1 00:00:21,690 --> 00:00:22,910 What's this thing we're going on again? 2 00:00:23,430 --> 00:00:25,510 Theatre trip, innit? It's going to be well good. 3 00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:27,690 No, I think it's going to be boring. 4 00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:29,650 I reckon it might be all right, you know. 5 00:00:30,050 --> 00:00:31,050 Yeah, it'd be a laugh, wouldn't it? 6 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:33,940 I do, because I ain't got my pass with me. 7 00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:36,680 No, we're getting a coach, innit? How embarrassing is that? 8 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,440 No, a coach would be a laugh, man. 9 00:00:38,860 --> 00:00:39,980 Yeah, it'd be all right, wouldn't it? 10 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,720 I forgot to tell you. Do you know who I saw yesterday? 11 00:00:44,180 --> 00:00:45,540 Oh, my God, what is she wearing? 12 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,940 What is she wearing? I ain't walking down the street if I'm looking like 13 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,040 That is well shameful. 14 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:52,460 How are we all? 15 00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:54,400 Looking forward to a slice of culture. 16 00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:59,380 Me? We're all in for a treat today. Me? I'm going to give you your ticket now. 17 00:00:59,740 --> 00:01:02,080 Me? I want you to look after them. Me? 18 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,060 And don't lose them. Yes, Lauren? 19 00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:08,000 Miss, I'm not being funny or nothing, but have you seen what you've got on? 20 00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:12,260 Are you suggesting I don't know what I'm wearing, Lauren? 21 00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:15,060 I don't know, Miss. I thought maybe someone had thrown it at you or 22 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,800 Well, I think it's nice to make an effort once in a while. 23 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,280 No, I don't think it is me. 24 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,860 Now, the coach is parked by the main gate. 25 00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:28,140 Are you going out on the street like that, me? Gather up all your belongings. 26 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,760 But are you going out on the street looking like that, though? 27 00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:32,100 Yes, Lauren. 28 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,260 Oh, my God, what have you got on your feet? 29 00:01:35,260 --> 00:01:36,440 I'm too scared to look. 30 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,820 Look at them now, Jesus creepers. 31 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,900 That is well bad. 32 00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:44,420 I think it's nice to let your feet breathe. 33 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,100 Are you a Christian, miss? 34 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,740 Lauren, get your things together. 35 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,060 Are you a Christian, though? We don't have time for this. Right, but are you a 36 00:01:52,060 --> 00:01:55,200 Christian? Lauren, is the Lord your shepherd, miss? Sorry? 37 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,820 But is he your shepherd, though? I beg your pardon? 38 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:00,880 Have you got Jesus in your heart, ma 'am? What? 39 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:02,780 Is he in your heart, though? Lauren! 40 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,440 Why are you so close like that, then? 41 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,340 Lauren! You luckily preached with me. 42 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,419 Lauren. Are you the vicar of Dibley, ma 'am? 43 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:10,880 Lauren! 44 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,280 But are you the vicar of Dibley, though? 45 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:13,520 No, of course not. 46 00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:14,580 Are we your flock? 47 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:18,260 What? Are we your flock, though? No. Is it that we are your flock? No, you're 48 00:02:18,260 --> 00:02:19,219 not my flock. 49 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,640 Have you got a friend in Jesus, ma 'am? Oh, for goodness sake! 50 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,320 Does he want you for a sunbeam? Look! 51 00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:25,040 Does he want you for a sunbeam, though? 52 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:26,980 Lauren, enough. 53 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:30,500 You're just wasting time now, not to mention being incredibly rude to me. 54 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,320 Now get your things together, or I shall suspend you from this trip. 55 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,500 Am I bothered? 56 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,520 Lauren, am I bothered, though? Look, don't make me do this. I ain't doing 57 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,800 nothing, cos I ain't bothered. You'll regret this. No, I won't, cos I ain't 58 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,700 bothered. I mean what I say. Do I look bothered? 59 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,480 I don't understand why you do this. 60 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,100 I don't understand why you wear that. 61 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,980 Don't give me. Come on. Don't give my. Now come on. Don't care my. Lauren. 62 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,239 Don't give my. 63 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,920 Lauren. Don't give my. Lauren. Stop it. I'll forget. 64 00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:04,198 I'll forget. 65 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:08,000 Lauren. Stop it. Don't give my. Lauren. Don't give. Stop it. Don't give. Come 66 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,060 on. Don't give. Stop it. I love it. I don't care. 67 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,500 You can sit there and get comfortable. It's going to be a very long afternoon. 68 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:40,040 I'm above a diet. Not another word! 69 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:45,720 Right. Well, I don't think that would be too bad. I think a course of 70 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,760 antibiotics should clear that up within about a week. 71 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,200 Well, yes, you see, I'm a very sensitive doctor. 72 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:53,020 I have to be very careful what I put in my mail. 73 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:55,480 Right. 74 00:03:56,740 --> 00:03:57,740 How's your mother, Derek? 75 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,000 Are you still living at home? 76 00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:02,850 She's very well, thank you, Doctor, and yes, I'm still there. 77 00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:05,630 Couldn't leave her on her own, not at her age, dear. 78 00:04:07,390 --> 00:04:13,650 Oh, Derek, I saved you one of these leaflets. The surgery's starting a new 79 00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:16,089 men's health clinic on the first Monday of every month. 80 00:04:16,410 --> 00:04:18,209 I don't know if that's something that would interest you. 81 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:20,050 I beg pardon? 82 00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:25,330 It's a new health clinic on Mondays. Yes, I heard that bit. 83 00:04:25,810 --> 00:04:26,810 For gay men. 84 00:04:29,930 --> 00:04:31,170 How very day. 85 00:04:32,150 --> 00:04:34,090 Never being so insulted. 86 00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:37,870 Derek, everything said here is completely confidential. 87 00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:42,030 What on earth are you insinuating? 88 00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:49,030 I'm sorry, Derek. I didn't mean to speak out of turn. I just always assumed you 89 00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:49,849 were gay. 90 00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:51,710 Gay, dear? Who dear? Me, dear? No, dear. 91 00:04:52,490 --> 00:04:56,070 Just because I live with my mother and haven't found the right girl yet, you 92 00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:57,870 assume I take it up the ary. 93 00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:01,910 Very day. 94 00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:07,630 I apologise unreservedly. Well, yes, I think you should. 95 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:11,490 25 years I've been coming here and then you suddenly come out with this. 96 00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:13,410 Well, I find you impertinent. 97 00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:16,310 Gay men's health clinic. 98 00:05:17,510 --> 00:05:19,470 How very day. 99 00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:26,790 Derek, you're, um... It's a gentleman's sponge bag. 100 00:05:29,870 --> 00:05:31,030 Come on, Leonard, wear off. 101 00:05:35,590 --> 00:05:38,970 A cup of tea? 102 00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:43,230 Milk and sugar? 103 00:05:46,690 --> 00:05:47,690 OK. 104 00:05:48,190 --> 00:05:49,470 We've taken a full statement. 105 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:54,570 And in the light of the information you've given her, I don't feel it's safe 106 00:05:54,570 --> 00:05:55,570 you to go back home. 107 00:05:56,030 --> 00:05:58,350 I'm recommending we take you to a refuge. 108 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,180 Where there's other people like yourself. 109 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,500 Other people like myself. 110 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:04,660 Is that your answer? 111 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,960 Put us all in the ghettos, make sure all the freaks are together. 112 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,200 It's not fair. 113 00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:15,760 I'm the victim here, not the criminal. I know, Sandra, but we can't protect you 114 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,660 from these bigots 24 hours a day. 115 00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:20,320 That's why we're offering you a place at the refuge. 116 00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:23,020 Thank you. 117 00:06:28,330 --> 00:06:34,130 I'm just sick of the inbreds in this stupid village sniggering at me behind 118 00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:35,130 back. 119 00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:38,350 I thought about moving to London. 120 00:06:38,970 --> 00:06:41,850 You know, where people are more accepting, but then I thought, no. 121 00:06:42,430 --> 00:06:44,390 Why should I run and hide? 122 00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:48,310 I know it's a cliche, but I am what I am. 123 00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:51,190 Come on, Sandra, don't upset yourself. 124 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,250 Don't upset myself? 125 00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:58,410 The people in the village spit at me. The children threw... Don't look through 126 00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:00,510 the letterbox and you're saying don't upset myself. 127 00:07:01,690 --> 00:07:04,630 It's just not fair. 128 00:07:05,170 --> 00:07:09,730 I know, Sandra, but at the end of the day, there will always be those who just 129 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:16,530 can't bring themselves to accept people who are... You can 130 00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:18,250 say it, you know. 131 00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:20,430 Ginger. 132 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:28,920 So where is this refuge? 133 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,900 It's just outside Long Whiston, about 20 miles from here. We can take you there 134 00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:33,900 tonight. 135 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,980 We have got hair dye. 136 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,980 If you don't want people seeing you, you know. 137 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,460 Do you not think I tried that? 138 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,880 I dyed my hair and my eyebrows black when I was 15, but at the end of the 139 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,160 I've still got freckly arms. 140 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,440 So shall we go, then? 141 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:55,760 What, the lake? 142 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,160 Is everybody there, Ginger? 143 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:04,620 Oh, not all of them. There are a few normal, non -Ginger people who work 144 00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:05,620 as well. 145 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,700 But there's nothing to worry about. They've been trained to work with Ginger 146 00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:09,700 people. 147 00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:12,000 And some of them even have Ginger relatives themselves. 148 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,840 We're not saying it's right that you should have to go there. But at the 149 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,500 what with the current hate campaigns against Ginga... Sorry. 150 00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:26,120 We think it's the safest course of action right now. 151 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,510 Come on, love. 152 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:32,650 Now, come on. 153 00:08:33,350 --> 00:08:34,950 Now, don't upset yourself. 154 00:08:35,610 --> 00:08:36,669 Come on, let's go. 155 00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:39,349 Good girl. 156 00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:40,350 Come on. 157 00:08:48,130 --> 00:08:49,130 Come on. 158 00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:52,090 Come on, it's going to be all right. 159 00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:53,890 There you go. 160 00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:01,280 chair wipe down, will you? And make sure someone's here to burn my clothes when 161 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,280 I get back. 162 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:06,160 Ali! 163 00:09:06,260 --> 00:09:10,020 Hello! Oh, my goodness, I've just been in your garden. It's gorgeous. 164 00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:13,960 Thank you. Look, I don't believe you've met Yvonne. No, hello, I'm Ali. 165 00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:17,340 Hi. Oh, you've got something on your face there. 166 00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:19,140 Just give it a rub off. 167 00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:22,340 Yeah, is that all right? No, I think it's a hair or something. 168 00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:39,270 It doesn't. I mean, it doesn't. No, I mean, you can't see it. I mean, I can 169 00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:41,530 it, but then I know it's there. I mean, he didn't see it. 170 00:09:41,950 --> 00:09:43,890 He doesn't know it's there. Oh, Christ, there's more. 171 00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:47,590 Don't pluck them. 172 00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,050 Two will grow in one. 173 00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:54,790 My nan had a beard. 174 00:10:10,570 --> 00:10:11,570 You might think you heard everything. 175 00:10:12,170 --> 00:10:13,170 Listen to this. 176 00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:14,530 Well, I don't know where to start. 177 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:15,990 Well, where do you start? 178 00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:19,590 Well, we're on our way to see Arvaldo. She just moved to Beverley. She'll still 179 00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:21,350 live on Branzo. Yeah, they don't need to know that. 180 00:10:21,790 --> 00:10:24,810 So, anyway, we're on our way to see Arvaldo, and we have to keep stopping 181 00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:26,890 because Ray hasn't bought his driving glasses. 182 00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:30,510 I'm usually all right, but they're just putting in you a ring road, so... So, 183 00:10:30,510 --> 00:10:33,890 anyway, we've stopped again to ask for directions, and we noticed there was a 184 00:10:33,890 --> 00:10:34,649 bit of a pull. 185 00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:35,650 Listen to this. 186 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,760 So we thought we'd better have something to eat before we get there because 187 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,840 Valda's one of these vegetarians. 188 00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:42,820 They don't eat meat. 189 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,440 So we crossed over to this pub. 190 00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:47,960 It looked all right from the outside, didn't it? 191 00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:49,560 Oh, famous last words. 192 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:55,300 So we get in and there's a sign saying it was... What do they call it? 193 00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:57,580 A gastropub. 194 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:58,819 Don't ask. 195 00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,520 So we sit down and we look at the menu. 196 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:01,840 Listen to this. 197 00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:05,430 Well, first thing on the menu was mushroom soup. Well, Ray liked the sound 198 00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:06,029 that, didn't you? 199 00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:07,030 Yeah, not for long. 200 00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:09,250 But then he read what were in it. 201 00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:10,470 Listen to this. 202 00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:13,510 When he read what sort of mushrooms there were. 203 00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,090 This is unbelievable. 204 00:11:16,230 --> 00:11:17,250 What were they called? 205 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:23,110 Dried shit -ache mushrooms. 206 00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:30,830 You went mad, didn't you? 207 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,020 Shit -ache mushrooms. 208 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,840 You don't want that in soup, do you? 209 00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:47,420 Shit -ache mushrooms dried. 210 00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:49,400 You don't want it in anything. 211 00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:53,640 Now, I've eaten everything, right, from Whitby crab to gammon with pineapple on 212 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:54,640 it, so I'm not squeamish. 213 00:11:55,180 --> 00:12:00,480 But I am not eating anything that has got dried shit in the title. 214 00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:07,190 This is in Beverley. 215 00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:10,470 The dirty bastards. 216 00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:17,210 I've not told you about it today, have I? 217 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,489 What's been happening? 218 00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:20,430 I can't believe I ain't told you. 219 00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:21,529 Told me what? 220 00:12:21,530 --> 00:12:22,530 Have I told you already? 221 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,010 Told me what, then? 222 00:12:24,070 --> 00:12:25,290 No, I must have told you. 223 00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:26,570 You ain't told me nothing. 224 00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:31,870 There is absolutely no way I could have got to 20... 225 00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:34,690 That's telling you what's happened to me today. 226 00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:35,989 What is it? 227 00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:37,550 You are going to die. 228 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:38,790 Oh, come on. 229 00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:42,790 I might as well ring the ambulance now because you are going to die. 230 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,550 Come on, you've got to tell me now. 231 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:46,270 I haven't told you, have I? 232 00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:47,510 You ain't said nothing. 233 00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:49,970 This is quality. 234 00:12:51,050 --> 00:12:52,610 Come on, what have you done this time? 235 00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:54,610 Not this time, right? 236 00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:59,250 I'm out with Kerry and Gay Simon and we're on our way to Gino's. We get 237 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,800 to go in and Kerry says she don't want nothing to eat because she's doing the 238 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,920 Atkins. All she wants is a packet of extra strong mints. 239 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,840 So I said, well, I'm not that fussed about eating either because I'd gone mad 240 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,100 and had an M andS wheat germ tricolore for me breakfast. 241 00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:17,760 Then, Gates Simon says in that case, he don't want nothing either because he 242 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:18,760 ain't eating on his own. 243 00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:20,360 But nobody wanted anything to eat. 244 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:25,840 Nobody wanted anything to eat and we stood outside Gino's like a bunch of 245 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:26,840 nutters. 246 00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:37,030 to go, she starts laughing. 247 00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:38,970 I said, I hope you ain't laughing at me, Kerry Baxter. 248 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,850 Baxter ain't her real name, but she doesn't talk to her dad no more, so she 249 00:13:41,850 --> 00:13:42,850 thought she might as well change it. 250 00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:48,490 Meanwhile, Gay Simon is laughing so much, he's collapsed. 251 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,730 He has collapsed. 252 00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:56,810 It's one o 'clock, the three of us are standing outside Gino's, no one's 253 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,110 and we are wrecked. 254 00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:06,950 together. Oh, but that ain't it. 255 00:14:07,170 --> 00:14:08,129 That ain't it. 256 00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:14,010 That is your starter for ten. Oh, this is unbelievable. 257 00:14:14,790 --> 00:14:15,790 Stop. 258 00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:18,970 Kerry says she might as well get her mints from the newsagent. I said I'd go 259 00:14:18,970 --> 00:14:21,510 with her, and Gay Simon said he'd come too, as long as he didn't have to eat 260 00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:26,110 nothing. So we get there, Kerry buys her mints, Gay Simon gets the newspaper, 261 00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,790 and I buy one of them scratch cards. 262 00:14:29,270 --> 00:14:30,269 Oh, here we go. 263 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,270 Oh, no! 264 00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:34,590 Millionaires now, are we? Shut up, don't... 265 00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:36,830 Shall I book the holiday now? 266 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,910 Stop it! I'm going to wet myself! 267 00:14:43,430 --> 00:14:44,850 What are you like? 268 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:46,450 Do you know what I'm like? 269 00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:47,770 I know what you're like. 270 00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:50,010 So, we're in the shop. 271 00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:54,650 I'm doing my scratch card. Gay Simon's looking at his newspaper and Kerry's 272 00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:57,390 asking the man behind the counter if there's any carbohydrate in a strawberry 273 00:14:57,390 --> 00:14:58,390 mini -milk. 274 00:14:59,590 --> 00:15:02,370 Then, I've looked down at this scratch card. 275 00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:04,910 I've only got three pound symbols. 276 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,010 No. I swear to God. 277 00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:09,029 Well, you won. 278 00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:11,710 Three pound symbols, I've won me money back. 279 00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:12,990 Oh, my God. 280 00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:15,270 But that ain't it. 281 00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:18,770 I'll give the card to the man behind the counter. He's looked at you like that. 282 00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:21,870 He said to me, you ain't won, cos all the symbols have got to be in a straight 283 00:15:21,870 --> 00:15:24,950 line. Well, they're not in a straight line, mate. No. 284 00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:29,230 One of them's in the corner, the other one's next to it, and I can't remember 285 00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:30,230 where the other one... 286 00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,280 screaming like a witch, and Kerry's got strawberry mini -milk coming out of her 287 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,280 nose. 288 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,160 It was bedlam! 289 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,200 Why does it always have to be you? 290 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,680 Open up! 291 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,760 It's a text from Kerry. 292 00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:06,180 Oh, here we go. 293 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,480 What's this say? 294 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,280 I've been expecting you. 295 00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:44,620 Don't worry. 296 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:45,720 You're safe now. 297 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,560 Would you like to bring Sandra through? 298 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,780 Um... Through the other room? 299 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,400 Yes. 300 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,000 Are there more people through there? 301 00:16:58,700 --> 00:16:59,700 Ginger people? 302 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,780 Yes, there are. 303 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,920 This is a ginger refuge. 304 00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:10,380 I brought Sandra here because we're short -staffed, but I can't... It's not 305 00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:15,329 smell. It's just that I'm not qualified to work with ginger people. 306 00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,010 I'm sorry. 307 00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:20,190 We'll get your stuff sent on to you, eh? 308 00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:28,930 Sandra, the police are some of the most gingerphobic people in society. 309 00:17:29,730 --> 00:17:32,790 As I said, you're safe now. 310 00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:34,410 Come through. 311 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,640 Welcome to Russet Lodge. 312 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,020 Can we join you, Helen? 313 00:17:53,380 --> 00:17:54,780 This is Sandra Kent. 314 00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:56,160 She's just arrived. 315 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:57,900 Hello. Hi. 316 00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:02,120 Oh, she's beautiful. 317 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,320 Does her mum live at the refuge? 318 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,300 I'm her mum. I don't understand. 319 00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:12,910 You're not... The ginger gene can skip a generation. 320 00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:15,530 Helen is what's known as a carrier. 321 00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:20,230 Though carriers can blend into society much more easily than gingers. At some 322 00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:24,070 point, communities find out. And people like Helen are driven out of their 323 00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,070 homes, too. 324 00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:26,970 So, I'm just like you. 325 00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:29,630 I may not be ginger here. 326 00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:33,250 But I'm ginger here. 327 00:18:36,290 --> 00:18:41,010 Well, I'm glad you could come. It's so nice to see you. Well, to be honest, I 328 00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:43,370 wasn't sure whether I was going to make it tonight. 329 00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:45,850 Ali! Hello! 330 00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:48,950 Come on, you two, get on the dance floor. 331 00:18:49,770 --> 00:18:50,910 Have you two met each other? 332 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,250 No, hello, I'm Ali. 333 00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:55,050 Hi, I'm... No, 334 00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:01,570 I'm... 335 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,240 No, I'm Sean. 336 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:10,680 Huh? 337 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,800 God, no, yeah, no, God. 338 00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:21,160 No, I mean, I know, yeah, no, I was just rapping. 339 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:28,700 Yeah. No, because I know you... You... Because you're Sean with... 340 00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,460 You know it goes if you sing. 341 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,520 Don't do that! 342 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,080 Beautiful song. 343 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:57,720 Yeah. 344 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,400 98. 345 00:20:03,050 --> 00:20:05,130 You'd better admit, the old bugger had a good innings. 346 00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:07,010 That's true. 347 00:20:07,430 --> 00:20:09,390 I'm sorry, I find that language very disrespectful. 348 00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:11,610 I think you should modify your tone. 349 00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:54,230 Unbelievable. 350 00:21:31,370 --> 00:21:32,530 It's very cramped in here. 351 00:21:36,390 --> 00:21:37,410 Is that you, darling? 352 00:21:37,710 --> 00:21:38,710 Hiya, Nan. 353 00:21:38,890 --> 00:21:40,810 Oh, sweetheart, thank God for that. 354 00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:43,190 Are you OK? I came as soon as I got your message. 355 00:21:43,610 --> 00:21:44,670 Oh, you are a good boy. 356 00:21:45,090 --> 00:21:46,090 How are you feeling? 357 00:21:46,170 --> 00:21:47,790 I'm all right, love, yeah, I'll be all right. 358 00:21:48,430 --> 00:21:49,890 Just a bit of a shock, that's all. 359 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,550 Yeah, when did it happen? 360 00:21:51,870 --> 00:21:53,170 Just after one o 'clock. 361 00:21:53,630 --> 00:21:55,830 Been sat here not knowing what to do since then. 362 00:21:56,070 --> 00:21:57,690 I got here as soon as I could, Nan. 363 00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:01,240 No, don't worry, darling. You weren't to know something like this was going to 364 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,500 happen. How could anybody know? 365 00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:08,020 We all take these things for granted and then one day, bang, that's your lot. 366 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:09,720 Yeah. 367 00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:13,360 Is it just ITV you can't get? 368 00:22:20,460 --> 00:22:22,180 No, love, it's all of them. 369 00:22:23,260 --> 00:22:26,540 I've been sat here in silence for the last three and a half hours. 370 00:22:28,490 --> 00:22:29,970 Have you missed many of your programmes? 371 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:33,230 Oh, you know me, love, I don't really take much notice. 372 00:22:33,930 --> 00:22:37,050 It's just nice to have on in the background for a bit of company, that's 373 00:22:37,150 --> 00:22:38,150 you know. Yeah. 374 00:22:38,550 --> 00:22:41,510 Although I suppose I'll never know what happened to Tanisha. 375 00:22:42,790 --> 00:22:46,310 Who's Tanisha? Girl on that Tricia this morning. Did you see it? 376 00:22:46,610 --> 00:22:48,570 No. Oh, it's unbelievable. 377 00:22:49,990 --> 00:22:55,310 She's getting the fat sucked out of her thigh and injected into her backside. 378 00:22:55,830 --> 00:22:58,690 It's only a young... girl she was. I thought they'd got it the wrong way 379 00:22:58,690 --> 00:22:59,690 at first, but no. 380 00:22:59,950 --> 00:23:02,690 She wants to have a bigger arse than she's already got. 381 00:23:04,210 --> 00:23:06,930 And if you asked me, it was a fair size to start with. 382 00:23:07,710 --> 00:23:09,830 You could show fucking cartoons on it. 383 00:23:13,530 --> 00:23:16,370 I've got someone coming over to have a look at the telly. He should be here 384 00:23:16,370 --> 00:23:21,470 soon. And I've missed me lovely gay boy who takes you to an auction and sells 385 00:23:21,470 --> 00:23:23,350 all your old shit you were gonna throw out. 386 00:23:26,410 --> 00:23:27,570 It might just be the fuse. 387 00:23:28,790 --> 00:23:29,790 Oh, that'll be Danny. 388 00:23:30,070 --> 00:23:30,989 Danny who? 389 00:23:30,990 --> 00:23:32,770 Oh, Nan, don't start. Danny Shaw. 390 00:23:33,390 --> 00:23:34,970 I don't know no -one called Shaw. 391 00:23:35,350 --> 00:23:38,490 You do? You know his mother, Lou Shaw? She's just come out of hospital. 392 00:23:38,970 --> 00:23:40,170 Not Loopy Lou. 393 00:23:42,050 --> 00:23:44,690 Don't you dare say that while he's here. She's been very ill. 394 00:23:45,230 --> 00:23:47,030 Not Loopy fucking Lou. 395 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,300 you, he's repairing the telly for free, so don't upset him. 396 00:23:57,500 --> 00:24:00,520 For free? No, thank you. I don't want no charity. 397 00:24:00,780 --> 00:24:02,800 You can tell him to piss off out of it. 398 00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:04,680 I'd rather sit in a dark. 399 00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:06,920 Mrs. Taylor, how you doing? 400 00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:08,280 Hello, sweetheart. 401 00:24:08,540 --> 00:24:09,540 How are you? 402 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,980 I'm not too bad, thanks. Now, let's have a look at this. 403 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,420 Oh, you can take it away, darling. I never really look at it. 404 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,360 I'll put the kettle on. 405 00:24:18,580 --> 00:24:19,760 Did Jamie check the fuse? 406 00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:22,420 Oh, don't bother asking him nothing, darling. He ain't got a job. 407 00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:27,390 I'm not going to charge you for the repair, Mrs Taylor, and I don't want any 408 00:24:27,390 --> 00:24:28,390 arguing, OK? 409 00:24:28,490 --> 00:24:29,730 Oh, you are a good boy. 410 00:24:35,830 --> 00:24:37,130 How's your mum, darling? 411 00:24:38,150 --> 00:24:40,110 I haven't seen her about for a while. 412 00:24:41,250 --> 00:24:42,270 She's OK, thanks. 413 00:24:42,650 --> 00:24:45,090 Oh. She's still up the nut house. 414 00:24:50,590 --> 00:24:55,440 Nan, Mum went into hospital for a rest. but she's much better now, thanks. 415 00:24:55,760 --> 00:25:01,240 Oh, I am pleased, darling, cos last time I saw your mother, she was down on all 416 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,420 fours in the dry cleaners, barking like a dog. 417 00:25:05,780 --> 00:25:08,720 Now, I think you must have her confused with somebody else, Mrs Taylor. 418 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,220 No, Loopy Lou! 419 00:25:11,460 --> 00:25:15,940 Everyone knows your mother. I remember when she got barred out of Tesco's when 420 00:25:15,940 --> 00:25:17,580 they caught her peeing in a deep freeze. 421 00:25:27,370 --> 00:25:28,430 She's feeling better. 422 00:25:28,750 --> 00:25:33,030 There you go, Mrs Taylor. It was just the fuse, so I'll be on my way. No, you 423 00:25:33,030 --> 00:25:33,669 won't, son. 424 00:25:33,670 --> 00:25:36,650 Oh, no. No, you'll take something for your trouble. Now, we've been through 425 00:25:36,650 --> 00:25:40,870 this. No, I won't take your money. Now, be a good boy. It's only a fuse. 426 00:25:41,190 --> 00:25:42,190 That's not the point. 427 00:25:42,670 --> 00:25:43,670 Here's £50. 428 00:25:43,710 --> 00:25:47,990 Look, I can't take it. Now, you take it and go and treat your mother to a nice 429 00:25:47,990 --> 00:25:48,769 new hat. 430 00:25:48,770 --> 00:25:50,970 Well, thank you, Mrs Taylor. You look after yourself. 431 00:25:51,290 --> 00:25:53,190 Thank you, sweetheart. 432 00:25:53,870 --> 00:25:57,650 Very obliged to you coming out at such short notice. Truly I am. 433 00:26:35,210 --> 00:26:37,490 to come up here wearing his little cowboy outfit. 434 00:26:37,770 --> 00:26:38,970 Should have fucking kept it on. 435 00:26:41,890 --> 00:26:45,850 And a lot of good you wearing all. Stood there worried about what side your 436 00:26:45,850 --> 00:26:49,470 hair's parted while I'm getting turned over by a man whose mother eats her own 437 00:26:49,470 --> 00:26:50,470 shit. 438 00:26:53,210 --> 00:26:54,790 Being gingers is who I am. 439 00:26:55,290 --> 00:26:56,550 Why should I deny that? 440 00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:58,170 You shouldn't. 441 00:26:58,670 --> 00:26:59,990 And that's why we're here. 442 00:27:00,710 --> 00:27:02,970 We have all sorts of gingers here. 443 00:27:03,390 --> 00:27:04,550 Gingers in denial. 444 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:06,540 Confused gingers. 445 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,500 Even militant gingers. 446 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:13,520 But they have one thing in common. They don't need to fear the outside world. 447 00:27:14,020 --> 00:27:17,100 They're all welcome to stay here in peace and harmony. 448 00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:22,740 Put the bottle down. 449 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,020 What's she doing here? She's not even ginger. 450 00:27:25,820 --> 00:27:27,200 She's a strawberry blonde. 451 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,260 You have as much right to be here as you. 452 00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:31,520 Look at her face. 453 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,080 How come you're the only one who uses the garden when it's sunny? 454 00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:40,500 Oh, look. 455 00:27:40,940 --> 00:27:42,200 She's getting a tan. 456 00:27:42,540 --> 00:27:43,900 All right, everyone, that's enough. 457 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,600 Look at us. 458 00:27:46,260 --> 00:27:47,260 Look at us. 459 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,900 From strawberry blondes to flame -haired beauties, we are all ginger. 460 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,480 And if we can't get on with each other in here, what chance do we have in the 461 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:56,480 real world? 462 00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,080 Duracell. 463 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,080 Ginger nut. 464 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,200 Carrot top. 465 00:28:04,220 --> 00:28:05,220 Copper knob. 466 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:10,400 We're used to getting that kind of abuse every day out there. 467 00:28:10,860 --> 00:28:14,920 People asking us to move away from areas where food is being prepared. 468 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:19,400 Total strangers assuming we're Scottish. 469 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:25,680 Forever trawling the streets, trying to find a hairdresser's that isn't fully 470 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:26,680 booked. 471 00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:28,600 Well, not in here. 472 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:33,080 This is a safe haven for everyone and everything, Ginger. 473 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:35,820 Let's keep it that way!