14:36,707 --> 00:14:38,458 Uh, I'm Corey Lahey. 313 00:14:38,493 --> 00:14:40,175 Um, Trevor Lahey. 314 00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:42,713 Are those your real names, boys? 315 00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:44,715 - Yessir. - Are they really? 316 00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:48,719 No. I'm Trevor and he's Corey. We were lying. 317 00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:51,489 And deeper... 318 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:54,189 Every nerve... 319 00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:56,727 every muscle is relaxing now 320 00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:03,233 From the bottom of your feet to the top of your head. 321 00:15:05,235 --> 00:15:07,738 How do you feel, Mr. Lahey 322 00:15:09,239 --> 00:15:11,491 I feel great, Randy. 323 00:15:11,526 --> 00:15:13,709 I'm really impressed. 324 00:15:13,744 --> 00:15:15,210 The tape really does work! 325 00:15:15,245 --> 00:15:18,248 I don't feel like drinking at all! 326 00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:22,718 Randy... 327 00:15:22,753 --> 00:15:24,755 what do you say, boy, 328 00:15:25,255 --> 00:15:29,259 we go outside and make Sunnyvale a nice place to live again 329 00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:31,261 What do you think? Sounds real good. 330 00:15:31,762 --> 00:15:34,765 I'm rolling a fucking huge joint for this rocket launch 331 00:15:35,265 --> 00:15:37,733 It's gonna be awesome. I can't wait 332 00:15:37,768 --> 00:15:41,772 to fucking get that thing going. Get out of the way, idiots 333 00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:43,273 What's he smiling about? 334 00:15:43,774 --> 00:15:46,276 Rick, grab me a couple of glasses, bud? 335 00:15:46,777 --> 00:15:50,280 Bubbles, you got any glasses? Probably, Ricky, in the shed 336 00:15:50,315 --> 00:15:53,283 Get that thing all ready to go, buddy. 337 00:15:53,318 --> 00:15:54,750 Holy fuck! 338 00:15:54,785 --> 00:15:56,251 What's it say, Ricky? 339 00:15:56,286 --> 00:15:59,289 It's basically how we put it together, I guess. 340 00:15:59,790 --> 00:16:02,292 Be careful and stuff. Jesus, look at that! 341 00:16:02,327 --> 00:16:02,827 What's this? 342 00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:05,796 Holy fuck, a spacesuit. Wow. 343 00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:07,798 Ah! DE-CENT! 344 00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:12,302 No way! Fucking decnals, man ! Check those out! 345 00:16:12,337 --> 00:16:13,769 - Boys, drink. - Awesome! 346 00:16:13,804 --> 00:16:19,309 Well, let's make a toast, boys. To a good fucking time today 347 00:16:19,344 --> 00:16:21,311 This is a good time. 348 00:16:23,313 --> 00:16:25,781 I'm gonna go put my spacesuit on, boys. 349 00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:28,819 And then let's get this dirty cocksucker in the air! 350 00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:31,787 Boys? Check her out! 351 00:16:31,822 --> 00:16:33,323 Ah, man, that is fucking cool. 352 00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:35,075 Nice decnals. I know. 353 00:16:35,110 --> 00:16:36,291 Look at my spacesuit, too. 354 00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:39,830 Can I put it on the launch pad there, Commander? 355 00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:41,296 - Alright! - Bubbles, are you sure 356 00:16:41,331 --> 00:16:44,334 we gotta play Space here? This is kind of silly. 357 00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:46,854 C'mon, Ricky! Look at this ! This is awesome! 358 00:16:46,889 --> 00:16:49,339 Mission control, this is Commander Bubbles. 359 00:16:49,374 --> 00:16:51,341 I'm getting an MPS warning light 360 00:16:51,842 --> 00:16:53,322 on the link-monitor control subsystem. 361 00:16:53,343 --> 00:16:55,846 I'm requesting reallocation of main arm fire, 362 00:16:56,346 --> 00:16:58,348 through CDS at Level 6. Please advise. 363 00:16:58,383 --> 00:16:59,314 Copy that, Commander. 364 00:16:59,349 --> 00:17:02,352 Reallocating there, Commander Bubbles. 365 00:17:02,387 --> 00:17:04,820 Try some, Ricky. 366 00:17:04,855 --> 00:17:07,858 Breaker, Breaker, come in. This is Rocket Ship 27. 367 00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:11,379 R Aliens fucked over the carbunator in engine fou 368 00:17:11,414 --> 00:17:14,865 and I'm trying to refuckulate it and land on Juniper. 369 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,635 Hopefully you got some space weed. Over. 370 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:20,370 How's that, buddy? I don't fucking know. 371 00:17:20,871 --> 00:17:23,874 Ricky, that's not very good. Use space words. 372 00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:26,341 Real ones. Not talking about space weed 373 00:17:26,376 --> 00:17:29,880 These, uh, power rockets are firing all over the place. 374 00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:32,382 They got lasers, they're shooting and, uh.. 375 00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:34,850 Bubbles, I can't fucking do this. 376 00:17:34,885 --> 00:17:37,853 My brain doesn't work with space talk. 377 00:17:37,888 --> 00:17:41,391 I hate playing Space. Julian, make him do it right 378 00:17:41,426 --> 00:17:43,393 Let me do the talking, Mr. Lahey. 379 00:17:43,894 --> 00:17:44,575 Alright, Randy. 380 00:17:44,895 --> 00:17:46,361 Hey, boys. We got a complaint 381 00:17:46,396 --> 00:17:48,398 that someone's been getting high and drunk, 382 00:17:48,433 --> 00:17:50,417 playing Space in the middle of the street. 383 00:17:50,452 --> 00:17:52,402 Yeah, us. I'm fucking stoned right now 384 00:17:52,903 --> 00:17:54,369 You got a problem with that? 385 00:17:54,404 --> 00:17:56,907 Listen, we don't wanna cause any shit here, boys. 386 00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:57,908 As a matter of fact, 387 00:17:58,408 --> 00:18:00,876 I've been thinking about shi t a lot less these days. 388 00:18:00,911 --> 00:18:04,414 Seeing as how I stepped in so much over the last few years. 389 00:18:04,449 --> 00:18:06,416 I'm sick of shit, boys. Sick of shit. 390 00:18:06,451 --> 00:18:07,883 - Is that right? - Yeah. 391 00:18:07,918 --> 00:18:10,420 And I just wanna reiterate tha t I quit drinking permanently. 392 00:18:10,921 --> 00:18:13,173 It's all part of my plan to get along better 393 00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:15,317 with everyone in the park. Including you, Rick. 394 00:18:15,352 --> 00:18:17,140 Booze free for weeks, boys . It feels great. 395 00:18:17,175 --> 00:18:18,929 Ah, you quit drinking, have you, Jimmy? 396 00:18:19,429 --> 00:18:21,181 He comes down here today and, uh... 397 00:18:21,216 --> 00:18:22,898 doing the old "I'm innocent" thing, 398 00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:25,435 "I'm a changed man" kind of thing and, uh, 399 00:18:25,936 --> 00:18:27,402 he came down here for one reason 400 00:18:27,437 --> 00:18:30,440 and that was to ruin the day for the boys. 401 00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:32,459 Do you guys wanna stay and watch? 402 00:18:32,494 --> 00:18:34,444 You wanna see a rocket go, Randy? 403 00:18:34,945 --> 00:18:36,947 - Does it really launch? - Does it really launch? 404 00:18:37,447 --> 00:18:40,450 Does the Tin Man have a sheet-metal cock? 405 00:18:40,485 --> 00:18:43,453 Look at this thing! Goes up about 2,000 feet, 406 00:18:43,488 --> 00:18:45,455 nose cone blows off, chute comes out. 407 00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:46,922 It's fucking awesome! 408 00:18:46,957 --> 00:18:49,925 Remember when you helped daddy steal a car battery? 409 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,462 It's kinda like the same thing . Just put this thing on here, 410 00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,231 this one on there. 411 00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:55,931 Jeez, I'm thirsty. 412 00:18:55,966 --> 00:18:58,468 Can I have a drink of wate r from your bottle there, Jimmy? 413 00:18:58,503 --> 00:19:00,470 Leave Mr. Lahey alone, Ray . Get your own water. 414 00:19:00,505 --> 00:19:01,972 No, I want some of Jimmy's water. 415 00:19:02,472 --> 00:19:04,192 That's the kind that gets you fucking drunk, 416 00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:05,440 isn't that right, Jimmy? 417 00:19:05,475 --> 00:19:07,978 He walks around the park, he's got the bottle of water 418 00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,945 Everybody thinks it's water, but it's vodka. 419 00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:12,482 Oldest trick in the book. I think he learned that from me. 420 00:19:12,517 --> 00:19:14,985 I was doing that when I was, you know, 20, 30 years ago 421 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,451 Trying to hide it from Tammy 422 00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:20,490 t - Can you guys argue about who's drunk and who's no 423 00:19:20,525 --> 00:19:21,957 away from my daughter? Please. 424 00:19:21,992 --> 00:19:25,460 Ray. Ray, you're nothing but a drunk faking a disability, 425 00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:28,999 'cause you got nothing better to do than to bother decent people, 426 00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:32,502 'cause your own life's a big pile of burning shit 427 00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:34,523 Is that right? Randy, why not ask Jim 428 00:19:34,539 --> 00:19:36,023 where he's been the past few nights 429 00:19:36,058 --> 00:19:37,507 between 3 and 5 and 9 to 11:15 430 00:19:38,008 --> 00:19:38,974 Go ahead, ask him where he goes. 431 00:19:39,009 --> 00:19:41,011 He's playing bridge down at the hospital, Ray. 432 00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:43,013 , - Bridge, my arse. He's going to the strip club 433 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,532 getting drunk every night telling everybody 434 00:19:44,567 --> 00:19:45,981 he's off the booze. You know why, Randy? 435 00:19:46,016 --> 00:19:48,018 Jim Lahey's a fucking drunk and he always will be. 436 00:19:48,518 --> 00:19:49,985 Okay, boys, here we go. 437 00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:52,988 Blast shields down. The engine is a go! 438 00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:56,026 - Give me a drink. - Randy, let it go, Randy. 439 00:19:58,028 --> 00:20:00,030 - It's vodka - 131-proof, straight up. 440 00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:01,531 I'm fucking wasted. 441 00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:07,537 Jesus! Fuck, did you see that, Ricky? 442 00:20:07,572 --> 00:20:09,039 Julian?! Bubs, that was amazing! 443 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:13,008 My God. 444 00:20:13,043 --> 00:20:15,510 Randy, where are you going 445 00:20:15,545 --> 00:20:18,513 Downtown for a cheeseburger, Mr. Lahey. 446 00:20:18,548 --> 00:20:21,051 Congratulations Julian. You were right all the time. 447 00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:23,070 I was drunk in the mental hospital 448 00:20:23,105 --> 00:20:25,020 and I've been drunk ever since 449 00:20:25,055 --> 00:20:27,557 This can either end one of two ways, boys. 450 00:20:28,058 --> 00:20:30,560 Either you, you and you, who are all drunk, 451 00:20:30,595 --> 00:20:33,028 are going to jail, or I am going back 452 00:20:33,063 --> 00:20:36,566 to the mental hospital. P.S. I'm not going back there. 453 00:20:36,601 --> 00:20:39,034 There it is! There's the rocket! 454 00:20:39,069 --> 00:20:42,572 You just opened Pandora's shit box, Ray. 455 00:20:44,074 --> 00:20:45,825 Fuck, Lahey! Omigod! 456 00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:47,577 What are you doing?! 457 00:20:47,612 --> 00:20:49,079 Oh, fuck! 458 00:20:52,582 --> 00:20:54,083 It's crushed! 459 00:20:54,118 --> 00:20:55,585 Sonofabitch. 460 00:20:58,588 --> 00:21:01,591 Hey, Randy. Listen, I really did give up liquor. 461 00:21:02,092 --> 00:21:04,594 Honest. No, you didn't, Mr. Lahey. 462 00:21:04,629 --> 00:21:07,062 Why wouldn't you just tell me? 463 00:21:07,097 --> 00:21:09,064 Shit snares, Randy. Shit snares. 464 00:21:09,099 --> 00:21:12,602 All this time, trying to sto p the boys from breaking the law 465 00:21:12,637 --> 00:21:15,070 when I should've been encouraging it. 466 00:21:15,105 --> 00:21:17,857 The liquor makes me see it clearly, Randy. 467 00:21:17,892 --> 00:21:20,575 Julian's the leader. All he needs to do 468 00:21:20,610 --> 00:21:23,613 is be pointed in a direction , he'll go there. 469 00:21:24,114 --> 00:21:26,116 He'll go right into my shit snare, Randy. 470 00:21:26,151 --> 00:21:28,135 Listen, liquor makes me see it clear, Rand, 471 00:21:28,170 --> 00:21:30,120 and I didn't want you to blow my cover. 472 00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:32,087 I'm sorry if I let you down. 473 00:21:32,122 --> 00:21:34,124 You didn't let me down, Mr. Lahey. 474 00:21:39,129 --> 00:21:41,631 - Is this some kind of test? - No. 475 00:21:49,139 --> 00:21:52,142 I hate those guys, Mr. Lahey . Let's fucking get 'em. Here.