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Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET

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When people told themselves
their past with stories...

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explained their present with stories...

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foretold the future with stories...

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the best place by the fire was kept for...

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The Storyteller.

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- Hans My Hedgehog -
Sync and corrections by R3V0LV3R.

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Story...

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imagine a cold night and a dark night...

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a night like this one.

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And imagine a bed
with a farmer and his wife fast asleep...

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snuggling up for warmth.

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And in this bed, the farmer, shivering,
reaches out for his wife.

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But instead of a head, he finds a foot...

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because his missus is rubbing noses
with their dog...

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who sleeps every night
at the end of the bed.

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What kind of dog?

18
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I don't know. A dog, some kind of dog.

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Some kind of dog? Terrific story.

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Should I bark?

21
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Oh, no!

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- Just for tonight.
- Don't be dense, woman.

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One night won't hurt. It might work.

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Sleeping upside down?
What good's that gonna do?

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- Midwife said it sometimes helps.
- You're not gonna get a child.

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If you want company,
get a widow woman up from the village.

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Now come up this end. I'm proper frozen.

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But the farmer's wife
didn't want no widow for company...

29
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she wanted a baby.

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And she'd wanted this child
for what seemed a lifetime...

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until she couldn't bear
to watch the lambs born...

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or the calves come, or the eggs hatch.

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It hurt her so.

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And she drove the farmer mad
with her cranky books...

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and her cranky charms and remedies.

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This stings!

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That's good.

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- That's good?
- I'm making you a nice tonic and all.

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To be drunk night and morning.
I want a child.

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I wouldn't care if it were a strange thing
made of marzipan or porridge...

41
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if it were ugly as a hedgehog.

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I want a baby to wrap in a bundle...

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and sing to and snoodle with
and hug to bits.

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Now, to say you wouldn't care
when you want something...

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is a dangerous thing.

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That woman wanted a baby so bad
she couldn't care what she got.

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If she got a hedgehog,
she'd bring its snout to her breast.

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Ears twitch that shouldn't be listening.

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And no sooner said than done,
she got her wish, the farmer's wife.

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She's all swollen stomach,
and thinks it's the baths he took...

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or the sleeping upside down.

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But in fact, of course...

53
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it's the saying
you wouldn't care what you got...

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what gets you jiggered.

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As everyone knows
what heard a proper story.

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She has her boy,
and straightaway there he is...

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little ball, as ugly as sin...

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with a pointed nose
and sprouting hair everywhere.

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Hedgehogs do not have hair...

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they have quills.

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But this hedgehog baby
had quills as soft as feathers.

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And his mother held him to her breast...

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and wrapped him in a bundle
and snoodled him...

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and hugged him to bits.

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And she gave him the name Hans.

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"Hans my hedgehog," she called him.

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Yes, the mother loved her baby all right.

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But not everybody did.

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- It's a hedgehog.
- What is this?

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We're a laughingstock.

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- We're going home.
- What about our chores?

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That's the end of parading ourselves
in public.

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Don't cry, my sweet.

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He don't even cry like a proper baby.

75
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Can't you shut that squealing?

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And the farmer grew to hate his son,
Hans, the hedgehog boy.

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Out in the field, he chopped and scythed
and bundled and milked.

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But all the while,
the shame of what had befallen him...

79
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turned a knot in his heart.

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One moment the rage welling up in him,
the next, tears.

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Huge tears splashing his boots.

82
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And time passed by.
Day following day, week chasing week.

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And the hedgehog boy grew up.

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- Beastie!
- Critterchops!

85
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- Prickleback!
- Hoghead!

86
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Grovelhog!

87
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And Hans my hedgehog
learnt he was strange...

88
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and he learnt he was ugly,
and he learnt to be sad...

89
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and he learnt the name that was given him.

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Grovelhog!

91
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That's enough! Out!

92
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Out!

93
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Husband!

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From now on,
you'll eat out there with the other beasts!

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Hans!

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Come home!

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Hans heard them, but he wouldn't answer.

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He lay there all night,
his rooster for company...

99
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and thought and thought,
until he thought a hole in the ground.

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And his mother couldn't sleep
and his father wandered the dark hours...

101
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a great needle in his heart.

102
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In the morning, weary, the farmer returned.

103
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By the step, asleep, was his son,
the grovelhog.

104
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I've trudged all night for you.
You'll not eat for a week of my food.

105
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Father, I want you to
do some things for me.

106
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You what?

107
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I want you to go to the village
and have me a saddle made for my rooster...

108
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so I can ride him.

109
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And I want some of your sheep
and some hens and some pigs.

110
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Do you now? Fancy fine.

111
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I know which ones I'd like.
And they would be happy to come with me.

112
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Come with you? Come with you where?

113
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Where I go, which is away.

114
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Which is to somewhere
where I can't hurt anyone...

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and no one can hurt me.

116
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And when are you
planning this gad to away and somewhere?

117
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When I have the saddle.

118
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Thou can't go nowhere.

119
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What would your mother say?
Her who dotes on you?

120
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Father, all night I lay outdoor
to understand why you don't love me.

121
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And I've thought
until I've thought a hole in the grass.

122
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And now it's all right.
When I have the saddle, I'll go.

123
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And the farmer felt ashamed.

124
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And he brought home a saddle
for the rooster...

125
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and he herded up the animals
his son had asked for...

126
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and he told his wife,
"Pack a packed lunch..."

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and all the while
the grovelhog sat on the stoop and waited.

128
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When all was done,
he went to his mother and she kissed him...

129
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and then to his dad and hugged him.

130
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And the farmer knew for the first time
how soft he was.

131
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They watched him until he was a
faint smudge in the distance.

132
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And his mother felt a crack in her
heart like a tiny pencil line.

133
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And each day after,
the pencil line got thicker and thicker.

134
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And one day, not long after...

135
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her heart split in half...

136
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and she died.

137
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Twenty years later,
a king got lost in a great forest.

138
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And after he got lost, he got more lost...

139
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until he was so lost,
he began to tug his ear...

140
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which is a sure sign of big trouble...

141
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when he heard a sound...

142
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which was a bitter sound and a sweet sound
all at once.

143
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Which began like hello
and ended like goodbye.

144
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And tugging his ear like billy-o...

145
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he followed the sound
until he came to a clearing.

146
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And the palace the king saw before him...

147
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was the most extraordinary palace
in your whole born.

148
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I am very lost...

149
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and I'm very hungry.

150
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And somewhere, back there...

151
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a long time ago, I was a king.

152
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But now, so lost and so hungry...

153
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you would knock at a beast's house?

154
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Well...

155
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You are welcome in my house, sir,
and at my table.

156
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And the king sat at the
grovelhog's table...

157
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and ate of the greenest greens
and the sweetest sweets...

158
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and the juiciest juices.

159
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How very, very kind.

160
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And after, his host took up the bagpipes...

161
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and played old songs,
which were bitter and sweet all at once...

162
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and began like hello
and ended like goodbye.

163
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And before he could think,
"I'm full now and found..."

164
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the king was asleep.

165
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This king woke up the next morning...

166
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after a night of the kind of dreams
you only dream about.

167
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And he opened his eyes
and almost yanked off his ear...

168
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because he found himself under a tree...

169
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which certainly wasn't
where he'd fallen asleep...

170
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and more confusing...

171
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it was a tree from which he could see
the edge of his kingdom.

172
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And he began to dance...

173
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as only kings once lost
and then found can dance.

174
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A jig, a jiggle-joggle and a leap...

175
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I've heard this story
and you're telling it all wrong.

176
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What happens is...

177
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the king wants to give
the grovelhog a reward...

178
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for all his help, and so he says:

179
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"Name anything."

180
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And the hogthing says:

181
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"Give me the first thing to greet you
when you arrive in your kingdom."

182
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And the king agrees...

183
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because he knows
the first thing to greet him...

184
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will be his faithful, flop-eared Wagger...

185
00:10:51,039 --> 00:10:52,470
the royal dog.

186
00:10:52,917 --> 00:10:55,905
So the king says yes.
And the hogthing says:

187
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"I'll collect my reward
in a year and a day."

188
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And off he goes on his ridiculous rooster.

189
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But...

190
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things don't go as he planned, do they?

191
00:11:07,499 --> 00:11:10,931
And it's not Wagger who gets there first.

192
00:11:18,006 --> 00:11:19,801
And the king lets go of the princess...

193
00:11:19,884 --> 00:11:23,077
of sweetness and cherry pie
and his face clouds over.

194
00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:27,468
But then he shrugs
and turns back to his daughter and dog...

195
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:30,906
and walks away for a year and a day.

196
00:11:36,982 --> 00:11:40,254
Here we are, dearios, in
the king's great hall.

197
00:11:40,738 --> 00:11:43,329
And lo and behold, a
handsome storyteller...

198
00:11:43,415 --> 00:11:46,846
has been summoned to court
to entertain the royal family.

199
00:11:49,607 --> 00:11:50,641
King.

200
00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:54,677
Now, of course, the king here has been
counting the days off his calendar...

201
00:11:54,761 --> 00:11:56,397
and it is a year ago today, you see...

202
00:11:56,478 --> 00:11:59,194
since he made his rash promise
to the grovelhog.

203
00:12:00,274 --> 00:12:02,148
And tomorrow, you'll
remember, is the day...

204
00:12:02,231 --> 00:12:05,663
when the grovelhog
is due to arrive to collect his reward.

205
00:12:08,264 --> 00:12:10,139
Princess.

206
00:12:13,897 --> 00:12:15,692
I'm very good at this.

207
00:12:20,329 --> 00:12:23,795
Get rid of him! Fool! Idiot!
Throw him in the dungeon!

208
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:29,228
Feed him inch by inch to my royal sharks!
And what they won't eat, give to his dog!

209
00:12:29,997 --> 00:12:32,462
No, help! Put me down!

210
00:12:35,351 --> 00:12:37,907
Your Majesty,
a huge army appears at the gates!

211
00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,619
- Does it?
- Not men, but animals, sire.

212
00:12:41,423 --> 00:12:42,411
Told you.

213
00:12:42,502 --> 00:12:45,729
I heard you! Let them in.

214
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:51,486
Get off! Give a fellow some space!
I want to hear this.

215
00:12:54,047 --> 00:12:56,683
- Do you remember me?
- I do.

216
00:12:56,764 --> 00:12:59,559
A year and a day have passed
since last we met.

217
00:12:59,641 --> 00:13:01,868
Will you keep your promise to me?

218
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,064
I will!

219
00:13:04,674 --> 00:13:05,867
He will?

220
00:13:12,545 --> 00:13:14,339
Do you know of me, lady?

221
00:13:14,422 --> 00:13:15,695
I do, sir.

222
00:13:16,739 --> 00:13:19,170
You saved my father
and he owes you his life.

223
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,361
Do you know of his promise to me?

224
00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:27,995
He promised you the first thing
to greet him on his return.

225
00:13:28,565 --> 00:13:30,155
And what was that?

226
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:33,867
Me, sir.

227
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,510
I am yours.

228
00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:43,981
Then I want you to be my wife
and come live with me in the forest.

229
00:13:44,385 --> 00:13:47,817
I want you to be my princess
of sweetness and cherry pie.

230
00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:50,492
I want to catch you up and sing to you.

231
00:13:52,535 --> 00:13:54,330
I want you to love me.

232
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:57,044
Yes, sir.

233
00:13:57,409 --> 00:13:59,318
Do you find me very ugly?

234
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,354
No, sir.

235
00:14:01,964 --> 00:14:04,521
Not so ugly as going back on a promise.

236
00:14:08,316 --> 00:14:09,588
Come on, shift yourselves!

237
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:12,060
There's a royal wedding
and you're all to be pardoned...

238
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,616
though I don't know why, I'm sure.
Come on!

239
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,976
And I don't know about wedding.
Up there, it's more like a funeral.

240
00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:20,052
Good. A wedding.

241
00:14:20,141 --> 00:14:23,050
I might even be asked to tell
a story or two. Who knows?

242
00:14:23,138 --> 00:14:26,092
It's on days like these,
that artists come into their own.

243
00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:52,780
We are gathered here today...

244
00:14:57,375 --> 00:15:01,159
The most unhappy wedding party
you ever saw.

245
00:15:02,689 --> 00:15:07,313
And that night, in her bedchamber, it was
a terrified princess who lay waiting...

246
00:15:07,403 --> 00:15:09,914
for her new husband to join her.

247
00:15:55,624 --> 00:15:59,055
And lying there
half sweetness, half cherry pie...

248
00:15:59,139 --> 00:16:02,094
the princess could
hardly credit what she'd seen.

249
00:16:03,055 --> 00:16:05,282
But creeping to the window,
she looked down...

250
00:16:05,372 --> 00:16:08,166
and there, sure enough, a man...

251
00:16:08,608 --> 00:16:11,482
moving among the animals in the quiet rain.

252
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:15,638
And she found herself going
to the abandoned coat of hair and quills...

253
00:16:16,238 --> 00:16:18,033
and touching it...

254
00:16:18,116 --> 00:16:21,661
soft and warm and remarkable.

255
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:27,302
And the first rays of morning
woke her from dreams...

256
00:16:27,385 --> 00:16:29,452
of waterfalls and ice cream.

257
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,007
And there she was in her bed.

258
00:16:33,457 --> 00:16:37,411
And by the embers, the grovelhog,
back again, beast again.

259
00:16:38,571 --> 00:16:41,639
And so, had she dreamed
all this peeling off of skin?

260
00:16:42,206 --> 00:16:44,001
Surely she must have.

261
00:16:44,683 --> 00:16:46,717
But that night, the same scene...

262
00:16:46,801 --> 00:16:50,073
her husband standing over her
as she pretended to sleep.

263
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:53,908
The tender touch on her arm,
not prickly, but so smooth...

264
00:16:53,992 --> 00:16:56,298
she felt an ache when he left her.

265
00:16:57,268 --> 00:17:00,972
And she found herself
going to the skin and lying against it.

266
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,733
And how comfortable she found it.

267
00:17:04,179 --> 00:17:08,292
And she felt drowsy lying there
by the fire, so peaceful.

268
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:11,801
She felt herself drifting off
and knew she mustn't...

269
00:17:12,049 --> 00:17:14,038
but really couldn't help herself.

270
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,793
Sir, I woke and you had gone.

271
00:17:22,117 --> 00:17:24,708
And left behind you your coat of quills.

272
00:17:27,111 --> 00:17:29,338
Which would you have for husband?

273
00:17:29,788 --> 00:17:32,174
The man or the creature?

274
00:17:33,982 --> 00:17:35,732
I have a husband, sir...

275
00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:39,167
and he is what he is. No more and no less.

276
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:43,604
Then forgive him, madam,
if he returns to his skin.

277
00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:46,677
For I'm enchanted and cannot leave it.

278
00:17:47,486 --> 00:17:50,360
But if you say nothing of this
for a third night...

279
00:17:51,601 --> 00:17:54,953
then loyal love will
break the spell forever.

280
00:17:55,196 --> 00:17:56,469
I promise.

281
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,264
But we all know about promises, don't we?

282
00:18:02,507 --> 00:18:03,984
And secrets.

283
00:18:04,065 --> 00:18:06,656
What use are they
when no one knows about them?

284
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:10,816
When they twist and turn
and tickle in our stomachs?

285
00:18:10,897 --> 00:18:14,965
When they're tickly little fish
wriggling into our conversations?

286
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:18,244
Now, you see, the princess had a mother...

287
00:18:18,328 --> 00:18:20,839
and mothers have this way
of catching secret-fish...

288
00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:22,481
and promise-fish.

289
00:18:22,962 --> 00:18:26,791
They eye us with wise eyes
and all our rivers are glass to them.

290
00:18:27,317 --> 00:18:30,066
Just so with the queen,
who that morning at breakfast...

291
00:18:30,153 --> 00:18:32,267
sees a daughter skip to the table...

292
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,944
eat, when for days no appetite.

293
00:18:35,027 --> 00:18:36,015
- Hungry?
- Yes.

294
00:18:36,106 --> 00:18:37,822
Laugh, when for days no laughter.

295
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:40,137
- Sleep well?
- Yes, thank you.

296
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:43,576
Not troubled by the creature?

297
00:18:43,936 --> 00:18:47,208
No, Mother. And please don't
speak of him as a creature.

298
00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:50,406
Listen, Daughter...

299
00:18:50,488 --> 00:18:53,079
last night your father and I
went to a wise woman...

300
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:54,915
and told of your tragedy.

301
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,152
And she knows of these...

302
00:18:57,559 --> 00:19:00,514
creatures, these grovelhogs...

303
00:19:00,596 --> 00:19:02,232
and knows the remedy.

304
00:19:02,713 --> 00:19:04,781
He is enchanted, you see.

305
00:19:05,749 --> 00:19:07,022
I know.

306
00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:12,771
I mean, I knew that he must be.
Something like that.

307
00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:16,529
Yes, I see. He's enchanted.

308
00:19:17,575 --> 00:19:19,131
He's told you, hasn't he?

309
00:19:19,213 --> 00:19:22,246
No, really, he hasn't.
I just knew he must be.

310
00:19:24,766 --> 00:19:27,913
And does he take off his skin?

311
00:19:28,361 --> 00:19:30,270
No. He doesn't.

312
00:19:32,077 --> 00:19:35,826
The only way to break the spell
is to throw the skin into the fire.

313
00:19:35,912 --> 00:19:38,343
Cast the skin into the flames
and he will be free of it.

314
00:19:38,429 --> 00:19:43,099
- That's not the way.
- So, he has told you.

315
00:20:04,517 --> 00:20:06,426
That night, the third...

316
00:20:06,514 --> 00:20:08,787
when everything happens as before...

317
00:20:09,111 --> 00:20:12,224
the princess is haunted
by her mother's advice.

318
00:20:12,787 --> 00:20:15,014
And oh dear, oh dear...

319
00:20:33,761 --> 00:20:36,318
Husband, please! Please don't go...

320
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:42,858
Daughter!

321
00:20:45,586 --> 00:20:47,142
And there she sat...

322
00:20:47,224 --> 00:20:49,338
the princess of sweetness and cherry pie...

323
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:50,694
weeping into the fire.

324
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:53,052
And she would let no one see her,
not even me...

325
00:20:53,137 --> 00:20:54,773
and I was her favourite.

326
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,799
No, she thought and thought,
until she thought a hole in the hearth.

327
00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:01,082
Until she knew what she must do.

328
00:21:02,006 --> 00:21:05,278
She went to the blacksmith
and got from him a pair of iron shoes.

329
00:21:05,362 --> 00:21:08,555
And that night, when all slept,
she slipped out of the palace...

330
00:21:08,638 --> 00:21:12,070
and set off to wander the world
in search of her husband.

331
00:21:14,551 --> 00:21:18,539
She walked and walked
until she wore out the first pair of shoes.

332
00:21:18,626 --> 00:21:21,500
And still no one
had set eyes on the grovelhog.

333
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,287
And she got a second pair of shoes
and began again...

334
00:21:24,379 --> 00:21:26,492
never stopping, always hoping.

335
00:21:27,535 --> 00:21:29,887
And the second pair of shoes wore out.

336
00:21:29,972 --> 00:21:33,005
And still she walked,
always looking, always hoping...

337
00:21:33,088 --> 00:21:35,235
to hear a music both bitter and sweet...

338
00:21:35,325 --> 00:21:38,711
beginning in hello and ending in goodbye,
but nothing.

339
00:21:41,038 --> 00:21:43,629
Till one day, weary and wretched...

340
00:21:43,715 --> 00:21:46,384
she came to a stream and lay down by it.

341
00:21:46,551 --> 00:21:48,619
And saw in the water's mirror...

342
00:21:48,748 --> 00:21:50,976
her hair was now quite white.

343
00:21:51,545 --> 00:21:54,613
And she sorrowed
for her red hair and her husband.

344
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,016
Both lost forever.

345
00:22:11,281 --> 00:22:13,587
To the health
of that most beautiful woman...

346
00:22:13,678 --> 00:22:16,507
who could not keep her promise
for one more day.

347
00:22:18,831 --> 00:22:19,819
Husband?

348
00:22:23,106 --> 00:22:24,776
How did you find me?

349
00:22:25,543 --> 00:22:27,770
I have walked the world to find you...

350
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:30,968
and have worn the soles
of three pairs of iron shoes.

351
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:33,245
My hair is no longer red...

352
00:22:34,452 --> 00:22:36,088
but I come to claim you.

353
00:22:36,330 --> 00:22:39,636
And catch you up
and snoodle you and hug you to bits.

354
00:23:15,921 --> 00:23:18,875
And so the princess
who could not keep her promise...

355
00:23:18,957 --> 00:23:21,866
won back her husband
through looking without hope of finding...

356
00:23:21,954 --> 00:23:24,067
and holding on for dear life.

357
00:23:24,990 --> 00:23:29,694
And in time, her hair grew red again
and there was another wedding all over.

358
00:23:30,104 --> 00:23:32,012
And we were both invited.

359
00:23:32,341 --> 00:23:34,932
And I told the best story there is to tell.

360
00:23:35,018 --> 00:23:38,051
A story which begins in hello
and ends in goodbye.

361
00:23:39,492 --> 00:23:43,400
And for a gift
she gave me a shoe worn to nothing.

362
00:23:43,425 --> 00:23:46,925
And here it is.

363
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,082


