1 00:00:00,660 --> 00:00:02,080 Hey, do we have plans this Saturday? 2 00:00:02,420 --> 00:00:05,460 Yeah, my friend Tracy's having a pool party. I was kind of hoping we could go. 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:06,459 Oh, yeah, good. 4 00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:09,160 I wouldn't miss it for the world. Really? I thought you hated my friend 5 00:00:09,420 --> 00:00:12,200 I do, but so does her husband, so we have a lot of things to talk about. 6 00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:16,580 Besides, anything would be better than going to this movie premiere that Mr. 7 00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:18,800 Savitsky wants me to go to. A movie premiere? 8 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:20,560 That sounds like fun. 9 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,340 Well, not when you have to go all the time. This will be the third one this 10 00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:24,580 month. I don't want to do it anymore. 11 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:28,120 Sick of the crowds, the traffic, walking down the red carpet. 12 00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:29,420 Well, I thought that'd be fun. 13 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:32,940 You would think so until you hear 50 angry paparazzi yelling, get out of the 14 00:00:32,940 --> 00:00:33,940 way, nobody. 15 00:00:35,340 --> 00:00:38,000 That's not true. That one photographer took your picture once. 16 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,660 Thought Greg was Mr. Bean. 17 00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:44,580 There was a bee chasing me, Kim. Of course I'm going to act a little spazzy. 18 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:48,720 Wait a minute, isn't Mr. Savitsky expecting you to be there? No, he's 19 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,320 be out of town this weekend, so he's not going to be there either. It's the 20 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,980 perfect one for me to miss. Besides, the only reason I go is for him to see me 21 00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:55,699 there anyway. 22 00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:58,140 Oh, great. I'll call Tracy and tell her you want to come. Good. 23 00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:03,080 Oh, Kim, do you know where my Mark Spitz American flag bathing suit is? 24 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:06,980 I don't want to tell you this again. 25 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,800 It was a Valentine's Day gift, and it was a joke. 26 00:01:16,390 --> 00:01:17,550 Greg's kind of jaded, huh? 27 00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:21,430 Yeah, imagine going to so many Hollywood premieres that you actually get sick of 28 00:01:21,430 --> 00:01:23,150 them. I'd like to know what it's like to go to just one. 29 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:24,410 Me too. 30 00:01:27,210 --> 00:01:29,590 Of course, we could never get in unless we had badges. 31 00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:43,390 Would you like to go to a premiere, Mrs. Kim Warner? 32 00:01:44,210 --> 00:01:45,210 Thank you. 33 00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:47,340 Mr. Greg Warner. 34 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,980 All right, now that we're going to be pretending to be Greg and Kim on 35 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:55,560 night, we should probably get a little practice pretending to be them tonight. 36 00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:58,040 What, like going to bed without doing it? 37 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,000 You know, it's been a long day. I'm tired. 38 00:02:28,339 --> 00:02:30,380 I told Tracy we'd be over around five. 39 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,040 Okay, great. Hey, is your friend Monica going to be there? Yeah, I guess so. You 40 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,040 think she's going to want to swim? 41 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:38,460 What, you want to see Monica's new boobs in her bathing suit? 42 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,540 No, no, not in her bathing suit. 43 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,100 Okay, guys, we're going out. 44 00:02:45,879 --> 00:02:49,380 We got a sitter out back with Dominic and Logan. Have fun at the pool party. 45 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,060 Thanks. What are you guys up to tonight? 46 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:52,920 Just going to go to dinner with some friends. 47 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:54,840 Oh, yeah? Where are you going? 48 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:57,720 P .F. Chang's. 49 00:02:58,340 --> 00:03:01,960 P .F. Chang Hooters. 50 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,940 It's a new hybrid restaurant. 51 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,660 Yeah, there's no MSG in the food and there's no silicone in the waitresses. 52 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:20,960 Not one person who couldn't work there. 53 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:23,800 Good night. 54 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,640 All right, looks like we're clear. 55 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:30,140 I can't believe we're going to a big Hollywood movie premiere. This is going 56 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:30,959 be so glamorous. 57 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,760 That's right, baby. Get ready for the richest night of your life. Now, come 58 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,300 Our clothes are in a garbage bag in my trunk. 59 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,060 We can get changed behind the dumpster at the Arco station. 60 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,580 Oh, excuse me. Yeah. Take some more of those. 61 00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:50,290 Thank you. 62 00:03:53,930 --> 00:03:57,970 Jimmy, you're eating duck pate. Do you know what part of the duck that comes 63 00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:01,590 from? Well, as long as it's not feet, beak, or butt, I'm okay. 64 00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,910 Billy, what are you doing here? 65 00:04:06,610 --> 00:04:09,630 Security. What are you guys doing here? Greg and Kim weren't coming, so we're 66 00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:10,650 using their ID badges. 67 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:15,450 Using false identification to gain entry into an invitation -only event? That's 68 00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:19,070 a Class A security breach. Now that I know this, I'm obligated to ask you to 69 00:04:19,070 --> 00:04:20,769 leave. Shrimp wrapped in bacon? 70 00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:22,310 Enjoy your movie, Mr. Warner. 71 00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:27,270 So, Billy, when did you start doing security for these movie engineers? 72 00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:30,190 Oh, this is the first time. It's a good way to pick up a little extra cash. What 73 00:04:30,190 --> 00:04:31,190 is it, like double overtime? 74 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,109 No, not that. 75 00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:35,230 I've been using my camera phone to take pictures of celebrities to sell to the 76 00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:36,230 tabloids. 77 00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:37,469 Check it out. 78 00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:39,810 I got a shot of Laura Flynn Boyle getting out of the limo. 79 00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:42,830 You could see her better if the car antenna hadn't gotten away. 80 00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:50,590 Is this the free food and drinks we're in up now, goody bags? 81 00:04:50,950 --> 00:04:55,150 Look at this stuff. They got a T -shirt, a poster, press kit. 82 00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:57,410 All kinds of free stuff. 83 00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:00,330 Mmm, this yogurt is delicious. 84 00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:04,950 Jimmy, that's apricot face scrub. 85 00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:22,650 So you know anything about this movie? 86 00:05:23,230 --> 00:05:24,230 No, not really. 87 00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:26,470 Let's go to the press kit. Okay. 88 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,410 Let's see. 89 00:05:28,470 --> 00:05:31,210 Takes place in a POW camp during World War II. 90 00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:33,110 War movie, that's cool. 91 00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:37,770 It's the story of a U .S. Army sergeant who used to be a circus clown who 92 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:41,150 teaches his platoon the value of laughter even in the darkest of 93 00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:43,030 Sounds inspirational. 94 00:05:43,770 --> 00:05:44,770 I hope it's good. 95 00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:47,910 Are you kidding me? The studio wouldn't go to all this trouble for nothing. I 96 00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:48,910 bet this is going to be great. 97 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:55,960 Jimmy, wait. 98 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,400 My shoulder. 99 00:05:57,860 --> 00:06:01,080 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This movie is just so horrible. 100 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,380 It's so corny and lame. 101 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,800 Come on, guys. Turn those frowns upside down. 102 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,800 Just drop it, Sarge. Can't you see? Since they killed Johnson, none of us 103 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:11,800 the will to go on. 104 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:13,500 You know what? Maybe you're right. 105 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:14,860 Maybe I should just give up. 106 00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:16,900 Here we go. 107 00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,900 You're just pretending to be giving up, but just you wait. 108 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,160 Well, I guess there's nothing left for me to do now but sit here on my cot and 109 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,700 enjoy this can of mixed nuts. 110 00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:28,580 Huh. I can't seem to get it open. Would you help me, Private? 111 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:29,840 Sure. 112 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,340 Oh, my God. Gotcha. 113 00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:38,120 I can't watch any more of this. I'm going to go take a walk. How can you sit 114 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,260 here? It may be terrible, all right, but it's the first movie I've seen in three 115 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:42,520 years that didn't have a singing crab. 116 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,359 love it, Kevin. 117 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,600 They love the movie. 118 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:58,320 I know a lot of people wondered, could Kevin Smith make a great war movie? 119 00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:01,080 Well, Kevin Smith did. 120 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:06,460 Thanks, man. I feel the picture lacks a distinct sound of Bob Essence, but I'm 121 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,940 actually kind of happy with it. Well, you should be proud. I'm telling you, 122 00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:11,900 they're going to give you the Oscar for this one. I don't know, man. Oscars? I 123 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:14,660 didn't make this movie to get awards, you know? It was never meant to be more 124 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:18,920 than a simple character study that inspired who am I kidding? It's the Fat 125 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:19,920 Year! 126 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:24,639 How's it going? 127 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:25,860 Not too bad, not too bad. 128 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,480 How about this movie? 129 00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,100 How about it? 130 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:30,720 Wow. 131 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,560 Wow, good? 132 00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:35,320 This is a stinkeroo. 133 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,640 Doing this? 134 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,200 About the only chance I got of staying awake through this garbage. 135 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:44,920 Really? You didn't like it? 136 00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:49,020 Oh, God, sitting in there, I feel like I'm the one in the prisoner of war camp. 137 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,000 I wish somebody would come and rescue me. 138 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,900 That's a good one. 139 00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:56,380 No, I'm serious, man. 140 00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:58,000 The story is stupid. 141 00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,920 The effects are totally fake. 142 00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:03,080 Half the camera shots, you can't even tell what you're looking at. I mean, did 143 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,400 this guy go to film school or what? 144 00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:07,540 Well, he did, but, you know, he dropped out. 145 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,000 It shows. 146 00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:13,580 This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I think Abe Lincoln had a 147 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,780 time in the theater than I had tonight. 148 00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:19,500 Listen to you. You just put it all out on front street, man. You don't hold 149 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,660 back, do you? No, no. Greg. No. 150 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,080 You know what we're going to say when we get back to the office? What? 151 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,960 This movie didn't get released. 152 00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:27,260 It escaped. 153 00:08:30,740 --> 00:08:31,820 You're making them cry. 154 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,179 Kevin Smith is making them cry. 155 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,780 Congratulations. Do you know a Greg Warner? 156 00:08:38,179 --> 00:08:39,179 Yeah, he's my boss. 157 00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:42,520 Well, it couldn't have possibly been any more insulting. 158 00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:47,800 Hey, thought of another one. When they say coming to a theater near you, move. 159 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,200 Hey, Mr. Savitsky. Hey, Jimmy. 160 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:05,520 So, Warner, did you have fun at that premiere I sent you to? Oh, yeah, yeah, 161 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,520 had a great time. 162 00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:08,320 We had a really great time. 163 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:13,560 Did you have any interesting conversations while you were there? 164 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,880 when you send me to these things, I go as a representative of the studio, so I 165 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,380 feel like it's my duty to talk to as many people as I can. 166 00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:23,040 Did you talk to Kevin Smith, the director? 167 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,060 Yeah, good guy, good guy. 168 00:09:28,550 --> 00:09:32,070 When? I just got off the phone with Kevin Smith. He said you went up to him 169 00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:34,550 the bathroom and told him his movie was a giant piece of crap. 170 00:09:34,850 --> 00:09:35,850 Oh, my God. 171 00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:38,530 I know. It's horrible. 172 00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,210 He's threatening never to work with us again. 173 00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:44,690 Well, I'm sure that... You said watching it you felt like a prisoner of war. 174 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:47,190 You told him to go back to film school. 175 00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:49,390 Why would you do that, Warner? 176 00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:52,330 Well, I'm going to have to get back to you on that, sir. 177 00:09:53,790 --> 00:09:56,410 I've got to figure out some kind of damage control. 178 00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:59,150 You'll be lucky if I don't fire you for this. 179 00:10:00,510 --> 00:10:02,410 What the hell is going on? 180 00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:06,970 Look, obviously there's been some sort of misunderstanding, but you gotta keep 181 00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:11,110 your emotions in check. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this, 182 00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:14,610 and when you find out what it is, it's important that you remain calm. 183 00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:18,570 What did you do? 184 00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:22,650 Okay, okay, look, Christine and I used your badges, and we went to the 185 00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:23,650 premieres, you and Kim. 186 00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:24,649 What? What? 187 00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:29,310 Look, I'm sorry. I just thought it was a waste not to use the tickets, and so I 188 00:10:29,310 --> 00:10:32,090 ended up in the bathroom talking to some guy, but I didn't know he was the 189 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:35,130 director. If anything, you look like that guy with the beard from that movie 190 00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:37,050 Chasing Amy. That is Kevin Smith. 191 00:10:37,490 --> 00:10:41,510 Oh. He's a good actor. Yeah, he must have seen your ID badge and thought you 192 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,750 were Greg Warner. Look, Greg, I'm sorry. I know I messed up. Messed up? You 193 00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,970 might have cost me my job. I don't believe this. First you take over the 194 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:51,310 house, then you take my identity. What's next? You gonna slit me open, use me as 195 00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,310 a sleeping bag? 196 00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:57,890 Look, Greg, I made a mistake, and I'm man enough to admit that, and I promise 197 00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:01,290 I'll take full responsibility for everything that's happened. Then good. 198 00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:03,170 go tell Savitsky. Wait a second. 199 00:11:05,170 --> 00:11:09,550 Between you and me, between you and me, I'm going to take full responsibility. 200 00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:13,330 I don't want to get fired. Jimmy, what do you think is going to be worse for 201 00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:15,610 you? You getting fired or me getting fired? 202 00:11:16,490 --> 00:11:17,610 But I like my job. 203 00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:21,770 Let me explain something to you. When the host's body dies, the parasites that 204 00:11:21,770 --> 00:11:23,030 feed upon it go hungry. 205 00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:31,060 What? Do you understand the effect that will have on the delicate equilibrium of 206 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:32,180 our domestic ecosystem? 207 00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:35,180 Huh? 208 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:37,620 Me no work, you no eat. 209 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,740 Hey, Mr. Savitsky. 210 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,620 What is it, Warner? You want me to get Spielberg on the line so you can call 211 00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:48,620 a schmuck? 212 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,900 I'm glad to see you've kept your sense of humor about this. 213 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,480 Actually, right now I'm thinking about strangling you with my tie. 214 00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:58,700 Now listen, I just got off the phone with Kevin Smith. 215 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,820 He's agreed to come over here tomorrow so you can apologize to him face to 216 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,400 And so help me, you're going to tell him whatever you have to to make things 217 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,920 right. Actually, I'm not going to be the one apologizing. You better hope you 218 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,900 can run faster than I can untie a winch or not. 219 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,840 Whoa, whoa, whoa, there's been some new information that has come up. 220 00:12:15,060 --> 00:12:17,780 It wasn't Greg who said those things to Kevin Smith, it was me. 221 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,660 You? Yeah, I took Greg's ID badge and went to the premiere without him 222 00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:26,810 And I didn't realize I was talking to Kevin Smith when I said those things. I 223 00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:28,610 feel terrible. 224 00:12:28,990 --> 00:12:32,690 See, so Jimmy's the one you should be mad at. I had nothing to do with it. The 225 00:12:32,690 --> 00:12:34,790 truth is, I'm a victim here, too. 226 00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:37,070 Shut up, Warner. 227 00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:40,970 You're not off the hook. When I tell you to go to a premiere, I expect you to 228 00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:44,770 go, not blow it off, and then lie to my face. Good point, sir. Well taken. 229 00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:47,270 All right, here's what we're going to do. 230 00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:50,730 If Kevin thinks you're Greg, tomorrow you're going to be Greg. 231 00:12:51,210 --> 00:12:54,490 You're going to put on a suit and a tie, sit in Greg's office, and apologize. 232 00:12:55,370 --> 00:12:58,370 Wait a minute. If he's going to be me, what should I do? Be him. 233 00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:00,970 We're going to be short a security guard at the front gate tomorrow. 234 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:04,750 You want me to work as a security guard? Why don't you just get one of the other 235 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:05,990 guards to cover Jimmy's shift? 236 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:08,110 I could, but I'm not going to. 237 00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:12,490 Maybe sitting in a tiny booth, breathing in car exhaust, and pushing a button 238 00:13:12,490 --> 00:13:15,150 like an orangutan might teach you some humility. 239 00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:18,130 No offense, Jimmy. 240 00:13:20,810 --> 00:13:21,810 Okay. 241 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:28,030 Listen, Mr. Savitsky, the thing is about me and Greg tomorrow, I don't actually 242 00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:29,030 own a suit. 243 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:35,590 Beverly, tomorrow is now Casual Thursday. 244 00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:37,610 Put on a memo, will you? 245 00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:42,270 Okay, good. So if tomorrow's Casual Thursday, that means the guards won't 246 00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:43,650 to wear their normal uniforms, right? 247 00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:47,030 Warner, you keep talking, you're going to be working that guard gate in a thong 248 00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:48,090 and a beefeater hat. 249 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,600 Watch your step, everyone. Barney Fife is here. 250 00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:02,980 Very funny, Aunt Biatch. 251 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,140 I can't believe I have to do this. 252 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,180 Oh, it's just for one day. Come on, sit down. I'll make you breakfast. 253 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:12,680 Actually, I don't think you have time for breakfast. 254 00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,560 What are you talking about? I don't have to be there till 10. 255 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,100 Yeah, you mean Greg Warner doesn't have to be in till 10. 256 00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:21,060 Jimmy Hughes' shift starts at 8 .30. 257 00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:22,420 What? 258 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:23,840 Sorry. 259 00:14:25,069 --> 00:14:29,430 You should probably get a move on. You've been late to work twice already 260 00:14:29,430 --> 00:14:30,430 week. 261 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:38,410 First thing we do every morning is read the paper cover to cover. Make sure the 262 00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,190 government hasn't issued any new terror alerts. 263 00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:42,610 I'm going to start with the sports section. 264 00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:47,010 I don't want to be out here where people can see me. I'm going to be in here. 265 00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:50,210 Well, as long as you're in there, why don't you alphabetize the drive -on 266 00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:53,490 passes? Wouldn't it make more sense to sort them by time of arrival? 267 00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:57,840 What? No, people don't drive up here alphabetically. They drive up here 268 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,600 according to what time they're supposed to be here. 269 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:03,140 Look, Greg, we got our own way of doing things down here, okay? It might not be 270 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,540 the right way, but we've memorized it and we're done learning. 271 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,180 Good morning, Mr. Savitsky. Good morning, Billy. Hey, where's Warner? 272 00:15:10,180 --> 00:15:11,180 supposed to be working with you. 273 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:12,500 Right here, sir. 274 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:16,300 I told you I wanted you to be a security guard. Now be a security guard and sit 275 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,219 on that stool. 276 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,780 Okay, sure. No problem. 277 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,740 All right, now hit the button and open the gate for me. 278 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:27,220 Now tell me to have a good one. 279 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,720 Say it, Warner. 280 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:30,920 Have a good one. 281 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:32,960 Like you mean it. 282 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,060 Have a good one. 283 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:36,960 Thanks, you too. 284 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,260 Hey, fellas, how's it going? 285 00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:46,540 Well, well, check it out. One of the big executives actually rolled down his 286 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:47,540 window to chat with us. 287 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,000 Yeah, that hasn't happened since Michael Eisner rolled his window down and spit 288 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,000 his gum into my hand. 289 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,060 I still got it. 290 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,700 Hey, Greg, how's it going? Greg, Greg, listen, you better not screw this up. 291 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,880 Don't worry about it. I know how important this is. 292 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,440 Jimmy, check this out. I had the funniest dream last night, right? I'm 293 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,540 down this long hallway full of doors. Listen, Roy, I got a meeting. I really 294 00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:09,680 don't have time right now. Can you just open the gate with me? 295 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,140 Executives. 296 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,970 Yeah, hi. I got a meeting on the lot today. My name's Kevin Smith. 297 00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:28,590 Wow. I can't believe I'm talking to you. It's quite a thrill for me. You've done 298 00:16:28,590 --> 00:16:29,850 so many movies that I love. 299 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,750 Clerks, Chasing Amy, Mallrats. 300 00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:35,430 Mallrats. Dude, now I know you're kidding. Where's the camera? I'm being 301 00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:36,430 ain't I? 302 00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:37,519 No, I'm serious. 303 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,480 I love it. You're a great writer and director, but what a lot of people don't 304 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,020 know is you're also a terrific producer. 305 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,800 You've done so many great movies on such low budgets. 306 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,520 Right on, man. Thank you very much. 307 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,600 Yeah, like Clerks. I mean, that won the Filmmaker's Trophy at Sundance, and you 308 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:51,960 made it for under $30 ,000. 309 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,480 You're pretty up on this stuff. 310 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,780 Yeah, well, it helps to know the ins and outs of the film production business. 311 00:16:56,860 --> 00:16:57,860 It helps me with my job. 312 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,640 Making a little gate go up and down. 313 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,040 You got to start somewhere. 314 00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:05,240 That's true. So on the list today, you're meeting Greg Warner. 315 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,520 Terrific guy. 316 00:17:06,579 --> 00:17:10,240 Just sometimes he gets off his medication, starts talking all crazy. 317 00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:13,119 You know, he has two kids at home and Lyme disease. 318 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,740 Almost lost a leg. 319 00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:18,020 Have a good one. 320 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,900 Man, what kind of studio you run in here, George? Everyone's walking around 321 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,260 shorts and T -shirts. Well, it's a casual Thursday. 322 00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,790 Just like Casual Friday, but a day earlier. 323 00:17:34,590 --> 00:17:35,630 We got it from the Japanese. 324 00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,190 You remember Greg Warner? 325 00:17:38,830 --> 00:17:42,650 Greg Warner? Let me think, let me think. Oh, yeah, he's the chucklehead who told 326 00:17:42,650 --> 00:17:45,770 me my movie was, and I quote, a stinkeroo. 327 00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:51,110 Hi, Mr. Smith. Look, I'm sorry about those things that I said. 328 00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:54,750 I don't know why I said them. Now that I've had a chance to think about it, I 329 00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:56,350 really actually love your movie. 330 00:17:56,730 --> 00:17:59,370 I really think it's probably one of the best movies you've ever made. 331 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:00,870 And not that I don't... 332 00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:02,110 Love all your other movies. 333 00:18:02,410 --> 00:18:04,990 And not that I love everything you do blindly. 334 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:07,030 And not that I don't. 335 00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:11,270 Now, listen, man, I was up all night thinking about it, and you're right. 336 00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:12,290 movie stinks on ice. 337 00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:14,970 What do you mean? All the other executives said it was great. 338 00:18:15,190 --> 00:18:17,170 That's just because they're all sucking up to you, George. 339 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,570 This movie's terrible. 340 00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:20,230 I don't know what I was thinking. 341 00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:24,230 I mean, in hindsight, not even a clown would unicycle through a minefield. 342 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,540 You'd have known this if you bothered to show up to the premiere the other 343 00:18:29,540 --> 00:18:33,220 night. Well, I would have been at the premiere, but I was volunteering at the 344 00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:37,740 Veterans Pediatric Animal Hospital. 345 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:42,720 Greg here is the only guy with the stones to tell it like it is, man. I'm 346 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,700 to see you finally hired an executive around here who knows what he's doing. 347 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:50,860 And thanks to his fierce integrity, I'm going to need an extra $10 million for a 348 00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:51,860 month of reshoots. 349 00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:55,960 Sure, Kevin, whatever you want. Thanks, George. 350 00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:02,450 I'd make you pay for this out of your salary if it wouldn't take 200 years. 351 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:09,370 Now, listen, in the guard gate, we kind of rotate on who buys lunch. Now, I got 352 00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:13,730 it yesterday, and Roy got it the day before, so I guess you're buying it. I 353 00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:16,770 won't be here for lunch. As soon as Jimmy straightens out this mess, I'm 354 00:19:16,770 --> 00:19:17,910 being a security guard. 355 00:19:19,090 --> 00:19:22,530 Oh, well, it's your last day. We should get a cake. 356 00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:26,590 Yeah, and I bought the last cake, and Billy bought the one before that, so 357 00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:35,520 Oh, George, I had an excellent chit -chat this morning. One of the security 358 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,400 guards at the front gate, smart guy, seemed to have a lot on the ball. 359 00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:44,380 Yeah? Tall, skinny dude, kind of looked like Ben Affleck before all the cosmetic 360 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,380 surgeries. 361 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:50,280 Oh, yeah, I know who you're talking about. I'd like him to work security for 362 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,040 during the reshoots. No problem. He's yours for the month. 363 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,700 Tonight we were thrilled to have special guest Kevin Smith on our show. 364 00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:05,260 And here tonight, he has graciously agreed to reprise his famous role from 365 00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:06,260 several films. 366 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,620 Ladies and gentlemen, Silent Bob.