1 00:00:05,466 --> 00:00:08,759 ♫ Ground floor perfumery, stationery and leather goods, 2 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:10,235 ♫ wigs and haberdashery, 3 00:00:10,235 --> 00:00:11,764 ♫ kitchenware and food 4 00:00:11,764 --> 00:00:14,014 ♫ Going up 5 00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:21,894 ♫ First floor telephones, gents ready-made suits 6 00:00:21,894 --> 00:00:23,214 - Certainly sir. 7 00:00:23,214 --> 00:00:25,088 Mr. Lucas, are you free? 8 00:00:25,088 --> 00:00:27,454 - I'm free Mr. Humphreys. 9 00:00:27,454 --> 00:00:29,116 - Your customer for the made to measure suit. 10 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,124 - Ah, good morning sir. 11 00:00:30,124 --> 00:00:31,887 And may I say, what a lovely morning it is. 12 00:00:31,887 --> 00:00:33,744 One can almost feel a touch of spring in the air, 13 00:00:33,744 --> 00:00:34,810 don't you almost feel there's a touch 14 00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:36,344 of spring in the air, Mr. Humphreys? 15 00:00:36,344 --> 00:00:37,629 - Now that you mention it Mr. Lucas, 16 00:00:37,629 --> 00:00:41,523 I did feel a bit frisky about half past seven this morning. 17 00:00:41,523 --> 00:00:44,273 Mind you, it was a waste of time. 18 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:47,660 - Fetch the gentleman's suit, Mr. Lucas. 19 00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,176 - Yes, one suit coming up, Mr. Granger. 20 00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:50,086 - I'll take the customer 21 00:00:50,086 --> 00:00:51,510 into the changing room, Mr. Granger, 22 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,208 and put his clothes on a coat hanger. 23 00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:56,683 - And come straight back, Mr. Humphreys. 24 00:00:56,683 --> 00:00:59,777 - And that's of the main street in Ajaxi. 25 00:00:59,777 --> 00:01:01,864 - Oh, my girlfriend went there last year, 26 00:01:01,864 --> 00:01:02,838 but she didn't like it. 27 00:01:02,838 --> 00:01:06,146 Every time she went out, she got her bottom pinched. 28 00:01:06,146 --> 00:01:07,404 - Well, of course, that only happens 29 00:01:07,404 --> 00:01:09,977 to a certain class of person. 30 00:01:09,977 --> 00:01:12,017 I mean, my friend Mrs. Elthrope and me 31 00:01:12,017 --> 00:01:15,407 walked up and down there one entire evening 32 00:01:15,407 --> 00:01:16,558 and nothing happened. 33 00:01:20,006 --> 00:01:23,189 - No, I think I'll try somewhere else. 34 00:01:23,189 --> 00:01:24,966 I've decided on Tunisia. 35 00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:28,726 I feel in the mood for palm trees and deserts. 36 00:01:28,726 --> 00:01:30,481 - Oh well, that's funny, because my girlfriend 37 00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,283 went there the year before last year, 38 00:01:32,283 --> 00:01:33,855 and she didn't like that either, 39 00:01:33,855 --> 00:01:35,342 'cause she got tangled up with this sheik 40 00:01:35,342 --> 00:01:37,416 what wanted to put in his harem. 41 00:01:40,232 --> 00:01:42,149 Where exactly was that? 42 00:01:46,351 --> 00:01:49,455 - No, they're photographs of my holiday last year, 43 00:01:49,455 --> 00:01:50,689 Captain Peacock. 44 00:01:50,689 --> 00:01:51,998 - Well, perhaps we could have a look at them 45 00:01:51,998 --> 00:01:53,597 after hours, eh Mrs. Sloakam? 46 00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:57,277 - We couldn't have a look at them at all, Captain Peacock. 47 00:01:57,277 --> 00:01:59,185 - Let him see that one of you in your bikini. 48 00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:00,852 - Oh no, Ms. Bronze. 49 00:02:07,773 --> 00:02:10,264 - I just don't care when I'm on the continent. 50 00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:17,212 I must say it's the first time I've ever seen 51 00:02:17,212 --> 00:02:20,378 anybody doing a cartwheel with an ice cream in both hands. 52 00:02:22,748 --> 00:02:25,081 - You've got it upside down. 53 00:02:27,728 --> 00:02:31,645 - Yes, I did think the sky was rather overcast. 54 00:02:33,391 --> 00:02:35,727 - I'd just been in the ice cream parlor, 55 00:02:35,727 --> 00:02:37,929 and I'd just come out. 56 00:02:37,929 --> 00:02:40,179 - Yes, you had, didn't you. 57 00:02:41,491 --> 00:02:42,900 - My boyfriend wants me to go on 58 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,178 those adventure holiday trips with him. 59 00:02:45,178 --> 00:02:46,636 - Oh that would have been very exciting. 60 00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:48,121 And where were you going, India? 61 00:02:48,121 --> 00:02:49,157 - Well, we never got that far 62 00:02:49,157 --> 00:02:51,826 because when I said I wanted separate sleeping bags, 63 00:02:51,826 --> 00:02:53,477 he went off the idea. 64 00:02:57,343 --> 00:03:00,418 - I think Mr. Mash is trying to attract our attention. 65 00:03:03,257 --> 00:03:05,079 - It's nine thirty, Captain. 66 00:03:05,079 --> 00:03:07,207 Do you mind if I bring my audible self 67 00:03:07,207 --> 00:03:08,579 on to the floor, Captain? 68 00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,236 In my dirty, scruffy overall, 69 00:03:10,236 --> 00:03:12,662 which you don't like the customers to see, sir? 70 00:03:12,662 --> 00:03:15,162 - You are permitted to come on the floor, Mash, 71 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,632 provided you have a good reason. 72 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,094 - I have. 73 00:03:19,094 --> 00:03:23,261 I've come to stick this up Mrs. Sloakam's corsets. 74 00:03:24,269 --> 00:03:26,063 - And about time, too. 75 00:03:28,356 --> 00:03:32,519 - It's for the Firm You Up Fat Fighter Control Corset. 76 00:03:32,519 --> 00:03:35,019 It's been here for three days. 77 00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:41,001 - It's a mystery to us all. 78 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,305 - There you are, Mrs. Sloakam. 79 00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:45,380 Your juice is one. 80 00:04:03,908 --> 00:04:07,501 - Well, I'm not having that there all day long, 81 00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:09,084 having indigestion. 82 00:04:10,798 --> 00:04:12,691 - It certainly would be more acceptable, 83 00:04:12,691 --> 00:04:15,747 if it didn't inflate quite so much. 84 00:04:15,747 --> 00:04:17,580 I mean, if it sort of. 85 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:33,027 - You haven't improved it, Captain Peacock. 86 00:04:33,027 --> 00:04:35,945 - Take it away, Mash. Take it away. 87 00:04:35,945 --> 00:04:37,953 - Mr. Humphrey, how did it come to pass 88 00:04:37,953 --> 00:04:41,668 that Mr. Lucas got the made to measure customer. 89 00:04:41,668 --> 00:04:42,922 - Well it was when you were away 90 00:04:42,922 --> 00:04:45,091 poorly with your back, Mr. Granger. 91 00:04:45,091 --> 00:04:47,601 I was fitting a gentleman for a pair of bathing shorts, 92 00:04:47,601 --> 00:04:49,286 and before I knew where I was, 93 00:04:49,286 --> 00:04:51,085 Mr. Lucas had taken them down. 94 00:04:53,775 --> 00:04:56,683 - No, the measurements for the made to measure. 95 00:04:56,683 --> 00:04:57,871 - Well I must do the fitting, 96 00:04:57,871 --> 00:05:00,472 so bring the pincushion and the chalk. 97 00:05:00,472 --> 00:05:01,935 - Yes, Mr. Granger. 98 00:05:07,054 --> 00:05:07,889 - Oh! 99 00:05:16,263 --> 00:05:19,027 - Yes, well, considering it's your first fitting, 100 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,527 they're very near. 101 00:05:22,283 --> 00:05:24,003 Have you put weight on, sir. 102 00:05:24,003 --> 00:05:25,628 - No, as a matter of fact I'm on a diet. 103 00:05:25,628 --> 00:05:27,967 - Ah yes, I remember you mentioned you were on a diet 104 00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:29,599 when I was measuring you, yes. 105 00:05:29,599 --> 00:05:31,205 So I allowed for it, you see. 106 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,686 Yes, another couple of months, 107 00:05:32,686 --> 00:05:35,075 they'll probably fit perfectly. 108 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,678 - Mr. Lucas, Mr. Granger's here to do the fitting. 109 00:05:37,678 --> 00:05:38,869 - Good morning, sir. 110 00:05:38,869 --> 00:05:39,939 - Good morning. 111 00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,439 - Yes, I see, yes. 112 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,199 It is a little snug, I think. 113 00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:46,532 Don't you agree? 114 00:05:48,357 --> 00:05:49,483 - Yes, it is rather snug. 115 00:05:52,947 --> 00:05:56,179 - That's because I've got my hand in the waistband. 116 00:05:56,179 --> 00:05:58,890 - Well, take it out, Mr. Lucas. 117 00:06:01,468 --> 00:06:02,301 Thank you. 118 00:06:03,462 --> 00:06:05,465 - Yes, let me see here. 119 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,107 Oh yes. 120 00:06:07,107 --> 00:06:08,365 Let out waist. 121 00:06:08,365 --> 00:06:09,698 - Let out waist. 122 00:06:10,997 --> 00:06:11,997 - Ease seat. 123 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,287 - Ah, the professional touch, Mr. Granger. 124 00:06:18,287 --> 00:06:21,231 - Couldn't have don't it better myself. 125 00:06:21,231 --> 00:06:24,213 - And I think the rise is a little short. 126 00:06:24,213 --> 00:06:28,242 - Yes, I was just thinking that Mr. Granger. 127 00:06:28,242 --> 00:06:29,813 - Lengthen rise. 128 00:06:29,813 --> 00:06:32,403 Lengthen rise. 129 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,390 - I think they're breaking a bit early, Mr. Granger. 130 00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:48,297 - And finishing rather late. 131 00:06:48,297 --> 00:06:50,033 - Mind you, it will be a lot better of course, 132 00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:52,673 when you're wearing shoes. 133 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,423 - I am wearing shoes. 134 00:06:55,294 --> 00:06:58,035 - Yes, well of course I rather saw you in high heels myself, 135 00:06:58,035 --> 00:06:59,210 didn't you Mr. Humphreys? 136 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,460 - I did, I did. 137 00:07:01,975 --> 00:07:03,675 - I think that we shall have to take 138 00:07:03,675 --> 00:07:05,312 a touch off the leg. 139 00:07:05,312 --> 00:07:09,151 - Allow me to chalk the leg, Mr. Granger. 140 00:07:09,151 --> 00:07:12,067 - We are just going to take a shaving off the leg, sir. 141 00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:14,544 - About eight inches. 142 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,594 - Ah yes, I'm sure you'll find the jacket 143 00:07:17,594 --> 00:07:18,564 to your liking, sir. 144 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,653 If you care to just slip your arms in there, 145 00:07:20,653 --> 00:07:21,718 that's it sir. 146 00:07:21,718 --> 00:07:24,028 There we are. There. 147 00:07:39,304 --> 00:07:40,304 - Mr. Lucas. 148 00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:43,658 Do you think you got the right jacket? 149 00:07:43,658 --> 00:07:44,741 - I think so. 150 00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:55,339 - Not quite as much as that. 151 00:07:55,339 --> 00:07:56,750 - There's plenty to let down. 152 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:02,548 - Yes, I hadn't thought of that. 153 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,902 - The 12 button look is quite the thing now, you know, sir. 154 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,152 - I think we'd better have new sleeves. 155 00:08:10,544 --> 00:08:14,246 - Yes, I think we'd better have new sleeves. 156 00:08:20,169 --> 00:08:23,204 I think this is yours, sir. 157 00:08:23,204 --> 00:08:25,625 - Don't worry about that sir, our repair department will 158 00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:28,163 tack that up for you before you leave. 159 00:08:28,163 --> 00:08:32,767 - Don't you find that it's much easier under the arm, sir? 160 00:08:32,767 --> 00:08:34,863 - Yes, yes, yes it is much. 161 00:08:34,863 --> 00:08:39,027 - Good, good, well we're on the right line. 162 00:08:39,027 --> 00:08:41,544 - These were taken on my holiday last year. 163 00:08:41,544 --> 00:08:43,720 - Oh, doesn't it look hot. 164 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,152 - Oh you're right, yes. 165 00:08:45,152 --> 00:08:47,158 Yes, that's the worst of the desert. 166 00:08:47,158 --> 00:08:49,003 - Doesn't Mrs. Peacock look well. 167 00:08:49,003 --> 00:08:50,773 - Yes, she does, yes. 168 00:08:50,773 --> 00:08:52,517 We went back to Bessamachu, 169 00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:54,386 where scored our first big victory. 170 00:08:54,386 --> 00:08:56,693 - Oh, that was where you had your honeymoon. 171 00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:02,933 - No, that was where we pushed Rommel back. 172 00:09:03,874 --> 00:09:06,520 I was dug in at this very spot 173 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,295 for about seven whole days. 174 00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:11,417 It's a motel now, you know. 175 00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,497 Oh it was absolute hell, you know. 176 00:09:13,497 --> 00:09:16,949 The heat, the sun, flies, the sandstorms, 177 00:09:16,949 --> 00:09:18,825 the monotonous food. 178 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:22,566 - Oh what you poor boys must have suffered. 179 00:09:22,566 --> 00:09:24,360 - No, that was last year at the motel. 180 00:09:27,627 --> 00:09:29,854 - Hope I'm not interrupting anything, Captain Peacock. 181 00:09:29,854 --> 00:09:32,164 - Now, he's just showing us his holiday pictures. 182 00:09:32,164 --> 00:09:33,272 - Well, perhaps we could look at those 183 00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:35,358 after the store closes. 184 00:09:35,358 --> 00:09:36,916 Now, I'd like a word with everybody 185 00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:38,308 if you could get them to gather round. 186 00:09:38,308 --> 00:09:39,592 - Yes, of course. 187 00:09:39,592 --> 00:09:40,983 - Thank you very much, sir. 188 00:09:40,983 --> 00:09:42,080 I'm glad that your satisfied with 189 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,155 this part of the suit anyway. 190 00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:47,798 And the rest of it will be ready a week on Tuesday. 191 00:09:47,798 --> 00:09:49,351 - I shall look forward to that. 192 00:09:49,351 --> 00:09:52,432 - Mr. Granger, Mr. Humphreys, Mr. Lucas, are you free. 193 00:09:52,432 --> 00:09:54,092 - Yes, I'm free. 194 00:09:54,092 --> 00:09:54,925 - I'm free. 195 00:09:54,925 --> 00:09:55,842 - I'm free. 196 00:09:56,905 --> 00:09:59,905 - Mrs. Sloakam, gather round please. 197 00:10:01,961 --> 00:10:03,951 - Now, I've just come from a board meeting 198 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,677 which we held in the board room 199 00:10:05,677 --> 00:10:09,225 with regard to the redecoration of the store. 200 00:10:09,225 --> 00:10:12,228 Rather than disrupt sales for weeks on end, 201 00:10:12,228 --> 00:10:14,175 we have decided to close the store 202 00:10:14,175 --> 00:10:16,455 for the first two weeks in August. 203 00:10:16,455 --> 00:10:19,137 I feel sure you'll agree this is an excellent decision. 204 00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:21,979 - Does that mean we get two weeks extra holiday? 205 00:10:21,979 --> 00:10:24,625 - No, the board hopes that you will take your holiday 206 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,562 to coincide with this. 207 00:10:26,562 --> 00:10:28,738 - But I can't possible go to Little Hampton 208 00:10:28,738 --> 00:10:31,271 for the first two weeks in August. 209 00:10:31,271 --> 00:10:32,833 I mean, the place is full of trippers, 210 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,986 and Mrs. Featherston would never be able 211 00:10:34,986 --> 00:10:36,403 to squeeze me in. 212 00:10:38,523 --> 00:10:42,080 - The Isle of Capri will be an absolute nightmare in August. 213 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,457 I've heard that Gracie goes somewhere else. 214 00:10:45,457 --> 00:10:48,224 - Yes, well we did realize that there would be hardships. 215 00:10:48,224 --> 00:10:50,092 I have therefore recommend the payment 216 00:10:50,092 --> 00:10:53,925 of inconvenience money of five pound per head. 217 00:10:54,893 --> 00:10:55,973 - Per day. 218 00:10:55,973 --> 00:10:57,299 - No, for the fortnight. 219 00:10:59,457 --> 00:11:03,096 - Inconvenience money, five pounds for a fortnight? 220 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:06,096 - That's not even convenience money. 221 00:11:07,674 --> 00:11:09,518 - It certainly won't make up to me 222 00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:11,487 for being on a camel in the desert 223 00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:16,316 when all the sheiks are on their yachts in the Caribbeano. 224 00:11:16,316 --> 00:11:18,360 - It doesn't fit in with my plans at all. 225 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:22,603 I had reserved a holiday on the island of Levant. 226 00:11:24,004 --> 00:11:25,919 That's a nudist colony. 227 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,243 - Nature camp. 228 00:11:27,243 --> 00:11:29,118 - Oh, Captain Peacock. 229 00:11:29,118 --> 00:11:30,804 That wasn't you sawing down that tree 230 00:11:30,804 --> 00:11:34,669 in last month's Health and Efficiency, was it? 231 00:11:34,669 --> 00:11:36,507 - No, it was not. 232 00:11:36,507 --> 00:11:38,412 - If I cancel now, Mrs. Featherston 233 00:11:38,412 --> 00:11:41,329 will have me blacklist by the LHLA. 234 00:11:46,159 --> 00:11:49,909 - The Little Hamptons Landladies Association. 235 00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:53,339 - Oh, the disgrace. 236 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:57,456 - Needless to say, it's not very convenience for me either. 237 00:11:57,456 --> 00:12:01,010 I had aimed to go to Monte Carlo, try my hand at the tables. 238 00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:04,927 - Don't they need waiters any time of the year? 239 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:09,536 - I think I speak for all of us when I say 240 00:12:09,536 --> 00:12:12,560 that we would ask the board to reconsider their decision. 241 00:12:14,989 --> 00:12:17,430 - Yes, it is his last word. 242 00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:19,747 - I'm surprised at you, Captain Peacock. 243 00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:21,814 - There comes a time, Mr. Rumbolt, 244 00:12:21,814 --> 00:12:25,067 when any man who is a man must stand up to be counted. 245 00:12:25,067 --> 00:12:25,900 - One. 246 00:12:28,741 --> 00:12:30,819 - You have my support, Steven. 247 00:12:30,819 --> 00:12:31,765 - And mine. 248 00:12:31,765 --> 00:12:33,487 - I'm right behind you, Captain Peacock. 249 00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:36,609 - I'm right behind you, Mr. Lucas. 250 00:12:36,609 --> 00:12:40,359 - I'd rather you were behind Captain Peacock. 251 00:12:43,089 --> 00:12:45,225 - To be sure, it is a beautiful color. 252 00:12:45,225 --> 00:12:48,247 - Oh yes, that shamrock green goes so well 253 00:12:48,247 --> 00:12:49,972 with madam's eyes. 254 00:12:49,972 --> 00:12:52,124 - It's the blarney you're giving me. 255 00:12:52,124 --> 00:12:53,654 But I'll take it all the same. 256 00:12:55,439 --> 00:12:56,714 - Certainly. 257 00:12:56,714 --> 00:13:01,030 Will it be after going on madam's account? 258 00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:03,884 - Oh, I was looking for a dressing gown. 259 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,116 - Certainly sir. 260 00:13:05,116 --> 00:13:07,601 Mr. Humphreys, are you free? 261 00:13:07,601 --> 00:13:08,766 - Yes, I'm free. 262 00:13:08,766 --> 00:13:09,803 - This customer would like to see 263 00:13:09,803 --> 00:13:11,267 what you have in dressing gowns. 264 00:13:11,267 --> 00:13:12,434 - Certainly, Captain Peacock. 265 00:13:12,434 --> 00:13:13,267 Good morning, sir. 266 00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:14,100 - Good morning. 267 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:14,933 - Would you like to see what I've got 268 00:13:14,933 --> 00:13:17,631 in long ones or short ones? 269 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,338 - Well, I'd like something that 270 00:13:19,338 --> 00:13:21,088 hangs to about there. 271 00:13:23,085 --> 00:13:25,418 - Yes, they're very popular. 272 00:13:26,641 --> 00:13:29,921 Mr. Lucas, Mr. Lucas, are you free? 273 00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:32,094 - I'm free, Mr. Humphreys. 274 00:13:32,094 --> 00:13:33,369 - The customer would like a dressing gown. 275 00:13:33,369 --> 00:13:34,267 Bring the rail. 276 00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:35,742 - One rail coming up, Mr. Humphreys. 277 00:13:35,742 --> 00:13:37,342 - Now sir, we got Turkish towel, terry towel, 278 00:13:37,342 --> 00:13:40,120 terralin and wool, short length, calf length, 279 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,470 slim fit or full, 280 00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:45,637 all on, band lung, shangton silk or simulated seersucker. 281 00:13:50,617 --> 00:13:53,176 - I'd rather show you. 282 00:13:53,176 --> 00:13:55,343 - One rail, Mr. Humphreys. 283 00:13:56,296 --> 00:13:57,540 Good morning sir, could I take your coat sir? 284 00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:59,333 - Yes, thank you, thank you, yes. 285 00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:01,582 - Now sir, how about something like this. 286 00:14:01,582 --> 00:14:04,165 This is from our Kung-fu range. 287 00:14:06,511 --> 00:14:08,631 Quite a little relaxing thing it is, 288 00:14:08,631 --> 00:14:11,570 plenty of room under the arms for movement. 289 00:14:11,570 --> 00:14:14,127 I get quite carried away when I put one of. 290 00:14:21,976 --> 00:14:25,726 So sorry sir, I don't know what came over me. 291 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,137 - I don't think it's quite me. 292 00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:29,589 - No, no. 293 00:14:29,589 --> 00:14:30,863 If they send aftershave lotion, 294 00:14:30,863 --> 00:14:34,408 you could do yourself a mischief. 295 00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:37,163 What about this sir? I call this one the Nanny. 296 00:14:37,163 --> 00:14:39,434 - Oh, yes, it's a beautiful blue. 297 00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:41,831 - Yes, but it hasn't a hood. 298 00:14:41,831 --> 00:14:43,313 - I hadn't really thought about a hood, 299 00:14:43,313 --> 00:14:44,969 that would rather, 300 00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:46,321 would be rather nice. 301 00:14:46,321 --> 00:14:50,113 - In that case sir, you want our Christopher Robin range. 302 00:14:50,113 --> 00:14:51,900 These are very popular, we've sold a lot of these, 303 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:52,896 haven't we Mr. Lucas? 304 00:14:52,896 --> 00:14:54,346 - Oh yes, we've sold a lot of these Mr. Humphreys, yes. 305 00:14:54,346 --> 00:14:56,442 - Matter of fact, I have one myself. 306 00:14:56,442 --> 00:15:00,547 I lie in bed and I pull the hood right over my head. 307 00:15:00,547 --> 00:15:03,010 ♫ And close your eyes and curl up small 308 00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:06,451 ♫ And nobody knows you're there at all 309 00:15:06,451 --> 00:15:08,768 - Dont go on, Mr. Lucas. 310 00:15:08,768 --> 00:15:10,566 - God bless you, Father. 311 00:15:18,773 --> 00:15:20,392 - Enter. 312 00:15:20,392 --> 00:15:23,286 - Mr. Rumbolt, have the higher-ups 313 00:15:23,286 --> 00:15:26,190 come to decision about the holidays, then? 314 00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:27,281 - Well if you'd like to stay, 315 00:15:27,281 --> 00:15:29,579 I've called a meeting to give a ruling. 316 00:15:29,579 --> 00:15:30,857 - 'Cause I've been on the blower, 317 00:15:30,857 --> 00:15:33,265 and I can't cancel the Seashells. 318 00:15:35,138 --> 00:15:38,805 - No, no. The Seashells in the Indian Ocean. 319 00:15:39,871 --> 00:15:41,908 - Seems a long way to go for someone in your position. 320 00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:42,936 - I've got this urge for some of them 321 00:15:42,936 --> 00:15:45,265 native girls with grass skirts. 322 00:15:45,265 --> 00:15:46,098 Ha-hey. 323 00:15:48,523 --> 00:15:49,876 - Indeed. 324 00:15:49,876 --> 00:15:54,610 - I'm leaving the wife and taking the lawnmower. 325 00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:55,443 Get it? 326 00:15:56,421 --> 00:15:58,292 Grass skirt, lawnmower. 327 00:15:58,292 --> 00:15:59,209 Oh, blimey. 328 00:16:02,277 --> 00:16:05,909 Here, now look at that. Now that's the hotel, see. 329 00:16:05,909 --> 00:16:08,742 And here is a typical native girl 330 00:16:08,742 --> 00:16:11,061 sitting under a palm tree, see. 331 00:16:11,061 --> 00:16:14,791 I bet you've never seen coconuts that size have you, eh? 332 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:16,553 - Enter. 333 00:16:18,331 --> 00:16:21,027 - Oh Mr. Rumbolt, I hope this isn't going to take long. 334 00:16:21,027 --> 00:16:24,254 My pussy's been locked up for eight hours, 335 00:16:24,254 --> 00:16:27,603 and I'm afraid it's just not convenient. 336 00:16:27,603 --> 00:16:31,038 - And I've gotta be back in time for Top of the Pops. 337 00:16:32,584 --> 00:16:34,246 - No, but someone has to hold me mum back 338 00:16:34,246 --> 00:16:36,496 when Gary Glitter comes on. 339 00:16:39,429 --> 00:16:41,679 - No, she kicks the settee. 340 00:16:42,623 --> 00:16:44,956 - Come in and shut the door. 341 00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:52,783 Now, before I begin, have you reconsidered your decision 342 00:16:52,783 --> 00:16:56,194 not to help Grace Brothers over this difficult period? 343 00:16:56,194 --> 00:16:59,570 Are you determined to reject the board's generous offer? 344 00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,679 - Perhaps, as senior staff member, 345 00:17:01,679 --> 00:17:03,160 I should be spokesman? 346 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,636 - Carry on, Steven. 347 00:17:04,636 --> 00:17:06,303 - Yes, you carry on. 348 00:17:08,016 --> 00:17:10,908 - Would you like our feeling in a nutshell, Mr. Rumbolt? 349 00:17:10,908 --> 00:17:12,075 - Please, yes. 350 00:17:12,075 --> 00:17:13,808 - It's not on. 351 00:17:13,808 --> 00:17:15,188 - I see. 352 00:17:15,188 --> 00:17:17,244 - You'll have to up the ante, Mr. Rumbolt. 353 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,903 I mean, five pounds goes nowhere. 354 00:17:18,903 --> 00:17:21,204 A loaf of bread costs three shillings. 355 00:17:21,204 --> 00:17:23,629 Five pounds is only 35 loaves. 356 00:17:23,629 --> 00:17:27,510 - And where can you go on holiday for 35 loaves? 357 00:17:27,510 --> 00:17:30,593 - It doesn't buy much crumpet either. 358 00:17:31,744 --> 00:17:33,897 - I don't get the enjoyment out of it 359 00:17:33,897 --> 00:17:36,064 I used to in the old days. 360 00:17:40,968 --> 00:17:42,301 - No, the bread. 361 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:48,559 - I think it's possible we may be veering from the point. 362 00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:51,488 As I understand it, you are not accepting this offer, 363 00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:52,731 is that right? 364 00:17:52,731 --> 00:17:55,898 - Speaking for myself, I am unanimous. 365 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,411 - Nevertheless, the store does have to close 366 00:18:00,411 --> 00:18:02,194 for those two weeks. 367 00:18:02,194 --> 00:18:04,347 However, young Mr. Grace did anticipate 368 00:18:04,347 --> 00:18:06,886 that the wind might blow in that direction, 369 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,943 and so he is prepared to make what I consider 370 00:18:08,943 --> 00:18:11,087 to be an even more generous offer. 371 00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:13,832 He will pay for us to have a holiday in the sun, 372 00:18:13,832 --> 00:18:18,667 provided we agree to take it during the said two weeks. 373 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:24,723 - Well, Mr. Grace does happen to own Grace Air Tours, 374 00:18:24,723 --> 00:18:27,638 and Grace Made to Measure Continental Holidays. 375 00:18:27,638 --> 00:18:30,407 - That does sound a much more generous offer. 376 00:18:32,616 --> 00:18:34,677 - Well, no, that would hardly be fair. 377 00:18:34,677 --> 00:18:36,409 We all have to go to the same place. 378 00:18:36,409 --> 00:18:39,312 That's how these charter holidays work. 379 00:18:39,312 --> 00:18:42,622 - Well I vote we all go to Captain Peacock's Isle of Levant. 380 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:43,556 I wonder what the money we'll save, 381 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:46,956 all we need is a pair of dark sunglasses. 382 00:18:46,956 --> 00:18:49,741 - Oh Mr. Lucas, you're not expecting me to go 383 00:18:49,741 --> 00:18:53,228 walking along the beach in my birthday suit. 384 00:18:53,228 --> 00:18:55,145 - Very dark sunglasses. 385 00:18:56,990 --> 00:18:59,686 - Well now, Mr. Grace has given us the choice 386 00:18:59,686 --> 00:19:01,627 of five resorts. 387 00:19:03,721 --> 00:19:06,736 - Well I've had some slides prepared, 388 00:19:06,736 --> 00:19:08,550 so we can all have a look through them 389 00:19:08,550 --> 00:19:09,941 and then take a vote, if you'd like to 390 00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,673 assemble in the boardroom. 391 00:19:11,673 --> 00:19:12,625 The boardroom? 392 00:19:12,625 --> 00:19:14,625 - I've never been there. 393 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,112 - There's nobody here. 394 00:19:32,112 --> 00:19:33,612 We'd better go in. 395 00:19:46,858 --> 00:19:49,561 - You know, this is a great moment for me. 396 00:19:49,561 --> 00:19:52,381 I've been 37 years at Grace Brothers, 397 00:19:52,381 --> 00:19:53,472 and this is the first time 398 00:19:53,472 --> 00:19:56,198 that I've been in the board room. 399 00:19:56,198 --> 00:19:58,793 - Oh look, they've got a cocktail cabinet. 400 00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:00,626 It's tough at the top. 401 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:03,433 And dry. 402 00:20:06,975 --> 00:20:08,851 - Buy Harrods, sell John Lewis's. 403 00:20:10,171 --> 00:20:11,969 - Stop that, Lucas. 404 00:20:11,969 --> 00:20:14,118 - Cancel that order. 405 00:20:14,118 --> 00:20:17,128 - Why do you think he'd have an old barrow in here? 406 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:19,179 - Oh yes, that's the original barrow 407 00:20:19,179 --> 00:20:20,679 that young Mr. Grace used 408 00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:23,401 when he was selling fish in the marketplace. 409 00:20:23,401 --> 00:20:25,454 - Mm, and the memory lingers on. 410 00:20:27,111 --> 00:20:29,426 - Well now, let us all seat ourselves, shall we? 411 00:20:29,426 --> 00:20:30,259 - Alright. 412 00:20:36,759 --> 00:20:40,533 - There's no need for us to be overawed by the occasion. 413 00:20:40,533 --> 00:20:44,222 After all, boardrooms are the same the whole world over. 414 00:20:56,096 --> 00:20:57,513 That's the phone. 415 00:20:59,121 --> 00:21:01,719 - Right first time, Captain Peacock. 416 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:04,302 - It'll be somebody ringing up. 417 00:21:14,752 --> 00:21:18,255 - Perhaps it's Harrods ringing back. 418 00:21:18,255 --> 00:21:19,872 - Well somebody ought to answer it. 419 00:21:19,872 --> 00:21:20,985 I mean it's no good sitting here 420 00:21:20,985 --> 00:21:23,742 like a lot of stuffed dummies. 421 00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:27,291 - You've been here the longest Ernest. 422 00:21:27,291 --> 00:21:30,374 - Yes, but you're the senior, Steven. 423 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,863 - Hu Flungs Chinese Restaurant. 424 00:21:42,483 --> 00:21:43,657 Hang on. 425 00:21:43,657 --> 00:21:47,191 It's for you, Captain Peacock, it's Rumbolt's secretary. 426 00:21:49,028 --> 00:21:52,057 I can't hear you very well. 427 00:21:52,057 --> 00:21:55,595 - Stop playing with the phone, Captain Peacock. 428 00:21:55,595 --> 00:21:57,579 - It's your secretary, sir. 429 00:22:00,731 --> 00:22:04,281 Apparently you're on your way up to the boardroom, sir. 430 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:06,551 - But this is the boardroom. 431 00:22:06,551 --> 00:22:08,753 - That had occurred to me, sir. 432 00:22:08,753 --> 00:22:10,951 - Well then stop wasting time. 433 00:22:10,951 --> 00:22:14,153 - Mr. Rumbolt says stop wasting time. 434 00:22:14,153 --> 00:22:15,986 I couldn't agree more. 435 00:22:20,532 --> 00:22:23,652 - Well now, I have the slides here. 436 00:22:23,652 --> 00:22:25,701 So, we'll just run through them and we can chose 437 00:22:25,701 --> 00:22:27,422 where to go by a show of hands. 438 00:22:27,422 --> 00:22:30,082 Mr. Mash, could you reduce the lights please? 439 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:32,729 Certainly, Mr. Rumbolt. 440 00:22:32,729 --> 00:22:36,896 - Now first, we have Torremolinos in the Costa del Sol, 441 00:22:37,751 --> 00:22:40,151 which of course is in Spain. 442 00:22:40,151 --> 00:22:42,699 That's not bad, is it? 443 00:22:42,699 --> 00:22:44,981 - Golden sand, beaches lapped by the 444 00:22:44,981 --> 00:22:47,519 clear tepid waters of the Mediterranean, 445 00:22:47,519 --> 00:22:50,140 and in the background the magnificent purple hills 446 00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:51,777 of the majestic sierra rise 447 00:22:51,777 --> 00:22:55,071 tier upon tier into the blue bright sky 448 00:22:55,071 --> 00:22:57,854 while nature deftly mixes semi-tropical 449 00:22:57,854 --> 00:23:02,021 multi-hued flowers and plants in a carnival of color. 450 00:23:03,986 --> 00:23:05,653 - Sounds quite nice. 451 00:23:08,795 --> 00:23:13,260 - After dark, it vibrates to the tune lively nightclubs 452 00:23:13,260 --> 00:23:15,710 and open air gay cafes. 453 00:23:15,710 --> 00:23:17,043 - Oh, I like it. 454 00:23:19,188 --> 00:23:22,732 - Activities include tennis and golf 455 00:23:22,732 --> 00:23:25,211 at the nearby Campo de Sport. 456 00:23:25,211 --> 00:23:27,044 - I like it even more. 457 00:23:28,328 --> 00:23:32,161 - This is the Hotel Royale Meditterani Palace. 458 00:23:33,252 --> 00:23:34,085 - Indeed. 459 00:23:35,799 --> 00:23:38,549 - Extensively modernized in 1948, 460 00:23:41,351 --> 00:23:43,833 it is now under the experienced management 461 00:23:43,833 --> 00:23:46,833 of friendly Don Pedro Alvarez Cohen. 462 00:23:51,609 --> 00:23:55,776 Situated a picturesque ten minute amble from the sea, 463 00:23:56,784 --> 00:24:01,522 it features the sophisticated Calypso Gourmet Grill 464 00:24:01,522 --> 00:24:03,022 and nightly bingo. 465 00:24:04,338 --> 00:24:06,760 - Nightly bingo is hardly my cup of tea. 466 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,915 - Nor mine, Steven. 467 00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:11,582 - Let's have a look at Portugal. 468 00:24:12,444 --> 00:24:14,776 - Monte Listerone. 469 00:24:14,776 --> 00:24:18,947 Once the playground of the international set, 470 00:24:18,947 --> 00:24:22,712 home of deposed kings and the idle rich. 471 00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:24,880 Idle rich? 472 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,733 Soft yellow, pink, and green houses 473 00:24:27,733 --> 00:24:31,600 set off the grace of the old churches, 474 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,712 while above the mysterious cobbled lanes, 475 00:24:34,712 --> 00:24:38,045 lines of drying washing wave like flags. 476 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,567 - Sounds like Accrington. 477 00:24:43,894 --> 00:24:47,632 - Only a short donkey ride outside the town, 478 00:24:47,632 --> 00:24:51,049 we find the Hotel Tegas Excelsior Palace. 479 00:24:52,984 --> 00:24:56,067 To this very pleasant one star hotel, 480 00:24:57,110 --> 00:24:59,890 two further floors have been added 481 00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:02,406 which are not shown in the photograph. 482 00:25:02,406 --> 00:25:05,922 - You certainly have to use your imagination, don't you? 483 00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:08,121 - The cocktail bar of the roof restaurant 484 00:25:08,121 --> 00:25:10,080 provides the ideal atmosphere for 485 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,261 a sophisticated tete-a-tete, 486 00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:14,607 and adjoins the children's paddling pool, 487 00:25:14,607 --> 00:25:18,592 rollerskating rink, hot dog stand, and crazy golf. 488 00:25:18,592 --> 00:25:19,512 - Nothing that I like more than 489 00:25:19,512 --> 00:25:23,345 a tete-a-tete with a golf ball and a cocktail. 490 00:25:24,393 --> 00:25:27,807 - Well at any rate, they don't have bingo. 491 00:25:32,415 --> 00:25:34,981 - Can I put it to you this way, Mrs. Sloakam? 492 00:25:34,981 --> 00:25:38,134 There is no such thing as a no star hotel. 493 00:25:39,798 --> 00:25:44,143 - Let's take our magic carpet to tantalizing Tunisia. 494 00:25:44,143 --> 00:25:46,893 This is the view from your hotel. 495 00:25:51,414 --> 00:25:55,838 Note the burnished sands, the clear blue water 496 00:25:55,838 --> 00:25:58,029 is a mere 50 minutes away. 497 00:26:00,573 --> 00:26:04,740 - The unspoilt coastline presents a paradise of tranquility. 498 00:26:05,672 --> 00:26:08,672 Only 40 miles away is City Bel-Guli. 499 00:26:12,257 --> 00:26:15,643 Famous for it's pottery and wrought-iron work, 500 00:26:15,643 --> 00:26:18,504 a much favored excursion point. 501 00:26:18,504 --> 00:26:20,718 - Well I'm not going to travel 40 miles 502 00:26:20,718 --> 00:26:23,885 in a smelly bus in order to see a pot. 503 00:26:25,799 --> 00:26:27,882 - Hotel Gaza Guli Palace. 504 00:26:32,532 --> 00:26:33,470 What, you mean that fellow 505 00:26:33,470 --> 00:26:35,838 looks like Peter O'Toole? 506 00:26:37,692 --> 00:26:38,525 - Yeah. 507 00:26:38,525 --> 00:26:40,442 - They've got mendosis. 508 00:26:45,302 --> 00:26:47,141 - Belly dancing and sword swallowing 509 00:26:47,141 --> 00:26:48,960 are a nightly attraction for the diners 510 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,712 as they sit cross legged on their jiboes, 511 00:26:51,712 --> 00:26:53,962 toying with their couscous. 512 00:26:56,590 --> 00:26:59,894 I think a jiboe must be some sort of cushion. 513 00:26:59,894 --> 00:27:01,385 - I was going to ask you about that. 514 00:27:10,072 --> 00:27:13,239 - It's an arabic sago-ey sort of dish. 515 00:27:14,454 --> 00:27:18,037 You eat if with the cut off ear of a sheep. 516 00:27:20,050 --> 00:27:22,488 - Well I'm not sitting on my jiboe 517 00:27:22,488 --> 00:27:26,655 in a Foreign Legion fort, toying with me couscous. 518 00:27:29,706 --> 00:27:32,289 Not even with a knife and fork. 519 00:27:34,004 --> 00:27:37,237 - I thought it sounded rather fun. 520 00:27:37,237 --> 00:27:38,620 - Lights, Mr. Mash. 521 00:27:38,620 --> 00:27:40,343 - Lights, Mr. Rumbolt. 522 00:27:40,343 --> 00:27:43,757 - Well, I'm afraid I must say Mr. Rumbolt, 523 00:27:43,757 --> 00:27:46,266 I find these places no substitute 524 00:27:46,266 --> 00:27:48,808 for a holiday in the Isle of Levant. 525 00:27:48,808 --> 00:27:51,187 - They're no substitute for my holiday either. 526 00:27:51,187 --> 00:27:53,444 - Certainly not a substitute for the Isle of Capri. 527 00:27:53,444 --> 00:27:57,611 - They're not even a substitute for Mrs. Featherston's. 528 00:27:58,496 --> 00:28:00,112 - I'm sorry I'm late. 529 00:28:00,112 --> 00:28:02,779 Good evening, Mr. Grace. 530 00:28:05,674 --> 00:28:09,649 - It's nice to see so many new faces on the board. 531 00:28:12,886 --> 00:28:15,204 - This is not the board, Mr. Grace. 532 00:28:15,204 --> 00:28:17,908 - We've been discussing your very generous offer 533 00:28:17,908 --> 00:28:20,402 of a package holiday. 534 00:28:20,402 --> 00:28:22,631 I'm sorry to have to inform you that Captain Peacock 535 00:28:22,631 --> 00:28:25,084 has seen fit to turn it down flat. 536 00:28:25,084 --> 00:28:28,130 - I was only voicing the views of my colleagues, Mr. Grace. 537 00:28:28,130 --> 00:28:32,341 - In that case, you'd better have the money. 538 00:28:32,341 --> 00:28:35,038 I'll give you 50 pounds each, 539 00:28:35,038 --> 00:28:38,110 and you make your own arrangement. 540 00:28:39,891 --> 00:28:41,411 - I trust you're not going to turn that down, 541 00:28:41,411 --> 00:28:42,646 Captain Peacock. 542 00:28:42,646 --> 00:28:47,432 - Certainly not sir, that sounds most acceptable to me. 543 00:28:47,432 --> 00:28:48,709 - That's settled. 544 00:28:48,709 --> 00:28:49,999 - Thank you Mr. Grace. 545 00:28:49,999 --> 00:28:53,385 - Oh yes, there's just one thing. 546 00:28:53,385 --> 00:28:56,204 The decorators can't make August, 547 00:28:56,204 --> 00:29:00,371 so you'll have to take the last two weeks in November. 548 00:29:01,666 --> 00:29:03,669 Last two weeks in November? 549 00:29:03,669 --> 00:29:05,927 - Where can you go in November? It's out of season. 550 00:29:05,927 --> 00:29:07,390 - Oh no, it's alright. 551 00:29:07,390 --> 00:29:11,672 You can all come and stay at Mrs. Featherston's. 552 00:29:11,672 --> 00:29:13,679 I have a photograph here. 553 00:29:13,679 --> 00:29:15,450 - Well, there's one consolation. 554 00:29:15,450 --> 00:29:16,635 If we all go to Mrs. Featherston's, 555 00:29:16,635 --> 00:29:19,428 we won't have to go 40 miles to find a pot there. 556 00:29:25,358 --> 00:29:26,650 ♫Ground floor perfumery, 557 00:29:26,650 --> 00:29:28,070 ♫stationery and leather goods, 558 00:29:28,070 --> 00:29:29,484 ♫wigs and haberdashery 559 00:29:29,484 --> 00:29:33,567 ♫ kitchenware and food, going up 560 00:29:37,111 --> 00:29:38,294 ♫ First floor telephones, 561 00:29:38,294 --> 00:29:39,888 ♫ gents ready-made suits, 562 00:29:39,888 --> 00:29:41,347 ♫ shirts, socks, ties, hats, 563 00:29:41,347 --> 00:29:45,347 ♫ underwear and shoes, going up 564 00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:49,823 ♫ Second floor carpets, 565 00:29:49,823 --> 00:29:51,242 ♫ travel goods and bedding, 566 00:29:51,242 --> 00:29:52,996 ♫ material, soft furnishings, 567 00:29:52,996 --> 00:29:54,212 ♫ restaurant and teas 568 00:29:54,212 --> 00:29:56,712 ♫ Going down!