1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:03,086
Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:04,963
You must be
Coach Ballard's ex-wife.

3
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:07,174
Yeah. Why?

4
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,134
I'm kind of dating
your ex-husband.

5
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,761
I knew who you were
the whole time.

6
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,054
That's why I
came over here.

7
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,805
Nicely played.

8
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,641
We ought to go out for drinks
one night.

9
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:16,975
Hell yeah!
(laughs)

10
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,685
Yee-haw!

11
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,814
ADULT SHELDON:
College is a time
for new experiences,

12
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,817
being exposed
to exciting ways of thinking,

13
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,028
meeting people
from different backgrounds,

14
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,323
and the unexpected visit
from your dad in gym shorts.

15
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,491
Hey.

16
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,243
What are you doing here?

17
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,953
I got a phone call.

18
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,996
Apparently, the head of the
college wants to talk to us.

19
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:40,749
Oh, good.
You sure it's good?

20
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,001
Well, it's better than
what I thought when I saw you,

21
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,544
which was,
"Uh-oh, Meemaw died."
Come on.

22
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,339
I was hoping in
college you wouldn't

23
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,924
get called to the
principal's office anymore.

24
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,926
She's not the principal.
She's the president.

25
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:53,011
GEORGE SR.:
So if you're in trouble,
you're in big trouble.

26
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,846
SHELDON:
That's a fun way to look at it.

27
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,349
Gentlemen, please have a seat.

28
00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:58,850
GEORGE SR.
Sheldon's only been here
a few weeks.

29
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,103
I hope he's not
in trouble already.

30
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,562
What kind of trouble?
Did something happen?

31
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,022
Ooh, maybe it's
from when I decided...

32
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,399
Uh, uh, all good.

33
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,442
Uh, you keep talking.

34
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,444
Well, I'll just get
right to the point.

35
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,446
Uh, I would like you
and your son

36
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,366
to meet with a very important
benefactor of the college.

37
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,409
Why us?

38
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,494
Well, I mean, Sheldon is...

39
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:18,954
is an impressive addition

40
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:21,248
to the physics program,

41
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,709
and-and we like our donors
to feel really good

42
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,544
about where their money's going.

43
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,504
I get it.
You want the star quarterback

44
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,214
to shake some hands
with the boosters.

45
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,799
Exactly.
I'm not doing that.

46
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,926
I didn't shake her hand,
and she's the president.

47
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,387
No, you don't have
to shake anybody's hand.

48
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:36,596
Then why did you say it?

49
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,640
I didn't say it. He said it.

50
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,100
But you agreed with it.

51
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,811
All I'm asking you to do is
to go to dinner,

52
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,856
talk about science with a very
nice and, more importantly,

53
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,733
a very rich person.

54
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,151
Understood.

55
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,236
No, thank you.
Buddy...

56
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:54,656
All right, uh, Sheldon,
I was brought to this school

57
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:58,410
to help raise its profile,
and one of the ways to do that

58
00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,579
is through grants and donations.

59
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,748
You-you can understand that,
right?

60
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:05,167
I understand that you would like
to put the novelty of my age

61
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:07,502
and advanced intellect
on display to raise some cash.

62
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,588
(laughs):
No. Sort of.

63
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:12,257
Can I speak to you alone?
Will you give us a minute?

64
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,092
Very well.
But if you're looking to see

65
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,927
if my father will be
a potential donor,

66
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,971
you are barking up
the wrong tree.

67
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:22,100
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

68
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,270
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

69
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,689
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

70
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,275
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

71
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:34,112
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

72
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,117
HAGEMAYER:
So...

73
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,162
how do we get your son
to cooperate?

74
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,456
I've been asking myself that
since day one.

75
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,291
Look, I don't mean
to put pressure on you,

76
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,210
but there's
a lot of pressure on me,

77
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,795
so I'm going to put it on you.

78
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:52,089
Look, I'm sorry,
isn't there anyone else

79
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,132
who can go to dinner
with this guy?

80
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,760
So I have a unicorn in my zoo,

81
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,389
but I should trot out a goat,
is that what you're saying?

82
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,641
Would you donate a new library

83
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,309
to have dinner with a goat?

84
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,894
What restaurant?

85
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,312
(sighs)

86
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,524
Mr. Cooper, I need you
to understand something.

87
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:14,736
This university relies
on donations for everything.

88
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,822
For upkeep,
for salaries,

89
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:21,159
for scholarships, like the one
your son is currently on.

90
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,078
I'll talk to him.

91
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,955
Thank you.

92
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,876
And when you go to dinner,
wear real pants.

93
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,339
So, there's this thing

94
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,550
at school
I really want to go to,

95
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,344
and before you say no, I just
want you to think about it.

96
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,055
What is it?
Like a school function.

97
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,516
Why would I say no
to a school function?

98
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,600
So I can go? You're the best.

99
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,352
Hold on.

100
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,354
What kind of function
are we talking about?

101
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,231
You know, just the normal kind.

102
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,774
With some kids.

103
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,276
And some music.

104
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,111
You know you can't go
to a dance.

105
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,195
Why not?

106
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,572
You know that, too.

107
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,073
Because we're Baptist.

108
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,408
But all my friends
are going.

109
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,702
That doesn't
change anything.

110
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,037
What if I promise not to dance?

111
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,706
So you expect me to believe

112
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:10,250
that you are going to go
to a dance with your friends,

113
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,545
they'll all be dancing
while you just stand there?

114
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,130
I go to church and don't pray.

115
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,882
How is this any different?

116
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,261
MEEMAW:
Where we eating tonight?

117
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,389
Well, that depends.

118
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,807
Why don't you look
in the glovebox

119
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,434
and check on the Tums situation.

120
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,271
There's five.

121
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,106
Oh, my, this is tricky.

122
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,400
Well, Mexican's
at least three apiece.

123
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,986
We might get by with two each
if it's Italian.

124
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:40,947
You get red wine and
then tomato sauce.

125
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,783
Hey, if they put lemon
in the water, we're dead.

126
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,786
Hmm. That leaves barbecue.
Sold.

127
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,289
Who gets Tum number three?

128
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,666
Me. They're my Tums.

129
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,462
Now, what do you
think young people

130
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,963
talk about on
their dates?

131
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,924
(chuckles):
I don't know.

132
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:02,344
But my knee's telling me
it's gonna rain this weekend.

133
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,597
Speaking of this weekend, hey,
my son needs a final head count.

134
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,098
Oh.

135
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,767
It's a small wedding.

136
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,685
It'll be weird if I'm there.

137
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:13,647
Aw, come on,
I'm gonna be wearing a suit.

138
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,815
I'm very sexy in a suit.

139
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,944
Come on, Sheldon,

140
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:20,612
think of it as a free dinner.

141
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,156
I'm a kid.
All my dinners are free.

142
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,202
Is what they're asking
really that bad?

143
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,538
Yes. I go to this university
to study science,

144
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:33,124
not to help collect money
like an organ grinder's monkey.

145
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:36,002
You see me go to the rallies and
fundraisers at the high school.

146
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,963
I don't love it, but I do it.

147
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,507
And I hope they give you
all the bananas you can eat.

148
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:44,219
Sheldon, donors like this are
very helpful for the university.

149
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,972
They pay for all the science
equipment and your scholarship.

150
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,307
I hadn't thought of it that way.

151
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,810
So I'll tell 'em
we're on for Saturday?

152
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,395
I'll think about it.

153
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,397
What's to think about?

154
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,691
It's a night of you
showing off how smart you are.

155
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,276
People do like that.

156
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,027
All right, I'm in.
(sighs)

157
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,489
♪ ♪

158
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,992
(TV playing indistinctly)

159
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,910
Can I put on the game?

160
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,078
I don't care.

161
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,705
Sweet!

162
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,835
What's your problem?

163
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,087
Did you ever go
to a school dance?

164
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,714
One or two.

165
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,757
How'd you get Mom
to let you?

166
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,759
Easy. Didn't ask her.

167
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,388
By the way, that works
for all kinds of stuff.

168
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,849
Well, it's too late.
I already asked.

169
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,851
Rookie mistake.

170
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:36,104
Why can't we have
a fun religion?

171
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,897
I don't think
there is one.

172
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,402
Come with me.

173
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,203
Here.

174
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,246
What is it?

175
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,706
The answer to your problems.

176
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,625
Cool. What other tapes you got?

177
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,252
Nature films.
Don't worry about it.

178
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,798
Hey. I just got off the phone
with President Hagemeyer.

179
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,384
This guy we're gonna have dinner
with sounds pretty interesting.

180
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,720
He made all of his money
selling antistatic furniture

181
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,388
for laboratories.

182
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,890
He's not even a scientist?

183
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,558
He's just a furniture salesman?

184
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,601
(stammers softly)

185
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,894
Yeah.

186
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,395
What am I supposed
to talk about?

187
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,813
Talk about whatever you want.

188
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,899
Just... don't be insulting.

189
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,151
What if he says something
I think is ridiculous?

190
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,903
Keep it to yourself.

191
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,237
What if you just said something

192
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,572
I think is ridiculous?
Because...

193
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,240
Okay, maybe we need
to work a little

194
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,909
on your conversation skills,

195
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,453
like not calling people out
for saying stupid things.

196
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,413
How am I supposed
to practice that?

197
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,415
What's up?

198
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,715
(phone rings)

199
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,426
Hello.
Hey, June.

200
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,678
It's Connie Tucker.

201
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,304
Hey, Connie. How are you?

202
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,514
I'm good.

203
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,474
Am I seeing you Saturday night?

204
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,142
Well, that's
what I've called about.

205
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,602
Are you sure you want me there?

206
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,771
I mean,
it is your son's wedding.

207
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,564
Oh, it's his second wedding.
Those barely count.

208
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,400
Besides,
I'm bringing a date, too.

209
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,943
Come on, it'll be fun.

210
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,779
Okay. I'm in.

211
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:08,863
Fantastic!

212
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,323
So, how dressed up we getting?

213
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,659
Oh, it's a small ceremony,
nothing fancy.

214
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,370
You just saying that 'cause
you want to look better than me?

215
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,122
Of course not.

216
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,499
But I do believe
you'd be stunning in overalls.

217
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,334
(chuckles)
All right.

218
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,877
See you then.

219
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,504
Bye.

220
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,631
Overalls, my ass.

221
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,633
So you really
can't dance here, man?

222
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,301
I can't believe that.

223
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:31,845
It's true.
GEORGE JR.:
See?

224
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,680
They ain't allowed
to dance, either.

225
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,890
It's like I'm watching my life.

226
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,727
That's how I feel when
I'm watching Top Gun.

227
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:43,565
Okay, Sheldon, try having
a conversation with Billy

228
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,816
about science.

229
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,276
Let's see.

230
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,486
Uh, what do you know
about quantum mechanics?

231
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,530
My dad's a mechanic.

232
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,867
At his shop, he has a calendar
with a bikini lady on it.

233
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:54,909
Dad...

234
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,870
Instead of losing patience,

235
00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:00,206
act interested
and ask a follow-up question.

236
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,751
Your father's a mechanic.

237
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,169
Interesting.

238
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,462
You know what else
is interesting?

239
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,380
Quantum mechanics.
That describes

240
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,340
the basic particles and forces
that make up reality.

241
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,009
Let's talk about that.

242
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,344
I'm gonna marry
that bikini lady.

243
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,514
I've been working on a theory

244
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,850
about the wave-particle
duality of light.

245
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,019
I have a nightlight
that looks like Spider-Man,

246
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,562
but I don't turn it on.

247
00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:26,232
Go ahead.

248
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,443
Why don't you turn it on?

249
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,195
I'm afraid of spiders.
Yeah, seems like

250
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,780
a good place to stop.

251
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,114
Now what happens?

252
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,616
You go home.

253
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,785
Thank you for your hospitality.

254
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,204
And it was King David.

255
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:43,875
King David, who-who we read
about in-in Samuel.

256
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,044
And-and-and what did David do?

257
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,462
What did David do?

258
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,964
What did David do?
David danced.

259
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,216
MISSY:
"David danced

260
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,884
"before the Lord
with all his might,

261
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,637
leaping and dancing
before the Lord."

262
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,972
Leaping and dancing.

263
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,933
I'm impressed.
Thank you.

264
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,893
Too bad it's from Footloose.

265
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:04,312
(chuckles)
What's a footloose?

266
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,981
It is the movie that
Pastor Jeff warned us about

267
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,400
in his talk on the
sins of cinema.

268
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,319
Just let me go to the dance.

269
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,946
I'm sorry. I can't.

270
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,281
I'm never talking to you again!

271
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,911
Did you show your
sister Footloose?

272
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,913
Did it work?
No!

273
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,248
Mm. Then no.

274
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,624
(growls):
Oh!

275
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,961
GEORGE SR.:
Now, when you meet this guy,

276
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,004
you got to shake his hand.

277
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,631
What if I offer a stately bow?

278
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,091
That's how they do it in Asia.

279
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,634
You're shaking his hand.

280
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,679
Then it's a good thing
I brought Old Righty.

281
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,390
(sighs) You're not wearing that
in a restaurant.

282
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,724
Why?

283
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,017
'Cause you don't
make a good impression

284
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,143
by being afraid
to shake hands.

285
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,728
Howard Hughes was a germophobe,

286
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,272
and he did quite well
for himself.

287
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,899
Didn't he go crazy
and save his pee in jars?

288
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:50,942
Better to have it
and not need it

289
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,235
than to need it and not have it.

290
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,862
You're shaking his hand!
Okay!

291
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,573
(soft chatter)

292
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,534
Haven't been
to many weddings lately.

293
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,327
Mostly funerals.

294
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,621
Yeah, those don't have
an open bar.
(chuckles softly)

295
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,081
I don't know why I'm so excited.

296
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,749
I'm paying for this.

297
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:07,876
JUNE:
Hey, y'all.

298
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,586
Hi, June!

299
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,753
Don't you look pretty?

300
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:11,754
Thank you.

301
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,381
I happen to agree.

302
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,632
(chuckling)

303
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,218
Connie, Dale,
this is Justin.

304
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,387
Hi, Justin. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.

305
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,431
You must be
a friend of my son's.

306
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,391
Actually, he's my date.

307
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,728
Really?

308
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:27,812
Mm-hmm.

309
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,565
Much more fun than a funeral.

310
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,069
HAGEMEYER:
George Cooper,

311
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,571
meet Gary O'Brien,

312
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,489
the antistatic
furniture king.

313
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:39,490
Hello.

314
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,825
Shocking to meet you.

315
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,619
Don't do that.
And this, of course,

316
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:43,953
is our physics prodigy,

317
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,914
Sheldon Cooper.

318
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,415
A great pleasure.

319
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,293
ADULT SHELDON:
I had an obligation to fulfill.

320
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:53,796
So I closed my eyes
and thought of science.

321
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,050
Just like on my honeymoon.

322
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,015
How's pizza sound
for dinner?

323
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:08,144
You think I'm eating dinner
with my mom on a Saturday night?

324
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,271
(scoffs softly)
You're adorable.

325
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,441
Guess I'm eating alone.

326
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:14,776
What about Missy?
(sighs)

327
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,361
She's not talking to me.

328
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,279
She'd talk to you
if you just let her go.

329
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,948
You know I can't do that.

330
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:23,534
Come on. I went to school dances
and I turned out fine.

331
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,787
I didn't let you go
to any dances.

332
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:27,997
I did all kinds of stuff
behind your back.

333
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,332
Like what?

334
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,626
I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb.

335
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,795
So I'm supposed
to just let her do

336
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,254
whatever she wants?

337
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,048
Yeah, I don't think so.

338
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,217
I'm just saying
she's a good kid.

339
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,427
Be glad she's still asking.

340
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,058
So, how'd you two meet?

341
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,394
Oh, I've been cutting
his mom's hair for years.

342
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,812
Oh, that's nice.

343
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,438
Bet you when she cuts your hair,

344
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,440
you get a lollipop, don't you?

345
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,986
Oh, he gets
more than a lollipop.

346
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,071
Really? Is that so?
Dale.

347
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,658
Okay, so what is it
you do, Langston?

348
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:04,784
Justin.

349
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,827
Actually, I'm about

350
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,412
to open a frozen
yogurt shop.

351
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,746
Frozen yogurt. Right.

352
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,915
Isn't that, like,
crappy ice cream?

353
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:14,085
(chuckles) We consider it
a healthy alternative.

354
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,421
Right. Crappy ice cream.

355
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,131
It's actually getting
really popular.

356
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,632
I'm gonna invest.

357
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,675
Invest money?

358
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,844
What else would she invest with?

359
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,512
I don't know.
You got fake ice cream.

360
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,431
How 'bout fake money?
Well, there's...

361
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:29,308
Hey, would you mind going
to get me another drink, please?

362
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,309
Happy to.

363
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,728
Thank you.

364
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,772
What's your problem?

365
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:35,773
Yeah, what is your problem?

366
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,025
Who said I had a problem?

367
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,277
We did.
You're being rude.

368
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:42,030
Okay, you want to spend
all your money on some boy toy,

369
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,531
it's none of my business.

370
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,700
Why do you care what she
does with her own money?

371
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,160
Yeah, why?
Well, you got

372
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,537
some young guy running around,
asking for money.

373
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,456
You don't think I know
what that's all about?

374
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,666
Okay, he didn't ask-- I offered.

375
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,877
And I can do what I want.
I'm a grown woman.

376
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:58,337
Oh, hell, you were a grown woman
when he was born.

377
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,053
Sheldon, why don't
you tell Mr. O'Brien

378
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:08,139
about some of your goals
at the university.

379
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,600
Well, I'm pushing
for stricter dress codes.

380
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,727
There are a lot of
belly buttons on display.

381
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,020
Science goals.

382
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,813
My ultimate goal
is to one day devise

383
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,523
the grand unified field theory.

384
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:18,983
Ah.

385
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,693
You're one of those, are you?
(chuckles)

386
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,195
Excuse me?

387
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,989
Well, Kurt Godel's
incompleteness theorems

388
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:28,826
eliminate the possibility
of a unified theory.

389
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,204
You honestly believe that?
Sheldon.

390
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,457
That's... interesting.

391
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,709
Tell me more
about how Einstein's life goal

392
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,419
was nothing but folly.

393
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,673
What is she thinking?

394
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:45,384
Maybe she's thinking, "Why did
I come here with this guy?"

395
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,844
Wait, no,

396
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,221
that's what I'm thinking.

397
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,972
You know what I'm talking about.

398
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,849
She brought him here on purpose.
(sighs)

399
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:54,268
What purpose?
To upset me.

400
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,603
You know, Dale,

401
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,522
not everything
is always about you.

402
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,190
Well, you're mad at me,
she's mad at me.

403
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,691
It seems like
it's all about me.

404
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,193
Well, you owe
her an apology.

405
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,528
Like hell I do.

406
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,446
Then I'm gonna
do it for you.

407
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,240
No, wait. (stammers)

408
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,407
Connie, wait.

409
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,450
What?

410
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,077
Bring me back a beer.

411
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,580
(window opens)

412
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,790
(knocking)

413
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:16,791
MARY:
Missy?

414
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,751
Go away.

415
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,545
I'm not talking to you.

416
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,547
I know you're mad.

417
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,591
But I've been thinking about it,
and...

418
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:29,887
I trust you enough to know
that you will behave yourself.

419
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,557
So, just this once, you can go.

420
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,058
Thanks, Mom. Love you.

421
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,810
(rattling)

422
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,770
MARY:
Why won't this open?

423
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,313
Sometimes it sticks!

424
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,066
I know, on the surface,

425
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,651
Dale seems
like a...

426
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:44,986
a bully, but,

427
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,404
underneath...

428
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:47,822
Still a bully.

429
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,783
Well, yes,
but a little less of one, right?

430
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,493
Sure.

431
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,287
Thank you. You know,

432
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,788
I'm gonna bring him
a peace offering.

433
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,249
(Meemaw and June chuckle)

434
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,458
Ain't he cute?

435
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,794
Can you believe that Dale thinks

436
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,797
the only reason you brought him
here is just to piss him off?

437
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,507
That's exactly why
I brought him.

438
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:11,095
What the hell is
the matter with you?
What?

439
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,097
Why would you go out of your way

440
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,600
to upset Dale
at your own son's wedding?

441
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,476
I don't know.
He's my ex-husband.

442
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,769
Well, he's my boyfriend.

443
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,146
Hey, that's your problem.

444
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,190
Well, you're starting
to be my problem.

445
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,691
Geez, who's the bully now?

446
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,986
(quietly): I knew
I shouldn't have come here.

447
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,618
Your ex-wife is a bitch.

448
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:36,412
I am so filled with love
for you right now.

449
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,164
(chuckles)

450
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,334
I believe we have to look
to gravity and its magnitude...

451
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,170
ADULT SHELDON:
I was really doing my best
to hold it together.

452
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,798
...could be a repulsive force
if you just add negative mass.

453
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,675
I smiled and nodded

454
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,178
like my meemaw's
Houston Oilers bobblehead.

455
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,888
And I also discovered a way

456
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,306
that we could
predict the masses

457
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,016
of all the known particles

458
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,019
using the Egyptian pyramids.

459
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,689
In physics, there's a phenomenon
known as supercritical assembly.

460
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:07,318
If you bring enough material
together in one place...

461
00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:09,737
The trick is numerology.

462
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,739
...in the right configuration,

463
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,991
eventually, it will explode.

464
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,160
This is fun. Not a lot of
people I can talk to

465
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,828
scientist-to-scientist.
(boom)

466
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,915
We're not talking
scientist-to-scientist.

467
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,167
You're not a scientist.
You're just a rich man that

468
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,878
no one will be honest to because
everyone wants your money.

469
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,633
(snorts)
Oh, don't listen to him.

470
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,009
I mean, he's just a kid.

471
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,011
Why don't you tell me
a little more

472
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,096
about your pyramid
thingy? Huh?

473
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,603
("Footloose"
by Kenny Loggins playing)

474
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:45,940
ADULT SHELDON:
It turned out
Gary did appreciate my honesty.

475
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:48,192
The school got
a generous donation.

476
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,361
My, my, my.

477
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,905
That is a lot of zeroes.

478
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,868
My father got Oilers tickets
from President Hagemeyer.

479
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,829
50-yard line and free parking?

480
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,497
Hoo-mama.

481
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,666
♪ I'm turning it loose ♪
♪ Footloose... ♪

482
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,752
And I got a brand-new,
state-of-the-art

483
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,962
antistatic lab chair.

484
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,715
♪ Please, Louise ♪

485
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,550
♪ Everybody cut, everybody cut ♪

486
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,552
It works.
♪ Footloose. ♪