1 00:00:46,766 --> 00:00:48,768 I'm going to fuck you. 2 00:00:48,768 --> 00:00:53,772 I'm going to fuck you all night long. 3 00:00:53,772 --> 00:00:55,774 I'm gonna be late, all right? 4 00:00:57,275 --> 00:01:00,277 - Didn't you get enough? - Never enough. 5 00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:01,779 Why don't we save it till the weekend? 6 00:01:01,779 --> 00:01:04,281 Why don't we save it till we get to the car? 7 00:01:04,782 --> 00:01:06,783 I was thinking... 8 00:01:06,783 --> 00:01:08,284 that we could go away, just the two of us. 9 00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:09,786 Snowboarding. 10 00:01:09,786 --> 00:01:13,288 - Cool, except there's no snow. - In Vermont. 11 00:01:13,288 --> 00:01:14,890 Daphne was just there with her boyfriend. 12 00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:16,391 She said it was amazing. 13 00:01:16,391 --> 00:01:17,893 They stayed in this awesome place. 14 00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:20,895 It was a converted farmhouse and every room had a fireplace and a jacuzzi. 15 00:01:20,905 --> 00:01:23,898 Did they have those little mints on the pillows? 16 00:01:23,898 --> 00:01:25,900 I forgot, Brian Kinney doesn't do romance. 17 00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:26,901 I don't need an excuse to fuck. 18 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:29,903 You also don't need an excuse to turn me down. 19 00:01:29,903 --> 00:01:31,404 Why don't you just admit 20 00:01:31,415 --> 00:01:34,908 you don't want to go away with me for the weekend? 21 00:01:34,917 --> 00:01:38,911 I don't want to go away with you for the weekend. 22 00:01:38,911 --> 00:01:40,412 Well, at least it's out in the open. 23 00:01:40,412 --> 00:01:41,914 I want to go away with you for the whole fucking week. 24 00:01:41,914 --> 00:01:43,414 Right. 25 00:01:43,425 --> 00:01:44,916 Hey, if you're not interested, 26 00:01:44,926 --> 00:01:47,919 I can find somebody who is. 27 00:01:47,919 --> 00:01:49,420 A week with me in Vermont? 28 00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:52,923 Jacuzzi, fireplace? 29 00:01:52,923 --> 00:01:55,926 Guess it's just the two of us. 30 00:01:55,926 --> 00:01:56,927 Are you serious? 31 00:01:56,936 --> 00:01:58,027 You're off on spring break. 32 00:01:58,527 --> 00:01:59,528 I'm about to make partner, 33 00:01:59,528 --> 00:02:01,130 which I'd say more than entitles me 34 00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:03,532 to a week of snowboarding, 35 00:02:03,543 --> 00:02:05,033 and fucking your brains out. 36 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:07,543 Really? 37 00:02:16,543 --> 00:02:18,545 Did you put Gus down? 38 00:02:18,545 --> 00:02:21,547 Yep, he's all snuggled up in his bed. 39 00:02:22,548 --> 00:02:24,550 Now it's my turn. 40 00:02:28,053 --> 00:02:31,056 Poor baby. You look exhausted. 41 00:02:31,056 --> 00:02:35,159 So do you. 42 00:02:35,159 --> 00:02:36,660 Roll over. 43 00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:38,662 What for? 44 00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:40,664 Go ahead. 45 00:02:40,664 --> 00:02:42,165 Come on. 46 00:02:42,165 --> 00:02:43,166 Face down. 47 00:02:43,166 --> 00:02:44,667 Ooh, yes, sir, ma'am. 48 00:02:51,673 --> 00:02:55,878 Ah, you are going to love this. 49 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,383 That's it. That feels good. 50 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:05,585 Let all the tension go. 51 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,588 Just finished the floors. 52 00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:09,789 They look great. 53 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,790 That's nice. 54 00:03:11,790 --> 00:03:12,791 'Night. 55 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:15,194 - 'Night. - 'Night. 56 00:03:16,695 --> 00:03:18,697 Maybe I should've gone with the hardwood 57 00:03:18,697 --> 00:03:19,697 instead of the pine. 58 00:03:19,708 --> 00:03:21,699 Don't think about it. Just... relax. 59 00:03:32,209 --> 00:03:34,216 Now roll over. 60 00:03:40,716 --> 00:03:43,618 This is a special form of massage... 61 00:03:46,121 --> 00:03:47,922 called foreplay. 62 00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,132 Oh, I've missed this. 63 00:03:59,132 --> 00:04:04,236 Me too. 64 00:04:04,236 --> 00:04:07,739 God, you're so hot. 65 00:04:09,741 --> 00:04:12,348 So are you. 66 00:04:41,168 --> 00:04:43,170 You know, the good thing about not balancing your cheque book 67 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,672 is that when you finally do, you get to relive all your purchases. 68 00:04:45,672 --> 00:04:48,174 You see... ooh, the pleasure vault. 69 00:04:48,174 --> 00:04:51,377 All right. Let me see. 70 00:04:51,377 --> 00:04:53,879 No... no... all right, you know, 71 00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:58,483 in the future, balance before you buy. 72 00:04:58,984 --> 00:04:59,985 How much is it going to cost me this time? 73 00:04:59,985 --> 00:05:01,486 Um, 50? 74 00:05:01,987 --> 00:05:03,988 Uh, hm, closer to 80, 75 00:05:04,008 --> 00:05:05,489 if I want to turn my phone back on. 76 00:05:05,489 --> 00:05:08,595 Try 100 if you'd like to pay half the electric. 77 00:05:13,096 --> 00:05:14,497 So is he as good as he looks? 78 00:05:14,497 --> 00:05:18,309 And spare us your monosyllabic answers. I want details. 79 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,204 Uh, first I made him worship my cock for an hour. 80 00:05:22,204 --> 00:05:25,306 Then I let him rim me for a good 45 minutes, and... 81 00:05:25,306 --> 00:05:27,508 after that, I fucked him so hard he passed out. 82 00:05:27,508 --> 00:05:29,010 I'm surprised he's up and walking around. 83 00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:31,012 Ooh, can the sex talk. Lesbian approaching. 84 00:05:31,012 --> 00:05:33,013 Are you kidding? 85 00:05:33,013 --> 00:05:35,315 Mel and Linz are a couple of sex machines. 86 00:05:35,315 --> 00:05:36,816 - They soak the sheets. - Hey, I don't care 87 00:05:36,816 --> 00:05:37,817 to discuss my personal life 88 00:05:37,828 --> 00:05:39,819 with a bunch of foul-mouthed fags. 89 00:05:39,819 --> 00:05:40,819 Well... 90 00:05:40,819 --> 00:05:42,821 Somebody's on the rag. 91 00:05:42,832 --> 00:05:44,823 Or not getting any. 92 00:05:44,823 --> 00:05:46,525 You see how much you get when you have a family to support, 93 00:05:46,536 --> 00:05:50,028 a kid to raise and a major renovation going on under your roof. 94 00:05:50,028 --> 00:05:51,529 But, of course you never will 95 00:05:51,529 --> 00:05:54,032 since your only responsibility is to your dicks. 96 00:05:54,032 --> 00:05:56,033 Which is why i'm smiling and you're not. 97 00:05:56,033 --> 00:05:58,235 Sounds to me like a case of... 98 00:05:58,235 --> 00:05:59,536 L.B.D. 99 00:06:01,738 --> 00:06:02,838 What the hell's that? 100 00:06:02,838 --> 00:06:03,839 Lesbian bed death. 101 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,741 You know, first it dries up, 102 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,243 then it shrivels up, then it closes up, 103 00:06:07,253 --> 00:06:08,744 then it disappears. 104 00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:10,845 How come I've never heard of this? 105 00:06:10,845 --> 00:06:13,348 Because it only exists in the minds of cunty gay men. 106 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,150 Don't worry, Mel, 107 00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:16,151 they're doing research. 108 00:06:16,551 --> 00:06:18,052 New developments are emerging every day. 109 00:06:18,052 --> 00:06:19,753 There's going to be a telethon. 110 00:06:19,753 --> 00:06:21,455 Yeah, we're all going to wear little, um, 111 00:06:21,455 --> 00:06:22,956 fuchsia ribbons on our lapels. 112 00:06:25,358 --> 00:06:26,359 See you, Mel. 113 00:06:28,161 --> 00:06:30,163 He wants to see you right away. 114 00:06:30,663 --> 00:06:32,164 What's the rush? 115 00:06:32,164 --> 00:06:34,166 He's been on the phone all morning with his attorney. 116 00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:35,667 That can only mean one thing. 117 00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:37,169 He's divorcing his wife? 118 00:06:37,169 --> 00:06:40,671 He's making you partner. 119 00:06:40,671 --> 00:06:42,673 Well, what are you so excited about? 120 00:06:43,174 --> 00:06:45,176 I'm happy for you. 121 00:06:45,176 --> 00:06:48,178 And the partner's assistant gets to be a raving bitch to everybody. 122 00:06:49,679 --> 00:06:50,680 Now get in there. 123 00:06:51,181 --> 00:06:54,683 And good luck, partner. 124 00:06:54,683 --> 00:06:55,684 Brian. 125 00:06:55,684 --> 00:06:57,686 What's up? 126 00:06:57,686 --> 00:07:01,590 - Big change coming. - Oh? 127 00:07:01,590 --> 00:07:04,392 I sold the agency. 128 00:07:04,392 --> 00:07:06,394 - What? - To Gardner Vance. 129 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,396 He's been on my tail for over a year, 130 00:07:08,396 --> 00:07:10,397 finally made me an offer I couldn't refuse. 131 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,202 Now I can buy that place in Bermuda, 132 00:07:15,212 --> 00:07:17,703 retire and play golf until I drop. 133 00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:20,906 Pop! 134 00:07:20,906 --> 00:07:22,408 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 135 00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:25,510 What about me? 136 00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:28,113 You made me a promise. 137 00:07:28,613 --> 00:07:30,115 If we had another 5 million-plus year, you... 138 00:07:30,115 --> 00:07:32,116 Look, I had no choice. 139 00:07:32,116 --> 00:07:33,617 Okay? I had to sell. 140 00:07:33,617 --> 00:07:36,520 You wouldn't have a company worth buying without me. 141 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,021 I brought in over a third of your accounts. 142 00:07:38,021 --> 00:07:40,523 And I'm going to make sure that Vance knows all about that. 143 00:07:40,523 --> 00:07:44,528 Okay, look, you are going to be his guy. He needs you. 144 00:07:46,528 --> 00:07:47,529 I give you my word. 145 00:07:57,538 --> 00:07:59,039 Well, with the money Teddy loaned me, 146 00:07:59,039 --> 00:08:03,543 my new balance should be $147.16. 147 00:08:04,043 --> 00:08:07,547 So were your calculations accurate? 148 00:08:08,047 --> 00:08:11,049 Just a... smidge off. 149 00:08:11,049 --> 00:08:17,555 - This says I have $10,000,147.16. - Huh? 150 00:08:19,557 --> 00:08:21,058 Obviously that's a mistake. 151 00:08:21,058 --> 00:08:25,061 Not necessarily. It is an interest bearing account. 152 00:08:25,061 --> 00:08:27,063 What are you doing? 153 00:08:27,063 --> 00:08:29,566 Only one way to find out. 154 00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:43,678 Lesbian bed death? 155 00:08:43,678 --> 00:08:45,180 What kind of bullshit is that? 156 00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:46,680 There must be something to it. 157 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,182 I mean, we know at least three other couples 158 00:08:48,182 --> 00:08:49,683 who have stopped having sex. 159 00:08:49,683 --> 00:08:52,686 Every couple goes through hot and cold spells. 160 00:08:52,696 --> 00:08:54,187 How long have you been together? 161 00:08:54,187 --> 00:08:55,188 Seven years. 162 00:08:55,188 --> 00:08:57,190 I'd consider yourselves lucky. 163 00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,192 Listen, I may not be an authority 164 00:08:59,692 --> 00:09:00,692 on long-term relationships. 165 00:09:00,692 --> 00:09:02,194 In fact, I mean, I try to avoid them; 166 00:09:02,694 --> 00:09:05,197 but I do know a thing or two about sex, 167 00:09:05,197 --> 00:09:07,199 and I can tell you this, 168 00:09:07,199 --> 00:09:10,201 your battery isn't dead, it just needs recharging. 169 00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:12,803 What you need is to shake things up. 170 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:15,306 Do something different, be spontaneous. 171 00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:16,606 Spontaneous. 172 00:09:16,606 --> 00:09:19,809 Yeah. 173 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,811 A couple of fuckable babes like you? 174 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,323 You shouldn't have any problem. 175 00:09:38,325 --> 00:09:40,827 I found this gay B and B five minutes from Sugarbush. 176 00:09:41,329 --> 00:09:43,830 Sounds suspiciously lesbian. 177 00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:45,631 It's the best snowboarding in Vermont. 178 00:09:45,631 --> 00:09:47,132 Uh-huh? 179 00:09:47,633 --> 00:09:50,135 This is the first time that we've ever gone away together. 180 00:09:50,135 --> 00:09:51,337 Is that such a good idea, 181 00:09:51,337 --> 00:09:53,137 with your company being taken over? 182 00:09:53,137 --> 00:09:54,639 They need me more than I need them. 183 00:09:54,639 --> 00:09:57,542 Guess you've got bigger balls than I do. 184 00:09:57,542 --> 00:10:00,344 Was it ever a question? 185 00:10:00,844 --> 00:10:02,846 What'll it be, boys? Drinks are on me. 186 00:10:03,347 --> 00:10:04,348 Is that what you're going to do 187 00:10:04,348 --> 00:10:06,350 with the 100 bucks I gave you? 188 00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:09,852 I, uh, won't be needing any further financial assistance. 189 00:10:11,854 --> 00:10:13,856 Somebody accidentally deposited 190 00:10:13,856 --> 00:10:17,859 $10,000,000 in his account. 191 00:10:17,959 --> 00:10:20,062 Fuck. 192 00:10:21,062 --> 00:10:24,064 I hope you didn't touch any of it. 193 00:10:24,064 --> 00:10:26,066 Just a measly 300. 194 00:10:26,066 --> 00:10:27,868 What? 195 00:10:27,868 --> 00:10:29,869 Do you realize what you've done? 196 00:10:29,869 --> 00:10:31,371 You committed bank fraud. 197 00:10:31,371 --> 00:10:33,373 That's a federal offence. 198 00:10:33,373 --> 00:10:34,374 Oh... oh my God. 199 00:10:34,374 --> 00:10:35,375 I warned you. 200 00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:37,876 Oh my... oh my God. What am I going to do? 201 00:10:38,377 --> 00:10:39,378 Tomorrow you're going to go back to the bank, 202 00:10:39,378 --> 00:10:45,383 you're going to return every cent. 203 00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:47,885 Uh, do you mind if I borrow back that 100? 204 00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:53,390 There was this fabulous Gucci belt... 205 00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:12,907 - Gardner Vance. - Brian Kinney. 206 00:11:12,907 --> 00:11:13,917 Sit. 207 00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:27,420 Ryder tells me that you're the best account exec he's got. 208 00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,922 He's right. 209 00:11:30,922 --> 00:11:33,425 This is why I fired everyone else. 210 00:11:33,425 --> 00:11:38,429 I've always hated those long lines at the water cooler. 211 00:11:38,429 --> 00:11:39,930 He also tells me that you are... 212 00:11:40,431 --> 00:11:44,434 arrogant, willful and, um... 213 00:11:44,934 --> 00:11:47,537 insubordinate. 214 00:11:47,537 --> 00:11:49,539 I'll try my best to live up to my reputation. 215 00:11:50,039 --> 00:11:51,040 Why don't you start by telling me 216 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:57,846 why I shouldn't fire you too? 217 00:11:57,846 --> 00:11:59,347 Uh, for one thing, 218 00:11:59,347 --> 00:12:02,850 I know more about this company than you do. 219 00:12:02,850 --> 00:12:05,353 For another, I have the relationship with the clients. 220 00:12:05,353 --> 00:12:07,354 If i go, they go. 221 00:12:07,354 --> 00:12:09,856 And finally, we both know you're going to get more out of me 222 00:12:09,856 --> 00:12:11,358 than some talentless toady you bring in 223 00:12:11,358 --> 00:12:15,361 for half the price. 224 00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:16,862 Before I acquired this firm, 225 00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:19,365 I learned everything about it. Everything. 226 00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,367 I also contacted every one of your clients, 227 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:26,871 and they agreed to stay, with or without you. 228 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:30,874 With regard to my hiring some "toady", at least, 229 00:12:31,074 --> 00:12:32,576 they give me the one thing I doubt you ever will, 230 00:12:32,576 --> 00:12:35,078 Their loyalty. So are there any other reasons 231 00:12:35,579 --> 00:12:39,384 why I shouldn't fire you too? 232 00:12:41,384 --> 00:12:45,787 I can't think of one. 233 00:12:45,787 --> 00:12:48,790 You've got a week. 234 00:12:48,790 --> 00:12:52,793 Prove to me that you're worth it. 235 00:12:52,793 --> 00:12:54,795 That long? 236 00:12:54,795 --> 00:12:56,797 Oh, by the way, 237 00:12:57,297 --> 00:13:00,800 rumour has it that you're gay. 238 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,102 The rumour's right. 239 00:13:03,102 --> 00:13:08,607 But unless i'm fucking you, it's none of your business. 240 00:13:08,607 --> 00:13:10,409 There's been a slight misunderstanding. 241 00:13:10,409 --> 00:13:11,410 Very slight. 242 00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:14,011 - Tiny. Itsy bitsy-weensy. - Yeah. 243 00:13:14,512 --> 00:13:16,514 It seems Mr. Honeycutt inadvertently, uh, 244 00:13:16,514 --> 00:13:19,116 withdrew funds that didn't belong to him. 245 00:13:19,316 --> 00:13:20,817 But, uh, here's the money, all crisp and new. 246 00:13:20,817 --> 00:13:22,318 It's like it never happened. Have a nice day. 247 00:13:22,318 --> 00:13:26,022 Wait... right there. 248 00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:28,023 Oh my God. They're going to arrest me. 249 00:13:28,023 --> 00:13:29,324 All right, just calm down. 250 00:13:29,324 --> 00:13:31,727 - What am I going to do? - You're going to play dumb. 251 00:13:31,737 --> 00:13:33,228 - I can do that. - You're going to say 252 00:13:33,239 --> 00:13:35,230 you withdrew the money, never realizing it wasn't yours, 253 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,432 which is why you've come to return it. 254 00:13:37,432 --> 00:13:38,933 That's perfect. 255 00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:40,435 That's perfect. They're sure to believe me. 256 00:13:40,435 --> 00:13:43,336 But if they don't, try for a cell with southern exposure. 257 00:13:43,336 --> 00:13:44,137 Which one of you 258 00:13:44,538 --> 00:13:46,139 is Mr. Honeycutt? 259 00:13:46,139 --> 00:13:47,441 I... 260 00:13:47,941 --> 00:13:48,742 He is. 261 00:13:48,742 --> 00:13:50,743 Please come with me. 262 00:13:52,044 --> 00:13:55,047 I did it. I stole the money. I'm guilty. 263 00:13:55,047 --> 00:13:57,049 I'm so, so sorry. 264 00:13:59,050 --> 00:14:01,052 It was a mistake. 265 00:14:01,052 --> 00:14:03,054 Oh, it was no mistake. 266 00:14:03,054 --> 00:14:05,556 The money was correctly deposited into your account, 267 00:14:05,556 --> 00:14:11,562 All $10,000,000 of it. 268 00:14:11,562 --> 00:14:16,566 I... I need to, uh, consult with my accountant. 269 00:14:16,566 --> 00:14:20,072 - What exactly did he mean by that? - All right. 270 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,575 What exactly did you mean by that? 271 00:14:26,675 --> 00:14:30,077 The money was left to you by George Schickel. 272 00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:31,579 George? 273 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,690 He also wanted you to have this. 274 00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:47,693 Find anything? 275 00:14:47,693 --> 00:14:49,194 Gardner Vance, 41, 276 00:14:49,694 --> 00:14:51,195 graduated Harvard Business School, 277 00:14:51,295 --> 00:14:54,699 started as a copywriter for D.B.D. and O. in New York, 278 00:14:54,699 --> 00:14:57,701 then Junior Ad Exec at I. and R. in Chicago, 279 00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:01,204 partner at W.J. in L.A. 280 00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,405 What about you? 281 00:15:02,405 --> 00:15:03,406 What did you find? 282 00:15:03,907 --> 00:15:05,908 Uh, mostly the same as you, 283 00:15:05,908 --> 00:15:08,410 plus a feature article they did on him 284 00:15:08,410 --> 00:15:12,313 in one of the Chicago papers. 285 00:15:12,814 --> 00:15:13,715 Divorced twice. 286 00:15:13,715 --> 00:15:14,716 Boxing fanatic. 287 00:15:14,716 --> 00:15:16,718 Wow! Straight guys. 288 00:15:16,918 --> 00:15:17,919 Well, there's an interesting quote though. 289 00:15:18,419 --> 00:15:21,222 I circled it. 290 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:25,225 "When asked if there was an account he'd never been able to land, 291 00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:28,227 Vance said, 'Yeah... 292 00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:39,237 Brown Athletics.'" 293 00:15:39,237 --> 00:15:40,739 Where are you going? 294 00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:42,740 To see a few of my hottest tricks. 295 00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:44,241 You're going to the baths now? 296 00:15:44,241 --> 00:15:47,846 You're going to fuck us both out of a job. 297 00:15:49,846 --> 00:15:52,849 This is the filthiest... 298 00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:57,953 the sleaziest, the most disgusting motel room I've ever seen. 299 00:15:57,953 --> 00:16:00,255 You were expecting the Ritz-Carlton? 300 00:16:00,255 --> 00:16:02,257 Uh-huh. 301 00:16:02,257 --> 00:16:04,258 What? Hey, where are you going? 302 00:16:04,258 --> 00:16:06,260 - Home. - But we just walked in. 303 00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:07,762 And now we're just walking out. 304 00:16:07,762 --> 00:16:10,264 - But we already paid. - By the hour. 305 00:16:10,264 --> 00:16:12,766 What kind of motel has hourly rates? 306 00:16:12,766 --> 00:16:14,768 The kind where you sneak away 307 00:16:14,768 --> 00:16:16,269 for a quickie with some chickie, 308 00:16:16,269 --> 00:16:18,271 and hope your wife doesn't find out. 309 00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:24,777 Take off your coat. Stay a while. 310 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,782 God. 311 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:34,284 But there are stains on the bedspread. 312 00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:36,787 And holes in the carpet and it smells. 313 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,289 I know. 314 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:41,290 Sleazy. Sexy. 315 00:16:41,791 --> 00:16:43,793 Spontaneous. 316 00:16:46,295 --> 00:16:48,797 Can't we be spontaneous some... 317 00:16:48,797 --> 00:16:51,299 some place else like where they change the sheets, 318 00:16:51,499 --> 00:16:54,502 and have room service? 319 00:16:55,003 --> 00:16:57,004 This says they have a complete line of sex toys, 320 00:16:57,004 --> 00:17:00,507 including 31 flavours of lubricant at the front desk. 321 00:17:01,008 --> 00:17:02,509 Take your pick. 322 00:17:03,509 --> 00:17:07,513 Oh God. 323 00:17:13,018 --> 00:17:17,522 Come on. 324 00:17:31,034 --> 00:17:33,549 That's a good girl. 325 00:17:51,952 --> 00:17:58,758 Jesus Christ! 326 00:17:58,758 --> 00:18:01,761 I gotta call the manager. 327 00:18:01,761 --> 00:18:04,262 It's not the Ritz-Carlton. 328 00:18:04,763 --> 00:18:05,764 Why don't we put the TV on? 329 00:18:05,764 --> 00:18:10,768 Maybe it'll drown them out. 330 00:18:11,268 --> 00:18:13,774 What else is on? 331 00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:19,275 Oh no, it's not... 332 00:18:19,776 --> 00:18:21,277 Those things aren't real, are they? 333 00:18:21,778 --> 00:18:23,279 - I think mine are bigger. - I hope not. 334 00:18:29,785 --> 00:18:31,787 ...invented in Beijing, as the Chinese... 335 00:18:31,787 --> 00:18:35,289 It's my favourite cooking show. 336 00:18:35,289 --> 00:18:37,291 He's preparing Mandarin duck. 337 00:18:37,792 --> 00:18:39,293 I've always wanted to know how to make that. 338 00:18:39,293 --> 00:18:40,794 ...this is an air pump, 339 00:18:40,794 --> 00:18:42,295 it's actually going to pump air into it, 340 00:18:42,796 --> 00:18:44,798 - separates the skin from the meat. - Thanks. 341 00:18:44,798 --> 00:18:48,801 And that's the secret of rendering off the fat. Once it's separated... 342 00:18:48,801 --> 00:18:50,803 Hey, Emmett. 343 00:18:50,803 --> 00:18:52,805 Hi, George. 344 00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:56,307 I miss you. 345 00:18:56,307 --> 00:18:58,309 I miss you too. 346 00:18:58,309 --> 00:19:01,813 Now you mustn't cry. 347 00:19:01,813 --> 00:19:03,313 I'll try not to. 348 00:19:03,313 --> 00:19:05,315 Let me see you smile now. 349 00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:08,018 I don't know if I can. 350 00:19:08,018 --> 00:19:12,621 Emmett, now come on. You can do better than that. 351 00:19:12,621 --> 00:19:14,123 That's better. 352 00:19:14,123 --> 00:19:18,126 Well, did you receive my little gift? 353 00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:19,627 "Little"? 354 00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:21,129 God, I couldn't believe it. 355 00:19:21,129 --> 00:19:22,030 Neither could we. 356 00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:24,531 See, you... you always say... 357 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,233 "Fuck 'em all." 358 00:19:26,734 --> 00:19:31,238 Well, to do that you've got to have "Fuck 'em all" money. 359 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,740 Well, what am I supposed to do with it? 360 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,041 Whatever you want. 361 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,643 Whatever makes you happy. 362 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,145 You made me happy. 363 00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:42,647 You too. 364 00:19:42,647 --> 00:19:44,149 More than you'll know. 365 00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:47,051 10 mil's a pretty clear indication. 366 00:19:47,551 --> 00:19:49,553 Well, I... 367 00:19:49,553 --> 00:19:52,056 I guess this is it. 368 00:19:52,056 --> 00:19:54,557 You're off on your adventure... 369 00:19:55,058 --> 00:20:14,976 I'm off on mine. 370 00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:21,481 I need these in three hours. 371 00:20:21,982 --> 00:20:25,584 I'm not fotomat. 372 00:20:25,584 --> 00:20:26,585 I'll try. 373 00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:32,891 That's good. 374 00:20:37,896 --> 00:20:39,396 Dip in here. 375 00:20:41,398 --> 00:20:42,399 Thank you. 376 00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:51,207 Good. 377 00:20:56,912 --> 00:20:57,712 Beautiful. 378 00:20:57,712 --> 00:20:59,214 Good. Good. 379 00:21:05,319 --> 00:21:06,320 Yeah, good... 380 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,322 Got your airline ticket. 381 00:21:08,322 --> 00:21:12,225 But I don't think you'll be needing it. 382 00:21:12,225 --> 00:21:13,726 I called Brown's office. 383 00:21:13,726 --> 00:21:16,228 They said he doesn't accept unsolicited pictures. 384 00:21:16,228 --> 00:21:19,231 Turn around... yeah, yeah. Good. 385 00:21:19,231 --> 00:21:20,732 Do you want me to cancel? 386 00:21:25,236 --> 00:21:26,537 Ta-da. 387 00:21:26,537 --> 00:21:28,739 Oh, Emmett. 388 00:21:28,739 --> 00:21:31,241 You can't do this. 389 00:21:31,241 --> 00:21:33,243 Oh, God. 390 00:21:33,243 --> 00:21:35,745 People don't get their friends a car. 391 00:21:35,745 --> 00:21:37,647 Unless you're a game show host. 392 00:21:37,647 --> 00:21:39,148 Oh, it's not just a car. 393 00:21:39,148 --> 00:21:40,649 It's a Subaru SUV. 394 00:21:43,652 --> 00:21:45,154 I read in a recent survey, 395 00:21:45,154 --> 00:21:46,654 it's the number one choice among lesbians. 396 00:21:46,654 --> 00:21:48,656 I'm sure Mr. Subaru would be thrilled. 397 00:21:49,157 --> 00:21:51,359 Um... 398 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:54,862 Justin, this is for you. 399 00:21:55,362 --> 00:21:56,353 A trip to Italy? 400 00:21:56,363 --> 00:21:57,464 Yeah. 401 00:21:57,464 --> 00:21:58,665 George and I were planning... 402 00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:00,666 But never mind. 403 00:22:00,666 --> 00:22:03,169 You're going, as artists have for centuries, 404 00:22:03,169 --> 00:22:06,272 to the Eternal City, to Florence, to Venice. 405 00:22:06,272 --> 00:22:08,773 It is there that you will discover your soul. 406 00:22:09,274 --> 00:22:11,877 And see lots of statues of naked men too. 407 00:22:11,877 --> 00:22:12,878 Thanks, Em. 408 00:22:14,379 --> 00:22:15,880 And, um, when you and Brian are in Milan, 409 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,382 he can use this. 410 00:22:18,382 --> 00:22:19,783 It's a gift certificate 411 00:22:19,783 --> 00:22:21,785 to, uh, Armani for the fall collection. 412 00:22:21,785 --> 00:22:22,986 Oh, he'll love a new suit. 413 00:22:22,986 --> 00:22:24,487 The entire collection. 414 00:22:26,489 --> 00:22:27,590 He'll never wonder what to wear again. 415 00:22:29,092 --> 00:22:31,093 And, Debbie, 416 00:22:31,193 --> 00:22:33,695 for you. 417 00:22:33,695 --> 00:22:35,697 Oh shit, you're gonna make me cry. 418 00:22:35,697 --> 00:22:36,698 No. 419 00:22:36,698 --> 00:22:38,199 Oh my God. 420 00:22:38,199 --> 00:22:40,201 Oh, ma. 421 00:22:40,201 --> 00:22:41,702 Oh... 422 00:22:41,702 --> 00:22:44,205 No, Emmett, no. I couldn't. 423 00:22:44,205 --> 00:22:45,205 Yeah. 424 00:22:45,205 --> 00:22:48,208 Now when you are slinging that hash, 425 00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:52,711 everyone will think you're a princess. 426 00:22:52,711 --> 00:22:56,415 Thank you. 427 00:22:56,916 --> 00:23:03,922 Michael. 428 00:23:03,922 --> 00:23:06,925 Jesus, Em... 429 00:23:06,925 --> 00:23:08,425 He paid the mortgage on... 430 00:23:08,425 --> 00:23:10,427 on my comic book store for the next five years. 431 00:23:10,427 --> 00:23:12,429 Oh, honey. 432 00:23:12,930 --> 00:23:14,431 You just changed my life. 433 00:23:17,934 --> 00:23:18,935 Oh. 434 00:23:18,935 --> 00:23:21,938 Guess there's nothing in the bag for me. 435 00:23:28,443 --> 00:23:30,945 Well, the one present i really wanted to get you, I couldn't: 436 00:23:30,945 --> 00:23:33,447 someone wonderful to spend your life with. 437 00:23:33,447 --> 00:23:35,950 Ah... well, there's always a golden retriever. 438 00:23:43,356 --> 00:23:46,858 Lifetime orchestra seat at the opera. 439 00:23:46,858 --> 00:23:48,860 Two lifetime seats, 440 00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:51,862 'cause I know you'll find that someone. 441 00:23:51,862 --> 00:23:55,866 Thank you... 442 00:23:58,869 --> 00:23:59,869 What about yourself, Emmett? 443 00:23:59,869 --> 00:24:02,372 I hope you got yourself something. 444 00:24:02,472 --> 00:24:03,974 Oh, no. No. 445 00:24:03,974 --> 00:24:06,976 It's much better to give than to receive... 446 00:24:07,476 --> 00:24:08,477 except in bed. 447 00:24:10,479 --> 00:24:12,481 However there was a little something 448 00:24:12,481 --> 00:24:14,983 that did catch my eye. 449 00:24:14,983 --> 00:24:15,984 Here we go. 450 00:24:15,984 --> 00:24:16,985 Now I start to worry. 451 00:24:16,985 --> 00:24:20,488 George wanted it to be "Fuck 'em all" money. 452 00:24:22,789 --> 00:24:25,792 Well, Georgie, they'll hear me in this. 453 00:24:43,608 --> 00:24:45,109 Hey! 454 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:47,111 I was just on my way to the kitchen 455 00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:49,113 to make myself a sandwich. 456 00:24:49,113 --> 00:24:54,617 Come share mine. Come on. 457 00:24:54,617 --> 00:24:56,619 I didn't expect you to be here. 458 00:24:56,619 --> 00:24:59,121 I figured you'd be out painting the town red or... 459 00:24:59,121 --> 00:25:03,125 whatever colour they paint towns these days. 460 00:25:03,125 --> 00:25:05,127 All the hot gals are home with their wives, 461 00:25:05,127 --> 00:25:07,128 getting it on. 462 00:25:07,628 --> 00:25:08,629 How about you guys? 463 00:25:08,629 --> 00:25:11,132 We tried going to a motel. 464 00:25:11,132 --> 00:25:12,633 No shit. 465 00:25:12,633 --> 00:25:14,134 Did they hear you screaming through the walls? 466 00:25:14,134 --> 00:25:15,635 That was someone else. 467 00:25:16,136 --> 00:25:18,638 We were the ones watching the cooking show. 468 00:25:18,638 --> 00:25:20,440 Well, if I'd been there, I'd have pinned you both to the bed 469 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:21,940 and done the dozen-dozen, 470 00:25:21,940 --> 00:25:23,442 12 orgasms in 12 different positions. 471 00:25:25,844 --> 00:25:27,346 You okay? 472 00:25:27,346 --> 00:25:28,846 Just went down the wrong way. 473 00:25:28,846 --> 00:25:30,348 Christ, you're tight. 474 00:25:30,848 --> 00:25:32,850 Honey, you need to loosen up. 475 00:25:32,850 --> 00:25:34,352 - Lie down. - No, no, no, no. 476 00:25:34,352 --> 00:25:35,852 - No, no. - It's okay. It's okay. 477 00:25:35,852 --> 00:25:37,354 No, no, I'm just going to rub your shoulders. 478 00:25:37,354 --> 00:25:38,855 Yeah. 479 00:25:39,356 --> 00:25:44,360 Come on. Come on. 480 00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:46,362 I'll get all the stress worked out, um... 481 00:25:46,362 --> 00:25:47,863 and then you 482 00:25:47,863 --> 00:25:53,068 and the missus can spontaneously combust. 483 00:25:53,068 --> 00:25:56,571 You know what you need? 484 00:25:56,571 --> 00:25:59,073 Shiatsu. 485 00:25:59,073 --> 00:26:03,077 Or even better... 486 00:26:03,077 --> 00:26:09,082 tantric. 487 00:26:09,082 --> 00:26:12,085 Have you ever had a deep rectal massage? 488 00:26:12,585 --> 00:26:14,086 Not recently. 489 00:26:14,086 --> 00:26:16,088 You have no idea how much tension 490 00:26:16,588 --> 00:26:19,091 people carry in their sphincters. 491 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:32,202 Emmett got everyone the coolest stuff. 492 00:26:32,702 --> 00:26:33,703 He got cars, trips. 493 00:26:33,703 --> 00:26:36,205 He even gave debbie a diamond bracelet. 494 00:26:36,205 --> 00:26:37,706 I really have to hand it to him. 495 00:26:38,207 --> 00:26:39,708 He must have given George one hell of a blow job. 496 00:26:39,708 --> 00:26:41,710 Have you seen my Prada tie? 497 00:26:41,710 --> 00:26:44,712 Fuck the tie. He got you the entire Armani fall collection. 498 00:26:45,213 --> 00:26:47,014 Yeah well, what am I supposed to wear until then? 499 00:26:47,014 --> 00:26:48,516 He got me a trip to Italy. 500 00:26:49,016 --> 00:26:50,517 To see all the masters. 501 00:26:50,617 --> 00:26:53,620 Yeah, I heard they have a big S and M scene there. 502 00:26:53,620 --> 00:26:56,723 Why are you bringing a tie to go snowboarding? 503 00:26:57,224 --> 00:26:59,725 Uh, I'm not going snowboarding. 504 00:27:00,226 --> 00:27:01,427 I'm going to Chicago. 505 00:27:01,427 --> 00:27:02,928 Chicago? 506 00:27:03,429 --> 00:27:04,430 What the hell's in Chicago? 507 00:27:04,430 --> 00:27:06,631 My new account. 508 00:27:06,631 --> 00:27:09,634 But we're going to Vermont tomorrow. 509 00:27:09,634 --> 00:27:14,238 - Some other time. - Come on, you promised. 510 00:27:14,238 --> 00:27:18,242 - It's business. - Fuck business. 511 00:27:18,242 --> 00:27:21,244 That's exactly who you're fucking. 512 00:27:21,244 --> 00:27:24,247 it's business. It's my business. 513 00:27:24,747 --> 00:27:26,749 It pays for this loft. 514 00:27:26,749 --> 00:27:28,750 It pays for snowboarding in Vermont. 515 00:27:29,251 --> 00:27:31,753 It pays for the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts. 516 00:27:31,953 --> 00:27:34,456 Now, if I don't get on that plane, 517 00:27:34,456 --> 00:27:36,457 I'm going to be collecting unemployment 518 00:27:36,457 --> 00:27:39,777 in my fucking Armani fall collection. 519 00:27:59,777 --> 00:28:03,281 Hey, sweets. What do you think? 520 00:28:03,281 --> 00:28:05,782 Looks great. 521 00:28:05,782 --> 00:28:08,285 Lindsay's all hepped too. 522 00:28:08,285 --> 00:28:10,287 You've done an amazing job. 523 00:28:10,287 --> 00:28:11,787 Hmm, thanks. 524 00:28:11,787 --> 00:28:13,789 Whoa, careful. 525 00:28:15,191 --> 00:28:18,694 She and I are eternally grateful. 526 00:28:18,694 --> 00:28:21,396 - Anything for you guys, you know that. - But you know, 527 00:28:21,396 --> 00:28:24,799 it's not fair asking you to do all this by yourself. 528 00:28:24,799 --> 00:28:26,100 - I'm loving it. - No. 529 00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:28,101 Really, I mean, it's too big a job. 530 00:28:28,602 --> 00:28:31,104 We can find a carpenter or a handyman 531 00:28:31,605 --> 00:28:34,106 to come in and finish it up. 532 00:28:34,106 --> 00:28:36,108 Sugar, there's no handyman or woman 533 00:28:36,108 --> 00:28:37,910 handier than me. 534 00:28:37,910 --> 00:28:41,314 I know all about your handiwork. 535 00:28:41,314 --> 00:28:43,615 Like the job you were doing on Lindsay last night. 536 00:28:43,615 --> 00:28:45,617 That was just a friendly little massage. 537 00:28:45,617 --> 00:28:48,119 Oh well... 538 00:28:48,119 --> 00:28:50,621 it looked more than a little friendly to me. 539 00:28:50,621 --> 00:28:54,825 Jesus, what's with the jealous wife routine? 540 00:28:54,825 --> 00:28:56,326 I massage her and she fucking falls asleep. 541 00:28:56,326 --> 00:28:58,328 You rub her and she purrs. 542 00:28:58,428 --> 00:29:00,930 Oh, so now I'm to blame for your lesbian bed death. 543 00:29:00,930 --> 00:29:03,132 All I know is everything was fine before you moved in. 544 00:29:03,632 --> 00:29:04,733 Who the hell invited me? 545 00:29:05,033 --> 00:29:07,035 I did. 546 00:29:07,035 --> 00:29:10,944 And... now I'm asking you to leave. 547 00:29:16,944 --> 00:29:19,746 - You want some? - Not hungry. 548 00:29:19,746 --> 00:29:21,748 What are you trying to do? Starve yourself to death? 549 00:29:21,748 --> 00:29:23,250 Huh, you sound just like Deb. 550 00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:26,151 I wonder how that happened. 551 00:29:26,151 --> 00:29:29,655 Come on. Eat. 552 00:29:29,655 --> 00:29:31,257 You want to hear my secret fantasy? 553 00:29:31,257 --> 00:29:34,659 I don't generally like discussing kink on an empty stomach. 554 00:29:34,659 --> 00:29:36,661 To see Rage on a cereal box, 555 00:29:37,161 --> 00:29:38,463 preferably froot loops. 556 00:29:38,463 --> 00:29:40,764 A little action figure inside. 557 00:29:40,764 --> 00:29:42,165 Collect all three. 558 00:29:42,165 --> 00:29:44,268 Could happen. Anything's possible. 559 00:29:44,268 --> 00:29:46,770 Except Brian and I actually spending any time together. 560 00:29:46,770 --> 00:29:48,571 I'm sure he would have rather gone with you. 561 00:29:48,571 --> 00:29:50,172 He had no choice. 562 00:29:50,172 --> 00:29:51,774 Do you always defend him? 563 00:29:51,774 --> 00:29:53,776 Look, if he doesn't make it now, he never will. 564 00:29:54,176 --> 00:29:55,177 He's already made it. 565 00:29:55,478 --> 00:29:57,479 He has money, success, a killer loft. 566 00:29:57,479 --> 00:29:59,681 - What else does he want? - To be the best. 567 00:29:59,681 --> 00:30:02,183 If he gets this account, he'll be a star. 568 00:30:02,183 --> 00:30:04,184 And if he doesn't, he's out of a job. 569 00:30:04,184 --> 00:30:06,687 It won't be that easy starting over at a new firm. 570 00:30:06,687 --> 00:30:09,189 You know, with all... all these new guys, 571 00:30:09,189 --> 00:30:11,090 younger guys, coming up all the time. 572 00:30:11,090 --> 00:30:13,092 So what about me? 573 00:30:13,593 --> 00:30:18,196 Where do I fit in? 574 00:30:18,697 --> 00:30:22,701 I don't want to wait. 575 00:30:22,701 --> 00:30:25,703 I want a boyfriend who only wants to be with me, 576 00:30:25,703 --> 00:30:29,206 who wants to stay home every once in a while. 577 00:30:29,206 --> 00:30:32,009 Who at least gets jealous when some other guy's sucking my dick 578 00:30:32,019 --> 00:30:33,710 right in front of him. 579 00:30:34,210 --> 00:30:36,212 That's not Brian. 580 00:30:36,212 --> 00:30:38,617 It never will be. 581 00:30:41,617 --> 00:30:43,118 I'm sorry, Mr. Kinney, 582 00:30:43,118 --> 00:30:44,620 but we left word with your assistant 583 00:30:44,620 --> 00:30:47,122 that Mr. Brown wasn't interested in meeting with you. 584 00:30:47,122 --> 00:30:49,624 Tell him I flew all the way from Pittsburgh just to see him. 585 00:30:50,124 --> 00:30:52,126 Unfortunately, he's in a closed door meeting 586 00:30:52,126 --> 00:30:53,628 and can't be disturbed. 587 00:30:53,628 --> 00:30:55,128 I'll wait. 588 00:30:55,128 --> 00:30:59,633 His day is booked solid. 589 00:30:59,633 --> 00:31:01,134 You know, I'm sure if he saw my presentation... 590 00:31:01,134 --> 00:31:03,135 Look, I'm trying to tell you that you're wasting your time. 591 00:31:03,135 --> 00:31:05,638 No. You're wasting his time. 592 00:31:05,638 --> 00:31:08,140 Because the sooner you get me in to see him, 593 00:31:08,140 --> 00:31:11,148 the sooner I can show him these. 594 00:31:18,048 --> 00:31:19,049 Interesting. 595 00:31:19,550 --> 00:31:22,252 I can see you're impressed. 596 00:31:22,252 --> 00:31:26,756 Maybe you'd like a copy for yourself. 597 00:31:36,264 --> 00:31:38,767 Mr. Brown... uh... 598 00:31:39,267 --> 00:31:40,568 eats lunch... 599 00:31:40,568 --> 00:31:42,970 Harvard Club. 600 00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:08,092 Who the hell are you? 601 00:32:08,092 --> 00:32:10,594 Brian Kinney, Vangard Advertising. 602 00:32:10,594 --> 00:32:12,596 Your assistant said I'd find you here. 603 00:32:12,596 --> 00:32:14,598 I told him to tell you I wasn't interested. 604 00:32:15,098 --> 00:32:17,099 Really. Wonder what got into him. 605 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,201 Herman, will you kindly show this gentleman out? 606 00:32:19,201 --> 00:32:22,705 Herman, would you kindly bring us a bottle of Dom? 607 00:32:22,705 --> 00:32:25,707 On Vangard, of course. We're celebrating, 608 00:32:25,707 --> 00:32:27,208 Brown Athletics' new ad campaign. 609 00:32:33,213 --> 00:32:35,215 If you're here to convince me to be more hip, 610 00:32:35,215 --> 00:32:36,517 you're wasting your time. 611 00:32:36,517 --> 00:32:38,018 I'll be damned if I'll make a pair of sneakers 612 00:32:38,018 --> 00:32:39,619 that light up when you bounce. 613 00:32:39,619 --> 00:32:41,621 Leave trendiness to the other guys. 614 00:32:41,621 --> 00:32:43,122 What you sell 615 00:32:43,122 --> 00:32:45,625 is good old American tradition, but... 616 00:32:45,625 --> 00:32:47,626 you need something... 617 00:32:47,626 --> 00:32:50,429 with more heat. 618 00:32:50,429 --> 00:32:51,430 Young man, there is no heat 619 00:32:51,930 --> 00:32:53,432 in baseball caps and windbreakers. 620 00:32:53,432 --> 00:32:55,132 You're right, there's not. 621 00:32:55,132 --> 00:33:00,741 But it's my job to make people think that there is. 622 00:33:04,741 --> 00:33:07,243 - "The one thing to wear". - We run these 623 00:33:07,243 --> 00:33:09,144 in all the top-end magazines. 624 00:33:09,144 --> 00:33:10,646 "Vanity Fair", "Esquire" "GQ". 625 00:33:11,146 --> 00:33:12,147 We appeal to women 626 00:33:12,147 --> 00:33:15,851 because they do most of the spending, and... 627 00:33:15,851 --> 00:33:18,860 to the new gay market. 628 00:33:27,260 --> 00:33:29,763 Herman, would you bring me a steak, 629 00:33:29,763 --> 00:33:37,670 - medium-rare? - Yes, sir. 630 00:33:38,170 --> 00:33:40,161 Notice how I call attention to it 631 00:33:40,171 --> 00:33:42,273 without calling attention to it? 632 00:33:42,273 --> 00:33:43,775 It's called class. 633 00:33:43,775 --> 00:33:44,776 Got any ice? 634 00:33:44,776 --> 00:33:45,777 What do you call this? 635 00:33:45,777 --> 00:33:47,277 For my water. 636 00:33:48,278 --> 00:33:50,280 Comin' right up. 637 00:33:50,781 --> 00:33:52,282 Hey, Mr. Moneybags. 638 00:33:52,282 --> 00:33:53,583 What can I get for you? 639 00:33:54,083 --> 00:33:55,084 A doughnut, please. 640 00:33:55,585 --> 00:33:57,186 You got it. 641 00:33:57,186 --> 00:33:58,187 Been shopping? 642 00:33:58,187 --> 00:33:59,689 Of course he has. 643 00:33:59,689 --> 00:34:00,689 What else does a faggot of leisure 644 00:34:00,699 --> 00:34:02,190 have to do all day except shop? 645 00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:04,793 Too many people, too tiring, too cold. 646 00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:05,694 And complain? 647 00:34:07,195 --> 00:34:09,196 Well, there were a few interesting sales, 648 00:34:09,196 --> 00:34:11,699 but, um, but then I realized I don't need to buy on sale any more 649 00:34:11,699 --> 00:34:13,701 and it all suddenly seemed so empty. 650 00:34:14,702 --> 00:34:16,703 One queer doughnut on the house. 651 00:34:16,703 --> 00:34:18,404 Thanks, Deb. 652 00:34:18,404 --> 00:34:20,406 So I, uh, I began to think. 653 00:34:20,406 --> 00:34:22,208 Always a dangerous sign. 654 00:34:22,308 --> 00:34:23,308 I've inherited, you know, 655 00:34:23,308 --> 00:34:25,811 more than, uh, vast sums of money. 656 00:34:25,811 --> 00:34:28,313 I've inherited responsibility. 657 00:34:28,313 --> 00:34:30,305 I mean, I bought presents for everyone 658 00:34:30,315 --> 00:34:32,817 except for the one person who made it possible. 659 00:34:32,817 --> 00:34:35,520 George. 660 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,921 Em, George is dead. 661 00:34:37,921 --> 00:34:38,922 I know. 662 00:34:38,922 --> 00:34:40,423 I mean, I know I can't buy him, 663 00:34:40,423 --> 00:34:42,425 you know, a car or a watch, but, uh... 664 00:34:42,926 --> 00:34:44,528 I can honour his memory. 665 00:34:45,028 --> 00:34:47,029 Well, he's already got lots of things to honour his memory. 666 00:34:47,029 --> 00:34:47,930 A concert hall. 667 00:34:48,330 --> 00:34:49,331 And a pickle. 668 00:34:49,331 --> 00:34:51,333 I was thinking, uh, more along the lines 669 00:34:51,333 --> 00:34:59,741 of the George Schickel Home for Gay and Lesbian Youth. 670 00:34:59,741 --> 00:35:01,341 George sure knew what he was doing 671 00:35:01,341 --> 00:35:04,947 when he gave that money to you, honey. 672 00:35:06,947 --> 00:35:08,447 Hello. 673 00:35:08,447 --> 00:35:09,949 Get you anything? 674 00:35:09,949 --> 00:35:10,950 Emmett Honeycutt? 675 00:35:11,450 --> 00:35:13,052 I'm Emmett Honeycutt, 676 00:35:13,052 --> 00:35:14,554 but I'm not on the menu. 677 00:35:14,554 --> 00:35:21,560 This is for you. 678 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:22,860 What is it? 679 00:35:22,860 --> 00:35:24,862 Something about the Schickel estate. 680 00:35:25,362 --> 00:35:28,365 Let me see that. 681 00:35:28,365 --> 00:35:30,867 Yada-yada... "to inform you that... 682 00:35:30,867 --> 00:35:32,869 yada-yada... 683 00:35:33,069 --> 00:35:34,070 Yada-yada what? 684 00:35:36,172 --> 00:35:39,174 The Schickel family... 685 00:35:39,174 --> 00:35:43,178 is contesting Emmett's inheritance. 686 00:35:43,178 --> 00:35:45,479 But... 687 00:35:45,479 --> 00:35:47,982 They can't do that. He... he left it to me. 688 00:35:47,982 --> 00:35:50,384 Well, apparently they think he should've left it to them. 689 00:35:50,384 --> 00:35:53,186 They've frozen your account. 690 00:35:53,687 --> 00:35:55,188 Well, what does that mean? 691 00:35:55,589 --> 00:35:56,590 It means maybe you shouldn't have... 692 00:35:56,590 --> 00:36:00,794 passed up those sales quite so quickly. 693 00:36:01,794 --> 00:36:03,796 You told her to leave without even asking me? 694 00:36:03,796 --> 00:36:05,798 You never wanted her here in the first place. 695 00:36:05,798 --> 00:36:07,298 Well, I like that she's here now. 696 00:36:07,298 --> 00:36:08,800 - I bet you do. - She's doing an amazing job. 697 00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:10,802 - And not just in the attic. - Excuse me? 698 00:36:10,802 --> 00:36:12,303 All this time I'm thinking 699 00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:13,805 the reason that we're not feeling very sexual 700 00:36:14,305 --> 00:36:15,806 is because we're too tired, 701 00:36:15,806 --> 00:36:17,808 that we have too much on our minds. I didn't realize 702 00:36:18,008 --> 00:36:19,009 what you have on your mind was her. 703 00:36:19,309 --> 00:36:20,811 - Well, that's ridiculous. - Oh, God, 704 00:36:21,111 --> 00:36:22,111 don't lie to me. 705 00:36:22,111 --> 00:36:23,112 I've lived with you for seven years. 706 00:36:23,112 --> 00:36:25,915 I know you. 707 00:36:25,915 --> 00:36:28,918 So maybe I do find her... 708 00:36:28,918 --> 00:36:34,522 attractive. 709 00:36:34,522 --> 00:36:35,523 What about you? 710 00:36:35,523 --> 00:36:38,325 Me? That was years ago. 711 00:36:38,826 --> 00:36:39,426 Now who's lying? 712 00:36:39,927 --> 00:36:41,528 Oh... 713 00:36:41,528 --> 00:36:43,631 the minute she came zooming back into your life, 714 00:36:43,631 --> 00:36:45,631 - you couldn't wait to jump on the back of her motorcycle. - All right. 715 00:36:45,632 --> 00:36:47,637 So she's hot. So what? 716 00:36:50,637 --> 00:36:53,638 You know, you two ought to have someone soundproof the boudoir. 717 00:36:53,649 --> 00:36:54,640 You can hear every word. 718 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:55,643 Christ! 719 00:36:58,143 --> 00:37:01,555 Just wanted to say that I'm sorry for any grief. 720 00:37:12,555 --> 00:37:13,662 Hey, Leda. 721 00:37:20,462 --> 00:37:23,966 I... I feel like we've been friends for too long. 722 00:37:24,966 --> 00:37:27,375 We don't want you to leave like this. 723 00:37:36,375 --> 00:37:38,379 You're right. 724 00:37:40,379 --> 00:37:42,305 It's bullshit. 725 00:39:00,448 --> 00:39:02,951 $1,200 for lunch? 726 00:39:02,951 --> 00:39:05,452 What the hell were you doing in Chicago? 727 00:39:07,855 --> 00:39:10,858 Say hello to our latest client, 728 00:39:10,858 --> 00:39:12,359 Leo Brown. 729 00:39:12,359 --> 00:39:15,361 Hello? 730 00:39:15,862 --> 00:39:17,363 Mr. Brown? 731 00:39:17,363 --> 00:39:19,565 Gardner Vance. 732 00:39:19,565 --> 00:39:23,568 I just wanted to welcome you aboard, sir. 733 00:39:23,568 --> 00:39:26,071 Oh yes. He... 734 00:39:26,071 --> 00:39:27,571 He... he certainly is. 735 00:39:27,571 --> 00:39:29,573 Yes. 736 00:39:29,573 --> 00:39:31,075 Absolutely. 737 00:39:31,075 --> 00:39:35,578 I will, sir. Thank you. 738 00:39:35,578 --> 00:39:38,581 He sends his regards. 739 00:39:38,581 --> 00:39:40,784 Uh, how... I've been after him for years. 740 00:39:40,784 --> 00:39:42,785 How did you manage that? 741 00:39:43,285 --> 00:39:46,789 Did my homework. 742 00:39:46,789 --> 00:39:49,791 Well, I suppose this calls for a Cohiba. 743 00:39:49,791 --> 00:39:51,692 I think it calls for more than that. 744 00:39:51,692 --> 00:39:54,695 Brown signed a two-year commitment based on... 745 00:39:54,695 --> 00:39:57,197 one contingency. 746 00:39:57,197 --> 00:40:00,604 What's that? 747 00:40:05,604 --> 00:40:08,607 Hey, Sunshine! 748 00:40:08,607 --> 00:40:11,610 Come congratulate me. 749 00:40:11,610 --> 00:40:14,312 Your partner just... 750 00:40:14,312 --> 00:40:16,321 made partner. 751 00:40:24,321 --> 00:40:26,823 Oh, hey, can you loan me a 10? 752 00:40:26,823 --> 00:40:29,328 How the mighty have fallen. 753 00:40:32,328 --> 00:40:34,830 There you go. 754 00:40:34,830 --> 00:40:36,331 Look who it is. 755 00:40:36,331 --> 00:40:37,833 Ah... hiya, stranger. 756 00:40:37,833 --> 00:40:39,835 Ah, the face looks familiar... 757 00:40:39,835 --> 00:40:40,836 Shut the fuck up. 758 00:40:40,836 --> 00:40:43,838 Unfortunately the voice sounds the same. 759 00:40:43,838 --> 00:40:45,239 When did you get back? 760 00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,241 A few hours ago. 761 00:40:47,241 --> 00:40:48,242 Where's Justin? 762 00:40:50,643 --> 00:40:51,644 He's not here. 763 00:40:51,644 --> 00:40:56,049 Where is he? I've got big news. 764 00:40:56,548 --> 00:40:57,549 He went to Vermont. 765 00:40:59,051 --> 00:41:03,055 Snowboarding. 766 00:41:03,055 --> 00:41:05,056 Alone? 767 00:41:05,556 --> 00:41:10,061 Alone. 768 00:41:10,061 --> 00:41:12,965 - So, uh, what's the big news? - Yeah. 769 00:41:13,965 --> 00:41:16,565 Nothing.