1
00:00:05,219 --> 00:00:07,319
( screams of panic )

2
00:00:11,393 --> 00:00:13,827
OH, ZIPPY WAS JUST
SUPPOSED TO CLEAN THE TANK !

3
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:16,298
I GUESS I SHOULDN'T HAVE
GIVEN HIM THE KEYS.

4
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,034
( chattering )

5
00:00:20,039 --> 00:00:21,839
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
DESTROY THE TANK !

6
00:00:21,941 --> 00:00:23,775
NOT IF I CAN HELP IT.

7
00:00:27,982 --> 00:00:30,717
( babies crying )

8
00:00:36,026 --> 00:00:38,393
OH, NO,
MY SEPTUPLETS !

9
00:00:39,931 --> 00:00:41,264
( grunting )

10
00:00:57,054 --> 00:00:58,120
THANKS, STRIPPERELLA,

11
00:00:58,222 --> 00:00:59,755
THAT WAS ONE
HELL OF A BLOW JOB.

12
00:00:59,858 --> 00:01:01,158
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

13
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,094
I'M GONNA GO
SPANK THE MONKEY.

14
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,929
YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING HE SAID
WAS COMPLETELY RELEVANT

15
00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:08,300
YET, SOMEHOW,
IT JUST FELT INAPPROPRIATE.

16
00:01:27,595 --> 00:01:30,496
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

17
00:01:31,867 --> 00:01:34,835
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

18
00:01:47,254 --> 00:01:51,123
OH, WOW, THESE WAX FIGURES
LOOK SO LIFELIKE.

19
00:01:51,225 --> 00:01:54,027
I WOULD SWEAR THIS
IS REALLY STEVEN SEAGAL.

20
00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:56,964
IT IS ME,
I ACTUALLY WORK HERE.

21
00:01:57,066 --> 00:01:59,435
JUST UNTIL I GET
BACK ON MY FEET.

22
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:04,808
LADIES, GENTLEMEN
AND CHILDREN OF ALL AGES,

23
00:02:04,911 --> 00:02:08,680
FEAST YOUR EYES ON
THE DAZZLING, ENCHANTING WONDER

24
00:02:08,782 --> 00:02:10,382
THAT IS...

25
00:02:10,484 --> 00:02:11,784
MAGIC !

26
00:02:11,886 --> 00:02:14,588
OH, A FREE MAGIC SHOW !

27
00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:16,892
( puppet voice )
NOW, YOU SEE THIS HANDSOME

28
00:02:16,994 --> 00:02:19,694
VIRILE LIKENESS
OF BRAD PITT...

29
00:02:19,797 --> 00:02:21,831
NOW YOU DON'T !

30
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,301
OHHHH... !

31
00:02:26,973 --> 00:02:28,306
FOR OUR NEXT TRICK,

32
00:02:28,408 --> 00:02:31,544
WE NEED YOU ALL TO PLACE YOUR
WALLETS, PURSES AND JEWELRY

33
00:02:31,646 --> 00:02:34,447
IN THE CENTER OF THE ROOM.

34
00:02:34,549 --> 00:02:36,917
( exciting chatter )

35
00:02:40,925 --> 00:02:42,124
( puppet )
NOW YOU STUFF...

36
00:02:42,227 --> 00:02:44,628
NOW YOU DON'T.

37
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:49,901
YOU'VE BEEN
A MARVELOUS AUDIENCE.

38
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:57,145
I THINK WE WERE
JUST ROBBED !

39
00:02:57,247 --> 00:03:01,717
AND THOSE BASTARDS
STOLE JUDY GARLAND !

40
00:03:04,823 --> 00:03:07,425
( man )
LET'S HEAR IT FOR, CAT MEOW.

41
00:03:07,526 --> 00:03:09,628
AND NOW, THE GIRL YOU'VE ALL
BEEN WAITING FOR,

42
00:03:09,730 --> 00:03:11,797
SHE'S THE MOST ATTRACTIVE,

43
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,334
SEXIEST DANCER
HERE AT THE TENDERLOINS--

44
00:03:14,436 --> 00:03:16,370
UGH, I WISH HE WOULDN'T
ALWAYS SAY THAT.

45
00:03:16,472 --> 00:03:18,640
THE FIRST LADY OF FLESH...

46
00:03:18,742 --> 00:03:21,610
EROTICA !

47
00:03:21,713 --> 00:03:23,245
( rock music )

48
00:03:23,347 --> 00:03:25,916
( wolf whistles )

49
00:04:17,286 --> 00:04:19,119
OH, I LOVE YOU GUYS !

50
00:04:19,221 --> 00:04:21,356
GIDDYUP, COWBOY !

51
00:04:25,497 --> 00:04:27,630
CONGRATULATIONS,
ICE HOLES,

52
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:30,167
ON WINNING
THE STANLEY CUP !

53
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:33,705
AND NOW, HANDSOME,
NAKED, RUGGED ATHLETES,

54
00:04:33,808 --> 00:04:36,042
PREPARE YOURSELVES
TO BE AMAZED,

55
00:04:36,144 --> 00:04:38,779
BEWILDERED AND BEDAZZLED !

56
00:04:38,881 --> 00:04:40,480
NOW YOU SEE THE PRICELESS,

57
00:04:40,582 --> 00:04:43,051
ONE-OF-A-KIND
STANLEY CUP TROPHY...

58
00:04:43,153 --> 00:04:45,788
NOW YOU DON'T !

59
00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:52,130
AND NOW,
YOU SEXY JOCKS,

60
00:04:52,232 --> 00:04:54,266
WE BID YOU FAREWELL.

61
00:04:56,605 --> 00:04:59,205
WHOA, THAT SHORT GUY
JUST CALLED US SEXY !

62
00:04:59,308 --> 00:05:01,375
IS THAT GAY, OR WHAT ?

63
00:05:01,477 --> 00:05:06,216
WHAT'S WITH THAT
WEIRD GUY.

64
00:05:06,318 --> 00:05:09,153
HE'S COMIN'
OVER HERE.

65
00:05:09,255 --> 00:05:11,823
I'M WITH THE, UH, NATIONAL
ASSOCIATION OF EROTIC DANCERS.

66
00:05:11,926 --> 00:05:13,925
EROTICA, I'M ELATED
TO INFORM YOU THAT

67
00:05:14,027 --> 00:05:15,695
I'M OFFICIALLY NOMINATING YOU

68
00:05:15,797 --> 00:05:18,098
FOR THIS YEAR'S
"STRIPPER OF THE YEAR" AWARD.

69
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,534
( gasp )
I'M NOMINATED
FOR A "STRIPPIE" ?!

70
00:05:20,636 --> 00:05:22,604
UH-HUH, SEE YA
IN LAS VEGAS.

71
00:05:22,706 --> 00:05:23,805
NO WAY !

72
00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:25,007
THIS IS
SO COOL !

73
00:05:25,109 --> 00:05:27,210
THE TENDERLOINS IS FINALLY
GONNA BE REPRESENTED

74
00:05:27,312 --> 00:05:28,912
AT THE STRIPPIES !

75
00:05:29,014 --> 00:05:32,350
YOU KNOW, I COULD REALLY USE
SOME SUPPORT AT THE AWARDS SHOW.

76
00:05:32,451 --> 00:05:35,955
( all together )
WE'RE GOING TO LAS VEGAS !

77
00:05:41,798 --> 00:05:43,698
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M REALLY HERE.

78
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,501
SOMEBODY PINCH ME.

79
00:05:45,603 --> 00:05:46,836
HEY !

80
00:05:46,938 --> 00:05:50,541
WHEN I SAID "PINCH ME"
I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY.

81
00:05:52,145 --> 00:05:54,547
BOY, AM I ITCHING
TO DO SOME GAMBLING.

82
00:05:54,649 --> 00:05:56,048
I HAVE A WHOLE SYSTEM
WORKED OUT.

83
00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:57,617
I BROUGHT $500.

84
00:05:57,719 --> 00:06:00,386
BY THE TIME WE LEAVE HERE,
I WILL HAVE DOUBLED MY MONEY.

85
00:06:00,488 --> 00:06:02,223
I'M GONNA START
WITH THIS $20.

86
00:06:02,325 --> 00:06:03,625
I LOVE VEGAS.

87
00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:07,030
THE DRINKING, THE GAMBLING,
THE INDISCRIMINATE SEX...

88
00:06:07,132 --> 00:06:09,499
BUT THAT'S THE SAME STUFF
YOU DO AT HOME.

89
00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:11,468
YEAH, BUT ALL THOSE
THINGS ARE MORE FUN

90
00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:13,404
WHEN YOU'RE ON VACATION.

91
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,340
WELL, I LOST IT.

92
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:16,809
YOU LOST YOUR
WHOLE $20 ALREADY ?

93
00:06:16,911 --> 00:06:18,678
NO, I LOST EVERYTHING.

94
00:06:18,780 --> 00:06:20,280
WHOLE $500,
IT'S GONE.

95
00:06:20,382 --> 00:06:22,250
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO
LAST ME THE WHOLE WEEK.

96
00:06:22,352 --> 00:06:23,351
I HAD A SYSTEM...

97
00:06:23,453 --> 00:06:25,487
( man )
WELL, WELL,
WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE ?

98
00:06:25,589 --> 00:06:28,057
DID YOU GUYS COME TO
WATCH THE STRIPPIES ?

99
00:06:28,159 --> 00:06:29,893
F-Y-I, DIRK,

100
00:06:29,995 --> 00:06:32,363
THE TENDERLOINS HAPPENS TO BE
IN THE STRIPPIES THIS YEAR.

101
00:06:32,465 --> 00:06:34,733
THAT'S RIGHT,
EROTICA'S NOMINATED

102
00:06:34,835 --> 00:06:36,101
FOR STRIPPER OF THE YEAR.

103
00:06:36,203 --> 00:06:37,302
REALLY ?

104
00:06:37,405 --> 00:06:40,674
WELL, SILICONES HAS
THREE GIRLS NOMINATED.

105
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,009
( whistles )

106
00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:45,714
THE ONLY HOPE YOU HAVE,
IS COMING IN FOURTH.

107
00:06:45,816 --> 00:06:47,650
HE'S JUST MEAN
FOR NO REASON.

108
00:06:47,752 --> 00:06:49,318
OH, LOOK !

109
00:06:49,420 --> 00:06:52,222
THE AMAZING
WALTER AND MOE !

110
00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:55,560
THEY'RE THE WORLD'S MOST
AMAZING MUSICIANS !

111
00:06:55,662 --> 00:06:57,863
I LOVE
PRESTIDIGITATION,

112
00:06:57,965 --> 00:07:00,033
WE GOTTA GET TICKETS !

113
00:07:07,244 --> 00:07:10,045
OHH, I LOVE PLAYING
WITH MY JEWELS...

114
00:07:10,147 --> 00:07:11,715
THIS NEXT HEIST
IS GOING TO BE

115
00:07:11,817 --> 00:07:14,519
THE MOST MAGNIFICENT,
FANTASTIC ONE YET.

116
00:07:14,621 --> 00:07:17,255
I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D
STICK TO THE PLAN FOR ONCE.

117
00:07:17,357 --> 00:07:19,825
ARE YOU CALLING ME A
NON-PLAN-STICKER-TO-ER ?

118
00:07:19,927 --> 00:07:20,927
HOW DARE YOU ?!

119
00:07:21,029 --> 00:07:22,663
I ALWAYS
STICK TO THE PLAN.

120
00:07:22,765 --> 00:07:23,798
OH, REALLY ?

121
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:24,932
I MUST HAVE
MISSED THE MEMO

122
00:07:25,034 --> 00:07:27,002
THAT SAID WE WERE STEALING
JUDY GARLAND !

123
00:07:27,104 --> 00:07:28,370
BUT I LOVE JUDY GARLAND.

124
00:07:28,473 --> 00:07:29,906
I KNOW YOU DO.

125
00:07:30,008 --> 00:07:32,074
LOOK, WALLY, IS THERE
SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME.

126
00:07:32,176 --> 00:07:34,010
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?

127
00:07:34,113 --> 00:07:35,613
IT'S THE JUDY GARLAND,

128
00:07:35,715 --> 00:07:37,516
THE LATE NIGHT TRIPS
TO THE BATHHOUSES,

129
00:07:37,618 --> 00:07:39,718
YOUR OBSESSION
WITH SHOW TUNES...

130
00:07:39,821 --> 00:07:42,155
I SAW THE WAY YOU WERE LOOKING
AT THOSE HOCKEY PLAYERS.

131
00:07:42,257 --> 00:07:44,558
SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ?
I'M GAY ?

132
00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:45,994
I'M NOT GAY.

133
00:07:46,096 --> 00:07:48,197
EVEN IF I WAS,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING GAY ?

134
00:07:48,299 --> 00:07:49,531
NOTHING !

135
00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:51,768
I DIDN'T SAY THERE WAS
ANYTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY.

136
00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:53,603
NOW YOU'RE PUTTING
WORDS IN MY MOUTH.

137
00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:55,306
I'LL PUT WHATEVER
I WANT IN YOUR MOUTH !

138
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,241
DON'T YOU FORGET WHO'S
RUNNING THIS SHOW.

139
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:58,443
BITCH !

140
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,044
UGH !

141
00:08:01,316 --> 00:08:02,715
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT,

142
00:08:02,818 --> 00:08:06,186
PIVOT TURN, STEP, HOLD,
BEND AND SPLIT !

143
00:08:06,289 --> 00:08:08,557
I KNOW YOU'RE
GONNA WIN THAT STRIPPIE.

144
00:08:08,659 --> 00:08:09,992
HEY, GIRLS, LISTEN,

145
00:08:10,094 --> 00:08:12,428
IS THERE ANY WAY ONE OF YOU
COULD LOAN ME A LITTLE MONEY ?

146
00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:13,864
I DON'T NEED A LOT,
I, UH...

147
00:08:13,966 --> 00:08:15,632
WHAT HAPPENED TO
THE $100 I GAVE YOU ?

148
00:08:15,735 --> 00:08:17,335
AND I GAVE YOU $200.

149
00:08:17,437 --> 00:08:18,769
I HIT A BAD STREAK.

150
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,273
IT'S OKAY,
IT'S PART OF THE PLAN.

151
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,242
I'LL WIN IT ALL BACK
BECAUSE I HAVE A SYSTEM.

152
00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:23,476
IT'S FOOLPROOF.

153
00:08:23,579 --> 00:08:24,911
WE ALL LEFT OUR MONEY
IN THE ROOM.

154
00:08:25,014 --> 00:08:28,049
I'LL GET YOU
SOME MONEY.

155
00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:31,421
HEY, BOYS !

156
00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:48,243
HERE YOU GO.

157
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:52,716
GOSH, EROTICA, AREN'T YOU
NERVOUS ABOUT THE STRIPPIES ?

158
00:08:52,818 --> 00:08:54,250
I COULD NEVER COMPETE
IN A COMPETITION.

159
00:08:54,352 --> 00:08:56,821
ONCE, I WAS IN
A HOT DOG-EATING CONTEST

160
00:08:56,923 --> 00:08:58,791
I WAS SO NERVOUS,
I STARTED LAUGHING

161
00:08:58,893 --> 00:09:01,060
AND A WEINER
CAME OUT MY NOSE !

162
00:09:01,162 --> 00:09:03,262
AAHHH...

163
00:09:03,364 --> 00:09:04,664
OOH !

164
00:09:06,302 --> 00:09:07,835
WAAAH !

165
00:09:10,441 --> 00:09:12,108
THE COMPETITION'S
GONNA BE TOUGH.

166
00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:15,145
I'M THINKING ABOUT ADDING
ONE MORE MOVE TO MY ROUTINE.

167
00:09:15,247 --> 00:09:16,646
WHAT MOVE ?

168
00:09:16,748 --> 00:09:18,883
SATAN'S PRETZEL.

169
00:09:18,985 --> 00:09:20,953
( gasp )
SATAN'S PRETZEL ?

170
00:09:21,055 --> 00:09:22,554
WELL, THAT'S
HUMANLY IMPOSSIBLE.

171
00:09:22,657 --> 00:09:26,594
I SAW A GIRL TRY IT BACK IN MY
HOMETOWN OF CAMELTOE, MISSOURI.

172
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,698
SHE BROKE HER LEG
IN 37 PLACES,

173
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,202
AND SHE NEVER
STRIPPED AGAIN.

174
00:09:34,406 --> 00:09:37,674
COME ON, QUEENSTER,
ROLL A NINE !

175
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:41,246
YOUR BABY NEEDS A NEW
PAIR OF ROYAL SLIPPERS !

176
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,449
NINE... NINE !

177
00:09:43,551 --> 00:09:44,751
YES !

178
00:09:44,853 --> 00:09:46,152
HI, KEVIN.

179
00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:48,690
WOW, LOOK AT
ALL YOUR CHIPS.

180
00:09:48,792 --> 00:09:51,060
YEAH !
THE QUEEN'S ON A ROLL !

181
00:09:51,162 --> 00:09:52,427
THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ?

182
00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:53,963
SHE'S IN TOWN TO
JUDGE THE STRIPPIES.

183
00:09:54,065 --> 00:09:58,736
COME ON, YOUR MAJESTY,
ROLL A FIVE !

184
00:09:58,838 --> 00:10:01,640
FIVE, YES !

185
00:10:01,742 --> 00:10:02,941
WOOP-WOOP...

186
00:10:03,043 --> 00:10:04,110
( laughs )

187
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,079
MAYBE YOU SHOULD QUIT
WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD.

188
00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:07,247
ARE YOU KIDDING ?

189
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:10,418
THE SYSTEM'S WORKING,
I'M UP $1,500 !

190
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,453
QUIT ?!

191
00:10:11,555 --> 00:10:13,322
PUT EVERYTHING
ON HARD EIGHT.

192
00:10:13,425 --> 00:10:14,790
$1,500 HARD EIGHT.

193
00:10:14,892 --> 00:10:16,793
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
A VERY GOOD--

194
00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:19,230
HARD EIGHT...
HARD EIGHT, WHOO !

195
00:10:19,332 --> 00:10:20,398
HARD EIGHT !

196
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,935
( Queen )
OOH, OOH, OOH...

197
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:25,238
IT'S A SYSTEM,
THE SYSTEM WORKS !

198
00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:28,543
I'M UP $15,000 !

199
00:10:28,644 --> 00:10:32,981
PREPARED TO BE PERPLEXED AND
ASTONISHED BY THE JOY OF...

200
00:10:33,083 --> 00:10:34,984
MAGIC !

201
00:10:35,086 --> 00:10:37,288
OOO, I LOVE MAGIC.

202
00:10:37,390 --> 00:10:39,457
NOW YOU SEE US...

203
00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:42,360
NOW YOU DON'T !

204
00:10:45,433 --> 00:10:47,901
( gasp )

205
00:10:48,003 --> 00:10:50,371
MY TIARA,
MY PRICELESS TIARA !

206
00:10:50,473 --> 00:10:52,206
IT'S BEEN STOLEN !

207
00:10:52,309 --> 00:10:55,478
DON'T YOU TWITS
REACT TO ANYTHING ?!

208
00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:56,646
MY CHIPS !

209
00:10:56,749 --> 00:10:57,914
ALL MY MONEY,
IT'S GONE !

210
00:10:58,016 --> 00:11:00,517
THIS IS NOT HOW THE SYSTEM
IS SUPPOSED TO WORK !

211
00:11:00,619 --> 00:11:03,422
( phone ringing )

212
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:14,937
CHIEF STROGANOFF ?

213
00:11:15,039 --> 00:11:16,672
SORRY TO CALL YOU
ON YOUR BRA PHONE,

214
00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:18,141
BUT THIS IS URGENT.

215
00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:20,612
TWO MASKED MAGICIANS HAVE JUST
STOLEN THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND'S

216
00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:22,046
PRICELESS TIARA.

217
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,348
I KNOW, I WAS THERE.

218
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,950
HOW DID YOU
HEAR ABOUT IT SO FAST ?

219
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,519
LUCKY GUESS.

220
00:11:26,621 --> 00:11:28,421
WE BELIEVE THESE ARE
THE SAME MASKED MAGICIANS

221
00:11:28,523 --> 00:11:30,891
WHO STOLE THE STANLEY CUP,
ROBBED A WAX MUSEUM,

222
00:11:30,993 --> 00:11:33,195
NUMEROUS SPERM BANKS
AND MEN'S LOCKER ROOMS.

223
00:11:33,297 --> 00:11:34,696
I'LL KEEP AN EYE OUT.

224
00:11:34,798 --> 00:11:37,133
THAT'S GREAT, BUT THAT'S
NOT THE REASON I CALLED.

225
00:11:37,235 --> 00:11:40,170
I NEED YOU TO PLACE
$1 MILLION ON THE METS

226
00:11:40,272 --> 00:11:41,806
TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL.

227
00:11:41,908 --> 00:11:44,209
CHIEF, THE SUPER BOWL
IS FOOTBALL.

228
00:11:44,311 --> 00:11:45,744
THE METS
ARE A BASEBALL TEAM.

229
00:11:45,847 --> 00:11:47,346
RIGHT.

230
00:11:47,448 --> 00:11:49,983
THANK GOD I DON'T GAMBLE.

231
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,656
PERSEPHONE ?

232
00:11:53,758 --> 00:11:55,057
EROTICA ?

233
00:11:55,159 --> 00:11:56,458
OH, I MUST HAVE
FELL ASLEEP.

234
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:58,361
YOU'VE BEEN OUT HERE
ALL DAY ?

235
00:11:58,463 --> 00:12:00,197
OH, I THINK I GOT
A LITTLE SUNBURN.

236
00:12:00,299 --> 00:12:01,332
A LITTLE ?

237
00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:04,869
WOW !

238
00:12:04,972 --> 00:12:08,274
THE AMAZING WALTER HAS BEEN
HOLDING HIS BREATH UNDERWATER

239
00:12:08,376 --> 00:12:11,278
FOR 15 LIFE-THREATENING
MINUTES.

240
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,714
HOW DOES HE DO IT ?

241
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:15,418
IT'S MAGIC !

242
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,420
( audience gasps )

243
00:12:20,226 --> 00:12:24,262
( cheers and applause )

244
00:12:24,866 --> 00:12:27,065
WHAT A SPECTACULAR
PRESENTATION !

245
00:12:27,168 --> 00:12:31,005
THIS DOESN'T REMIND ME OF
ANYTHING I'VE EVER SEEN BEFORE.

246
00:12:31,107 --> 00:12:32,273
IT WAS GREAT
THAT THE HOTEL

247
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:34,175
GAVE US FREE TICKETS
FOR BEING ROBBED.

248
00:12:34,277 --> 00:12:37,113
I'D RATHER THOSE MOBSTERS
GIVE ME BACK MY $15,000.

249
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,182
PERSEPHONE,
ARE YOU GONNA SIT DOWN ?

250
00:12:39,284 --> 00:12:40,618
PEOPLE CAN'T SEE.

251
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,786
I CAN'T,
IT HURT !

252
00:12:41,888 --> 00:12:43,755
EVERYTHING HURT.

253
00:12:43,857 --> 00:12:45,390
I CAN'T EVEN
PUT ON CLOTHES.

254
00:12:45,492 --> 00:12:47,259
FOR OUR NEXT TRICK,

255
00:12:47,361 --> 00:12:53,935
WE ACTUALLY ARE GOING TO
LEVITATE A BALDING EAGLE.

256
00:12:54,037 --> 00:12:55,671
LEVITATE !

257
00:12:55,773 --> 00:12:56,938
HOW DO WE DO IT ?

258
00:12:57,041 --> 00:12:59,442
IT'S MAGIC.

259
00:12:59,544 --> 00:13:01,980
OKAY,
FOR OUR NEXT TRICK

260
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:05,917
WE'RE GOING TO NEED
A VOLUNTEER.

261
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:09,256
WHO WANTS TO HELP UP SAW
THE BALDING EAGLE IN HALF ?

262
00:13:09,358 --> 00:13:11,092
HOW ABOUT... YOU !

263
00:13:11,194 --> 00:13:15,797
I'M SORRY, BUT BALDING EAGLES
ARE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES.

264
00:13:15,899 --> 00:13:17,466
WE SHOULD FOCUS
ON THEIR CONSERVATION,

265
00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:19,268
NOT EXPLOIT THEM
AS ENTERTAINMENT.

266
00:13:19,370 --> 00:13:20,971
I DON'T CONDONE
THE USE OF ANY ANIMAL

267
00:13:21,073 --> 00:13:22,606
FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF
AN AUDIENCE,

268
00:13:22,709 --> 00:13:24,409
AND I CANNOT
CONDONE THIS TRICK.

269
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:27,613
SO, NO,
I WILL NOT VOLUNTEER.

270
00:13:27,715 --> 00:13:29,783
YEAH, THAT'S GREAT, LADY,
BUT WE WEREN'T TALKING TO YOU.

271
00:13:29,885 --> 00:13:33,788
WE WERE TALKING
TO... HIM !

272
00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:39,762
MY TIARA !

273
00:13:39,864 --> 00:13:41,999
MY PRICELESS TIARA !

274
00:13:42,101 --> 00:13:43,366
WHAT ?
HMM...

275
00:13:43,469 --> 00:13:45,370
I THINK I KNOW HOW
THE MASKED MAGICIANS ARE.

276
00:13:45,472 --> 00:13:46,605
IT'S WALTER AND MOE.

277
00:13:46,707 --> 00:13:47,974
WHAT DO YOU
KNOW ABOUT THEM ?

278
00:13:48,076 --> 00:13:50,243
I KNOW THEY PUT ON
ONE HELL OF A SHOW.

279
00:13:50,346 --> 00:13:52,612
MAYBE YOU SHOULD PAY THEM
A LITTLE VISIT TOMORROW,

280
00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:54,082
SEE WHAT YOU CAN FIND OUT.

281
00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:55,583
BUT TOMORROW'S
THE STRIPPIES !

282
00:13:55,686 --> 00:13:56,718
DON'T WORRY,

283
00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:58,687
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND A WAY
TO FELL THE VILLAINS

284
00:13:58,789 --> 00:13:59,823
AND SHOW UP AT THE STRIPPIES

285
00:13:59,925 --> 00:14:01,991
JUST IN TIME
TO PERFORM AND WIN.

286
00:14:02,093 --> 00:14:04,128
( sighs )
OH, THE LIFE OF
AN EROTIC DANCING

287
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:06,131
SUPERHERO/SECRET AGENT.

288
00:14:06,233 --> 00:14:07,866
NOW, BE CAREFUL.

289
00:14:07,968 --> 00:14:10,269
WALTER AND MOE
ARE MASTERS OF ILLUSION.

290
00:14:10,372 --> 00:14:11,671
THEY'LL DAZZLE YOU.

291
00:14:11,774 --> 00:14:13,306
YOU WON'T
BELIEVE YOUR EYES.

292
00:14:13,409 --> 00:14:15,977
"THE LAS VEGAS POST" SAYS
THEY'RE A MUST-SEE,

293
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,315
AN AWESOME DISPLAY
OF WONDERMENT AND WHIMSY."

294
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:20,716
OKAY, I GET IT.

295
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:21,752
IF YOU LOVE MAGIC,

296
00:14:21,854 --> 00:14:23,587
THEN YOU'LL LOVE
WALTER AND MOE.

297
00:14:23,689 --> 00:14:27,025
IF YOU CAN ONLY SEE
ONE MAGIC SHOW, THEN IT--

298
00:14:30,699 --> 00:14:32,933
LOOK AT ME !

299
00:14:33,035 --> 00:14:34,635
I'M A QUEEN,
I'M A QUEEN !

300
00:14:34,738 --> 00:14:37,372
PLEASE... I'M TRYING TO
WATCH "TRADING SPACES".

301
00:14:37,474 --> 00:14:38,607
VERN IS OVER-BUDGET

302
00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:40,744
AND PAIGE IS GOING TO BE
VERY, VERY UPSET.

303
00:14:40,845 --> 00:14:43,280
( doorbell ringing )

304
00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:45,984
YES ?

305
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:47,886
HI, I'M APRIL.

306
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,988
APRIL, UH... MAYJUNE.

307
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,492
I'M A REPORTER,
I'M HERE TO INTERVIEW YOU.

308
00:14:52,594 --> 00:14:53,627
WHAT ?

309
00:14:53,729 --> 00:14:55,430
WE DON'T HAVE AN INTERVIEW
SCHEDULED TODAY.

310
00:14:55,532 --> 00:14:56,697
WHO DO YOU WORK FOR ?

311
00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:00,002
OH, UH,
THE... NEW DAILY...

312
00:15:00,104 --> 00:15:01,704
JOURNAL OF MAGIC...

313
00:15:01,806 --> 00:15:04,275
TIMES-- GAZETTE--
MONTHLY.

314
00:15:04,377 --> 00:15:05,843
PLEASE, COME IN.

315
00:15:05,945 --> 00:15:07,946
ENTRE VOUS.

316
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,985
OKAY, SO LET'S GET
RIGHT TO THE QUESTIONS.

317
00:15:12,087 --> 00:15:14,054
YOUR STAGE SHOW
IS SPECTACULAR.

318
00:15:14,157 --> 00:15:16,624
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN
THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND'S
TIARA WAS STOLEN ?

319
00:15:16,726 --> 00:15:19,160
AREN'T YOU GOING TO RECORD
THIS INTERVIEW OR TAKE NOTES ?

320
00:15:19,262 --> 00:15:21,063
I-- I HAVE A GOOD MEMORY.

321
00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:23,267
HEY, IS THAT
JUDY GARLAND ?

322
00:15:23,368 --> 00:15:24,968
WHERE DID
YOU GUYS GET THAT ?

323
00:15:25,071 --> 00:15:26,871
WE BOUGHT IT.
WE MADE IT.

324
00:15:26,973 --> 00:15:29,307
FOR AN INTERVIEWER, YOU SURE
ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS.

325
00:15:29,410 --> 00:15:32,112
WELL, SOMETIMES I FIND
THAT ASKING QUESTIONS

326
00:15:32,214 --> 00:15:34,514
IS THE BEST WAY
TO GET ANSWERS.

327
00:15:34,616 --> 00:15:36,150
OF COURSE...

328
00:15:36,252 --> 00:15:37,719
NOW, IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT,

329
00:15:37,821 --> 00:15:39,788
I HAVE TO GO DO SOME
FACT-CHECKING.

330
00:15:39,890 --> 00:15:41,824
I MEAN,
GO MAKE A DOODIE.

331
00:15:41,927 --> 00:15:45,529
WALTER WILL KEEP YOU
ENTERTAINED, I'M SURE.

332
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,407
HELLO, OPERATOR ?

333
00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:57,078
DO YOU HAVE YOU THE NUMBER
FOR THE NEW DAILY JOURNAL

334
00:15:57,180 --> 00:16:01,583
OF MAGIC TIMES
GAZETTE MONTHLY ?

335
00:16:14,503 --> 00:16:17,639
NORMALLY I ABHOR THE
OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN BUT--

336
00:16:17,741 --> 00:16:19,340
( gasp )
GREAT ASS.

337
00:16:19,442 --> 00:16:22,277
I CAN'T FIND
EROTICA ANYWHERE.

338
00:16:22,379 --> 00:16:23,446
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ?

339
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:25,649
CALM DOWN,
YOU CRAZY MEATBALL.

340
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,151
THERE'S STILL TIME.

341
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:29,554
EROTICA NOT GOING ON
FOR AT LEAST HALF-HOUR.

342
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,357
YEAH, BEFORE HER THERE'S STILL
THE GIRLS FROM SILICONES,

343
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,227
MUFFY'S,
THE COCK PIT, THE GINA,

344
00:16:34,329 --> 00:16:36,097
THE WHISKER BISCUIT
AND TWATTY'S.

345
00:16:36,199 --> 00:16:38,065
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ?!

346
00:16:41,338 --> 00:16:44,807
WALTER, CAN I SEE YOU
FOR A SECOND ?

347
00:16:46,612 --> 00:16:47,845
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE
INTERESTED TO KNOW

348
00:16:47,947 --> 00:16:50,115
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE
WITH THE NEW DAILY JOURNAL

349
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:51,517
OF MAGIC TIMES
GAZETTE MONTHLY

350
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:55,255
AND THEY DON'T HAVE A REPORTER
NAMED "APRIL MAYJUNE."

351
00:16:55,357 --> 00:16:57,458
I THOUGHT SHE SEEMED
A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS.

352
00:16:57,561 --> 00:17:00,662
WELL, SHE'S ABOUT
TO SEEM A LITTLE--

353
00:17:00,765 --> 00:17:01,897
DEAD !

354
00:17:01,999 --> 00:17:03,733
( evil laughter )

355
00:17:14,849 --> 00:17:17,584
LOOKS LIKE EROTICA
GOT COLD FEET.

356
00:17:17,687 --> 00:17:20,321
IF I WAS HER, I'D BE AFRAID TO
DANCE AGAINST MY GIRLS, TOO.

357
00:17:20,423 --> 00:17:22,391
GUESS YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO FORFEIT.

358
00:17:22,493 --> 00:17:23,459
NOT TRUE.

359
00:17:23,561 --> 00:17:24,593
ACCORDING TO
THE STRIPPIE RULEBOOK,

360
00:17:24,696 --> 00:17:26,162
SECTION 12, ORDINANCE 72-B,

361
00:17:26,264 --> 00:17:28,098
"IN THE EVENT THAT A STRIPPER OF
THE YEAR NOMINEE CANNOT PERFORM,

362
00:17:28,201 --> 00:17:30,134
"A REPRESENTATIVE FROM
THE NOMINEE'S CLUB OF ORIGIN

363
00:17:30,236 --> 00:17:32,071
"IS ENTITLED TO BE SUBSTITUTED
IF SAID NOMINEE

364
00:17:32,173 --> 00:17:34,374
IS INCAPACITATED FOR
REASONS OF UNKNOWN ORIGINS."

365
00:17:34,476 --> 00:17:35,508
SO, IF EROTICA
DOESN'T SHOW UP,

366
00:17:35,610 --> 00:17:36,743
WE CAN HAVE SOMEONE ELSE
FROM THE TENDERLOINS

367
00:17:36,845 --> 00:17:37,878
DANCE IN HER PLACE !

368
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:39,213
THAT'S RIGHT.

369
00:17:39,315 --> 00:17:40,949
DON'T LOOK AT ME,
I'M TOO SUNBURNED.

370
00:17:41,051 --> 00:17:42,717
SO, MISS MAYJUNE,

371
00:17:42,819 --> 00:17:44,553
SEEING THAT
YOU'RE A REPORTER,

372
00:17:44,656 --> 00:17:47,491
WE THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE A TOUR
OF OUR PRIVATE MAGIC ROOM.

373
00:17:47,593 --> 00:17:50,762
WOW, THAT SOUNDS GREAT !

374
00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:54,934
I DECORATED THIS ROOM.

375
00:17:55,036 --> 00:17:57,171
WELL, ACTUALLY,
MOE PICKED THE SCONCES.

376
00:17:57,272 --> 00:17:59,507
WOW, LOOK AT
ALL THIS STUFF !

377
00:17:59,609 --> 00:18:00,875
CAN YOU TELL ME HOW
YOU DO THAT TRICK

378
00:18:00,977 --> 00:18:02,978
WHERE YOU MAKE THE THOUSAND
POUNDS OF CHEESE DISAPPEAR ?

379
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,448
A GOOD MAGICIAN NEVER
TELLS HIS SECRETS !

380
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:09,119
BUT WE WILL TELL YOU
HOW TO MAKE YOU DISAPPEAR !

381
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:10,721
OH, WHAT ARE YOU--

382
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:12,490
( muffled screams )

383
00:18:13,394 --> 00:18:16,529
THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE WORST TRICK EVER...

384
00:18:16,631 --> 00:18:18,298
ON PURPOSE !

385
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:22,737
WE ARE GONNA TURN YOU
INTO A ABRA-CADAVER !

386
00:18:24,676 --> 00:18:26,075
GAZELLE,
YOU GOTTA GO ON !

387
00:18:26,177 --> 00:18:29,012
NO, I CAN'T,
I'M TERRIFIED OF COMPETITION.

388
00:18:29,114 --> 00:18:30,881
I HAVE ABOUT AS MUCH
CHANCE OF WINNING

389
00:18:30,983 --> 00:18:32,583
AS A FISH
IN A NOODLE FACTORY.

390
00:18:32,686 --> 00:18:34,220
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

391
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,487
I DON'T KNOW,
I'M FROM THE SOUTH,

392
00:18:35,589 --> 00:18:40,027
WE SAY THINGS LIKE THAT.

393
00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:41,696
AHH... UGH !

394
00:18:41,798 --> 00:18:44,032
( muffled talking )

395
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:47,470
HUH ?!
WHAT ?!

396
00:18:47,572 --> 00:18:49,106
NEVERMIND.

397
00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:51,175
THE GIST WAS THAT I'M ABOUT
TO BEAT YOU SENSELESS,

398
00:18:51,277 --> 00:18:52,677
AND TURN YOU IN
TO THE AUTHORITIES.

399
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:53,911
GET HER !

400
00:18:54,014 --> 00:18:55,147
AAAH... UGH !

401
00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:57,884
WALTER !

402
00:19:00,756 --> 00:19:02,090
HAH, HAH...

403
00:19:02,192 --> 00:19:03,692
( grunting )

404
00:19:09,201 --> 00:19:10,801
HAH, HAH...

405
00:19:12,405 --> 00:19:15,107
OH, ENOUGH OF
MAGIC-RELATED WEAPONS

406
00:19:15,209 --> 00:19:18,144
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY !

407
00:19:18,246 --> 00:19:20,314
AAH...

408
00:19:20,416 --> 00:19:21,448
WALTER !

409
00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:23,518
NOOOO... !

410
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,855
( whimpering )

411
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,790
MY LITTLE WOODEN BABY...

412
00:19:27,892 --> 00:19:30,593
OH, WALTER,
I'M SO SORRY !

413
00:19:30,695 --> 00:19:35,234
MOE, IS THAT YOU, MOE ?

414
00:19:35,336 --> 00:19:36,635
YES, LITTLE BUDDY.

415
00:19:36,737 --> 00:19:38,805
HANG IN THERE,
YOU'LL BE OKAY.

416
00:19:38,907 --> 00:19:40,541
I DON'T FEEL SO HOT.

417
00:19:40,643 --> 00:19:44,245
EVERYTHING'S DARK...

418
00:19:44,348 --> 00:19:46,281
THE AUTHORITIES
SHOULD BE HERE SHORTLY.

419
00:19:46,384 --> 00:19:49,151
I GUESS I'LL MAKE SURE THEY
SEND AN... AMBULANCE.

420
00:19:49,253 --> 00:19:50,854
TELL ME,
STRIPPERELLA,

421
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,857
HOW DID YOU GET
IN THAT BOX ?

422
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,658
( coughing )

423
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:59,967
AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT WOMAN
WHO CLAIMED TO BE A REPORTER ?

424
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,503
A GOOD MAGICIAN
NEVER TELLS HER SECRETS.

425
00:20:02,605 --> 00:20:03,837
( gasp )
OH, NO...

426
00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:05,274
THE STRIPPIES !

427
00:20:05,376 --> 00:20:07,675
YOU GOTTA DO THIS,
WE'RE OUTTA TIME !

428
00:20:07,778 --> 00:20:09,645
EROTICA IS
SUPPOSED TO GO ON NEXT !

429
00:20:09,747 --> 00:20:12,516
I CAN'T,
I JUST CAN'T !

430
00:20:12,619 --> 00:20:14,252
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF
SHE DANCES OR NOT,

431
00:20:14,355 --> 00:20:15,887
SHE'S JUST
GOING TO LOSE.

432
00:20:15,989 --> 00:20:17,323
SHE'S A BIG LOSER.

433
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,291
LIKE ALL OF YOU
AT THE TENDERLOINS.

434
00:20:19,393 --> 00:20:20,627
THAT'S IT !

435
00:20:20,729 --> 00:20:21,795
I'M DOING IT !

436
00:20:21,897 --> 00:20:25,166
TELL 'EM EROTICA'S REPLACEMENT
IS READY TO GO !

437
00:20:26,202 --> 00:20:27,370
( panting )

438
00:20:27,472 --> 00:20:28,671
( cheering )

439
00:20:28,773 --> 00:20:29,906
EROTICA ?

440
00:20:30,008 --> 00:20:31,275
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ?

441
00:20:31,377 --> 00:20:32,977
AM I TOO LATE ?

442
00:20:47,097 --> 00:20:49,565
THE SATAN'S PRETZEL ?!

443
00:20:52,304 --> 00:20:53,604
A ONE
AND TWO...

444
00:20:53,706 --> 00:20:56,207
AND, AHH...

445
00:20:56,309 --> 00:20:58,777
THE WINNER.

446
00:20:58,879 --> 00:21:02,282
I WON, I WON !

447
00:21:08,459 --> 00:21:10,660
EROTICA,
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ?

448
00:21:10,762 --> 00:21:13,497
I WASN'T FEELING WELL,
BUT I SUDDENLY GOT BETTER.

449
00:21:13,599 --> 00:21:16,467
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
IT WAS... MAGIC.

450
00:21:16,569 --> 00:21:19,439
( laughter )

451
00:21:41,136 --> 00:21:43,871
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

452
00:21:45,508 --> 00:21:48,342
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪