1 00:00:22,035 --> 00:00:25,424 - 9:25, this is the latest the staff have arrived 2 00:00:25,424 --> 00:00:26,735 in living memory. 3 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,027 - Well, Captain Peacock, last night's 4 00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:29,960 blizzard wast the worst in living memory. 5 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,886 I reckon we'll be lucky to see them at all. 6 00:00:31,886 --> 00:00:33,871 - I'm surprised you're here, Mr. Spooner. 7 00:00:33,871 --> 00:00:35,896 I would have thought you would have taken advantage 8 00:00:35,896 --> 00:00:38,240 of the inclement weather to take the day off. 9 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:39,223 - Oh not me, sir. 10 00:00:39,223 --> 00:00:41,346 I slept in the all-night cinema down the road. 11 00:00:41,346 --> 00:00:43,084 I can't afford to miss payday. 12 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,946 'Specially today when we get our rise. 13 00:00:44,946 --> 00:00:47,114 - Hm, so we've been led to believe. 14 00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:50,488 9:28, I shall have to report this to Mr. Rumbold 15 00:00:50,488 --> 00:00:52,311 and see if we can borrow some temporary staff 16 00:00:52,311 --> 00:00:53,617 from other departments. 17 00:00:53,617 --> 00:00:55,028 - Oh, they'll be here, sir. 18 00:00:55,028 --> 00:00:57,152 When they heard the weather forecast yesterday, 19 00:00:57,152 --> 00:00:58,789 I heard them making contingency plans. 20 00:00:58,789 --> 00:01:00,313 - What had they in mind? 21 00:01:00,313 --> 00:01:01,500 - Well for a start, they were all gonna stay 22 00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,581 at Mrs. Slocombe's house 'cuz she lives the nearest. 23 00:01:03,581 --> 00:01:05,164 - But she lives at the end of the cul-de-sac, 24 00:01:05,164 --> 00:01:06,553 backing onto a common. 25 00:01:06,553 --> 00:01:07,959 They'll never get across the foot path 26 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:09,003 to get to the bus stop. 27 00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:09,836 - As they're all holed up, 28 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:12,788 I reckon they'll make every effort. 29 00:01:12,788 --> 00:01:15,348 - 9:29 and 45 seconds. 30 00:01:15,348 --> 00:01:17,344 At 9:30 I shall assume they're not going to arrive 31 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,500 and act accordingly. 32 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,163 Five seconds left. 33 00:01:21,163 --> 00:01:25,915 Five, four, three, two, one, 34 00:01:25,915 --> 00:01:27,772 (elevator rings) not 35 00:01:27,772 --> 00:01:30,769 (audience laughing) 36 00:01:42,518 --> 00:01:44,230 - Oh, I'm so sorry we're late, 37 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,395 but we lost our transport. 38 00:01:47,695 --> 00:01:49,517 - What did you have, a snow plow? 39 00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:51,944 - I had six Yorkshire Terriers at the end of this 40 00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:53,533 (audience laughing) 41 00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:55,270 when we left the backyard door. 42 00:01:55,270 --> 00:01:57,811 - Arthur cleared a path with a shovel. 43 00:01:57,811 --> 00:02:01,369 - I shouted, mush, mush, and nothing happened. 44 00:02:01,369 --> 00:02:04,891 - But then they spotted my pussy and took off like madmen. 45 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,346 (audience laughing) 46 00:02:06,346 --> 00:02:08,048 - I hung on 'til the end of the house street, 47 00:02:08,048 --> 00:02:10,694 but they slipped their collars and they went off. 48 00:02:10,694 --> 00:02:13,223 - By that time we're going flat out down the hill. 49 00:02:13,223 --> 00:02:15,749 - And we went straight through a red traffic light 50 00:02:15,749 --> 00:02:17,296 at some road works. 51 00:02:17,296 --> 00:02:18,426 - That was very dangerous. 52 00:02:18,426 --> 00:02:19,428 Did anyone see you? 53 00:02:19,428 --> 00:02:21,978 - No, it was very useful for overtaking. 54 00:02:21,978 --> 00:02:25,852 They moved to one side every time I flashed. 55 00:02:25,852 --> 00:02:27,783 (audience laughs) 56 00:02:27,783 --> 00:02:29,204 One, two, three, four. 57 00:02:29,204 --> 00:02:30,248 ♫ Hi ho 58 00:02:30,248 --> 00:02:31,196 ♫ Hi ho 59 00:02:31,196 --> 00:02:34,421 ♫ It's off to work we go 60 00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,023 - And the failure of management 61 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:39,666 to meet the promised 10% pay demand is most unfortunate, 62 00:02:39,666 --> 00:02:42,927 but I understand the company's difficult position. 63 00:02:42,927 --> 00:02:45,789 I'm confident that my department will continue to put 64 00:02:45,789 --> 00:02:49,725 their shoulders to the wheel with their usual enthusiasm. 65 00:02:49,725 --> 00:02:53,760 Copies to Mr. Grace, accounts, file, et cetera. 66 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,249 - It's ever so cold in here. 67 00:02:56,249 --> 00:02:57,938 - (laughs) You should have worn a warmer dress. 68 00:02:57,938 --> 00:02:59,983 - It's all I have, sir. 69 00:02:59,983 --> 00:03:01,233 - Well, I'll put the blow heater on 70 00:03:01,233 --> 00:03:02,574 under my desk for a moment. 71 00:03:02,574 --> 00:03:03,407 (knock at door) 72 00:03:03,407 --> 00:03:04,758 Enter. 73 00:03:04,758 --> 00:03:07,031 I'll see if I can find the right button. 74 00:03:07,031 --> 00:03:08,306 (fan whirring) 75 00:03:08,306 --> 00:03:10,368 - Oh! (screams) 76 00:03:10,368 --> 00:03:12,696 - I'm sorry, wrong button. 77 00:03:12,696 --> 00:03:16,368 I couldn't see very well under the desk. 78 00:03:16,368 --> 00:03:17,879 - You oughta fan where I am. 79 00:03:17,879 --> 00:03:19,638 (audience laughs) 80 00:03:19,638 --> 00:03:22,764 You just made a happy man feel very old. 81 00:03:22,764 --> 00:03:24,543 (audience laughs) 82 00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:26,223 Oh, your morning cuppa, sir. 83 00:03:26,223 --> 00:03:27,410 Sorry about the dried milk, 84 00:03:27,410 --> 00:03:28,985 it's all part of the economy plan. 85 00:03:28,985 --> 00:03:30,742 Oh, and there's the hot water, 86 00:03:30,742 --> 00:03:32,365 - Where's the tea? 87 00:03:32,365 --> 00:03:33,720 - You have to supply your own. 88 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,996 (audience laughs) 89 00:03:34,996 --> 00:03:37,236 The governor's cutting cost to the bone. 90 00:03:37,236 --> 00:03:39,997 - We can't drink hot dried milk. 91 00:03:39,997 --> 00:03:42,417 - Well if you don't tell anyone and you want a tea bag, 92 00:03:42,417 --> 00:03:43,689 I do have a supply. 93 00:03:43,689 --> 00:03:45,623 - Ha ha, I knew I could rely on you. 94 00:03:45,623 --> 00:03:47,980 - Extra tea, five pence. 95 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:48,870 - Well worth it. 96 00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:49,738 - Thank you very much, indeed. 97 00:03:49,738 --> 00:03:50,776 One or two? 98 00:03:50,776 --> 00:03:52,368 - Oh two please, I like it strong. 99 00:03:52,368 --> 00:03:54,044 - Thank you. 100 00:03:54,044 --> 00:03:54,877 One, 101 00:03:56,239 --> 00:03:57,071 two. 102 00:03:59,433 --> 00:04:00,634 - Is that it? 103 00:04:00,634 --> 00:04:02,152 - Well you're lucky you get a first go. 104 00:04:02,152 --> 00:04:03,131 That's gonna do the lift girls 105 00:04:03,131 --> 00:04:04,561 and half the accounts department. 106 00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:05,901 (audience laughs) 107 00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:08,118 - Why only half the accounts department? 108 00:04:08,118 --> 00:04:09,178 - The other half like coffee. 109 00:04:09,178 --> 00:04:10,913 (audience laughs) 110 00:04:10,913 --> 00:04:12,245 Have a nice tea. 111 00:04:15,249 --> 00:04:16,801 - While Captain Peacock's off the floor, 112 00:04:16,801 --> 00:04:18,799 could you lend me 50 pence 'til me wages come, 113 00:04:18,799 --> 00:04:20,260 I want to send out for a coffee. 114 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,925 - Oh, I'm sorry love, but look at that. 115 00:04:23,925 --> 00:04:24,764 See? 116 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,306 Not one coin, I'm flat broke. 117 00:04:27,306 --> 00:04:30,556 I've never been flat broke in my life before. 118 00:04:30,556 --> 00:04:33,152 - Me and all, that rise is coming right at the right time. 119 00:04:33,152 --> 00:04:34,656 - You can say that again. 120 00:04:34,656 --> 00:04:38,074 You know, I always keep a couple of pound notes 121 00:04:38,074 --> 00:04:41,880 tucked away in me knickers, just for emergencies you know. 122 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:45,641 Unfortunately, last week I had an emergency. 123 00:04:45,641 --> 00:04:46,891 - Oh, what happened? 124 00:04:46,891 --> 00:04:48,126 - The elastic broke. 125 00:04:48,126 --> 00:04:49,666 (audience laughs) 126 00:04:49,666 --> 00:04:52,694 And I dropped one in the haymarket. 127 00:04:52,694 --> 00:04:54,458 And it blew off down the street. 128 00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:55,595 (audience laughs) 129 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:58,016 Two seconds later, the other one followed it. 130 00:04:58,016 --> 00:04:59,378 (audience laughs) 131 00:04:59,378 --> 00:05:01,449 Mr. Humphries, get back behind your counter. 132 00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:04,510 - Captain Peacock, I normally would obey every command 133 00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:06,269 you give me, but let's face it, 134 00:05:06,269 --> 00:05:07,942 as far as customers are concerned, 135 00:05:07,942 --> 00:05:09,451 they could be in the North Pole. 136 00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:10,689 I'm just waiting for my wages 137 00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,813 so I can send for a coffee to thaw me out. 138 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,076 Just feel that. 139 00:05:14,076 --> 00:05:15,975 - Oh, your tiny hand is frozen. 140 00:05:15,975 --> 00:05:17,021 (audience laughs) 141 00:05:17,021 --> 00:05:18,851 - I said, get back. 142 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:20,507 - Now if you'd spoken like that before-- 143 00:05:20,507 --> 00:05:21,339 - Yes? 144 00:05:21,339 --> 00:05:22,475 - I'd have gone straight away. 145 00:05:22,475 --> 00:05:25,595 (audience laughs) 146 00:05:25,595 --> 00:05:27,613 - Do you want the good news or the bad news first? 147 00:05:27,613 --> 00:05:28,618 - What do you mean? 148 00:05:28,618 --> 00:05:30,791 - Well the good news is, here's your pay packets. 149 00:05:30,791 --> 00:05:32,767 The bad news is, we ain't go no rise. 150 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:33,678 - What was that? 151 00:05:33,678 --> 00:05:35,012 - No rise. And I can tell you now 152 00:05:35,012 --> 00:05:36,953 it's causing a right old stand in packing. 153 00:05:36,953 --> 00:05:39,481 Toiletries are having a sit-in. 154 00:05:39,481 --> 00:05:41,746 - I've been held down for over a year. 155 00:05:41,746 --> 00:05:42,841 - I think we should go and complain 156 00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:44,104 to Mr. Grace, personally. 157 00:05:44,104 --> 00:05:45,968 - Let me tell you, that man is approachable, 158 00:05:45,968 --> 00:05:47,747 'cuz I've just approached him in his office. 159 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,441 Look at my attire, I said. 160 00:05:49,441 --> 00:05:51,630 Look at the frayed cuffs on the end of my shirt. 161 00:05:51,630 --> 00:05:52,462 - And did he look? 162 00:05:52,462 --> 00:05:54,370 - Yeah, I shoved it right under his nose, like that. 163 00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:56,543 And I said, look, the left sole of my shoe 164 00:05:56,543 --> 00:05:58,351 is parting company with the other. 165 00:05:58,351 --> 00:05:59,907 And bang, I shoved it right on his desk. 166 00:05:59,907 --> 00:06:00,995 - Did he look? 167 00:06:00,995 --> 00:06:02,594 - Long and hard. 168 00:06:02,594 --> 00:06:04,047 And then he took out of his pocket a great, 169 00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:07,118 thick wide of fivers done up with an elastic band. 170 00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:08,565 Removing the elastic band, 171 00:06:08,565 --> 00:06:10,908 he put the situation to right there and then. 172 00:06:10,908 --> 00:06:11,755 - What did you get? 173 00:06:11,755 --> 00:06:13,146 - The elastic band to keep me sole on. 174 00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:14,205 (audience laughs) 175 00:06:14,205 --> 00:06:16,068 - After that, what chance have we got? 176 00:06:16,068 --> 00:06:17,106 - After that, nothing. 177 00:06:17,106 --> 00:06:18,667 I can't give me mother any less. 178 00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:20,311 She's taking in washing as it is. 179 00:06:20,311 --> 00:06:22,069 - I didn't know that. 180 00:06:22,069 --> 00:06:24,074 - Neither did I, 'til I caught her down by the canal 181 00:06:24,074 --> 00:06:26,144 with a big boulder and a packet of bold. 182 00:06:26,144 --> 00:06:28,628 (audience laughs) 183 00:06:28,628 --> 00:06:29,806 - Oh, well that settles it. 184 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:33,441 I'm not standing for this and I am unanimous in that. 185 00:06:33,441 --> 00:06:35,128 (audience laughs) 186 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:39,019 I say that we go to Mr. Rumbold and demand our rise. 187 00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:40,670 Mr. Grace must be off his rocker 188 00:06:40,670 --> 00:06:42,960 if he thinks he's going to get away with this. 189 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,399 - Well for once, I'm on your side. 190 00:06:44,399 --> 00:06:47,998 - Do you know, I'd get more if I was an old aged pensioner. 191 00:06:47,998 --> 00:06:49,381 - Well you haven't got long to wait. 192 00:06:49,381 --> 00:06:51,577 (audience laughs) 193 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,734 - Now I've got my dander up, so just watch it. 194 00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:57,938 - No, no, no, I suggest that you hang on, 195 00:06:57,938 --> 00:07:00,254 grit your teeth and tighten your belts. 196 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,725 Just rushing in and demanding your rise 197 00:07:02,725 --> 00:07:04,151 will achieve nothing. 198 00:07:04,151 --> 00:07:06,721 - I'm glad to hear you say that, Captain Peacock. 199 00:07:06,721 --> 00:07:08,471 'Cuz you ain't got one either. 200 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:09,325 - What? 201 00:07:09,325 --> 00:07:11,463 No, no, no, no, I'm middle management. 202 00:07:11,463 --> 00:07:14,640 My rise has been agreed at the table in the board room. 203 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,033 - Well according to Mr. Patel of accounts, 204 00:07:17,033 --> 00:07:20,075 middle management are gonna be asked to take a cut. 205 00:07:20,075 --> 00:07:21,030 - What? 206 00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:22,279 This is monstrous. 207 00:07:22,279 --> 00:07:23,112 You're sure? 208 00:07:23,112 --> 00:07:25,442 - Mr. Patel was middle management 'til he heard the news. 209 00:07:25,442 --> 00:07:27,213 The last time I saw him, he was going upstairs 210 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:29,990 to hand in his notice and cash in his curry vouchers. 211 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:30,988 - Thank you. 212 00:07:32,396 --> 00:07:33,847 Well that settles it. 213 00:07:33,847 --> 00:07:35,209 We must be united in this. 214 00:07:35,209 --> 00:07:37,580 - All for one and one for all. 215 00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:39,438 - Right, so who's going in first? 216 00:07:39,438 --> 00:07:41,484 - Well, I suggest we all go in together. 217 00:07:41,484 --> 00:07:43,067 - The doorway isn't big enough. 218 00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:45,402 - We could all bunch up tightly behind Captain Peacock. 219 00:07:45,402 --> 00:07:46,920 (audience laughs) 220 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,116 - No, we could go in side by side. 221 00:07:49,116 --> 00:07:50,873 - Except Mrs. Slocombe. 222 00:07:50,873 --> 00:07:53,415 - I should be pleased to lead the way. 223 00:07:53,415 --> 00:07:56,126 And that daft boy can bring up the rear. 224 00:07:56,126 --> 00:07:57,566 Mr. Grace is off his rocker 225 00:07:57,566 --> 00:07:59,374 if he thinks he's going to diddle us. 226 00:07:59,374 --> 00:08:00,935 - Yeah, but what are you going to say? 227 00:08:00,935 --> 00:08:03,580 - I shall be succinct and to the point. 228 00:08:03,580 --> 00:08:05,925 - That's all very well, but what are you going to say? 229 00:08:05,925 --> 00:08:07,958 - Give us the money, jug-ears, or else. 230 00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:10,788 (audience laughs) 231 00:08:11,648 --> 00:08:12,970 - Yes sir, I'll tell him. 232 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:16,799 It's Mr. Wooten in the pet department. 233 00:08:16,799 --> 00:08:18,352 - Yes, Mr. Wooten? 234 00:08:18,352 --> 00:08:19,580 What? 235 00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:21,330 You've lost a monkey? 236 00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:23,033 (audience laughs) 237 00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:24,286 Good lord. 238 00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:25,535 Bit you, where? 239 00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:28,685 That must have been painful. 240 00:08:28,685 --> 00:08:30,004 (audience laughs) 241 00:08:30,004 --> 00:08:31,622 Make a note of this. 242 00:08:31,622 --> 00:08:33,543 What sort of monkey? 243 00:08:33,543 --> 00:08:36,027 Paraguayan, what do they look like? 244 00:08:36,027 --> 00:08:39,774 Long arms, bald head, and big ears. 245 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,355 That sounds hideous. 246 00:08:47,482 --> 00:08:48,741 Have you got all that down. 247 00:08:48,741 --> 00:08:51,608 - I think I can remember it. 248 00:08:51,608 --> 00:08:54,249 - Right, I'll alert the department. 249 00:08:54,249 --> 00:08:55,582 That was very careless of them. 250 00:08:55,582 --> 00:08:57,137 (phone rings) 251 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,429 - Mr. Rumbold. 252 00:08:58,429 --> 00:09:00,588 - Shoosh, shoosh, I'm on to Mr. Grace's office. 253 00:09:00,588 --> 00:09:01,420 Yes, sir. 254 00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:04,506 I heard the bad news about a moment ago. 255 00:09:04,506 --> 00:09:06,144 - Don't say something's happened to Mr. Grace. 256 00:09:06,144 --> 00:09:07,154 - Sh, sh, sh. 257 00:09:07,154 --> 00:09:09,653 - It seems that when they tried to restrain him, 258 00:09:09,653 --> 00:09:12,971 he bit Mr. Wooten on the nose. 259 00:09:12,971 --> 00:09:14,466 - You said he'd gone off his rocker. 260 00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,346 (audience laughs) 261 00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:18,978 - He's probably hiding in the lift shaft. 262 00:09:18,978 --> 00:09:20,503 (audience laughs) 263 00:09:20,503 --> 00:09:24,167 Have you tried dangling a banana down there? 264 00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,429 See if that would tempt him. 265 00:09:27,429 --> 00:09:28,939 - This does not seem to be an opportune moment 266 00:09:28,939 --> 00:09:31,120 to talk about our rise. 267 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,722 - Right, I'll tell the rest of the staff. 268 00:09:32,722 --> 00:09:34,580 Yes, yes Mr. Grace. 269 00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:36,782 - Oh, was that Mr. Grace on the phone? 270 00:09:36,782 --> 00:09:39,409 - Well I'd hardly be calling anybody else Mr. Grace. 271 00:09:39,409 --> 00:09:41,511 - You said he was hiding down the lift shaft. 272 00:09:41,511 --> 00:09:45,176 - No, no, no, that was a bald-headed Paraguayan monkey 273 00:09:45,176 --> 00:09:46,814 that's just escaped from the pet department. 274 00:09:46,814 --> 00:09:48,111 I presume you came in to tell me 275 00:09:48,111 --> 00:09:49,198 you've just heard the same news, 276 00:09:49,198 --> 00:09:50,991 but there's no need to panic. 277 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,386 Just get back to your counters and keep your eyes open. 278 00:09:53,386 --> 00:09:56,427 - We didn't come in here to discuss a monkey. 279 00:09:56,427 --> 00:09:58,391 We've come about our pay rise. 280 00:09:58,391 --> 00:09:59,965 - What we ain't got. 281 00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:00,826 - And what we ain't happy about. 282 00:10:00,826 --> 00:10:02,639 (audience laughs) 283 00:10:02,639 --> 00:10:05,175 - Well we're living in very difficult times. 284 00:10:05,175 --> 00:10:07,201 - Mine was agreed and ratified. 285 00:10:07,201 --> 00:10:09,862 And we, and I speak for everyone here, 286 00:10:09,862 --> 00:10:12,255 are not leaving this office until we get your assurance 287 00:10:12,255 --> 00:10:15,715 that during this day, that rise will be forthcoming. 288 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,712 - (laughs) I was expecting the increase too, 289 00:10:17,712 --> 00:10:19,443 I'm just as disappointed as you are, 290 00:10:19,443 --> 00:10:20,678 but what can I do? 291 00:10:20,678 --> 00:10:22,936 - Nothing, because you haven't got the guts. 292 00:10:22,936 --> 00:10:25,442 - Look, the general economy is on the up. 293 00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:28,465 I feel sure that in the course of time, 294 00:10:28,465 --> 00:10:30,646 the pay rise will be forthcoming. 295 00:10:30,646 --> 00:10:33,315 - The course of time has run out as far as I'm concerned. 296 00:10:33,315 --> 00:10:34,146 - Me too. 297 00:10:34,146 --> 00:10:35,926 I'd be better off if I was fired. 298 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:38,066 At least I'd get severance pay 299 00:10:38,066 --> 00:10:40,302 and then I could go straight away on the dole, 300 00:10:40,302 --> 00:10:42,062 and be out looking for another job. 301 00:10:42,062 --> 00:10:42,893 (audience laughs) 302 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,744 - There's no reason to fire anyone. 303 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:47,235 - Yeah, you wouldn't get anyone to work here for our wages. 304 00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:48,887 That's why he can't fire us. 305 00:10:48,887 --> 00:10:50,921 - So, all you need is a reason? 306 00:10:50,921 --> 00:10:53,596 - Naturally, I can't just say to Mr. Grace 307 00:10:53,596 --> 00:10:55,820 that I've fired all my staff. 308 00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:57,937 That would have put my credibility at risk, 309 00:10:57,937 --> 00:10:59,655 not to mention my job in jeopardy. 310 00:10:59,655 --> 00:11:01,389 I must have a reason. 311 00:11:01,389 --> 00:11:04,055 - Well, we'll give you a reason. 312 00:11:05,619 --> 00:11:09,292 I take it this is on behalf of all of us? 313 00:11:09,292 --> 00:11:10,123 - Agreed. 314 00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:13,873 (audience laughs) 315 00:11:14,768 --> 00:11:17,766 (audience applause) 316 00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:27,073 - That was very naughty, Mrs. Slocombe. 317 00:11:27,073 --> 00:11:29,911 But let it not be said that I haven't got a sense of humor. 318 00:11:29,911 --> 00:11:31,282 (laughing) 319 00:11:31,282 --> 00:11:32,410 Now, get back to your counters. 320 00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:33,646 I've got work to do. 321 00:11:33,646 --> 00:11:34,903 - Well you're the only one. 322 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:35,735 Come on. 323 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,807 Well open the door, you daft boy. 324 00:11:38,807 --> 00:11:41,284 (audience laughs) 325 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,328 - Do you think they mean it? 326 00:11:42,328 --> 00:11:43,885 - I'm afraid so. 327 00:11:43,885 --> 00:11:45,456 Due to our cashflow problem, 328 00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:47,512 we can't even afford their severance pay. 329 00:11:47,512 --> 00:11:49,558 Mr. Grace, Rumbold here. 330 00:11:49,558 --> 00:11:50,921 Bad news I'm afraid, sir. 331 00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:53,189 Yes, the staff are trying to get themselves fired. 332 00:11:53,189 --> 00:11:56,173 What's that, you've got even worse news? 333 00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:57,020 (gasps) 334 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,060 It's a Japanese takeover bid. 335 00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:00,648 What would that mean, sir? 336 00:12:00,648 --> 00:12:01,721 I see. 337 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,027 We'd all get fired. 338 00:12:03,027 --> 00:12:05,458 - That's it then, we do no more work 339 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,608 and then they'll get the message 340 00:12:06,608 --> 00:12:08,160 and they'll have to fire us. 341 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,434 - And we can nip out quick and get on the dole immediately. 342 00:12:10,434 --> 00:12:11,987 - I must say withdrawal of labor 343 00:12:11,987 --> 00:12:13,599 would bring the point home to them. 344 00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:15,243 - You mean like a sit down strike? 345 00:12:15,243 --> 00:12:17,031 - They don't fire people for striking. 346 00:12:17,031 --> 00:12:18,356 They just don't pay them. 347 00:12:18,356 --> 00:12:19,332 - But we'd be no better off then, 348 00:12:19,332 --> 00:12:20,679 then what we are now. 349 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:22,008 - She's right. 350 00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:25,722 No, we must do something that they can't forgive us for. 351 00:12:25,722 --> 00:12:28,178 - I've often done that, but I've always been forgiven. 352 00:12:28,178 --> 00:12:29,750 (audience laughs) 353 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,510 Mind you, it was always by the same vicar. 354 00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:33,358 (audience laughs) 355 00:12:33,358 --> 00:12:34,581 - Yeah, but that Mrs. Comlose, 356 00:12:34,581 --> 00:12:37,482 she got fired from cosmetics for being rude to a customer. 357 00:12:37,482 --> 00:12:38,344 (elevator dings) 358 00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:39,704 - Well now's your chance. 359 00:12:39,704 --> 00:12:42,868 - Yes, now then, you go on and be first to get fired. 360 00:12:42,868 --> 00:12:44,781 - No, you're senior. 361 00:12:44,781 --> 00:12:47,802 - We're going to start at the bottom and work our way up. 362 00:12:47,802 --> 00:12:48,883 Now, get over there. 363 00:12:48,883 --> 00:12:49,965 - Oh alright. 364 00:12:52,850 --> 00:12:54,989 I've just come over to tell you, I ain't serving ya. 365 00:12:54,989 --> 00:12:56,444 - Oh, I don't expect you to. 366 00:12:56,444 --> 00:12:57,699 You're obviously a junior. 367 00:12:57,699 --> 00:13:01,073 I need a senior salesperson, as I wish to purchase 368 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,927 a fur coat for my sec- second cousin. 369 00:13:03,927 --> 00:13:04,760 (audience laughs) 370 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,675 something in the region of 5,000 pounds or more. 371 00:13:07,675 --> 00:13:09,799 - Yeah, just hang on a minute, will ya. 372 00:13:09,799 --> 00:13:10,994 (audience laughs) 373 00:13:10,994 --> 00:13:13,185 Did you hear that, they want to spend over five grand, 374 00:13:13,185 --> 00:13:14,509 what are we gonna do? 375 00:13:14,509 --> 00:13:15,525 - Stand firm. 376 00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:16,775 - You're not on commission. 377 00:13:16,775 --> 00:13:18,284 - Oh, what a dilemma. 378 00:13:18,284 --> 00:13:20,234 - What happened to all for one and one for all? 379 00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,419 - But we could share it. 380 00:13:21,419 --> 00:13:24,067 - No, no, we've agreed and we'll stick to it. 381 00:13:24,067 --> 00:13:27,955 I will go over there and be the first to sacrifice myself. 382 00:13:27,955 --> 00:13:30,433 As an example to the rest of you. 383 00:13:30,433 --> 00:13:32,107 (audience laughs) 384 00:13:32,107 --> 00:13:33,817 - Joan of Arc all over again. 385 00:13:33,817 --> 00:13:35,376 (audience laughs) 386 00:13:35,376 --> 00:13:36,632 - With one slight difference, 387 00:13:36,632 --> 00:13:39,329 Joan of Arc had Kali printed across her heart. 388 00:13:39,329 --> 00:13:41,531 - And what do you think Mrs. Slocombe will go with? 389 00:13:41,531 --> 00:13:43,281 - Kami written across her knickers. 390 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:44,786 (audience laughs) 391 00:13:44,786 --> 00:13:47,665 - I'm Mrs. Slocombe, senior salesperson 392 00:13:47,665 --> 00:13:48,937 on the ladies counter. 393 00:13:48,937 --> 00:13:49,799 - Ah, good. 394 00:13:49,799 --> 00:13:51,224 I'd like a fur coat, 395 00:13:51,224 --> 00:13:54,325 something in the region of 5,000 pounds or more. 396 00:13:54,325 --> 00:13:55,392 What do you suggest? 397 00:13:55,392 --> 00:13:58,044 - I suggest that you buy a gun, 398 00:13:58,044 --> 00:14:01,849 fly a plane to Canada, climb up a tree, 399 00:14:01,849 --> 00:14:02,826 and wait. 400 00:14:02,826 --> 00:14:05,989 (audience laughs) 401 00:14:05,989 --> 00:14:07,612 - I don't quite understand you. 402 00:14:07,612 --> 00:14:10,964 - Well to put it another way, get stuffed. 403 00:14:10,964 --> 00:14:11,797 - Really! 404 00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:14,563 - Now I expect you'll want to get me fired. 405 00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,324 The manager's office is over there. 406 00:14:16,324 --> 00:14:18,419 Kick up as much stink as you like. 407 00:14:18,419 --> 00:14:21,450 Oh, yes, yes, you might like to ring the papers. 408 00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:22,289 - The papers? 409 00:14:22,289 --> 00:14:24,076 I can't be in the papers with uh- 410 00:14:24,076 --> 00:14:25,443 - Percival, Miss Percival. 411 00:14:25,443 --> 00:14:26,652 - I know your name, you idiot. 412 00:14:26,652 --> 00:14:28,424 So does my wife, come on. 413 00:14:28,424 --> 00:14:29,384 Let's get out of here. 414 00:14:29,384 --> 00:14:30,591 - Oh, stinks. 415 00:14:30,591 --> 00:14:32,009 (audience laughs) 416 00:14:32,009 --> 00:14:33,315 - It's not gonna be easy. 417 00:14:33,315 --> 00:14:34,911 - We'll burn the place down, that'll do it. 418 00:14:34,911 --> 00:14:35,864 (audience laughs) 419 00:14:35,864 --> 00:14:37,961 - We want to get fired, not jailed. 420 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,521 - Well, I did my best. 421 00:14:39,521 --> 00:14:42,514 - I can't bare the thought of us all going one by one. 422 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:44,451 Tell you what, why don't we go up to the lift, 423 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,701 wait 'til the doors open and all be rude together. 424 00:14:46,701 --> 00:14:47,943 That should do it. 425 00:14:47,943 --> 00:14:49,498 - Hands up, those in favor. 426 00:14:49,498 --> 00:14:50,723 - What we gonna say? 427 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,291 - Buzz off you ugly git. 428 00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:53,772 (audience laughs) 429 00:14:53,772 --> 00:14:55,655 - Yeah, but supposing they're foreign. 430 00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:57,247 They might not understand. 431 00:14:57,247 --> 00:14:59,809 - We need an international gesture. 432 00:14:59,809 --> 00:15:02,200 - What about a loud raspberry? 433 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,117 - No, no, no, something more telling. 434 00:15:05,117 --> 00:15:06,959 - What about the old two finger salute? 435 00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:08,237 - Exactly. 436 00:15:08,237 --> 00:15:10,383 Universal and unmistakably an insult. 437 00:15:10,383 --> 00:15:12,324 - Right, come on, let's get to it. 438 00:15:12,324 --> 00:15:15,155 (audience laughs) 439 00:15:17,486 --> 00:15:18,410 - I can hear 'em coming. 440 00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:19,243 - Are we ready? 441 00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:21,884 - We'll throw in a raspberry, just for good measure. 442 00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:22,717 (audience laughs) 443 00:15:22,717 --> 00:15:23,918 - I agree. 444 00:15:23,918 --> 00:15:26,486 - Now, raspberries and fingers ready. 445 00:15:26,486 --> 00:15:28,259 (elevator dings) 446 00:15:28,259 --> 00:15:29,840 (raspberry sounds) 447 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,670 (audience laughs) 448 00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,526 (raspberry sound) 449 00:15:34,526 --> 00:15:38,606 (audience laughter and applause) 450 00:15:45,823 --> 00:15:48,144 - Well, in the absence of anyone to be rude to, 451 00:15:48,144 --> 00:15:49,125 I'm going over to the pub 452 00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:51,490 for an unspecified number of gin and tonics. 453 00:15:51,490 --> 00:15:52,712 - I think I'll join you. 454 00:15:52,712 --> 00:15:53,617 - Me too. 455 00:15:53,617 --> 00:15:55,846 I'm always more outspoken after two or three 456 00:15:55,846 --> 00:15:57,166 pints of Guinness. 457 00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:58,318 (audience laughs) 458 00:15:58,318 --> 00:15:59,617 - I'd have thought you'd have been more everything. 459 00:15:59,617 --> 00:16:01,656 (elevator dings) 460 00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:03,357 - I've got bad news for all of us. 461 00:16:03,357 --> 00:16:05,335 The Japs have invaded. 462 00:16:05,335 --> 00:16:06,895 - What are you talking about? 463 00:16:06,895 --> 00:16:09,075 - I was earwigging a shareholders meeting 464 00:16:09,075 --> 00:16:10,967 and they voted to sell us to the Japs. 465 00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:12,705 We're all gonna get booted out. 466 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,066 - They can't do that to us, we're British workers. 467 00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:16,695 - It's a fait accomplish. 468 00:16:16,695 --> 00:16:18,071 - We haven't even been consulted. 469 00:16:18,071 --> 00:16:19,823 - Yeah, we have our rights. 470 00:16:19,823 --> 00:16:21,814 - I've got bad news, I'm afraid. 471 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,676 - We've just heard. 472 00:16:22,676 --> 00:16:24,545 - Ah, well I'm not taking this lying down. 473 00:16:24,545 --> 00:16:26,205 I think we should fight this takeover. 474 00:16:26,205 --> 00:16:27,453 - For once I'm in agreement. 475 00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,268 - Ten minutes ago, we were all trying to get fired. 476 00:16:29,268 --> 00:16:31,654 - Yes, but not by the Japanese. 477 00:16:31,654 --> 00:16:33,209 - Oh, it ain't definitely definite. 478 00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:35,080 They're sending their head man, Mr. Yomoto, 479 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,696 to have a quick go over the building 480 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:37,741 and make sure they can modernize it 481 00:16:37,741 --> 00:16:39,274 and make it pay. 482 00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:42,182 I expect your job'll be taken over by a robot. 483 00:16:42,182 --> 00:16:43,093 Breaking off once a week 484 00:16:43,093 --> 00:16:46,029 to have a quick plate of microchips in the canteen. 485 00:16:46,029 --> 00:16:46,861 (audience laughs) 486 00:16:46,861 --> 00:16:48,463 - Where is this Mr. Yomoto? 487 00:16:48,463 --> 00:16:50,262 Runway 4, Heathrow. 488 00:16:50,262 --> 00:16:52,830 The doors of his executive jet is all frozen up. 489 00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:54,808 Once they get a blow lamp, he'll be here. 490 00:16:54,808 --> 00:16:56,502 - Do you think he'll keep any of us on? 491 00:16:56,502 --> 00:16:57,970 - Oh, I don't think I could live off 492 00:16:57,970 --> 00:16:59,255 of a bowl of rice a day. 493 00:16:59,255 --> 00:17:00,681 (audience laughs) 494 00:17:00,681 --> 00:17:02,418 My eyes are small enough as it is. 495 00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:04,084 (audience laughs) 496 00:17:04,084 --> 00:17:05,941 - One feels so helpless. 497 00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:09,180 I fear we at Grace Brothers are about to become a statistic. 498 00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:11,172 - Well, the Prime Minister said the medicine would be bitter 499 00:17:11,172 --> 00:17:12,596 and she was right. 500 00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:13,429 - That's it! 501 00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:14,261 That is it. 502 00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:15,108 You've got it. 503 00:17:15,108 --> 00:17:17,074 Other people have done it, why can't we. 504 00:17:17,074 --> 00:17:19,375 I bet they even do it in Japan. 505 00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:21,754 - What, commit hara-kiri? 506 00:17:21,754 --> 00:17:23,116 - Buffoon. 507 00:17:23,116 --> 00:17:26,965 No, we'll go to Number 10 and put our case on the table. 508 00:17:26,965 --> 00:17:29,712 She's a woman, she'll understand. 509 00:17:29,712 --> 00:17:31,217 - Yeah, that's a good idea. 510 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,611 - Mind you, what we need is a spokesman. 511 00:17:33,611 --> 00:17:35,938 Or spokeswoman. 512 00:17:35,938 --> 00:17:37,923 The question is, who? 513 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:40,252 - (Clears throat) My workers are solidly behind me 514 00:17:40,252 --> 00:17:41,578 and I'd be happy to go to Number 10 515 00:17:41,578 --> 00:17:44,318 and put our motion on the table. 516 00:17:44,318 --> 00:17:46,274 What we need is shorter working hours, 517 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:48,352 a guaranteed in ink pay raise, 518 00:17:48,352 --> 00:17:50,522 early retirement and better canteen dinners. 519 00:17:50,522 --> 00:17:52,922 Now, in exchange for our demands being met in total, 520 00:17:52,922 --> 00:17:55,520 I am prepared to form a workers cooperative 521 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,863 elected by a semi-secret ballot. 522 00:17:57,863 --> 00:17:59,776 And I ask you brothers and sisters 523 00:17:59,776 --> 00:18:02,883 to vote for me and I will be on the bacon. 524 00:18:02,883 --> 00:18:04,698 Give me the tolls, I'll do the job. 525 00:18:04,698 --> 00:18:06,780 (audience laughs) 526 00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:10,663 - (clears throat) Yes, 527 00:18:10,663 --> 00:18:13,993 hands up, those who vote for Mr. Harman. 528 00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:17,387 - Have you anymore to say? 529 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,961 - Yes, I have. 530 00:18:18,961 --> 00:18:19,825 Anybody got an elastic band? 531 00:18:19,825 --> 00:18:20,658 This one's broke. 532 00:18:20,658 --> 00:18:22,389 (audience laughs) 533 00:18:22,389 --> 00:18:26,490 - No, what we need is someone with charm and charisma, 534 00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:29,759 someone who's not too far one way or the other. 535 00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:30,974 (audience laughs) 536 00:18:30,974 --> 00:18:32,101 - That's very kind of you. 537 00:18:32,101 --> 00:18:33,705 (audience laughs) 538 00:18:33,705 --> 00:18:36,062 I don't think I'm forceful enough. 539 00:18:36,062 --> 00:18:38,358 - Oh dear, I didn't actually mean you. 540 00:18:38,358 --> 00:18:41,994 - Well who else isn't too far one way or the other? 541 00:18:41,994 --> 00:18:44,217 - I mean in his views. 542 00:18:44,217 --> 00:18:47,288 I had in mind Captain Peacock. 543 00:18:47,288 --> 00:18:48,854 - Captain Peacock? 544 00:18:48,854 --> 00:18:52,343 - Well, I'm thinking about the firm, you see. 545 00:18:52,343 --> 00:18:55,460 And in that Anthony Eden hat, he does look the part. 546 00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:58,414 And he can charm when he wants to. 547 00:18:58,414 --> 00:19:00,157 - Well (laughing uncomfortably), I'm very touched 548 00:19:00,157 --> 00:19:02,062 by Mrs. Slocombe's confidence in me. 549 00:19:02,062 --> 00:19:03,120 I would have thought 550 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:04,794 she would have put herself up for an election. 551 00:19:04,794 --> 00:19:06,728 - Well that was my first thought. 552 00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:09,201 But you see, I've been making up the manifesto 553 00:19:09,201 --> 00:19:11,042 so you'd better do the chat 554 00:19:11,042 --> 00:19:12,999 and Mr. Humphries can be a minister 555 00:19:12,999 --> 00:19:14,522 without a thingy-ma-bob. 556 00:19:14,522 --> 00:19:15,602 (audience laughs) 557 00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:16,434 - Beg your pardon? 558 00:19:16,434 --> 00:19:17,437 - Portfolio. 559 00:19:17,437 --> 00:19:19,069 - That's the word I was looking for. 560 00:19:19,069 --> 00:19:20,051 - I'm glad he found it. 561 00:19:20,051 --> 00:19:21,886 (audience laughs) 562 00:19:21,886 --> 00:19:25,105 - And the rest of you can be in the cabinet. 563 00:19:25,105 --> 00:19:26,357 - We are not a government. 564 00:19:26,357 --> 00:19:30,678 We're just a delegation, don't let's get carried away. 565 00:19:30,678 --> 00:19:34,364 I wonder if this is more Anthony Eden. 566 00:19:34,364 --> 00:19:35,365 Mirror, Mr. Humphries. 567 00:19:35,365 --> 00:19:36,863 - Mirror, Mr. Spooner. 568 00:19:36,863 --> 00:19:39,106 - You know, I feel we're doing this for the workers 569 00:19:39,106 --> 00:19:42,158 all over this great country of ours. 570 00:19:42,158 --> 00:19:43,802 It reminds me of that poem, 571 00:19:43,802 --> 00:19:45,434 this sceptered isle, 572 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,348 this jewel set in a silver sea. 573 00:19:48,348 --> 00:19:49,181 This-- 574 00:19:49,181 --> 00:19:50,063 - This England. 575 00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:50,896 Let's have the Reed. 576 00:19:50,896 --> 00:19:51,761 (audience laughs) 577 00:19:51,761 --> 00:19:52,920 - I'll call for a cab. 578 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,028 - Oh yes, but we're not going 579 00:19:54,028 --> 00:19:56,438 until me and Miss Brahms has changed. 580 00:19:56,438 --> 00:19:58,308 We're not going looking like just anybody. 581 00:19:58,308 --> 00:19:59,932 - Listen, what if she's not in? 582 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,612 - Then we'll camp on the door step. 583 00:20:01,612 --> 00:20:04,034 - If we do that, we'll be on the six o'clock news. 584 00:20:04,034 --> 00:20:06,731 - If my mother sees me camping on the doorstep of Number 10, 585 00:20:06,731 --> 00:20:08,912 she'll never be able to show her face at bingo again. 586 00:20:08,912 --> 00:20:10,400 (audience laughs) 587 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,002 - Are you with us or against us? 588 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,280 Or one of the don't knows? 589 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,320 - Actually, I'm a don't know (laughs). 590 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,351 I'm with you. 591 00:20:16,351 --> 00:20:19,422 (audience laughs) 592 00:20:19,422 --> 00:20:20,756 - Wait in here, will you. 593 00:20:20,756 --> 00:20:22,424 Now the PM is aware of the reason for your visit 594 00:20:22,424 --> 00:20:23,849 and will give you a moment of her time 595 00:20:23,849 --> 00:20:24,886 as soon as she is free. 596 00:20:24,886 --> 00:20:26,142 - Oh, how kind. 597 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:28,973 (audience laughs) 598 00:20:31,715 --> 00:20:34,036 - Where's Mr. Humphries? 599 00:20:34,036 --> 00:20:35,808 - He was with us at the front door. 600 00:20:35,808 --> 00:20:38,440 - I ain't seen him since he fell over that golf club. 601 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,308 - Do you think he's got lost in the corridors of power? 602 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:43,163 - He'll get himself arrested. 603 00:20:43,163 --> 00:20:46,049 This whole place is top secret. 604 00:20:46,049 --> 00:20:49,286 - Oh, fancy us being in Number 10 Downing Street. 605 00:20:49,286 --> 00:20:50,923 - Yes, just think. 606 00:20:50,923 --> 00:20:52,761 Winston probably sat here. 607 00:20:52,761 --> 00:20:56,661 - Entertaining Lady Astor and all that mob. 608 00:20:56,661 --> 00:20:58,858 - Yes, it's certainly got atmosphere. 609 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:03,092 Lloyd George, Baldwin, all of them must have sat here. 610 00:21:03,092 --> 00:21:05,489 Yes, what fascinating conversations. 611 00:21:05,489 --> 00:21:08,088 Think what great decisions have been taken at this table. 612 00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:12,663 - I'll bet Wilson tapped his pipe out on that very ash tray. 613 00:21:12,663 --> 00:21:15,091 - Think of it, Lloyd George keeping secret 614 00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:17,534 the fact that his secretary was also his mistress. 615 00:21:17,534 --> 00:21:18,889 (laughs) 616 00:21:18,889 --> 00:21:21,093 I wonder what words were used 617 00:21:21,093 --> 00:21:23,887 when they were alone together in this room. 618 00:21:23,887 --> 00:21:26,005 - It's not as big as I thought it would be. 619 00:21:26,005 --> 00:21:28,887 (audience laughs) 620 00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:31,086 - That's 'cuz you don't have to dust it. 621 00:21:31,086 --> 00:21:33,449 (audience laughs) 622 00:21:33,449 --> 00:21:36,306 She hasn't been round lately either. 623 00:21:36,306 --> 00:21:38,401 - Shouldn't we go and look for Mr. Humphries? 624 00:21:38,401 --> 00:21:40,334 - He's probably looking everywhere for us. 625 00:21:40,334 --> 00:21:41,396 (phone rings) 626 00:21:41,396 --> 00:21:43,499 - If that's the red one, I'm under the table. 627 00:21:43,499 --> 00:21:45,165 - No, it's this one. 628 00:21:45,165 --> 00:21:46,224 - Ten to one it's Mr. Humphries 629 00:21:46,224 --> 00:21:48,906 saying he's under close arrest and would we vouch for him. 630 00:21:48,906 --> 00:21:50,291 - When I go to my doctor, 631 00:21:50,291 --> 00:21:51,722 the phone rings in the waiting room 632 00:21:51,722 --> 00:21:53,517 to say that the next patient's required. 633 00:21:53,517 --> 00:21:55,415 - Then probably that means that we can go and see her. 634 00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:56,749 - I don't think we should touch anything. 635 00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:58,860 - Yeah, but they know there's a delegation in here, 636 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:00,247 it must be for us. 637 00:22:00,247 --> 00:22:02,657 Otherwise somebody else would have answered it. 638 00:22:02,657 --> 00:22:03,780 - No, Mrs. Slocombe, don't! 639 00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:06,046 - Mrs. Slocombe, here. 640 00:22:06,046 --> 00:22:07,503 (audience laughs) 641 00:22:07,503 --> 00:22:09,153 Slocombe. 642 00:22:09,153 --> 00:22:13,317 Well, I'm sort of second in the party as it were. 643 00:22:14,671 --> 00:22:15,670 Ronald, who? 644 00:22:18,539 --> 00:22:20,178 Get away. 645 00:22:20,178 --> 00:22:22,869 (exclaims) 646 00:22:22,869 --> 00:22:24,450 It's Ronald Reagan! 647 00:22:25,373 --> 00:22:28,917 Actually, I don't think I'm quite the person 648 00:22:28,917 --> 00:22:31,332 to whom you wish to speak to. 649 00:22:31,332 --> 00:22:33,978 But, no no, wait a minute, hang on, just before you go, 650 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:35,673 while I have your attention, 651 00:22:35,673 --> 00:22:39,858 may I say on behalf of my department 652 00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:42,039 and of the rest of Britain, 653 00:22:42,039 --> 00:22:45,442 how much we admire you. 654 00:22:45,442 --> 00:22:46,275 We do, 655 00:22:47,688 --> 00:22:49,770 I've seen all your films. 656 00:22:51,728 --> 00:22:56,336 You're ringing because you're worried about Ann, who? 657 00:22:56,336 --> 00:22:58,573 Ann Dropoff, what film was she in? 658 00:22:58,573 --> 00:23:01,404 (audience laughs) 659 00:23:02,378 --> 00:23:04,659 We've been cut off. 660 00:23:04,659 --> 00:23:05,969 It really was him. 661 00:23:05,969 --> 00:23:07,960 - That's what we were afraid of. 662 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:12,042 - I didn't say anything out of place, did I? 663 00:23:12,042 --> 00:23:13,573 - (chuckles) Not from putting the western lines back 664 00:23:13,573 --> 00:23:15,606 about 20 years. 665 00:23:15,606 --> 00:23:18,271 - We'll all end up in the Tower of London. 666 00:23:18,271 --> 00:23:19,348 - Listen, someone's coming. 667 00:23:19,348 --> 00:23:22,446 Remember, we tried to stop her, but she overpowered us. 668 00:23:22,446 --> 00:23:24,383 - Well, I'm sorry that call got misrouted, 669 00:23:24,383 --> 00:23:27,186 but whoever answered it certainly put him in a good mood. 670 00:23:27,186 --> 00:23:29,855 And I must say your Mr. Humphries has charmed Pierre. 671 00:23:29,855 --> 00:23:30,687 - Where is he? 672 00:23:30,687 --> 00:23:33,109 - Helping her choose a hat for question time in the house. 673 00:23:33,109 --> 00:23:35,989 (audience laughs) 674 00:23:35,989 --> 00:23:40,498 - [Woman] Goodbye, and thank you so very much. 675 00:23:40,498 --> 00:23:41,767 - Great pleasure. 676 00:23:41,767 --> 00:23:43,462 Thanks for the tea. 677 00:23:43,462 --> 00:23:45,786 Mind the feather in the door. 678 00:23:45,786 --> 00:23:48,239 (door closes) 679 00:23:48,239 --> 00:23:50,030 Apparently she's running late. 680 00:23:50,030 --> 00:23:51,089 - You spoke to her? 681 00:23:51,089 --> 00:23:52,373 - Oh, nonstop. 682 00:23:52,373 --> 00:23:54,012 - About the Japanese takeover? 683 00:23:54,012 --> 00:23:56,073 - No, about my mother taking in washing. 684 00:23:56,073 --> 00:23:57,731 She gave me some very good advice. 685 00:23:57,731 --> 00:23:58,607 - What was it? 686 00:23:58,607 --> 00:24:00,623 - Well apparently it's two buckets of canal water 687 00:24:00,623 --> 00:24:04,129 to one of bold and don't touch SDP. 688 00:24:04,129 --> 00:24:05,226 - What's that? 689 00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:06,668 - Serf das in person. 690 00:24:06,668 --> 00:24:09,498 (audience laughs) 691 00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:16,702 - Well, I'm going to enter this hat 692 00:24:16,702 --> 00:24:19,097 for the Guinness Book of Records 693 00:24:19,097 --> 00:24:21,488 for the shortest political career. 694 00:24:21,488 --> 00:24:24,243 - Well it's not my fault we didn't get in to see her. 695 00:24:24,243 --> 00:24:25,570 - No, Mr. Humphries had his chance. 696 00:24:25,570 --> 00:24:27,136 He let it slip by. 697 00:24:27,136 --> 00:24:28,796 - I didn't know she was running late. 698 00:24:28,796 --> 00:24:30,779 By the time I talked her out of the green shoes 699 00:24:30,779 --> 00:24:32,694 with the red handbag and sold her on the hat, 700 00:24:32,694 --> 00:24:33,693 she was off. 701 00:24:34,870 --> 00:24:36,724 - (sighing) Well, I'm gonna go see Mr. Grace 702 00:24:36,724 --> 00:24:38,519 to have one last try. 703 00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:39,791 Are you all behind me? 704 00:24:39,791 --> 00:24:41,958 - We've lost the one chance we might have had. 705 00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:44,599 Far as I'm concerned, this is the end. 706 00:24:44,599 --> 00:24:45,743 - Isn't anybody coming? 707 00:24:45,743 --> 00:24:48,837 - You won't move Mr. Grace, he's a mean old man. 708 00:24:48,837 --> 00:24:51,160 - The power from that has been toppled. 709 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,600 - Yeah, you go upstairs and try and save your own skin. 710 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:54,893 We've had it down here. 711 00:24:54,893 --> 00:24:56,544 - Barring a miracle. 712 00:24:56,544 --> 00:24:58,507 - Well, if we don't meet again, 713 00:24:58,507 --> 00:25:00,548 at least nobody can say we didn't try. 714 00:25:00,548 --> 00:25:02,138 Goodbye, Stephen, 715 00:25:02,138 --> 00:25:03,388 Betty, 716 00:25:03,388 --> 00:25:04,870 Shirley, 717 00:25:04,870 --> 00:25:05,869 Wilberforce, 718 00:25:06,988 --> 00:25:08,623 and you Bert. 719 00:25:08,623 --> 00:25:09,977 Good luck. 720 00:25:09,977 --> 00:25:12,011 And to you, Harry. 721 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:14,094 - He knew all our names. 722 00:25:14,094 --> 00:25:16,530 He never used them, but he knew them. 723 00:25:16,530 --> 00:25:18,336 (audience laughs) 724 00:25:18,336 --> 00:25:20,371 - He was quite human, really. 725 00:25:20,371 --> 00:25:22,080 He gave me a little smile at the end. 726 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:22,954 (audience laughs) 727 00:25:22,954 --> 00:25:24,276 - Isn't it funny how disasters 728 00:25:24,276 --> 00:25:26,217 bring everybody closer together? 729 00:25:26,217 --> 00:25:27,734 - This is true. 730 00:25:27,734 --> 00:25:29,852 - Do you know, I never knew your name was Harry. 731 00:25:29,852 --> 00:25:31,207 - It ain't, it's Beverley. 732 00:25:31,207 --> 00:25:32,886 (audience laughs) 733 00:25:32,886 --> 00:25:34,906 But it's the thought that counts. 734 00:25:34,906 --> 00:25:37,602 (woman screams) 735 00:25:37,602 --> 00:25:39,212 - Something's terrible's happened. 736 00:25:39,212 --> 00:25:40,916 - Oh, she's as white as a sheet. 737 00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:42,996 - It's sitting in his chair, eating a banana. 738 00:25:42,996 --> 00:25:44,064 - What is? 739 00:25:44,064 --> 00:25:46,153 - That baldheaded monkey with the big ears. 740 00:25:46,153 --> 00:25:49,146 It climbed in the window and it sat in Mr. Rumbold's chair. 741 00:25:49,146 --> 00:25:50,649 - I'll go and alert Mr. Wooten. 742 00:25:50,649 --> 00:25:53,398 (elevator dings) 743 00:25:58,027 --> 00:26:01,524 - I am Mr. Kyoto, assistant to Mr. Yomoto. 744 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,814 He does not speak English, 745 00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:08,425 but would like to see workers and manager. 746 00:26:08,425 --> 00:26:10,147 - We are the workers. 747 00:26:10,147 --> 00:26:12,152 (speaks in Japanese) 748 00:26:12,152 --> 00:26:14,914 - Mr. Yomoto said, you should be at your positions. 749 00:26:14,914 --> 00:26:17,270 Such idle behavior is not good discipline. 750 00:26:17,270 --> 00:26:18,768 - Really? 751 00:26:18,768 --> 00:26:20,810 - We would like to speak to manager, 752 00:26:20,810 --> 00:26:23,545 (speaks in Japanese), must go that way. 753 00:26:23,545 --> 00:26:24,446 - I think I should tell you-- 754 00:26:24,446 --> 00:26:25,908 (yells in Japanese) 755 00:26:25,908 --> 00:26:28,832 - When Mr. Yomoto wants your opinion, he will tell you. 756 00:26:28,832 --> 00:26:29,840 (speaks in Japanese) 757 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,588 (elevator dings) 758 00:26:33,848 --> 00:26:36,670 - I'm afraid I was too late. 759 00:26:36,670 --> 00:26:38,452 Mr. Grace said that the subject 760 00:26:38,452 --> 00:26:42,006 of Mr. Yomoto's final decision, the deal's going through. 761 00:26:42,006 --> 00:26:44,159 The good news is, we're all to be kept on. 762 00:26:44,159 --> 00:26:45,394 - I very much doubt that, 763 00:26:45,394 --> 00:26:48,000 those two Japs have just gone into your office. 764 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,222 - And that flaming monkey is sitting in your chair. 765 00:26:50,222 --> 00:26:51,474 (audience laughs) 766 00:26:51,474 --> 00:26:52,708 - Good heavens! 767 00:26:52,708 --> 00:26:55,287 Judging by the size of the plaster on Mr. Wooten's nose, 768 00:26:55,287 --> 00:26:56,774 it's a most ferocious animal. 769 00:26:56,774 --> 00:26:58,192 - What are we going to do? 770 00:26:58,192 --> 00:26:59,704 - Apart from sending for the ambulance, 771 00:26:59,704 --> 00:27:02,344 it's too late to do anything. 772 00:27:02,344 --> 00:27:04,964 - Mr. Yomoto will not be buying Grace Brothers. 773 00:27:04,964 --> 00:27:06,828 - I'm terribly sorry, but I think I can explain. 774 00:27:06,828 --> 00:27:08,395 - No explanation necessary. 775 00:27:08,395 --> 00:27:11,284 He will not be insulted by middle management. 776 00:27:11,284 --> 00:27:12,743 - Don't tell me he got the two fingered salute 777 00:27:12,743 --> 00:27:13,806 and a raspberry? 778 00:27:13,806 --> 00:27:16,196 - That English welcome, we understood. 779 00:27:16,196 --> 00:27:19,281 But in our country, getting a banana in the ear 780 00:27:19,281 --> 00:27:21,573 is an insult we cannot forgive. 781 00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:22,850 Good day. 782 00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,406 (audience laughs) 783 00:27:25,406 --> 00:27:26,960 - British workers farewell? 784 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:27,793 - Agreed.