1
00:00:29,643 --> 00:00:32,643
Do I seem less intuitive to you?

2
00:00:32,683 --> 00:00:34,763
I just had some Botox
in my third eye.

3
00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:37,443
No.

4
00:00:37,483 --> 00:00:38,803
Looks better though, doesn't it?

5
00:00:40,763 --> 00:00:42,123
Yeah, Mum. Looks good.

6
00:00:42,163 --> 00:00:45,203
Oh, stop mooning over him, darling.

7
00:00:45,243 --> 00:00:47,643
I'm not mooning over him.
I'm mooning over Colin.

8
00:00:47,683 --> 00:00:49,843
That's who I meant!
Oh.

9
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,403
Darling,
you can't have a crippled dog.

10
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:54,883
You're gonna be a doctor.
You'll be knee-deep in cripples.

11
00:00:54,923 --> 00:00:56,843
You need a nice cavoodle
or something.

12
00:00:56,883 --> 00:00:59,963
Hypoallergenic.
I don't want a cav...

13
00:01:00,003 --> 00:01:00,043
Mum!

14
00:01:00,044 --> 00:01:01,963
Mum!

15
00:01:02,003 --> 00:01:04,203
Lee, what are you doing?

16
00:01:06,003 --> 00:01:07,683
Lee!

17
00:01:07,723 --> 00:01:09,843
Just doing my Duolingo, darling.

18
00:01:09,883 --> 00:01:12,603
Well, we can hear you.

19
00:01:12,643 --> 00:01:14,763
Is he doing Duolingo, Mum?

20
00:01:14,803 --> 00:01:16,163
(WHISPERS) I don't know.

21
00:01:16,203 --> 00:01:17,363
(PHONE CHIMES)

22
00:01:19,203 --> 00:01:20,523
Oh, he's almost here.

23
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,163
I can't do this.
I can't give him back!

24
00:01:25,203 --> 00:01:27,483
Oh, darling, it'll be OK.

25
00:01:27,523 --> 00:01:29,883
Think of the family
who thought they'd lost him forever.

26
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,563
No.
I... I don't know, why I called them.

27
00:01:32,603 --> 00:01:35,483
Just because you ran over a dog
doesn't mean he's yours.

28
00:01:35,523 --> 00:01:38,243
I didn't run him over.
It was Gordon.

29
00:01:38,283 --> 00:01:40,123
But he said you
distracted him though.

30
00:01:40,163 --> 00:01:42,243
What on earth were you doing
that was so watchable?

31
00:01:42,283 --> 00:01:43,763
Nothing.

32
00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,883
He's just... He's a shit driver.

33
00:01:45,923 --> 00:01:46,963
I have to go.

34
00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:48,723
Well, don't I get to say goodbye
to dear little Colin?

35
00:01:48,763 --> 00:01:50,563
Dear little Colin?
You've never even patted him.

36
00:01:50,603 --> 00:01:53,523
I don't pat animals, darling.
I lay hands.

37
00:01:54,923 --> 00:01:56,203
He doesn't need your horse reiki.

38
00:01:56,243 --> 00:01:58,443
Yes, he does.
Don't do this.

39
00:01:59,603 --> 00:02:00,043
I have to go.

40
00:02:00,044 --> 00:02:01,883
I have to go.

41
00:02:01,923 --> 00:02:03,083
His sacral region.

42
00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:05,883
Of course it's there.

43
00:02:05,923 --> 00:02:07,403
It's the relationship chakra.

44
00:02:07,443 --> 00:02:09,802
Yeah, Mum,
that's fuck... that's fucken enough.

45
00:02:09,843 --> 00:02:11,723
OK, wait. Wait.
I haven't grounded him yet...

46
00:02:11,763 --> 00:02:14,203
None of us are grounded, Mum.

47
00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:17,243
(THEME MUSIC)

48
00:02:36,563 --> 00:02:39,563
(KIDS GIGGLE SCREAM PLAYFULLY)

49
00:02:52,203 --> 00:02:55,643
This guy, what'd he sound like?
Was he nice, or...

50
00:02:55,683 --> 00:02:59,283
Ahh, he sounded,
I don't know, normal.

51
00:03:01,203 --> 00:03:03,763
Was he happy
to get his dog back at least?

52
00:03:03,803 --> 00:03:06,403
I don't...
I think so. I couldn't really tell.

53
00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:12,603
How's your hand?

54
00:03:12,643 --> 00:03:16,163
Oh, it's ahh, Boxer's fracture.

55
00:03:16,203 --> 00:03:18,003
Oh, fuck.

56
00:03:19,323 --> 00:03:20,403
It doesn't matter.

57
00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:21,523
It does matter.

58
00:03:24,723 --> 00:03:25,923
Look, should we call this guy?
Yeah.

59
00:03:25,963 --> 00:03:27,323
He's 20 minutes late.
Yes, OK.

60
00:03:29,563 --> 00:03:31,563
(EXHALES DEEPLY)

61
00:03:33,563 --> 00:03:34,563
Hello?

62
00:03:34,603 --> 00:03:35,883
Hi, Matt, how are you...
Where are you?

63
00:03:35,923 --> 00:03:37,003
I've been for half an hour.

64
00:03:37,043 --> 00:03:38,283
Oh, we're at the elephant.

65
00:03:38,323 --> 00:03:39,563
Yeah, I'm at the elephant.

66
00:03:39,603 --> 00:03:40,803
Oh, no...
Hi.

67
00:03:40,843 --> 00:03:41,923
Oh, I think I see...
Matt?

68
00:03:41,963 --> 00:03:43,523
He hung up. OK.
Oh.

69
00:03:43,563 --> 00:03:44,603
Cool guy.

70
00:03:46,683 --> 00:03:48,643
Here we go.
Here we go, here we go, Col.

71
00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:51,603
What the fuck happened?

72
00:03:51,643 --> 00:03:53,883
Oh, shit, did you not tell him?
No, I did...

73
00:03:53,923 --> 00:03:54,963
What happened to Bandit?

74
00:03:55,003 --> 00:03:57,483
Sorry, I told you on the phone
that he was hit by a car.

75
00:03:57,523 --> 00:03:59,243
No, you don't.
I did.

76
00:03:59,283 --> 00:04:00,043
We don't know
who was driving the car though.

77
00:04:00,044 --> 00:04:01,123
We don't know
who was driving the car though.

78
00:04:01,163 --> 00:04:03,043
You didn't tell me he was...

79
00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,323
Oh, fuck's sake!

80
00:04:04,363 --> 00:04:06,163
Hey, he's... he's OK.
Yeah.

81
00:04:06,203 --> 00:04:07,443
He's still a good dog.
He made it.

82
00:04:07,483 --> 00:04:08,523
No, it isn't, mate.

83
00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:09,883
He's got wheels
for fucken back legs.

84
00:04:09,923 --> 00:04:12,763
No, we... we know that, mate.
But he's... he's...

85
00:04:12,803 --> 00:04:14,083
Let's just calm down, alright?
Yeah.

86
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,163
Hey why don't you calm down?

87
00:04:15,203 --> 00:04:17,843
My ten-year-old boy was devastated
when his dog ran away.

88
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,883
He's been crying ever since.

89
00:04:19,923 --> 00:04:23,083
He comes home from school
with paintings of Bandit in heaven

90
00:04:23,123 --> 00:04:25,443
and Bandit in a coffin,

91
00:04:25,483 --> 00:04:26,523
and now he's having dreams that

92
00:04:26,563 --> 00:04:28,363
zombie Bandit's fucken stuck
in his closet.

93
00:04:28,403 --> 00:04:29,923
Oh, that's awful.

94
00:04:29,963 --> 00:04:31,003
Yeah, it is awful.

95
00:04:31,043 --> 00:04:32,283
And then I get your phone call
and I'm thinking,

96
00:04:32,323 --> 00:04:33,523
I'm gonna reunite him with his dog

97
00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:36,043
and now, I've gotta let him down
all over again.

98
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:37,603
Why? He's alive.

99
00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:38,643
What do you expect me to do,

100
00:04:38,683 --> 00:04:40,003
build fucken ramps
for the fucken thing?

101
00:04:40,043 --> 00:04:43,923
Are you actually saying
that you don't want your dog back?

102
00:04:43,963 --> 00:04:46,123
I never fucken wanted the dog!

103
00:04:46,163 --> 00:04:49,203
My boy wanted a dog,
but he doesn't pick its shit up

104
00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:50,243
and walk the little cunt.

105
00:04:50,283 --> 00:04:51,643
OK, are you right, mate?

106
00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:53,323
No, I'm not fucken right

107
00:04:53,363 --> 00:04:55,963
'cause I've gotta go and tell my boy
that this isn't the same fucken dog,

108
00:04:56,003 --> 00:04:57,003
'cause it's not, is it?

109
00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:58,043
'Cause this dog's fucked.

110
00:04:58,083 --> 00:05:00,042
No, you're a bit fucked,
aren't ya mate, ya fucken cretin?

111
00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:00,683
No, you're a bit fucked,
aren't ya mate, ya fucken cretin?

112
00:05:00,723 --> 00:05:02,163
Gordon, don't. Come on. Gordon.

113
00:05:02,203 --> 00:05:03,243
What are...

114
00:05:03,283 --> 00:05:05,843
What are you gonna fucken do,
Gordon?

115
00:05:05,883 --> 00:05:07,443
Do you want me to break
your other fucken hand?

116
00:05:07,483 --> 00:05:09,483
Have a fucken swing, mate.
Have a fucken swing.

117
00:05:09,523 --> 00:05:11,483
Is he being serious?
Are you, mate?

118
00:05:11,523 --> 00:05:13,803
(MIMICKING) Are you, mate?
Don't be a fucken idiot, mate...

119
00:05:13,843 --> 00:05:16,163
Come on. Well, fucken...

120
00:05:16,203 --> 00:05:17,683
Yes, I don't think you are, Gordon.

121
00:05:17,723 --> 00:05:19,483
Mate, I'll fucken
put my good hand behind my back.

122
00:05:19,523 --> 00:05:21,483
You...
OK.

123
00:05:26,963 --> 00:05:29,563
Have you ever thought
you might have a problem with rage?

124
00:05:29,603 --> 00:05:30,723
I said sorry.

125
00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:31,883
Oh, only after you realised

126
00:05:31,923 --> 00:05:33,283
he was gonna beat the shit
out of you.

127
00:05:33,323 --> 00:05:34,563
Yeah,
what sort of dickhead threatens

128
00:05:34,603 --> 00:05:35,963
a guy with one hand?

129
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,403
And why do you have one hand?

130
00:05:37,443 --> 00:05:40,243
I'm not really at my best,
currently, Ash, alright?

131
00:05:40,283 --> 00:05:41,963
Yeah, but you go from 0 to a 100...

132
00:05:42,003 --> 00:05:43,363
No, I wasn't at zero.

133
00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:47,963
I was already mid-50s.
The guy is an arsehole.

134
00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:02,923
What do we do?

135
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:03,963
What do you mean?

136
00:06:04,003 --> 00:06:07,283
Well, I can't look after him
if we're, you know, if...

137
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,203
I can't do it alone.

138
00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:10,443
Can you?
No.

139
00:06:11,683 --> 00:06:13,043
No, I can't, not by myself.

140
00:06:18,323 --> 00:06:20,683
Do you know anyone
who's looking for a dog?

141
00:06:22,443 --> 00:06:25,443
(SOFT MUSIC)

142
00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:28,003
Ooh!

143
00:06:30,043 --> 00:06:31,243
Hello, mate.

144
00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:33,723
Are your neighbours
still up for a dog?

145
00:06:33,763 --> 00:06:35,163
I don't think so, man.

146
00:06:35,203 --> 00:06:38,043
I think they went
to the rescue place down in Mascot.

147
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:39,083
Oh.

148
00:06:39,123 --> 00:06:41,603
What... what place?
We're near Mascot now.

149
00:06:41,643 --> 00:06:42,723
Couldn't tell you.

150
00:06:42,763 --> 00:06:45,963
Bretty, is it...
Is it Jenny's Animal Shelter, maybe?

151
00:06:46,003 --> 00:06:47,483
Yeah, that's the one.

152
00:06:47,523 --> 00:06:50,763
So, Meggles, she's a cool chick.

153
00:06:50,803 --> 00:06:53,083
Yeah, yep, she's great. Why?

154
00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:55,523
What's her story? Is she single?

155
00:06:55,563 --> 00:06:58,163
Fuck. She might be, yep.

156
00:06:58,203 --> 00:06:59,283
Cool.

157
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,043
You wouldn't mind
giving us her number?

158
00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:04,883
I thought Chiara warned you off,
mate.

159
00:07:04,923 --> 00:07:07,323
Chiara's married with kids.
She's kidding herself.

160
00:07:07,363 --> 00:07:08,403
Big talk, mate.

161
00:07:08,443 --> 00:07:09,443
Who's kidding herself?

162
00:07:09,483 --> 00:07:10,963
Ooh, you're fucked now.

163
00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:12,923
Um, how about
I'll text her your number?

164
00:07:12,963 --> 00:07:14,363
I think that's better.
Cool. Bye.

165
00:07:15,523 --> 00:07:16,723
Not kidding yourself, you know.

166
00:07:16,763 --> 00:07:18,123
What, are you going to call Megan?

167
00:07:19,203 --> 00:07:21,323
Are you? You're married, Chi.

168
00:07:21,363 --> 00:07:23,123
Yeah, I know that, Brett.
I know that.

169
00:07:24,283 --> 00:07:25,363
You OK?

170
00:07:26,483 --> 00:07:29,003
No, I'm not.
I really liked her the other day.

171
00:07:30,603 --> 00:07:32,003
Oh.

172
00:07:32,043 --> 00:07:35,763
Oh, I didn't know you...
you swung from vine to vine.

173
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,483
Well, before Andre,
I had a couple of...

174
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:39,243
Sips from the furry cup?

175
00:07:39,283 --> 00:07:40,443
Come on.

176
00:07:40,483 --> 00:07:43,043
Sorry, I just didn't know
you dined at the Y?

177
00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:44,243
Brett!
Sorry!

178
00:07:45,483 --> 00:07:49,003
Sorry. Alright? Go on.

179
00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:52,283
Well, you know,
Andre and I got together so young.

180
00:07:52,323 --> 00:07:55,683
Sort of just haven't opened
that door since.

181
00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:58,403
Look, Chi, if this is a big,

182
00:07:58,443 --> 00:08:00,042
you know, moment for you
then I won't call her, OK?

183
00:08:00,043 --> 00:08:04,083
You know, moment for you
then I won't call her, OK?

184
00:08:05,323 --> 00:08:07,163
Alright?

185
00:08:07,203 --> 00:08:08,363
I think she's a really cool chick,

186
00:08:08,403 --> 00:08:10,923
but it's alright.

187
00:08:10,963 --> 00:08:12,003
It's cool.

188
00:08:13,123 --> 00:08:14,203
I'm married, for fuck's sake.

189
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:17,843
OK.
(PHONE CHIMES)

190
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,203
Oh, wow, it's Megan.

191
00:08:22,243 --> 00:08:25,123
"Hey, just got your number
from Ash".

192
00:08:25,163 --> 00:08:26,203
Up for a bevy if I...

193
00:08:26,243 --> 00:08:27,643
..drop round in the next hourish?

194
00:08:34,123 --> 00:08:35,763
'Where do you stand on threesomes?

195
00:08:38,723 --> 00:08:40,003
Are you on crack?

196
00:08:40,043 --> 00:08:42,003
(SOFT MUSIC)

197
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,043
(DOGS BARKING)

198
00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,203
Are we sure this is the place?

199
00:08:54,763 --> 00:08:58,123
Yep, it's got one review
from Numbskull 823,

200
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,043
which says,
"Big boi got big balzzz."

201
00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:01,763
Sounds good.
That was three years ago.

202
00:09:01,803 --> 00:09:03,363
OK.
Yep.

203
00:09:03,403 --> 00:09:06,163
(DOG BARKS)

204
00:09:06,203 --> 00:09:08,043
That one has one eye.

205
00:09:08,083 --> 00:09:09,683
When did that happen?

206
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:12,323
Look at that fucking wolf thing.

207
00:09:12,363 --> 00:09:14,243
That's from 'Game of Thrones'.

208
00:09:14,283 --> 00:09:16,803
That's 'Jon Snow's dog.

209
00:09:16,843 --> 00:09:18,243
Oh, shit, look at that one.

210
00:09:18,283 --> 00:09:19,403
Oh, he can jump.

211
00:09:19,443 --> 00:09:20,643
He's a jumper.
OK.

212
00:09:23,803 --> 00:09:25,323
I can't look at him.
Nuh.

213
00:09:29,363 --> 00:09:31,323
Ooh, bad dog.
That's a... That's a bad dog.

214
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,483
No, he's OK. He's chained up.
He's chained up. That's alright.

215
00:09:33,523 --> 00:09:35,923
What about that one?
He's here. Oh!

216
00:09:35,963 --> 00:09:37,363
OK. Well, he can't go in here.

217
00:09:37,403 --> 00:09:38,443
Pick him up. Pick him up.

218
00:09:38,483 --> 00:09:39,963
Well, no,
he's got... he's got his wheels on.

219
00:09:40,003 --> 00:09:41,483
Yeah, well,
you have to pick him up anyway.

220
00:09:41,523 --> 00:09:43,643
Like my hand, I can't...
Just pick the dog up...

221
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:44,723
Yep, OK. Very good.
..Gordon.

222
00:09:44,763 --> 00:09:46,683
OK, here we go.
Oh, god.

223
00:09:46,723 --> 00:09:48,243
OK.
Oh, fuck, he's lunch.

224
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,083
Look at him, he's lunch.
No, we're good, we're good.

225
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,203
Go, go, go. And relax.
Just breathe.

226
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,683
Oh, my god.

227
00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:56,203
That's it. Be confident.
Be confident. We're good.

228
00:09:56,243 --> 00:09:57,523
He's really big.
No, he's good, he's good.

229
00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,003
That's the one with one eye.
We're all good.

230
00:09:59,043 --> 00:10:00,043
Just be confident.
We're the top dog.

231
00:10:00,043 --> 00:10:00,563
Just be confident.
We're the top dog.

232
00:10:00,603 --> 00:10:02,203
We're the top dogs.
I don't think we are.

233
00:10:02,243 --> 00:10:03,723
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my goodness!

234
00:10:03,763 --> 00:10:05,643
All good? All good?
No, I'm great. OK, top dog.

235
00:10:05,683 --> 00:10:06,963
You know, what?
Be confident and laugh.

236
00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:10,003
(LAUGHTER)

237
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,483
Get down!

238
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:15,363
What the bloody hell
are youse doing?

239
00:10:15,403 --> 00:10:17,283
Youse are meant
to use the back gate.

240
00:10:17,323 --> 00:10:18,403
Hey.
Oh, hi, we didn't realise.

241
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:19,443
There was one. Sorry.

242
00:10:19,483 --> 00:10:22,323
Yeah, you're right.
You droppin' off or pickin' up?

243
00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:25,403
Ahh, potentially dropping off.

244
00:10:25,443 --> 00:10:27,483
Legs buggered?
Ahh, yes.

245
00:10:28,523 --> 00:10:30,603
Does it come with the rig?

246
00:10:30,643 --> 00:10:32,403
Yes, he needs them.
The rig is... Yeah.

247
00:10:33,403 --> 00:10:35,363
Sweet.
OK.

248
00:10:35,403 --> 00:10:37,203
So, do you have... Ooh!

249
00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:39,923
Any experience
with special needs dogs?

250
00:10:39,963 --> 00:10:42,403
Dogs are dogs, love.

251
00:10:42,443 --> 00:10:45,083
$300 for drop off.
OK.

252
00:10:45,123 --> 00:10:46,843
Ahh, he might need
his urine expressed, though.

253
00:10:46,883 --> 00:10:50,123
Do you know, how to do that?
Yeah, no worries.

254
00:10:50,163 --> 00:10:51,643
But... but do you know how to do it?

255
00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:53,203
You droppin' off or not?

256
00:10:53,243 --> 00:10:56,523
Ahh, well, possibly,
but this is a high-needs dog.

257
00:10:56,563 --> 00:10:59,363
Nah, youse are high-needs people.

258
00:10:59,403 --> 00:11:00,043
Dogs are dogs. Shut up, Bobo.

259
00:11:00,044 --> 00:11:02,403
Dogs are dogs. Shut up, Bobo.

260
00:11:02,443 --> 00:11:03,923
Gordon, I really...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

261
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:04,963
I think we should go.
Yeah.

262
00:11:05,003 --> 00:11:07,243
Bugger youse then.
Fricken time wasters.

263
00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:08,923
Sorry, Jenny.
Come on, Bobby.

264
00:11:08,963 --> 00:11:10,203
Come on. Come on, inside.

265
00:11:10,243 --> 00:11:13,243
Right, here he comes.
Good boy. Come on! Inside!

266
00:11:13,283 --> 00:11:14,723
Good boy.
Come on!

267
00:11:14,763 --> 00:11:15,923
Gordon, you've backed me up
against the gate.

268
00:11:15,963 --> 00:11:17,283
Alright, can we...
I can't open the fucking gate.

269
00:11:17,323 --> 00:11:18,363
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Move forward.

270
00:11:19,923 --> 00:11:21,043
Jesus Christ.

271
00:11:21,083 --> 00:11:23,403
Yeah, I mean, so,
Jenny's definitely not vaccinated.

272
00:11:23,443 --> 00:11:24,523
Wouldn't have thought so.

273
00:11:25,843 --> 00:11:26,843
Bretty.

274
00:11:26,883 --> 00:11:29,003
Hey, mate, the neighbours
are still looking for a dog.

275
00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:30,803
Oh, really?
Oh, what?

276
00:11:30,843 --> 00:11:33,723
They said that... that rescue place
was a bit weird.

277
00:11:33,763 --> 00:11:36,283
A bit? Fucken hell.
My god.

278
00:11:36,323 --> 00:11:39,323
Anyway, Phoebe is the Mum's name.

279
00:11:39,363 --> 00:11:41,803
I'll text you all her dets
and she'll be expecting your call.

280
00:11:41,843 --> 00:11:44,243
But they're a really nice family.

281
00:11:44,283 --> 00:11:45,803
OK. Yep, sounds good man.

282
00:11:45,843 --> 00:11:48,563
Thanks, Brett.
Did... did Meggles text?

283
00:11:48,603 --> 00:11:51,243
Yeah. She... Yeah.

284
00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:53,603
Is everything OK?

285
00:11:53,643 --> 00:11:56,243
Yep. Yep. Yep.

286
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,203
It's cool. Cool, cool.

287
00:11:58,243 --> 00:11:59,683
What's that mean?

288
00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:00,043
Ahh, nah. All good.
She did, thanks.

289
00:12:00,044 --> 00:12:03,123
Ahh, nah. All good.
She did, thanks.

290
00:12:03,163 --> 00:12:05,163
Anyways, gotta crack on. OK.

291
00:12:05,203 --> 00:12:06,563
OK.
Alright.

292
00:12:06,603 --> 00:12:07,803
See ya.
Bye.

293
00:12:09,523 --> 00:12:10,603
Ooh!

294
00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:12,363
OK.

295
00:12:12,403 --> 00:12:13,883
What do you think,
should we do this?

296
00:12:13,923 --> 00:12:16,323
Yeah, I mean,
anything's better than that.

297
00:12:19,243 --> 00:12:21,163
(LAUGHTER)

298
00:12:21,203 --> 00:12:22,203
Yeah.

299
00:12:22,243 --> 00:12:25,083
Oh, and it turned out
the British guy, Nigel.

300
00:12:25,123 --> 00:12:26,123
Yeah?

301
00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:28,163
Yeah, is some drug dealer mate
of Roman's.

302
00:12:28,203 --> 00:12:29,883
What?
Sorry, what British guy?

303
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,083
The one that fell out the window.

304
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,243
Sorry, someone fell out the window?
Yeah.

305
00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:36,283
Well, did he survive?

306
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:39,203
Yeah, but now he's suing us.

307
00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:41,083
What!
Gordon told me you'd freak out.

308
00:12:41,123 --> 00:12:42,163
Freak out?
Yes!

309
00:12:42,203 --> 00:12:43,323
What was he doing up there?
I don't know!

310
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,123
Maybe I should go.
BOTH: No, no, no.

311
00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:46,163
Sorry, that's so...

312
00:12:46,203 --> 00:12:47,683
This is so boring.
Don't do that, no.

313
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:49,683
We don't want to hear
about all this work stuff.

314
00:12:49,723 --> 00:12:52,403
OK.
You didn't come here for that.

315
00:12:52,443 --> 00:12:53,883
Did you?

316
00:12:53,923 --> 00:12:55,203
No, you did not come here

317
00:12:55,243 --> 00:12:57,923
so, that you could hear about Brett
and Gordon's incompetence.

318
00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:00,043
Hey guys, is a debit card OK?

319
00:13:00,044 --> 00:13:01,283
Hey guys, is a debit card OK?

320
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,243
Oh, no, no, no, this is on us.
Yeah.

321
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,803
No, no, no, for the party.
It's $500, yeah?

322
00:13:06,843 --> 00:13:08,003
You're paying for the whole party?

323
00:13:09,603 --> 00:13:10,603
Um, yeah.

324
00:13:10,643 --> 00:13:13,003
I... I think Ash got the impression
that Gordon would pay,

325
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,163
which is... which is our bad.

326
00:13:14,203 --> 00:13:17,243
Meggles, look, Gordo can pay
for his girlfriend's party.

327
00:13:17,283 --> 00:13:18,283
Come on.

328
00:13:18,323 --> 00:13:20,763
Ahh, actually I think they broke up.

329
00:13:20,803 --> 00:13:21,843
BOTH: Oh.

330
00:13:21,883 --> 00:13:24,563
Well, whatever.
You're not paying for this.

331
00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:25,603
Is she, Chi?

332
00:13:25,643 --> 00:13:29,043
No, way. No, no, no.
This is on us.

333
00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:30,163
Yeah.
Are you serious?

334
00:13:30,203 --> 00:13:31,363
Yep. Deadly.
Yeah.

335
00:13:32,443 --> 00:13:34,843
Oh, my god, thank you guys.

336
00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:36,763
Thank you so much. You're the best.

337
00:13:36,803 --> 00:13:38,163
OK.

338
00:13:38,203 --> 00:13:39,603
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.

339
00:13:39,643 --> 00:13:41,603
Thank you really.

340
00:13:41,643 --> 00:13:42,723
Thank you, Bretty, mwah.

341
00:13:45,123 --> 00:13:46,763
You guys are fucking legends.

342
00:13:46,803 --> 00:13:49,003
Oh, you're a legend.
Oh, you are.

343
00:13:50,603 --> 00:13:51,603
And I just...

344
00:13:51,643 --> 00:13:54,003
I hope I didn't make too much
of a dick of myself at the party.

345
00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,803
No, hey, hey,
we had some really good chats.

346
00:13:56,843 --> 00:13:58,923
Yeah, so, did we.

347
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,042
It's embarrassing for me

348
00:14:00,043 --> 00:14:00,243
It's embarrassing for me

349
00:14:00,283 --> 00:14:03,923
because I actually don't remember
anything after shots.

350
00:14:03,963 --> 00:14:05,043
I was wasted.

351
00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:06,323
Yeah, me too. You think I remember?

352
00:14:06,363 --> 00:14:07,483
Oh, for sure.
I don't...

353
00:14:07,523 --> 00:14:08,643
Sorry, was I even talking to you?

354
00:14:08,683 --> 00:14:10,563
(INDISTINCT TALK)

355
00:14:12,123 --> 00:14:14,043
What'd we even... Did we talk.
Yeah. Exactly.

356
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:15,403
I don't know, did we talk?

357
00:14:15,443 --> 00:14:17,403
(LAUGHTER)
OK, OK.

358
00:14:17,443 --> 00:14:18,883
Thank you. Thanks, guys.

359
00:14:18,923 --> 00:14:20,283
Thank you for coming in.
See ya.

360
00:14:20,323 --> 00:14:21,363
Yeah!
Yep.

361
00:14:23,523 --> 00:14:26,523
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

362
00:14:51,483 --> 00:14:53,603
Can I have a...
Shut up! Shut up.

363
00:15:01,803 --> 00:15:02,883
Third time lucky.

364
00:15:04,883 --> 00:15:05,963
(BELL TOLLS)

365
00:15:08,923 --> 00:15:10,323
Hi!
Hi.

366
00:15:10,363 --> 00:15:12,603
I'm Phoebe. Hi, Gordon and Ashley.

367
00:15:12,643 --> 00:15:14,283
Hello, Phoebe, how are you?

368
00:15:14,323 --> 00:15:16,643
Oh, there you are!

369
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,203
Look at this precious little man.

370
00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:22,963
Hello! Oh, kisses!

371
00:15:23,003 --> 00:15:24,963
Oh, kisses. Thank you!

372
00:15:27,923 --> 00:15:31,003
Please, come on in.
Would you like a coffee, or a tea?

373
00:15:31,043 --> 00:15:34,243
BOTH: Oh. Um... Do you wanna...

374
00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:35,323
Oh, please you can meet Angus

375
00:15:35,363 --> 00:15:38,243
and Berlin is so excited
to meet this little guy.

376
00:15:38,283 --> 00:15:39,403
Yeah, OK.
Yes, great.

377
00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:40,643
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come in!

378
00:15:40,683 --> 00:15:43,683
(SOFT MUSIC)

379
00:15:47,963 --> 00:15:49,083
You have frizzy hair.

380
00:15:51,403 --> 00:15:52,683
What do I have?

381
00:15:52,723 --> 00:15:54,563
Frizzy hair.
Oh, do I?

382
00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:57,243
She does, yeah, yeah.
My Mum's prettier.

383
00:15:57,283 --> 00:15:58,643
Oop!
Berlin!

384
00:16:02,443 --> 00:16:05,403
Our chihuahua, Peppy, died
the year before last.

385
00:16:05,443 --> 00:16:07,323
He was 18, you know.

386
00:16:07,363 --> 00:16:10,203
So, it really took us
a long time to get over it.

387
00:16:10,243 --> 00:16:12,363
Oh, yeah, I bet.

388
00:16:12,403 --> 00:16:13,883
Good innings.
BOTH: Mm.

389
00:16:13,923 --> 00:16:15,843
And when Brett's Mum, Diana,
told us about this dog

390
00:16:15,883 --> 00:16:19,243
we just thought,
you precious little thing.

391
00:16:19,283 --> 00:16:22,283
And seeing him here, he really is.

392
00:16:22,323 --> 00:16:24,403
Yeah, he's very special.
Yeah.

393
00:16:25,603 --> 00:16:29,003
Did she mention that
he might need help doing a wee,

394
00:16:29,043 --> 00:16:30,283
going to the toilet in time?

395
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,163
Yep, already YouTubed that
and ready to go, so...

396
00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:34,483
Oh.
Oh, wow.

397
00:16:34,523 --> 00:16:35,523
That's great.

398
00:16:35,563 --> 00:16:36,603
Yeah.

399
00:16:36,643 --> 00:16:38,723
And if... if I could ask one favour?

400
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:39,763
Sure.

401
00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:42,603
If you wouldn't mind not
changing his name

402
00:16:42,643 --> 00:16:44,523
because it would be his third name

403
00:16:44,563 --> 00:16:47,203
and it just might be
a bit confusing for him.

404
00:16:47,243 --> 00:16:48,843
What was... What was his name again?

405
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:53,923
Colin.
Yeah.

406
00:16:55,043 --> 00:16:57,883
Yeah, it's a weird name for a dog.
Mm.

407
00:16:57,923 --> 00:17:00,043
Yeah, don't love it.

408
00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:03,243
Ahh, well, I mean,
something then that sounds like,

409
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,963
you know, ah, like Corin?

410
00:17:06,003 --> 00:17:07,043
Corin?

411
00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,043
Or Gollum?
Gollum.

412
00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,642
From 'Lord Of The Rings'.
Yeah, nah.

413
00:17:13,683 --> 00:17:15,203
What do you want
to call him, Berlin?

414
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,323
Peppy!

415
00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:17,723
Are you sure, sweetheart?

416
00:17:17,763 --> 00:17:19,963
Peppy was... Peppy's name.

417
00:17:20,003 --> 00:17:21,803
I want Peppy.

418
00:17:21,843 --> 00:17:25,163
Oh. She does know that...
that's not Peppy, though, so...

419
00:17:25,203 --> 00:17:26,603
Of course she does.

420
00:17:26,642 --> 00:17:28,122
But I think
if she wants to call him Peppy,

421
00:17:28,163 --> 00:17:29,203
it doesn't matter.

422
00:17:29,243 --> 00:17:32,403
Do you love Peppy, darling?
Peppy, come here. Peppy! Peppy!

423
00:17:32,443 --> 00:17:34,323
Oh, Peppy it is.

424
00:17:34,363 --> 00:17:37,963
Yay! Vroom! Vroom!
Ahh, no, don't do that.

425
00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:39,243
Can we not... Can we not do that?
Vroom! Vroom!

426
00:17:39,283 --> 00:17:42,003
Be gentle, Berlin.
Vroom! Vroom!

427
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:45,883
Stop. How do you make...

428
00:17:45,923 --> 00:17:48,683
Can you be gentle, Berlin.
She's being gentle.

429
00:17:49,763 --> 00:17:51,283
He's my dog now.

430
00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:53,523
Peppy! Come on, Peppy!

431
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,843
Thank you for not making
it a big goodbye.

432
00:18:02,883 --> 00:18:04,123
It's less traumatic for Peppy.

433
00:18:04,163 --> 00:18:05,803
Yep.
Yeah, of course. No, worries.

434
00:18:07,123 --> 00:18:08,163
Yeah.

435
00:18:08,203 --> 00:18:09,923
And just let us know
if you've got any questions,

436
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,523
any issues, anything.

437
00:18:11,563 --> 00:18:13,323
Of course.
Day or night.

438
00:18:13,363 --> 00:18:15,483
Yeah.
I'm sure we'll be fine.

439
00:18:15,523 --> 00:18:16,523
Totally.

440
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:17,563
Cool, cool.
Let's go.

441
00:18:17,603 --> 00:18:19,443
Yeah, and just send some photos
when you can.

442
00:18:19,483 --> 00:18:23,443
OK. Well, take care.
It was so lovely to meet you both.

443
00:18:23,483 --> 00:18:25,203
Bye-bye!
OK, bye.

444
00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:30,123
Was that the right thing to do?

445
00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:35,403
I think so.

446
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,523
Will he be OK?

447
00:18:44,803 --> 00:18:45,883
I mean...

448
00:18:47,763 --> 00:18:50,003
Dogs are pragmatists, you know?
I mean...

449
00:18:52,123 --> 00:18:54,923
Yeah, he's special,
but he's gonna...

450
00:18:54,963 --> 00:18:58,363
He's gonna love
whoever feeds him, won't he?

451
00:18:58,403 --> 00:19:00,042
That was always the deal
between humans and dogs.

452
00:19:00,043 --> 00:19:00,603
That was always the deal
between humans and dogs.

453
00:19:00,643 --> 00:19:01,963
It's always been the deal, you know?

454
00:19:02,003 --> 00:19:05,523
We let them sit near the campfire
and we'd feed them scraps,

455
00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:06,683
and they'd protect us

456
00:19:06,723 --> 00:19:08,763
when the lions were nearby,
you know?

457
00:19:08,803 --> 00:19:11,283
So, it's...

458
00:19:11,323 --> 00:19:13,723
it's kind of transactional.

459
00:19:13,763 --> 00:19:17,043
Doesn't make it less real,
but it's fine.

460
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:18,163
He'll be happy.

461
00:19:18,203 --> 00:19:19,963
Yeah, but we loved him.

462
00:19:20,003 --> 00:19:21,843
Yeah. Yeah.

463
00:19:21,883 --> 00:19:24,883
(PHONE RINGS)

464
00:19:26,923 --> 00:19:27,923
Hi, Mum.

465
00:19:27,963 --> 00:19:29,763
Ashley, where are you?

466
00:19:29,803 --> 00:19:31,963
I'm just with Gordon.
What's going on?

467
00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:33,963
Something's happened. I need you.

468
00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:36,403
What's happened?
Are you... Are you OK?

469
00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:39,643
No, I'm not. It's Lee.

470
00:19:39,683 --> 00:19:41,043
Please come here. I need you.

471
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:43,083
OK, OK, OK, just breathe.
Breathe, Mum.

472
00:19:43,123 --> 00:19:45,083
OK, I'll be there soon.

473
00:19:46,483 --> 00:19:48,843
What's wrong?
Oh, fuck knows.

474
00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:51,843
It's like she knew that
I was having a moment.

475
00:19:51,883 --> 00:19:54,883
(SOFT MUSIC)

476
00:20:08,323 --> 00:20:09,403
OK.

477
00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:15,603
I'd better go see
what's up with Mum.

478
00:20:15,643 --> 00:20:16,963
Yeah.

479
00:20:17,003 --> 00:20:18,283
You OK?
Yeah.

480
00:20:25,563 --> 00:20:26,843
I guess I'll see you round?

481
00:20:26,883 --> 00:20:27,963
Yeah, definitely.

482
00:20:30,883 --> 00:20:32,283
Is that it?

483
00:20:32,323 --> 00:20:33,403
What?

484
00:20:35,643 --> 00:20:36,683
OK.

485
00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:40,563
Well, I... I... I have to go.
Bye, Gordon.

486
00:20:42,803 --> 00:20:44,123
Ciao for now.

487
00:20:51,523 --> 00:20:55,763
I said, "No, Lee, it's not spam."

488
00:20:55,803 --> 00:20:57,043
It's all over Facebook.

489
00:20:57,083 --> 00:20:58,203
Everyone can see

490
00:20:58,243 --> 00:21:00,042
how many Candy Crush games
you've played.

491
00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:00,963
How many Candy Crush games
you've played.

492
00:21:01,003 --> 00:21:04,643
He's played literally hundreds
of Candy Crush games

493
00:21:04,683 --> 00:21:07,123
with this 21-year-old Korean girl,

494
00:21:07,163 --> 00:21:09,723
but he kept saying it was spam.

495
00:21:09,763 --> 00:21:12,283
Oh, you're joking, Mum.

496
00:21:12,323 --> 00:21:14,243
But then I went through his phone,

497
00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:16,203
and she's all through
his chatsnap as well.

498
00:21:16,243 --> 00:21:18,723
And he's been sending her money,
my money.

499
00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:21,203
And it's been going on for months.

500
00:21:21,243 --> 00:21:23,963
Oh, my god. Mum, I'm so sorry.

501
00:21:24,003 --> 00:21:25,363
You were right about him, Ashley.

502
00:21:28,363 --> 00:21:29,803
You were.

503
00:21:29,843 --> 00:21:34,203
Well, you know,
I'm... I'm sorry that I was right.

504
00:21:34,243 --> 00:21:36,723
No, I'm sorry
that I didn't listen to you.

505
00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,883
I'm sorry that I believed him
and not you.

506
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,523
You are my family.

507
00:21:40,563 --> 00:21:41,603
It's OK, Mum.

508
00:21:41,643 --> 00:21:44,123
No, it's not OK.
You're my only family.

509
00:21:45,803 --> 00:21:50,083
I love you so much, Ashley Maree.

510
00:21:50,123 --> 00:21:51,283
Oh, Mummy.

511
00:21:53,963 --> 00:21:55,683
(PHONE RINGS)
Oh.

512
00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,803
Oh, I've gotta take this.

513
00:21:59,843 --> 00:22:00,043
Just make yourself comfortable,
darling.

514
00:22:00,044 --> 00:22:01,283
Just make yourself comfortable,
darling.

515
00:22:01,323 --> 00:22:02,523
This could take a while.

516
00:22:04,843 --> 00:22:07,163
Well, what have you got to say
for yourself?

517
00:22:08,563 --> 00:22:10,643
Don't call me
if you're going to lie to me.

518
00:22:38,883 --> 00:22:41,883
(SOBS)

519
00:22:47,483 --> 00:22:52,363
Gordy, you left the window open.

520
00:22:52,403 --> 00:22:54,123
Ahh, fuck it.

521
00:23:12,883 --> 00:23:15,683
Are you crying about us
or are you crying about Colin?

522
00:23:16,723 --> 00:23:19,763
Ahh, oh, it's everything.

523
00:23:19,803 --> 00:23:23,763
If it were like a pie chart,

524
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:24,843
what would it look like?

525
00:23:26,083 --> 00:23:27,163
Um...

526
00:23:30,003 --> 00:23:32,203
I don't know. It's a lot.

527
00:23:33,763 --> 00:23:34,843
It's just, um...

528
00:23:37,003 --> 00:23:39,083
this is a once in a year cry,
you know.

529
00:23:40,923 --> 00:23:43,323
What's the saddest thing though?

530
00:23:43,363 --> 00:23:44,963
Does it matter?

531
00:23:45,003 --> 00:23:46,003
Well, yeah,

532
00:23:46,043 --> 00:23:48,403
'cause I was just going
to have a little cry too and...

533
00:23:48,443 --> 00:23:49,723
Were you?
Yeah.

534
00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:51,563
I mean, it wasn't going to be like

535
00:23:51,603 --> 00:23:54,483
an Irish keening
like what you're doing,

536
00:23:54,523 --> 00:23:55,963
but you know,

537
00:23:56,003 --> 00:23:59,283
'cause I just have lots of
little cries throughout the year.

538
00:23:59,323 --> 00:24:00,043
What was yours about?

539
00:24:00,043 --> 00:24:00,403
What was yours about?

540
00:24:01,843 --> 00:24:02,923
Pie chart-wise.

541
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:06,323
I asked you first.

542
00:24:08,403 --> 00:24:09,483
Um...

543
00:24:12,803 --> 00:24:14,843
I think I accidentally
opened my heart

544
00:24:14,883 --> 00:24:16,643
to a crippled dog...

545
00:24:18,483 --> 00:24:21,163
And then you slipped through
the opening at the same time.

546
00:24:26,003 --> 00:24:28,123
If this is falling in love,
I really don't like it.

547
00:24:28,163 --> 00:24:31,363
I'm not a fan
'cause it's exhausting.

548
00:24:36,603 --> 00:24:38,643
I feel a bit like I'm going insane.

549
00:24:40,003 --> 00:24:42,243
Do you?
Yeah.

550
00:24:42,283 --> 00:24:44,163
That's nice.
Is it?

551
00:24:49,003 --> 00:24:50,083
So, what do we do?

552
00:24:52,003 --> 00:24:55,003
(SOFT MUSIC)

553
00:25:04,883 --> 00:25:06,763
I think we go get our dog back.

554
00:25:06,803 --> 00:25:08,523
Oh, thank god.

555
00:25:08,563 --> 00:25:09,603
Let's do it.

556
00:25:12,523 --> 00:25:15,723
I hated that fucking family.
Oh, they were fucked.

557
00:25:17,003 --> 00:25:19,283
Who calls their kid Berlin?
Wankers.

558
00:25:22,003 --> 00:25:23,723
How are we gonna get him back?
Oh, I don't know.

559
00:25:23,763 --> 00:25:25,443
We'll... we'll figure it out
on the way.

560
00:25:27,403 --> 00:25:28,963
We are gonna make
that little girl cry though.

561
00:25:30,243 --> 00:25:34,323
Good.

562
00:25:41,203 --> 00:25:44,443
♪ I ain't got time
To roll the beast down

563
00:25:44,483 --> 00:25:47,843
♪ But if I don't then
How I'm gon' eat?

564
00:25:47,883 --> 00:25:51,203
♪ I'm doing just fine
With all of this pride

565
00:25:51,243 --> 00:25:54,603
♪ I'm lucky I got somewhere to sleep

566
00:25:54,643 --> 00:25:58,003
♪ I'm living on the word
Of other peoples' promises

567
00:25:58,043 --> 00:26:00,043
♪ That I don't think
They even gon' keep

568
00:26:00,083 --> 00:26:01,163
♪ They not gon' keep

569
00:26:01,203 --> 00:26:04,523
♪ But they said I could "move in"
And "don't worry about the rent"

570
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:07,843
♪ But they really want me out
On the streets

571
00:26:07,883 --> 00:26:09,643
♪ If they show you who they are

572
00:26:09,683 --> 00:26:11,483
♪ You better believe them now

573
00:26:11,523 --> 00:26:14,723
♪ 'Cause if you don't
You're gonna have problems

574
00:26:14,763 --> 00:26:16,443
♪ You wanna worry around

575
00:26:16,483 --> 00:26:18,243
♪ And put yourself in the ground

576
00:26:18,283 --> 00:26:20,683
♪ 'Cause that's what happens
When you allow them... ♪

577
00:26:20,723 --> 00:26:21,723
(CHORUS)

578
00:26:21,763 --> 00:26:24,083
♪ But it ain't that type of party

579
00:26:24,123 --> 00:26:25,123
♪ Oh, no

580
00:26:25,163 --> 00:26:27,123
♪ Imma' make it baby,
You're gonna see

581
00:26:27,163 --> 00:26:28,163
♪ Gonna see

582
00:26:28,203 --> 00:26:29,403
♪ 'Cause it ain't that. ♪