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h
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ht
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htt
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http
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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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push! Push!
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Come on,
you gotta push it!
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How much longer?
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00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,474
10 seconds.
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00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:18,309
You gotta push harder,
or it's not gonna work.
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This is so stupid.
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It's not stupid.
You're gonna love it.
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I'm not.
Not gonna love it.
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Ok. That's time.
Step away from the door.
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00:00:26,859 --> 00:00:28,319
Ok. That's time.
Step away from the door.
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00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,198
Ahh!
Ohh!
30
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,574
Ahh!
Ohh!
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Kelso, you're
a genius.
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Yeah, well,
it's magic.
33
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,707
Oh, my god. Finally.
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I am so dehydrated.
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00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:46,879
Oh, here.
Piggly wiggly diet cream soda.
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00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:48,339
I told you my
top three choices
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00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,883
were tab, fresca,
or diet rite.
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Again, you get
piggly wiggly diet cream soda.
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00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,345
Again, you get
piggly wiggly diet cream soda.
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00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:55,888
Then I'll just
have water.
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00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:58,057
You know, there's a hose
in the backyard.
42
00:00:58,057 --> 00:00:59,475
You know, there's a hose
in the backyard.
43
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:00,851
I've noticed that
the pop selection
44
00:01:01,018 --> 00:01:03,521
has really went downhill
since your dad got laid off.
45
00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:05,690
He's...not laid off.
He's just part-time.
46
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:08,317
He's...not laid off.
He's just part-time.
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And shut up!
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00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,737
Kids...
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00:01:11,904 --> 00:01:13,906
Kids, kids, kids, kids,
kids, kids, kids...
50
00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:15,199
Kids, kids, kids, kids,
kids, kids, kids...
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00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,450
The president
is coming.
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00:01:16,617 --> 00:01:17,201
What president?
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00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:19,996
The president of these
United States, Gerald r. Ford--
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the 36th--8th--
55
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the 36th--8th--
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40th...i don't know.
He's the president!
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00:01:26,627 --> 00:01:28,212
40th...i don't know.
He's the president!
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Why would Ford
come to point place?
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00:01:30,339 --> 00:01:33,175
Because we are
a whistle stop
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00:01:33,342 --> 00:01:35,177
along his Wisconsin
campaign trail.
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00:01:35,344 --> 00:01:37,805
My dad organized it.
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00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,728
Dear...the next time you know
a president is coming to town,
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00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,730
dear...the next time you know
a president is coming to town,
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00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,231
dear...the next time you know
a president is coming to town,
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00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:49,900
please give me
a little more notice.
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00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:52,528
I need to vacuum.
Eric, you tidy up this basement.
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00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:55,156
A pie! I gotta
make a pie!
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00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:59,243
Wow.
The president's coming.
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00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:01,162
Wow.
The president's coming.
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00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:03,080
You know what
we should do...
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00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:04,081
That door thing again.
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00:02:04,248 --> 00:02:05,791
Yeah!
Yeah!
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00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,463
♪ Hangin' out ♪
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00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,797
♪ hangin' out ♪
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00:02:11,964 --> 00:02:13,966
♪ down the street ♪
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00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:15,635
♪ down the street ♪
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00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,803
♪ the same old thing ♪
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00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:19,180
♪ the same old thing ♪
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00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:21,349
♪ we did last week ♪
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00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,558
♪ we did last week ♪
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00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,727
♪ not a thing to do ♪
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00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,729
♪ not a thing to do ♪
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00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,899
♪ but talk to you ♪
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00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,526
♪ whoa, yeah ♪♪
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00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,239
Hello, Wisconsin!
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00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,039
So, how's the car?
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00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:46,582
Real good.
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00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,668
By "real good," you mean
you rotated those tires
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00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:51,462
like I asked you to?
90
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,631
Dad, don't they rotate
every time I drive?
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00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,508
Dad, don't they rotate
every time I drive?
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00:03:02,723 --> 00:03:04,350
You being
a smart mouth?
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00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,394
Yes.
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00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,521
And I'm sorry.
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00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:11,816
Tuna casserole again?
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00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:15,820
Well, ok. How about we
don't pay the car insurance,
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00:03:15,986 --> 00:03:17,363
and we'll all
have steak?
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00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,365
All right.
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00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,742
Ha ha ha!
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00:03:21,909 --> 00:03:24,245
Well, just imagine.
President Ford is coming here.
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00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,747
Ha ha!
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00:03:26,914 --> 00:03:27,665
Uh, red,
we need to get rid
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00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,834
of the oil stains
in the driveway.
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00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,502
Of the oil stains
in the driveway.
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00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:32,753
It's not like he's
coming to our house,
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00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,922
and if he did,
I'd kick him in the keister.
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00:03:34,922 --> 00:03:36,549
And if he did,
I'd kick him in the keister.
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00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,801
Oh, stop it.
How can you say that?
109
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:41,178
You voted for
Gerald Ford.
110
00:03:41,345 --> 00:03:43,347
Kitty, no one voted
for Gerald Ford.
111
00:03:43,347 --> 00:03:45,349
Kitty, no one voted
for Gerald Ford.
112
00:03:45,349 --> 00:03:46,392
Kitty, no one voted
for Gerald Ford.
113
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,810
Ha ha ha!
114
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,938
But he still is
our president.
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00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:53,441
Oh, the boy's old enough
to hear that kind of talk.
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00:03:53,607 --> 00:03:55,609
Eric, say that your job
was sent to a plant in...
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00:03:55,609 --> 00:03:56,777
Eric, say that your job
was sent to a plant in...
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00:03:56,944 --> 00:03:59,864
Guadala-who-the-hell-cares.
119
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:02,032
Now, are you gonna vote for
the guy that let that happen?
120
00:04:02,032 --> 00:04:04,243
Now, are you gonna vote for
the guy that let that happen?
121
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,120
Red, president Ford
didn't take your job.
122
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,289
He took Nixon's.
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00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,416
He took Nixon's.
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00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,585
Eric...
We're waiting.
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00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,712
Eric...
We're waiting.
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00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,881
Um...well...ahem...
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00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:18,424
Um...well...ahem...
128
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,009
I believe that
everyone's political opinion
129
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,178
is valid and
worth hearing.
130
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,597
Is valid and
worth hearing.
131
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:29,059
Well, that's--
that's perfect, Eric.
132
00:04:29,226 --> 00:04:31,228
Use that line when you
run for miss america.
133
00:04:31,228 --> 00:04:32,521
Use that line when you
run for miss america.
134
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:38,027
Settle down
and we'll start the assembly.
135
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,278
Settle down
and we'll start the assembly.
136
00:04:41,113 --> 00:04:43,115
Now, concerning
the canned goods drive--
137
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:44,992
now, concerning
the canned goods drive--
138
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:48,037
motor oil is not a food.
139
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,246
Boo!
Boo!
140
00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:51,624
I'm sorry, it's not,
and all your booing
141
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:54,335
isn't gonna
make it one.
142
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:57,129
Now...as you all know,
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00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:59,298
president Ford will
be visiting our fair city,
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00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,342
president Ford will
be visiting our fair city,
145
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:04,512
and I know there are some
of you ne'er-do-Wells out there
146
00:05:04,678 --> 00:05:06,680
that might be planning
some sort of quoteiunquote
147
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:07,890
that might be planning
some sort of quoteiunquote
148
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,059
"social
statement-type protest."
149
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:12,561
"Social
statement-type protest."
150
00:05:12,728 --> 00:05:13,521
I can't believe this.
151
00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:16,065
Who cares if
Ford is coming?
152
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:16,690
It's better
than when
153
00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:19,735
the Oscar meyer
weenie-mobile drove through.
154
00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,111
They didn't
even stop.
155
00:05:21,278 --> 00:05:21,987
They just
slowed down
156
00:05:22,154 --> 00:05:24,156
and threw a bunch
of hot dog whistles at us.
157
00:05:24,156 --> 00:05:25,282
And threw a bunch
of hot dog whistles at us.
158
00:05:25,449 --> 00:05:27,576
Two girls
in a phallic r.V.,
159
00:05:27,743 --> 00:05:29,745
driving around,
handing out things you blow--
160
00:05:29,745 --> 00:05:31,288
driving around,
handing out things you blow--
161
00:05:31,455 --> 00:05:34,291
[sighs] What
a great country.
162
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,460
So let me tell you
another thing, Mr. or Mrs. Punk.
163
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:38,462
So let me tell you
another thing, Mr. or Mrs. Punk.
164
00:05:38,462 --> 00:05:41,173
So let me tell you
another thing, Mr. or Mrs. Punk.
165
00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:44,301
Protesting
accomplishes nothing.
166
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:50,349
Oh, sure, you might see
a chance to prove your manhood
167
00:05:50,349 --> 00:05:52,059
oh, sure, you might see
a chance to prove your manhood
168
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:54,228
or show you're cool...
169
00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:55,646
Or show you're cool...
170
00:05:56,897 --> 00:05:58,899
But this is our president.
Our president, darn it!
171
00:05:58,899 --> 00:06:01,569
But this is our president.
Our president, darn it!
172
00:06:01,735 --> 00:06:04,280
So no shenanigans,
you hear me?
173
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,535
If that's your kind
of attitude,
174
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,704
you might just as well
go home right now.
175
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,038
You might just as well
go home right now.
176
00:06:17,459 --> 00:06:19,962
...so president Ford
should be arriving at noon.
177
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:21,881
Oh, man!
Deviled eggs.
178
00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:24,049
Are--are these
for anybody?
179
00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:25,301
Are--are these
for anybody?
180
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:27,344
Hi, daddy.
Hi, Mr. Pinciottl.
181
00:06:27,511 --> 00:06:28,262
Hi.
Hi, kitten.
182
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,514
Now look, we're talking
about adult stuff here.
183
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,683
Why don't you and your friend
head up to your room?
184
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:33,893
Why don't you and your friend
head up to your room?
185
00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:42,526
Now, the most important part
of our presidential rally
186
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,737
is the townspeople
"q and a" section.
187
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,530
Just so
everyone's clear,
188
00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:48,324
the "q" stands
for question.
189
00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:51,493
The "a" for answer.
190
00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:53,662
All yours, Jack.
191
00:06:53,662 --> 00:06:55,497
All yours, Jack.
192
00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:57,791
This is when normal folks
step up to the microphone
193
00:06:57,958 --> 00:06:59,501
and ask
the president questions.
194
00:06:59,668 --> 00:07:02,421
Now, the important thing is
to choose the right person.
195
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,590
You know, a working-class guy,
your average Joe.
196
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,508
You know, a working-class guy,
your average Joe.
197
00:07:06,675 --> 00:07:08,677
I guess someone you and I
would call a loser.
198
00:07:08,677 --> 00:07:09,845
I guess someone you and I
would call a loser.
199
00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:15,559
...so of course,
I thought of you.
200
00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:17,728
We'd like you to ask
president Ford a question.
201
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:18,771
We'd like you to ask
president Ford a question.
202
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,230
Ahhh...
203
00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:24,109
So, what do you
say to that?
204
00:07:24,276 --> 00:07:25,402
I say no, thank you,
205
00:07:25,569 --> 00:07:27,571
and I want my
Crescent wrench back.
206
00:07:27,571 --> 00:07:28,781
And I want my
Crescent wrench back.
207
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,032
I'll do it.
208
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:32,201
No, no. You keep working
on your pies, heh heh.
209
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,744
No, no. You keep working
on your pies, heh heh.
210
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,126
Just imagine, red.
You, the little guy,
211
00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:42,336
get to have
your opinions heard
212
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,421
by the most
powerful man in america.
213
00:07:44,588 --> 00:07:47,341
Take advantage
of this opportunity.
214
00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:51,720
Turn that light off!
215
00:07:51,887 --> 00:07:53,722
Sorry.
216
00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:57,434
Look, guys, we
gotta do something
217
00:07:57,601 --> 00:07:58,852
that says we will
not pay homage
218
00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:01,897
to a corrupt
electoral system.
219
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,066
I know.
A bloody coup!
220
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:07,027
I know.
A bloody coup!
221
00:08:07,194 --> 00:08:08,654
That's good...
222
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,239
But we're looking
for something great--
223
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,116
something that would
make our founding fathers
224
00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:14,284
proud, man, you know?
225
00:08:14,284 --> 00:08:15,452
Proud, man, you know?
226
00:08:18,205 --> 00:08:19,373
Let's streak!
227
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,542
Bingo!
228
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:22,543
Yeah! I've always
wanted to do that.
229
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,712
Just run buck naked
through a sea of people.
230
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:25,796
Just run buck naked
through a sea of people.
231
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,590
Be free and
shake it around.
232
00:08:28,757 --> 00:08:30,384
All right, who's in?
233
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:31,510
Will people
be chasing us
234
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,679
with torches
and pointy sticks?
235
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,431
With torches
and pointy sticks?
236
00:08:35,597 --> 00:08:36,515
No.
237
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,183
Then I am in.
238
00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:39,435
Great!
239
00:08:39,601 --> 00:08:41,603
Eric...are you in?
240
00:08:41,603 --> 00:08:42,646
Eric...are you in?
241
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,106
Ok, streaking.
I'm--
242
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:47,026
don't get me wrong.
I'm completely pro-nudity...
243
00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,736
But I think my dad
might kill me,
244
00:08:48,902 --> 00:08:50,904
and i'm
antl-being killed.
245
00:08:50,904 --> 00:08:52,406
And i'm
antl-being killed.
246
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,825
Hey, if there wasn't
some huge downside
247
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,618
to doing something
this stupid,
248
00:08:56,785 --> 00:08:58,787
it wouldn't be
worth doing, you know?
249
00:08:58,787 --> 00:09:00,330
It wouldn't be
worth doing, you know?
250
00:09:00,497 --> 00:09:02,082
Good point.
251
00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:04,251
Oh! And I could write
some really great slogan
252
00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:06,795
like "I hate the fuzz"
on my ass.
253
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:11,842
If you hate
the fuzz on your ass,
254
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,386
why don't you
just shave it off?
255
00:09:29,651 --> 00:09:32,362
Pretty snazzy, eh?
256
00:09:32,529 --> 00:09:34,573
Looking good,
dad.
257
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,366
I got one
for you, too.
258
00:09:36,533 --> 00:09:38,619
We're gonna wear them
to meet the president.
259
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:40,120
No. No way.
260
00:09:40,287 --> 00:09:42,206
Honey, you're missing
the big picture.
261
00:09:42,372 --> 00:09:45,000
Lemme go get the other
jumpsuits. You'll see.
262
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,588
Mom, why are
you doing this?
263
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,799
Honey, there are
lots of things I do
264
00:09:51,965 --> 00:09:53,967
to make your father happy
that I don't really like.
265
00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:55,177
To make your father happy
that I don't really like.
266
00:09:57,721 --> 00:09:59,765
Mom...eeughh!
267
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,934
Oh, no, not that.
I love that.
268
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,393
Oh, no, not that.
I love that.
269
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,648
I meant like fishing.
270
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,191
I meant like fishing.
271
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:11,151
See? When we
stand together,
272
00:10:11,318 --> 00:10:13,320
we're the
American flag.
273
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,114
We're the
American flag.
274
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,615
I'm not wearing
a striped jumpsuit.
275
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,408
Oh, no, honey.
276
00:10:18,575 --> 00:10:20,202
You're the
field of blue.
277
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:21,495
That's right.
278
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,038
Bye now.
279
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,834
But, Donna,
you're part of the family.
280
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,836
But, Donna,
you're part of the family.
281
00:10:29,002 --> 00:10:31,255
Oh, my, this hurts.
282
00:10:31,421 --> 00:10:33,966
[Telephone rings]
283
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:34,758
Yello?
284
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:37,094
Good news, Bob.
I've been thinking about it,
285
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,263
and I've decided I will
ask Ford a question.
286
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:41,140
And I've decided I will
ask Ford a question.
287
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:43,308
Oh, jeez, red.
This is good news...
288
00:10:43,308 --> 00:10:44,810
Oh, jeez, red.
This is good news...
289
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,604
And I could sure use it
right about now.
290
00:10:47,771 --> 00:10:49,773
Yeah, well...
Glad I could help.
291
00:10:49,773 --> 00:10:51,066
Yeah, well...
Glad I could help.
292
00:10:53,777 --> 00:10:55,779
Oh, I'm gonna ask him
a question, all right,
293
00:10:55,779 --> 00:10:57,614
oh, I'm gonna ask him
a question, all right,
294
00:10:57,781 --> 00:11:00,534
and it's gonna be
a damn good one.
295
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,035
Red...
296
00:11:02,202 --> 00:11:03,871
Now, don't worry.
297
00:11:04,037 --> 00:11:05,581
I'm simply
gonna ask him
298
00:11:05,747 --> 00:11:08,667
how the hell he's gonna
fix this economy.
299
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,669
Oh, honey,
he wouldn't know that.
300
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,422
He's the president.
301
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,763
All this food
for 45 cents.
302
00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:24,099
It is unbelievable.
303
00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:34,151
Oh, I see.
304
00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:38,572
So, forman...
305
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:39,823
The rally's
tonight, man.
306
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:40,741
What's your
decision?
307
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,326
Yeah. Are you gonna
streak or not?
308
00:11:42,492 --> 00:11:43,493
Don't pressure him.
309
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:45,662
No. I've been doing
some thinking, and... I'm in.
310
00:11:45,662 --> 00:11:47,247
No. I've been doing
some thinking, and... I'm in.
311
00:11:47,414 --> 00:11:48,040
All right.
312
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,459
Well, you're gonna look
like a bunch of idiots.
313
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,628
A bunch of
naked idiots.
314
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,296
A bunch of
naked idiots.
315
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,465
Thanks, kelso.
316
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:58,592
Thanks, kelso.
317
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,469
It can't go
beyond this table.
318
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:02,137
If my father finds out
what we've planned,
319
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,973
he will nail me
to the wall.
320
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,067
Why are you all sitting on
one side of the table, huh?
321
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,777
Why are you all sitting on
one side of the table, huh?
322
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:30,415
Ok, now. Make way for
my presidential pies.
323
00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:32,376
Ok, now. Make way for
my presidential pies.
324
00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:35,212
See? Cherry,
mock apple, blueberry.
325
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,672
See that?
Red, white, and blue.
326
00:12:36,838 --> 00:12:38,840
It's like the beginning
to love, American style in pie!
327
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,842
It's like the beginning
to love, American style in pie!
328
00:12:40,842 --> 00:12:41,969
It's like the beginning
to love, American style in pie!
329
00:12:42,135 --> 00:12:44,680
Look. Lookit.
See, honey?
330
00:12:44,846 --> 00:12:47,266
You're not looking.
331
00:12:47,432 --> 00:12:49,685
Yeah, pie.
332
00:12:49,851 --> 00:12:51,853
Here, dad. Mr. Pinciottl
wanted me to give you this.
333
00:12:51,853 --> 00:12:53,021
Here, dad. Mr. Pinciottl
wanted me to give you this.
334
00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:54,022
What is it?
335
00:12:54,189 --> 00:12:56,692
It's your question
for president Ford.
336
00:12:56,858 --> 00:12:59,486
But I'm working on my question
for president Ford.
337
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:01,655
Right. Well, this is the one
the committee made up for you.
338
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,949
Right. Well, this is the one
the committee made up for you.
339
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,952
"What has been
your favorite parade?"
340
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:10,038
This is asinine.
341
00:13:10,205 --> 00:13:10,664
Macy's?
342
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:11,456
No contest.
343
00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:13,542
Right.
344
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,210
Can I borrow
your trench coat?
345
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:18,338
I can ask the president
any damn thing I want.
346
00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:20,257
It's my right.
347
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:23,093
I'm not gonna be a puppet
for Bob's committee.
348
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,344
Right. I'll take real
good care of it,
349
00:13:24,511 --> 00:13:26,221
and I'll bring it back
as soon as I possibly can.
350
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,015
Honey, just take
the coat and leave.
351
00:13:28,181 --> 00:13:30,183
No. Eric, a man has
to stand up and be heard.
352
00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:32,185
No. Eric, a man has
to stand up and be heard.
353
00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:34,187
No. Eric, a man has
to stand up and be heard.
354
00:13:34,187 --> 00:13:36,648
No. Eric, a man has
to stand up and be heard.
355
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:38,567
I will not sit quietly by
356
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:40,736
while everything is
taken away from me.
357
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,404
While everything is
taken away from me.
358
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,573
They took my job...
My stability...
359
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,658
They took my job...
My stability...
360
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:48,827
And now they wanna take away
my right to free speech.
361
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,912
And now they wanna take away
my right to free speech.
362
00:13:51,079 --> 00:13:52,164
You still have
the Toyota.
363
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,333
It gets
great mileage.
364
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,460
It gets
great mileage.
365
00:13:56,626 --> 00:13:58,628
Where's the america
that I knew as a boy?
366
00:13:58,628 --> 00:13:59,880
Where's the america
that I knew as a boy?
367
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,924
Where?
368
00:14:03,091 --> 00:14:05,093
You tell me,
dear god...Where?
369
00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:07,804
You tell me,
dear god...Where?
370
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,894
Ok, I really hate being
in this room right now.
371
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,437
Ok, I really hate being
in this room right now.
372
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:20,525
Ok. When the president
starts his speech here,
373
00:14:20,692 --> 00:14:22,694
I'll blow my Oscar meyer
whistle, and we go.
374
00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:24,404
I'll blow my Oscar meyer
whistle, and we go.
375
00:14:24,571 --> 00:14:26,239
Did you write
"I hate the fuzz" on your butt?
376
00:14:26,406 --> 00:14:28,408
Yeah. Donna, here's
your lipstick back.
377
00:14:28,408 --> 00:14:29,785
Yeah. Donna, here's
your lipstick back.
378
00:14:29,951 --> 00:14:32,662
Keep it.
379
00:14:34,998 --> 00:14:35,832
You got
the masks?
380
00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:37,918
Yeah. I got three
snoopys and one Nixon.
381
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,378
Not it! Not it! Not it!
382
00:14:39,544 --> 00:14:40,504
Damn!
383
00:14:40,670 --> 00:14:41,880
Fez, how'd you know
how to do that?
384
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,049
My country invented
"not it."
385
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,384
My country invented
"not it."
386
00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:46,676
So, can we go already?
387
00:14:46,843 --> 00:14:48,845
I'm ltchin' to release
the hound here.
388
00:14:48,845 --> 00:14:49,930
I'm ltchin' to release
the hound here.
389
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,723
It's go time.
390
00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,892
Oh, well,
now look at you guys.
391
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:54,935
Oh, well,
now look at you guys.
392
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,104
What is it with you
young people and Columbo?
393
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,522
What is it with you
young people and Columbo?
394
00:14:58,688 --> 00:15:00,065
Bye.
395
00:15:00,315 --> 00:15:02,567
Bye.
396
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:03,819
Aren't you going, Donna?
397
00:15:03,985 --> 00:15:06,113
No. My dad's
gonna make me wear
398
00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:08,240
this really queer
jumpsuit.
399
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,533
I don't know
lf I can do it.
400
00:15:09,699 --> 00:15:12,244
It's just
too embarrassing.
401
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,037
You know, Donna,
402
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:16,706
my grandmother
came from Sweden,
403
00:15:16,873 --> 00:15:19,042
and she had this
thick, thick accent,
404
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,086
and it embarrassed me
to no end.
405
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,255
Well, I asked her not to come
to my high school graduation
406
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,965
well, I asked her not to come
to my high school graduation
407
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,759
'cause I didn't want
my friends to hear her talk,
408
00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:29,594
and she didn't come.
409
00:15:29,761 --> 00:15:31,763
Sixteen years later,
she got the gout and died.
410
00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:33,765
Sixteen years later,
she got the gout and died.
411
00:15:33,765 --> 00:15:35,058
Sixteen years later,
she got the gout and died.
412
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,310
You see?
413
00:15:37,477 --> 00:15:38,812
No.
414
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,814
All families
are embarrassing.
415
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,983
And if they're not embarrassing,
then they're dead.
416
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:45,318
And if they're not embarrassing,
then they're dead.
417
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:52,659
All right,
try and blend in, huh?
418
00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:55,162
I couldn't leave you
sitting alone like that,
419
00:15:55,328 --> 00:15:57,414
so I came over,
and here you are.
420
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:01,376
Hey, are you hitting
on my girlfriend?
421
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:02,294
Michael, he's not--
422
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,837
hey, man! All right,
you wanna go?
423
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,589
Yeah, let's go!
424
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:09,050
You are so lucky
I'm naked, pal!
425
00:16:09,217 --> 00:16:10,177
Shut up!
Shut up!
426
00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:14,639
There's supposed to be
a blue field of stars there.
427
00:16:14,639 --> 00:16:15,891
There's supposed to be
a blue field of stars there.
428
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,897
Oh, honey!
429
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:26,818
[Smattering of applause]
430
00:16:26,818 --> 00:16:28,153
[Smattering of applause]
431
00:16:30,655 --> 00:16:32,574
Now, if we just start
to sway back and forth,
432
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,743
it'll look like the flag
is waving in the wind.
433
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:35,827
It'll look like the flag
is waving in the wind.
434
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:37,412
Oh, god.
435
00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:40,540
[Louder applause]
436
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,717
Hey, there's another guy
in a trench coat.
437
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:52,344
I bet he's
a streaker, too.
438
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,471
No, Fez. He's
with secret service.
439
00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:55,722
How about
that man?
440
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:56,848
Yeah,
secret service.
441
00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:57,891
And that man?
442
00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,309
Yeah.
Yeah.
443
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:00,268
And that man
with the dog?
444
00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:01,520
Yeah
445
00:17:01,686 --> 00:17:02,854
oh, the dog is
looking at us.
446
00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:03,605
Come here, boy.
447
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,398
No, Fez.
448
00:17:05,565 --> 00:17:08,485
Ohh! Man, I just
thought of something.
449
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:09,861
What? What? What?
450
00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:11,696
What are we gonna do
with our trench coats?
451
00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:12,489
I mean, after
we rip 'em off,
452
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,366
we can't come back here
and get them.
453
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,535
Oh, shucks!
Ohh!
454
00:17:16,701 --> 00:17:18,411
God, this is
all my fault.
455
00:17:18,578 --> 00:17:20,789
You know what?
456
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,875
I'll hold the coats.
You guys streak.
457
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:26,253
Thanks.
Thanks...
458
00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:29,256
I just thought
of something, too.
459
00:17:29,422 --> 00:17:31,466
We're...naked...
460
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,635
And there's a lot
of dogs here.
461
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,554
And there's a lot
of dogs here.
462
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,722
Maybe we should
just sit down.
463
00:17:37,722 --> 00:17:38,848
Maybe we should
just sit down.
464
00:17:39,015 --> 00:17:39,975
Me, too.
465
00:17:40,141 --> 00:17:42,477
Me, too.
Ok.
466
00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:46,314
Ladies and gentlemen,
467
00:17:46,481 --> 00:17:48,483
the president of
the United States of America,
468
00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:49,526
the president of
the United States of America,
469
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:52,070
Gerald r. Ford!
470
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,697
Yay! Hooray!
Yay!
471
00:17:53,863 --> 00:17:55,949
Ooh! [Gasps] [Thud]
472
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,325
Yay!
Hooray!
473
00:17:57,492 --> 00:17:59,327
[Thud] Ooh! [Gasps]
474
00:17:59,494 --> 00:18:00,453
Yay!
Hooray!
475
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,664
[Thud] Oh! Ooh!
476
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,417
Yay! Yay! Hooray!
477
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,970
Hey. What are you doing
hiding over--ok.
478
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,388
Back off.
479
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:21,474
I am a flag.
480
00:18:21,641 --> 00:18:22,892
Are you gonna streak?
481
00:18:23,059 --> 00:18:24,894
No. We took a vote,
and it's unanimous.
482
00:18:25,061 --> 00:18:27,272
We're all
very chicken.
483
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:28,481
That's too bad.
484
00:18:28,648 --> 00:18:31,067
It's been a while since
I've seen you naked.
485
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:32,944
You've never
seen me naked.
486
00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:34,738
A gazillion times.
487
00:18:34,904 --> 00:18:35,697
We were kids,
488
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,198
and you were always running
around the neighborhood naked
489
00:18:37,365 --> 00:18:40,076
screaming
"wee wee! Pee pee!"
490
00:18:40,243 --> 00:18:41,870
It was funny.
491
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:44,748
Now it's time for the qanda
portion of our program.
492
00:18:44,914 --> 00:18:46,916
First up, I'd like to
introduce red forman.
493
00:18:46,916 --> 00:18:48,752
First up, I'd like to
introduce red forman.
494
00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:51,546
Red is the father
of two wonderful children,
495
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,465
and how he's managed
to keep them clothed
496
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,508
and fed while being cut back
to half-time at the plant
497
00:18:55,675 --> 00:18:57,594
is beyond me.
498
00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:59,888
But he doesn't blame the
president for his misfortune.
499
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:02,932
No, sir.
He only blames himself.
500
00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:05,268
I give you red forman.
501
00:19:17,947 --> 00:19:19,616
Um...
502
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:20,909
[Microphone feedback]
503
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,459
Ahem.
504
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:31,586
Mr., uh, president...
505
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,338
Ahem.
506
00:19:35,298 --> 00:19:37,133
I, uh...
507
00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:41,554
I, uh...
508
00:19:41,846 --> 00:19:43,848
[In slow motion]
Come on, red.
509
00:19:43,848 --> 00:19:46,851
[In slow motion]
Come on, red.
510
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,105
Your dad is bombing.
511
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,899
Your dad is bombing.
512
00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,511
Wee wee!
513
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:22,679
Pee pee!
514
00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:23,930
Wee wee!
515
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:26,808
Pee pee!
516
00:20:28,184 --> 00:20:30,395
Aah!
517
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,365
Hey, Gerry.
518
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,909
Here's my question.
519
00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:47,078
How the hell could
you pardon Nixon?
520
00:20:47,078 --> 00:20:48,538
How the hell could
you pardon Nixon?
521
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,052
Hey, son.
522
00:21:03,219 --> 00:21:04,596
Hi, dad.
523
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,765
Hey, um, good job
at the rally today.
524
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,016
Hey, um, good job
at the rally today.
525
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,517
Not bad.
526
00:21:09,684 --> 00:21:11,686
I kinda stumbled there
at the start, but, uh..
527
00:21:11,686 --> 00:21:13,521
I kinda stumbled there
at the start, but, uh..
528
00:21:13,688 --> 00:21:16,524
I think I nailed him
with a good one.
529
00:21:16,691 --> 00:21:18,860
Well, anyway, it was...
530
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:21,196
It was pretty cool.
531
00:21:21,362 --> 00:21:23,782
Yeah, well...
532
00:21:23,948 --> 00:21:25,950
Sometimes a man's
gotta do...
533
00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:27,410
Sometimes a man's
gotta do...
534
00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:29,579
What he thinks is right.
535
00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:31,039
What he thinks is right.
536
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:34,959
Yeah. I'm gonna
call it a night.
537
00:21:35,126 --> 00:21:37,337
All right, son.
538
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,589
Good night.
539
00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:41,800
Good night, dad.
540
00:21:43,009 --> 00:21:44,135
Oh, and, uh...
541
00:21:44,302 --> 00:21:45,845
Next time, don't
wear black socks.
542
00:21:46,012 --> 00:21:48,431
You looked like an ass.
543
00:21:57,774 --> 00:21:59,818
How could they
not catch you?
544
00:21:59,984 --> 00:22:01,986
I guess no one wants
to tackle a naked guy.
545
00:22:01,986 --> 00:22:04,155
I guess no one wants
to tackle a naked guy.
546
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:07,116
So true.
547
00:22:07,283 --> 00:22:08,827
Hey, you didn't, uh...
548
00:22:08,993 --> 00:22:10,203
You didn't see anything,
did you?
549
00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:11,955
No.
550
00:22:13,414 --> 00:22:15,208
Well...
551
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:17,001
Maybe just a bit,
552
00:22:17,168 --> 00:22:19,963
but not--not the bit.
553
00:22:22,048 --> 00:22:23,883
Wait. What do you
mean "bit"?
554
00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:25,510
Captioning made possible by carsey-Werner
productions and fox broadcasting company
555
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:27,136
captioning performed by the
national captioning institute, inc.
556
00:22:27,303 --> 00:22:28,888
Public performance of captions prohibited without
permission of national captioning institute
557
00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:33,912
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