1
00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:08,896
♫ Ground floor, perfumery,
stationery and leather goods

2
00:00:08,896 --> 00:00:13,063
♫ Wigs and haberdashery,
kitchenware and food, going up!

3
00:00:23,138 --> 00:00:26,184
- Mr. Klein, what brings you
here at 8:30 in the morning?

4
00:00:26,184 --> 00:00:28,357
- Oh, it's Mr. Grace's idea,
he wanted me to help out

5
00:00:28,357 --> 00:00:30,077
with the sales next week.

6
00:00:30,077 --> 00:00:31,408
- Really?
In that case,

7
00:00:31,408 --> 00:00:34,128
I shall have to add your
name to the staff list.

8
00:00:34,128 --> 00:00:35,837
Mr. Klein of cutting.

9
00:00:35,837 --> 00:00:37,629
Is that spelled with a C or a K?

10
00:00:37,629 --> 00:00:40,236
- K for the Klein, C for the cutting.

11
00:00:40,236 --> 00:00:42,328
(laughing)

12
00:00:42,328 --> 00:00:45,328
- Klein, cutting, sign here, please.

13
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,199
- Good morning Captain Peacock.

14
00:00:48,199 --> 00:00:51,676
- Good morning, you
will be pleased to note

15
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:55,397
that Mr. Klein from cutting
is joining us for the sale.

16
00:00:55,397 --> 00:00:57,019
- Oh, good morning Mr. Klein.

17
00:00:57,019 --> 00:01:01,100
- (Singing) along and rather
well, here looking for the--

18
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:04,317
Crikey, half an hour early,
what's happened sumner?

19
00:01:04,317 --> 00:01:06,629
- No, the sale starts
Monday, today's Saturday,

20
00:01:06,629 --> 00:01:08,685
when we the humble staff of
Grace Brothers are allowed

21
00:01:08,685 --> 00:01:10,779
to have first crack at whatever we fancy.

22
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,974
- In that case, I'll bag
first, go with Miss Brahms.

23
00:01:12,974 --> 00:01:14,517
(laughing)

24
00:01:14,517 --> 00:01:16,844
Oh, cancel that, she looks terrible.

25
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:20,605
- D'you know I was up all night
worrying I wouldn't wake up.

26
00:01:20,605 --> 00:01:21,438
- Worried?

27
00:01:22,576 --> 00:01:25,547
Who'd wanna buy rubbish
like this, even in a sale?

28
00:01:25,547 --> 00:01:29,037
- Normally no one, but
there is one item that

29
00:01:29,037 --> 00:01:30,197
Mrs. Peacock has asked me to buy for her.

30
00:01:30,197 --> 00:01:32,114
- Oy! Hang on a minute!

31
00:01:33,277 --> 00:01:35,011
I'm the one that reduced it to that!

32
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,946
It is my department and it's
the only chance I'll ever get

33
00:01:37,946 --> 00:01:40,642
of paying that price for a fur coat.

34
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,725
- You could always pay another price.

35
00:01:45,263 --> 00:01:46,857
- Mind, you lookin' like
that, you'll be lucky to get

36
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:48,440
a pair of earmuffs.

37
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,717
- Well if you want it,
it'll be over my dead body.

38
00:01:52,717 --> 00:01:55,746
- Please, look, Mrs. Klein and
I have been married 40 years

39
00:01:55,746 --> 00:01:57,957
and she's never had a fur coat.

40
00:01:57,957 --> 00:02:00,578
And after all, I mean, she's
in the twilight of her life.

41
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:05,442
- Well in that case, who's
going to see her in the dark?

42
00:02:05,442 --> 00:02:07,457
- Nobody asked my opinion,
as a member of the staff,

43
00:02:07,457 --> 00:02:09,637
I'm just as entitled to buy it as you are.

44
00:02:09,637 --> 00:02:11,786
- If you can afford it.

45
00:02:11,786 --> 00:02:16,544
- At forty? On my overtime
alone, I can afford two!

46
00:02:16,544 --> 00:02:19,986
But as wife so rightly
says, "they're dead common."

47
00:02:19,986 --> 00:02:23,319
mind you, look alright on Mrs. Slocombe.

48
00:02:24,464 --> 00:02:26,706
- Oh, that's the trouble nowadays.

49
00:02:26,706 --> 00:02:29,405
All the wrong people have the money.

50
00:02:29,405 --> 00:02:33,064
- Well alright, as we all
seem to want the same thing,

51
00:02:33,064 --> 00:02:35,415
perhaps we should draw straws for it.

52
00:02:35,415 --> 00:02:37,085
- We haven't got any straws,

53
00:02:37,085 --> 00:02:40,005
and the canteen doesn't open til 10:30.

54
00:02:40,005 --> 00:02:41,405
- Apart from which, Mr.
Humphries isn't here,

55
00:02:41,405 --> 00:02:42,725
and we should give him a chance.

56
00:02:42,725 --> 00:02:44,626
- Well of course he's not
here, he hasn't got a wife

57
00:02:44,626 --> 00:02:47,274
or a girlfriend, so he's not in for it.

58
00:02:47,274 --> 00:02:49,774
(alarm rings)

59
00:02:51,264 --> 00:02:53,514
(laughing)

60
00:03:06,605 --> 00:03:07,895
- Do I take it, Mr. Humphries,

61
00:03:07,895 --> 00:03:10,314
that you have spent the
night on the counter?

62
00:03:10,314 --> 00:03:13,495
- I didn't want to be late for the sale.

63
00:03:13,495 --> 00:03:16,304
I didn't want to wake up, I
was having such a lovely dream.

64
00:03:16,304 --> 00:03:17,575
- Oh, what was it?

65
00:03:17,575 --> 00:03:20,255
- Well I dreamt that England
will play at Wales in rugby,

66
00:03:20,255 --> 00:03:24,586
and I was about to hurl myself
into the middle of the scram.

67
00:03:24,586 --> 00:03:25,495
- Do you mean to tell me, Mr. Humphries,

68
00:03:25,495 --> 00:03:28,165
that you dreamt you were actually
playing rugby for England?

69
00:03:28,165 --> 00:03:32,306
- No, I was in the crowd,
but I got carried away, I do.

70
00:03:32,306 --> 00:03:34,405
- Have you come for that coat?

71
00:03:34,405 --> 00:03:35,810
- As a matter of fact, I have.

72
00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:37,005
- It's not your color.

73
00:03:37,005 --> 00:03:38,666
- It's for me mother.

74
00:03:38,666 --> 00:03:41,295
- You've a five to one chance,
because we all want it.

75
00:03:41,295 --> 00:03:44,306
- Well, as Mrs. Slocombe
won't agree to drawing straws,

76
00:03:44,306 --> 00:03:45,565
what are we going to do?

77
00:03:45,565 --> 00:03:46,975
- Wait a minute, I've got an idea,

78
00:03:46,975 --> 00:03:49,100
now why don't we all blindfold ourselves,

79
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,775
and then the first one to grab hold of it,

80
00:03:50,775 --> 00:03:52,355
is the lucky one, ha!

81
00:03:52,355 --> 00:03:54,197
- I'm not walking around here blindfolded

82
00:03:54,197 --> 00:03:56,226
with a lot of hands waiting to get lucky.

83
00:03:56,226 --> 00:03:58,757
(laughing)

84
00:03:58,757 --> 00:04:00,517
- And that goes for me, too.

85
00:04:00,517 --> 00:04:03,086
- Could be your last chance.

86
00:04:03,086 --> 00:04:05,178
- Ignore him.
- I am.

87
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:07,366
It's not easy, but I am.

88
00:04:07,366 --> 00:04:08,406
- I think I've got the solution,

89
00:04:08,406 --> 00:04:10,578
why don't we treat it
like the Olympic Games,

90
00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:12,366
we'll all go down to the ground floor,

91
00:04:12,366 --> 00:04:14,007
line up at the bottom of the stairs,

92
00:04:14,007 --> 00:04:15,906
and on the word "go" we'll all run up here

93
00:04:15,906 --> 00:04:17,961
and the first one to
grab the ticket gets it.

94
00:04:17,961 --> 00:04:19,386
- I'll go along with that,

95
00:04:19,386 --> 00:04:21,538
but the ladies should have a start.

96
00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:23,806
- Oh, yes, the men must be handicapped.

97
00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:26,058
- No, no, I am already
handicapped, I still have

98
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,957
a slightly stiff leg as
the result of a war wound.

99
00:04:28,957 --> 00:04:30,218
- German bullet?

100
00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:31,530
- According to the way I heard it,

101
00:04:31,530 --> 00:04:35,292
he sat on a rusty fork in the cookhouse.

102
00:04:35,292 --> 00:04:37,210
- It did not happen in the cookhouse!

103
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,378
I was in the desert, resting by a tank.

104
00:04:39,378 --> 00:04:41,461
- Centurion?
- No, septic.

105
00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:45,781
- Well, if he has a bad leg,

106
00:04:45,781 --> 00:04:48,301
he can start just after Miss Brahms.

107
00:04:48,301 --> 00:04:51,519
- Oh, wait a minute, I've
got a disadvantage, my age.

108
00:04:51,519 --> 00:04:53,159
- Oh, well in that case you can start

109
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,326
alongside Captain Peacock.

110
00:04:56,530 --> 00:05:00,113
Mr. Humphries, do you
have a handicap, too?

111
00:05:01,679 --> 00:05:04,399
- Not that it'd make any difference, no.

112
00:05:04,399 --> 00:05:06,319
But I do think I ought to
start in front of Mr. Spooner

113
00:05:06,319 --> 00:05:08,210
I mean he's so young and agile.

114
00:05:08,210 --> 00:05:10,799
- Well then, it's Mrs. Slocombe
at the top of the stairs,

115
00:05:10,799 --> 00:05:14,159
followed by Miss Brahms, behind
her, Mr. Klein and myself,

116
00:05:14,159 --> 00:05:18,326
then Mr. Humphries, and outside
in the street, Mr. Spooner.

117
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,759
- Right, come on!

118
00:05:20,759 --> 00:05:22,279
- Wait, wait, wait.

119
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:23,799
- Good morning everybody.

120
00:05:23,799 --> 00:05:25,429
- [All] Good morning Mr. Grace.

121
00:05:25,429 --> 00:05:28,550
- Which coat was it, dear?
- This one, here.

122
00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:30,759
- Put it on my account, Peacock.

123
00:05:30,759 --> 00:05:33,799
- But it's in the sale, sir.
- Well, even better.

124
00:05:33,799 --> 00:05:37,228
- Oh, sir, I'll never forget
how happy you've made me.

125
00:05:37,228 --> 00:05:38,561
- When was that?

126
00:05:40,537 --> 00:05:43,827
- Carry on everybody,
you've all done very well.

127
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:46,244
- [All] Thank you, Mr. Grace.

128
00:05:49,654 --> 00:05:51,969
- Is this tea or coffee?

129
00:05:51,969 --> 00:05:55,444
- Does it taste faintly of bitter coconut?

130
00:05:55,444 --> 00:05:57,209
- Now you mention it, yes.

131
00:05:57,209 --> 00:05:58,126
- It's tea.

132
00:06:00,399 --> 00:06:02,551
- When I phoned Mrs.
Klein about the fur coat,

133
00:06:02,551 --> 00:06:04,649
she was in tears.

134
00:06:04,649 --> 00:06:06,729
I shall have to take her
out for a nice lunch now.

135
00:06:06,729 --> 00:06:09,466
- If you bring her here,
she'll be in tears again.

136
00:06:09,466 --> 00:06:11,849
- It's disgusting the way they feed us.

137
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,777
- And the way they pay us.

138
00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:16,988
- Yeah, Mr. Grace is pasty,
I reckon he ought to retire.

139
00:06:16,988 --> 00:06:19,785
- Spending the profits on a
fur coat for chit of a girl,

140
00:06:19,785 --> 00:06:21,209
it's disgusting.

141
00:06:21,209 --> 00:06:23,359
- Yeah, I'd like to know
what she had to do to get it.

142
00:06:23,359 --> 00:06:25,569
- If you play your cards
right, all you have to do

143
00:06:25,569 --> 00:06:28,284
is flutter your eyelids and smile,

144
00:06:28,284 --> 00:06:31,117
and you can get anything you want.

145
00:06:33,512 --> 00:06:37,066
Mr. Spooner, what are you
doing grinnin' at me like that?

146
00:06:37,066 --> 00:06:38,649
- I want the sugar.

147
00:06:42,557 --> 00:06:43,805
- Oh, sorry to trouble
you during your break,

148
00:06:43,805 --> 00:06:45,844
but I've been asked to
nominate a candidate for the

149
00:06:45,844 --> 00:06:49,004
Grace Brothers salesperson
of the year competition.

150
00:06:49,004 --> 00:06:51,586
Based on sales figures
for the last six months,

151
00:06:51,586 --> 00:06:53,736
I have of course nominated Mr. Humphries.

152
00:06:53,736 --> 00:06:55,604
- Oh.
- Well done, Mr. Humphries,

153
00:06:55,604 --> 00:06:57,776
I think a round of applause
is in order, don't you.

154
00:06:57,776 --> 00:07:01,400
(clapping weakly)

155
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,768
- May I thank you for
your touching reception.

156
00:07:04,768 --> 00:07:07,397
I am completely underwhelmed.

157
00:07:07,397 --> 00:07:08,648
- Is there a prize?

158
00:07:08,648 --> 00:07:10,768
- Well, if he wins against
the other departments,

159
00:07:10,768 --> 00:07:14,306
his name is engraved on the
solid silver challenge cup.

160
00:07:14,306 --> 00:07:15,986
- Do you know, I've never even seen that?

161
00:07:15,986 --> 00:07:19,415
- Well it's kept in the boardroom.

162
00:07:19,415 --> 00:07:22,736
The winner does of course
receive a three-inch replica

163
00:07:22,736 --> 00:07:24,736
in silver colored plastic.

164
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:27,717
- Oh yeah, Mr. Featherstone
had one of them once,

165
00:07:27,717 --> 00:07:29,176
and he had it on his mantelpiece,

166
00:07:29,176 --> 00:07:33,106
and one day he sneezed
and blew it into the fire.

167
00:07:33,106 --> 00:07:35,397
- There also has to be a
report from Miss Collins,

168
00:07:35,397 --> 00:07:37,734
I have the form here, Captain Peacock,

169
00:07:37,734 --> 00:07:39,168
perhaps you wouldn't mind filling it out?

170
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,228
I'd like it back in 15 minutes.

171
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,576
- But this is our break, sir.

172
00:07:43,576 --> 00:07:44,619
- Peacock, I'm still considering

173
00:07:44,619 --> 00:07:46,459
that rise that you asked about.

174
00:07:46,459 --> 00:07:48,741
- Would ten minutes be alright, sir?

175
00:07:48,741 --> 00:07:49,658
- Splendid.

176
00:07:52,726 --> 00:07:55,602
Progress report on Wilberforce
Clayborne Humphries, age--

177
00:07:55,602 --> 00:07:58,501
- Shh, keep your voice down, please!

178
00:07:58,501 --> 00:08:00,219
That's private and confidential,

179
00:08:00,219 --> 00:08:01,432
I don't want the whole world to know

180
00:08:01,432 --> 00:08:05,632
that I'm accelerating down
the road of life towards 40.

181
00:08:05,632 --> 00:08:07,407
- According to this form,
you can see it clearly

182
00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:09,490
in your rear-view mirror.

183
00:08:11,373 --> 00:08:15,108
Now, marks out of 10 for punctuality.

184
00:08:15,108 --> 00:08:16,633
- Well, he's never been late.

185
00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:18,891
- Except last Thursday week.

186
00:08:18,891 --> 00:08:21,964
- That wasn't his fault,
somebody snatched his handbag.

187
00:08:21,964 --> 00:08:23,979
- That wasn't my handbag,
it was me mother's,

188
00:08:23,979 --> 00:08:25,251
I was bringing it back
to have the crocodile

189
00:08:25,251 --> 00:08:27,161
stuck back on it.

190
00:08:27,161 --> 00:08:29,321
Anyway, the police complimented
me on the way I brought

191
00:08:29,321 --> 00:08:31,891
down the thief with a flying
tackle, after a 60-yard

192
00:08:31,891 --> 00:08:34,001
sprint through the marketplace.

193
00:08:34,001 --> 00:08:35,631
- Mr. Humphries, you
can hardly boast about

194
00:08:35,631 --> 00:08:39,798
making a citizen's arrest on
an organ grinder's monkey.

195
00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:45,262
- It had a very strong right
arm from turning that handle.

196
00:08:45,262 --> 00:08:47,862
- Nine out of ten for punctuality.

197
00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:50,041
And, general manner.

198
00:08:50,041 --> 00:08:52,371
- I would say: genial.

199
00:08:52,371 --> 00:08:54,451
- Yeah, he has got a nice smile.

200
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,302
- And he has a way with women.

201
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:59,052
- As well.
- I'll put "good mixer"

202
00:09:02,522 --> 00:09:06,534
Next question: Customer
handling, any comments?

203
00:09:06,534 --> 00:09:08,366
- Nobody's complained.

204
00:09:08,366 --> 00:09:10,334
- Except that Brazilian ballet dancer.

205
00:09:10,334 --> 00:09:11,705
- No, that was when I complained,

206
00:09:11,705 --> 00:09:13,320
he bought a very tight pair of trousers,

207
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,606
and I had to give him a "lift"

208
00:09:15,606 --> 00:09:18,225
to see if the seams were strong enough.

209
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,203
- That was the one we had to give

210
00:09:19,203 --> 00:09:20,703
a credit note to, wasn't it?

211
00:09:20,703 --> 00:09:24,087
- Yeah, and Mr. Humphries got
two free tickets for Swan Lake

212
00:09:24,087 --> 00:09:27,337
- Yes, customer handling: accomplished.

213
00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:30,107
Knowledge of stock.

214
00:09:30,107 --> 00:09:33,856
- Well, I know what I've got
and I know what I'm short of.

215
00:09:33,856 --> 00:09:38,267
Sometimes, I'm short
of what I wish I'd got.

216
00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:40,267
- Conversant with stock.

217
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,736
How does he react to authority?

218
00:09:43,736 --> 00:09:45,856
- Well I'm always there when
you need me, Captain Peacock.

219
00:09:45,856 --> 00:09:47,605
I've always been available
to answer the call

220
00:09:47,605 --> 00:09:48,833
for a customer.

221
00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:51,205
- And even when he's busy,
he has been known to help me

222
00:09:51,205 --> 00:09:52,664
with my stuff.

223
00:09:52,664 --> 00:09:54,904
- Oh, yeah, if ever you ask
him to do anything for you,

224
00:09:54,904 --> 00:09:57,033
he always will without complaining.

225
00:09:57,033 --> 00:10:00,016
- What's the word I'm
looking for to describe that?

226
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,849
- How about "crawler?"

227
00:10:02,715 --> 00:10:06,093
- It's either "ubiquitous" or "unctuous."

228
00:10:06,093 --> 00:10:08,704
But I think for this report,
the word "excellent" will do.

229
00:10:08,704 --> 00:10:12,093
- On account of he can't
spell the other two.

230
00:10:12,093 --> 00:10:15,010
- Tidy? Yes.
appearance in clothes?

231
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:17,410
Good.
sharp pencil always

232
00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:20,327
in top pocket?
Never without pencil.

233
00:10:24,544 --> 00:10:27,701
Does staff member take part in
any of our social activities?

234
00:10:27,701 --> 00:10:29,533
- No, not officially, but
I was thinking of joining

235
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:31,783
the whist club to keep fit.

236
00:10:32,948 --> 00:10:34,719
- How will that keep you fit?

237
00:10:34,719 --> 00:10:36,142
- They take such a long time of it,

238
00:10:36,142 --> 00:10:38,012
by the time they finish,
the last bus is gone

239
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:40,931
and you've got to run home.

240
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:43,345
- Surely you could walk?

241
00:10:43,345 --> 00:10:45,345
- Have you seen me walk?

242
00:10:46,214 --> 00:10:48,464
- I'll put "on the fringe."

243
00:10:49,364 --> 00:10:51,433
now, I just have to
add my general comments

244
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,985
and take it to Mr. Rumbold.

245
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,991
Oh, yes, and they want
a photograph of you.

246
00:10:54,991 --> 00:10:57,553
- Oh, I've got one somewhere,
taken with Jimmy Savile.

247
00:10:57,553 --> 00:10:58,673
- What were you doin' with him?

248
00:10:58,673 --> 00:11:00,334
- I was on Jim'll Fix It.

249
00:11:00,334 --> 00:11:03,334
- Did he?
- Yes, but not permanently.

250
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,964
- What's that one with all those girls on?

251
00:11:07,964 --> 00:11:09,564
- Oh? That's, I'm not on there,

252
00:11:09,564 --> 00:11:12,284
that's a picture of me
mother before I was born.

253
00:11:12,284 --> 00:11:13,503
She was on the stage.

254
00:11:13,503 --> 00:11:14,604
- Ooh, let's have a look.

255
00:11:14,604 --> 00:11:15,785
- That's her near the end.

256
00:11:15,785 --> 00:11:16,990
- Shh! Mr. Grace!

257
00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:19,204
(chairs shuffling)

258
00:11:19,204 --> 00:11:20,564
- Good afternoon, everybody.

259
00:11:20,564 --> 00:11:22,193
- [All] Good afternoon, Mr. Grace.

260
00:11:22,193 --> 00:11:24,244
- Enjoying the canteen fare?

261
00:11:24,244 --> 00:11:26,174
- [All] Yes, Mr. Grace.

262
00:11:26,174 --> 00:11:27,846
- There's your photo back, Mr. Humphries.

263
00:11:27,846 --> 00:11:29,406
- Oh, am I missing something?

264
00:11:29,406 --> 00:11:30,545
- It's just a picture of my mother

265
00:11:30,545 --> 00:11:31,905
when she was young and lovely.

266
00:11:31,905 --> 00:11:33,454
- Oh, was she a chorus girl?

267
00:11:33,454 --> 00:11:35,574
- Yes, that's her near the end.

268
00:11:35,574 --> 00:11:38,965
- Good grief, is that
the Golden Garter Girls?

269
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,035
- Yes it is.

270
00:11:40,035 --> 00:11:41,395
- The old Palace Theater?

271
00:11:41,395 --> 00:11:43,645
- That's right.
- In 1938?

272
00:11:43,645 --> 00:11:46,109
- I believe that was the date.

273
00:11:46,109 --> 00:11:47,654
- Was her name Annie?

274
00:11:47,654 --> 00:11:48,854
- Yes, it was.

275
00:11:48,854 --> 00:11:51,521
- Did you ever meet your father?

276
00:11:54,366 --> 00:11:56,025
- Well, I thought I did.

277
00:11:56,025 --> 00:11:59,195
- I've always regretted
running away and leaving her

278
00:11:59,195 --> 00:12:00,334
in that state.

279
00:12:00,334 --> 00:12:03,806
She was a lively little thing,
but I was bent on becoming

280
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,736
the world's champion racing driver.

281
00:12:06,736 --> 00:12:08,454
I was young and foolish.

282
00:12:08,454 --> 00:12:11,436
A bunch of flowers,
champagne from her slipper,

283
00:12:11,436 --> 00:12:13,260
and it was all happening.

284
00:12:13,260 --> 00:12:14,711
- What are you talking about, you mean?

285
00:12:14,711 --> 00:12:17,794
- Yes, I'm afraid it's true.
- Daddy!

286
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:24,194
(knocking)

287
00:12:24,194 --> 00:12:27,295
- Enter!
- You sent for me, Mr. Rumbold

288
00:12:27,295 --> 00:12:30,682
- I hope that wasn't the way
the message was conveyed,

289
00:12:30,682 --> 00:12:34,153
I asked Captain Peacock to
request that you come and see me,

290
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:35,935
in your own good time.

291
00:12:35,935 --> 00:12:37,361
Well, sit down, sit down.

292
00:12:37,361 --> 00:12:41,258
No, no, no, no, not there,
have mine, it's got arms.

293
00:12:41,258 --> 00:12:43,425
- So it has, oh it's warm.

294
00:12:49,788 --> 00:12:53,932
Oh, thank you, I have a
friend that smokes these.

295
00:12:53,932 --> 00:12:55,657
- Perhaps you'd like to give him the box?

296
00:12:55,657 --> 00:12:58,889
- Actually it's a 'her' but
I will give her the box.

297
00:12:58,889 --> 00:13:01,639
It'll be handy to keep things in.

298
00:13:02,524 --> 00:13:03,586
- Needlework?

299
00:13:03,586 --> 00:13:06,836
- No, gum shields, she wrestles in mud.

300
00:13:08,228 --> 00:13:10,457
- Wrestles in mud, what, for a living?

301
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:14,622
- Well, it is now, but when we
started it was just for fun.

302
00:13:14,622 --> 00:13:17,427
- Well you certainly see
life from every angle.

303
00:13:17,427 --> 00:13:18,844
- Well, she does.

304
00:13:20,026 --> 00:13:22,497
- Old Mr. Grace is naturally
overjoyed that he has

305
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:25,649
found himself an heir, and so am I.

306
00:13:25,649 --> 00:13:26,959
It's only a matter of time before

307
00:13:26,959 --> 00:13:29,089
you're in that big chair up there.

308
00:13:29,089 --> 00:13:31,079
And when you are, I hope
that you'll remember

309
00:13:31,079 --> 00:13:33,239
who it was who made you welcome down here.

310
00:13:33,239 --> 00:13:34,547
- Oh, I will.

311
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,660
- And if you wanna know what's going on,

312
00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:39,054
I always keep my ear to the ground.

313
00:13:39,054 --> 00:13:39,997
- Really?

314
00:13:39,997 --> 00:13:42,779
You must cover a lot of territory.

315
00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:43,784
(knocking)

316
00:13:43,784 --> 00:13:45,034
- [Both] Enter.

317
00:13:47,054 --> 00:13:47,887
(door closes)

318
00:13:47,887 --> 00:13:49,356
- Your tea, sir.

319
00:13:49,356 --> 00:13:52,540
Oh, I see he's got your job already, eh?

320
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,167
First rung in the ladder.

321
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,057
Well, goodbye Rumbold,
hope you'll be very happy

322
00:13:56,057 --> 00:13:57,787
in your new job.

323
00:13:57,787 --> 00:13:59,756
That's if you get one.

324
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,305
- I am not leaving, I am
merely having a private talk

325
00:14:02,305 --> 00:14:04,487
with old Mr. Grace Jr. Here.

326
00:14:04,487 --> 00:14:08,839
- Mr. Grace-Humphries, I
shall keep my maiden name.

327
00:14:08,839 --> 00:14:10,937
- Ah, well, here is your tea, sir.

328
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:13,559
Oh, uh, excuse me, I
expect you would prefer the

329
00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,309
extra strong, executive-type tea.

330
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,816
(clinking)

331
00:14:21,816 --> 00:14:24,016
May I take this opportunity
to mention, sir,

332
00:14:24,016 --> 00:14:27,468
that the washroom in the
packing is up the creek.

333
00:14:27,468 --> 00:14:29,079
None of the taps work, and
we have to get the water

334
00:14:29,079 --> 00:14:31,508
for making the tea from
the cistern in the loo.

335
00:14:31,508 --> 00:14:33,508
(spits)

336
00:14:34,559 --> 00:14:36,798
- Thank you, Mr. Harmon,
you may leave us now.

337
00:14:36,798 --> 00:14:38,388
- Have I your permission to
leave, Mr. Grace-Humphries?

338
00:14:38,388 --> 00:14:40,468
- Mr. Rumbold's still in charge.

339
00:14:40,468 --> 00:14:42,551
- Thank you sir.
Get out.

340
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:45,497
- See the way he treats the lower orders?

341
00:14:45,497 --> 00:14:47,695
If you do have industrial
action on your hands,

342
00:14:47,695 --> 00:14:51,185
he'll be to blame, you'll be the cause.

343
00:14:51,185 --> 00:14:52,836
(door opens, then closes)

344
00:14:52,836 --> 00:14:54,127
- A very difficult man.

345
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,916
(door opens, then closes)

346
00:14:55,916 --> 00:14:57,166
- Oh!
Excuse me.

347
00:14:58,396 --> 00:15:00,682
I've got a message for you, Mr. Humphries.

348
00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:02,515
- I think I've got it.

349
00:15:03,617 --> 00:15:06,076
- It's from old Mr. Grace,
he says could you pop up

350
00:15:06,076 --> 00:15:07,856
and see him when you're free?

351
00:15:07,856 --> 00:15:09,376
Just to have a look 'round the office,

352
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,268
anytime before 3 O'clock?

353
00:15:11,268 --> 00:15:12,615
- What happens at three?

354
00:15:12,615 --> 00:15:13,924
- He falls asleep.

355
00:15:13,924 --> 00:15:15,913
- It's a long day for him, isn't it?

356
00:15:15,913 --> 00:15:17,844
- Yes, I expect when you get up there,

357
00:15:17,844 --> 00:15:19,903
you'll be at it until the store closes.

358
00:15:19,903 --> 00:15:22,236
- I wouldn't bank on it, no.

359
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,784
- There we are, madam, we've
had it repaired for you.

360
00:15:27,784 --> 00:15:30,764
And the factory say
they've put in extra strong

361
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,431
elastic at the back.

362
00:15:34,438 --> 00:15:37,663
But, if I were you, I'd
take only shallow breaths

363
00:15:37,663 --> 00:15:38,830
to begin with.

364
00:15:40,145 --> 00:15:42,478
Until you've got it running.

365
00:15:43,545 --> 00:15:48,112
Fancy, Mr. Humphries
being old Mr. Grace's son.

366
00:15:48,112 --> 00:15:49,862
- Yeah, it must be awful
to find out you've been

367
00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:52,102
born on the wrong side of the blanket.

368
00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:54,422
It may eat at him that
he's some sort of a--

369
00:15:54,422 --> 00:15:55,755
- Basket!
Madam!

370
00:16:00,162 --> 00:16:03,129
Miss Brahms, Mr. Humphries
has already told us

371
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:06,398
that his mother was
married when he arrived.

372
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:07,907
- Yeah, well I bet she was
the only one in the maternity

373
00:16:07,907 --> 00:16:10,559
ward wearing a wedding dress.

374
00:16:10,559 --> 00:16:12,876
- He's a very charming man.

375
00:16:12,876 --> 00:16:16,261
All he needs is a good woman behind him.

376
00:16:16,261 --> 00:16:18,521
- Mrs. Slocombe, you're not considering?

377
00:16:18,521 --> 00:16:20,819
- Well he and I get on
very well together so you

378
00:16:20,819 --> 00:16:22,811
watch your step, my girl.

379
00:16:22,811 --> 00:16:27,624
Because I, too, might be sitting
in that big chair up there.

380
00:16:27,624 --> 00:16:31,791
- Well if you do, it won't
leave much room for him.

381
00:16:33,469 --> 00:16:35,108
- Get all those sweaters
out of that drawer,

382
00:16:35,108 --> 00:16:38,841
shake 'em out, fold 'em
up, and put 'em back!

383
00:16:38,841 --> 00:16:41,281
(drawer opens)

384
00:16:41,281 --> 00:16:43,209
(makes kissing sounds)

385
00:16:43,209 --> 00:16:45,105
- Sorry I've been off the floor so long.

386
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:48,148
- No, take all the time in the world.

387
00:16:48,148 --> 00:16:49,470
- Oh, it's nearly half-past two,

388
00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:50,639
perhaps you'd like to go home?

389
00:16:50,639 --> 00:16:53,038
- Oh, no, no, no, no, I still work here!

390
00:16:53,038 --> 00:16:55,769
Besides, I've got a call
coming through from me mother.

391
00:16:55,769 --> 00:16:57,374
- Oh, while you were away, Mr. Humphries,

392
00:16:57,374 --> 00:17:00,619
I sold a three-piece, and
I put it down for you,

393
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,558
because I know that if you had been here,

394
00:17:02,558 --> 00:17:03,798
you'd have gotten there first.

395
00:17:03,798 --> 00:17:05,607
- Oh, I couldn't possibly
take your commission.

396
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:06,938
- Oh, please, I insist!

397
00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:08,929
After all, you're an old friend.

398
00:17:08,929 --> 00:17:10,550
- Oh, I feel like royalty.

399
00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:11,968
(phone rings)

400
00:17:11,968 --> 00:17:13,968
- Menswear.
Your Majesty.

401
00:17:16,950 --> 00:17:18,783
- Hello?
Hello, Mother!

402
00:17:20,158 --> 00:17:23,158
It's Wilburforce.
Wilburforce, dear.

403
00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:26,238
Yes, I've got some news for you.

404
00:17:26,238 --> 00:17:29,790
No, no, will you, everything's
alright, will you listen?

405
00:17:29,790 --> 00:17:31,691
Yes, I've got a surprise for you,

406
00:17:31,691 --> 00:17:33,081
but I can't tell you over the phone,

407
00:17:33,081 --> 00:17:35,171
so you'll have to get yourself here.

408
00:17:35,171 --> 00:17:36,504
Yes, get a taxi.

409
00:17:37,934 --> 00:17:40,219
No, it won't cost me
anything, it's being paid for

410
00:17:40,219 --> 00:17:44,601
by a very kind old gentleman
whom you've met before.

411
00:17:44,601 --> 00:17:48,190
No, it's not that vicar, dear,
I haven't seen him for years.

412
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:51,790
No, no, love, it won't
be in the evening papers,

413
00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:53,707
no, just get here, bye.

414
00:17:54,579 --> 00:17:56,110
- Do I understand that
we're to have the pleasure

415
00:17:56,110 --> 00:17:57,571
of meeting your dear mother?

416
00:17:57,571 --> 00:17:58,939
- Yes, she's on her way.

417
00:17:58,939 --> 00:18:01,241
(elevator dings)

418
00:18:01,241 --> 00:18:02,574
- Oh, Robertson.

419
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,350
I have just come from the board room,

420
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:07,051
Mr. Grace sends his compliments,

421
00:18:07,051 --> 00:18:09,470
it appears a member of
the staff informed him

422
00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:11,828
that you hoped to buy this at a sale.

423
00:18:11,828 --> 00:18:13,138
Had he known the fact at the time,

424
00:18:13,138 --> 00:18:16,091
he would've insisted that
Mr. Grace-Humphries have it.

425
00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:17,601
Therefore, he is giving his secretary

426
00:18:17,601 --> 00:18:19,241
next Wednesday off in lieu.

427
00:18:19,241 --> 00:18:21,931
And there is the coat
with his compliments.

428
00:18:21,931 --> 00:18:22,988
- Who told him?

429
00:18:22,988 --> 00:18:25,712
- Someone I hope you
will reward handsomely

430
00:18:25,712 --> 00:18:27,295
in the near future.

431
00:18:30,756 --> 00:18:32,356
- You lucky devil!

432
00:18:32,356 --> 00:18:36,944
- How nice for your dear
mother, I hope it's her color.

433
00:18:36,944 --> 00:18:37,902
- I'm not worried about the color,

434
00:18:37,902 --> 00:18:39,470
I'm just wondering if it's
gonna be warm enough for her

435
00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:42,662
in the ambulance when she
finds out that that young man

436
00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:46,829
bent on being a racing driver
is now just old and bent.

437
00:18:51,775 --> 00:18:55,220
- Come in, Wilburforce.
- Thank you, daddy.

438
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:58,850
- How do I look?
- Not a day over 82.

439
00:18:58,850 --> 00:19:01,508
- It's over 40 years since
I last saw your mother.

440
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,388
I suppose she's changed a bit.

441
00:19:03,388 --> 00:19:05,068
- She still looks the same to me.

442
00:19:05,068 --> 00:19:06,940
- She was a firecracker.

443
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:11,245
- Yes, and to think it
was you that lit the fuse.

444
00:19:11,245 --> 00:19:12,868
(telecom buzzes)

445
00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:16,415
- It's the doorman, sir, taxi's here!

446
00:19:16,415 --> 00:19:19,026
He's just dropped Mrs. Humphries
off at the front entrance!

447
00:19:19,026 --> 00:19:20,399
- Oh, me leg's gone.

448
00:19:20,399 --> 00:19:23,630
- Send her up, send her up straight away!

449
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:25,900
Oh, she's in the lift!

450
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,483
Oh, oh, now my leg's gone, too!

451
00:19:31,522 --> 00:19:34,272
(elevator dings)

452
00:19:44,091 --> 00:19:46,588
- Are you being served, madam?

453
00:19:46,588 --> 00:19:47,646
- Is this where he works?

454
00:19:47,646 --> 00:19:48,536
- I beg your pardon?

455
00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:50,277
- My son, Wilburforce.

456
00:19:50,277 --> 00:19:51,587
- You're Mrs. Humphries.

457
00:19:51,587 --> 00:19:55,253
- You must be Captain Peacock
in charge of the floor.

458
00:19:55,253 --> 00:19:59,312
Well he was right, you do have
a very dominant personality.

459
00:19:59,312 --> 00:20:03,087
I don't think he's right
about the beady eyes, though.

460
00:20:03,087 --> 00:20:06,142
- What a grand sense of humor he has.

461
00:20:06,142 --> 00:20:08,225
Gather 'round, everybody.

462
00:20:09,832 --> 00:20:12,999
This is Mrs. Humphries, Mrs. Slocombe,

463
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:18,839
- If you don't mind me saying
so, you look far too young

464
00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:20,019
to be his mother.

465
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,279
- No, really?
- Yes, really.

466
00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:23,946
- Oh, I'm nearly 60.

467
00:20:24,785 --> 00:20:27,208
- I don't believe it.
- Oh, it's true.

468
00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:30,791
- Well, I'm nearly 40.
- I don't believe it.

469
00:20:34,519 --> 00:20:35,764
- This is Miss Brahms.

470
00:20:35,764 --> 00:20:37,150
- May I say what a pleasure it is

471
00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:39,567
having your son on the floor.

472
00:20:42,852 --> 00:20:45,430
- One doesn't often hear that.

473
00:20:45,430 --> 00:20:46,939
- I'm Mr. Spooner, and
your son's been over me

474
00:20:46,939 --> 00:20:49,139
for six months and I'm very satisfied.

475
00:20:49,139 --> 00:20:52,200
- I'm Mr. Klein you're son's
been under me all morning,

476
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,117
and I'm very satisfied.

477
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:59,209
- So many people to please, I
don't know how he manages it.

478
00:20:59,209 --> 00:21:01,790
- This is his place, over
here, Mrs. Humphries.

479
00:21:01,790 --> 00:21:03,019
There we are, over there.

480
00:21:03,019 --> 00:21:05,030
- Oh, if I can say so, Captain Peacock,

481
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,979
I don't know how he has the time.

482
00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:08,166
- This way a little bit.

483
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:10,070
Now, that is where he stands,

484
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:13,237
and this is his very own tape measure.

485
00:21:14,371 --> 00:21:18,640
- Oh, I say, it's a bit
frayed at the end, isn't it?

486
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,119
- Well it's just about due
for a 3000 inside-leg service.

487
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:22,952
- I believe you're expected

488
00:21:22,952 --> 00:21:24,339
up in the boardroom Mrs. Humphries.

489
00:21:24,339 --> 00:21:25,299
- Yes, I just wanted to get

490
00:21:25,299 --> 00:21:27,899
the atmosphere of his environment.

491
00:21:27,899 --> 00:21:29,651
- This is the actual
piece of chalk he used

492
00:21:29,651 --> 00:21:31,999
to shorten the the sleeves
on a 38 long fitted.

493
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:34,582
- It's no... it's all too much!

494
00:21:37,611 --> 00:21:38,950
- Well if you can stand the strain,

495
00:21:38,950 --> 00:21:39,939
there's a half-eaten pastry

496
00:21:39,939 --> 00:21:42,991
he was saving for his coffee break.

497
00:21:42,991 --> 00:21:43,824
I can still see the teeth-marks.

498
00:21:43,824 --> 00:21:47,003
- Yes, that naughty boy still
hasn't been to the dentist.

499
00:21:47,003 --> 00:21:50,237
- Ah, well this is the
hankie he puts in his cuff.

500
00:21:50,237 --> 00:21:53,545
- Now that's what happened
to my four seven eleven.

501
00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:54,378
(elevator dings)

502
00:21:54,378 --> 00:21:55,787
- There's an empty lift, Mrs. Humphries,

503
00:21:55,787 --> 00:21:57,896
perhaps you'd like to go up now?

504
00:21:57,896 --> 00:21:59,816
- They've got a surprise for you.

505
00:21:59,816 --> 00:22:02,187
- Oh, I say, what is it?

506
00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:05,225
- Oh, it's a secret, it
happened a long time ago,

507
00:22:05,225 --> 00:22:07,347
and it's to do with your son.

508
00:22:07,347 --> 00:22:09,416
- That probation officer
with the pink pork pie hat's

509
00:22:09,416 --> 00:22:10,888
not up there, is he?

510
00:22:10,888 --> 00:22:12,825
- It's nothing like that, Mrs. Humphries.

511
00:22:12,825 --> 00:22:14,856
- Well it's been very
nice to have met you all.

512
00:22:14,856 --> 00:22:17,705
- The pleasure is all ours.

513
00:22:17,705 --> 00:22:18,867
- Allow me to escort you to the lift.

514
00:22:18,867 --> 00:22:21,367
- Oh, such manners, thank you.

515
00:22:22,427 --> 00:22:24,208
You know, when one gets to know you,

516
00:22:24,208 --> 00:22:27,291
you're not a toffee-nosed git at all.

517
00:22:31,221 --> 00:22:32,905
(elevator dings)

518
00:22:32,905 --> 00:22:33,865
- Anybody seen me mum?

519
00:22:33,865 --> 00:22:35,158
- You just missed her.

520
00:22:35,158 --> 00:22:36,307
- She's just gone up.

521
00:22:36,307 --> 00:22:38,025
- Well I'll wait a few
minutes before I go up,

522
00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:39,868
it's going to be a very touching reunion.

523
00:22:39,868 --> 00:22:42,357
- Forty years is a long time.

524
00:22:42,357 --> 00:22:43,339
- Apart from which,

525
00:22:43,339 --> 00:22:46,126
no one has told her that
her secret is known.

526
00:22:46,126 --> 00:22:48,758
- I wonder how she'll take it.

527
00:22:48,758 --> 00:22:49,591
- So do I.

528
00:22:52,921 --> 00:22:56,434
- Come in, Mrs. Humphries, your
son's just gone downstairs,

529
00:22:56,434 --> 00:22:58,234
but he'll be back in a minute.

530
00:22:58,234 --> 00:23:00,623
- Come in, come in.

531
00:23:00,623 --> 00:23:02,125
- You must be Mr. Grace.

532
00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:04,914
- And you must be little Annie.

533
00:23:04,914 --> 00:23:05,914
- Thank you.

534
00:23:09,576 --> 00:23:11,936
- Can you forgive me
for what I did to you?

535
00:23:11,936 --> 00:23:14,983
- Well I've only just
arrived, what did you do?

536
00:23:14,983 --> 00:23:17,704
- Leaving you like that,
when you needed me,

537
00:23:17,704 --> 00:23:21,000
when you both needed
me, all those years ago.

538
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,331
- I don't know what you're talking about.

539
00:23:22,331 --> 00:23:24,502
I've never met you before in my life.

540
00:23:24,502 --> 00:23:27,984
- Do you remember a youngish
man who came to the show,

541
00:23:27,984 --> 00:23:30,183
drank champagne out of your slipper,

542
00:23:30,183 --> 00:23:32,576
and dined you at Romano's?

543
00:23:32,576 --> 00:23:35,024
- No, I remember an oldish
man who bought me a Wellington

544
00:23:35,024 --> 00:23:39,353
boot full of milk stout and
took me out for a fish supper.

545
00:23:39,353 --> 00:23:43,920
- That was me in those days,
just like that was you.

546
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,759
- That's not me, I never
danced with feathers.

547
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:49,803
That's me with the
balloons and the big hat,

548
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,075
that one you're pointing
to, that's Annie Grainger,

549
00:23:52,075 --> 00:23:54,078
the girl that couldn't say "no."

550
00:23:54,078 --> 00:23:56,707
Every man's leavings, you
should've seen the rubbish

551
00:23:56,707 --> 00:23:58,766
that used to come and see her.

552
00:23:58,766 --> 00:24:01,787
- You mean I'm not the
father of your child?

553
00:24:01,787 --> 00:24:03,995
- Well let me put it this
way: were you ever a milk

554
00:24:03,995 --> 00:24:07,625
roundsman that got kicked
in the head by his horse,

555
00:24:07,625 --> 00:24:10,715
and had to lie down in
somebody's front parlor?

556
00:24:10,715 --> 00:24:12,896
- No.
- Did you ever drop

557
00:24:12,896 --> 00:24:17,587
by parachute in a backyard in
Runcorn late one Friday night?

558
00:24:17,587 --> 00:24:20,632
- No.
- Were you ever caught

559
00:24:20,632 --> 00:24:22,805
in the Tunnel of Love in Weston-super-Mare

560
00:24:22,805 --> 00:24:25,106
during a power failure?

561
00:24:25,106 --> 00:24:26,673
- No.
- Well in that case,

562
00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:28,465
I can safely say that my son is

563
00:24:28,465 --> 00:24:31,096
no relation to you whatsoever.

564
00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:32,480
- What a relief!

565
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,397
Get me Captain Peacock!

566
00:24:36,125 --> 00:24:38,216
(phone rings)

567
00:24:38,216 --> 00:24:40,380
- Menswear
It's for you, Captain Peacock.

568
00:24:40,380 --> 00:24:42,235
It's his daddy.

569
00:24:42,235 --> 00:24:43,652
- Yes, sir?
What?

570
00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:49,430
I see, an unfortunate mistake sir, yes.

571
00:24:51,107 --> 00:24:52,874
Oh, you're relieved.

572
00:24:52,874 --> 00:24:53,957
Yes, so am I.

573
00:24:57,159 --> 00:24:59,756
- What's happening?
Come on, tell us!

574
00:24:59,756 --> 00:25:01,884
- In a nutshell, Mr. Humphries, Mr. Grace

575
00:25:01,884 --> 00:25:03,564
is not your father.

576
00:25:03,564 --> 00:25:05,713
- Mr. Grace is not my father?

577
00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:07,630
What does that make me?

578
00:25:18,749 --> 00:25:20,744
- In the circumstances, Mr. Humphries,

579
00:25:20,744 --> 00:25:23,014
I suggest you return to normal.

580
00:25:23,014 --> 00:25:26,847
Or in your case, as near
as you can get to it.

581
00:25:30,483 --> 00:25:32,681
- Goodbye, sweet smell of success.

582
00:25:32,681 --> 00:25:34,822
- Hello, the pong of poverty.

583
00:25:34,822 --> 00:25:35,892
- Anyways, you'll get over it.

584
00:25:35,892 --> 00:25:37,670
- I'm not worried about
me, it's me mother,

585
00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:39,271
she'll be so disappointed.

586
00:25:39,271 --> 00:25:41,001
- Nevermind, she's got a nice fur coat

587
00:25:41,001 --> 00:25:42,673
to take her mind off it.

588
00:25:42,673 --> 00:25:46,152
- I'd forgotten about that,
let's have a look at it.

589
00:25:46,152 --> 00:25:47,751
There's nothing like a fur coat

590
00:25:47,751 --> 00:25:49,532
for getting over a disappointment.

591
00:25:49,532 --> 00:25:50,662
- Would you like me to wrap it up

592
00:25:50,662 --> 00:25:52,631
and make a nice parcel for her?

593
00:25:52,631 --> 00:25:54,402
- No, I think I'll have it meself,

594
00:25:54,402 --> 00:25:57,235
I'm more disappointed than she is.

595
00:25:58,502 --> 00:26:01,402
- Mr. Humphries, you can't
wear a ladies' ankle length

596
00:26:01,402 --> 00:26:02,857
fur coat in broad daylight!

597
00:26:02,857 --> 00:26:04,462
- You're quite right, Captain Peacock,

598
00:26:04,462 --> 00:26:08,629
I'll have it shortened and
wear it in the evenings.

599
00:26:11,494 --> 00:26:13,994
(theme music)