1
00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:19,567
SO WHEN I'M NOT VOLUNTEERING
AT THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL,

2
00:00:19,670 --> 00:00:21,136
I'M TRAVELING
AROUND THE WORLD,

3
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:23,472
CRUSADING FOR ANIMAL RIGHTS
AND WORLD PEACE.

4
00:00:23,575 --> 00:00:26,710
( Stripperella thinking )
HE'S SO PERFECT AND HANDSOME.

5
00:00:26,812 --> 00:00:28,845
DON'T SAY ANYTHING STUPID,
DON'T SAY ANYTHING STUPID.

6
00:00:28,947 --> 00:00:30,515
I LIKE LETTUCE.

7
00:00:30,617 --> 00:00:34,619
LETTUCE IS... NICE.

8
00:00:34,721 --> 00:00:36,989
OH !

9
00:00:38,559 --> 00:00:41,694
OOH, I'M SORRY,
I'M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS.

10
00:00:41,797 --> 00:00:44,265
I DON'T GET TO DATE MUCH,
STRIPPER'S HOURS.

11
00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:46,668
IT'S GREAT YOU'RE SO HONEST
ABOUT WHAT YOU DO.

12
00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:49,037
I'VE DATED GIRLS IN THE PAST
WHO KEPT A LOT OF SECRETS.

13
00:00:49,139 --> 00:00:51,840
IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THEY
WERE LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE.

14
00:00:51,942 --> 00:00:54,344
OH, REALLY ?

15
00:00:56,714 --> 00:00:58,048
THIS IS A ROBBERY !

16
00:00:58,150 --> 00:01:00,551
YOU, GET ME ALL THE MONEY
FROM THE REGISTER.

17
00:01:00,653 --> 00:01:03,221
AND YOU, GET ME
THE CHICKEN CORDON BLEU

18
00:01:03,323 --> 00:01:05,690
AND THE CAESAR SALAD,
NO CROUTONS.

19
00:01:05,792 --> 00:01:07,626
AND IF I COULD GET
THE DRESSING ON THE SIDE,

20
00:01:07,728 --> 00:01:09,895
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

21
00:01:10,498 --> 00:01:11,664
OH, NO !

22
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,299
THE RESTAURANT'S
BEING ROBBED.

23
00:01:13,402 --> 00:01:15,669
EROTICA ?

24
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:16,938
( zipper zipping )

25
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:18,939
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A SIDE
OF ASS-KICKING

26
00:01:19,042 --> 00:01:20,474
TO GO WITH YOUR ROBBERY ?

27
00:01:20,576 --> 00:01:24,279
STRIPPERELLA ?
OH, NO, IT'S A-- TAMPON ?

28
00:01:24,381 --> 00:01:25,749
A TAMPON...

29
00:01:25,851 --> 00:01:27,250
DAGGER !

30
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,592
OH, SHISH !

31
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,195
WHOA !

32
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,768
( screaming )
IT BURNS !

33
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,238
MAKE IT STOP !

34
00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:46,640
OKAY, HA !

35
00:01:50,513 --> 00:01:52,313
THAT OUGHTA HOLD YOU
'TIL THE POLICE ARRIVE.

36
00:01:52,415 --> 00:01:54,717
NOW, I'VE GOT A DATE
TO GET BACK TO.

37
00:01:54,819 --> 00:01:56,585
I MEAN, NO, I DON'T.

38
00:01:58,257 --> 00:01:59,656
( zipper zipping again )

39
00:02:05,032 --> 00:02:07,232
EROTICA, YOU MISSED IT,
THE PLACE WAS ROBBED.

40
00:02:07,334 --> 00:02:09,935
STRIPPERELLA WAS HERE,
WHERE DID YOU GO ?

41
00:02:10,037 --> 00:02:13,573
OH, UH, I HAD TO PUT
MONEY IN THE METER.

42
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,108
BUT WE VALET PARKED.

43
00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:17,411
OH, RIGHT,
NOW, WHERE WERE WE ?

44
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,681
I WAS SAYING HOW GREAT IT IS
THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS SO HONEST.

45
00:02:20,783 --> 00:02:24,052
OH, YEAH, THAT'S ME,
NO SECRETS HERE.

46
00:02:24,154 --> 00:02:25,821
HELP !

47
00:02:25,924 --> 00:02:27,823
IT'S FIRE !
FIRE !

48
00:02:27,925 --> 00:02:29,224
( screaming )

49
00:02:29,327 --> 00:02:32,162
I HAVE TO GO PUT
MORE MONEY IN THE METER !

50
00:02:52,021 --> 00:02:54,690
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

51
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,095
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

52
00:03:04,803 --> 00:03:08,072
( organ playing "Bridal March" )

53
00:03:17,353 --> 00:03:18,552
( people screaming )

54
00:03:18,654 --> 00:03:20,621
HEY, YOU'RE NOT MY BRIDE !

55
00:03:20,723 --> 00:03:23,125
THAT'S RIGHT !
I'M NEVER THE BRIDE !

56
00:03:23,226 --> 00:03:26,728
I'M ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID !

57
00:03:26,830 --> 00:03:27,863
WHAT DO YOU WANT ?

58
00:03:27,966 --> 00:03:29,732
I WANNA GET MARRIED !

59
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,402
BUT IF I CAN'T,
THEN, NO ONE WILL.

60
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:35,606
YOU MAY NOW KISS
THE BRIDESMAID !

61
00:03:37,878 --> 00:03:40,946
AAAHHHHH...

62
00:03:46,087 --> 00:03:48,021
( people screaming )

63
00:03:50,593 --> 00:03:52,859
( man )
AHOY, MATES !

64
00:03:52,961 --> 00:03:56,998
FEAST YOUR GOOD EYE ON
THE GLORIOUS TREASURE CHEST OF

65
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,968
GISELLE !

66
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:01,070
( man whistling )

67
00:04:09,949 --> 00:04:12,384
( screaming )

68
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:14,353
ARRGHH !

69
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,759
OOHHHH !

70
00:04:21,531 --> 00:04:22,830
ARRRH !

71
00:04:29,173 --> 00:04:30,271
OH, I'M GLAD SHE DOESN'T DO

72
00:04:30,375 --> 00:04:33,043
HER CHAINSAW
JUGGLING ROUTINE ANYMORE !

73
00:04:33,145 --> 00:04:34,510
OH, PLEASE BE GAY,
PLEASE BE GAY,

74
00:04:34,612 --> 00:04:36,480
PLEASE BE GAY,
PLEASE BE GAY !

75
00:04:36,582 --> 00:04:38,449
EROTICA ?

76
00:04:38,551 --> 00:04:40,251
JAMES !

77
00:04:43,323 --> 00:04:45,224
WHAT A SURPRISE !

78
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,696
LEONARD, THIS IS THE GUY
I'VE BEEN DATING.

79
00:04:49,798 --> 00:04:51,097
NICE TO MEET YOU.

80
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,232
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

81
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,836
I'M GONNA GO TAKE
A COLD SHOWER.

82
00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:57,405
SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?

83
00:04:57,507 --> 00:04:58,907
I JUST FINISHED
MY POETRY WORKSHOP,

84
00:04:59,010 --> 00:05:00,275
AND I HAVE A FEW MINUTES
TO KILL

85
00:05:00,378 --> 00:05:01,444
BEFORE I GO
TO THE HOMELESS SHELTER

86
00:05:01,546 --> 00:05:02,646
TO HAND OUT FOOD.

87
00:05:02,748 --> 00:05:04,414
SO, I THOUGHT I'D STOP BY
AND SAY HI.

88
00:05:04,516 --> 00:05:06,616
MAYBE TONIGHT WE CAN GET
TOGETHER AT MY PLACE

89
00:05:06,718 --> 00:05:08,052
AND WATCH SOME MOVIES.

90
00:05:08,154 --> 00:05:11,021
AS LONG AS
IT'S A ROMANTIC COMEDY.

91
00:05:12,993 --> 00:05:14,460
( buzzing )

92
00:05:15,295 --> 00:05:16,762
OH, THAT MUST BE MY BELLY--
UH--

93
00:05:16,865 --> 00:05:19,566
THAT'S MY PAGER...
OH, I FORGOT,

94
00:05:19,668 --> 00:05:21,702
I'M SUPPOSED TO DROP OFF TOYS
AT THE ORPHANAGE

95
00:05:21,804 --> 00:05:23,270
ON THE WAY
TO THE HOMELESS SHELTER !

96
00:05:23,373 --> 00:05:24,404
I'D BETTER GO.

97
00:05:24,506 --> 00:05:26,474
I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

98
00:05:29,712 --> 00:05:30,847
WOW !

99
00:05:30,949 --> 00:05:33,049
HE'S CUTER THAN A JUNE BUG
IN A CACKLE BUSH !

100
00:05:33,151 --> 00:05:34,717
HE'S SO ROMANTIC.

101
00:05:34,819 --> 00:05:36,520
I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D MEET ANYONE LIKE HIM.

102
00:05:36,622 --> 00:05:38,756
I JUST WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO LIE
TO HIM ALL THE TIME.

103
00:05:38,858 --> 00:05:40,258
LIE TO HIM ABOUT WHAT ?

104
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:45,230
OH, UH, I TOLD HIM
THAT I USED TO BE A MAN.

105
00:05:45,332 --> 00:05:48,300
OH, YOU SHOULD TELL HIM
THE TRUTH !

106
00:05:48,402 --> 00:05:49,536
HE'LL STILL LIKE YOU,

107
00:05:49,638 --> 00:05:52,505
EVEN IF HE FINDS OUT
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A MAN !

108
00:05:52,607 --> 00:05:54,208
OH, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.

109
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,243
I REALLY THINK
HE MIGHT BE THE ONE.

110
00:05:56,346 --> 00:05:58,012
I THINK I'LL STEAL HIM
FROM YOU.

111
00:05:58,115 --> 00:05:59,014
HUH ?

112
00:05:59,116 --> 00:06:00,816
WHAT ?
I'M A BITCH, REMEMBER ?

113
00:06:00,918 --> 00:06:02,484
OH, YEAH.
RIGHT.

114
00:06:05,189 --> 00:06:07,190
( door opening and closing )

115
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,930
CHIEF STROGANOFF, AGENT 69,
REPORTING FOR DUTY.

116
00:06:12,032 --> 00:06:15,000
UH, CHIEF,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

117
00:06:15,102 --> 00:06:17,537
I'M JUST TAKING
SOME SEXY BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHS

118
00:06:17,639 --> 00:06:19,772
TO SURPRISE THE WIFE WITH
ON VALENTINE'S DAY.

119
00:06:19,874 --> 00:06:21,808
BUT VALENTINE'S DAY
WAS TWO MONTHS AGO.

120
00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:25,412
RIGHT...
THANK GOD I'M NOT MARRIED.

121
00:06:25,514 --> 00:06:27,115
I THINK WE'RE DONE
FOR TODAY, LING.

122
00:06:27,216 --> 00:06:28,750
SEE YOU TOMORROW,
SAME TIME.

123
00:06:28,852 --> 00:06:31,587
SO, WHAT'S GOING ON ?

124
00:06:31,689 --> 00:06:33,188
IT'S NOT WHAT'S GOING ON,

125
00:06:33,290 --> 00:06:34,556
IT'S WHAT'S NOT GOING ON
THAT'S GOING ON.

126
00:06:34,658 --> 00:06:36,726
GROOMS ALL ACROSS THE CITY

127
00:06:36,828 --> 00:06:38,628
HAVE BEEN VANISHING
ON THEIR WEDDING DAY.

128
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:39,864
COLD FEET ?

129
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,399
NO, BUT MY ASS IS FREEZING,
DAMN METAL CHAIR.

130
00:06:42,501 --> 00:06:43,968
I MEAN, THE GROOMS.

131
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,804
MAYBE THEY JUST GOT
PRE-WEDDING JITTERS.

132
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,739
THESE MEN
DIDN'T JUST DISAPPEAR.

133
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,242
THEY WERE ABDUCTED

134
00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:51,777
BY SOMEONE CALLING HERSELF
"THE BRIDESMAID".

135
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,814
UGH !
THAT DRESS IS HIDEOUS !

136
00:06:53,916 --> 00:06:55,515
YES.

137
00:06:55,617 --> 00:06:58,086
POLYESTER IS SO PASSé.

138
00:06:58,188 --> 00:06:59,888
NOW, HERE,
TAKE THESE WEDDING VIDEOS.

139
00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:01,823
THERE MIGHT BE SOME CLUES
IN THERE

140
00:07:01,925 --> 00:07:03,425
TO HELP US FIGURE OUT
WHERE "THE BRIDESMAID"

141
00:07:03,528 --> 00:07:04,894
IS GOING TO
STRIKE NEXT.

142
00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:09,433
( woman crying )

143
00:07:09,535 --> 00:07:12,803
OH, MY BABY BOY
IS GETTING MARRIED !

144
00:07:12,906 --> 00:07:17,509
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY ENTIRE LIFE !

145
00:07:17,612 --> 00:07:19,445
( crowd gasping )

146
00:07:19,547 --> 00:07:22,816
TIME TO LIVE HAPPILY
 NEVER AFTER !

147
00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:24,016
( crowd screaming )

148
00:07:24,119 --> 00:07:29,289
NOW, THIS IS THE SADDEST DAY
OF MY ENTIRE LIFE !

149
00:07:30,994 --> 00:07:33,595
( clapping and cheering )

150
00:07:36,901 --> 00:07:38,601
HUH ?

151
00:07:38,703 --> 00:07:41,271
TO HOLD, AND BLAH, BLAH--
OH, JUST KISS THE BRIDE !

152
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:43,707
( grunting )

153
00:07:51,085 --> 00:07:52,885
( rewinding )

154
00:07:54,924 --> 00:07:57,657
THESE WEDDINGS
ARE SO BEAUTIFUL !

155
00:07:57,759 --> 00:07:58,560
WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE PART

156
00:07:58,662 --> 00:08:01,496
WHERE THE GROOMS
ALL GET ABDUCTED.

157
00:08:01,598 --> 00:08:03,165
( blowing nose )

158
00:08:07,873 --> 00:08:10,707
WAIT A MINUTE,
THE GROOMS' LAST NAMES.

159
00:08:10,809 --> 00:08:13,710
BAKER, RICHARDS, IKINAWA,
DEGBERT.

160
00:08:13,812 --> 00:08:15,445
B-R-I-D...

161
00:08:15,547 --> 00:08:17,348
( gasping )
SHE'S SPELLING "BRIDESMAID" !

162
00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:20,385
THAT MEANS HER NEXT VICTIM
IS AN "E" !

163
00:08:20,487 --> 00:08:23,155
WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS,
HERE WE GO.

164
00:08:23,257 --> 00:08:24,323
NO...

165
00:08:24,426 --> 00:08:25,424
NO...

166
00:08:25,526 --> 00:08:26,627
"EMERSON".

167
00:08:26,728 --> 00:08:29,496
THE EMERSON WEDDING,
TODAY, AT SIX !

168
00:08:29,598 --> 00:08:32,667
OH, NO,
I ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES !

169
00:08:32,769 --> 00:08:34,402
IT'S A GOOD THING
YOU'RE HERE, OZZY.

170
00:08:34,504 --> 00:08:35,504
OTHERWISE,
I WOULD HAVE NO REASON

171
00:08:35,606 --> 00:08:37,773
TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING
OUT LOUD.

172
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,713
ONLY 10 MINUTES TO GO !

173
00:08:48,321 --> 00:08:50,055
DARN !

174
00:08:57,732 --> 00:08:59,300
DOUBLE DARN !

175
00:09:02,104 --> 00:09:03,605
( brakes squealing )

176
00:09:10,248 --> 00:09:12,516
NOW, THIS IS
JUST GETTING RIDICULOUS.

177
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:18,456
( man )
DO YOU PROMISE TO BE FAITHFUL
TO YOUR WIFE,

178
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,192
TO NEVER AGAIN KNOW
ANOTHER WOMAN'S TOUCH ?

179
00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:24,663
TO NEVER AGAIN EXPERIENCE
THE JOY OF SEXUAL INTIMACY

180
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:28,468
WITH ANYONE NEW OR DIFFERENT
OR MORE ADVENTUROUS,

181
00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:29,736
OR YOUNGER,

182
00:09:29,838 --> 00:09:32,740
UNTIL SWEET DEATH
RELEASES YOU FROM THIS VOW ?

183
00:09:32,842 --> 00:09:33,874
UH...

184
00:09:33,976 --> 00:09:35,610
I-- I--

185
00:09:35,712 --> 00:09:37,746
( The Bridesmaid )
DON'T !

186
00:09:37,848 --> 00:09:39,682
( gasping )

187
00:09:39,784 --> 00:09:43,085
WHY DON'T YOU SMELL
MY LOVELY FLOWERS ?

188
00:09:43,187 --> 00:09:44,655
( moaning )

189
00:09:48,995 --> 00:09:50,995
DROP THAT GROOM,
BRIDESMAID !

190
00:09:51,097 --> 00:09:52,430
I DON'T THINK SO !

191
00:09:52,532 --> 00:09:53,899
I'VE GOT EXPLODING RICE,

192
00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:55,768
AND I'M NOT AFRAID
TO THROW IT !

193
00:09:55,870 --> 00:09:57,737
DON'T YOU KNOW
NOT TO THROW RICE AT WEDDINGS ?

194
00:09:57,838 --> 00:09:59,639
BIRDS EAT IT
AND THEY DIE !

195
00:09:59,741 --> 00:10:01,507
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE
BIRDSEED !

196
00:10:01,610 --> 00:10:04,746
I'M SORRY, BUT THEY WERE
ALL OUT OF EXPLODING BIRDSEED.

197
00:10:04,848 --> 00:10:06,347
HA !

198
00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:08,851
( people screaming )

199
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,787
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
FOOT IN FACE !

200
00:10:11,889 --> 00:10:13,890
YOU MAY KICK THE BRIDE !

201
00:10:18,798 --> 00:10:21,165
DO YOU LIKE MY BOUQUET ?

202
00:10:21,268 --> 00:10:22,701
STRIPPERELLA,
LOOK OUT !

203
00:10:22,803 --> 00:10:24,336
THOSE FLOWERS ARE...

204
00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:28,174
NEVER MIND.

205
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:32,613
( laughing )

206
00:10:36,253 --> 00:10:38,686
( man on television )
And, so, Stripperella completely
and utterly failed

207
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:40,789
to stop the evil grooms-napper

208
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,825
we've come to know
as "The Bridesmaid".

209
00:10:42,927 --> 00:10:45,062
Due to Stripperella's
humiliating ineptitude,

210
00:10:45,164 --> 00:10:48,465
couples everywhere are canceling
their weddings in fear.

211
00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:50,268
NEXT UP,
MY COLONOSCOPY VIDEO,

212
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:53,004
AN INTRIGUING TRIP
DEEP INSIDE MY ASS.

213
00:10:53,106 --> 00:10:55,507
HEY, I WANTED TO SEE THAT !

214
00:10:55,609 --> 00:10:56,976
WHAT'S THE MATTER, LASSIE ?

215
00:10:57,078 --> 00:10:59,245
YOU LOOK SADDER
THAN A PAIR OF OLD BAGPIPES.

216
00:10:59,347 --> 00:11:01,548
I JUST HATE
COLONOSCOPY VIDEOS.

217
00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:03,250
( buzzing )

218
00:11:05,054 --> 00:11:06,954
PERSEPHONE,
HOW COME I NEVER NOTICED

219
00:11:07,056 --> 00:11:08,957
YOU HAVE A SCOTTISH
ACCENT BEFORE ?

220
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,759
I DON'T.

221
00:11:13,765 --> 00:11:15,598
AGENT 69, HERE,
WHAT'S UP ?

222
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,001
We've figured out the identity
of The Bridesmaid.

223
00:11:18,103 --> 00:11:19,970
Her name is Molly Lumpkin.

224
00:11:20,072 --> 00:11:22,407
She was a bridesmaid
at over 35 weddings

225
00:11:22,509 --> 00:11:23,775
last year, alone.

226
00:11:23,877 --> 00:11:25,410
THAT POOR GIRL !

227
00:11:25,512 --> 00:11:27,279
THAT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE
ANYONE SNAP !

228
00:11:27,381 --> 00:11:30,216
We need to find out where
she's keeping those grooms.

229
00:11:30,318 --> 00:11:33,353
She may be planning on
killing them... or worse.

230
00:11:33,455 --> 00:11:35,156
WHAT'S WORSE
THAN KILLING THEM ?

231
00:11:35,258 --> 00:11:37,291
She may actually marry them.

232
00:11:37,393 --> 00:11:38,692
UH, CHIEF ?

233
00:11:38,795 --> 00:11:40,629
I DON'T THINK THAT'S WORSE
THAN KILLING.

234
00:11:40,731 --> 00:11:42,531
Clearly,
you've never been married.

235
00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:44,567
I THINK I KNOW
HOW TO FIND HER.

236
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:46,569
CHIEF, IT'S TIME FOR US
TO HAVE A WEDDING.

237
00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:49,306
I'm sorry, Erotica,
but you're not my type.

238
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,008
NO, NO !

239
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,812
WE'LL STAGE A FAKE WEDDING
TO LURE THE BRIDESMAID.

240
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,046
Great idea.

241
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,248
THEN IT'S OFFICIAL.

242
00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:03,991
OH GOD, YEAH...

243
00:12:04,093 --> 00:12:05,526
THE BRIDESMAID ONLY NEEDS
ONE MORE LETTER

244
00:12:05,628 --> 00:12:07,929
AND HER COLLECTION
OF GROOMS WILL BE COMPLETE !

245
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:10,531
THIS WEDDING IS OUR LAST CHANCE
TO STOP HER !

246
00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:12,568
WE'VE MADE SOME MODIFICATIONS
TO YOUR WEDDING DRESS

247
00:12:12,670 --> 00:12:13,769
THAT SHOULD HELP YOU.

248
00:12:13,871 --> 00:12:15,771
WE'VE INSTALLED A PAIR
OF HIGH-POWERED FLASHLIGHTS

249
00:12:15,873 --> 00:12:17,507
INSIDE YOUR BUSTIER.

250
00:12:17,609 --> 00:12:21,311
YOUR WEDDING VEIL
IS ALSO A GAS MASK.

251
00:12:23,282 --> 00:12:25,349
AND WE'RE ABOUT TO
GIVE YOU AN S.T.D.

252
00:12:25,451 --> 00:12:26,252
A WHAT ?

253
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:27,586
S.T.D.

254
00:12:27,688 --> 00:12:30,890
SECRET TRACKING DEVICE.

255
00:12:30,992 --> 00:12:31,891
AH...

256
00:12:31,993 --> 00:12:33,259
YES, WE CALL IT
"THE CLAP".

257
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,660
BECAUSE IN ORDER
TO ACTIVATE IT,

258
00:12:34,762 --> 00:12:36,129
YOU HAVE TO CLAP.

259
00:12:36,232 --> 00:12:38,198
( beeping )

260
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,567
I'VE DREAMT
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

261
00:12:39,669 --> 00:12:41,336
SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL !

262
00:12:41,438 --> 00:12:43,071
EXCEPT, IN MY DREAM,
IT WASN'T FAKE

263
00:12:43,173 --> 00:12:44,940
AND I WASN'T MARRYING
SPECIAL AGENT 14.

264
00:12:45,042 --> 00:12:49,246
DON'T WORRY, STRIPPERELLA,
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN !

265
00:12:49,348 --> 00:12:52,882
ESPECIALLY,
ON OUR FAKE HONEYMOON.

266
00:12:52,984 --> 00:12:54,785
I DON'T SEE WHY
HE GETS TO MARRY HER.

267
00:12:54,888 --> 00:12:56,220
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE
TO MARRY HER.

268
00:12:56,322 --> 00:12:57,188
WHAT ?!

269
00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:58,757
I TOTALLY SHOULD BE
MARRYING HER.

270
00:12:58,859 --> 00:13:00,559
OH, LIKE SHE'D
REALLY MARRY YOU, GEEK.

271
00:13:00,661 --> 00:13:02,060
SPAZ !
VIRGIN !

272
00:13:02,162 --> 00:13:03,363
( gasping )

273
00:13:03,465 --> 00:13:06,299
I TOLD YOU THAT
IN STRICT CONFIDENCE.

274
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,307
( James )
EROTICA ?

275
00:13:12,409 --> 00:13:13,775
WE NEED TO TALK.

276
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,510
JAMES, WHAT'S WRONG ?

277
00:13:15,612 --> 00:13:17,179
I KNOW ABOUT MR. "D".

278
00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:19,248
I FOUND THIS WEDDING
ANNOUNCEMENT IN THE PAPER.

279
00:13:19,350 --> 00:13:21,385
I KNOW THIS LOOKS BAD,
BUT TRUST ME,

280
00:13:21,487 --> 00:13:23,754
I'M NOT REALLY
GETTING MARRIED.

281
00:13:28,161 --> 00:13:29,961
HUH ?

282
00:13:30,063 --> 00:13:31,264
( all )
SURPRISE !

283
00:13:31,366 --> 00:13:32,732
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ?

284
00:13:32,834 --> 00:13:35,034
WELL, I OVERHEARD YOU
ON THE PHONE

285
00:13:35,136 --> 00:13:39,006
TALKING ABOUT YOUR WEDDING,
SO I TOLD EVERYONE !

286
00:13:39,108 --> 00:13:40,941
YOU DIDN'T THINK WE WERE
GOING LET YOU GET MARRIED

287
00:13:41,043 --> 00:13:43,177
WITHOUT THROWING YOU
A BACHELORETTE PARTY,

288
00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:44,580
DID YOU ?

289
00:13:44,682 --> 00:13:49,185
( laughing )
YOU TWO ARE SUCH
A PERFECT COUPLE.

290
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,553
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO.

291
00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:52,622
BUT THAT'S BEFORE I FOUND OUT
THAT TOMORROW

292
00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:54,759
EROTICA'S MARRYING ANOTHER MAN !

293
00:13:54,861 --> 00:13:56,326
JAMES, THERE'S
A GOOD EXPLANATION

294
00:13:56,429 --> 00:13:57,528
FOR ALL OF THIS.

295
00:13:57,630 --> 00:13:59,431
I'M JUST NOT ALLOWED
TO TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.

296
00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:00,732
GOODBYE, EROTICA.

297
00:14:00,835 --> 00:14:03,002
BUT, JAMES, WAIT !

298
00:14:03,104 --> 00:14:08,309
( chuckling )
HEY, THIS PARTY'S TURNING OUT
BETTER THAN I THOUGHT !

299
00:14:08,411 --> 00:14:09,776
I KNOW WHAT WILL CHEER YOU UP !

300
00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:13,448
I MADE YOU A CAKE IN THE SHAPE
OF ANTHONY HOPKINS' BUTT !

301
00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:16,283
THE HAIR
IS CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES.

302
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,960
( The Bridesmaid )
SO, THEN, I WAS THINKING,
A SIMPLE SHEER SATIN GOWN

303
00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:26,564
WITH A DRAMATIC "V"
DOWN THE BACK.

304
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,998
( giggling )
AND INSTEAD OF A VEIL, I--

305
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:31,637
LOOK, IF YOU'RE GONNA KILL US,
PLEASE DO IT NOW !

306
00:14:31,739 --> 00:14:33,038
THIS IS HELL !

307
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,306
WHAT DO YOU WANT ?!

308
00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:36,777
WHAT DO I WANT ?!

309
00:14:36,878 --> 00:14:40,781
I JUST WANNA GET MARRIED
BEFORE I'M 40 !

310
00:14:40,883 --> 00:14:42,349
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK ?!

311
00:14:42,451 --> 00:14:48,356
I'VE BEEN IN 226 WEDDINGS
AND NOT ONE OF THEM WAS MINE.

312
00:14:48,458 --> 00:14:50,025
BUT THAT'S ABOUT TO CHANGE.

313
00:14:50,127 --> 00:14:52,261
YOU'VE ALL SHOWN THAT YOU'RE
NOT AFRAID OF COMMITMENT.

314
00:14:52,363 --> 00:14:57,334
YOU'RE ALL STILL SINGLE
AND YOU ALL OWN TUXES !

315
00:14:57,436 --> 00:14:58,637
MINE'S A RENTAL.

316
00:14:58,739 --> 00:15:00,272
AND, ACTUALLY,
I'M NOT SINGLE.

317
00:15:00,374 --> 00:15:02,107
YOU ABDUCTED ME
FROM MY RECEPTION.

318
00:15:02,209 --> 00:15:03,275
SHUT UP !

319
00:15:03,377 --> 00:15:04,810
NOW, ONE OF YOU
IS GOING TO MARRY ME,

320
00:15:04,912 --> 00:15:07,614
AND THE REST OF YOU ARE GOING
TO BE KILLED WITH THIS !

321
00:15:07,716 --> 00:15:09,850
AN ENGAGEMENT RING/DEADLY LASER.

322
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,118
ALLOW ME
TO DEMONSTRATE.

323
00:15:14,924 --> 00:15:17,892
SOMETHING BORROWED,
SOMETHING BLUE.

324
00:15:17,995 --> 00:15:20,963
I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU !

325
00:15:21,065 --> 00:15:22,699
PREPARE TO DIE !

326
00:15:22,801 --> 00:15:24,734
OH, RIGHT,
KILL THE BLACK GUY FIRST.

327
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,070
THAT'S ORIGINAL.

328
00:15:26,172 --> 00:15:28,739
NO, NO, REALLY,
THAT'S NOT THE REASON.

329
00:15:28,842 --> 00:15:30,208
IT WAS PURE CHANCE.

330
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:31,643
YEAH, WHATEVER.

331
00:15:31,745 --> 00:15:34,312
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND GET
YOURSELF A NICE WHITE HOOD

332
00:15:34,414 --> 00:15:35,982
TO GO WITH THAT
WEDDING DRESS, RACIST ?

333
00:15:36,084 --> 00:15:37,984
NO, NO,
I'M NOT A RACIST, OKAY ?

334
00:15:38,085 --> 00:15:39,953
HEY, GUESS WHAT ?
I'LL PROVE IT.

335
00:15:40,055 --> 00:15:41,155
I'LL KILL SOMEONE ELSE !

336
00:15:41,257 --> 00:15:43,090
YOU !
PREPARE TO DIE.

337
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,659
YOU KNOW, I JUST REMEMBERED,
I AM 1/4 AMERICAN INDIAN.

338
00:15:45,762 --> 00:15:48,496
DON'T YOU THINK WE HAVE SUFFERED
ENOUGH AT YOUR HANDS, WHITEY ?

339
00:15:48,598 --> 00:15:49,732
JEWISH !

340
00:15:49,834 --> 00:15:50,766
GAY.

341
00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:52,501
ESKIMO.

342
00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:59,977
COME ON, BRIDESMAID,
SHOW YOUR FACE.

343
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,415
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
MAN AND WIFE.

344
00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:04,883
YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.

345
00:16:04,985 --> 00:16:06,184
( spraying )

346
00:16:06,286 --> 00:16:08,220
COME ON, EROTICA.

347
00:16:08,323 --> 00:16:11,191
THE PEOPLE ARE
EXPECTING A SHOW !

348
00:16:11,293 --> 00:16:15,329
LET'S MAKE IT LOOK GOOD,
HUH ?

349
00:16:16,265 --> 00:16:17,499
( people gasping )

350
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:18,700
( banging on glass )

351
00:16:18,802 --> 00:16:23,139
EROTICA, EROTICA !

352
00:16:23,241 --> 00:16:24,907
( grunting )

353
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:29,913
OH, RIGHT, THANKS.

354
00:16:30,016 --> 00:16:31,949
JAMES !
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?!

355
00:16:32,051 --> 00:16:34,452
I REALIZED I DIDN'T WANT
TO LOSE YOU !

356
00:16:34,554 --> 00:16:36,655
I CAN'T LET YOU
MARRY THAT MAN !

357
00:16:36,757 --> 00:16:39,625
OH, JAMES !
THAT'S SO ROMANTIC !

358
00:16:39,727 --> 00:16:41,694
THIS IS LIKE A FAIRYTALE !

359
00:16:41,797 --> 00:16:44,632
WITH A HAPPY ENDING FOR ME !

360
00:16:46,937 --> 00:16:50,538
CAN'T BREATHE...
LOSING CONSCIOUSNESS.

361
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,709
TALKING TO... MYSELF.

362
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:56,712
SHE'S GETTING AWAY !

363
00:16:56,814 --> 00:16:58,047
I STILL HAVE
"THE CLAP" !

364
00:16:58,149 --> 00:16:59,116
YOU HAVE THE CLAP ?

365
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:00,617
NO !
IT'S AN S.T.D. !

366
00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:02,553
I HAVE THE CLAP, TOO !

367
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,890
I'VE BEEN TOO AFRAID
TO ADMIT IT BEFORE NOW,

368
00:17:04,992 --> 00:17:06,791
BUT THANKS TO
EROTICA'S COURAGE,

369
00:17:06,894 --> 00:17:08,060
I CAN !

370
00:17:08,162 --> 00:17:10,363
BY THE WAY, HONEY,
YOU PROBABLY HAVE IT, TOO !

371
00:17:12,434 --> 00:17:14,601
( car horn
playing bridal march )

372
00:17:15,704 --> 00:17:18,405
COME ON, S.T.D. !
DO YOUR THING !

373
00:17:18,507 --> 00:17:20,208
( grunting )

374
00:17:21,612 --> 00:17:23,779
( beeping )

375
00:17:28,153 --> 00:17:31,521
GET READY, BRIDESMAID,
'CAUSE HERE COMES THE BRIDE !

376
00:17:35,496 --> 00:17:37,296
I'VE GOT THE PRIEST,
I'VE GOT THE GROOMS.

377
00:17:37,398 --> 00:17:39,165
WHO'S READY TO GET MARRIED ?

378
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,734
ME !
ME !     ME !

379
00:17:40,836 --> 00:17:41,734
I DON'T WANNA DIE, ME !

380
00:17:41,837 --> 00:17:43,236
OKAY, GROOM NUMBER ONE,

381
00:17:43,338 --> 00:17:46,006
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
IS MY BEST QUALITY ?

382
00:17:46,109 --> 00:17:47,207
UH, YOUR EYES ?

383
00:17:47,309 --> 00:17:48,976
EYES ?
MY EYES ?!

384
00:17:49,078 --> 00:17:51,947
NO, IT'S MY FRIGGIN' BIG HEART,
YOU JACKASS !

385
00:17:52,049 --> 00:17:54,683
I'M A VERY SWEET PERSON,
EVERYBODY SAYS SO !

386
00:17:54,786 --> 00:17:56,586
( zapping )

387
00:17:56,688 --> 00:17:58,321
GROOM NUMBER TWO...

388
00:18:00,993 --> 00:18:02,125
( beeping )

389
00:18:05,065 --> 00:18:06,131
GOTCHA !

390
00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:07,766
ALL RIGHT, BRIDESMAID,

391
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,202
WHERE ARE
THE REST OF THE GROOMS ?

392
00:18:11,806 --> 00:18:13,707
I AM NOT THE BRIDESMAID !

393
00:18:13,809 --> 00:18:15,175
I AM THE EVIL FRENCH MAID !

394
00:18:15,277 --> 00:18:17,512
THE BRIDESMAID
IS ONE ROOM OVER.

395
00:18:17,614 --> 00:18:19,747
WE SPLIT THE RENT,
IT KEEPS THINGS AFFORDABLE.

396
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,483
OH, SORRY.

397
00:18:21,585 --> 00:18:24,319
NOW, TIME FOR THE MOP !

398
00:18:24,421 --> 00:18:25,354
WHERE AM I ?

399
00:18:25,456 --> 00:18:26,689
I'M ASKING
THE QUESTION,S HERE !

400
00:18:26,791 --> 00:18:28,157
AND YOU'D BETTER
THINK CAREFULLY

401
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:30,226
BECAUSE YOUR LIFE
MAY DEPEND ON YOUR ANSWER !

402
00:18:30,328 --> 00:18:31,795
IF YOU COULD CHANGE
ONE THING ABOUT ME,

403
00:18:31,897 --> 00:18:33,364
WHAT WOULD IT BE
AND WHY ?

404
00:18:33,466 --> 00:18:35,634
HI-YA !

405
00:18:36,336 --> 00:18:38,003
HOW INCREDIBLY CONVENIENT !
WE'RE FREE !

406
00:18:38,105 --> 00:18:39,204
( grunting )

407
00:18:39,306 --> 00:18:41,040
SORRY, STRIPPERELLA,
BUT I'M GETTING MARRIED !

408
00:18:41,142 --> 00:18:42,942
AND THERE'S NOTHING
YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME !

409
00:18:43,044 --> 00:18:44,510
( men screaming )

410
00:18:51,955 --> 00:18:54,924
ALL RIGHT, PREACHER,
START MARRYING !

411
00:18:55,026 --> 00:18:56,459
( muffled speaking )

412
00:18:56,561 --> 00:18:57,492
SAY "I DO" !
BUT--

413
00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:58,695
DO YOU WANNA LIVE ?!

414
00:18:58,797 --> 00:19:00,497
I DO !

415
00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:02,332
( muffled speaking )

416
00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:04,035
THIS IS IT,
FINALLY !

417
00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:05,302
I OBJECT !

418
00:19:05,404 --> 00:19:07,840
( grunting and screaming )

419
00:19:16,217 --> 00:19:18,285
GOODBYE, STRIPPERELLA !

420
00:19:24,294 --> 00:19:25,360
( car horn playing
bridal march )

421
00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:26,896
( dying out )

422
00:19:26,998 --> 00:19:28,765
SHE'S ALL YOURS, BOYS.

423
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:30,333
UH, STRIPPERELLA ?

424
00:19:30,435 --> 00:19:31,868
YOUR HEADLIGHTS ARE ON.

425
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,103
THANKS.

426
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:34,671
STRIPPERELLA,
YOU SAVED ME !

427
00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:36,074
IT WAS NOTHING, JAMES--

428
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,876
UH, IF THAT'S YOUR NAME
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS.

429
00:19:38,979 --> 00:19:39,911
IT IS.

430
00:19:40,014 --> 00:19:41,247
YOU WERE AMAZING !

431
00:19:41,349 --> 00:19:42,414
WELL, THANKS.

432
00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:43,916
YOU KNOW WHAT ?
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

433
00:19:44,018 --> 00:19:45,085
( unzipping )

434
00:19:45,187 --> 00:19:46,319
JAMES, ARE YOU OKAY ?

435
00:19:46,421 --> 00:19:47,588
I'M FINE, EROTICA.

436
00:19:47,689 --> 00:19:48,989
LOOK, I'M SORRY
ABOUT EVERYTHING.

437
00:19:49,091 --> 00:19:51,192
I PROMISE,
NO MORE SECRET WEDDINGS.

438
00:19:51,294 --> 00:19:53,962
I'M SORRY, EROTICA,
BUT I MET SOMEONE ELSE.

439
00:19:54,064 --> 00:19:54,930
WHAT ?!

440
00:19:55,032 --> 00:19:56,031
I DON'T MEAN TO HURT YOU.

441
00:19:56,133 --> 00:19:58,000
SHE JUST SORT OF CAME
CRASHING INTO MY LIFE.

442
00:19:58,102 --> 00:19:59,435
I DIDN'T PLAN IT,

443
00:19:59,537 --> 00:20:01,304
BUT I WOULDN'T BE HONEST
WITH MYSELF OR YOU,

444
00:20:01,406 --> 00:20:03,507
IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT
I'LL NEVER LOVE ANOTHER WOMAN

445
00:20:03,609 --> 00:20:05,242
AS MUCH AS I LOVE...

446
00:20:05,344 --> 00:20:06,510
STRIPPERELLA.

447
00:20:06,612 --> 00:20:10,381
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,
SEE, STRIPPERELLA IS--

448
00:20:10,483 --> 00:20:11,550
IS WHAT ?

449
00:20:11,652 --> 00:20:14,420
IS... IS GREAT,
I UNDERSTAND.

450
00:20:14,522 --> 00:20:16,489
I GUESS I CAN NEVER BE
THE WOMAN SHE IS.

451
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:17,924
IF IT MEANS ANYTHING,

452
00:20:18,027 --> 00:20:20,327
IF SOMETHING WERE TO
EVER HAPPEN TO STRIPPERELLA,

453
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,297
IF SHE WERE KILLED
OR HORRIBLY DISFIGURED

454
00:20:22,399 --> 00:20:24,432
OR DIDN'T AGE WELL,

455
00:20:24,535 --> 00:20:26,134
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE
MY SECOND CHOICE.

456
00:20:26,237 --> 00:20:27,803
THANKS ?

457
00:20:27,905 --> 00:20:30,606
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THESE RIGHTS
THAT WE HAVE READ TO YOU ?

458
00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:31,942
I DO.

459
00:20:32,044 --> 00:20:34,277
YOU KNOW, I UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID.

460
00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:35,747
WE ALL WANNA FIND TRUE LOVE.

461
00:20:35,849 --> 00:20:37,048
ACTUALLY,
I WANTED TO GET MARRIED

462
00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:38,916
SO I COULD TAKE OUT
A HUGE LIFE INSURANCE POLICY

463
00:20:39,018 --> 00:20:40,586
ON MY HUSBAND,
HAVE HIM KILLED,

464
00:20:40,688 --> 00:20:43,788
AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
IN BARBADOS.

465
00:20:47,495 --> 00:20:50,698
I CAN'T BELIEVE EROTICA
GOT DIVORCED SO QUICKLY !

466
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,733
I HOPE ME SLEEPING
WITH HER HUSBAND

467
00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:54,036
HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.

468
00:20:54,138 --> 00:20:55,637
YOU SLEPT WITH MR. "D" ?

469
00:20:55,739 --> 00:20:56,904
SHAME ON YOU !

470
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:59,442
WELL, AT LEAST
SHE'S GETTING SOME GOOD USE

471
00:20:59,544 --> 00:21:01,043
OUT OF HER WEDDING DRESS !

472
00:21:01,145 --> 00:21:05,449
( bridal march playing )

473
00:21:08,555 --> 00:21:10,522
( whistling )

474
00:21:44,799 --> 00:21:47,633
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

475
00:21:49,137 --> 00:21:51,972
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪