1 00:00:41,429 --> 00:00:42,430 Eddie, you want to pass these out 2 00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:43,932 - to the guys there? Thanks. - Sure. 3 00:00:43,932 --> 00:00:47,036 That's it, prison cell. Really give it to him. 4 00:00:47,036 --> 00:00:50,240 Remember, he's in for 10 years hard labour. 5 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,544 Uh, guys in the elevator? 6 00:00:52,544 --> 00:00:55,548 Yeah, don't let our members down. Keep it up. 7 00:00:55,548 --> 00:00:58,050 Michael, don't cross in front of the camera. Thanks. 8 00:00:59,053 --> 00:01:01,657 Men on the oral reef? Splash down. 9 00:01:03,058 --> 00:01:05,562 Easy, merman, easy. 10 00:01:06,062 --> 00:01:09,067 Keep it liquid. 11 00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:10,068 That's it. 12 00:01:14,072 --> 00:01:16,075 Mind if I ask you a question, Ted? 13 00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:17,878 - Shoot. - Oh yeah. 14 00:01:17,888 --> 00:01:19,868 Not you. 15 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,883 - Sorry, Ted. - You. 16 00:01:21,883 --> 00:01:24,387 How do you get any work done with all these... 17 00:01:24,387 --> 00:01:26,379 hot, horny guys surrounding you? 18 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:27,391 Yeah, if it were me, 19 00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:28,392 I'd have a permanent boner. 20 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:29,894 Thought you already did. 21 00:01:29,894 --> 00:01:32,097 Hot and horny action is my work. 22 00:01:32,097 --> 00:01:35,101 Ahh... it's like a dream come true. 23 00:01:35,101 --> 00:01:37,103 I can guess what kind of dream. 24 00:01:37,605 --> 00:01:39,608 Whoever thought that you, Theodore Schmidt, 25 00:01:39,608 --> 00:01:42,111 loser, reject, putz, 26 00:01:42,111 --> 00:01:45,014 would wind up being the luckiest fucker in the world? 27 00:01:45,114 --> 00:01:48,119 Do I detect a note of envy? Bri? 28 00:01:49,621 --> 00:01:52,124 I gotta get back to work. 29 00:01:52,124 --> 00:01:54,127 I have a new account. 30 00:01:54,127 --> 00:01:55,629 Baby wipes. 31 00:01:55,629 --> 00:01:56,631 Yeah, I got... 32 00:01:56,631 --> 00:01:58,133 Comic books I gotta unpack 33 00:01:58,133 --> 00:01:59,134 and file and display 34 00:01:59,134 --> 00:02:00,636 and then pack and file and display... 35 00:02:00,636 --> 00:02:02,138 - Mr. Schmidt. - Well, as for me... 36 00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:04,141 - There you are. - Thank you, Eddie. 37 00:02:04,141 --> 00:02:06,144 I've got, uh, let's see. 38 00:02:06,144 --> 00:02:09,147 "Rim-O-Rama" from 2:00 to 5:00, 39 00:02:09,147 --> 00:02:10,650 I've got "Dildo Daze", 40 00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:12,653 spelled D-A-Z-E. 41 00:02:12,653 --> 00:02:14,655 Isn't that cute? 42 00:02:14,655 --> 00:02:16,156 From 6:00 to 9:00... 43 00:02:16,156 --> 00:02:17,658 Thanks for not rubbing our noses in it. 44 00:02:17,658 --> 00:02:19,661 You're welcome. 45 00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:21,653 Ah, I'd ask you boys to stay, 46 00:02:21,664 --> 00:02:23,667 but I know you need to toddle on back 47 00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:28,172 to your lacklustre little lives. 48 00:02:28,172 --> 00:02:29,174 Try not to work too hard. 49 00:02:29,174 --> 00:02:30,680 Fucker. 50 00:02:36,584 --> 00:02:40,590 You know you make love like you play your violin? 51 00:02:40,590 --> 00:02:43,093 With an accompanist in front of a cheering audience? 52 00:02:43,093 --> 00:02:46,087 On the street corner for cash? 53 00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:50,603 Like you're in a trance. 54 00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,806 With your eyes closed. 55 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:57,313 And you're my instrument. 56 00:02:57,313 --> 00:03:00,817 First I tune you... 57 00:03:00,817 --> 00:03:05,022 and then I stroke you with my bow... 58 00:03:08,327 --> 00:03:11,840 and then I make beautiful sounds pour out of you. 59 00:03:24,348 --> 00:03:26,761 I have to go. 60 00:03:33,761 --> 00:03:36,265 - You have big plans tonight? - Oh, yeah. 61 00:03:36,265 --> 00:03:38,769 A date with copy-boy. 62 00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:40,771 I'm running off posters for my comic book. 63 00:03:40,771 --> 00:03:43,274 That's awesome. 64 00:03:43,274 --> 00:03:45,967 We're going to plaster Liberty Avenue, try to sell some of it. 65 00:03:45,978 --> 00:03:47,080 Well maybe we could work together. 66 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,582 I fiddle, you peddle. 67 00:03:48,582 --> 00:03:50,083 Starving Artists Inc. 68 00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:51,689 That's us. 69 00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:09,510 You know, if you stayed sometime... 70 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,513 we could wake up together, 71 00:04:11,513 --> 00:04:13,515 watch the sun rise. 72 00:04:13,515 --> 00:04:16,529 Makes everything red and gold. 73 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,035 Yes. 74 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:32,741 You are so good. 75 00:04:32,741 --> 00:04:37,045 Hey, how come when I got a strike, I didn't get one of those? 76 00:04:37,048 --> 00:04:39,550 Hey, Donna. How come when Horvath got a strike, 77 00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:40,551 he didn't get one of those? 78 00:04:43,055 --> 00:04:44,557 Come here. 79 00:04:44,557 --> 00:04:48,562 Oh, I'm up. 80 00:04:51,968 --> 00:04:54,971 Let's go, Deb. 81 00:04:58,977 --> 00:05:00,479 Love your balls. 82 00:05:00,479 --> 00:05:03,984 Thanks. 83 00:05:04,985 --> 00:05:08,490 Oh, my God! You did it! 84 00:05:08,490 --> 00:05:11,194 Fantastic! 85 00:05:11,194 --> 00:05:13,296 Let's see. 86 00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:17,602 Yes! All right, let's hear it for me! 87 00:05:17,602 --> 00:05:18,603 Oh, I'm so... 88 00:05:18,603 --> 00:05:21,606 Our lady of the lanes. 89 00:05:27,015 --> 00:05:28,017 Excuse me. 90 00:05:28,017 --> 00:05:32,018 But there happen to be a lot of really great gay bowlers. 91 00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:33,023 Name one. 92 00:05:33,023 --> 00:05:35,026 I'll name more than one. 93 00:05:35,026 --> 00:05:37,017 We have our own gay bowling team 94 00:05:37,028 --> 00:05:38,530 right here in Pittsburgh... 95 00:05:39,031 --> 00:05:40,032 The Liberty Balls. 96 00:05:40,032 --> 00:05:42,924 And they can knock the fucking pins out from under you. 97 00:05:42,937 --> 00:05:44,439 Hey, bring 'em on. 98 00:05:44,439 --> 00:05:46,942 Could we get back to our game, please? 99 00:05:46,942 --> 00:05:48,945 Any time, anywhere. 100 00:05:48,945 --> 00:05:51,448 How about... here, Friday night? 101 00:05:51,448 --> 00:05:52,951 Cops against the queers. 102 00:05:52,951 --> 00:05:55,954 Ah, forget it, it's a bad idea. 103 00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:57,957 Afraid they're gonna kick your ass? 104 00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:58,959 Trust me, 105 00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,562 won't be anywhere near my ass. 106 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:06,068 Come on. Who's next? 107 00:06:08,471 --> 00:06:09,973 How could we have been afraid 108 00:06:09,973 --> 00:06:11,976 that it would never be like this again? 109 00:06:11,976 --> 00:06:13,478 Leda was right. 110 00:06:13,478 --> 00:06:14,981 All we needed was a jump-start. 111 00:06:15,481 --> 00:06:18,484 She jumped us all right. 112 00:06:18,484 --> 00:06:20,486 I'm glad what happened, happened. 113 00:06:20,486 --> 00:06:21,488 You are? 114 00:06:21,488 --> 00:06:23,491 It made me realize... 115 00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:25,995 that despite our ups and downs, 116 00:06:25,995 --> 00:06:28,998 and the occasional dry spell, 117 00:06:28,998 --> 00:06:31,502 you're still the only one I ever want to be with. 118 00:06:31,502 --> 00:06:33,817 Oh, Mel. 119 00:06:41,817 --> 00:06:43,317 Hey, girls. 120 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:46,823 Leda? 121 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,326 Hi. 122 00:06:49,828 --> 00:06:50,829 I heard the floorboards 123 00:06:50,829 --> 00:06:52,330 squeaking overhead and... 124 00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:53,833 Our next renovation. 125 00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,334 And I figured, 126 00:06:55,334 --> 00:06:56,837 since you're up, 127 00:06:57,337 --> 00:06:59,841 why don't we have a little slumber party? 128 00:06:59,841 --> 00:07:02,845 Just us girls. 129 00:07:06,851 --> 00:07:09,353 Oh, gosh... there's Gus. 130 00:07:09,353 --> 00:07:12,362 I better go see what's wrong. 131 00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:22,872 Thanks for a good day's jerk. 132 00:07:23,372 --> 00:07:26,376 Here you go, for you. 133 00:07:26,376 --> 00:07:29,380 This is for you. 134 00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:32,284 Ulysses... 135 00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:34,787 Perseus... 136 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,794 Hercules... 137 00:07:39,294 --> 00:07:43,299 Stanley, thanks for a good day's jerk. 138 00:07:43,299 --> 00:07:44,801 I don't get it, Mr. Schmidt. 139 00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:46,303 Get what, Eddie? 140 00:07:46,303 --> 00:07:48,295 I overheard you telling your friends 141 00:07:48,306 --> 00:07:49,797 that it was like a dream come true 142 00:07:49,807 --> 00:07:51,810 being here with all these hot and horny guys. 143 00:07:53,813 --> 00:07:55,816 And yet... 144 00:07:55,816 --> 00:07:58,819 just now, when they all walk by you... 145 00:07:58,819 --> 00:08:00,322 you barely looked up. 146 00:08:00,322 --> 00:08:02,825 Well, I was passing out paycheques. 147 00:08:02,825 --> 00:08:05,830 You know... had to make sure the name went with the dick. 148 00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,836 But what about the other night? 149 00:08:10,836 --> 00:08:11,838 Other night? 150 00:08:11,838 --> 00:08:14,341 Don't you remember? 151 00:08:14,341 --> 00:08:16,844 "Duelling dicks"? 152 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,847 Over 12 hours of non-stop j.o. action? 153 00:08:19,349 --> 00:08:21,852 Oh, right. 154 00:08:21,852 --> 00:08:23,853 It had to have been one of the porn events of the century, 155 00:08:23,853 --> 00:08:25,355 and yet you just sat there. 156 00:08:25,355 --> 00:08:26,357 Doing your books. 157 00:08:26,357 --> 00:08:29,361 You didn't look up through the whole thing. 158 00:08:29,361 --> 00:08:32,365 Not once. 159 00:08:32,865 --> 00:08:36,371 Well that's... that's very observant... Eddie, but, uh, 160 00:08:36,371 --> 00:08:38,874 you have to understand, this is work. 161 00:08:38,874 --> 00:08:40,876 And I'm the boss. 162 00:08:41,377 --> 00:08:43,982 I have a professional demeanour I have to maintain. 163 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,985 However... 164 00:08:45,985 --> 00:08:47,996 it doesn't mean I wasn't loving every minute of it. 165 00:08:54,997 --> 00:08:56,498 Well... 166 00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:58,000 if you don't need me for anything else, 167 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,002 do you mind if I take off? 168 00:08:59,002 --> 00:09:02,006 Oh no, you go ahead. I'll lock up. 169 00:09:02,006 --> 00:09:04,512 Thanks, Mr. Schmidt. 170 00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:09,016 - See you tomorrow. - Yeah. 171 00:10:07,995 --> 00:10:09,998 You're working late. 172 00:10:09,998 --> 00:10:13,001 Well, that's one of the benefits of being a partner. 173 00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:15,494 You give someone something to do, they fuck it up 174 00:10:15,505 --> 00:10:17,508 and then you get to do it yourself. 175 00:10:17,508 --> 00:10:19,510 You asked for it. 176 00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:22,014 Yeah, and I got it. 177 00:10:22,014 --> 00:10:24,017 Where have you been? 178 00:10:24,017 --> 00:10:25,018 Studying. 179 00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:27,020 And I had to get these. 180 00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:29,523 What do you think? 181 00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:32,027 My own little advertising genius. 182 00:10:34,030 --> 00:10:35,531 I told you I'd help you. 183 00:10:36,032 --> 00:10:37,534 You're too busy. 184 00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:40,037 Come here. 185 00:10:40,037 --> 00:10:42,545 I have to shower, I stink. 186 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,550 From studying? 187 00:10:49,050 --> 00:10:51,569 Sweating over a project. 188 00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:05,072 You scared me. 189 00:11:05,072 --> 00:11:07,075 Relax. 190 00:11:07,075 --> 00:11:09,077 It's not that kind of a shower scene. 191 00:11:14,585 --> 00:11:17,088 I thought you had work to do. 192 00:11:17,088 --> 00:11:19,091 But I got all sweaty too. 193 00:11:26,601 --> 00:11:28,703 Brian? 194 00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:38,999 Thank God that he started crying. 195 00:12:38,999 --> 00:12:41,001 I've never been so happy hear him scream his lungs out. 196 00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:43,505 I mean, unfortunately we can't count on him to save us 197 00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:46,509 next time she shows up wanting to... dive in. 198 00:12:46,509 --> 00:12:48,511 We could always put a lock on the bedroom door. 199 00:12:48,511 --> 00:12:50,013 I'm serious. 200 00:12:50,024 --> 00:12:52,016 We're going to have to set up some sort of blockade. 201 00:12:52,016 --> 00:12:54,019 Well, the problem is she doesn't seem to realize 202 00:12:54,019 --> 00:12:56,022 - it was a one-time thing. - How could she not? 203 00:12:56,523 --> 00:12:58,024 It was just a spontaneous 204 00:12:58,024 --> 00:12:59,527 "I don't know how the hell it happened 205 00:12:59,527 --> 00:13:01,530 but there you are, doing it" sort of thing. 206 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,533 Well, we just need to be honest with her. 207 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,034 Okay. 208 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,035 You do it. 209 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:07,538 Me? What about you? 210 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:09,541 - You were there too. - I know, 211 00:13:09,541 --> 00:13:11,733 but you're much better at rejecting people than I am. 212 00:13:11,744 --> 00:13:12,345 Excuse me? 213 00:13:12,845 --> 00:13:14,947 I meant that in the highest form of praise. 214 00:13:14,947 --> 00:13:17,452 I mean, you're great when it comes to firing the sitter, 215 00:13:17,452 --> 00:13:18,953 or saying no to phone solicitors. 216 00:13:18,953 --> 00:13:20,456 I mean, how many times have you told your mother 217 00:13:20,956 --> 00:13:21,957 she can't come live with us? 218 00:13:21,957 --> 00:13:24,461 Oh, so in other words, you're a timid little shiksa. 219 00:13:24,461 --> 00:13:26,464 - That's me. - Well, this is a lot more difficult 220 00:13:26,464 --> 00:13:28,266 than telling the salvation army to take a hike. 221 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:29,769 Leda's a dear friend. Not only that, 222 00:13:29,769 --> 00:13:32,270 she's doing us a big favour. 223 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,673 Wait, that's it. 224 00:13:33,673 --> 00:13:35,776 The deal was, she could come stay with us 225 00:13:35,776 --> 00:13:37,779 while she was working on the studio, right? 226 00:13:37,779 --> 00:13:39,279 Right. 227 00:13:39,781 --> 00:13:42,785 The studio's practically done. 228 00:13:43,285 --> 00:13:45,790 So we don't say anything, and in a couple of days... 229 00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:47,792 Our problem moves out with her? 230 00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:50,295 Yes. 231 00:14:10,624 --> 00:14:13,627 Uh, we'll poster Gayopolis a lot faster if we split up. 232 00:14:13,627 --> 00:14:15,129 I'll get the other side of the street. 233 00:14:15,129 --> 00:14:17,751 - Good idea. - Okay. 234 00:14:30,751 --> 00:14:32,754 Hey, how's it going? 235 00:14:32,754 --> 00:14:34,756 Well, business is a little slow, 236 00:14:34,756 --> 00:14:37,058 but at least one devoted fan is here. 237 00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:38,059 Thanks. 238 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,864 Not you. Bertha. 239 00:14:41,364 --> 00:14:43,367 She never misses a performance. 240 00:14:45,269 --> 00:14:47,272 What've you got there? 241 00:14:47,272 --> 00:14:48,273 Posters. 242 00:14:48,273 --> 00:14:52,279 Ah, for your comic book. "Rage". 243 00:14:52,279 --> 00:14:54,782 I'm hoping to sell enough to pay for tuition next year. 244 00:14:54,782 --> 00:14:55,784 Well, you never know. 245 00:14:57,794 --> 00:14:58,287 I hear the guys who did "The X-Men" made a fortune. 246 00:14:58,287 --> 00:15:01,292 Hey, you want to go get a latte? 247 00:15:01,292 --> 00:15:02,793 I can't, I have to put these up. 248 00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:06,788 Okay, well maybe this weekend we can go see a movie. 249 00:15:06,799 --> 00:15:08,702 You like French films? 250 00:15:08,702 --> 00:15:10,203 I've never been to one. 251 00:15:10,203 --> 00:15:13,007 Never been? Peasant. 252 00:15:13,007 --> 00:15:16,012 The student film society is having a truffaut retrospective. 253 00:15:16,012 --> 00:15:18,014 They're showing "Jules et Jim". 254 00:15:18,014 --> 00:15:21,018 A story about two men in love with the same woman. 255 00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:23,522 Only if you'll notice, her name's not in the title 256 00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:27,026 which leads me to believe that they're in love with each other. 257 00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:30,031 It's hard enough loving one person. 258 00:15:30,031 --> 00:15:32,034 But if you're the one the other two are in love with, 259 00:15:32,034 --> 00:15:34,458 then you can break both their hearts. 260 00:15:50,458 --> 00:15:52,460 - I'll call you about the weekend. - Sure. 261 00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:54,263 That's cool. "Jules et Jim," 262 00:15:54,263 --> 00:15:55,768 or something. 263 00:16:05,278 --> 00:16:07,281 Hey, porn king, what are you doing here amid the serfs? 264 00:16:07,782 --> 00:16:09,283 Fuck off. 265 00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:10,786 Oh, is that nice. 266 00:16:11,286 --> 00:16:12,789 Here I am, actually giving you the time of day, 267 00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:16,794 and all you can do is level a rather pedestrian curse at me. 268 00:16:16,794 --> 00:16:18,997 Hey, Brian, wait. 269 00:16:18,997 --> 00:16:24,503 Uh, come have a drink. On me. 270 00:16:24,503 --> 00:16:26,506 Couple of dewars. 271 00:16:26,506 --> 00:16:29,511 Well, we're serious tonight. 272 00:16:29,511 --> 00:16:33,016 The unthinkable has happened. 273 00:16:33,016 --> 00:16:35,509 "Ted Schmidt woke one morning from fitful dreams 274 00:16:35,519 --> 00:16:39,023 to find himself transformed in his bed into a giant vagina." 275 00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:41,026 Worse. 276 00:16:41,526 --> 00:16:44,030 I'm... 277 00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:46,533 immune. 278 00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:48,536 To penicillin? 279 00:16:48,536 --> 00:16:50,038 To clever literary references? 280 00:16:50,038 --> 00:16:53,142 To porn. 281 00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,645 I look at it and it has no effect on me. 282 00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:56,648 Zippo. Nada. 283 00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:59,150 I totally lost interest in it. 284 00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:01,655 And I didn't even know it. 285 00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:03,156 One day, suddenly, it's... 286 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,158 just gone. 287 00:17:04,158 --> 00:17:05,159 You know what they say. 288 00:17:05,661 --> 00:17:06,661 Too much of a good thing... 289 00:17:06,661 --> 00:17:10,166 You're not helping. 290 00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:13,170 I've seen all my wildest fantasies fulfilled, 291 00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:15,172 live and uncensored right before my eyes, 292 00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:18,177 over, and over... 293 00:17:18,177 --> 00:17:19,880 - and over... - I got it. 294 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,381 So... maybe I need to... 295 00:17:21,882 --> 00:17:23,483 lay off for a while, you know, just... 296 00:17:23,483 --> 00:17:24,485 just give it a rest. 297 00:17:24,485 --> 00:17:27,790 Or maybe you need to stop watching and do. 298 00:17:30,294 --> 00:17:33,297 What's your most secret sexual fantasy? 299 00:17:33,297 --> 00:17:35,300 Are you crazy? 300 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,803 I'm not telling you that. 301 00:17:36,803 --> 00:17:37,803 Fine. 302 00:17:37,803 --> 00:17:39,794 Live out the remainder of your days 303 00:17:39,805 --> 00:17:41,808 condemned to sexual purgatory. 304 00:17:41,808 --> 00:17:43,314 All right. 305 00:17:46,314 --> 00:17:48,316 But if I tell you, do you promise 306 00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:49,819 not to make me feel like a fool? 307 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,635 That would be redundant. 308 00:18:07,143 --> 00:18:10,151 I may have seriously underestimated you, Theodore. 309 00:18:13,151 --> 00:18:15,154 Hey, you go, Em. 310 00:18:15,154 --> 00:18:19,160 Come on. 311 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,163 Look, look! I did it, I got them all down. 312 00:18:22,163 --> 00:18:24,166 The next time, honey, 313 00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:25,969 try and do it in your lane. 314 00:18:27,972 --> 00:18:29,974 Gotta hand it to you mom, 315 00:18:29,974 --> 00:18:33,178 this match is the worst idea you have ever had. 316 00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,181 Well, what was I supposed to do? 317 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,684 Let them get away with making fun of gay bowlers? 318 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,586 - We do. - Yeah well, they're cops, 319 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:40,988 they should be held to a higher standard. 320 00:18:40,988 --> 00:18:42,891 - Right. - We're going to do fine. 321 00:18:42,891 --> 00:18:46,295 - All we need to do is practice. - That's right. 322 00:18:46,395 --> 00:18:47,898 'Cause practice makes perfect. 323 00:18:47,898 --> 00:18:49,700 Brian already is perfect. 324 00:18:50,201 --> 00:18:51,703 Glad you think so. 325 00:18:51,703 --> 00:18:53,205 Yeah. A little more practice, 326 00:18:53,706 --> 00:18:55,307 and I'll be perfect too. 327 00:18:55,307 --> 00:18:57,310 You actually have a lot of potential, Emmett. 328 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:58,312 For manslaughter? 329 00:18:58,813 --> 00:19:01,918 You just need to work on your follow-through. 330 00:19:01,918 --> 00:19:04,020 See, wherever your hand goes, the ball goes. 331 00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:07,524 So just pretend you're throwing right at the pins. 332 00:19:08,026 --> 00:19:17,238 Throw your hand at the pins. 333 00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:21,243 Welcome to Team Homo. 334 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,545 Well... 335 00:19:22,545 --> 00:19:23,546 Debbie, you already have a full lineup. 336 00:19:24,047 --> 00:19:25,149 Yeah, well... 337 00:19:25,149 --> 00:19:28,152 we just lost a player. 338 00:19:28,152 --> 00:19:31,157 Emmett, you're off the team. 339 00:19:32,158 --> 00:19:33,660 Whatever happened to, 340 00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:34,662 "It's not whether you win or lose, 341 00:19:34,662 --> 00:19:36,163 it's how you play the game"? 342 00:19:36,163 --> 00:19:38,166 Well, it needs a rewrite. 343 00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:40,970 Sorry, mom. He just got out of the hospital. It's too soon. 344 00:19:41,470 --> 00:19:42,571 Michael, 345 00:19:42,571 --> 00:19:43,573 - I'm fine. - Ah, yeah. 346 00:19:44,073 --> 00:19:46,076 And I would like you to stay that way. 347 00:19:46,076 --> 00:19:48,579 You shouldn't be doing anything physically strenuous. 348 00:19:48,579 --> 00:19:49,882 Hear that, professor? 349 00:19:49,882 --> 00:19:52,184 No more heavy butt action. 350 00:19:52,184 --> 00:19:53,186 Do you mind? 351 00:19:53,686 --> 00:19:54,287 Just looking after his health. 352 00:19:54,287 --> 00:19:55,789 For Christ's sake, Michael. 353 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,792 Would you stop being a mother hen? That's my job. 354 00:19:57,792 --> 00:19:59,295 He says he feels fine. 355 00:19:59,295 --> 00:20:03,800 He's not bowling, and that's final. 356 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,103 Well, 357 00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,604 I guess I'm on the team, 358 00:20:06,604 --> 00:20:09,612 whether her majesty likes it or not. 359 00:20:14,615 --> 00:20:18,420 I'm feeling good about this. Yes, I am. 360 00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:19,422 We're good. 361 00:20:19,422 --> 00:20:21,425 Look who's here. 362 00:20:21,425 --> 00:20:23,929 Well, what are you, checking out the competition? 363 00:20:23,929 --> 00:20:25,931 Checking it out real closely. 364 00:20:25,931 --> 00:20:27,934 - I like what I see. Hey, Vic. - Hey. 365 00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:29,937 Leave it to my sister 366 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,438 to get us into this. 367 00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:32,440 Michael, cover your eyes. 368 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,942 Hey, you look like you need a drink. 369 00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,443 For once, we can be alone. 370 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:39,449 Oh my... my kid's standing right there. 371 00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:42,953 I just wanna give you a little kiss. 372 00:20:42,953 --> 00:20:44,956 How about we go out for a drink? 373 00:20:44,956 --> 00:20:46,758 I can't, I'm meeting with the guys. We're... 374 00:20:46,758 --> 00:20:49,262 we're strategizing for the game. 375 00:20:51,264 --> 00:20:53,267 Go ahead, I won't keep you. 376 00:20:53,277 --> 00:20:56,774 Considering what an expert you are... at games. 377 00:20:58,774 --> 00:21:00,277 Pardon? 378 00:21:00,277 --> 00:21:01,778 Forget it. 379 00:21:01,778 --> 00:21:03,281 You can't just throw something like that out there 380 00:21:03,281 --> 00:21:05,284 - and say, "Forget it". - I'm a detective, 381 00:21:05,284 --> 00:21:06,786 I know how to read people. 382 00:21:06,786 --> 00:21:08,287 You're coming through loud and clear. 383 00:21:08,287 --> 00:21:10,298 Well, I wish you were. 384 00:21:16,098 --> 00:21:17,600 Every time I... 385 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,104 try to get a little friendly, you shoot me down. 386 00:21:20,605 --> 00:21:22,708 No, I mean I told you. It's just that... 387 00:21:22,708 --> 00:21:25,211 You can't desert your team. 388 00:21:25,711 --> 00:21:27,214 If it wasn't this, 389 00:21:27,214 --> 00:21:28,716 you'd be stuffing envelopes for P-Flag, or... 390 00:21:29,217 --> 00:21:32,220 marching for gay rights... 391 00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:34,723 or some other excuse not to get close. 392 00:21:34,723 --> 00:21:38,229 That's bullshit. 393 00:21:38,229 --> 00:21:39,731 You don't even know me. 394 00:21:39,731 --> 00:21:41,742 Who do we have to thank for that? 395 00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:53,649 You're making too big a deal. 396 00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:57,153 Too big a deal. You practically died. 397 00:21:57,153 --> 00:21:58,655 Yeah, but I didn't, Michael. 398 00:21:58,655 --> 00:22:01,159 I am still here. 399 00:22:01,159 --> 00:22:03,162 Yeah. 400 00:22:03,663 --> 00:22:05,665 And I still wake up in the middle of the night 401 00:22:05,665 --> 00:22:07,668 and listen to you breathe. 402 00:22:07,668 --> 00:22:10,672 Just to be sure. 403 00:22:10,672 --> 00:22:14,677 I don't want anything else to happen to you. 404 00:22:14,677 --> 00:22:16,680 If it's that important, 405 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,683 you can bench my ass. 406 00:22:18,683 --> 00:22:20,686 Now stop worrying. 407 00:22:20,686 --> 00:22:23,189 I can't help it, I... 408 00:22:23,189 --> 00:22:26,194 I have the genes of an Italian mother in my blood. 409 00:22:26,694 --> 00:22:30,699 So how come you can't cook? 410 00:22:30,699 --> 00:22:33,703 I worry about everybody. I worry about Vic, 411 00:22:33,703 --> 00:22:35,706 I worry about... Ted and Emmett, 412 00:22:35,706 --> 00:22:37,709 I worry about Brian and Justin... 413 00:22:37,709 --> 00:22:39,711 What is their problem? What... 414 00:22:39,711 --> 00:22:43,717 which hot trick they're going to fuck next? 415 00:22:44,219 --> 00:22:47,221 I saw... Justin kissing some guy. 416 00:22:47,221 --> 00:22:49,724 Michael, I kiss guys all the time. 417 00:22:49,724 --> 00:22:51,727 You do? 418 00:22:51,727 --> 00:22:53,230 Yeah, I kiss them hello, 419 00:22:53,230 --> 00:22:54,231 I kiss them goodbye, I... 420 00:22:54,231 --> 00:22:56,734 It wasn't that kind of a kiss. 421 00:23:06,247 --> 00:23:07,249 It was that kind of a kiss. 422 00:23:12,255 --> 00:23:14,758 Okay. Uh... 423 00:23:14,758 --> 00:23:16,761 Does, uh... 424 00:23:16,761 --> 00:23:19,766 Does... does he know that you saw him? 425 00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:21,768 I was across the street. 426 00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,272 So do I tell Brian or not? 427 00:23:24,772 --> 00:23:26,775 Absolutely not. 428 00:23:26,775 --> 00:23:28,777 What, rule number two of gay etiquette: 429 00:23:28,777 --> 00:23:31,282 never tell your best friend that his boyfriend is cheating on him? 430 00:23:31,782 --> 00:23:33,785 If you're wrong, he will be furious. 431 00:23:34,286 --> 00:23:35,288 And if I'm right? 432 00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:37,790 He'll be even furiouser. 433 00:23:37,790 --> 00:23:40,794 So either way I lose. 434 00:23:42,797 --> 00:23:45,300 You're not going to lie here all night, 435 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,302 worrying. 436 00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:50,807 I told you, it's genetic. 437 00:25:06,810 --> 00:25:08,412 It was incredible. 438 00:25:08,412 --> 00:25:09,914 The boys behaved themselves? 439 00:25:09,914 --> 00:25:12,418 "Misbehaved" is more like it. 440 00:25:12,418 --> 00:25:15,623 It was just what I needed. I really got my groove back. 441 00:25:15,623 --> 00:25:16,623 Groovy. 442 00:25:16,623 --> 00:25:19,126 How can I ever thank you? 443 00:25:19,126 --> 00:25:21,631 You can't. 444 00:25:21,631 --> 00:25:23,334 Hey, what size does this come in? 445 00:25:23,334 --> 00:25:27,037 "Twink", "stud" and "bear". 446 00:25:27,037 --> 00:25:28,540 I... I'll take a "stud". 447 00:25:28,540 --> 00:25:30,042 I'll take two. 448 00:25:32,746 --> 00:25:34,748 By the way, aren't you forgetting something? 449 00:25:34,748 --> 00:25:35,959 Oh. Right. 450 00:25:53,773 --> 00:25:55,776 So what was that all about? 451 00:25:55,776 --> 00:25:57,778 And what were you doing with Brian's bracelet? 452 00:25:57,778 --> 00:25:59,280 Never mind. 453 00:25:59,781 --> 00:26:01,584 Teddy. 454 00:26:01,584 --> 00:26:03,587 Since when do we keep secrets? 455 00:26:03,587 --> 00:26:05,089 And since when do we share things with Brian 456 00:26:05,089 --> 00:26:13,100 that we do not share with me? 457 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,803 I borrowed it. 458 00:26:15,803 --> 00:26:18,306 Briefly. 459 00:26:18,808 --> 00:26:20,811 Along with his life. 460 00:26:21,311 --> 00:26:22,312 I just wanted to see what it was like... 461 00:26:22,312 --> 00:26:24,314 to be him. 462 00:26:24,314 --> 00:26:27,820 Dish. 463 00:26:43,942 --> 00:26:45,945 Hey, uh... hi. 464 00:26:45,945 --> 00:26:47,349 I... can get in? 465 00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:52,653 Sorry. 466 00:26:54,355 --> 00:26:56,858 You guys are slippery. 467 00:26:56,858 --> 00:26:58,861 It was awful. 468 00:26:58,861 --> 00:27:01,365 Empty... meaningless. 469 00:27:01,365 --> 00:27:04,368 Well, you really were Brian. 470 00:27:04,368 --> 00:27:08,374 It was my all-time number one fantasy. 471 00:27:08,374 --> 00:27:11,379 Now that's gone, what do I have left? 472 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,382 Here. Try this on. 473 00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:19,389 After a while, dreams wear thin. 474 00:27:19,490 --> 00:27:21,492 Kind of like this fabric. 475 00:27:21,993 --> 00:27:25,799 Then, you realize you need something more. 476 00:27:25,799 --> 00:27:27,802 I was hoping to find that with Luke. 477 00:27:27,802 --> 00:27:29,302 Yeah. 478 00:27:29,302 --> 00:27:30,805 He was a sweet boy. 479 00:27:31,305 --> 00:27:33,308 But, he couldn't accept you for who you are. 480 00:27:33,308 --> 00:27:35,817 Turn around. 481 00:27:39,817 --> 00:27:42,121 You'll find it with someone else. 482 00:27:42,121 --> 00:27:43,122 Yeah, right. 483 00:27:43,623 --> 00:27:48,530 Love comes at the strangest times in the strangest ways. 484 00:27:48,830 --> 00:27:50,332 It'll happen for you. 485 00:27:50,332 --> 00:27:54,737 Just you wait and see. 486 00:27:54,737 --> 00:27:57,241 You are one handsome devil, Ted Schmidt. 487 00:27:58,241 --> 00:28:00,244 You know that? 488 00:28:07,254 --> 00:28:09,758 Ready? 489 00:28:09,758 --> 00:28:12,762 What do you think? 490 00:28:12,762 --> 00:28:14,766 Oh, my God. 491 00:28:15,766 --> 00:28:17,770 It's gorgeous. 492 00:28:19,270 --> 00:28:21,777 It's everything I dreamed of. 493 00:28:23,777 --> 00:28:26,886 Look at the way the sun pours in through the skylight. 494 00:28:30,886 --> 00:28:32,995 The sink, it actually works! 495 00:28:37,495 --> 00:28:39,999 Time for a toast. 496 00:28:39,999 --> 00:28:40,992 To... 497 00:28:42,002 --> 00:28:44,104 making art. 498 00:28:44,605 --> 00:28:47,108 To making your friends happy, 499 00:28:47,108 --> 00:28:50,620 and to making love. 500 00:29:01,728 --> 00:29:03,731 Well, now that your work's done, I... 501 00:29:03,731 --> 00:29:06,534 guess you'll be moving on. 502 00:29:06,534 --> 00:29:09,537 I hate to see you go. 503 00:29:09,537 --> 00:29:13,543 Actually, I've been thinking. 504 00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:16,548 It wouldn't take much work to turn your garage... 505 00:29:16,548 --> 00:29:19,551 into a nice little... guest quarters. 506 00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:22,556 In case someone wanted to come for... 507 00:29:23,057 --> 00:29:25,559 a visit, or... 508 00:29:25,559 --> 00:29:27,562 even to stick around. 509 00:29:27,562 --> 00:29:31,568 In fact, you might want to consider... 510 00:29:31,568 --> 00:29:33,571 renting it out to... 511 00:29:33,571 --> 00:29:35,774 a special friend. 512 00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:37,882 Leda, wait. 513 00:29:40,882 --> 00:29:43,384 What happened between us, 514 00:29:43,384 --> 00:29:46,890 meaningful as it may have been... 515 00:29:46,890 --> 00:29:49,895 was a one-time thing. 516 00:29:50,895 --> 00:29:53,398 But it's not something we wish to continue. 517 00:29:53,398 --> 00:29:56,402 Right, Leeds. So... 518 00:29:56,402 --> 00:29:58,905 thanks for everything. 519 00:29:58,905 --> 00:30:01,821 We've really loved having you here. 520 00:30:10,821 --> 00:30:16,328 I, uh, understand. 521 00:30:16,328 --> 00:30:18,832 Well, that's a... that's a relief. 522 00:30:18,832 --> 00:30:21,336 - We were worried you... - First, 523 00:30:21,336 --> 00:30:24,339 I renovate your attic, and... 524 00:30:24,339 --> 00:30:29,347 then I renovate your sex life. 525 00:30:29,848 --> 00:30:31,350 And then it's... 526 00:30:31,350 --> 00:30:32,851 "So long, Leda"? 527 00:30:32,851 --> 00:30:33,853 That's not what we meant. 528 00:30:33,853 --> 00:30:36,873 That's how it sounded. 529 00:31:20,716 --> 00:31:23,119 I thought I'd find you here. 530 00:31:23,119 --> 00:31:26,223 Why aren't you at Ben's, taking care of the invalid? 531 00:31:26,323 --> 00:31:30,529 He's doing great. 532 00:31:30,529 --> 00:31:33,633 Everybody can use a hand. 533 00:31:33,834 --> 00:31:35,436 Where's Justin? 534 00:31:35,436 --> 00:31:38,339 He's at home, doing a project. 535 00:31:38,841 --> 00:31:40,342 That's weird, 'cause I... I called your place 536 00:31:40,342 --> 00:31:42,445 and there was no answer. 537 00:31:42,445 --> 00:31:44,000 Well I guess he's not picking up, 538 00:31:44,248 --> 00:31:45,005 or maybe he went out. 539 00:31:45,951 --> 00:31:47,000 Don't you guys tell each other 540 00:31:47,002 --> 00:31:50,256 where you're going or what you're doing? 541 00:31:50,756 --> 00:31:53,862 - I'm just asking. - It's not a psych ward. 542 00:31:53,862 --> 00:31:55,463 We don't have to sign out, 543 00:31:55,474 --> 00:31:57,466 or call in and report our whereabouts. 544 00:31:57,466 --> 00:31:59,969 We've even stopped wearing those homing devices. 545 00:32:00,069 --> 00:32:01,571 All right, all right, I... 546 00:32:01,571 --> 00:32:04,074 You're free to come and go as you please. It's just... 547 00:32:04,074 --> 00:32:05,776 Don't you ever wonder, though, what he's doing 548 00:32:05,787 --> 00:32:07,479 when you're not around? 549 00:32:07,479 --> 00:32:09,382 I know what he's doing. 550 00:32:11,085 --> 00:32:13,787 And it doesn't bother you. 551 00:32:13,988 --> 00:32:15,490 He's 19, for Christ's sakes. 552 00:32:15,490 --> 00:32:16,592 When I was his age, 553 00:32:15,602 --> 00:32:18,494 I was out fucking everything that moved too. 554 00:32:18,494 --> 00:32:19,996 You still are. 555 00:32:23,701 --> 00:32:25,004 So why should I have a problem 556 00:32:25,014 --> 00:32:29,408 if the lad wants to have a little fun? 557 00:32:29,910 --> 00:32:31,913 Well, what if it was more than that? 558 00:32:31,913 --> 00:32:33,314 What if... 559 00:32:33,514 --> 00:32:39,924 What if what? 560 00:32:44,430 --> 00:32:46,432 What if... 561 00:32:46,432 --> 00:32:48,135 there was... 562 00:32:48,135 --> 00:32:49,136 someone else? 563 00:32:49,136 --> 00:32:50,638 Someone that he was seeing 564 00:32:50,638 --> 00:32:52,141 that you didn't know about? 565 00:32:52,141 --> 00:32:53,341 What if there was? 566 00:32:55,444 --> 00:32:57,447 You'd be okay with that too? 567 00:33:00,452 --> 00:33:02,353 He doesn't owe me anything. 568 00:33:09,263 --> 00:33:10,764 What about the truth? 569 00:33:53,723 --> 00:33:56,227 You find a place? 570 00:33:56,227 --> 00:33:58,230 Lucky Leda lands on her feet. 571 00:33:58,730 --> 00:34:00,232 Like you give a shit. 572 00:34:00,232 --> 00:34:01,734 As a matter of fact, I... 573 00:34:01,734 --> 00:34:03,736 I do. I feel terrible that, uh... 574 00:34:03,736 --> 00:34:05,338 That you've turned into a proper, 575 00:34:05,349 --> 00:34:07,844 dignified, hypocritical bitch? 576 00:34:09,844 --> 00:34:12,348 I was going to say that we hurt you... 577 00:34:12,348 --> 00:34:13,349 Well you can try 578 00:34:13,349 --> 00:34:15,152 to sweep what happened on your mattress 579 00:34:15,152 --> 00:34:18,156 under your mattress, but you don't fool me. I was there. 580 00:34:18,156 --> 00:34:20,459 I'm not saying the sex wasn't great. 581 00:34:20,459 --> 00:34:21,460 That's not the problem. 582 00:34:21,471 --> 00:34:23,463 Frankly, I'm not interested in hearing 583 00:34:23,463 --> 00:34:29,671 about any more of your problems. 584 00:34:29,671 --> 00:34:33,176 Well... Linz and I, we're a... 585 00:34:33,176 --> 00:34:34,678 a couple. 586 00:34:34,678 --> 00:34:37,182 And that means there's no room in our life 587 00:34:37,182 --> 00:34:39,185 or our bed, for a third party 588 00:34:39,185 --> 00:34:45,193 no matter how much we may care for her. 589 00:34:45,293 --> 00:34:47,296 Being with you again was... 590 00:34:47,296 --> 00:34:49,298 was nice. It brought back a lot of memories. 591 00:34:49,298 --> 00:34:51,802 - Me too. - And seeing you and Lindsay 592 00:34:51,802 --> 00:34:53,805 and how great you guys are together, 593 00:34:53,805 --> 00:34:56,810 I couldn't help wishing that somehow, I could be a part of it. 594 00:34:56,810 --> 00:35:00,819 I didn't mean to horn in on your scene. 595 00:35:03,819 --> 00:35:05,320 It's just... 596 00:35:05,820 --> 00:35:07,823 you know, sometimes it, uh... 597 00:35:07,823 --> 00:35:09,831 it gets a little lonely. 598 00:35:14,833 --> 00:35:16,844 You're lucky, Mel. You know that? 599 00:35:23,344 --> 00:35:25,347 Well, maybe it's, uh... 600 00:35:25,347 --> 00:35:28,853 time you found someone of your own. 601 00:35:28,853 --> 00:35:38,856 I might just do that, babe. 602 00:35:32,356 --> 00:35:35,361 I might just do that. 603 00:35:35,361 --> 00:35:37,865 Well, I gotta get going. 604 00:35:38,365 --> 00:35:41,876 You give Lindsay a big, sloppy soul kiss for me, would you? 605 00:35:46,276 --> 00:35:48,289 Will do. 606 00:35:57,291 --> 00:35:58,793 Be sure to drop a line. 607 00:35:59,294 --> 00:36:00,295 Let us know where you're at. 608 00:36:00,796 --> 00:36:02,833 Don't I always? 609 00:36:27,833 --> 00:36:29,333 Good, good, that's nice. 610 00:36:29,834 --> 00:36:30,936 Go, go, Lindsay, 611 00:36:30,936 --> 00:36:32,438 - go, Lindsay! - Liberty Balls! 612 00:36:33,739 --> 00:36:35,342 No way she's gonna make a dime store split. 613 00:36:35,342 --> 00:36:36,644 She'll make it. 614 00:36:36,644 --> 00:36:38,146 Fat chance. 615 00:36:38,146 --> 00:36:39,147 That's what you think. 616 00:36:39,147 --> 00:36:39,948 Come on, come on, come on, 617 00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:41,450 come on, come on, come on, come on. 618 00:36:44,956 --> 00:36:46,958 Will you shut the fuck up? 619 00:36:46,958 --> 00:36:48,059 Ooh. 620 00:36:50,363 --> 00:36:55,069 Thank you. 621 00:36:57,873 --> 00:36:58,474 Oh. 622 00:36:59,976 --> 00:37:00,477 Ouch. 623 00:37:00,978 --> 00:37:02,278 Shit. 624 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,284 "Some of the greatest bowlers are gay." 625 00:37:06,284 --> 00:37:07,286 Not in this bunch. 626 00:37:07,286 --> 00:37:09,688 It's not your fault, honey. 627 00:37:09,688 --> 00:37:11,190 He deliberately threw you off 628 00:37:11,190 --> 00:37:12,191 by making that noise. 629 00:37:12,191 --> 00:37:13,693 What noise? 630 00:37:13,693 --> 00:37:15,196 That thing you do with your throat. 631 00:37:15,196 --> 00:37:16,697 It's called breathing. 632 00:37:16,697 --> 00:37:18,200 Well, knock it off. 633 00:37:22,105 --> 00:37:24,008 All right, Carl. We need you, buddy. 634 00:37:24,008 --> 00:37:27,012 Well, this oughta be good. 635 00:37:29,515 --> 00:37:31,518 Go, baby. 636 00:37:31,518 --> 00:37:35,124 Good. 637 00:37:48,942 --> 00:37:52,947 It's called sneezing. 638 00:37:54,549 --> 00:37:55,551 Bless you. 639 00:37:58,956 --> 00:38:01,659 Well, we might as well kiss this game goodbye. 640 00:38:01,659 --> 00:38:03,661 You can save your kisses. 641 00:38:03,661 --> 00:38:05,664 We still got one frame left. 642 00:38:05,664 --> 00:38:06,466 Oh, good. 643 00:38:06,967 --> 00:38:07,969 Come on, Em, you can do it. 644 00:38:09,468 --> 00:38:11,471 You only need... 645 00:38:11,471 --> 00:38:12,473 three strikes in a row. 646 00:38:12,974 --> 00:38:14,576 Is that all? Three strikes. Okay. 647 00:38:15,077 --> 00:38:16,079 Oh, wrong one. 648 00:38:25,390 --> 00:38:27,793 Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow! 649 00:38:27,793 --> 00:38:29,696 Em, you okay? 650 00:38:29,696 --> 00:38:32,100 Oh, my God! Ow! 651 00:38:32,100 --> 00:38:33,901 Are you okay? Oh, my God. 652 00:38:33,901 --> 00:38:35,904 - I think I sprained my wrist. - Let me see it. 653 00:38:35,904 --> 00:38:37,907 See how it's hanging there limp like that? 654 00:38:37,907 --> 00:38:42,714 Doesn't really look that much different to me. 655 00:38:42,714 --> 00:38:44,416 Ben. 656 00:38:44,917 --> 00:38:46,620 - Ben. - Debbie, I'm sorry. I... 657 00:38:46,620 --> 00:38:51,126 I can't. 658 00:38:51,126 --> 00:38:54,130 It's okay. I understand. 659 00:38:54,130 --> 00:38:56,133 Looks like it's over. 660 00:38:56,133 --> 00:38:58,635 What do you mean, you can't? 661 00:38:58,635 --> 00:39:02,041 What the hell kind of loser attitude is that? 662 00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:04,533 - Michael, you said you didn't want... - How do you feel? 663 00:39:04,544 --> 00:39:06,047 I feel fine. 664 00:39:06,047 --> 00:39:07,448 Then get out there. 665 00:39:07,448 --> 00:39:09,351 - And win one for... - Yes! 666 00:39:09,351 --> 00:39:11,853 - ...queers everywhere. - All right! 667 00:39:11,853 --> 00:39:15,258 All right, the Liberty Balls are making a substitution. 668 00:39:15,258 --> 00:39:17,461 Whoa! Wait a minute, he's not on the team. 669 00:39:17,461 --> 00:39:18,962 If they can do it in baseball, 670 00:39:18,962 --> 00:39:19,964 we can do it in bowling. 671 00:39:19,964 --> 00:39:21,567 Huh? What? 672 00:39:21,567 --> 00:39:24,070 1968, The Pirates and The Reds? 673 00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:26,073 The Pirates needed a pinch hitter. 674 00:39:26,073 --> 00:39:28,076 So they took Fernando Gutierrez 675 00:39:28,076 --> 00:39:29,578 off the injury list, 676 00:39:29,578 --> 00:39:31,080 which means he was not on the team 677 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:32,081 at the time, 678 00:39:32,581 --> 00:39:34,584 and they sent him in. 679 00:39:34,584 --> 00:39:35,586 I'm sure all you manly sports fans 680 00:39:35,597 --> 00:39:37,188 remember that one, hmm? 681 00:39:37,689 --> 00:39:38,690 She's got a point. 682 00:39:38,690 --> 00:39:40,292 - We don't even know he's gay. - Yeah. 683 00:39:40,492 --> 00:39:43,496 Oh, come on. 684 00:39:43,496 --> 00:39:44,898 Oh, that'd be good. 685 00:39:44,898 --> 00:39:45,500 Okay, 686 00:39:45,500 --> 00:39:49,104 he qualifies. Let's bowl. 687 00:39:56,014 --> 00:39:59,017 Fascinating sports fact about Fernando Gutierrez. 688 00:39:59,017 --> 00:40:02,022 But since when does our mailman play professional baseball? 689 00:40:02,022 --> 00:40:04,526 Shows you what straight guys know. 690 00:40:17,742 --> 00:40:18,846 Two more. 691 00:40:20,146 --> 00:40:23,450 Who's crying now. 692 00:40:29,958 --> 00:40:30,960 Holy shit. 693 00:40:33,864 --> 00:40:34,866 All right. 694 00:40:34,866 --> 00:40:36,368 One more, one more, Ben. 695 00:41:10,815 --> 00:41:12,217 All right. 696 00:41:18,225 --> 00:41:19,726 It's okay. 697 00:41:24,433 --> 00:41:25,434 One fucking pin. 698 00:41:27,437 --> 00:41:28,938 It's hardly a victory. 699 00:41:28,938 --> 00:41:30,941 Next year, we're gonna ream their asses. 700 00:41:30,941 --> 00:41:32,844 Let's stick to bowling, shall we? 701 00:41:50,469 --> 00:41:52,971 Em? 702 00:41:52,971 --> 00:41:53,972 I let the team down. 703 00:41:54,474 --> 00:41:57,578 No, you didn't. 704 00:41:58,078 --> 00:42:00,783 It's the spirit that matters, not the score. 705 00:42:00,783 --> 00:42:02,785 And, 706 00:42:02,785 --> 00:42:04,287 you had, by far, 707 00:42:04,287 --> 00:42:09,295 the most fabulous sports ensemble out there. 708 00:42:09,295 --> 00:42:11,297 - Really? - Absolutely. 709 00:42:11,297 --> 00:42:12,799 The way you got the shoes 710 00:42:12,799 --> 00:42:14,301 to match the shirt... 711 00:42:14,802 --> 00:42:16,804 Inspired. 712 00:42:16,804 --> 00:42:18,806 Little pins sitting with the little ball, 713 00:42:19,307 --> 00:42:20,809 and there, and the piping... 714 00:42:20,809 --> 00:42:25,816 Okay, okay. 715 00:42:26,316 --> 00:42:27,318 You know something, Ted Schmidt? 716 00:42:27,818 --> 00:42:29,821 What? 717 00:42:29,821 --> 00:42:31,846 I love you. 718 00:42:47,746 --> 00:42:49,749 To the Liberty Balls! 719 00:42:49,749 --> 00:42:50,450 Long may they hang. 720 00:42:59,662 --> 00:43:02,165 Uh-huh, the victor. 721 00:43:02,165 --> 00:43:03,668 Come to gloat? 722 00:43:03,968 --> 00:43:06,472 Come to offer my congratulations. 723 00:43:06,472 --> 00:43:07,973 Why? Your team won. 724 00:43:08,474 --> 00:43:09,475 Not by much. 725 00:43:11,478 --> 00:43:12,480 You guys were great. 726 00:43:12,980 --> 00:43:14,986 - Oh, thanks. - Thanks, Carl. 727 00:43:17,786 --> 00:43:19,794 Hey, Horvath? 728 00:43:23,794 --> 00:43:26,801 Doesn't the winner buy the loser a drink? 729 00:43:28,801 --> 00:43:33,306 Don't flatter yourself. Nobody here's interested in you. 730 00:43:33,306 --> 00:43:34,809 Except me. 731 00:43:41,317 --> 00:43:43,320 Oh my, oh... oh... okay, okay. 732 00:43:53,835 --> 00:43:56,840 A straight kiss at Woody's. 733 00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,842 That's gotta be a first. 734 00:43:58,842 --> 00:44:00,845 I guess people really do find love 735 00:44:00,845 --> 00:44:02,848 in the strangest places. 736 00:44:02,848 --> 00:44:05,841 What about you, Teddy? You, uh... you see anybody here 737 00:44:05,851 --> 00:44:07,854 makes your heart go pitter-pat? 738 00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:11,359 - Well, maybe. - Yeah? Who? Who? 739 00:44:11,359 --> 00:44:13,365 It's too soon to tell. 740 00:44:16,065 --> 00:44:18,569 I'm going to pretend I didn't just see my mother 741 00:44:18,569 --> 00:44:21,072 sticking her tongue down Horvath's throat. 742 00:44:21,272 --> 00:44:23,274 While you're at it, pretend she won't be blowing him later 743 00:44:23,274 --> 00:44:25,484 in the back of his patrol car. 744 00:44:29,484 --> 00:44:33,288 It's too bad Justin couldn't be here tonight. 745 00:44:33,789 --> 00:44:35,792 I'm out of here. 746 00:44:53,616 --> 00:44:55,622 You told him, didn't you? 747 00:44:58,122 --> 00:45:01,233 He didn't seem to care. 748 00:45:19,752 --> 00:45:22,254 Jesus, Brian. 749 00:45:22,755 --> 00:45:23,756 I thought you were bowling. 750 00:45:23,756 --> 00:45:25,759 Game's over. 751 00:45:25,759 --> 00:45:27,261 How'd we do? 752 00:45:27,261 --> 00:45:29,263 Three cheers to the winners. 753 00:45:29,263 --> 00:45:32,769 Way to go. 754 00:45:33,770 --> 00:45:39,077 - It wasn't us. - Oh. 755 00:45:39,077 --> 00:45:40,580 Where're you going? 756 00:45:40,580 --> 00:45:42,181 Taking a shower. 757 00:45:42,683 --> 00:45:45,186 You sure are taking a lot of showers lately. 758 00:45:45,186 --> 00:45:48,690 Come here. 759 00:45:48,690 --> 00:45:50,693 Later. 760 00:45:50,693 --> 00:45:52,295 - Now. - Can't we please do this 761 00:45:52,295 --> 00:45:55,299 after I shower? 762 00:45:55,299 --> 00:45:58,804 I like smelling you. 763 00:45:58,804 --> 00:45:59,806 Not soap. 764 00:47:26,621 --> 00:47:28,124 - You like that? - Yes. 765 00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:42,924 Why did you stop? 766 00:47:46,524 --> 00:47:48,524 Brian? 767 00:47:51,524 --> 00:47:55,524 Go take a shower. You stink.