1 00:00:00,875 --> 00:00:03,075 (upbeat music) 2 00:00:06,792 --> 00:00:08,672 (straining) 3 00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:10,210 (grunts, breathes heavily) 4 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:13,920 Oh! 5 00:00:14,792 --> 00:00:16,292 (pants) 6 00:00:17,041 --> 00:00:19,381 (grunting) 7 00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:21,628 Man, he's really struggling with that thing. 8 00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:22,749 Looks pretty heavy. 9 00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:26,456 I can't sit here and watch this. 10 00:00:26,542 --> 00:00:27,712 I'm gonna go give him some help. 11 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:30,383 Lift with your legs! 12 00:00:30,458 --> 00:00:31,328 (snaps fingers) 13 00:00:32,625 --> 00:00:34,915 Aww, you're a good friend. 14 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,250 That's what I do. 15 00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,035 Yo, so what's in the trunk? 16 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,535 I'll give you a hint. 17 00:00:39,625 --> 00:00:41,915 You wouldn't be standing here today without it. 18 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,537 You locked my mother in the trunk! 19 00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:46,375 - (gasps) - (speaks Spanish) 20 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:47,960 Okay, okay, okay. 21 00:00:48,291 --> 00:00:50,081 Your mother's not in the trunk. 22 00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:52,583 Hey, dude, um, 23 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,667 what are you doing with a bunch of old clothes? 24 00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,080 These are artifacts from the Battle of Seaford Hill. 25 00:00:57,166 --> 00:00:59,956 The President of the Historical Society hand-selected me 26 00:01:00,041 --> 00:01:01,671 to be the director of the reenactment. 27 00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:03,671 Wait, aren't you the president? 28 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:04,960 I said "hand-selected." 29 00:01:05,542 --> 00:01:07,632 Dude, I hate when they do the reenactment. 30 00:01:07,709 --> 00:01:10,629 It reminds everyone I'm related to Cook Martinez, the traitor. 31 00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:13,419 Oh, come on, Jerry, that was 200 years ago. 32 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,170 I'm sure nobody remembers that Cook Martinez got all the troops sick 33 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,630 and almost cost Seaford the battle. 34 00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:18,879 Watch this. 35 00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:23,747 Crowd: Boo! 36 00:01:28,792 --> 00:01:30,632 Yeah, I'm gonna say they still remember. 37 00:01:34,417 --> 00:01:36,377 Anyone want an egg? Got one left. 38 00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:40,999 For the reenactment tomorrow, 39 00:01:41,083 --> 00:01:43,963 I got Bobby Wasabi to play the French general, LaPew. 40 00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:46,001 Now I just need someone to play General Douglas. 41 00:01:46,125 --> 00:01:47,825 Oh, oh, oh. 42 00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:49,377 (whining) 43 00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:51,753 Pick me! Pick me! 44 00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,754 You guys know I'm 1/64th Douglas, right? 45 00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:56,628 Both: Yes, you keep telling us. 46 00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,667 Come on, Milton. 47 00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:00,790 Look at me. 48 00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:03,035 I would make the perfect General Douglas. 49 00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:05,745 A lot of people say I have very similar qualities to him, 50 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,955 like courage, vision 51 00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:09,501 and a quiet understated grace. 52 00:02:09,583 --> 00:02:11,503 Yeah, he was also known for his chronic battle 53 00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:12,923 - with lice. - (screams) 54 00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:16,462 Uh, do you see any? Pick 'em out! Pick 'em out! 55 00:02:16,542 --> 00:02:19,292 Rudy, relax. It's a 200-year-old wig. 56 00:02:19,375 --> 00:02:21,245 If there were any lice, I'm sure they're all dead. 57 00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:28,881 Heh, maybe not all of them. 58 00:02:30,709 --> 00:02:33,079 Look, Milton, I really wanna play General Douglas. 59 00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:34,708 I'll give you anything you want. 60 00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:36,326 I want to be sensei. 61 00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,247 Milton, relax. Rudy's not gonna make you sen-- 62 00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:39,333 Aah! 63 00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:42,463 Bow to your new sensei. 64 00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,422 - No! - General Douglas says bow! 65 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,790 Okay. 66 00:02:48,375 --> 00:02:51,665 ♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪ 67 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:55,580 ♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪ 68 00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:58,127 ♪ And we could have a ball Run up the wall ♪ 69 00:02:58,208 --> 00:03:00,128 ♪ That's just how we do ♪ 70 00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:02,038 ♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪ 71 00:03:02,125 --> 00:03:04,785 ♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪ 72 00:03:04,875 --> 00:03:06,995 ♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪ 73 00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:08,833 ♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪ 74 00:03:08,917 --> 00:03:10,127 ♪ Everybody ♪ 75 00:03:10,208 --> 00:03:13,628 ♪ Won't you come kick it with me? ♪ 76 00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:16,169 ♪ And we could have a ball Run up the wall ♪ 77 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,130 ♪ That's just how we do ♪ 78 00:03:18,208 --> 00:03:20,128 ♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪ 79 00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,918 ♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪ 80 00:03:25,208 --> 00:03:27,208 (upbeat music) 81 00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:33,625 My play is an accurate portrayal of the way the battle was won. 82 00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:35,579 Now, I've gone to great detail to make sure 83 00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:37,577 everything is 100% authentic. 84 00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:43,995 Excuse me, soldier, why is your shirt pink? 85 00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:46,713 Just because I'm a soldier, Doesn't mean I can't have flare. 86 00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:49,632 No soldier ever fought in a shirt that color. 87 00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:52,039 Well, I think it makes the soldier's eyes pop. 88 00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:53,575 - Yep, it really does. - (crowd mutters) 89 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:54,957 - Thank you. - Wha-- 90 00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:58,632 Look, Milton, as a movie star, 91 00:03:58,709 --> 00:04:01,169 I have a vision for my character LaPew. 92 00:04:02,291 --> 00:04:05,171 I'm going to storm in, declare victory in front of the whole town 93 00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:08,711 and then ride off on a white horse with a beautiful maiden. 94 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,082 That's not what happened. 95 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,496 You surrendered in a blubbering heap of embarrassment. 96 00:04:12,583 --> 00:04:15,713 Oh, well, I'll cancel the horse, 97 00:04:15,792 --> 00:04:17,252 but I'm keeping the maiden. 98 00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:22,078 All right, Rudy, let's rehearse General Sherman's entrance. 99 00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:24,922 And... Action. 100 00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,960 Oh, good people of Seaford. 101 00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:32,541 It is I, your humble, yet bemedaled leader, 102 00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:34,035 Sherman Douglas. 103 00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:36,535 Rudy, where'd you get all those medals? 104 00:04:36,625 --> 00:04:39,415 Oh, this one's for skee ball 105 00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:40,880 and this one's for selling cookies. 106 00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:43,499 Whoa, and this one's from Chad's Steakhouse 107 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,043 for eating a 40-ounce rump roast. 108 00:04:45,125 --> 00:04:46,535 All right. 109 00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,543 Where's the actual jacket 110 00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,745 that was worn by Douglas? It was in the trunk. 111 00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:52,544 I left that old thing at the dojo. 112 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,375 Now, if anyone needs me, 113 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,210 I will be in my dressing room. 114 00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:03,458 (gagging) 115 00:05:03,542 --> 00:05:06,292 You would not believe what Bobby's doing in my dressing room. 116 00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:10,078 It's my dressing room now. 117 00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:18,668 Crowd: Boo! 118 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,040 (crowd jeering) 119 00:05:20,125 --> 00:05:21,915 (laughs) 120 00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:26,503 You kids got to get up pretty early if you want to egg Jerry Martinez. 121 00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:33,250 You got up pretty early, didn't you, kid? 122 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,833 It was worth it. 123 00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,327 That's it. 124 00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:38,128 - (grunts) - (screaming) 125 00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:40,876 (screaming continues) 126 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:47,206 (squeaks) 127 00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:48,791 (inaudible) 128 00:05:51,208 --> 00:05:52,128 (grunts) 129 00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:53,788 (sputters) 130 00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:56,043 (scoffs) 131 00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:01,963 Ugh! Stupid General Sherman's coat. 132 00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:04,169 This is all your fault. 133 00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,330 Ugh! 134 00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:08,165 Oh, that's it! 135 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,040 (grunting) 136 00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:14,960 Huh? 137 00:06:18,375 --> 00:06:20,665 "Property of Cook Martinez"? 138 00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:22,750 (trumpets) 139 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,670 Wow, that thing was really clogged. 140 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,000 (upbeat music) 141 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,960 And as the clock struck four bells, 142 00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,461 General LaPew surrendered to General Douglas, 143 00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:36,132 who sealed it with his glove. 144 00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:38,458 (patriotic music playing) 145 00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:40,748 (grunts) 146 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,044 And General LaPew sealed it right back! 147 00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:50,418 Not feeling that the surrender was sealed entirely, 148 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,000 Sherman sealed it again! 149 00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:53,543 (grunts) 150 00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:59,127 Feeling a glove was no longer sufficient to seal it, 151 00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:01,628 General LaPew grabbed a nearby musket! 152 00:07:01,709 --> 00:07:03,789 I think we're all sealed up, thank you. 153 00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:08,460 And it was that treaty which ensured 154 00:07:08,542 --> 00:07:11,172 that General Douglas would go down in history. 155 00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:13,210 (applauds) 156 00:07:15,583 --> 00:07:17,833 And that is why today we honor-- 157 00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:20,127 The biggest liar is Seaford's history! 158 00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:21,958 (crowd gasps, murmurs) 159 00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,541 Bobby, pass me the musket. 160 00:07:23,625 --> 00:07:25,575 Jerry, what are you talking about? 161 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:26,957 This. 162 00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:30,999 This diary holds Cook Martinez's secret. 163 00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,083 (scoffs) 164 00:07:32,166 --> 00:07:34,206 The secret should be that the dude wrote in a diary. 165 00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:35,581 (laughs) Am I right? 166 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,075 Here's what really happened at the battle of Seaford. 167 00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:45,043 "The year is 1814." 168 00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:47,375 (patriotic music) 169 00:07:47,458 --> 00:07:50,538 Jerry: We've been at war for 13 months and our supplies are running out. 170 00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:53,495 in order to keep the soldiers fed, I had to get creative in the kitchen. 171 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,171 (sighs) 172 00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:57,745 Cook Martinez. 173 00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,460 The men are complaining about the stew. 174 00:08:00,542 --> 00:08:02,002 They say it tastes like an old boot. 175 00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:03,383 Why would they say that? 176 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,040 'Cause I made it out of an old boot. 177 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,334 Well, the pea soup isn't bad. 178 00:08:09,417 --> 00:08:10,957 Oh, great, I'll go make some more. 179 00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:13,499 Uh, I wouldn't eat that. 180 00:08:13,583 --> 00:08:15,753 - Why not? - We never had any peas. 181 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,713 This just isn't right. 182 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,130 What little supplies we have left, 183 00:08:22,208 --> 00:08:24,208 the General is keeping for himself. 184 00:08:24,291 --> 00:08:26,711 It's because he's a mean, selfish leader 185 00:08:26,792 --> 00:08:28,082 who doesn't care about his men. 186 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,631 What did you say, soldier? 187 00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:33,578 Uh, I said we should bring clean shellfish 188 00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:35,577 to the leader who does his hair for his men. 189 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:37,583 You got that right. 190 00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:40,577 I'm a four-star general rocking a five-star coif. 191 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,712 Sir, the men haven't eaten in three days. 192 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,542 And we're about to go into battle against LaPew. 193 00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:49,995 You think I don't know that? 194 00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:51,713 That's why I bought this meat. 195 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,792 (flies buzzing) 196 00:08:57,458 --> 00:08:58,998 Sir, the men aren't gonna eat this. 197 00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:01,043 Why not? The flies seem to love it. 198 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,286 No, check that. Some of them seem to be sick. 199 00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:08,958 In fact, they're dropping like-- Well, you know... 200 00:09:09,417 --> 00:09:10,287 flies. 201 00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:15,498 Yo, I'm not sure this meat is even dead. 202 00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:18,673 (squelches) 203 00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,495 - (growls) - (all scream) 204 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,880 I can't believe we have To serve this slop to our men. 205 00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:37,079 Our goat wouldn't eat this. 206 00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:38,626 I know, I tried giving it to her 207 00:09:38,709 --> 00:09:40,169 And she pulled a rifle on me. 208 00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:43,415 Uh, why aren't we eating the goat? 209 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,748 I just told you. 210 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,134 She pulled a rifle on me. 211 00:09:48,458 --> 00:09:50,708 (coughing) 212 00:09:50,792 --> 00:09:52,542 (groaning) 213 00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,125 (coughing) 214 00:09:54,208 --> 00:09:55,498 Hey, the men don't look good. 215 00:09:56,041 --> 00:09:59,381 Oh, come on, they may not be the most handsome bunch, 216 00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:02,828 but if I were a lonely frontier woman, I could find a husband here. 217 00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:06,747 For instance, look at Davis over there. 218 00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:08,334 In the right light, his cheekbones-- 219 00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:10,667 No, no, no. The soldiers look sick. 220 00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:11,792 They're turning blue. 221 00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:16,375 Men, LaPew's army is advancing. 222 00:10:18,208 --> 00:10:20,958 But rest assured as you're out there facing certain death, 223 00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:23,001 I will be right beside 224 00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:24,923 my toasty fire... 225 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,827 Where I will be writing a letter of condolence 226 00:10:28,917 --> 00:10:31,627 to officer Nate's hot wife, Annabelle. 227 00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:32,917 Nate's not dead. 228 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,540 You just sent him on a scouting mission. 229 00:10:37,834 --> 00:10:39,424 Good news from the front. 230 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,830 The enemy has surrendered, sir? 231 00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:42,417 No, Nate's been captured. 232 00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:45,287 General, these men are sick. 233 00:10:45,417 --> 00:10:47,747 You don't have an army and the enemy are about to attack. 234 00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:48,674 You need a plan. 235 00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:50,040 You don't think I have a plan? 236 00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:52,625 (scoffs) Oh, I have a plan. 237 00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:56,960 Have the pony express come pick me up. 238 00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:00,667 (harmonica playing) 239 00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,422 - (fiddle plays) - Rudy: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 240 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,750 Who are you? How did you get in my trunk? 241 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,254 And do you know "Camptown Races"? 242 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,464 ( fiddle plays "Camptown Races") 243 00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:17,207 Guys, we're the only ones who didn't eat the meat. 244 00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:20,078 It's up to us to save Seaford. 245 00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:21,376 We're just cooks. 246 00:11:21,458 --> 00:11:23,578 We don't know anything about being soldiers 247 00:11:23,709 --> 00:11:25,829 or winning battles, or firing rifles. 248 00:11:25,917 --> 00:11:27,667 - (goat bleats) - (gunshot) 249 00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:29,330 (bullet clinking) 250 00:11:29,917 --> 00:11:32,127 If that goat can figure it out, so can we. 251 00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:39,207 (light music) 252 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,212 Yo, where'd you get the mustache? 253 00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:53,004 Oh, man, I don't know. 254 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:55,043 Once I started ripping things off, I couldn't stop. 255 00:11:57,041 --> 00:11:58,541 Okay, we got into the enemy camp, 256 00:11:58,625 --> 00:12:00,785 but are you sure your plan to defeat them is gonna work? 257 00:12:00,875 --> 00:12:02,415 I know the plan's gonna work, okay? 258 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,960 If this meat wiped out our army. 259 00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:05,291 It'll wipe out theirs. 260 00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:07,495 Oh, here comes General LaPew. 261 00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:08,963 Quick, act French. 262 00:12:09,041 --> 00:12:11,791 - Oh, ho, ho! - Oui, oui! 263 00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:13,415 - Oh, ho, bonjour. - Vive la France! 264 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,290 - Oh, oui, oui. - Fromage. 265 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:17,325 (clears throat) 266 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,500 (in French accent) Tonight, I will claim Seaford for France. 267 00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:23,423 (cheering) 268 00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:27,631 I will show the world that my army cannot be stopped! 269 00:12:27,709 --> 00:12:29,419 (soldiers cheer) 270 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,170 And once they are defeated, 271 00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,328 I will sunbathe on their golden beaches 272 00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:36,285 in my teeny, weenie victory bikini! 273 00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:38,455 (soldiers retching) 274 00:12:38,542 --> 00:12:39,792 - What? - (retching) 275 00:12:40,417 --> 00:12:43,247 Okay, so maybe I'm a little pasty, but, I mean, come on, guys! 276 00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:46,790 They're not puking 'cause they're thinking of you sunbathing. 277 00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:49,995 (retches, groans) I was. 278 00:12:51,959 --> 00:12:54,039 I tricked your men into eating bad meat. 279 00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:56,959 Ah! 280 00:12:57,041 --> 00:12:59,541 (gasps) You are Americans! 281 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:03,383 But when you were, "bonjour, oui, oui, vive la France," 282 00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:05,208 I totally believed you. 283 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,789 You got no army left, LaPew. 284 00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:08,955 Surrender. 285 00:13:09,709 --> 00:13:10,539 (laughs) 286 00:13:10,625 --> 00:13:13,665 You are forgetting about my elite group of soldiers 287 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,670 who did not eat your meat. 288 00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,380 Prepare to battle 289 00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:19,707 the vegetariens. 290 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:21,627 What? 291 00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:23,924 (clears throat) 292 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,040 The vege-tariens! 293 00:13:27,959 --> 00:13:29,129 I'm sorry, one more time. 294 00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:30,883 They don't eat meat. 295 00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:32,419 Oh, you mean vegetarians. 296 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,830 - You could have just said that. - Ah! 297 00:13:33,917 --> 00:13:34,997 I so said that. 298 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:38,793 (chuckles) oh. 299 00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:40,745 Your cookware 300 00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:43,084 is no match for our... 301 00:13:43,166 --> 00:13:45,036 Powerful muskets. 302 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,075 (chuckles) But first, we have to load them, 303 00:13:47,166 --> 00:13:48,626 so quick time-out! 304 00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:50,629 (LaPew humming) 305 00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:53,169 ♪ La-da-dee, la-da-daa ♪ 306 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,750 So, how 'bout this weather we're having, no? 307 00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:58,674 It really is nice. The days are just delightful. 308 00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,250 And at night, you only need a light jacket. 309 00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:02,081 Oh, yeah, so nice. 310 00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,826 - Milton: Yeah. - What are we gonna do? 311 00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:04,997 They just called time-out. 312 00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:06,627 I got this. 313 00:14:07,291 --> 00:14:08,541 Time in! 314 00:14:08,625 --> 00:14:09,705 (gasps) 315 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,957 I did not see that coming. 316 00:14:14,917 --> 00:14:16,417 Aah! 317 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,210 - Aah! - (grunts) 318 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,713 (chuckles) 319 00:14:28,792 --> 00:14:30,752 (both grunt) 320 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,205 (action music) 321 00:14:46,542 --> 00:14:47,962 Aah! 322 00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:50,961 Oh! Oh! 323 00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:08,787 (grunting) 324 00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:20,915 That's it, LaPew. It's over. 325 00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:22,081 It's time to surrender. 326 00:15:22,166 --> 00:15:24,206 I will never surrender. 327 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,751 My men and I will fight-- 328 00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:27,044 (men groan) 329 00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:29,035 Okay, I surrender. 330 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,170 You did it. Your plan worked. 331 00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:34,460 - We won. - That's it. 332 00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,132 - Wh-- Oh. - It's over. 333 00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:37,538 Something's coming over me. 334 00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,632 This victory's gotten me so excited, 335 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,578 I think-- I think I want to make a noise. 336 00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:46,998 Whoo! 337 00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:48,543 What was that? 338 00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:51,212 I'll tell you what that was. 339 00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:53,671 That was the sound of victory. 340 00:15:54,375 --> 00:15:55,875 It was the sound of liberty. 341 00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:59,039 That was the "whoo" heard 'round the world. 342 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,915 Jerry: Whoo! 343 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,750 (echoing) 344 00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:05,834 Australian Man: Crikey, who's "whooing" at this hour? 345 00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:08,457 (whoop echoing) 346 00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:11,832 Italian Man: Mamma mia, that's a big "whoo." 347 00:16:11,917 --> 00:16:14,287 (whoop echoing) 348 00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:17,665 Space Alien: I think I just heard a "whoo" come from Earth. 349 00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:19,040 Let's not destroy it. 350 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,668 (light music) 351 00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:27,996 Rudy: LaPew? If that's you, 352 00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:30,583 I just want you to know I'm really French. 353 00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,380 (in French accent) I swear. 354 00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:36,878 I am just sitting here wearing my beret, 355 00:16:36,959 --> 00:16:39,459 sharing a crepe with my French poodle. 356 00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:41,832 - (dog barks) - Rudy: Down, Fifi! 357 00:16:43,542 --> 00:16:44,792 General, we did it. 358 00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:46,125 We defeated the enemy. 359 00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:47,878 What? 360 00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:49,879 - Yeah. - We got a letter of surrender. 361 00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,667 We got their troops sick with the bad meat. 362 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,580 I wrote everything down in my secret diary. 363 00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:55,537 (scoffs) 364 00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:58,245 Uh, the secret should be that you're a dude with a diary. 365 00:16:58,291 --> 00:16:59,541 (laughing) Am I right? 366 00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:07,207 So no one has seen this diary or this letter? 367 00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:08,711 - Negative. - Good. 368 00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:11,671 This surrender will mean a medal of valor, 369 00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,920 a badge of honor and a red sash. 370 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,330 And do you know what follows that? 371 00:17:15,417 --> 00:17:16,417 Sash bash! 372 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,920 Oh! I love putting on a sash and dancing the night away. 373 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,881 But not for you. For me. 374 00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,669 Arrest these traitors! 375 00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:27,380 - Wait, what? - What are you talking about? 376 00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:30,208 - But we're heroes. - No one will ever know that but me. 377 00:17:30,291 --> 00:17:31,631 Because without this, 378 00:17:31,709 --> 00:17:34,709 everyone will believe that I single-handedly won the war. 379 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,672 - Take them away. - Are you kidding me? 380 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:37,960 - Why would you? - What? 381 00:17:38,041 --> 00:17:39,541 (Boys grunting) 382 00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:42,713 Nate? 383 00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:46,081 Thank goodness you've escaped. 384 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,380 I'm sure your hot wife Annabelle can't wait to see you. 385 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,210 Guards, we have another traitor! 386 00:17:59,583 --> 00:18:02,173 Wow, so history got it wrong. 387 00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:05,174 General LaPew was the real hero. 388 00:18:07,291 --> 00:18:09,421 That's not what I said at all. 389 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:12,290 Oh. Well, to be honest, I missed most of your story. 390 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,500 So Cook Martinez and his men were the real heroes? 391 00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:17,165 That's right. 392 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:20,580 And General Douglas had them jailed so he could steal their glory. 393 00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,165 Crowd: boo! 394 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:24,710 (jeering) 395 00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:28,212 What? I'm like 1/64th related to the dude. 396 00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:32,131 I mean, Milton's probably more related to Douglas than I am. 397 00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:33,038 Let's get him! 398 00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:33,955 Jack and Milton: Rudy! 399 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,580 As president of the historical society, 400 00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:38,787 I would like the record to show 401 00:18:38,875 --> 00:18:40,665 that we recognize General Douglas 402 00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,210 for what he was, 403 00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:44,541 - a traitor... - (whimpers) 404 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,535 - a coward... - (whimpers) 405 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,125 - and a liar. - Uh, no, no, no. 406 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,460 I may be related to a traitor and a coward, 407 00:18:51,542 --> 00:18:52,752 but I earned that medal. 408 00:18:52,834 --> 00:18:53,834 You know how? 409 00:18:53,917 --> 00:18:55,247 By eating a 40-ounce rump. 410 00:18:56,542 --> 00:18:59,172 So, Milton, what are we gonna do to honor Cook Martinez? 411 00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:01,293 I think I have an idea. 412 00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,881 From this day forward, 413 00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,579 let the good people of Seaford know 414 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:08,327 that Cook Martinez was the real hero of our town. 415 00:19:11,625 --> 00:19:14,035 (cheers, applauds) 416 00:19:14,959 --> 00:19:16,209 It's beautiful, Milton. 417 00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,540 Your family deserves this. 418 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,665 It's long overdue. 419 00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:21,713 And on behalf of the entire town, 420 00:19:21,792 --> 00:19:23,132 Thanks for making this chili. 421 00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:26,209 Oh, yeah, it was fun. 422 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,961 I just followed one of the recipes that I found in my ancestor's diary. 423 00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:29,961 Oh. 424 00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:32,171 Dude, this chili is great. What's your secret? 425 00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:34,250 Oh, I mixed in that leftover bag of beef jerky 426 00:19:34,291 --> 00:19:36,541 - I found at the dojo. - What? 427 00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:39,415 I found that bag of gnarly meat at the bottom of that trunk. 428 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,080 Dude, you just fed the entire town 200-year-old rancid meat. 429 00:19:45,166 --> 00:19:47,286 - What? - Uh... 430 00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:48,745 Everybody, calm down. 431 00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:50,334 If there was anything wrong with that meat, 432 00:19:50,417 --> 00:19:52,077 - we'd all be very si-- - (stomach gurgles) 433 00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:53,706 (groaning) 434 00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:55,632 I got the first port-a-potty! 435 00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:57,459 Milton: I got the second port-a-potty! 436 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,790 Lucky for me, I only had one bite. 437 00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:06,539 I think I'll be okay as long as I stand 438 00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,455 - Very, very still. - (stomach gurgles) 439 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,127 Oh! Sweet mother Moses, help me! 440 00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:14,579 I'm running for the river! 441 00:20:19,125 --> 00:20:20,495 (water splashes) 442 00:20:28,083 --> 00:20:29,633 ♪ Kickin' it with you! ♪ 443 00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:33,041 (light music) 444 00:20:34,583 --> 00:20:37,793 Annabelle, sweet Annabelle, 445 00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:40,995 it burdens me to tell you that your beloved husband Nate is gone. 446 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:41,963 (gasps) 447 00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:45,751 The last we saw, he was taken by a large grizzly bear. 448 00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:49,077 And as the general, it falls upon me to comfort you. 449 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,830 This is the part of the job that I hate. 450 00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:58,044 Nate? 451 00:20:58,583 --> 00:20:59,923 Uh... (chuckles) 452 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,293 Thank goodness you survived 453 00:21:02,375 --> 00:21:06,705 the "being wrapped in rabbit meat and thrown in a bear cave" mission. 454 00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:10,787 You have earned the medal of valor. 455 00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:12,325 It's waiting for you in my tent. 456 00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:18,707 (goat bleats) 457 00:21:18,792 --> 00:21:20,502 - (gunshot) - (bullet clinks) 458 00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:21,713 (Nate groans) 459 00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,710 Now, where were we, Annabelle? 460 00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:36,375 (closing theme music) 461 00:21:56,875 --> 00:21:57,745 Man: Poor soul. 462 00:21:57,834 --> 00:21:58,964 (dog snarls, barks) 463 00:22:01,583 --> 00:22:02,463 Boy: Yes!