1 00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:56,283 Come all the way up. All the way. 2 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,748 - 20 minutes. Hello, goodbye. - Okay. 3 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,468 - Evening, Mr. Thorne. - Evening, Mike. 4 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,137 110 blocks in under 15 minutes. 5 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,347 Not bad for a one-eyed Russian immigrant. 6 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,515 Somebody throwing a party? 7 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:21,725 - You are, sir. - Oh, yeah? 8 00:02:21,726 --> 00:02:22,767 Am I having a good time? 9 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,978 Well, Manhattan Fine Wines just delivered 10 00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:27,439 six cases of Salon Les Mesnil. 11 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,898 Wow, pretty pricey stuff. 12 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,859 - What did I pay for it? - What do you care? 13 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,360 You got more money than you can even look at. 14 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:33,653 Oh, I'd like to thank you 15 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,322 for that little tip on the market you gave me. 16 00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:37,449 The wife says the stock's gone up five points. 17 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:39,284 Good, Mike. Want some more advice? 18 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:41,077 - Sure. - Sell it. 19 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,579 Here, read my newsletter. 20 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,039 Have fun. 21 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:48,251 Fun is actually knowing who half your guests are. 22 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:56,051 Evening. 23 00:03:00,473 --> 00:03:04,017 Chris, look! It's us! 24 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,310 - Good evening, Chris. - You came! 25 00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:08,271 Hi, Chris. I save it for you. 26 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,648 That's what she says to all the guys. 27 00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:12,359 I'll get the next one. Go ahead. 28 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,526 Cigar. 29 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:17,572 Chris, we'll see you in the apartment. 30 00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,247 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. 31 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,582 Heya, little fella. What's your name? 32 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,125 Come on! Get down, get down! 33 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,211 Come on, girls. Get over here. 34 00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,420 I'm sorry. 35 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,381 You oughta get cats. They're a lower-maintenance pet. 36 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,094 - Ah, here we go. - Come on, let's go. 37 00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:40,011 Come on, girls. 38 00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:43,973 Chris! Chris! 39 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:49,729 Hate crowds. 40 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:50,855 You new in the building? 41 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,612 - You all right? - Yes. 42 00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:00,990 Take this. 43 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,829 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 44 00:04:06,706 --> 00:04:08,164 I never do this. 45 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,960 Listen, some people are throwing a party 46 00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:12,836 up in my apartment. 47 00:04:12,837 --> 00:04:15,004 Why don't you come up for a drink? It'll help you relax. 48 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:23,221 - What's the matter? - Oh! 49 00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,848 That son of a bitch! 50 00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:28,017 I don't believe this. That bastard! 51 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:32,313 I can't believe this! 52 00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:37,652 I'll be in the penthouse if you change your mind. 53 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,904 Thanks for the Espresso maker. 54 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,781 And the bag of shit. 55 00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:00,216 Howard Suntz's office. 56 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,343 Miriam, this is Diane. Let me talk to Howard. 57 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,344 I'm sorry, Ms. Lightson. 58 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,347 He left explicit instructions not to be disturbed. 59 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:09,225 What's going on with this landfill deal? 60 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,311 I'm only his goddamn lawyer. Why didn't I know about it? 61 00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:12,854 He said he's doing the deal. 62 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,856 Your services won't be needed, professionally or personally. 63 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:17,192 Look, this is not about our personal relationship, Miriam. 64 00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:19,027 This is business. Do you understand? 65 00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:21,446 It's about my, my professional credentials, 66 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,490 my law firm's time. 67 00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:24,866 Why am I talking to you? You know what? 68 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,618 You just tell Howard that I'm coming down there. 69 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:34,918 Excuse me. 70 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,296 - Oh! - Hi. 71 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,673 - Hi. Glad you could make it. - Thanks. Diane Lightson. 72 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,217 I'm from the firm of Masur and Glennet. 73 00:05:42,218 --> 00:05:44,344 Chris Thorne. I'm sorry about the cold hands. 74 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:45,512 Don't worry about it. 75 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:46,763 The law firm Masur, Glennet? 76 00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:49,057 Weese, Weiss, Worple, Whip Me? 77 00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:51,476 - Yeah, that's the one. - What's your specialty? 78 00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:54,562 Investment syndication and public flotation. 79 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:57,106 It's got to be painful. Would you like a drink? 80 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,149 - I'd love one. - Scotch? 81 00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,609 Great. 82 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,861 - Are you okay? - Yeah, fine. 83 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:02,737 Scotch. 84 00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:05,073 Are you going to the Suntz thing? 85 00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,574 Are you kidding? 86 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,827 Not unless somebody holds a gun to my head. 87 00:06:08,828 --> 00:06:10,411 He's a fraud. He's a rip-off artist. 88 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,747 It's all about buying lakes and filling them with garbage. 89 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,249 I don't know what set you off in the elevator, 90 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,125 but if I were you, I'd stay away from this Suntz guy. 91 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,627 Let's just say I have a personal interest 92 00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:19,295 in this particular deal. 93 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:21,005 So if you're not going, can I borrow your car? 94 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,508 I'm a good driver. 95 00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:24,425 I didn't say I'm not going. 96 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,052 I just said I'm not planning on going. 97 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,555 I mean, I may have a low opinion of the guy, 98 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:31,349 but if it's that important to you, 99 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,559 maybe you know something I don't. 100 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,769 - Maybe I should reconsider. - I really like to drive. 101 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,312 - I'll drive. - I mean, I'm happy to drive. 102 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,647 No, no. It's my car. 103 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,524 - I'll do the driving, okay? - Okay, great. You drive. 104 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,067 Drive? Who's going for a drive? 105 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,944 - Are you, Chris? - No, not tonight, Fausto. 106 00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,112 When? Where? 107 00:06:44,113 --> 00:06:45,738 We love to drive. 108 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,031 Are you going to your house in the Hamptons? 109 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,199 - No, no. - That's fantastic. 110 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,450 When are we leaving? 111 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:52,161 Very, very early, much too early for you. 112 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,788 How about, noon in the parking garage? 113 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:56,040 Noon is better. We love it! 114 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:58,167 - Fantastic! - Great. 115 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,002 I'm sorry about that. 116 00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:01,671 That's Fausto and Renalda Squirinizsu. 117 00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,756 I give them investment counseling sometimes. 118 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,425 They're Brazillionaires. 119 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,968 They have breakfast around 2:00 in the afternoon. 120 00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:08,011 We'll never see them again. 121 00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:10,638 Good. So I'll see you in the garage at noon. 122 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:11,890 - Okay. - Don't be late. 123 00:07:11,891 --> 00:07:13,600 - I won't be late. - Good. 124 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:57,101 Morning, Mr. Thorne. 125 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,770 - Morning, Mike. - Fun night? 126 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:02,523 Oh, God, I can't do this. 127 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:04,400 Listen, do me a favor, 128 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,610 - will you? - Yes, sir. 129 00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,612 You know Diane Lightson? She just moved in. 130 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:08,863 Yes, sir. 23-B? 131 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,406 Yeah. She'll be down in a couple of minutes. 132 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,617 Tell her, tell her I'm too tired, 133 00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:13,701 I'm sick, I can't drive her, 134 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,535 - and- - Yes. 135 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,245 Give her the car with my compliments, will you? 136 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,164 - Certainly. - I got to get some sleep. 137 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,257 Gimme the keys, Mike. 138 00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:41,604 Wow! What a beautiful Beemer. 139 00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:44,065 Good morning. 140 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:46,693 This is a vintage, what, 733i? 141 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,905 - 3.3 liter? - That's right. 142 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:52,407 Had it two years, never been out of Manhattan. 143 00:08:52,408 --> 00:08:53,866 Really? Well, maybe I should drive. 144 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,201 I'll drive. 145 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,577 Hey, let me get that for you. 146 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,537 Thank you. 147 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:03,459 Wow, this is really cherry. 148 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,920 Make yourself comfy. 149 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,174 - Thank you, Mike. - Hope you feel better, sir. 150 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,885 I feel great, feel fine. 151 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:28,026 What the? I don't believe this. 152 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,487 Should have known a Brazillionaire never forgets. 153 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,321 Chris! 154 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,157 They're not coming with us, are they? 155 00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:35,366 - Look at them. - Chris! 156 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,951 I can't say no. 157 00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,494 - That's a nice Beemer. - Hi, Chris! 158 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,121 Chris! 159 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,789 Chris, dude, I imagine that you did not think 160 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,333 - we'd be up so early. - Had no idea. 161 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,543 Hi, Chris. 162 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:50,006 Okay. 163 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:53,051 Chris, where are we going? 164 00:09:53,052 --> 00:09:55,136 We're going to Atlantic City, Fausto. 165 00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:58,473 Get in the trunk. 166 00:09:58,474 --> 00:10:01,350 Good, good, good. We can see the Taj Mahal. 167 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,477 I love it. 168 00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:04,187 I hear they call it the ninth wonder of the world. 169 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,189 Oh, we have the fifth in South America. 170 00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,106 - Oh? - In Rio. 171 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,358 The Christ of Corcovado. 172 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,610 Hi, I'm Renalda. 173 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:11,861 Diane. 174 00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:15,531 This is my brother, Fausto. 175 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:19,035 Chris, put this tape on. 176 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,705 Let's chanka. 177 00:10:45,104 --> 00:10:47,438 This is nice. 178 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,190 We are nice. 179 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,828 So, how long have you been divorced? 180 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:09,418 - Four years. - You still love her? 181 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:12,171 Nah. Been over it for weeks. 182 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:19,262 Chris, this road is such a dull place. 183 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:22,765 We have a nice little surprise picnic for you. 184 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:23,599 Clean food. 185 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,853 Let's take the car into the countryside for a while. 186 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,729 Countryside? 187 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,690 This is the Jerseyvania Triangle. 188 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:33,234 Whole damn place is a mess of burnt-out factories, 189 00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,694 junkyards, and coal fields. 190 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:35,528 Believe me, I know. 191 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,738 My grandfather was in coal commodities in the '30s. 192 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,448 So let's go and see them. 193 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:40,324 Nah, I don't wanna get lost. 194 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,159 You won't get lost. 195 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,035 Look at all that fancy equipment you've got. 196 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,246 Take the next road. Let's see if you can use all that shit. 197 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:47,456 Ah, Fausto, I think we should just keep going. 198 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,250 I don't understand what's the big deal. 199 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,502 We made a nice little surprise picnic for you, 200 00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:52,670 you invited us on a drive, 201 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,881 and now you aren't even driving us where we want to go. 202 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,215 Dude, you could be a better host. 203 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,134 Okay. Okay, listen. 204 00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,177 How about this? 205 00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:02,513 If it won't take too long, Road 329, parallel to the Pike. 206 00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:03,639 Okay, it crosses the Delaware 207 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,892 and then it crosses back here. 208 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,393 There should be beautiful river scenery 209 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,938 and it won't take us too far out of our way, okay? 210 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,231 It's your dime, lady. 211 00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:15,943 Oh, this is wonderful. 212 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,741 I have two big mangoes! 213 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,618 - Oh, yes, he has the mangoes. - Do you like mangoes? 214 00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:28,080 Pull over, Chris. 215 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,624 Oh, this is going to be wonderful! 216 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,918 Fausto, I don't want to stop here. Please. 217 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,628 Not here. 218 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:36,255 - Keep going. - Chris, pull over to a vista. 219 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:40,551 Come on, Chris. 220 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,347 Oh, look! A village 221 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,075 Morning. 222 00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,369 Sell pork bellies, buy gold. 223 00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:10,998 - Oh! - Why, Chris, look out! Oh! 224 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,086 - What is that, a vent pipe? - Vent pipe. 225 00:13:15,087 --> 00:13:16,545 What do you wanna do, get out and kiss it? 226 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:20,466 Ai, Chris, it smells, it stinks. Go, go. 227 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,842 Nice town? 228 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,057 Evel Knievel and Mr. Clean. 229 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,336 Ah, this is better, this is better. 230 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,379 - Pull over- - I like it here. 231 00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,006 - And find a nice table. - I'm hungry. 232 00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:01,424 Let's eat right now. 233 00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:02,508 Let's open the whole thing up now. 234 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,302 Yes, open it up. Let's see, what do we have? 235 00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:05,886 - I don't see butter. - What? 236 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,388 What do you mean I forgot the butter? 237 00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:08,723 I didn't forget the butter. 238 00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,057 - This is marvelous. - That's Antonio. 239 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:13,644 Antonio the butler forgot the butter, not me. 240 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,855 - Chris, you want a drink? - I can't believe him. 241 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,356 - No. - Now, Diana, smile! 242 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,025 - Smile. - This is a nice road. 243 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,943 - Oh, yeah. Chris, Chris. - It's nice. 244 00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,778 Smile. I got you in the mirror. 245 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,447 - Smile. - Oh, no. A cop. 246 00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:25,990 Oh! 247 00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,408 Were you speeding? 248 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,910 65. That's the national speed limit. 249 00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,455 Well, not everywhere. It said 50 back there. 250 00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,832 50? Why didn't you tell me? 251 00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:37,626 You don't have to stop. 252 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,003 What? Right. 253 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,339 Let's get out the guns and blow out his front tires. 254 00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:42,381 Are you crazy? 255 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,716 Of course I'm gonna stop. He's a policeman. 256 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,010 What are you talking about, dude? 257 00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,845 This is a provincial cop, man. 258 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:49,972 With this car, you could easily get away from him. 259 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,141 Let's see if we could do 90. 260 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:54,060 Are you kidding? This baby'll do 130. 261 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,186 - Oh, so let's do it! - Good. Let's go. 262 00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:56,645 Go. Go, Chris. 263 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,564 Thorne, for Christ's sake, go. 264 00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,940 Go, man. 265 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,484 You wimp chicken, let's go! 266 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:02,985 Hit it! Push it! 267 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,445 This is a little goddamn hamlet. 268 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:07,365 Chris, go! 269 00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:08,616 Here we go. 270 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,246 - Push it! - I don't know about this. 271 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,706 I don't know. 272 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,254 Go, Chris. Come on, Chris, go. 273 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,631 Don't be scared. Push it! 274 00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:25,383 We're winning! 275 00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:27,802 You have a BMW. Act like it. 276 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:32,515 Faster! 277 00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,810 Now I think you may be breaking the law. 278 00:15:35,811 --> 00:15:38,312 - Oh, forget about the law! - Oh, but it is smooth, 279 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,105 isn't it? 280 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:53,035 Jeez, he's got a fast car too. 281 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,495 Oh, shh. 282 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,038 Chris, Chris, move it. 283 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,082 For Christ's sakes, move it, Chris. 284 00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:00,918 Maybe we better stop. 285 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:01,710 No. 286 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:03,796 No, I think I can lose him. 287 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,798 Pull your vehicle over now please. 288 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:06,924 Pull over now. 289 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,936 What the hell is that? 290 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:20,771 Oh! 291 00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,773 Detour! 292 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,568 - Chris, watch out! - Well, here we go! 293 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,457 He still with us? 294 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,841 - Push it, Chris! - Where the hell are we? 295 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,009 Go to the left! Go to the left! 296 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,178 Get over. Get over. 297 00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:54,388 Oh, shh! 298 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,975 Be careful on this side! 299 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,519 I'll do the driving, all right? 300 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,563 Just come on, get over! 301 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,947 Will you be quiet, Fausto? Just let me drive, all right? 302 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,160 Sir, this is a heavily-traveled 303 00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,203 industrial artery. 304 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,538 These trucks own this road. 305 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,959 Oh, man. I just wanna get to Atlantic city. 306 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,419 Sir, these speeds are not 307 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,296 advisable through here. 308 00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:42,478 Oh, no! 309 00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:53,280 Everybody relax. 310 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,908 All they can do is cite me and hand me a bunch of tickets. 311 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:59,537 I'll pay 'em, and we'll be on our way back to the turnpike. 312 00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:02,248 Oh, I see. It's all my fault now. 313 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,140 Folks, meet Andy Griffith. 314 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:25,980 Good afternoon. 315 00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:28,941 Driver, step outside the car please. 316 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:35,614 Was I speeding? 317 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,533 Sorry, wasn't sure you were a real cop, 318 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,118 and, please, 319 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,287 I mean that in a complimentary sense. 320 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,121 That's okay. 321 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,497 There's no law against having a sense of humor. 322 00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:45,791 Now turn around, put your hands 323 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,377 on the roof of the car please, sir. 324 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:49,378 There you go, sir. Spread 'em. 325 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:50,379 Ah, come on, now, really? 326 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,338 - Come on. Spread 'em. - Spread 'em? 327 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,923 Oh! Yeah, that's nice, thanks. 328 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:54,049 The lower back please. 329 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:54,883 Thank you. Yeah. 330 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,635 Check the prostate. That's nice. 331 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,595 Oh! All right. 332 00:18:57,596 --> 00:18:58,679 Thank you. 333 00:18:58,680 --> 00:18:59,680 I got an itch right up in there. 334 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:00,681 That's good. Thank you. 335 00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:02,099 Not today, sir. 336 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,517 Turn around. 337 00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:08,063 May I see your license, registration, and insurance please? 338 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,106 What's the charge? 339 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:09,982 You were speeding, 340 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,568 but that's not why I began to follow you, sir. 341 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:13,402 Back there in the village, 342 00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:16,530 you failed to make a full stop at the intersection. 343 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:19,450 Oh, really? Oh, I didn't even notice. 344 00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:21,201 Well, as I say, that's the initial reason 345 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,871 why I followed you, and why you're under arrest now. 346 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,205 The speeding and reckless evasion 347 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,124 will be overlooked, if you cooperate now 348 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,335 and quietly get in your car and follow me. 349 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,086 - Clear? - No, sir. Sir. 350 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,546 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 351 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,465 This may be Valkenvania, 352 00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:35,549 but it is still America, 353 00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:37,051 and we have an appointment at Atlantic City, 354 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,762 so we'd just like to get going. 355 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,430 Wouldn't mind, will you just write a ticket here, 356 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,766 or we could settle it some other way, perhaps? 357 00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:47,061 Step back please. 358 00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,562 I understand, sir, 359 00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:51,231 but, you see, that's not the way things work around here. 360 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,484 You're gonna have to follow me a ways to the reeve, 361 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,236 then it's up to him how we proceed. 362 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,071 Reeve? 363 00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:59,406 The local justice of the peace. 364 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:02,451 Now, I'm planning not to mention the speeding to him, 365 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,079 so I suggest you come quietly and immediately, 366 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,998 unless you want more trouble than you're already gargling. 367 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:39,279 Ai. What's that beeping? 368 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,699 It means we're off the map on this cartridge. 369 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:43,742 What time does Suntz start the hype? 370 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,495 Six o'clock. It's 3:30 now. 371 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:51,041 We can still make it if you just let me do the talking. 372 00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:10,477 Look at this metal sculpture. 373 00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:12,312 They must be into folk art. 374 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:16,150 Folk 'em. 375 00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:18,402 What is that, music? 376 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,362 They're piping in music. 377 00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:33,792 "Enjoy your stay. " 378 00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:37,963 What is this place? 379 00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:40,007 My God. 380 00:21:43,678 --> 00:21:45,304 So that's where they buried Flipper. 381 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,432 Flipper's dead? 382 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:52,978 "Village J.P." 383 00:21:54,606 --> 00:21:55,898 "Shire Reeve." 384 00:21:56,900 --> 00:22:00,778 It's like Robin Hood. "Be polite. " 385 00:22:00,779 --> 00:22:03,280 Oh, and no cussing. 386 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:04,072 Shit. 387 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:08,327 Wow! Look at all these toasters. 388 00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:12,456 There is a negativity about this place. 389 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:19,505 "Valkenheiser Salvage." "Trespassers will be shot." 390 00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:42,736 Oh, come on. 391 00:22:45,156 --> 00:22:47,741 There's a funky karma here, man. 392 00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:50,744 - Is this a joke? - Ai, ai, ai, I hope so, 393 00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:54,081 because I don't think I like it here at all. 394 00:22:54,082 --> 00:22:56,166 Where the hell are we? 395 00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:58,293 Listen, do we have to get out here? 396 00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:01,421 "Valkenvania Courts and Schools, 1898." 397 00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:03,298 Valkenvania. 398 00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:15,894 Ai. 399 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:28,031 File in. Reassemble. 400 00:23:31,828 --> 00:23:34,454 Lucy, I'm home! 401 00:23:34,455 --> 00:23:36,915 Oh, yeah. It's old, it's old. 402 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,917 Right this way, folks. 403 00:23:44,173 --> 00:23:46,216 Wait. I'm entitled to one phone call. 404 00:23:46,217 --> 00:23:48,343 Surely, and you're more than welcome to make one, 405 00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:50,345 if we had a phone. 406 00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:53,307 - There's one in my car. - Car's been impounded. 407 00:23:53,308 --> 00:23:55,434 Impounded? Already? 408 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:58,145 Step up to the railing. Please. 409 00:24:03,318 --> 00:24:05,277 May I have your IDs, everyone please? 410 00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:06,653 I already have yours, Mr. Thorne. 411 00:24:06,654 --> 00:24:08,488 Thank you. Thank you. 412 00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:12,451 These trials usually last only a couple minutes. 413 00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,456 Revolving District Court for the village 414 00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:20,334 and shire of Valkenvania is now in order! 415 00:24:20,335 --> 00:24:24,296 The Honorable Reeve Alvin Valkenheiser presides. 416 00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:55,535 Okay, Dennis, gimme their licenses, ID, 417 00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:59,665 toll tickets, report cards, notes from the teacher. 418 00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,124 There you go, Judge. 419 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:04,086 Traffic violation. Contravention of village bylaw 23. 420 00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:05,963 Failing in the execution of a full stop 421 00:25:05,964 --> 00:25:06,922 at a place so marked. 422 00:25:06,923 --> 00:25:08,548 I recommend fine, bond, and release. 423 00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:13,095 What else you wanna do for 'em, bake 'em a pie? 424 00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:13,887 Okay here. 425 00:25:15,932 --> 00:25:17,516 Who's Christopher Lawrence Thorne? 426 00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:18,934 That's me, Your Honor. 427 00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:21,019 Thorne Financial Publishing, Water Street, New York. 428 00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:23,063 Okay. 429 00:25:23,064 --> 00:25:25,315 - Banker? - No, no. No, banker, no. 430 00:25:25,316 --> 00:25:27,150 Financial publishing. 431 00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:29,945 - Thorne's Weekly? - Okay. Banker. 432 00:25:29,946 --> 00:25:31,405 Oh, here. 433 00:25:31,406 --> 00:25:33,782 Well, look at this. Passports. 434 00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:37,035 I will have you know that my brother Fausto and I 435 00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:39,830 enjoy diplomatic immunity in this country. 436 00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:41,456 Oh, yay, well, 437 00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:46,336 and you are the Fausto and Renalda Squirrriinii? 438 00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:53,719 Squiriniz? 439 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,556 Siz, Siz, Sizwi. Sizwi? 440 00:25:58,933 --> 00:25:59,891 Friends of the bride. 441 00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:01,852 Yeah, that's right. We all wanna get married. 442 00:26:01,853 --> 00:26:03,520 No, sir. No wedding. 443 00:26:03,521 --> 00:26:06,481 Moving violation. Failure to stop. 444 00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:08,692 Let's just be quiet and let him do his little thing, 445 00:26:08,693 --> 00:26:10,027 and we'll be on our way. 446 00:26:10,028 --> 00:26:12,404 Oh, I will let you be on your way, and, 447 00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:15,198 ah, when you go, the cat's eyes'll spin! 448 00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:16,616 Now, listen! 449 00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:18,326 Okay. We'll listen. 450 00:26:21,706 --> 00:26:24,583 A-hey, hey, ho, ha, ho! 451 00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:26,710 Hula, hula, hula, the boola, boola, boola! 452 00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:29,588 Look who's got the front seats of the Mexican hat dance now. 453 00:26:29,589 --> 00:26:32,007 Just like a bunch of spiders in a birthday cake. 454 00:26:34,135 --> 00:26:35,218 You might be interested to know 455 00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:37,012 that you are not under the jurisdiction 456 00:26:37,013 --> 00:26:39,097 of just any old fishing license dispenser 457 00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:41,099 and stamp-pad jockey! 458 00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:43,852 We've always been set to deal with the offenders, 459 00:26:43,853 --> 00:26:45,729 once and for all, at their first appearance, 460 00:26:45,730 --> 00:26:48,940 quick as sump grease through a 10-year-old goose. 461 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:49,775 Congratulations. 462 00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:51,610 I'm glad to know things are running smoothly for you. 463 00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:53,904 Put out that dog rocket! 464 00:26:53,905 --> 00:26:55,447 Oh, sir, sorry. 465 00:26:55,448 --> 00:26:58,950 In 1796, my forefathers established this seat, 466 00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:01,369 after the tenets of the old shire charter. 467 00:27:01,370 --> 00:27:02,788 Shire charter? 468 00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:05,499 Excuse me, sir, that's pre-Magna Carta. 469 00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:07,375 I mean, serfdom and fiefdom stuff. 470 00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:10,045 Very good, young lady. 471 00:27:10,046 --> 00:27:11,004 You know, you and I 472 00:27:11,005 --> 00:27:12,923 ought to spend a little more time together. 473 00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:14,424 Well, I'd, I'd like that. 474 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:15,300 Would ya? 475 00:27:16,344 --> 00:27:18,595 Well, then, more on how they packed me off 476 00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:20,847 to Farmers' Mechanics' University, in Gracefield, Ohio, 477 00:27:20,848 --> 00:27:22,724 for my engineering degree. 478 00:27:24,227 --> 00:27:27,187 And how I fought the Germans in World War I later. 479 00:27:27,188 --> 00:27:28,271 - But for now. - Later? 480 00:27:28,272 --> 00:27:29,731 Wait, ho, ho, ho! No, later? 481 00:27:29,732 --> 00:27:30,816 Wait a minute. 482 00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:31,733 What is this shit? 483 00:27:31,734 --> 00:27:33,401 Sir, no cussing in court! 484 00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:34,569 We don't wanna hear the story of your life. 485 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:36,446 We just wanna pay the ticket and get the hell out of here! 486 00:27:36,447 --> 00:27:38,073 - I'm sorry, Judge. - Well, look at him! 487 00:27:38,074 --> 00:27:39,116 He's going on and on! 488 00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:40,450 This court herewith binds you over 489 00:27:40,451 --> 00:27:41,284 for a further appearance, 490 00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:42,994 to be held at 4:00 tomorrow afternoon. 491 00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:44,621 We so deem for the public and common good 492 00:27:44,622 --> 00:27:46,248 that you be confined herein. 493 00:27:46,249 --> 00:27:47,207 So for now. 494 00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,458 - No, Judge! - What are you kidding me? 495 00:27:48,459 --> 00:27:50,168 Good night, Irene! 496 00:27:57,635 --> 00:27:59,511 What's the point in that? 497 00:27:59,512 --> 00:28:00,887 They're clean. 498 00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:02,430 No drugs, no guns, nothing. 499 00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:04,766 Ah, just another batch of hot-pistol, 500 00:28:04,767 --> 00:28:06,101 lily-water city chickens 501 00:28:06,102 --> 00:28:08,854 to run through Grandpa Alvin's trick house? 502 00:28:08,855 --> 00:28:10,230 When I'm gone, you'll be reeve, 503 00:28:10,231 --> 00:28:12,065 and you can run things any way you want. 504 00:28:12,066 --> 00:28:13,608 Until then, you just do your job. 505 00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:14,693 So help me, Dennis, 506 00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:15,777 I'll cut you out of the will. 507 00:28:15,778 --> 00:28:17,279 You won't get so much as Flossie the nag. 508 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,364 I always do my job, and you know it. 509 00:28:19,365 --> 00:28:20,407 But I don't mind letting you know 510 00:28:20,408 --> 00:28:21,992 my duties end right here at this bench. 511 00:28:21,993 --> 00:28:24,119 Oh, fine. Go suck a bug. 512 00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:29,332 Are you okay? 513 00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,418 What are we going to do? 514 00:28:31,419 --> 00:28:33,879 - Oh, Fausto. - What was that for?! 515 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,380 How could you be so insensitive? 516 00:28:35,381 --> 00:28:37,299 What do you mean? What are you talking about? 517 00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:39,301 Fausto, you better do something about this. 518 00:28:39,302 --> 00:28:42,304 Nina, you're pulling on my coat. Now, cool it! 519 00:28:42,305 --> 00:28:43,763 I had us out of here! 520 00:28:43,764 --> 00:28:45,932 Then you had to go and open your big mouth. 521 00:28:46,934 --> 00:28:48,560 You had us out of here? 522 00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:50,312 We would've been here another two hours, 523 00:28:50,313 --> 00:28:52,355 listening to the history of the Valkenburger farm, 524 00:28:52,356 --> 00:28:53,690 or wherever the hell we are! 525 00:28:53,691 --> 00:28:55,525 I knew that I couldn't depend on you. 526 00:28:55,526 --> 00:28:57,027 Listen, I don't need this! 527 00:28:57,028 --> 00:28:59,988 I was just trying to drive us to Atlantic City, for you! 528 00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:01,448 - Oh, is that right? - Yeah! 529 00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:06,411 You're no longer our financial advisor! You're fired! 530 00:29:06,829 --> 00:29:07,871 - Shut up! - Shut up! 531 00:29:13,794 --> 00:29:15,712 Miami, baby, here we come. 532 00:29:15,713 --> 00:29:16,546 Yeah, you can spend 533 00:29:16,547 --> 00:29:17,589 - all your money on me. - Here, take this. 534 00:29:17,590 --> 00:29:18,548 Oh, baby, I'll spend- 535 00:29:18,549 --> 00:29:22,219 Have they got a Jacuzzi in this place? 536 00:29:35,233 --> 00:29:36,441 We got company. 537 00:29:36,442 --> 00:29:38,318 - Want this? - Nah. 538 00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:40,654 Oh, shit. Oh, shit! Pass it back. 539 00:29:40,655 --> 00:29:41,821 - Gimme this! - Oh, God. 540 00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:43,531 - Get rid of the bottles. - Gimmee that! 541 00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:45,492 - Here, you take the bottle. - Get rid of the bottle. 542 00:29:45,493 --> 00:29:46,660 Hey, Arty, don't give 543 00:29:46,661 --> 00:29:47,911 your real license again? 544 00:29:47,912 --> 00:29:49,204 - Don't worry. I'll take care of it. 545 00:29:57,588 --> 00:29:59,089 - Where's the pot? - Would you shut up? 546 00:29:59,090 --> 00:30:00,548 No, I want you to pass it to me. 547 00:30:00,549 --> 00:30:01,508 - No! - Did we stop? 548 00:30:01,509 --> 00:30:03,593 It's under the seat. 549 00:30:06,097 --> 00:30:09,140 - Where's the bottles? - Shut up. 550 00:30:10,977 --> 00:30:13,270 Good evening. 551 00:30:13,271 --> 00:30:14,729 Driver, step out of the car please. 552 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:16,690 Okay. 553 00:30:16,691 --> 00:30:18,275 Good evening, officer. 554 00:30:20,945 --> 00:30:22,070 Chief. 555 00:30:23,406 --> 00:30:25,073 Driver's license, registration, 556 00:30:25,074 --> 00:30:27,117 insurance, and fitness certificate please. 557 00:30:35,876 --> 00:30:38,753 Okay, Arthur, have you been drinking tonight, son? 558 00:30:38,754 --> 00:30:40,088 - No. - I had a couple. 559 00:30:40,089 --> 00:30:41,423 So what? I'm fine. 560 00:30:41,424 --> 00:30:42,882 I'm afraid you'll have to blow. 561 00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:44,175 Blow you? 562 00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:47,012 To get out of a ticket? Forget it, Tom. 563 00:30:47,013 --> 00:30:48,430 That's not funny. 564 00:30:48,431 --> 00:30:50,181 I meant you'll have to use a breathalyzer. 565 00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:53,560 I'll blow him. 566 00:30:53,561 --> 00:30:55,770 Maybe later, next century. 567 00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:57,063 - Let's go, son. - Ooh. 568 00:30:57,064 --> 00:30:58,315 Oh, come on, officer, we were- 569 00:31:04,822 --> 00:31:07,407 You blew double drunk within the village limits. 570 00:31:07,408 --> 00:31:09,159 You're going with me. 571 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,077 Sure. Whatever you say, officer. 572 00:31:12,580 --> 00:31:14,497 Say good night, copper. 573 00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:16,791 Please. Please, no. 574 00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:18,918 Don't kill me. 575 00:31:19,962 --> 00:31:23,048 Chiefy, pal, I was only kiddin'. 576 00:31:25,384 --> 00:31:26,676 Okay. 577 00:31:32,933 --> 00:31:34,559 - No! - My God! 578 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,311 And will you look at his face? 579 00:31:36,312 --> 00:31:38,146 Is that nose rubber? 580 00:31:38,147 --> 00:31:40,398 Hey, I don't want you. I want Judge Wapner. 581 00:31:43,069 --> 00:31:45,737 I have to plead the 5th dimension. 582 00:31:45,738 --> 00:31:47,072 Okay. Okay. 583 00:31:47,073 --> 00:31:48,531 Well, let's see here, what we got. 584 00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:51,910 We got your, crack and ice cocaine here. 585 00:31:51,911 --> 00:31:55,121 You got your pills and your vials of coke, 586 00:31:55,122 --> 00:31:57,415 snorters, and pipes, and grinders, and, 587 00:31:57,416 --> 00:32:02,045 got your gun here, and you got your switchblade knives. 588 00:32:02,046 --> 00:32:04,089 Well, since you're all havin' a whirl of a time 589 00:32:04,090 --> 00:32:05,799 on some some kind of a hopped-up date, 590 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,426 I believe that we can get this all over relatively simply 591 00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:09,469 and have you people on your way, 592 00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:11,846 so step forward to the bench please. 593 00:32:11,847 --> 00:32:14,349 Hey, see that? Thanks for understandin', Judge. 594 00:32:14,350 --> 00:32:15,183 You know what I'm saying? 595 00:32:17,061 --> 00:32:19,062 You take care of this. I'm gonna go out for a smoke. 596 00:32:19,063 --> 00:32:20,271 Go for a smoke? 597 00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:22,273 Dennis, they've got guns, drugs. 598 00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:26,319 One of them tried to kill ya. I'm staying to watch. 599 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,696 Okay, I hereby find all parties culpable 600 00:32:28,697 --> 00:32:30,865 in these matters as charged, and so choose to inveigh 601 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:32,617 the maximum levy for these violations, 602 00:32:32,618 --> 00:32:34,327 and do therefore deem that you be conveyed 603 00:32:34,328 --> 00:32:37,247 to a wholly, oh, awful place of execution, 604 00:32:37,248 --> 00:32:38,706 wherein you shall be put to death. 605 00:32:54,974 --> 00:32:56,433 What's going on? 606 00:33:01,439 --> 00:33:02,856 Yes. 607 00:33:19,915 --> 00:33:22,333 What the hell's goin' on here? 608 00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:23,168 I'll tell you what, there. 609 00:33:23,169 --> 00:33:24,377 I'll give you all your coke 610 00:33:24,378 --> 00:33:25,920 and your grinders and spoons 611 00:33:25,921 --> 00:33:28,423 and pot, guns and knives, and all that back to you, 612 00:33:28,424 --> 00:33:30,467 when you come out the other end. 613 00:34:02,041 --> 00:34:03,791 Look, I'm sure these are reasonable people. 614 00:34:03,792 --> 00:34:05,460 They'll have to entertain some kind of an offer. 615 00:34:10,299 --> 00:34:11,674 They're coming. 616 00:34:13,344 --> 00:34:15,136 Okay, folks. 617 00:34:15,137 --> 00:34:19,349 Get up here for supper. 618 00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:22,560 See? Reasonable people, supper. 619 00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:23,895 Supper. 620 00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:27,023 A little white wine, arugala salad, maybe some pasta. 621 00:34:52,258 --> 00:34:53,841 Welcome to supper. 622 00:34:55,678 --> 00:34:58,304 How 'bout a nice Hawaiian Punch? 623 00:35:07,147 --> 00:35:08,690 Thank you, Judge. 624 00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:10,692 You know, there's nothing better 625 00:35:10,693 --> 00:35:12,068 at the end of a long day on the road, 626 00:35:12,069 --> 00:35:15,530 than a nice, warm glass of Hawaiian Punch. 627 00:35:19,660 --> 00:35:21,536 Here's to good friends. 628 00:35:26,166 --> 00:35:28,793 Does he treat all traffic violators this graciously? 629 00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:33,214 Only the ones he takes special interest in, like bankers. 630 00:35:33,215 --> 00:35:35,717 Ants on a Log, ma'am? 631 00:35:39,555 --> 00:35:41,264 Yeah, I'd love one. 632 00:35:44,184 --> 00:35:47,145 - Cousin? - Oh, ants. Oh, yeah, sure. 633 00:36:03,787 --> 00:36:06,873 Oh, folks. 634 00:36:06,874 --> 00:36:10,752 I'd like to introduce my granddaughter, Eldona. 635 00:36:12,296 --> 00:36:16,799 She's single and the best Class A mechanic in five states. 636 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,009 She's adorable, Judge. 637 00:36:18,010 --> 00:36:19,927 She'd make an ideal wife too. 638 00:36:19,928 --> 00:36:21,804 Genuine wage-earner. 639 00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:24,057 Struck dumb at birth by a thunderclap. 640 00:36:24,058 --> 00:36:26,267 My kinda woman. 641 00:36:26,268 --> 00:36:29,646 I think the two of you'd make a perfect couple. 642 00:36:32,274 --> 00:36:34,275 You look pretty this evening, sister. 643 00:36:34,276 --> 00:36:35,818 Doing something different with your hair? 644 00:36:42,284 --> 00:36:44,285 Eldona, would you please prepare the meal? 645 00:36:44,286 --> 00:36:46,496 Thank you, dear. 646 00:36:56,340 --> 00:36:58,341 - Wanna see the wine list? - Young man! 647 00:36:58,342 --> 00:37:00,176 It is basic human politeness 648 00:37:00,177 --> 00:37:02,136 to share your conversation with the whole table. 649 00:37:02,137 --> 00:37:04,097 So what's on your brain? 650 00:37:05,974 --> 00:37:06,974 Alvin, I was just thinking, 651 00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:08,810 you've got enough, vintage steel around here 652 00:37:08,811 --> 00:37:10,770 to make a few thousand Toyotas. 653 00:37:10,771 --> 00:37:13,731 Ever think of selling the whole place to the Japanese? 654 00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:15,817 There you go! Does the Pope wear a hat? 655 00:37:15,818 --> 00:37:17,568 Was Sergeant York's mother an angel? 656 00:37:17,569 --> 00:37:19,320 And will a banker grope for money? 657 00:37:19,321 --> 00:37:21,114 I'm not a banker, I'm a financial publisher. 658 00:37:21,115 --> 00:37:22,865 Yeah, well, all I know, is in '17, 659 00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:24,742 after they shipped me off to fight, 660 00:37:24,743 --> 00:37:27,328 some New York financier rolled in here one day 661 00:37:27,329 --> 00:37:30,331 and hoglowsered and tubwangled my grandfather 662 00:37:30,332 --> 00:37:32,333 into mining the whole place out, 663 00:37:32,334 --> 00:37:34,335 in exchange for shares in something called 664 00:37:34,336 --> 00:37:36,838 the United Coke Company. 665 00:37:36,839 --> 00:37:41,008 Do you know what those stock certificates are worth today? 666 00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:45,805 Just about the finest outhouse wallpaper you've ever seen! 667 00:37:46,682 --> 00:37:50,059 We were forced to become what you drove through today, 668 00:37:50,060 --> 00:37:53,771 a burnt-out coal field, and the biggest icebox graveyard 669 00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:56,691 east of the Ohio foundry belt. 670 00:37:56,692 --> 00:38:00,570 And that's why I never let a banker go. 671 00:38:00,571 --> 00:38:05,283 So your grandpa made a lousy deal. Is that our problem? 672 00:38:05,284 --> 00:38:09,245 Judge, that's a very tragic, tragic story. 673 00:38:09,246 --> 00:38:10,288 I believe it is. 674 00:38:10,289 --> 00:38:12,165 You should do a book. 675 00:38:16,170 --> 00:38:18,212 How do you like your dog, folks? 676 00:38:23,093 --> 00:38:24,218 They're serving dog? 677 00:38:24,219 --> 00:38:26,053 No, no, no, hot dogs. 678 00:38:26,054 --> 00:38:28,389 Dutch Country Herefords, prize-winners. 679 00:38:28,390 --> 00:38:30,933 Hot dog. 680 00:38:30,934 --> 00:38:31,851 Stadium franks, you know, 681 00:38:31,852 --> 00:38:34,771 like they had before they brought in night games. 682 00:38:45,991 --> 00:38:47,325 Okay. Let's eat. 683 00:39:24,029 --> 00:39:25,112 Here's how I like 'em, 684 00:39:25,113 --> 00:39:29,200 and I suggest you have 'em the same way. 685 00:39:39,795 --> 00:39:41,546 Go ahead, there, folks. 686 00:39:41,547 --> 00:39:44,590 Fix yourself up a couple of dogs. 687 00:40:16,665 --> 00:40:18,207 Wha? 688 00:40:18,208 --> 00:40:19,417 Whatt was that? 689 00:40:20,460 --> 00:40:24,046 Just the mine fire, burnin' since 1926. 690 00:40:24,047 --> 00:40:27,174 Nothing that'll cause us to interrupt our meal. 691 00:40:27,175 --> 00:40:28,050 He hopes. 692 00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:33,764 Come on, now, mix up them condiments the way I do! 693 00:40:47,487 --> 00:40:48,779 That's enough. 694 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:52,825 I'm gonna flip out. Get behind me, baby. 695 00:40:52,826 --> 00:40:55,369 You people are sick, wicked, 696 00:40:55,370 --> 00:40:58,748 funky, misanthropic, codependent animals! 697 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,918 And I won't have my sister, 698 00:41:01,919 --> 00:41:03,669 who was once the queen of the Mardi Gras, 699 00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:06,797 sitting at a table, with a pickle-shooting train! 700 00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:09,216 He's right. We gotta go. 701 00:41:09,217 --> 00:41:10,551 Ai! 702 00:41:10,552 --> 00:41:12,345 Fine. 703 00:41:12,346 --> 00:41:13,596 Come on, baby. 704 00:41:23,023 --> 00:41:26,359 Ervilla, put that up. Use the dogs. 705 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:27,652 - Run! - Bastard! 706 00:41:34,576 --> 00:41:36,202 Take your hand off her! 707 00:41:36,203 --> 00:41:37,745 Ooh! Ah! 708 00:41:37,746 --> 00:41:39,372 That's more like it. 709 00:41:41,917 --> 00:41:44,085 Eldona, if you would please, show them to their room. 710 00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:46,587 Easy. 711 00:41:46,588 --> 00:41:48,506 Where do you work out? 712 00:41:52,636 --> 00:41:54,345 Those people have no dignity! 713 00:41:54,346 --> 00:41:56,555 Fausto, you were a hero! 714 00:41:56,556 --> 00:41:59,517 Oh, Fausto, and they had such ugly, ugly food! 715 00:41:59,518 --> 00:42:04,021 Fausto, what is that smell? 716 00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:05,690 It smells like Sao Paulo. 717 00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:08,901 - Toxics! - Toxics! 718 00:42:08,902 --> 00:42:10,069 - Oh. - Oh, baby, we've got to 719 00:42:10,070 --> 00:42:11,654 - swim through that. - Oh, no! 720 00:42:11,655 --> 00:42:12,947 Fausto, Fausto, you're not going 721 00:42:12,948 --> 00:42:15,449 to make me swim through toxics, Fausto! 722 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:16,993 I cannot believe it! 723 00:42:16,994 --> 00:42:17,910 Baby, we've got to get to the freeway! 724 00:42:17,911 --> 00:42:19,120 Ah, no! 725 00:42:19,121 --> 00:42:20,287 We've got to get to the freeway. 726 00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:22,081 Fausto, I don't deserve this. 727 00:42:22,082 --> 00:42:23,708 - How could I- - Close your mouth. 728 00:42:23,709 --> 00:42:25,418 Okay. 729 00:42:25,419 --> 00:42:27,044 Oh, don't let me go! 730 00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:29,463 Oh! 731 00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:35,720 Fausto! 732 00:42:35,721 --> 00:42:36,804 Come on. Come on, let's- 733 00:42:50,110 --> 00:42:52,069 You haven't got the correct time, have you? 734 00:42:52,070 --> 00:42:53,446 My watch is slow. 735 00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:14,425 Let me see if I can get a fire started. 736 00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:17,678 Fausto, we did it. 737 00:43:19,014 --> 00:43:20,431 - We did it! - We did it, man! 738 00:43:20,432 --> 00:43:21,390 We did it! 739 00:43:21,391 --> 00:43:23,476 Carlo Rossi to the Bahamas, man. 740 00:43:23,477 --> 00:43:26,062 - We're going to the Bahamas! - We're going to the Bahamas! 741 00:43:26,063 --> 00:43:27,271 Have a nice time. 742 00:43:27,272 --> 00:43:29,065 - We did that. Let's go. - Ai! Ai! 743 00:43:29,066 --> 00:43:30,775 - Let's find a road. - We hitch hike to a truck. 744 00:43:30,776 --> 00:43:32,568 - Okay, we hitch hike. - We hitch hike to a truck. 745 00:43:32,569 --> 00:43:36,280 That is completely- 746 00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:38,324 Congratulations, folks. 747 00:43:38,325 --> 00:43:40,034 You made it across our gully. 748 00:43:40,035 --> 00:43:41,368 You should get a prize. 749 00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:45,372 Please, let us go. Let our friends go. 750 00:43:45,373 --> 00:43:47,833 We're rich. We'll give you anything. 751 00:43:47,834 --> 00:43:49,251 - Solid. - Liquid. 752 00:43:49,252 --> 00:43:50,169 Rich. 753 00:43:50,170 --> 00:43:52,379 What am I gonna do with money? 754 00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:55,299 All I do is work for the reeve since I was eight. 755 00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:57,384 I got free room and board. 756 00:43:57,385 --> 00:43:59,720 Only you have the power to help us. 757 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,644 Dude, it looks like you need a nice 758 00:44:06,645 --> 00:44:09,647 couple a-weeks holiday, you know? 759 00:44:09,648 --> 00:44:12,024 Nice. Time off from your job. 760 00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:16,654 You peeled the correct banana there. 761 00:44:16,655 --> 00:44:19,198 Leisure time. Kick back. 762 00:44:19,199 --> 00:44:22,535 Nice. Fish tacos. 763 00:44:23,954 --> 00:44:26,205 Quick, hide. 764 00:44:26,206 --> 00:44:27,289 - Oh! - Go on. 765 00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:28,707 It's my cousin! Come on! 766 00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:31,001 The original, all-purpose Ditch Witch. 767 00:44:31,002 --> 00:44:32,878 Hide! Get down! 768 00:44:32,879 --> 00:44:34,338 All of this is about some hustler 769 00:44:34,339 --> 00:44:36,549 who dumped on you, right? 770 00:44:36,550 --> 00:44:37,341 Isn't it? 771 00:44:38,343 --> 00:44:40,886 Well, what about Suntz? Really. 772 00:44:44,599 --> 00:44:45,599 I mean, what were you planning on doing, 773 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,269 when you got down to Atlantic City and confronted him? 774 00:44:48,270 --> 00:44:50,104 Slap his face in front of a roomful of investors? 775 00:44:50,105 --> 00:44:51,480 That's a hell of a way to break up with a guy, 776 00:44:51,481 --> 00:44:52,857 if that's what you're doing. 777 00:44:57,112 --> 00:44:59,905 So you picked the wrong guy. 778 00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:02,032 Happens to the best of us. 779 00:45:04,411 --> 00:45:07,580 I've been through this. 780 00:45:07,581 --> 00:45:10,791 You know, when it comes to love, 781 00:45:10,792 --> 00:45:12,501 there's no accounting for taste. 782 00:45:12,502 --> 00:45:14,920 Hell, I used to be married to Imelda Marcos. 783 00:45:16,798 --> 00:45:19,049 You don't have to put yourself through this. 784 00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:22,469 Guy like that's gonna end up burying himself anyway. 785 00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:26,932 He doesn't deserve you. You're too good for him. 786 00:45:26,933 --> 00:45:29,143 Oh, I'm just such a jerk. 787 00:45:30,187 --> 00:45:33,731 I mean, why do I always pick the wrong guy? 788 00:45:36,151 --> 00:45:37,109 I mean, I'm. 789 00:45:39,154 --> 00:45:41,780 I'm so trusting and so gullible. 790 00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:46,785 I mean, I don't know why I'm such a pushover. 791 00:45:48,163 --> 00:45:50,289 I mean, I'm such a sucker. 792 00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:55,628 I just love a pretty face. 793 00:45:58,006 --> 00:45:59,298 Oh, it's, 794 00:45:59,299 --> 00:46:01,342 oh, it's so embarrassing. 795 00:46:04,638 --> 00:46:05,429 Oh! Ooh! 796 00:46:06,514 --> 00:46:07,973 I better lie down. 797 00:46:09,517 --> 00:46:11,560 Oh, you're nothing but trouble. 798 00:46:11,561 --> 00:46:13,604 Ooh! Oh. 799 00:47:06,491 --> 00:47:07,741 What the hell are you doing? 800 00:47:07,742 --> 00:47:09,118 That wasn't me. That was the bed. 801 00:47:15,834 --> 00:47:17,042 Let's get out of here. 802 00:47:31,683 --> 00:47:32,474 Up here. 803 00:47:37,272 --> 00:47:38,063 Come on. 804 00:47:40,275 --> 00:47:43,277 In this room! 805 00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:46,322 This way. 806 00:47:46,323 --> 00:47:47,364 There's got to be a way out of here. 807 00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:48,907 Over here. 808 00:47:48,908 --> 00:47:52,244 Must be the nursery. 809 00:47:57,584 --> 00:47:59,293 - Bat room. - Ew, guano. 810 00:48:01,463 --> 00:48:04,840 "Marjorie Valkenheiser. She forgot to duck." 811 00:48:08,136 --> 00:48:12,222 Jesus, it's moving! 812 00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:13,557 Oh, no! 813 00:48:13,558 --> 00:48:15,184 No! Oh, oh, no! 814 00:48:15,185 --> 00:48:17,227 Oh, oh, oh! 815 00:48:23,318 --> 00:48:26,403 Oh, Jesus. We got to get out of here. 816 00:48:26,404 --> 00:48:28,280 How far does this go? 817 00:48:28,281 --> 00:48:29,281 It goes all the way to- 818 00:48:29,282 --> 00:48:30,282 Oh! Oye! 819 00:48:30,283 --> 00:48:31,742 All the way up to here. 820 00:48:31,743 --> 00:48:33,410 Are you all right? 821 00:48:33,411 --> 00:48:34,661 It's a blind staircase. 822 00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:36,455 - Maybe I can, oh! - Let me see. Wait. 823 00:48:36,456 --> 00:48:37,748 Pull that one. 824 00:48:37,749 --> 00:48:38,874 Got it. Go on. 825 00:48:42,045 --> 00:48:43,337 Jesus, look out! 826 00:48:45,632 --> 00:48:47,633 You all right? 827 00:48:49,761 --> 00:48:54,139 I don't know how much more of this crap I can take. 828 00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,814 We're trapped. 829 00:49:04,067 --> 00:49:06,443 Wow, look at all these IDs. 830 00:49:08,321 --> 00:49:12,533 What is this? 831 00:49:12,534 --> 00:49:14,201 There must be thousands of 'em. 832 00:49:14,202 --> 00:49:16,829 Passports and Auto Club cards. 833 00:49:20,375 --> 00:49:25,087 Wow, a license, "Virginia Horse and Trappings, 1896." 834 00:49:25,088 --> 00:49:30,092 "Statewide search for outlaw biker gang underway." 835 00:49:30,093 --> 00:49:33,262 "Busloads of Hare Krishnas disappears. " 836 00:49:35,432 --> 00:49:38,976 "Ex-Nazi rocket scientist vanishes, '49." 837 00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:43,689 All these IDs match the, the news clippings. 838 00:49:45,150 --> 00:49:46,191 Look at this. 839 00:49:47,694 --> 00:49:50,946 "Jimmy Hoffa still missing" and here's his ID. 840 00:49:50,947 --> 00:49:52,406 Are you kidding? 841 00:49:53,700 --> 00:49:56,535 Oh, wow. 842 00:49:56,536 --> 00:49:58,162 You know, I think they've been doing this 843 00:49:58,163 --> 00:49:59,955 around here since the 1890s, 844 00:49:59,956 --> 00:50:03,167 and I don't see any reason why they're gonna stop at us. 845 00:50:03,168 --> 00:50:04,710 I mean, look at this. 846 00:50:04,711 --> 00:50:07,421 They're all criminals and creeps. 847 00:50:08,590 --> 00:50:09,381 Bankers. 848 00:50:11,217 --> 00:50:12,009 Exactly. 849 00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:15,846 Nah. 850 00:50:20,393 --> 00:50:21,727 What happened? 851 00:50:57,931 --> 00:51:00,807 Oh. I wish we were on that train. 852 00:51:04,687 --> 00:51:07,898 Me too. 853 00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:23,038 Good luck, slick. 854 00:51:31,089 --> 00:51:33,131 Hey, look at this, it's a slide. 855 00:51:33,132 --> 00:51:34,383 Yeah, but this is no playground. 856 00:51:34,384 --> 00:51:36,510 Could be a bed of spikes down there. 857 00:51:38,096 --> 00:51:38,929 Let's go. 858 00:51:38,930 --> 00:51:42,140 - Come on. - Go. You go. Take it slow. 859 00:51:45,228 --> 00:51:48,647 Oh, shit! 860 00:52:01,119 --> 00:52:02,160 Diane! 861 00:52:03,913 --> 00:52:05,038 Diane! 862 00:52:10,503 --> 00:52:12,212 Where, why, what, what, when? 863 00:52:12,213 --> 00:52:13,880 Oh, no! 864 00:52:15,008 --> 00:52:18,552 Oh. What the? 865 00:52:22,974 --> 00:52:24,266 Chris? 866 00:52:24,267 --> 00:52:26,643 Chris? 867 00:52:26,644 --> 00:52:27,436 Come on. 868 00:52:30,064 --> 00:52:33,775 Chris! Chris, you get down here right now! 869 00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:34,568 Come on. 870 00:53:06,893 --> 00:53:11,229 Oh, yeah. Yes, always was a good-looking fella. 871 00:53:41,803 --> 00:53:42,678 The Beemer. 872 00:54:30,727 --> 00:54:31,768 The Beemer. 873 00:54:41,696 --> 00:54:44,364 Oh! 874 00:54:56,252 --> 00:54:57,043 Fantastic. 875 00:55:00,006 --> 00:55:01,673 This is Cell-net One. 876 00:55:01,674 --> 00:55:03,925 The system to which you subscribe has no agreement 877 00:55:03,926 --> 00:55:05,552 - with our service. - What? 878 00:55:05,553 --> 00:55:06,762 For you to make- 879 00:55:15,271 --> 00:55:17,105 Gee, we have to finish this work 880 00:55:17,106 --> 00:55:19,065 for Grandpa Alvin, okay? 881 00:55:21,068 --> 00:55:22,903 We're always working for him. 882 00:55:22,904 --> 00:55:26,072 He treats us like we're his dogs, not his grandsons. 883 00:55:26,073 --> 00:55:28,909 We got no human rights. 884 00:55:28,910 --> 00:55:32,496 He's just mad that we both got so fat, we couldn't 885 00:55:32,497 --> 00:55:34,331 finish high school. 886 00:55:34,332 --> 00:55:36,124 You're the fat one, 887 00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:38,668 because you always eat too much cereal. 888 00:55:38,669 --> 00:55:40,295 You're the one who's fat. 889 00:55:40,296 --> 00:55:42,005 Not as fat as you. 890 00:55:42,006 --> 00:55:44,007 - You're the fat one. - No, I'm not. 891 00:55:44,008 --> 00:55:45,550 Look, just get the hammer. 892 00:55:45,551 --> 00:55:46,927 I got it. 893 00:55:56,562 --> 00:55:59,022 Can't you hold that straight? 894 00:55:59,023 --> 00:56:01,525 Hey. You're the one who's forging. 895 00:56:01,526 --> 00:56:03,819 Can't you even see? 896 00:56:03,820 --> 00:56:06,071 I can see you're stupidest! 897 00:56:06,072 --> 00:56:08,031 Oh, that's it! 898 00:56:08,032 --> 00:56:10,242 I am never working for you 899 00:56:10,243 --> 00:56:12,744 in this foundry again. 900 00:56:12,745 --> 00:56:14,120 Never! 901 00:56:14,121 --> 00:56:17,040 Give me that. Go get a ball-peen hammer. 902 00:56:17,041 --> 00:56:17,999 No! 903 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:19,793 You know, the one that's round on the end. 904 00:56:19,794 --> 00:56:22,921 I know the ball-peen hammer's round. 905 00:56:26,092 --> 00:56:28,051 He thinks I'm his child! 906 00:56:31,681 --> 00:56:33,723 Oh! Trespasser! 907 00:56:33,724 --> 00:56:35,642 Get her! Get her! 908 00:56:35,643 --> 00:56:37,269 Oh! 909 00:56:37,270 --> 00:56:39,312 Stop, trespasser, stop! 910 00:56:45,194 --> 00:56:46,403 Hi. 911 00:56:46,404 --> 00:56:47,737 Eldona's got her. 912 00:56:47,738 --> 00:56:49,322 - That's good. - Yes, that's good. 913 00:56:49,323 --> 00:56:51,783 Eldona's got her. 914 00:56:51,784 --> 00:56:54,494 - That's not good. - No, that's no good. 915 00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:57,497 No! What are you doing? 916 00:56:57,498 --> 00:56:59,583 - No, Eldona, no! - Please stop! 917 00:56:59,584 --> 00:57:00,959 Oh! No, no, no! 918 00:57:02,753 --> 00:57:04,588 - No! Don't do it! - No! What are you doing? 919 00:57:04,589 --> 00:57:05,797 No, no, no! 920 00:57:05,798 --> 00:57:08,842 Don't throw her in the mine fire vent please! 921 00:57:08,843 --> 00:57:11,636 We just wanna play with her. 922 00:57:11,637 --> 00:57:14,973 Ooh, thank you. 923 00:57:14,974 --> 00:57:16,725 - Thank you. - Thank you. 924 00:57:21,147 --> 00:57:22,939 Yes, yes, yes. I know, I know. 925 00:57:22,940 --> 00:57:24,691 We won't lose her. 926 00:57:24,692 --> 00:57:25,734 Hi. I'm Bobo. 927 00:57:27,778 --> 00:57:29,404 That's L'il Debbull. 928 00:57:31,574 --> 00:57:34,618 Hi. We're not allowed in the house. 929 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:39,539 Oh. Is she okay? 930 00:58:01,896 --> 00:58:04,105 Judge Valkenheiser. 931 00:58:04,106 --> 00:58:06,775 - Judge! - What? 932 00:58:06,776 --> 00:58:09,277 I got some speeders! I'm bringin' them in. 933 00:58:09,278 --> 00:58:10,695 I'll meet you in the courtroom. 934 00:58:10,696 --> 00:58:11,655 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 935 00:58:11,656 --> 00:58:13,698 Keep all your fat parts in one place. 936 00:58:13,699 --> 00:58:15,241 I'll be right down. 937 00:58:29,882 --> 00:58:32,759 Alright, that's it, fellas. 938 00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:34,761 Right up the stairs. Right up there. 939 00:58:34,762 --> 00:58:35,720 Here we are, gentlemen. 940 00:58:35,721 --> 00:58:37,097 Come along. Join the party. 941 00:58:37,098 --> 00:58:38,556 Thank you very much. 942 00:58:38,557 --> 00:58:39,933 Come on. Everybody comes. 943 00:58:41,352 --> 00:58:43,687 Man, would you look at this place? 944 00:58:43,688 --> 00:58:46,231 It's like extremely Draculated. 945 00:58:46,232 --> 00:58:47,649 White man's heaven. 946 00:58:47,650 --> 00:58:49,526 One at a time. Here we are. 947 00:58:49,527 --> 00:58:50,944 We're home. Let's go. 948 00:58:50,945 --> 00:58:52,904 One, two, three. Lickety-split. 949 00:58:52,905 --> 00:58:55,490 She is one ugly, cross-burnin', 950 00:58:55,491 --> 00:58:57,701 redneck, peckerwood police bitch, man. 951 00:58:57,702 --> 00:58:59,160 All right, move. 952 00:59:00,413 --> 00:59:03,206 A good man's work is never done. 953 00:59:09,964 --> 00:59:12,298 Sat around all day, 954 00:59:12,299 --> 00:59:13,508 listening to all those stories. 955 00:59:13,509 --> 00:59:17,554 Why, I wanna relax and just. 956 00:59:53,299 --> 00:59:56,384 "Village Reeve Hurt in Foundry Blast." 957 00:59:56,385 --> 00:59:59,637 So that's what happened to the poor, old, ugly pus-bag. 958 00:59:59,638 --> 01:00:02,265 I thought I took care of my vermin problem last year! 959 01:00:02,266 --> 01:00:03,641 No! 960 01:00:03,642 --> 01:00:04,934 I'm glad I forgot my pistol. 961 01:00:08,397 --> 01:00:10,190 Bad call, corn flake. 962 01:00:10,191 --> 01:00:12,275 I left that leg in France. 963 01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:14,903 And now, I'm gonna stick you! 964 01:00:14,904 --> 01:00:16,738 - You're crazy! - I'm gonna dig so many 965 01:00:16,739 --> 01:00:18,239 new holes in you, 966 01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:20,617 you're gonna look like a salt shaker! 967 01:00:22,203 --> 01:00:27,165 Get your Italian loafers out of my bedpan! 968 01:00:29,502 --> 01:00:31,586 You crazy! Crazy! 969 01:00:33,214 --> 01:00:35,882 I'm gonna make you cry now, boy. 970 01:00:35,883 --> 01:00:38,009 Chew on this, you stinking relic! 971 01:00:38,010 --> 01:00:38,885 My skunk! 972 01:00:48,020 --> 01:00:51,397 You know, you are worse than a week of yellow shit storms. 973 01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:53,650 First, I find you rooting around in my private things. 974 01:00:53,651 --> 01:00:56,319 Now you're making advances against my little granddaughter. 975 01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:57,445 I was just trying to get away from you. 976 01:00:57,446 --> 01:00:59,322 I ran into her, okay? 977 01:00:59,323 --> 01:01:01,116 Well, she's got your taint on her now. 978 01:01:01,117 --> 01:01:02,408 Taint. 979 01:01:02,409 --> 01:01:04,077 No choice but house policy. 980 01:01:04,078 --> 01:01:05,787 Fine. House policy. 981 01:01:05,788 --> 01:01:07,122 What's house policy? 982 01:01:07,123 --> 01:01:09,499 Well, whatever man touches her is the one she keeps. 983 01:01:09,500 --> 01:01:10,667 What? 984 01:01:10,668 --> 01:01:11,751 What are you talking? 985 01:01:11,752 --> 01:01:13,044 Oh, no. Wait a minute. 986 01:01:13,045 --> 01:01:14,420 Oh, no. Wait a minute! 987 01:01:14,421 --> 01:01:15,588 Wait a minute! 988 01:01:15,589 --> 01:01:18,007 I just went through a goddamn stop sign. 989 01:01:18,008 --> 01:01:21,136 I just wanna get to Atlantic City. Please, judge. 990 01:01:21,137 --> 01:01:24,722 She'll know what to do with him. 991 01:01:27,852 --> 01:01:30,311 What the hell is that? 992 01:01:36,068 --> 01:01:38,695 Okay, what's goin' on? Boy! 993 01:01:38,696 --> 01:01:40,446 Oh, 12:30, isn't it? 994 01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:41,281 It's kind of late. 995 01:01:41,282 --> 01:01:44,075 I was dreaming there, I was back in France on furlough. 996 01:01:44,076 --> 01:01:47,162 Step forward, Constable. What are the charges here? 997 01:01:47,163 --> 01:01:48,037 Speedin'. 998 01:01:49,456 --> 01:01:51,416 75 in a 50. In a hearse. 999 01:01:53,085 --> 01:01:55,461 If it's an ambulance, you got a chance. 1000 01:01:55,462 --> 01:01:58,339 If it's in a hearse, gotta be worse. 1001 01:01:59,300 --> 01:02:00,592 Okay. 1002 01:02:00,593 --> 01:02:02,802 Oh, this is a union card? 1003 01:02:02,803 --> 01:02:04,012 What are you, mine workers? 1004 01:02:04,013 --> 01:02:06,848 Nah, man. We're musicians. 1005 01:02:06,849 --> 01:02:08,308 We're a hip-hop band. 1006 01:02:08,309 --> 01:02:10,143 See what I'm sayin'? 1007 01:02:10,144 --> 01:02:11,728 Hip-hop? Musicians? 1008 01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:13,563 So youse, youse all musicians? 1009 01:02:13,564 --> 01:02:14,814 Yeah. Deejays. 1010 01:02:14,815 --> 01:02:16,065 Constable, you search the vehicle? 1011 01:02:16,066 --> 01:02:17,317 Oh, yes, sir, I did. 1012 01:02:17,318 --> 01:02:20,320 It contains musical items. 1013 01:02:20,321 --> 01:02:22,280 Well, I, 1014 01:02:22,281 --> 01:02:23,072 well, 1015 01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:25,742 I'd better see 'em. 1016 01:02:25,743 --> 01:02:26,868 Bring 'em all in. Set 'em up. 1017 01:02:26,869 --> 01:02:28,077 Let me see 'em. 1018 01:02:29,580 --> 01:02:31,039 All right. Let's go. 1019 01:03:09,536 --> 01:03:11,204 Eldona, you know he's not supposed 1020 01:03:11,205 --> 01:03:13,623 to see you on this special day. 1021 01:03:13,624 --> 01:03:15,458 Special day? 1022 01:03:15,459 --> 01:03:16,584 What is it, Halloween? 1023 01:03:18,754 --> 01:03:21,214 Right this way, Mr. Snappy Comeback. 1024 01:03:31,558 --> 01:03:33,268 Hey, after this, you can see us 1025 01:03:33,269 --> 01:03:36,312 do our tag team wrestling show, okay? 1026 01:03:36,313 --> 01:03:37,563 - Three. - Okay. 1027 01:03:37,564 --> 01:03:39,649 - Let's go. - Okay. 1028 01:03:39,650 --> 01:03:40,441 Two. 1029 01:03:43,654 --> 01:03:45,196 - I win. My deal. - No, no, no, no. 1030 01:03:45,197 --> 01:03:47,198 Bobo wins, because Bobo's hand was on top. 1031 01:03:47,199 --> 01:03:48,616 Yeah. My hand's on top. 1032 01:03:48,617 --> 01:03:49,909 I win. My deal. 1033 01:03:49,910 --> 01:03:51,369 No, I won. My deal. 1034 01:03:51,370 --> 01:03:52,620 My hand's on top. 1035 01:03:52,621 --> 01:03:53,663 My deal. I win. 1036 01:03:53,664 --> 01:03:54,497 That's right, L'il Debbull. 1037 01:03:54,498 --> 01:03:56,624 It's Bobo's deal, because Bobo's hand was on top. 1038 01:03:56,625 --> 01:03:58,001 - Ah. - Yeah, my hand was on top. 1039 01:03:58,002 --> 01:04:00,461 - I win. My deal. - Okay. 1040 01:04:00,462 --> 01:04:02,922 - Okay. - If I win again, I get 1041 01:04:06,176 --> 01:04:08,052 another bowl of cereal. 1042 01:04:08,053 --> 01:04:10,346 And if I win, I get Diane. 1043 01:04:14,977 --> 01:04:16,519 No, L'il Debbull. 1044 01:04:17,438 --> 01:04:18,563 My deal. 1045 01:04:18,564 --> 01:04:20,440 Okay, Bobo. Deal 'em. 1046 01:04:23,902 --> 01:04:25,695 Drop the beat, J. 1047 01:06:31,947 --> 01:06:35,575 Yes. 1048 01:06:35,576 --> 01:06:36,367 Yep. 1049 01:06:37,244 --> 01:06:40,830 You sure are a gaggle of musicians, sure enough. 1050 01:06:42,249 --> 01:06:45,376 And now, the disposition of your case. 1051 01:06:47,379 --> 01:06:50,131 Gather in a little closer there. 1052 01:06:50,132 --> 01:06:52,717 That's right. Right there. Yeah. 1053 01:06:58,932 --> 01:07:00,683 In light of your contribution to the common good, 1054 01:07:00,684 --> 01:07:02,435 I hereby waive all fines, suspend all sentence. 1055 01:07:02,436 --> 01:07:03,394 You're free to go. 1056 01:07:06,607 --> 01:07:09,108 Hey, hold the harvest. 1057 01:07:09,109 --> 01:07:11,652 There is another matter before the shire court this evening, 1058 01:07:11,653 --> 01:07:15,823 and, well, youse all might be able to help. 1059 01:07:20,829 --> 01:07:22,455 - Where's Diane? - Oh, she went home. 1060 01:07:22,456 --> 01:07:24,540 Listen, I got something better for you. 1061 01:07:24,541 --> 01:07:26,709 First, I think you oughta know something. 1062 01:07:26,710 --> 01:07:27,919 In many cases here, 1063 01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:31,214 I do often choose to inveigh the maximum levy. 1064 01:07:31,215 --> 01:07:33,841 Frequently, undesirables are put to death. 1065 01:07:33,842 --> 01:07:36,010 Oh, sure, I can understand that, Judge, 1066 01:07:36,011 --> 01:07:38,804 but come on, death for running a stop sign? 1067 01:07:38,805 --> 01:07:42,475 And for being a banker. That's the double death. 1068 01:07:42,476 --> 01:07:46,771 However, I'd be willing to cast aside all findings, 1069 01:07:46,772 --> 01:07:49,106 be blind to your banker's blood, 1070 01:07:49,107 --> 01:07:50,733 let you live out your days here 1071 01:07:50,734 --> 01:07:53,903 as husband to my granddaughter, 1072 01:07:53,904 --> 01:07:57,198 father to her child and heir to my seat. 1073 01:08:00,035 --> 01:08:02,245 Wha? What are you saying? 1074 01:08:03,330 --> 01:08:04,789 It's death or Eldona? 1075 01:08:04,790 --> 01:08:07,792 Oh, come on, lad. Take her hand. 1076 01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:09,752 Warm my tired old heart. 1077 01:08:11,046 --> 01:08:13,381 I know women. She loves you. 1078 01:08:13,382 --> 01:08:14,257 Ever since she saw you, 1079 01:08:14,258 --> 01:08:17,468 she's been floating around like milkweed in a spring breeze. 1080 01:08:18,512 --> 01:08:20,054 Make her happy. 1081 01:08:20,055 --> 01:08:21,389 Take care of her needs, 1082 01:08:21,390 --> 01:08:25,518 and you'll inherit a fortune Ali Baba would crave. 1083 01:08:29,523 --> 01:08:33,025 Listen, Judge. 1084 01:08:34,570 --> 01:08:37,530 You know, I've spent some time alone with her, 1085 01:08:37,531 --> 01:08:40,324 and she's a spectacular woman. 1086 01:08:40,325 --> 01:08:42,868 She's quiet but, just shy, just shy. 1087 01:08:42,869 --> 01:08:43,828 - Mute. - Ah. 1088 01:08:45,789 --> 01:08:49,375 But, Judge, as far as her needs are concerned, 1089 01:08:49,376 --> 01:08:51,836 I could never presume to be able to fill them. 1090 01:08:51,837 --> 01:08:53,879 Oh, you can slip on a pud collar. 1091 01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:56,215 Now, let me get you out of these cuffs and chains, 1092 01:08:56,216 --> 01:08:57,883 and everything, I'll get you all married up, 1093 01:08:57,884 --> 01:09:00,011 and we'll welcome you to this family 1094 01:09:00,012 --> 01:09:01,887 with an all-night reel. 1095 01:09:03,890 --> 01:09:06,100 - No cuffs? - No cuffs. 1096 01:09:09,271 --> 01:09:10,313 Pud collar. 1097 01:09:11,690 --> 01:09:15,401 Well, I must say, it sounds awfully tempting. 1098 01:09:17,779 --> 01:09:19,155 - Hit it! - Yo. 1099 01:09:19,156 --> 01:09:20,781 Drop it, J. 1100 01:09:20,782 --> 01:09:22,158 That's it. Begin. 1101 01:09:24,620 --> 01:09:25,411 Yo. 1102 01:09:26,622 --> 01:09:28,497 What it be? What it be? 1103 01:09:37,215 --> 01:09:40,468 In her own way, she's kind of special, isn't she? 1104 01:09:40,469 --> 01:09:42,637 You'll never have car trouble. 1105 01:09:55,776 --> 01:09:59,070 Okay. 1106 01:09:59,071 --> 01:10:01,280 The district and commonwealth, 1107 01:10:01,281 --> 01:10:03,741 hereby duly recognizing the will and wish 1108 01:10:03,742 --> 01:10:04,742 of a man and woman, 1109 01:10:04,743 --> 01:10:08,120 to enter the holy and life-binding state of matrimony, 1110 01:10:09,498 --> 01:10:14,251 herewith confirm that you, Eldona Marjorie Valkenheiser, 1111 01:10:14,252 --> 01:10:18,547 do take to husband, one Christopher Lawrence Thorne. 1112 01:10:25,639 --> 01:10:28,683 And you, Christopher Lawrence Thorne, 1113 01:10:28,684 --> 01:10:31,268 confirm that you do take to wife 1114 01:10:33,355 --> 01:10:36,065 one Eldona Marjorie Valkenheiser? 1115 01:10:41,613 --> 01:10:44,323 Pardon? 1116 01:10:44,324 --> 01:10:46,242 What? Speak up! 1117 01:10:46,243 --> 01:10:47,284 I do. I do. 1118 01:10:48,745 --> 01:10:50,413 This office so recognizes 1119 01:10:50,414 --> 01:10:51,497 and certifies this union 1120 01:10:51,498 --> 01:10:53,874 and declares that you are now wedded man and wife. 1121 01:10:57,796 --> 01:10:59,880 You may kiss the bride. 1122 01:10:59,881 --> 01:11:00,923 Yeah! 1123 01:11:00,924 --> 01:11:02,258 Well, Judge, they'll be plenty of time 1124 01:11:02,259 --> 01:11:03,259 for that on the honeymoon. 1125 01:11:03,260 --> 01:11:05,010 You may kiss the bride. 1126 01:11:05,011 --> 01:11:07,763 No, not in front of all these people, Your Honor. 1127 01:11:07,764 --> 01:11:08,931 Now! 1128 01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:13,936 Yo, way to go, homeboy! 1129 01:11:13,937 --> 01:11:15,020 All right, so let's get out of here 1130 01:11:15,021 --> 01:11:16,480 before the old man changes his mind, all right? 1131 01:11:16,481 --> 01:11:18,983 - Yeah, okay. - Wait, wait! Help me! 1132 01:11:18,984 --> 01:11:21,026 - We're out of here. - Wait! Help me! 1133 01:11:21,027 --> 01:11:22,194 - These are dangerous people. - Come on, man. 1134 01:11:22,195 --> 01:11:23,028 - It'll be all right. - No! 1135 01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:23,863 - It'll be all right. - No please! 1136 01:11:23,864 --> 01:11:25,364 I was nervous at my wedding too. 1137 01:11:25,365 --> 01:11:27,366 - No! No please! - Never mind him. 1138 01:11:27,367 --> 01:11:29,493 He's just got the wedding night jitters. 1139 01:11:29,494 --> 01:11:30,453 It's okay, just go on out 1140 01:11:30,454 --> 01:11:31,412 - the way you came. - They're maniacs! 1141 01:11:31,413 --> 01:11:34,248 I'll open the gate and flip the bridge for you. 1142 01:11:34,249 --> 01:11:35,583 You be cool, man. 1143 01:11:35,584 --> 01:11:38,043 Hey, well, bye. You weak-livered puffball! 1144 01:11:39,004 --> 01:11:42,715 Damn city-workin', yuppity well wallet! 1145 01:11:42,716 --> 01:11:44,508 Look how you hurt my granddaughter! 1146 01:11:44,509 --> 01:11:46,677 Ah, you ain't family material anyway. 1147 01:11:46,678 --> 01:11:48,262 No, Judge. Come on, Judge. 1148 01:11:48,263 --> 01:11:49,972 No, I tell ya, I wasn't. 1149 01:11:49,973 --> 01:11:51,265 No, judge! Why? 1150 01:11:51,266 --> 01:11:53,768 Ah, Judge, ah! 1151 01:11:53,769 --> 01:11:55,269 Wait! Nelly! 1152 01:11:55,270 --> 01:11:57,146 Come on, Judge! No! 1153 01:11:58,273 --> 01:11:59,815 So long, Charlie! 1154 01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,029 Come on, all right? What the hell is this now? 1155 01:12:05,030 --> 01:12:06,530 Oh, no! Oh, no! 1156 01:12:06,531 --> 01:12:07,782 Oh please, god! 1157 01:12:07,783 --> 01:12:10,034 Guaranteed you're gonna enjoy this ride! 1158 01:12:10,035 --> 01:12:10,993 Oh, god! Oh! 1159 01:12:10,994 --> 01:12:12,119 I'm of the school that believes 1160 01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:14,163 the last 30 seconds of a person's life 1161 01:12:14,164 --> 01:12:15,498 ought to have a little zip in 'em. 1162 01:12:15,499 --> 01:12:19,877 Oh, Judge! Hey, listen, I'm sorry I called! 1163 01:12:27,052 --> 01:12:28,803 Oh please! Oh please, God, no! 1164 01:12:35,018 --> 01:12:36,602 Judge, I'm sorry, please! 1165 01:12:36,603 --> 01:12:38,145 Oh, no, I love Eldona! 1166 01:12:38,146 --> 01:12:39,396 I love your granddaughter! 1167 01:12:39,397 --> 01:12:40,981 She's beautiful! Oh! 1168 01:12:40,982 --> 01:12:42,775 Oh, no! My, hey! 1169 01:12:44,069 --> 01:12:45,611 Please, God, help! 1170 01:12:45,612 --> 01:12:46,487 Please, God, stop! 1171 01:12:50,325 --> 01:12:51,659 Oh, no! Please, God! 1172 01:12:51,660 --> 01:12:52,451 Oh please! 1173 01:12:58,458 --> 01:12:59,291 Oh, God. 1174 01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:00,543 Oh please, dear lord! 1175 01:13:00,544 --> 01:13:01,919 Please. 1176 01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:03,128 Please, God, I. 1177 01:13:05,298 --> 01:13:06,757 Thank you, lord. 1178 01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:16,809 - Oh. - Damn thing blew a belt. 1179 01:13:16,810 --> 01:13:18,227 Tell Eldona to go and fix it. 1180 01:13:18,228 --> 01:13:20,145 Easy on her, Grandpa. She's mighty broke up. 1181 01:13:20,146 --> 01:13:21,730 - Oh yeah. - I'll get him. 1182 01:13:21,731 --> 01:13:23,816 Don't let him get away! 1183 01:13:23,817 --> 01:13:26,944 Bring that girl out to the Gradertine. 1184 01:13:30,073 --> 01:13:32,783 Diane? Diane? 1185 01:13:55,181 --> 01:13:56,807 Come on! Eldona! 1186 01:14:14,743 --> 01:14:16,076 Okay! 1187 01:14:19,956 --> 01:14:20,998 You go on, get out of here! 1188 01:14:20,999 --> 01:14:22,583 Get out of here, you big slushbag! 1189 01:14:22,584 --> 01:14:23,709 Go on back to your hole. 1190 01:14:24,878 --> 01:14:26,420 Excuse my grandkids. 1191 01:14:26,421 --> 01:14:28,756 They're all spoiled pulp rotten! 1192 01:14:28,757 --> 01:14:30,716 - That's right. - Too much too easy too soon. 1193 01:14:30,717 --> 01:14:32,927 Yeah, kids today, I know. 1194 01:14:33,970 --> 01:14:35,304 Thanks. 1195 01:14:35,305 --> 01:14:36,805 Want a mint candy? 1196 01:14:36,806 --> 01:14:38,015 Oh, No, no. 1197 01:14:41,144 --> 01:14:44,355 Missy, I sure do hate to cut and shuffle 1198 01:14:44,356 --> 01:14:45,689 a fine little muffet like you. 1199 01:14:45,690 --> 01:14:47,942 - Oh, yeah, me too. - But I will, 1200 01:14:47,943 --> 01:14:50,277 if Joe Polo don't show! 1201 01:14:50,278 --> 01:14:52,655 - Now, he hurt my family. - Ah, okay. 1202 01:14:52,656 --> 01:14:56,784 Now, child, you'll walk free, scot-free, right outta here. 1203 01:14:56,785 --> 01:14:59,078 You just get on the two-way now 1204 01:14:59,079 --> 01:15:01,288 and tell Mr. High-class to come on in. 1205 01:15:01,289 --> 01:15:02,206 Okay, I'll talk to him. 1206 01:15:02,207 --> 01:15:04,083 - I'll talk to him right now. - Okay. All right. 1207 01:15:05,919 --> 01:15:07,670 You okay, Judge? 1208 01:15:07,671 --> 01:15:09,296 See? 1209 01:15:09,297 --> 01:15:10,839 Wow. 1210 01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:12,174 You see that? 1211 01:15:12,175 --> 01:15:13,717 Now somebody's gotta pay 1212 01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:16,845 for the way they sapped this ground. 1213 01:15:16,846 --> 01:15:20,265 - You want your pills? - Ah, I'm all right. 1214 01:15:20,266 --> 01:15:21,308 Hey, hotworm! 1215 01:15:22,185 --> 01:15:23,227 Listen! 1216 01:15:23,228 --> 01:15:25,270 We got your pretty little girlfriend down here, 1217 01:15:25,271 --> 01:15:28,148 ready to go on the Gradertine for a quartering. 1218 01:15:28,149 --> 01:15:32,194 But, because she's a bright-eyed, smart-lookin' type, 1219 01:15:32,195 --> 01:15:34,196 I'm willing to make a trade. 1220 01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:38,158 You lie down in her place, she goes free. 1221 01:15:38,159 --> 01:15:40,577 We'll all be happy, including you. 1222 01:15:40,578 --> 01:15:41,662 Here, here, you tell 'em. 1223 01:15:41,663 --> 01:15:43,497 Where the hell's that dog-food-eatin' 1224 01:15:43,498 --> 01:15:44,748 grandson of mine, anyway? 1225 01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:46,792 Dennis! Here, you talk. 1226 01:15:46,793 --> 01:15:48,210 What's going on with him, anyway? 1227 01:15:48,211 --> 01:15:49,878 What, is somebody not giving him his napalm? 1228 01:15:49,879 --> 01:15:52,881 - Is he all over. - Chris? 1229 01:15:52,882 --> 01:15:54,425 Hi. It's Diane. 1230 01:15:55,844 --> 01:15:56,677 Listen. 1231 01:15:57,679 --> 01:15:59,888 Run! Run for your life! 1232 01:15:59,889 --> 01:16:01,807 Save yourself! Tell the world about this place! 1233 01:16:01,808 --> 01:16:05,269 Just touch. 1234 01:16:05,270 --> 01:16:06,437 Oh, boy. 1235 01:16:06,438 --> 01:16:11,275 You really put the pin in the party hog now, girl. 1236 01:16:11,276 --> 01:16:13,027 You got five minutes to come on in, 1237 01:16:13,028 --> 01:16:14,653 or she gets cut and shuffled. 1238 01:16:14,654 --> 01:16:17,865 Fine, now, no gallantry and no suicide stunts. 1239 01:16:17,866 --> 01:16:19,408 You just come on in. 1240 01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:22,161 Come on, now. Be a real man. 1241 01:16:22,162 --> 01:16:23,871 Surprise yourself. 1242 01:16:25,957 --> 01:16:27,166 Save the woman. 1243 01:16:27,167 --> 01:16:28,959 Give yourself up for the girl. 1244 01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:32,880 She'll cry over you for weeks. 1245 01:16:32,881 --> 01:16:34,048 What's the matter, boy? 1246 01:16:34,049 --> 01:16:37,926 Ain't she worth it? 1247 01:16:39,220 --> 01:16:41,555 All right, you old liver spot. 1248 01:16:44,809 --> 01:16:46,810 Sorry about this, Diane. 1249 01:16:46,811 --> 01:16:51,190 But we have to tie you down, like Grandpa Alvin says. 1250 01:16:51,191 --> 01:16:53,525 I wish it was him we were tying down 1251 01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:54,860 - instead of you. - Yeah. 1252 01:16:54,861 --> 01:16:57,863 We don't like him, but we love you. 1253 01:16:57,864 --> 01:17:00,532 This is a classic case of a dysfunctional family. 1254 01:17:00,533 --> 01:17:02,993 I mean, you should consider some help, some therapy. 1255 01:17:02,994 --> 01:17:04,703 He won't go! 1256 01:17:04,704 --> 01:17:08,207 Okay, cowboy. Last chance saloon. 1257 01:17:08,208 --> 01:17:10,584 I'm gonna count down from 10. 1258 01:17:10,585 --> 01:17:13,587 If I don't hear your voice by the time I get to one, 1259 01:17:13,588 --> 01:17:15,339 I'm gonna cut her! 1260 01:17:15,340 --> 01:17:17,925 - Oh, don't! Oh! No! - Eldona, get them blades up. 1261 01:17:19,260 --> 01:17:21,011 Eldona, hey, listen. 1262 01:17:21,012 --> 01:17:22,554 You wanna, why don't we go to New York? 1263 01:17:22,555 --> 01:17:23,847 I'll take you to Elizabeth Arden. 1264 01:17:23,848 --> 01:17:25,057 - We could do a lot. - 10! 1265 01:17:25,058 --> 01:17:26,642 Guys! Get me outta here! 1266 01:17:26,643 --> 01:17:28,519 Nine. 1267 01:17:28,520 --> 01:17:30,187 Come on, now, banker! 1268 01:17:30,188 --> 01:17:31,230 Eight. 1269 01:17:31,231 --> 01:17:32,898 What's wrong with this little girl here? 1270 01:17:32,899 --> 01:17:34,858 She a bad kisser or something? 1271 01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:36,318 Seven. 1272 01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:37,236 Chris, I really didn't mean 1273 01:17:37,237 --> 01:17:38,570 for you to save yourself! 1274 01:17:38,571 --> 01:17:40,948 Get your ass back down here and save me! 1275 01:17:40,949 --> 01:17:42,241 Six. 1276 01:17:42,242 --> 01:17:43,242 Chris, get down here! 1277 01:17:43,243 --> 01:17:45,619 You ain't giving me much choice, boy. 1278 01:17:45,620 --> 01:17:48,205 - Five. All right, now, boy! - Please, Chris! 1279 01:17:48,206 --> 01:17:50,624 Last chance saloon! 1280 01:17:50,625 --> 01:17:52,000 Four. 1281 01:17:52,001 --> 01:17:53,001 - Don't! - Three. 1282 01:17:53,002 --> 01:17:55,379 Two. 1283 01:17:55,380 --> 01:17:56,839 One. 1284 01:18:04,973 --> 01:18:06,557 Diane! 1285 01:18:06,558 --> 01:18:07,724 - Help me! - It's me. 1286 01:18:07,725 --> 01:18:09,351 Oh, God. Hurry, get my hands. 1287 01:18:09,352 --> 01:18:10,185 - Hurry! - Let's get outta here. 1288 01:18:10,186 --> 01:18:11,019 - Hold on. - Oh, my god! 1289 01:18:11,020 --> 01:18:12,813 - It'll be all right. - Get my hands! 1290 01:18:12,814 --> 01:18:14,523 What the hell took you so long? 1291 01:18:14,524 --> 01:18:16,191 Okay, oh, get me out. 1292 01:18:16,192 --> 01:18:17,776 Oh, I knew you'd save me. 1293 01:18:17,777 --> 01:18:21,321 I think I dirtied my diaper. 1294 01:18:21,322 --> 01:18:23,323 Oh, get me the hell out of here, Chris! 1295 01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:24,741 He's fly-dickin' with me! 1296 01:18:24,742 --> 01:18:26,243 Eldona, drop those blades! 1297 01:18:26,244 --> 01:18:28,620 Get him! Get him! 1298 01:18:28,621 --> 01:18:29,413 Shit! 1299 01:18:35,920 --> 01:18:37,337 Hey! 1300 01:18:37,338 --> 01:18:39,047 Get 'em! Get 'em! 1301 01:18:39,048 --> 01:18:40,757 Get 'em! 1302 01:18:40,758 --> 01:18:42,050 Who are the infant bodies? 1303 01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:43,218 Bobo and L'il Debbull. 1304 01:18:43,219 --> 01:18:44,261 They're not allowed in the house. 1305 01:18:44,262 --> 01:18:46,138 Hit that spotlight, 1306 01:18:46,139 --> 01:18:47,890 - okay? - Okay. 1307 01:18:47,891 --> 01:18:49,641 So what do you play when you go to Atlantic City? 1308 01:18:49,642 --> 01:18:51,018 Blackjack? Craps? 1309 01:18:51,978 --> 01:18:54,688 Got to find them! 1310 01:19:03,406 --> 01:19:05,407 I don't think they saw us. 1311 01:19:05,408 --> 01:19:06,617 - Come on. - Okay. 1312 01:19:08,912 --> 01:19:11,330 Excuse me. Coming through. 1313 01:19:11,331 --> 01:19:13,707 Sorry. 1314 01:19:13,708 --> 01:19:14,499 Excuse me. 1315 01:19:24,385 --> 01:19:26,511 We'll never get across this. 1316 01:19:26,512 --> 01:19:29,348 Oh, no. Let's head towards the train. 1317 01:19:29,349 --> 01:19:30,432 Come on, through the woods. 1318 01:19:30,433 --> 01:19:32,100 Smells like Sao Paulo. 1319 01:19:32,101 --> 01:19:34,394 Who's that man that was with her? 1320 01:19:34,395 --> 01:19:35,229 I don't know. 1321 01:19:35,230 --> 01:19:38,690 I don't know, neither, but she got away. 1322 01:19:38,691 --> 01:19:40,400 You're the one that was supposed to be watching her. 1323 01:19:40,401 --> 01:19:44,947 Diane is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. 1324 01:19:44,948 --> 01:19:46,114 I feel stupid. 1325 01:19:46,115 --> 01:19:48,617 Bobo, shut up and drive! 1326 01:19:48,618 --> 01:19:50,452 There they are! 1327 01:19:50,453 --> 01:19:51,662 On the hill! 1328 01:19:51,663 --> 01:19:55,123 Get 'em before they get to the top! 1329 01:19:55,124 --> 01:19:56,041 Stop them! 1330 01:19:59,671 --> 01:20:00,462 Okay. 1331 01:20:01,339 --> 01:20:02,172 - Hey! - Hey! 1332 01:20:02,173 --> 01:20:04,049 - Hey! - Hold on! 1333 01:20:04,050 --> 01:20:05,717 Stop! Hey, stop! Stop! 1334 01:20:05,718 --> 01:20:08,929 Hey! 1335 01:20:12,642 --> 01:20:13,433 Now! 1336 01:20:17,188 --> 01:20:17,980 Come on! 1337 01:20:19,107 --> 01:20:20,983 - I'm with you. - Right! 1338 01:20:24,404 --> 01:20:25,529 Come on, reach! 1339 01:20:25,530 --> 01:20:27,739 You can do it! Come on! 1340 01:20:27,740 --> 01:20:28,657 I can't make it. 1341 01:20:28,658 --> 01:20:29,491 Trust me. 1342 01:20:29,492 --> 01:20:31,910 Come on, reach out! 1343 01:20:31,911 --> 01:20:33,620 Come on. That's it! 1344 01:20:45,425 --> 01:20:46,550 Damn it! That's it! 1345 01:20:46,551 --> 01:20:47,759 How did I miss that one? 1346 01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,469 We gotta get some help. 1347 01:20:49,470 --> 01:20:50,304 As soon as the train stops, 1348 01:20:50,305 --> 01:20:53,473 we'll get off and call the police. 1349 01:20:53,474 --> 01:20:56,101 You saved my life. Thanks. 1350 01:20:56,102 --> 01:20:57,060 It was worth it. 1351 01:21:06,654 --> 01:21:08,447 - Bye, Diane! - Diane. 1352 01:21:09,574 --> 01:21:11,491 - Bye-bye! - Bye, Diane. 1353 01:21:27,300 --> 01:21:28,633 Then we had that spinning bed, 1354 01:21:28,634 --> 01:21:31,094 the door flew up, and we came, got up into that, attic. 1355 01:21:31,095 --> 01:21:31,928 Up in the attic. 1356 01:21:31,929 --> 01:21:35,140 With the newspapers and the, all those licenses, and then. 1357 01:21:35,141 --> 01:21:37,100 Yeah, that's pretty much where we found all the licenses. 1358 01:21:37,101 --> 01:21:37,934 And then, and the newspaper clippings. 1359 01:21:37,935 --> 01:21:38,769 We kind of sat down, which matched each other. 1360 01:21:38,770 --> 01:21:39,603 And had a cigar. 1361 01:21:39,604 --> 01:21:40,437 We were smoking a, relaxing, and. 1362 01:21:40,438 --> 01:21:41,229 Yeah, there was no way to know, I mean. 1363 01:21:41,230 --> 01:21:42,064 All of the. 1364 01:21:42,065 --> 01:21:42,898 It said Hoffa was still missing. 1365 01:21:42,899 --> 01:21:43,732 What was that? 1366 01:21:43,733 --> 01:21:44,566 As far as we knew, he was still there. 1367 01:21:44,567 --> 01:21:45,400 An escape hatch, or whatever? 1368 01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:46,318 Oh, we ended up in a tunnel. 1369 01:21:46,319 --> 01:21:48,111 Anyway, this door opened, and we went flying. 1370 01:21:48,112 --> 01:21:49,363 Bobo and L'il Debbull saved me. 1371 01:21:49,364 --> 01:21:50,197 Luckily, I was able to hear it. 1372 01:21:50,198 --> 01:21:51,031 And we climbed the cliff, 1373 01:21:51,032 --> 01:21:51,865 till we got on the train, 1374 01:21:51,866 --> 01:21:53,658 right after the fuel dump explosion. 1375 01:21:53,659 --> 01:21:55,577 We think maybe the Brazillionaires have been killed. 1376 01:21:55,578 --> 01:21:56,536 That's dead. 1377 01:21:59,082 --> 01:22:01,875 You folks, of course, will have to come with us 1378 01:22:01,876 --> 01:22:03,627 for identification purposes. 1379 01:22:03,628 --> 01:22:05,087 Wait a minute. 1380 01:22:05,088 --> 01:22:06,588 This man removed his nose and upper teeth, 1381 01:22:06,589 --> 01:22:07,714 three inches in front of my face, 1382 01:22:07,715 --> 01:22:09,758 and started crooning like Bing Crosby. 1383 01:22:09,759 --> 01:22:10,550 I'd like to help out, 1384 01:22:10,551 --> 01:22:12,344 but I'm pretty sure I can pick him out in a lineup, 1385 01:22:12,345 --> 01:22:14,054 you know what I mean? 1386 01:22:15,348 --> 01:22:16,723 We could do it. 1387 01:22:17,934 --> 01:22:18,809 We? 1388 01:22:42,041 --> 01:22:44,209 This is the state attorney general. 1389 01:22:44,210 --> 01:22:47,754 We have a warrant to search these premises. 1390 01:22:48,798 --> 01:22:50,340 Why don't you just blast your way in? 1391 01:22:50,341 --> 01:22:52,300 First, we have to serve the warrant to someone. 1392 01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:54,553 You know, I bet we could get them to come out. 1393 01:22:54,554 --> 01:22:55,387 Us? 1394 01:22:55,388 --> 01:23:00,016 You know, Miss Lightson doesn't have a bad idea there. 1395 01:23:00,935 --> 01:23:03,728 Well, I suppose it's worth a try, 1396 01:23:05,398 --> 01:23:08,066 if you two are up to it. 1397 01:23:08,067 --> 01:23:09,734 It'd be our pleasure. 1398 01:23:09,735 --> 01:23:11,611 Wait a minute. Wait. 1399 01:23:17,326 --> 01:23:19,703 Can't wait to see his face when he gets a load of this. 1400 01:23:30,047 --> 01:23:30,839 Okay. 1401 01:23:43,519 --> 01:23:45,020 Yes? 1402 01:23:45,021 --> 01:23:47,063 Well, what's going on here? 1403 01:23:47,064 --> 01:23:48,190 Who are you? 1404 01:23:48,191 --> 01:23:50,650 Why are you bothering an old man? 1405 01:23:50,651 --> 01:23:52,903 You're through, Judge. 1406 01:23:52,904 --> 01:23:56,114 Oh, you kids better look out behind you. 1407 01:23:56,115 --> 01:23:57,824 There's a bee's nest. 1408 01:24:00,203 --> 01:24:02,287 Hi, Judge Alvin! 1409 01:24:02,288 --> 01:24:04,164 Evening, troopers! 1410 01:24:04,165 --> 01:24:05,916 Can't go too far in this part of the world, 1411 01:24:05,917 --> 01:24:07,751 without running across my friends. 1412 01:24:13,299 --> 01:24:15,509 Alvin is something, isn't he? 1413 01:24:15,510 --> 01:24:16,718 And of course we can't admit 1414 01:24:16,719 --> 01:24:20,472 that we appreciate the way he gets things done. 1415 01:24:20,473 --> 01:24:21,806 And since you know what you know, 1416 01:24:21,807 --> 01:24:25,435 I'm afraid we're gonna have to come to some kind of a- 1417 01:24:33,986 --> 01:24:35,820 It's the coal fire! 1418 01:24:35,821 --> 01:24:37,614 The seams are giving way! 1419 01:24:37,615 --> 01:24:39,157 Run for your lives! 1420 01:24:53,297 --> 01:24:54,506 Come on, grab me! Grab me! 1421 01:24:54,507 --> 01:24:57,133 I'm not gonna lose you now! Come on! 1422 01:24:57,134 --> 01:24:57,926 Gotcha. 1423 01:25:02,390 --> 01:25:04,599 Hey, what's all that shaking? 1424 01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:05,725 I don't know. 1425 01:25:05,726 --> 01:25:07,394 I didn't do anything. 1426 01:25:12,400 --> 01:25:13,483 - You all right? - Yeah. 1427 01:25:13,484 --> 01:25:14,442 My Beemer! Get in! 1428 01:25:14,443 --> 01:25:15,402 No. Come on, it won't start. 1429 01:25:15,403 --> 01:25:16,695 It's got a fuel cut-off switch. 1430 01:25:16,696 --> 01:25:18,613 It's part of the alarm system. 1431 01:25:20,157 --> 01:25:21,283 No seat belts. 1432 01:25:21,284 --> 01:25:22,826 No roof. 1433 01:25:36,090 --> 01:25:36,881 Oh, my! 1434 01:25:55,318 --> 01:25:56,860 Ai Fausto. 1435 01:25:56,861 --> 01:26:00,238 That was the most adventurous weekend of my entire life. 1436 01:26:00,239 --> 01:26:03,783 When I think about what happened in Valkenvania, 1437 01:26:03,784 --> 01:26:05,785 I would do it again. 1438 01:26:05,786 --> 01:26:06,578 Not me. 1439 01:26:07,455 --> 01:26:10,081 I was like James Bond. 1440 01:26:10,082 --> 01:26:12,042 Don't worry, Dennis. 1441 01:26:12,043 --> 01:26:14,794 Now that you are head of our personal security- 1442 01:26:14,795 --> 01:26:16,755 And my lover. 1443 01:26:16,756 --> 01:26:19,549 Dude, your life's gonna be fantastic. 1444 01:26:19,550 --> 01:26:20,800 And don't you worry. 1445 01:26:20,801 --> 01:26:24,304 No one's gonna touch you or my little Flora de la Luna. 1446 01:26:24,305 --> 01:26:25,930 Ooh. 1447 01:26:25,931 --> 01:26:28,183 Dennis, listen to me. 1448 01:27:04,095 --> 01:27:05,762 Hey, Chris? 1449 01:27:05,763 --> 01:27:07,931 Chris, hey, hey, hey! 1450 01:27:07,932 --> 01:27:08,807 It's okay. It's okay. 1451 01:27:08,808 --> 01:27:10,934 Take it easy. I think you're just having a little napmare. 1452 01:27:10,935 --> 01:27:11,726 Oh. Oh. 1453 01:27:13,354 --> 01:27:14,646 It's over? 1454 01:27:14,647 --> 01:27:15,730 Oh, yeah, it's over. 1455 01:27:15,731 --> 01:27:17,232 You're okay, we're safe. 1456 01:27:17,233 --> 01:27:19,359 - Oh, god. - Take it easy. 1457 01:27:20,903 --> 01:27:22,487 Oh, jeez, what a weekend. 1458 01:27:22,488 --> 01:27:24,197 Yeah, no kidding. 1459 01:27:24,198 --> 01:27:25,824 But it's okay. 1460 01:27:25,825 --> 01:27:27,033 I'm gonna go take a shower. 1461 01:27:27,034 --> 01:27:28,159 - Okay. - Okay. 1462 01:27:29,704 --> 01:27:30,829 - Just rest. - I'll rest. 1463 01:27:30,830 --> 01:27:31,621 Okay. 1464 01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:36,751 I'm gonna watch a little TV. 1465 01:27:36,752 --> 01:27:38,503 Numerous fire companies from New York, 1466 01:27:38,504 --> 01:27:41,840 New Jersey, Ohio, and all neighboring states 1467 01:27:41,841 --> 01:27:45,051 are barely able to handle the subterranean mine fire 1468 01:27:45,052 --> 01:27:46,970 near the town of Valkenvania. 1469 01:27:46,971 --> 01:27:48,096 Diane, you should see this. 1470 01:27:48,097 --> 01:27:50,140 Our Susan Campost is on the scene. 1471 01:27:50,141 --> 01:27:52,475 Roger, this cloud may have a silver lining. 1472 01:27:52,476 --> 01:27:55,311 Geologists say the brief, but intense heat from fissures 1473 01:27:55,312 --> 01:27:58,398 10 miles below have cooked the upper coal tailings 1474 01:27:58,399 --> 01:28:03,361 into a fine, medium-grade crude, over 50 million barrels. 1475 01:28:03,779 --> 01:28:06,406 Wait, just, just one second, Roger. 1476 01:28:06,407 --> 01:28:07,949 I see one of the village residents 1477 01:28:07,950 --> 01:28:09,617 rummaging through the remains. 1478 01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:11,035 Excuse me, sir, how do you feel 1479 01:28:11,036 --> 01:28:12,871 now that you have lost everything? 1480 01:28:12,872 --> 01:28:14,664 At least we all got out alive. 1481 01:28:14,665 --> 01:28:16,875 Of course, there's nothing left for us here now, 1482 01:28:16,876 --> 01:28:19,794 so we're all planning to move in with my grandson-in-law. 1483 01:28:19,795 --> 01:28:21,045 - Oh, no! - He lives in New York City. 1484 01:28:21,046 --> 01:28:22,213 Oh, come on, what? 1485 01:28:22,214 --> 01:28:23,006 No! 1486 01:28:24,175 --> 01:28:26,092 See you soon, banker! 1487 01:28:26,093 --> 01:28:27,385 No, what? 1488 01:28:31,474 --> 01:28:32,682 No, you won't.